I was woken by the creaking of a cabinet. The windows were open, allowing a sliver of light to peek through. I yawned before sitting up and looking for Rosetta. I spotted him by his dresser as he threw on his lab coat and other doctor things. As he stopped to toss a stethoscope and a pouch of hard candies into his bag, he turned to look back at me, greeting me with a curt smile.
“Sorry, I have to go look at an oil worker’s leg, inoculate a foal, and give one of the constables a checkup…” he sighed.
“You don’t need to apologize, Rose, you’ve got shit to do. Helpful shit, not pencil pusher shit,” I said as I felt my body start to wake up.
“I realize, it’s why I chose to be a doctor.” The confident tenor in his voice had returned. I leaned back and sprawled across the pillow like a snow wendigo.

“Must’ve been nice.”

“What? Choosing my profession? I still had to show an aptitude,” he replied as he straightened himself out in the mirror. I could tell he was watching me, cute flank facing me or not. “Icepick, I don’t know what you’ve been told your whole life, but you will always have more choices than you think you do. You can always do more for other other ponies and yourself.” He turned to face me.

“Things are different for us. I was born a Ranger, and no matter what happens, I’ll die one. Doesn’t give me a lotta choice,” I finished. He then made his way over to the side of the bed, before bending his head down.

“That may be, but right here, right now, you’ve got some choices. The first one that comes to mind is Permittivity. Did sleeping help sort out your feelings?” His tone was curious, eyes alert despite the dark rings under them.

“I-I guess. Give him the benefit of the doubt, be supportive, ya know. That kinda touchy-feely stuff. If only to see if a mentally healthy Perm is less of an asshole-” I saw Rosetta frown at that last bit, and quickly corrected myself. “I know what you’re going to say, ‘don’t kick a pony when their down’, and ‘you’re the closest one to him’, so I guess I’ll go easy on him-”

“Well, first of all, I don’t sound like that,” he interrupted, “and second, if you want to be more than that cutie mark, the first step would be to help out a pony who needs it.” I bit my lip when he mentioned my mark, and dropped my gaze. It took a moment before I could respond.

He cracked a smile. “You’re challenging me, aren’t you?”

“Of course you’d think of self-improvement like that,” he laughed.

“What’s that suppose to m-” I started to say, before he leaned in to plant a kiss on my forehead. I’m ashamed to admit that my heart skipped a beat when he did, not that I didn’t want something more after I processed what he’d done…

“I...I have to go, Icepick. It was wonderful having you over, and I look forward to seeing you again,” he blurted as he turned tail and made for the door. He literally couldn’t get any pinker!

“Bye, Rosie!” I yelled as the door closed after him.. The sun was starting to rise above the horizon now. It might’ve have been the stunning view, it might’ve been the smile spreading across my muzzle, and it could’ve been my mind thinking over what he’d said … but I knew it was gonna be good day.

The usual activity of the town was subdued early in the morning. My nose smelled breakfasts being cooked in homes, and the food wagons that were catering to the returning and departing oil ponies weren’t helping either. I was tempted to see if they’d feed the pretty mare who wandered out of the desert, but I decided against it.
Pretty soon, I arrived at the little inn Perm and I were lodged at. The moment I walked up the ramp to get into the place I saw Perm trotting towards exit. He paused for half a second before he recognized me
“You wanna get some chow?” I asked him after he stopped in the doorway.
“That is an interesting way of saying good morning,” Perm said sternly before smiling slightly. “I intended to do so anyway.” I snorted as he walked down the ramp.

“One of the wagons two blocks down smelled really good,” I told him. Perm was wearing all his equipment that hadn’t been stuffed into the storage crate alongside my armour, other than the helmet. His mane seemed to be sticking out on one side more than the other, while his eyes habitually took in as much of his surroundings as possible. He also smelled like ozone and sweat, which is something I can’t say I hate…

“Um... Icepick, it would be appreciated if you pointed us in that direction of the aforementioned food cart,” he spoke up just as I caught myself staring at him. Of course, he was almost eye level with me, half a hoof taller than Rosetta.

Fuck.

“Just follow me,” I said in annoyance, mostly to myself. What is this place doing to me? What are the stallions doing? I looked back towards him. “Aren’t you going to ask me about where I was?”

“I could ask you the exact same question,” Perm shot back, half snide, half playful, and roughly nudged my shoulder before I could say anything.

“I would’ve done that!” He seemed momentarily startled by my volume, and he flinched a bit before his grin came back in full.

“Alright, I spent the evening talking with some of the ponies here. I listened to their stories and took in the tapestry that those stories created. Upon completing that, I walked the outskirts of the town and thought about what it all meant, how strange it was… that I was the first of my people to discover experience it. I can’t recall when exactly I decided to trot back, but the night was certainly swayed me to do so. I love the night gusts, they remind me-” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him peek at me, and did so every few seconds. He wanted to see if I liked his words.

“Of home?”, I replied, nudging his shoulder playfully.. My interruption confused him for a moment.

“Yes, how did you know?” At this point I could tell when he was biting his cheek, even if he was trying to hide his suspicion.

“You said that you were from the north right? Northern areas are colder.” He nodded.

“That is quite astute of you,” Permittivity said to me as I nudged him harder. “Hey, I complimented you!”

“I apologize, it’s merely my automatic reaction at this moment in time,” I said mockingly before cracking up, snorting and laughing as I watched for Perm’s reaction. His expression seemed to somehow go from offended to annoyed and back to normal in the span of two seconds. From the corner of my eye, I could see a few ponies watching us.Most of them smiled at us. It wasn’t weird to be smiled at, but there were also hints of amusement in their eyes.. Oh, oh!

“Fuckin’ cut that shit out then!” He shot back, trying to stupidly copy my way of talkin’. I snorted and bumped my hip against him. He chuckled a bit before going back to his normal way of talking came back, and smiled in that way I liked. Wait wha- “How was your evening?” he asked.

