What's in a Name?

by IcarusFics

Chapter 5: Chapter Five

Previous Chapter Next Chapter

I sat out on the balcony, cradling my cup of tea between my hooves and breathing in the fresh morning air. It was definitely an advantage, being this high up, as the city smell didn't reach me anywhere near as much.

I felt my hoof wander down and begin to rub my belly in a slow circular motion. I don't exactly know why I did it, but I found it comforting and I guess a part of me wanted the foal inside me to be comforted as well.

The foal… I wanted to see her. I wanted to hold her in my hooves and tell her how much I loved her. And I would do that, just not right now.

I thought of myself a few days ago compared to now. Would I have reacted anything like this? Would I still want to have this child? It was so hard to tell. The version of me a few days ago felt like an entirely different person, so much so that I couldn’t even really tell how I would’ve reacted. I guess I kinda am an entirely different person, I'm not even really a “person” anymore. I'm a pony.

Brisk Breeze. The name had come out of my mouth without even really thinking about it, but I knew that it was her name. The only explanation that I could think of was the naming dreams. Luna had told me previously that the dreams I was having were dreams a pregnant mare had before their foals were born.

Last night, though… was dreamless. For the first time in a proper sleep, my naming dream did not appear. Was that… was that because I had named my foal? It would make sense for the naming dreams to stop after deciding on the foal's name, but it caused me to worry. Would I not see Luna again? She had said that it was hard to find me the second time, and now that the dreams had stopped, would she find me again at all? I had so many questions left to ask!

From behind me, I heard the door to the balcony open and I turned around to see Lily walking out with her own cup of tea. She carefully crawled up onto the chair with me and lay down next to me, nuzzling into my neck. I nuzzled back and she sighed happily, taking a sip of her tea.

“It's a nice morning.”

“Not as nice as you.” I said and pecked her on the cheek.

“Ugh, gay.” She said with a laugh.

“Well… technically, I guess we kinda are. I mean before we were like this, we were both guys, and now, we're both girls.”

“So… is that like… double gay?”

I giggled and cuddled up closer with her.

“I guess it is. Lily… I gotta ask. Are you okay with this?” I asked apprehensively.

“Well, I was the one to say that I loved you first, so yeah.”

“Not… not just us being together, I also mean… the foal.”

Lily smiled and nuzzled me lovingly. She pulled up a hoof and poked me in the nose.

“Of course I am. I would say so if I wasn’t.”

“But… It’s such a new thing. I mean, we only found out about it yesterday, but… I don’t find myself worrying for some reason. Like… I'm only looking forward to it.”

Lily smiled and placed a hoof next to mine of my stomach and stroked in a calming circle.

“I know. It’s so weird… I know for a fact that this whole situation would be terrifying and strange for me before we became like this, but now? I can easily say that I really am okay. I mean, yeah, it’s still scary, but in a different way.”

I nodded and looked down at my belly. It was so strange to imagine the fact that in a few months, my stomach would be growing and new life would be about to start. It gave me an immense sense of pride and love, to imagine our child growing up, learning who she wants to be, reaching her goals, making friends…

“So. Brisk Breeze, hmm?”

At the mention of our child's name, I turned to Lily.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just don’t know why you decided on that name.”

“It was…” Images of the dream flashed in my memory. “The dreams. You know how I said that those dreams were called naming dreams? I think that… I think they were helping me name her.”

“Did it also tell you it’d be a girl?”

“...No, I just… It’s just a feeling that I'm getting. I guess I could be wrong, but I just kinda… know.”

“Not entirely sure what you mean, but I hope it is a girl. Girls are much cuter than boys.”

We sat together and watched the sun rise up over the cityscape. I felt a chill from the wind, but the warmth of Lily's body next to me seemed to be more than enough to keep me warm. I lost track of time as we napped together.

My mind drifted to our future together, and all of the worries that I had been pushing to the side. What were we going to do? I knew for a fact that even if we put all our money and savings together, we would only be able to afford this apartment for a few months before our cash ran out. Not to mention that Lily was still paying for her apartment while she was here.

Plus, even if we did find some way to earn money and keep the apartment, how would we be able to raise our foal here? It was a tiny, shitty apartment in the middle of the city, with nothing interesting around, not to mention that it would be dangerous to go outside. Would we be able to educate her here? Would she be able to make any friends at all?

