Author's Notes:

Warning: Following this author's note we delve into complete insanity. For those of you who wish to keep your brains from leaking out any of your many orifices, please click the link below. For those bold enough to continue regardless... I'm not footing the bills.

http://pastebin.com/qN5DBMCi

"equesTria, prEsent day.

a adorable huMan awok in teh MIddle of thE! everfre forest. BEig an adorbl human, it tried to fnd a STream to look et itself and see it's aDorable face. bt when It found teh Streem, it gvaeuh hug gasP at what it saww. teh human... was no Loger A human! dun dun. dun!!!!!!!

insted, a face Covrd in a blEck cowl, wiv whit slits fr eyes starreD! back at da human. "Oh noes!" the human creid. "i'm temmie... I meen, batman! tHE hUMAN stumbled beckwords,gasping his hed withi his hands. He slouchded aginst a treee nd sobbd. Then he stod up. w"ELL, enuff ov dat," he tlod himself. "I'm batman now. I'm nt spossed to cry. I'm a batass. Ha ha ha. I maed a joke."

eTH HumAn lened against the tree, ptting his nhad to his chin sa he thught deply. So, he thoght, "i must mke a knew name fr miself, tO represnt mai new identitty." He thought fro a gud twelv minutes on the matar, bevor reachig hIs conKLOOsion. "I wil call myslv Brain, becuz i dun't hve a verry cretive mind. Brian ws veriy pleased with himshelf and so desided 2 walk to Ponyvil. He new he was in eQUESTriah becues when he strod thru the wood, a giant wolv maed of wud appeerd, roarig its intemidating roar. "Oh noes!" Brian screemd. "A ti=umblrwolf! I mst fite it!" He razed his han=ends end shot a clod ov bats at du creetcher. The Tiumblrwolf fell to it's nees as d bats clawd end peckd at it's head. Brian prepeard to launch forward to delievr a finising blow, but suddnly a mantiCORE burrst unto thee seen. It clawwed at Brian, nd he wus forced too dodje. Brian lukked up to sea teh mantiCORE charge at him,so he brased hOimself nd lept ovr duh mindless beast. Brain turnd and kiked the mantiCORE frum behind, sendig the monster topplig two da flore. It trid to get up, but Brian sprang ento D air, beFOUR landing rougly onn the mantiCORE's hed.

Brian was proud uv himslf untill he turnded arund to see teh Tiumblrwolf chompig on de ded swarmm of bATS. "hOi! brAIn scremded. "Dose R mai children, and U wont hurt tem!" Wiv a burstve sped, Brian chargd forwards, takling the beast 3 the grund. He then delevered a rag-fueled beatdown dat left the Tiumblr Wolve as a mere ipile of splintred wood.

"Wow," Brain sed to hemslef. Dat was prety improssive. 2 bed threre ws noone around to see it." He aprehpensively approached teh pile of ded bats, befor fallig to his nees. "Why!!! DeY WEre so young TOOooooOOOOOO!!!!#@!!!" he screemed. Den he flopped over and sobbbeded.

He gut ovr it qwik.

Brain choses a direktion end waked. He walkd and walkd for what seamed liek (nd probly was) ours. Finaly, he cud see sunlite peeking thru the thik bushes. Brian quivkly rushed out of th forresst ane was gretted by quit the surpris.alL AROUNd him was beaty and colour, squrururrils scitterin her and there, brds tweeting thru the aiR WiV 250 CHARActers or less, nd generally a pleasnt site to bee hold. Everyfin was adorabubble, but not es adorabubble sa teh human. En the midst ov the grotto ws a tiny cottag, Brian walkd upand nocked on the cottag door. *Nock Nock Nock!* the Sound echoed thru the whole plaCE, stalrtting sme ov de jumpier cruttres. Thdoor opned und Brian;s fcae agen turnd two Shocks as he ws greeeted wiv a smlilng pONLY. shE hed a pniK mane ade ws starrig plesantly at de cpstumed human.

"Oh noes!" Brain screemed. "I didnt went to believ it, bt... I reely em in EQUEStria! Guddammit, wrold!' He shuck his fist at duh ski and crused evy singl religious frigure ne could remenber. "Um," fluTREEshi siad, "R U dnone yet>?"

'Yes," Brian asNwERD,

"Yaya!" Fluttreeshy sed like she did thet one tiem en Sannic RainBoom. "Mai name is Fluttreshai. Whatreyou?"

"My nmae is Brian," Brian swed.

"Know, wut R yOu? Fltrutershy clarifid.

"Wut? RAciST!!! BRain exploded, screeming wiv angre. "Yur racist ed I hat you! Imma blowup yur HOME.

"No pleassir, dunt do that!" Fluttreerereshy pleeded, her I tearig up a litlte.

"OK," Brian sed. "Gey! Wil u Entroduse me too d restuv du main Srix? brAIN Askde.

"Shure," Fltgrubbasdflghoaugbershy sed, steppig outsid. "Cumwiv me."

Brin flolowwed FLattershmee to the town va Ponyville. All d ponis screemd liek children und ran arund until they hit echothre and fell ovre. Brian wassabout to explen hisself when Rainbow Dash streeked thru thd sky nd slammde into him. He didn't even fliche, bt he picked hisself up end thruy a battarag at Rinbow. She doged and landred in d stret. 'Je's! eviL! Raidbob explened. "He scrares evryoen and lookx dif. RFum dressed of us. Gtet thelements, Twilite!"

Befor Brian culd defend himslev, Celestia und Luna appeerd. "Rainblow's rite," tehy sed. "Hes a monster. My faithful strdednt, use the Rainbow fo FIENDSHIP now!!!" Brine was pOWOWerless as the Mane Six chrarged up the elements end frired. A hole sFEARe of color enveloppd Brian es he ws seeled away for a hundred yrears...

NOT!!!#%^T!^&R@!!!!!

Yez, whren thre color faded, Brain wuz NOT SEELED! Insted, very thin arund himhad bean turned to stone. Thre ponies stud liek statues, frozren for the rstuv tiem. HEHAHAhaahA~!! Brian chuckled. Iem not deffeeted. Ill never be deffeeted. Ima invisncible!" He laffed like dat 2 HISSElf fre awhil befur her lookd arund himslef et da petrifiyed. Landscape.

"Well. This is boring.""

-----

"So, what do yous think?" a furry creature asked, addressing the pony sitting across from her. "I just made that story up. I calls it 'Adventure!' Yaya! Is it good?"

The pony didn't say anything- instead it just stared on in shock. Whether its expression was in fact its reaction to the creature's story, or rather a mere fossil of its face long ago, when a shockwave of color surged across the land, no one could say for sure. After all, statues aren't well known for their speaking ability.

The creature adjusted its fuzzy legs to the uncomfortable stone bench, then took a sip of its sandy coffee through a granite straw. It glanced at the poker-faced pony sitting across from it, waiting eagerly for a reaction. Predictably, it received none.

The creature's face slowly morphed from anticipation to disappointment. "Well. This is boring."