Jade - 10th of Solarus ‘15 EoH - Noon

The past week had been a nightmare! Celestia had to be crazy to want to throw a victory celebration only a few days after the victory. Well, maybe not, but she certainly had to be crazy if she expected me to know all of the things I’d need to in order to make a good first impression on anypony important!

Thank goodness Twilight was there to help me out with some of the most intensive schooling I’d ever had, but with such a short amount of time it almost didn’t matter, it was hard to keep much of it straight. It didn’t help that Equestrian politics are only describable as Labyrinthine. A word I only know because Twilight warned me, “Okay, this will be a little Labyrinthine.”

The confusion begins when you learn that the Kingdom of Equestria isn’t a Kingdom, it’s a 'Kingdom of Kingdoms'. That is to say a bunch of smaller neighboring kingdoms, all of whom recognize the ultimate authority of the Equestrian Crown, which is a political entity held by all living Alicorns. This makes it an Empire, but apparently Celestia just docen't like using that word so it's a Kingdom. Must be nice to get to abuse language like that.

The Crown is best described as a Guild, where each member has certain duties, but also vote on courses of action which involve the Kingdom as a whole instead of just a local Duchy. A Duchy in Equestria being a proper kingdom of it’s own, with it’s own laws (that don’t conflict with laws established by the Crown), and ruled over by a Duke or Dutchess, which in Equestria are indistinguishable from a normal King or Queen, except they have to follow orders and laws established by the Crown.

Unless those orders or laws are causing undo harm to Equestrian citizens, in which case the Duke or Duchess can ignore the order or law and take the matter up with the Lunar or Solar court, which while independent from the crown are run by Celestia and Luna respectively. Which seems rather unfair until you realize it’s a way to appeal the Crown’s decision using the due process of established laws.

The Courts are allowed to make exceptions to the Crown's policy and require agreement between one of the two Royal Sisters and a small Council of Judges unique to each court. The Council can overrule one of the Sisters for a gross violation of law through a vote… Which is, in and of itself, an entirely different rabbithole.

Suffice to say that Courts work using the existing laws to determine if the Crown’s orders are legal given a particular… something. I forget.

That’s just the most basic jist of the complexity that was being forced upon me. My whole head was stuffed full of stupid rituals and expectations which were the product of four thousand years of tradition. I honestly don’t know how the hay Twilight was able to keep on top of it all!

“Hey, Jade? Are you okay?” Twilight asked snapping my attention away from the whirlpool of politics my mind had been sinking into.

“No!” I moaned, flopping down onto the table in the guest room I’d been given in the Canterlot Palace for the about to start formal victory celebration. “I’m never going to remember anything! All of your political traditions are crazy!”

“I understand it’s a bit overwhelming at first…” Twilight comforted, “But once you get the hang of it, the system works! We’ve been stable for four thousand years so far, that’s longer than any other nation. It takes a complex political machine to keep a nation working this smoothly, but it is a machine, and as a machine it can be used to get what you need out of it… It just takes time, effort, and knowledge.”

I sighed into the wood grain of the table. “Why can’t the Crown just give me some land someplace again?”

“It can.” Twilight said instantly.

“What?” I demanded head snapping up, “Then why all of this?”

“You can be granted land by the Crown, with no problems. Up to about 16 hectares,” Twilight informed, “Just enough for a small manor house and a small farming hamlet. You get it by being knighted and the land returns to the Crown after your death. That’s the only type of land the Crown can give away legally for any reason it likes, without any sort of special arrangement or legal prerequisites.

“You want to rebuild your hive, that will take more than a square half kilometer of land. Especially since legally each changeling Hive is counted an independent nation. What you are really trying to do Jade is get one nation to give territory to another nation. It’s more than just space, it’s legal authority over that area. Meaning you get the physical space, the natural resources in that space, and the people living there if any. You’re very lucky in that we have a legal process for this at all!”

I sighed, sitting back up slowly “I guess… But couldn’t you just knight me like a few hundred times and stick all of the land grant’s together?”