I knew that it wasn’t good at all for her to grow up here. This was no place to raise a foal, regardless of whether it was possible or not. I wanted to give her the best life she could possibly have, and with no other ponies that we know of… That isn’t going to happen if she’s stuck in this appartment.

As the day dragged on, my mind was plagued with worries about our future. I was worried about all of us. Our happiness, our well being, everything that could possibly exist to be worried about crossed my mind at least once.

What if we were found? What if we couldn’t hide and someone found us? We could be captured and sold as rare animals! We could be experimented on and tortured in some lab somewhere! We could be made to be someone's pet!

“Is something wrong, Rose?” She put a hoof on mine and looked me in the eyes. I must have been making a strange face for her to know something was up.

“I’m just thinking.” I said, staring off.

“About what?”

“Just… us. Our future, I mean.”

“Talk to me.” She smiled encouragingly and put a hoof on my cheek. I smiled back, but it was halfhearted at best.

“I… I just want the best for Brisk Breeze. I want us to be the best parents we can be, but… I don’t think that we can do that here.”

Lily nodded silently and let me continue.

“We’re gonna run out of money eventually, and then someone's gonna come looking for us. I just… I don’t want anything to happen to us if we get found. If anything tore us apart… It’d kill me.” I tried to hold in sobs, as even thinking about the possibilities scared the absolute crap out of me.

Lily hugged me once more and stroked my mane, calming me down in the perfect way she always did.

“I'm scared too, Rose.” She whispered in my ear. “But they'll never take me away from you. Never.”

“You don't know that.” I buried my face deeper into Lily’s fur and tried my hardest not to soak her with tears while doing so.

“I will do everything in my power to protect you.” She pulled away and looked directly into my eyes before moving a hoof to my belly. “Both of you.”

I let myself smile through my tears and nodded before sinking back into another hug.

“I'm just being paranoid… and stupid.”

“No you're not. You're being a mother.”


The next few days passed relatively peacefully. I had my morning sickness a few times again, and found out the hard way that the “morning” part of morning sickness is a flimsy description at best. One day I was sick at around five in the morning, the next I was sick at eight at night. Regardless of when it was though, Lily was always there when it happened, holding my mane from my face and whispering comforting words in my ear. It was still a terrible thing to have to deal with, but it was made thousands of times more bearable with Lily there to comfort me.

My cravings seemed to switch up every few days as well as I found my desires switch from prawns and peanut butter to wasabi on toast. Lucky for me, I had a bit of wasabi left in my fridge and Lily had bought some bread for toast when she ordered groceries online. Not so lucky for me after I had eaten it though as Lily sat with me, helping me gulp down loads of water to satiate the burning in my mouth.

While originally using the couch as our primary sleeping spot, we eventually migrated to my room and slept together on the single bed. While obviously it wouldn’t be large enough for two adult humans, it was more than enough for two adult ponies and we both fit with ample space left over.

Lily and I grew more and more comfortable with each other as the days went on as well. When we kissed, she began to take the more dominant stance and pushed her tongue into my mouth instead of the other way around. I honestly loved it, as it left me feeling like… like the object of desire. Like I was wanted.

It was incredible.

It had not happened before hand when we kissed, but for one day, I started feeling something different, especially when Lily was being more dominant. I wasn't entirely sure what it was the first few times it happened, but after taking a look at my crotch after the third time, I realized that I was becoming extremely aroused. Being aroused in this different body felt completely different to how it was before. Instead of only focusing at my crotch, I began to feel all squirmy and fidgety, my entire body growing more sensitive as my arousal grew.

I became more and more frisky as the days went by, finding myself gravitating towards Lily's side even more than I usually did. I was still weirded out by the situation, so I avoided touching myself and forced myself to stop after kissing Lily for a while. I could tell, at least after a while, that Lily might have been noticing my arousal. She would also pull away from kisses earlier than normal, and while I didn’t mind her doing it, I still wanted to kiss her more and more.


One afternoon, we were watching episodes of a show on Lily's laptop when she suddenly paused it and looked at me nervously.

“Aww, was just getting to the good part.” I mock complained and pecked her on the cheek. “What’s up?”