“I ate at Rosetta’s place. We talked for hours and when we realized how late it was, we both passed out,” I responded. As I watched his face, I realized that a part of me wanted him to be annoyed by it.

“That’s wonderful, I take it you learned more about the large city that’s our next stop? Paradise was the name, correct?” Perm asked me with interest, he seemed happier to ask me about this than when I finished his sentence.

“Yeah, he told me about it,” I half mumbled as I kept my head facing forward.

“That’s good. I can’t imagine that he would have the chance to give us a tour, as much as we’d like that.” He didn’t seem to notice. Did he just assume that I didn’t do anything with Rosetta, or did he and just not mind?

“It’ll be… nice to see a whole city full of Equestrians living like this,” I added.

“Are you feeling alright? Did you sleep poorly?” He asked me with concern in his voice. I mean, I did have a lot to think about the night before. Still, why was he being so fucking nice?
“Wha-no,” I looked him in the eyes. They were bright as always, even in the muted colors of dawn. I had always hated that about him, but if he was a nice stallion under it all, maybe I could like it. I shook my head and bumped him again. “Just hungry.”
“If you want me to escort you back to the suite, I can always come back with food for you,” Perm asked me softly, a frown forming on his lips. “There’s nothing to be ashamed of in being ill, especially in the presence of a population you’ve never had prior contact with-”
“Stop, stop. Perm, did someone slip you a pleasantness potion or something, this is weird,” I said to him before immediately regretting it.
“I-Icepick,” he grimaced at me before stopping once again. “If you want some reason, I’ll be perfectly frank: I did some thinking last night. I realized that you’ve become a friend to me, and that I should be better to my friends. Not only because I have so very few, but because my own personal demons shouldn’t be imposed on those around me. Is that a satisfactory?” He scowled at me as I stopped and spun to face him.
I stood there for a moment. My muscles tensed up as I felt his eyes meeting mine, he wasn’t the kind to back down, I was the same way. But I had started the stupid scene. I had ruined something because I couldn’t wrap my head around the idea that he could act better right after I promised to be nicer to him. Was I trying to sabotage myself? All of those words with Rose, all that time feeling trapped in another pony's body, wasted? My breath hitched and I felt a need to act. I took the few steps needed to get muzzle to muzzle with him…

He was as surprised as I was when I wrapped a foreleg around him. Perm nearly yelped as I hugged him. “I’m sorry,” I whispered in his ear. His mane was pressing against my head and that silly scarf thing he wore was rubbing against my neck. I could feel my heart beating way faster than it should’ve been. A moment later he put his foreleg around my neck. The morning was chill. He was anything but. Perm pulled me closer, my chest pressing into his. I heard him draw a deep breath.
“I know,” he whispered into my ear. Perm’s words were punctuated by warm breath that tickled my ear, and when my ear flicked and bopped his muzzle he laughed nervously. Maybe he was realizing finally just how weird this was for us. That as much as we had both pushed each other away, and tried to get closer… this was the closest we had ever been. Other than the time we had gone hoof to hoof. When I thought of that, just a few hours ago really, I frowned. He was the only pony I knew here, and I had clocked him. I’m mare enough to admit that I pulled him closer when I thought about that moment. So, I was standing on a street hugging the stallion that I had more feelings about than any other for three hundred kilometers, my stomach rumbling, but I felt my comfortable then than I had since... Since I had left Reflex in his hospital bed.

“I didn’t know y’all were a couple,” a pony with a familiar voice spoke up from behind me. We let go of each other and I turned to face the pony. It was the mare that had spotted us walking in, Copper something. I glanced at Perm, he was staring a hole into her head.
“Incorrect: we were friends having a moment,” Perm told her slowly, like he was talking to a slow foal. I didn’t know what to think, having him close had been nice… and now he was giving shit to an annoying mare. I could get behind Perm being an asshole to annoying ponies. A part of me realized that I was the same way to annoying shits, he might even like that about me-
“Okie dokie, I didn’t mean to bother y’all,” She said to him with a drained expression. She hadn’t really done anything wrong, I thought as I kicked a bit of sand with a forehoof. But I saw on Perm’s muzzle his train of thought. He lost the sneer and it shifted to a frown.
“I apologize. Actually, I forgot to thank you for giving us a chance to explain ourselves,” he actually smiled at her. Then he stepped up and offered a hoof to her.

“Oh I know how ponies are before brekkie, don’t think nothing of it. I’m sure you’d do the same for me,” Copper replied chirpily before grasping his hoof and shaking it. “I just thought that y’all were cute together, is all,” she smiled at us both. Her words put a pleasant feeling in me, I mean she probably wasn’t wrong- No, just because we had a nice moment or two, or because Perm was being a better buck didn’t mean I wanted to be with him. I wasn’t falling for this place’s culture so quickly!

“Thanks Copper, and you’re right about the breakfast thing. Perm and I were on our way to grab some,” I walked up to them as I spoke, before gently nudging him again.

“Seize the day, Copper,” Perm said to her before dropping her hoof and waving goodbye. “Though, I must leave, the lady desires sustenance,” He finished just as I slugged him in the shoulder. Copper’s eyes opened in surprise before seeing Perm smile at me, and my fake scowl.

“I gotta go to muh shift,” her voice sounded sad for a second she started again. “And I know y’all don’t know many ponies here… so if you need an extra pony at your wedding, hit me up,” Her shit eating grin could’ve matched any of mine. And I barely have to tell you that she skipped off laughing under her breath.

A few seconds later Perm sat on his rump and rubbed his shoulder with his other hoof. “A little harder than necessary, I might add.”
“Shush,” I said to him before shaking my head at him. Still, a moment later I offered a hoof to him as he got back to his hooves. “Besides, I gotta keep up appearances.”
“Barbarian,” he shot back, before starting getting even with me again and bumping me with his hips. “Lead the way,” Perm said as I felt his tail run against my hind just long enough for it to seem intentional.
“Until you’ve survived a night with me, you don’t get to call me a barbarian,” I said with a grin. He blanched just before I flicked my tail over his foreleg. Right before I started trotting. I watched him shake his head before going into a trot to catch up with me again… Getting each other flustered is what friends are supposed to do?