Twilight giggled and gave me a smile, “No… After four thousand years you would be lucky to get two contiguous plots of any of those reserved areas… Your land is going to have to come from an existing Barony. So you know, you’ll need to look posed, dignified, and well.. like a leader. You need at least one Baron or Baroness to come to your side eventually and agree to give up some of their holdings.”

“I’m going to have to make some sort of business deal with them then, aren't I?” I asked with a weary sigh.

Twilight nodded, “Definitely. They won't do it if they don't think they will get something out of it, and they won't think you can offer them anything if you don’t seem like a strong leader. Hence, you need to keep your head on your shoulders out there tonight.”

“And there is absolutely no other way than to memorize all of this chaos?” I lamented giving Twilight a pleading stare.

“Sure,” She said making my hearts swell with hope, “There’s also Bigger-Pile-of-Money-Diplomacy and Bigger-Army-Diplomacy, but unfortunately you don’t have anything to just buy land with, and you don’t have the military power to take any or get it via threats. So it’s going to have to be the normal Diplomacy, which is long, hard, and yes, confusing.”

I think that hopeful feeling turned out to be gas.

“But it’s just a singular hive! The Emerald and Ruby hives already exist within Equestria!” I protested.

Twilight nodded, doing her best to put up with my frustration. I felt a bit bad for making her deal with it as she explained the answers to me.

“True, but first of all, the Rubies have their land under tempore quo non extat memoria. They have had their hive there for longer than Equestria has existed, well, modern Equestria at least. The Crown conquered those lands about three thousand years ago, and when they did, found the Ruby Hive and agreed to leave them as an independent city state in return for a permanent alliance.

“Second, the Emeralds have land nopony wants, it’s in the badlands, you can’t grow anything there, and there is nothing of value… Aside from the fortress the Emeralds occupy which has proven to be too costly to take by force and they won’t give it up. In short, no one cared to remove them, so they got the independent city-state treatment as well.”

“Oh… I guess that makes sense.” I lamented. Then suddenly my ears perked up as I remembered another example of non-Equestrians living in Equestria!

“What about the Gaians?” I asked smugly, “They get to live here and they have only been here for eight years, right?”

“Well… That’s actually a pretty complicated and full of asterisks issue so… Let’s not get distracted.” Twilight admitted sheepishly. “In short, they are not independent. They actually went through immigration and are technically Equestrian Citizens with a town within the Crown's own lands because it’s on a wildlife preserve meaning it already has very strict laws it has to abide by to exist there. But since they can’t breathe our atmosphere, they have a special biological need that normal Equestrian law can’t provide for, so their settlement is treated like it’s own Barony under the Sapient Creature Needs Act, but it’s not really one…

“Then on top of all that, they have technically been there since before recorded history, because they were frozen. So technically tempore quo non extat memoria also applies to them, and therefore at any time they could just declare independence and we would have to let them go peacefully. But until they do, due to their settlements age, there are certain rights and privileges the law affords them...” Twilight rambled giving me a sorry grin, “See what I mean? I have all the legal books memorized and even I don’t know exactly what the Gaian Commune is in terms of the law. Heck, professional lawyers who deal with laws even more than I do as part of the Crown don’t know either!”

“Oh.” Is all I could manage to say.

“Yeah…” Twilight sighed sympathetically, “Ah yes, and before you ask, no you’re not going to be able to get lands using the Crown Colony Act. After Nightmare Moon was banished, enraged Luna supporters caused a minor civil war and attempted to secede from Equestria. They failed, and since they insisted the Crown Colony Act was what gave them the right to secede, and were technically correct, it was abolished. So no, we can’t just grab uninhabited land outside of our current borders and give it to you. Yes, even though some Crown Colonies still exist.”

“I didn’t even know those Colony things were a thing.” I admitted sheepishly, “Did you mention them before? Lessons are blurring together…”

Twilight nodded, “I did. Short refresher, Crown Colonies are basically other nations that treat the Crown the same way Baronies treat the Crown. The ones that still exist are the Crystal Empire, Eagleland, and Drake. They are more independent than Baronies, but get less from National Harmony Policies than Equestria Proper. Remember?”

