Neaera was already weird, being pretty much the only firstborn pony-human hybrid in Equestria, her first words were pretty much inappropriate (and dank to Deadpool), and she aged too fast. Excluding her fist words after birth, Neaera babbled, but spoke like a real baby after only 26 days. This was strange for the two parents as they saw their child speak after a short time.

"Deadpool?" Luna asked "It is... normal for your babies to speak at this young age?"

"Nope." Deadpool answered "They usually take 6 months to speak. I think this is the work of her pony side."

"...Expain."

"Well, from what I remember, Pound and Pumpkin Cake spoke after being a month old, even if they did say 'Pinkie Pie' in their sleep. Movement, however, I think will take a bit longer."

"Why is that? Part of a human thing?"

"Bingo! Our babies take at least 9 to 12 months to begin their first steps, then 14 to 17 months to walk like pros! Then it varies to see who'll lose their will to walk and instead use those scooters to move around, saying they have a disability. I sure as hell hope our child doesn't become those fatasses."

"Huh... you admit that you humans are lazy?"

"Not all the time. Why, if I were THAT lazy, then we wouldn't be together with our little girl/filly." Luna blushed and smiled.

"Aw, thank you, Wade." They hugged each other.

"So... with our little Neaera asleep... you wanna-"

"Not today. I'm still hurt from giving birth to her, though I doubt you know that."

"Luna, I've been impaled, stabbed, shanked, crushed, mutilated, mauled, f'd over multiple times! You think I don't know what I went through to match your pain, then you had never stepped on a Lego brick." He shuttered. "The Lego Brick... so much pain."

Strange enough, after 13 days, Neaera was walking around on her legs, balancing and walking like a human. True, she needed help, but both Deadpool & Luna, encouraging her to walk to them, were surprised to see her walk so fast, especially from what Deadpool said. Neaera approached, but fell to Deadpool. He quickly snagged her.

"GOTCHA!!!" He said. "Already walking, eh!? I wouldn't be surprised if you're going to walk around like me in the future!" Luna exited from her room, seeing her two most important subjects in her life. She smiled, seeing how Deadpool was, very surprisingly, a good father, even with his troubled past.

"Alright," she said "enough. Are you hungry, Neaera?"

"Ah!" She replied.

"Alright. Why don't you take your nap?"

"NUU!!! No Naps!"

"She kinda has a point." Deadpool said "I mean, when you get older, you want the naps, don't cha?"

"Not helping." Luna spoke with her teeth shut.

"I know, but are you here to talk about her... fast growth?"

"...How did you-?"

"My future self came to me last night and told me about her aging!"

"...You... future... self?"

"Yep! Like Twilight with herself, minus the drama! Turns out, though our baby is a human-pony mix, our magic & abilities are inside of her, and, due to some weird thing, that leads to her to age fast! In face, myself gave me the chart of what to expect!" He pulled out a large chart. "Yep! According to my future selves statistics, every 4.35 days equals a month for her!"

"A month!?"

"Yep, and, approximately, 52.1428571429 days means an entire year for her."

"Mother of my sister! She's growing TOO fast!"

"Yep, and... by the end of the year... she's going to look like a seven year old!"

"She ages seven times faster than a normal child!?"

"Yep! And that's why I have assigned her in Cheerilee's school already." Luna's face went pale. Deadpool placed Neaera on the floor and walked to his wife. "Hey, what's wrong? Aren't you glad that I did the smart stuff without a calculator? ...Okay, It was from my future self, but-"

"Deadpool... does that mean..." She teared up "our child won't live long?"

"What!? No!!! Of course not! ... I hope so." Luna bawled "L-Luna!? Calm down, please!?"

"OUR CHILD'S GONNA PASS AWAY SOONER THAN EXPECTED!!! MY BABY!!! MY SWEET, LITTLE-" Deadpool slapped her.

"Will you snap out of it!? This isn't the time to panic." Luna was flabbergasted "Ooh! Fancy!" She turned to Deadpool with a growl.

"Did thouest just slap a princess!?"

"Yes, and I'll do it again." He slapped her with the other hand. "There, now, hear me out. What is it that you and I have? Or, at least, what does every Alicorn share?"

"...Immortality."

"Correct. And, what do I have?"

"...Insanity?" she asked sarcastically.

"Besides that."

"A collection of weapons that you'll need to get rid of to let the baby live safely."

"Hey, I'll get rid of them soon enough. But, no."

"A huge, flapping, d-" Deadpool placed his hands over Deadpool's mouth, shushing her.

"Not in front of the baby! And, yes, I have THAT, but I'm more or less talking about my healing factor."

"...Right. And what does that do?"

"Well, considering I got m healing factor from Wolverine himself, and she has both mine, his, and your DNA, there's a chance that when she reaches her young adulthood, not only will she no longer age, but she's gonna be nigh invincible!"

"...Invincible?"

"Invincible! My healing factor, your magic, combined to something adorable... WE CAN RULE THE WORLD LIKE GODS!!!"

"I'm already one, Wade, and she's not going to a tyrannical psychopath, but a princess like me."

"...A princess? Really? As adorable as it is to imagine our daughter to dress up like something from Disney, I think that she's going to enjoy my type of life; the badass, anti-hero life!"

"OH NO!!! She it NOT going to live your idiot lifestyle, Wade! She is going to be a responsible leader!"

"Who punishes herself for a mistake by making a monster?"

"SHUT UP!!! We already chatted with that!"

"Heh, yeah, and I'm gonna tell her that it's alright to make mistakes; just learn from them and take the punches thrown at you."

"She will be a great contributor to society!!!"

"She's gonna help herself!"

"Save millions!"

"Save those she loves!"

"Have security!"

"Secure herself!" Both stared at each other, then grabbed each other, fell to the floor, and made out again. Neaera, meanwhile, baby walked her way through an open hole. She walked around for a bit, some of the ponies stopping and staring at the child. Some of the ponies just stood still, others backed away from her, and others... were preparing their convenient nets. Celestia landed near the child, making everypony stop & bow to her. She looked at Neaera, who, in turn, looked at her. Celestia couldn't help but smile.

"What are you doing out here?" she asked, lowering her head to her. "Hm... you've grown quite fast for being less than a year old. It's no wonder why my sister kept me from seeing you. Come along, your parents must be worried."

"S-sun... butt." Neaera said. Celestia blinked, but sighed.

"You really are Deadpool's child." She used her magic and carried the baby. "Hopefully, you're like your mother." she flapped her powerful wings and went back to the castle... only to see Deadpool and Luna making out without any of their clothes on. "Ugh! Really!?"

"F**K HER RIGHT IN THE P***Y!!!"

"LANGUAGE!!!"