I checked the clock on the wall of the little saloon they had here. Perm was off doing something, he mentioned something about checking the towns generators and transmission lines. That was hours ago though, and well, other than meeting him at Rosey’s place at nine-ish, I had time to burn. As I looked down at the pint in front of me I realized that this wasn’t a bad thing. How the fuck had this happened? Around me were ponies that I could speak with, they looked the same as the Rangers I had grown up with. Well, they didn’t walk like us, and I don’t think half of them could pass a basic physical training test…
“You like it miss?” The Barstallion said to me after he finished pouring a round for a couple oil ponies at the other end of the bar.
“It’s got a pretty nice finish to it, and it’s pretty smooth. But to be honest, it’s weaker than I’m used to. Good for a meal though,” I told the bar stallion. He looked about middle aged, his fur a bit patchy and his mane receding. The stallion reminded me of a supply knight I knew back in Ramsgard.
“Interesting, this the first beer you’ve had up here?” Perm would’ve said something about long lost cultural cousins, or something. Doesn’t matter what words you used or how you phrased it, there was always a low kind of curiosity in the air. I was an outsider. I could see it on their faces when I bit into their food, or asked tried talking to them about little things…
“Ayep, you got other kinds?” My eyes followed to the handles that dispensed the beer from pressurized drums.
“Lot’s,” He said automatically, before shaking his head slightly and speaking again. “Not as many as the big bars in Paradise, but we have some variety.”
“I think I understand,” I told him before taking another drink. “I’ll be going to a couple of those, but this will be the first one I went to,” My eyes fixed his.
“Miss, you came in from the south, right?” The Barpony asked as he leaned back against the counter.
“You know the Gilache river? Most of the Rangers and our tenants are around there, so pretty much south of here,” I told him as he spun around to pour another beer for a pony a couple stools away from me.

“I think I’ve seen it on a pre-war map before. That’s a hell of a journey Miss,” the barstallion faced me again, and rubbed his chin for a second. “Tenants? Aren’t all of y’all descendants of the Rangers that were based down there?”

“No, I’m a descendant of the original army sent down there to pacify the native Arabians. We survived the balefire winter. But so did most of the Arabians. A lot of them live in the cities and work in the factories or other industries, but most of them live out along the floodplain and work the land like they have since Luna got banished.”

“Why do you call them Tenants, do they rent the land they farm?” His muzzle was bent in confusion, bordering on anger.

“Basically. So, the deal is: the Arabians work the land and we’ll defend them from bandits and give them assistance. More tools, fertilizer, vaccines, the fruits of civilization. In exchange we take a portion of what they grow to feed the cities and all the Rangers in the more isolated posts.” This random stallion who ran a little shop in the middle of bumfuck nowhere was giving staring through me. What was he thinking-

“Miss, that sounds an awful lot like slavery,” my drink suddenly seemed a lot more interesting right then. “If I’m reading you right. Am I, miss?”

“There weren’t many of us when the rest of the world went dark. Up until a few days ago, I knew that we were the only Equestrians left. For the last hundred years, we’ve been rebuilding Equestria with nothing but some suits of armour and grit.” I told him as I downed the rest of the glass. My first instinct had been to tell him it was less like slavery, and more like serfdom… After a few moments of silence the bar pony slid another mug over to me.

“I don’t think you’re lying to me, even if it’d save face,” he sighed and told me his name. A hoof shake later and he was back to filling other ponies beers, pouring some shots of the harder stuff, and closing out a few ponies. I sat there sipping at the bitter beer, thinking about things. He didn’t understand the difference between Equestrians, and Arabians. He didn’t know what they would do to cause problems for us, or how many other Arabians they would kill in the process… Equestrians made sense, we had logic and reason, our scribes experimented, engineered and built. I mean hell, Rangers didn’t have half the bravery the insurgents had. I’d be the first one to tell anyone that. But that didn’t make them ready to run things all by themselves. Before we arrived Arabians had been killing each other with swords...

“You like that beer more?” This is where I tell you I can’t remember what his name was. Still, he had asked me a question and brought me back to reality.

“It’s a little rougher, less hoppy, so… it reminds me of home,” I told him bluntly.

“Right,” there was a pause as he picked up a glass and began holding it to the counter with one hoof, and polishing it with the other. “So, how’d you get up here anyway, if you don’t mind me asking.” I took a big gulp as my muscles tightened, I hadn’t thought about the drive up to the Mine, or the battles when we got there. When I spent all my time thinking about Perm’s lies, or Rosey’s smile, or their sheaths- I could forget about recent history, for awhile.

“Long story short: A bunch of us were sent far to the north, after intelligence found out the source of small arms and explosives that were being used to kill ponies. We found a number of Insurgent fighters on a northern road, we engaged them, and killed most of them. I took a prisoner though, he spoke Equestrian, had a different feel than the rest of them. I interrogated him. He gave us the location of a weapons cache, big old mine even further north, way further north than we had ever intended to go.” Fuck, this was going to be my debrief, half of it anyway. This stallion kept his frown in check, he didn’t look like he was feeling anything, all you could tell was that he was listening. “It was a trap. We wanted- we wanted to just go in there, stomp on some yokels and get back to our racks as soon as we could.” I looked down.

I felt like I had done this before- No, that was Perm. Someone down at the other end of the bar burped loudly. That was different at least. Half of my muzzle broken into a smile. “We dispersed to clear the mines, big mistake. When they attacked, the group I was leading got attacked. One of us died right there. I told the rest to go and detonate that entrance to the mines. I went on ahead, trying to slow them down-”

“That was brave of you,” he told me patiently. I laughed.