It started to come back to me. Displacing formal greetings and courtly phrases as it returned. Yay…

“Yes, a little. So… the only way to do this is the hard way. Can you explain one more time, exactly what is going on today?” I asked, desperately needing the refresher.

Twilight frowned and checked a clock on the wall, “We have three minutes… Please pay close attention. I understand that you’re overwhelmed but now it’s show time, okay?”

I nodded, doing my best to compose myself. “Okay.”

“We go into the Grand Hall. You take a seat to the left of the Crown members. Celestia makes a speech informing the gathered nobles of things they largely already know but gets them all up to speed and on the same page. Then Barons with any grievances about how the battle has and or will influence the future of their lands will make their own speeches.

“After that, the nobility mingles at a sort of super formal buffet where everypony will take stock of you as a new entrant into the Equestrian political arena. That’s when you need to be on top of your game. Especially because you're the first non-hostile changeling Queen any of them will have met. That’s a big deal! Especially since you’re a proper queen and not what ponies are already calling ‘proto-queens’.” Twilight informed, again.

“Wait, I’m the first?” I asked, completely baffled, “How?”

“The Ruby’s Queen is an agoraphobe, she's never left her hive. Ever.” Twilight answered quickly as she took a second look at the clock, “The Emeralds have genetic issues and can’t produce a Queen at all.”

“But, there’s a Queen in Luna’s knights!” I protested, bringing up the changeling I had met three days ago, “What’s her name.. Uh-”

Twilight giggled, “Meep’s a Queen in biology only. Also, officially, there is no changeling member of Luna’s knights.”

What the bucking hell? I sputtered in a confused anger, “But! I… I literally was introduced-”

“Jade, calm down.” Twilight sighed, standing up and walking over to the closet to retrieve a pair of formal gowns. “While the nobility is aware that there is a changeling Queen living in Ponyville, they are also aware that she has no intention of starting a hive, and is living as a regular citizen. As far as they know, the sixth member of the Knights of the Rampant Moon is a unicorn mare named Twinkleshine… The fact that she’s a changeling is classified.”

“Then why was I even told that?” I asked, reality itself starting to fail to make any sense at all.

“Because… well…” Twilight shook her head, “Again, I personally disagree with the idea, but Celestia and Luna want to foster an open book relationship with you and your hive in terms of international relations. Cadance agreed with them, so the Crown's decision stands… The idea is to be completely transparent to you because they think you’re a reincarnated Clover the Clever.”

“Am I?” I asked curiously, thankful for a non-politics topic, “I mean, I am descended from her, and I can sometimes remember things she knew-”

“You’re not.” Twilight said waving a hoof dismissively, “Trust me. I invented the method to actually prove whether a consciousness is reincarnated or not. While I did prove that reincarnation is a real phenomenon, you have none of the signs… But Celestia and Luna are old, take a while to accept changes, and well, Clover was one of their greatest friends for a very long time… So, they sort of want you to be her.”

I let out a relieved sigh. “Oh thank the sun! I don’t have to try to live up to her reputation.”

The sheer amount of things credited to Clover in Equestrian history books was staggering. And I’d only had an afternoon's worth of reading on that topic so far!

Twilight giggled, “That would be pretty hard. Seeing as how many scholars argue there wouldn’t be an Equestria without her.”

“Hold on a minute,” I said as slow realization began to dawn on me, “if they think I’m Clover, why not try to make my hive a part of Equestria? I wouldn’t mind that at all… Why this whole, own nation thing?”

Twilight gave me a smile, “If only everypony were logical thinkers… There’s no conspiracy there, it’s just that we would need to change laws to do that, and we can't because they are international ones. Changeling hives are internationally regarded as Sovereign Territories. Get it?”

I put on my best pouty face, “But… It’s going to be so much work to do all of this!”