“It’s about…” Lily looked off as if she was unsure of exactly what to say. “When… when we kiss.”

I kissed her softly on the lips, which she flinched away from.

“L-Lily? Wh-what’s wrong, why don’t you want to k-kiss me?”

“No, no! I want to kiss you more than anything!” She said in a rushed panic before calming down. “I’m just… when we do kiss, something… something happens.”

She must be talking about me getting aroused.

“I-I’m sorry, I just can’t help it. When you kiss me, I feel so… wonderful, and I just let myself get into it way too much. I’ll try my hardest to not get… you know, excited.”

“Wait, what?” I said, my eyes growing wider

“Y-you didn’t know?” Oh shit. “Uh… sorry. I didn’t mean to, I'm just, like, super attracted to you.”

“No, no, I meant… I get like that too.” I smiled and nervously held onto her hoof.

“Y-you do?”

“Yep. I just don’t know about how… you feel.”

“That’s why I wanted to talk to you. I have no idea if you feel… Comfortable being aroused like this.” Lily asked, her face scrunching a bit in embarrassment

“I… I can’t say I really am. At least, I’m not used to it yet. To be a man for so many years of my life, then to switch genders? It’s freaky, to say the least. Not to mention I’ll be…” I cringed at the thought of going through childbirth. “Giving birth in less than a year's time. It’s pretty scary.” I answered honestly

“Oh… Okay then, sorry.”

“Why are you being sorry?”

She looked away from me and fidgeted with her hooves. I placed a hoof around her withers and pulled her closer, causing her to turn around and look me in the eye, centimetres from my face.

“Please, Lily. I love you. Tell me why.”

She closed her eyes and sighed in defeat.

“I want to be with you.” She said blankly

“You are with me.”

She rolled her eyes and groaned.

“No, I mean I want to be with you intimately.”

“Y-y-y-you m-mean you-”

“I want to have sex with you.”

Oh. Oh wow. I felt a shudder of arousal sweep through my body and I felt my body shiver slightly.

“I… I just wanted to know if you were comfortable having… You know, girly bits. It was hard to get used to, but… I kinda like what I have now, but if you’re not comfortable, then we won’t do anything.” She put her head down in disappointment and closed her eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“No!” I leapt forward and pinned Lily down to the bed. She stared back up at me, her eyes filled with confusion and a little bit of fear. “Uh, I mean… Yes. I want to be with you too.”

“B-but I thought you said that you didn’t like what you have down there. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Lily, I have been uncomfortable for the past three days, but not because I don’t feel completely used to my parts yet. I’ve been uncomfortable because I was so scared that being aroused would freak you out.”


“I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable, so I stopped kissing you whenever I felt myself get… too into it.”

“Oh my god.” Lily brought her hooves up to her face and covered her eyes.

“What’s wrong?”

“Are you telling me we’ve been doing the exact same thing this entire time?”

“What do you mean?”

I’ve been pulling out of our kisses because I thought my arousal would make you uncomfortable!” She shouted, hooves, still covering her face. I reached forward and pulled her hooves away, revealing a brightly blushing Lily beneath.

“I might not be used to having these parts yet, but… I want you to make me comfortable.” I pushed my head down and kissed Lily passionately, this time taking dominance over the situation and exploring Lily's mouth. She immediately moaned into my mouth, accepting the kiss completely and stroking my body with her hooves.

I pulled away to her disappointment only to shut the laptop, leaving us in the light of the dwindling sun.

“Are you sure you’re ready for this, Rose?”

I smiled down at her, my eyes half lidded, and bit my lip.

“Make me your mare.”

Author's Notes:

I wanted to make this chapter a little longer than the others, but I did say that I would split the clop chapters into separate "cloptional" chapters for those who wanted to experience the story without explicit scenes, so this one is unfortunately shorter than I wanted. While the next chapter is optional, it does offer insight and development to our characters, so feel free to read it if you like, even if it is just for the development.

Regardless, I hope you enjoyed. :twilightsmile:

Next Chapter: Chapter Five and a Half (Cloptional) Estimated time remaining: 4 Hours, 30 Minutes
Return to Story Description
What's in a Name?

Mature Rated Fiction

This story has been marked as having adult content. Please click below to confirm you are of legal age to view adult material in your area.

Back to Safety


Login with