“It was stupid. By any fucking metric, I should be dead. But, I’m not, for some reason. So, there I was alone and trying to get as many of them as possible. Keep em’ from pursuing the rest of us through the other entrances. Eventually, I came into a big room, and I pretty much stumbled into a group of three, in the dark. It was a standoff, even if they had most of the cards. I thought I was fucked, and I was ready to bring the whole room down on us. I think that was what I wanted, one hell of an end, right?”

The clocked ticked above his head, still more time to kill. When I looked up to finished the mug I realized he had walked away. A good thing. I fished in one of the pockets in my undersuit, I pulled some of the coins out and dropped them on the counter. When I dropped out of the stool, my hooves pounded the floor. It was still an hour ‘til I was supposed to meet them, but I couldn’t stand this place. Somehow this fucker had gotten my mind back to that time. That moment.

I looked back when I got to the door- he was still making drinks for a bunch of stained oil ponies who had just gotten in. He was being polite, he hadn’t really wanted to know. No pony ever wanted the real story, everypony just wanted to hear pleasant things, the things that left them alone. Pleasantries. The door swung shut behind me. I didn’t belong in this place, with these ponies. That stallion was going to tell them all about us, that we enslave, that we oppress, and all from the safety of bumfuck nowhere.

These ponies had it so easy. If they were even half as numerous as Rose said they were, they could have foals with whoever they wanted, and only a tiny fraction of a them ever had to serve in the security forces. What did they have to fear? Fucking nothing.

I walked the path to Rosey’s place with a glare on my muzzle, if I had to sit in the waiting room until he was done with the day, well, I’d fucking do it. Better than talking to these ponies. The Bar wasn’t far from his place, and I hadn’t eaten anything after breakfast today, so I was starting to feel a bit better. It didn’t matter, I was fine, I had a job to do…

I pushed the door open, I guess walk-ins were a thing. No bell went off or anything like that though. Maybe these ponies just didn’t lock their doors during the day.

My head shook as I looked to the examination room. Empty. Was he done with the day? Had he left to get groceries or something? Wait. My ears spun towards the door of his bedroom. I could hear ponies saying something. So, Rosey was talking to somepony.

It took a second to trot over there, my breaths were low, buzzed me wanted to hear what they were saying. Maybe Rosey had a cute pony in there and he was chatting them up… I wonder if they’d let me join in. My mind wandered a bit as I imagined a threesome with Rose, or some other pony. Then I was at the door. I turned my head and laid an ear softly against the door. Hearing isn’t my greatest skill, it turns out blasting things open at the minimum safe distance isn’t good in the long term.

“I know, I know. She can lash out, and I knew just from looking at her that she buries feelings. Every feeling of alienation, inadequacy and guilt, it’s all pushed down deep. It’s not ever her fault, if half of what she’s told us about where she’s from is true then well… I’m surprised she’s as well adjusted as she is,” Rosey said plaintively. Yeah, he’s talking to someone’s friend, and this is pretty fucking personal- I was half a heart beat from walking away when I heard the other voice speak.

“I’m in no shape to help another pony. Not that I lack empathy for one such as yourself, healers do they best they can. But I’m no healer, I’m a scientist and a traveller at best, and a killer at worst.” Permittivity sighed as he paused.

“If you can imagine yourself in my place, what’s stopping you from trying to help her. She needs support, and you’re the only one she has any attachment to out here. And I’ve said it before Permittivity, you can empathize with her, you know what-”

“To what? Take lives, lose loved ones, to wish for an end? To attempt to hasten that end? Those things I can soldier through. It’s the moments of quiet, the embrace, those moments that normal ponies feel… I know that these things are fleeting. Every bond with another person can be broken in an instant, a stroke of chance.” His voice picked up.

“Say that all you like, but I’ve seen how you look at her. She means something to you,” Rose countered as I stood there wondering what he meant by that. “Look, I barely know either of you, but I know that at base you’re both good ponies. I’m not asking you to throw your life down, or even doing anything that you’re deeply uncomfortable with. Icepick is going through a hard time. She’s never been around ponies that weren’t like her-”

“She has no idea who birthed her, nevermind who sired her, the idea that ponies here have foals together, of their volition. It’s unsettling to her. All she knows is her society, endlessly martial, though not needlessly. I’ve seen her opponents, lived among them, if only briefly… They have something to fight for, to free themselves from under the hoof of the Rangers.”

“Maybe all of that is true, maybe everything is going to drive her to drink or worse, maybe she was already straining under the stresses of her role and what she’s seen. None of that matters, you want the best for her, you don’t want her hurting herself, or even hurting at all. I know you have feelings for her. A blind pony can see that.” I didn’t want to believe him. I wasn’t the right kind of pony for that stuff. I was Icepick, the big mare, good in a fight or a rut, but I was just that. I wanted to scream that he was messing everything up, that I was having to really think about things for the first time since I walked back from that little village along the Gilache. Or the time I was a captive-

“I know you’re afraid of attachment, but so is she. That’s why you’ve been fighting.”

“And so what if I am afraid of getting ‘attached’ to a mare I hardly know, one who oscillates between violence and intimacy,” I could hear him scoff through the door, even as I thought about what he said. My forehead pressed against the door and my eyes shut as I realized he was right. I couldn’t control myself, I had always been that way. Whatever healthy is, I’m not-

“She would do it for you.”

“I doubt that.”

“If she knew that you were in dark place-”

“Enough, I know what state she’s in, I know that she’s all too willing to throw herself upon the sword.”

“So what’s your hang-up then, you already seem committed to helping her as best you can,” Rosetta spoke up.

“I-I, I’m not sure, frankly. A part of me doubts my ability to help anyone, another thinks that it’s all a fool’s errand, that time and effort could be better spent elsewhere. But, those are excuses!” Permittivity stopped, drew a sharp breath and started again.

“I understand, I’m not oblivious to my own inner machinations,” Perm sighed and I could hear a creak from the chair. “That wasn’t an answer.”
A minute passed, then another, all the while I heard nothing but silence from the room. In one of the corners, the gearing of a clock clicked along reminding me of when I was supposed to arrive. I half expected the door to swing open and the stallions to give me some really shitty looks.
“Fine: I swear that I will render aid, and help her find peace, as much as anyone can have peace after-” Perm stopped and let out a breath. “We should greet her at the door.”
“Thank you. You won’t regret this,” Rosetta said as he pulled himself from the chair. I pulled myself away, my stomach churning at eavesdropping on my friends. In spite of that, I made my way out the door and pretended that I had just gotten to the entrance. Perm opened the door and spotted me standing behind the door.

“You got here early,” I said to him as I trotted back into the sitting area. In my peripheral vision I saw Rosetta enter from behind Perm and give me a smile when he saw me.

“I’m all manner of things,” Perm frowned for a second before shifting his eyes up to mine, “The least of which is being punctual.” He beamed as he said this. I caught the shift in his eyes and the tensing in his neck.

“Hey, now that you’re here, I’ll get the water boiling,” I watched Rosetta as he spun around and trotted into his kitchen. I stepped forward and closed the door with nudge, as Perm took and released a deep breath. He was thinking about what he promised our host-

“Are you okay, you seem tense,” I asked him when I got in front of him.
“You’re right. Sometimes, I let my accumulated burdens fill my mind. I become calm as I try to focus on what needs to be done next. He merely brought them to mind,” his eyes crossed for a moment before frowning at me. “Did you drink before coming here?”
“Perm, you don’t need to worry, once we get back to Ramsgard, things will be easy street.” He softened at that, a little.

“You’re aren’t any less of a pessimist than me, yet you sound so confident about the future,” he sighed, and the hint of a smile showed on his muzzle.

“Being buzzed helps,” he shook his head before turning towards Rosey’s kitchen.

“Typically ponies ascribe their faults to alcohol,” he brushed past me, running his shoulder against mine a little too hard for it to be accidental. “Not their merits.”

“I like to think that things will work out in the end, even if I can’t see how they will. This though, all we need to do is get to Ramsgard, and watch as the insurgency is decapitated. We’ll be heroes with just a bit more walking from A to B.”

“Statues raised in our honour?” He said to me, lips curling into a smile as he watched me.

“Yeah,” I smiled back and stepped closer. For once he wasn’t covering his body in cloth, his fur gleamed softly in the yellow light. His muzzle was right in front of mine. Perm’s warm breath brushed against my cheek-

“Will these statues be beside each other?” I watched his ear flick as he asked that, lips opening a bit, and his voice getting a little more husky. Damn the Torpedoes, there was a stallion right in front of me! I could deal with this part, I lived for this part! My foreleg lifted and rested on his shoulder. Perm looked at me, his eyes widened and his shoulder tensed… He had just opened his mouth to speak before the sound of the door opening caught both of our attentions.

“I-uh, what kinda noodles do you want? The long stringy ones, or the bendy tube kind?” Rosetta said to us halfway in the room, half out, with his ears flicked down.

“The Bendy ones,” I said to him as I let my leg fall to the ground once again.

“I-I concur,” Permittivity responded after clearing his throat.

“Alright, they’ll be done pretty soon,” Rosetta rubbed the back of his head with a hoof before cracking a smile. “The noodles, I mean.” For a moment we all exchanged glances with one another. Perm was chewing his lip, eyes moving between mine and Rosetta’s with deliberation. My eyes locked on his. What was he feeling? I turned my head to watch Rosetta step backwards out of the room.

“I don’t think you understand what you’re getting into,” he said to me.

“I think you’re making a big deal out of nothing,” I shot back.

“If only that were the case.” He looked away before sighing.

“You say shit like that, and never qualify it!” I tilted my head at him and squinted at him.

“I like being around you Icepick, we’re… Kindred spirits. However, I hesitate to commit to any sort of courtship-” I opened my mouth to speak but he cut me off. “-Say that it’s just fulfilling a sexual need and I’ll call you a liar. You’re a normal pony, it’s the odd ones that don’t feel any attachment. You’re exceptional in a lot of ways, but not in that one.” He sighed as he finished, there was a frown plastered on his muzzle.

“So,” I shot back. I stared him down and took a deep breath, my muzzle didn’t close. “It’s- I’m not angry that you won’t give me a chance. Fuck, I’m angry that you aren’t giving yourself one. Shit, I know you’re scared. Hell, I don’t even know what you ponies think a kiss means. But, I see some of these ponies, they look content, and a lot of them are with someone.”

“I’ve given myself many such tries, and each leaves me more broken than the one before. If it was their fault, if it wasn’t a self-inflicted wound then I would be all manner of happy to give us a chance. The sad truth is that I’m not built for one. I’m exceptionally good at ruining a good thing, Icepick… If I truly thought you wouldn’t be hurt in the process, I would’ve met that kiss in a heartbeat. Perhaps in time-” He pressed a hoof to my shoulder as I opened my mouth to interrupt.

“I heard you talking to him. About me. About fixing me, bringing me out of my shell. I fucking hated hearing that. Because it sounded a lot like those crazy thoughts you get when you’re tired or feeling like shit. Like the thoughts that keep me up at night- Perm, he said the same things to me, asked me to help you. All I know is, we’ve fought a lot, we’ve disagreed… You’ve made me laugh though, and fuck, it’s easier to fall asleep with you close. If that isn’t something-”

“It’s easier this way, Icepick, I left my people for a reason, more than fame or glory, recognition, or any plan for immortality, I went away because I couldn’t stand the person that I was. For now, our goals overlap. I have a purpose.
But, don’t mistake the person I seem to be for someone you would ever want to love. I’ll try to be a better pony, and you’ve already helped me a great deal-”

“Whatever. I know you think I can’t handle the outside world, that I can’t deal with your dark and troubled past-” My eyes rolled as I said that. “That I don’t know who you are. If I didn’t know who you were, I wouldn’t have trusted you. If you didn’t prove to me that you mean well, that you cared for me, I never would’ve gotten this close to you.”

“I was afraid you would say that.” Permittivity sighed. “Ponies are complicated, Icepick. I can have the seeds of love for you, I can be watered and in a temperate climate, sometimes all the factors are there and yet the produce is withered beyond recognition. Do you want the truth, Icepick? I don’t think I deserve a relationship. I don’t deserve you. I consciously destroyed the last relationships I was in. I loved them, and they loved me back. Suffice it to say that I’m less than the ideal candidate for love-”

“I don’t know the first fucking thing about what you call love,” I poked him in the shoulder with a hoof. “But if it’s what you’re talking about then they’re pretty shitty ponies to just break things off, if they really wanted to be with you.”

“I-I have my doubts about that-” The sound of a rifle shot in the distance caught our ears. Perm tensed and eyed the far corner of the room. His saddlebags were sitting there. I caught his eyes.

“No.” I stomped my hoof against the floor.

“Accidental discharge?” He asked, right before a second shot followed it.

“Fuck!”

“You heard that, right?” Rosetta said as he ran into the room.

“Icepick isn’t that deaf,” Perm said as he levitated his bag over to us, he unzipped the pockets and shook the contents onto the floor. There were solid clunks as junk hit the floor, but every useful thing was surrounded in his glacier-blue magic.

“I need to get to my armour,” I told the two of them. Permittivity nodded without looking-

“What are we going to do? What’s the plan?” Rosetta asked, breathing quickly, eyes darting from mine to Perm’s.

“They wouldn’t attack a town if they didn’t have the numbers on their side.” I yelled at him as I picked my jumpsuit off the ground and started putting it on. The sounds of a larger firefight echoed through the building.

“The radio transmitter,” I butted in. “Rosetta, can you zip a girl up?”

“That will be a tempting target, but it’s in the center of town,” Perm said in a low voice. “We can try to get a message out, if one isn’t already being sent,” he turned to face Rosetta. “What is the town contingency plan?”

“We don’t have one, why would we? Who are you talking about?”

“Some Arabian fucks, followed us across the Celestia damned desert.” This town is fucked, but if I could make it to my armour we could get away…

“How many guardsponies does this town have?” Perm was throwing his plating on, his rifle was sitting on the ground beside him.

“Not many,” Rosetta said as we heard the crackle of gunfire pick up. Someone was firing an automatic weapon now. “They’ll try to keep the sheriff’s office safe, half the town will be heading there.”

“Okay, Perm and I will head to the storage container, so I can get armoured up and-”

“No, we don’t have time. I’ll head with Rosetta to the radio station, after we’ve sent the message, we’ll head to the Sheriff's office.”

“I still don’t understand why they’re here, why would they attack us?” Rosetta shook as he asked us this.

“Because we came here,” Permittivity said to him.

“Because you’re Equestrians.” My voice lowered. Permittivity scowled at me, before looking at the floor.

“I-I…” Rosetta muttered before nodding. Perm racked his rifle and jammed his sidearm into his holster. “I’ve never fired a gun before, I’m not sure how much help I’ll be.”

“You can triage, go grab what you need as quickly as you can, I’ll be by the door,” Perm said to him before heading to the door.

I followed him, consciously taking deep breaths and holding them.

The moment we stepped into the darkened streets he turned and looked me in the eyes. “How bullet resistant is this armour?”

“That’s what you ask me, right now?” I glared at him.

“That wasn’t an answer, besides it’s best not to dwell on such things,” as he spoke we both heard more gunshots from the west, they were getting closer.

“It’ll probably stop most rifle rounds if they’re not point blank or tungsten cored. I just- we brought this on, you know?”

“We can’t change the past, and giving ourselves up wouldn’t necessarily spare the town, as you said before this is an ethnic conflict as much as it is one about us in particular-” He said before I threw my legs around him. We both stumbled back before coming to a stop.

“Yeah, yeah, justify it as much as that brain lets you. We’re both terrible ponies-” he lost some of that tension as he got into the hug. “And I know you plan on it, but really, don’t die. I’d be the only one who could give you a funeral speech and I’d throw so many expletives in it…”

“I don’t like you because you’re eloquent- and it pains me to seperate from you, but I know you’re too stubborn to die. And yes, before you ask, I would use quite a few flowery words at your graveside,” I heard the sound of Rosetta walking through the doorway.
“Good thing that isn’t going to happen-” I started to say before he pushed his lips against mine. After I got over the shock, I pushed back, and pressed my tongue against his closed lips… And it was over after what felt like no time at all. His head pulled back and I was left looking into his eyes for what felt like the first time.
“Hopefully we both live to regret that.” His words were music to my ears. I just rolled my eyes and tapped his helmet with a hoof before falling back to my hooves. I turned and looked over at my shoulder at Rosetta sprinting down to meet Perm.

“That’s the way I’ve lived my entire life,” I yelled in parting.

He shook his head, before forcing himself to grin.

Making my way down the streets I saw ponies peeking out of windows, looking at me but not making any kind of aggressive move. The Arabs seemed to have kept their assault localized to the southern and western parts of the town, which worked for me. Well, it was letting me get to my armour-
A shot rang out and hit the dirt ahead of me. I junked and ran to the nearest wall, bending down to grab my gun with my teeth, I spotted a mare wearing a hard hat and a reflective vest. She had her gun held out to her side in a halo of yellow magic, floating it like that I was surprised she was able to get that shot close to me at all.
“I’m not one of those assholes!” I shouted at her as best as I could with a gun between my teeth. She stopped for a second as after got my body around a corner of the building. “I’m a Ranger, the only thing I’m good at is killing those fucks! Besides, I’d be pretty fucking stupid to get this far all on my own?”
“How do I know you ain’t lyin’-” She mumbled something to herself before speaking again. “Okay, you’re probably right, and you’re prolly a better shot than me. I did hear something about a Mare Ranger being in town. But, where’s your stuff, all your wearin’ is that black jumper?”
“All of it’s in a storage container by the train platform,” I yelled back. “I’m heading there, if I get into it I can give the Arabs a much bloodier nose.”

“Arabs? I thought we just had some desert cult attacking us for our booze,” the mare said back to me. I holstered my gun as she kept going.

“Nope, they wear cloth and speak in a weird language. You wanna come with me, safety in numbers?”

“Yah, ya seem to know what yer doin’. I’m kinda in the dark here muhself,” she said with a sigh as she watched me trot up to her. The Chitter of Gunfire had picked up, and I was pretty sure I could make out the sound of Perm’s rifle.

“It takes all types,” I said back to her even as I screamed internally at this place. Any rational society would have sandbags, or machine-gun towers. Or at minimum some kind of concrete citadel. But no, they had nothing. They better have some better have some kind of Army, or we’ll have to come up here and protect them… I stopped for a second and thought about that for a second. I thought about what Perm had said to me when I had first come here, and my conversation with the barpony. This place had everything the we needed. We don’t know how to deal with equals-

“I’m jus’ glad we have a Ranger in town,” Axis had gotten on my flank and kept up with me as we made our way to the train depot.

“We just try our best to keep ponies safe,” I said as I shook my head and tried to stay vigilant of threats. “That’s the way I think about it. They better not hurt him though,” I said the last couple words under my breath. I heard her take a deep breath after I said that. Maybe that last fight had made my hearing even worse.

“You got your special somepony in town?” She asked giddily…

“Yes- I mean- I think so,” I shot back quickly, uncertain of the term, uncertain about him, and scared of how it could go wrong.

Axis chuckled softly after my shaky reply.

A little while later we arrived at the Container, I pushed the key in the lock and turned. She swung the door open with her magic as soon as the padlock popped open.

“Thanks,”

“No proble-” She had started to say as she cast a light spell with her horn.

When her eyes landed on my armour her expression went blank. Her mouth dropping open was a cute touch. With a flick of my hoof in the right spot and a flash of a talisman I kept on my body the armour whirred to life, the ratcheting open softly.

“I thought you was a Ranger,” her hooves shuffled loudly under her as she spoke.

“Knight Icepick of the Sall’han Steel Rangers,” I told her as I worked myself into the suit. I felt the back close around me, the helmet was sitting on a nearby crate. I hooked a forehoof on the helmet and placed it on my head. I gave it a few degrees of spin to lock it in place, the loud hiss of the overpressure system turning on felt familiar. I took a deep breath and felt normal for once.

“Uh, I- you’re not the kind of ranger that I thought-”

“Oh yeah, I’ve heard about those Desert Rangers, haven’t met one yet,” I said quickly as I went over all the pre-fight check. Ammunition, okay. Munitions, fully loaded. Armour condition, ninety-eight percent! “We’re late already, guess that makes us the Cavalry.”

They hadn’t tried to flank us, that I could see and hear. Far off I could already see the collateral damage being done to this town. Buildings burning, yells of pain and anger, and the ever loudening sound of gunfire. Those fucks looked like they were gonna raise the town. Tegarni would love that, filling the streets with corpses.

Axis was staying close to the ground, as trying to stay close to the buildings. I had asked her earlier how many magazines she had on her.
Only a spare. “If you wanna stay behind me from here on out, I won’t hold it against you,” I told her simply. We were maybe block away from the sheriff's office now.
“I’ll be close,” she replied. The smoke from the fires was being pushed our way, the wind wasn’t gonna help.
The next few moments were simple enough. I kept my pace from behind and watched for the defenders. I wasn’t sure exactly how to signal to them. I approached down the main road, and the sheriff's building was to the left. I moved down that road, keeping my head low. I was watching for the ponies that were shooting. From the corner of an adjacent building, I spotted a barricade made out of food wagons pushed together and on their side s. It was built up a couple meters to the front of the office. There were ponies peeking over it to take shots at the Arabians who were slowly pushing forward in small groups.
I decided to push around the nearest building and flank. Neither side seemed to have noticed me. Arabians could learn small unit tactics, learn to use radios, but they were never prepared to- Just before I made my way around the corner, I saw Perm in the doorway to the Sheriff’s office. At least he knew how to use concealment. A flash of an explosion near the barricade caught my attention.
Everyone closeby shuddered and writhed as the wounded began to scream and moan, while the ponies that weren’t had to try to hold back the advancing Arabs.
I tore my eyes away and ran around the back, I made it to the front of the shop before turning the corner and running smack into two Arabs. They had only just turned around a moment before, the normal sound of my armour’s servos working drowned out by the ambient gunfire. The closest one of them was clutching a large bag, the other had been taking shots at the office with an automatic weapon.

I bowled into the one with the sack, knocking him to the ground before stomping his barrel with a foreleg. His companion was stunned as I felt the pinned stallions chest collapse under the strength of my armour. The other pony turned around to aim his rifle at me, but just before he had a chance to get killed by his own bullet ricocheting off my armour a shot from behind us caught him in the chest, followed by a second piercing his skull through his left eye.

I looked over my shoulder. Axis was gripping her pistol tightly in her magic, her eyes were locked on the stallion underneath me. He was still trying to breath, his chest cavity was red with blood, and his mouth hung open more blood had forced itself up his esophagus spectling the his lips with red as well.

I stepped up and grasped the bag of with my other hoof. My eyes shot open when they saw the sheer amount of explosives that were in the bag. Plastic explosives, dynamite, an assortment of radio detonators and detonators too. Fuck, what were they planning to do? Blow the town up? Or were they starting to always have sappers come with them?

I moved forward, to the corner eyes searching for anyone that had heard those shots. My sabaton left a bloody trial in the dirt behind me. Bang! I heard another pistol shot from behind me. Axis had pushed the gun against the choking Arabs head and pulled the trigger. This mare had just killed two ponies. Her tan fur glowed like bronze in the firelight, her face was caught in a grimace. She wasn’t thinking about it right now, but she would. When you kill for the first time, you remember everything about it… The ground shook beneath me.

Straight ahead of the barricade, someone had thrown a grenade back at the Arabs. Immediately, they laid down a hail of bullets at the doorway. I made out a scream from inside the building. I turned my guns towards the nearest Arab coward in the shadows. Firing a burst at them, I swear I saw one of them piss himself in fear when he saw me. The second burst caught another of them in the chest.

From the other side of the barricade the shots crept up in their intensity, even as I moved to the other side of the alleyway, a tentative rifle shot struck the wooden beam in front of me. My shots caught him in the chest. Someone hiding in a house further back fired me. They were solid hits against the breastplate, they pinged off the lightly curved surface. I ducked back against the nearest wall. Axis yelled out when she saw me get hit.

“It’s nothing that wouldn’t buff out,” I yelled back at her. Her just flipped her ears down and shook her head. I mean, she couldn’t make out words right then, she’d just had a machine gun fired like a meter away from her, and she wasn’t wearing any ear protection. She’d get the picture. I flicked a small switch on the inside of my helmet. Axis had turned around and started watching the other corner of the building. I watched a line of tracers flow from the same building that I had fired from. I leaned out and watched them fire again.

They were in the bank. It was one of the strongest building in the whole town. Concrete and brick in all the right places. The Arabs had busted out the windows and set up a machine gun in one of them, not a prissy baby machine gun, like a single pony could carry… This was one of those belt fed heavy fucks. And it was tearing through the carts and the building itself. The counterfire was slowing down, as the casualties on our side grew. These Arabs were led by Tegarni, they had pushed the Rangers back, they were the best opponents I had ever traded fire with-

At this point we had maybe a dozen ponies left standing on the barricade and a few more guarding the wings of sheriff’s office. The Arabs outnumbered us. My thoughts were cut off by the rattle of that machine gun. It cranked out another burst of fire, blowing holes through the thick walls of the brick building. But, I knew those rounds would shred me. If I stepped out of my concealment, that gun would cut me down. My breath caught in my throat. If he turned the gun on me, I could die. The blood started pounding in my head as I tried to think of a way out of this. I was paralyzed, remembering the Arab I had chased through Ramsgard and shredded. I would feel it. I would have time to know that I was going to die. Everything was moving so quickly. after a deep breath I began to debate whether to try to move up a building to get more even with them or to wait for them to switch belts-

In the corner of my eye I spotted Perm running out of the building. His horn was glowing brightly but flickering in intensity, with a ring of steady light circling the bottom. The crack of a rifle shot and a puff of upturned dirt near his leg made me start to shake. No, no, no! He ran past the barricade and stopped in his tracks. The machine gun started turning towards him-

A blinding bolt of lightning struck the metal sign on the side of the bank. My visor polarized before I was got hit by the full brightness. I blinked as I heard the firing die down. Even I had an afterimage seared into my eyes. Fuck! I stopped my blinking and moved out of cover. Everyone else, Arab or Equestrian, had a bleary expression on their face, or a was covering their eyes or ears. I just hoped that I had primed it right!
The armour shuddered as the rocket picked up speed in the tube, blowing hot exhaust out behind me. It wasn’t a hard target to hit. I was maybe fifty meters away. Mark Forty-Seven missiles were meant to render zebra war bots and armoured vehicles inoperable. Brick was soft compared to steel, so I had to modify the impact fuse to be more sensitive-

The explosion tore the wall from its foundation; half of it collapsed right then. My eyes shifted towards the other Arabs who were peeking above their concealment. One pushed himself out of his cover and started blowing through his magazine. Another Arab behind him took the chance to run to a position further back, before aiming at us and cracking a shots off. I fired at him and missed my shots, but one of the barricade ponies got caught in his center mass.

I let loose a burst towards one of the side buildings, and another as a pony ran out of the door. They were falling back. I let out a breath that I didn’t know I was holding. Another line of machine gun fire in their general direction, another couple Arabs running with their tails between their legs. It was when I glanced back at the group that I shuddered. Perm was lying crumbled on the ground ahead of the barricade. There was a growing patch of reddened sand around him. I wanted to yell something. He couldn’t just die. If there was any kind of order or sense to the world, the stallion who had popped into my life-

The thud of an explosion made me look away. The top of the sheriff’s office was in pieces, smoke was everywhere. Most of the remaining ponies looked around startled by the explosion from nowhere. Far away I heard a low thump. Another explosive fell in the middle of the ponies. Everyone holed up behind the barricade was knocked off their hooves. Fucking mortar fire! I had to get to him, I could use a potion from my armour! I was about to run forward when I heard a gunshot from behind me.

Axis had put a round in an Arab’s chest. She yelled and threw herself to the ground as another one popped around the next building behind us. Another mortal shell exploded in the square. Fuck! Some stupid part of me wanted to charge out there… to carry his body out. No! He’d want me to live, and I want to live. I thought as I wheeled around and charged at the ponies who were trying to envelope us. My gun fired, the pony who was going after us fell to the ground. We had lost. I had failed. And every concussion that rocked the area, only made me know the truth.

I could either fight here, on their terms, the way Tegarni wanted me too. Or I could get away. Maybe Axis knew where to go. My head turned to watch her get back to her hooves. She looked scared. Upturned sand and cordite fumes had flowed over her. There was an exhausted look on her muzzle. But, I could see the hate in her eyes. That was a start. We could use that…
I motioned for her to follow. I chewed my own lip and started jogging forward. We need to get out of this town. If I could draw them out, bit by bit, make sure they were confident- Maybe.

I closed my eyes for a moment as I waited for Axis to catch up. The first warm tear fell down my muzzle-

Author's Notes:

Hey, this is the 4th anniversary of my first fimfic story being published.

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