“Well, yes,” Twilight agreed, “but it’s still a hoop we need to jump through to make sure your hive does not go extinct… You’re also, you know, the first of your species in four thousand years to not be a proto-queen! Anyways, tomorrow, would you mind helping me try to read Clover’s Spellbook? There are a few spells which scramble vital components of the pages, and the thing is so heavily warded that I’d rather see if you have any memory of the ways around the protections before stripping them away or forcing them open myself.”

“Oh. Sure, I can do that.” I agreed.

“Good! The sooner I can see how that terraforming spell works, the sooner I can see if it could help tame the Everfree.” Twilight said mostly to herself.

The next few minutes were a jumbled mess of last minute tips on posture, pronunciation, and all manner of formalities, as Twilight helped me into a simple black dress. It wasn’t fancy, but apparently a more sleek look would ‘promote an image of power and grace’ according to Rarity, who I believed was Twilight’s seamstress.

Once the dress was correctly on, and making me actively hate the concept of clothing due to it feeling super weird against literally every part of me it covered, Twilight began to lead me to the hall where the speech would be held.

Half way down the marble walled, red carpeted hallway, Twilight suddenly asked. “You haven’t known me long, but can you link to me telepathically?”

I gently reached out, finding’ Twilight’s mind was detectable, but not yet a thing I could link to. “No, why?”

“Would you mind if I used a spell to link us for a few hours? So I can silently answer questions you have?” Twilight asked.

“Why the buck are you even asking?” I demanded, eye twitching slightly, “That would only be massively helpful!”

Twilight gave me a weak grin, “I just now thought about it… Also mind your language, most Barons see cursing as a lower class thing.

Twilight’s horn glowed simply for a few moments, then I slowly felt her link to my mind. Very crudely. Much like the first link a Nymph will make.

<This is pretty crude… can you even hear me?> I asked silently as we neared the doors.

<Yes. I also can see what you see.> Twilight replied. <But not well… What makes this a crude link?>

<I can explain later… This feels like talking to a very young Nymph… It’s weird because I know you're an adult…> I said shuddering a little, <It’s kinda creepy…>

<I can cut the link if you want.> Twilight offered apologetically as she opened the doors to the hall.

Two golden armored guards on either side of the doors inside the hall looked at us as we passed.

<No! I’ll want to ask questions. But we should improve your spell! Are you even seeing what I am in color?>

<Wait, you can transmit color images?> Twilight asked in surprise.

<Uh… yeah. We can go over this lat->

“Announcing her Highnesses, Princess Twilight Sparkle and Queen Jade of Diamonds!” One of the two guards shouted as we stepped into the huge room.

It truly was a huge room. It was like one massive upside down acorn, with big columns supporting the huge pointy domed roof. The entire room was in the same white marble and gold inlay theme as the rest of the palace, but this room’s floors were a herringbone pattern made of light and dark wood. The floors were covered in benches, stacked on sloping platforms so every seat could see over the one in front of it, with a stage containing some chairs and four thrones positioned in front of a huge tapestry of the Equestrian flag.

It looked like a giant meeting hall, only super fancy.

It also completely full! There were at least a hundred people packed into the bench seating. There were ponies of all tribes, unicorn, earth, pegasus, bat. There were three Drakes that I could see. There were a few Sphynx, and-

I felt my hearts skip a beat.

<Griffons!> I yelped fearfully, fortunately through the link and not vocally.

<Uh yeah, Barron Brightwings, current ruler of the Barony of Griffonstone and his entourage.> Twilight informed. <Why are you affra- Oh! I’m so sorry! I forgot about… I should have prepared you!>

<Yes!> I agreed, hearts pounding, <You should have!>

We slowly made our way to the stage-like portion, Twilight sitting on the throne matching her colors, and myself in an empty chair next to a large earth pony stallion, and a pale minty white pegasus mare.

I’d had just enough time to realize the griffon wasn’t paying me any attention and start to calm down when Twilight started talking to me again.

<Okay,> she said, <See the black scaled Drake in the back? He has the small curved horns and the orange wing membranes?>

I looked out over the crowd, spying a calculating looking Drake of that description in the front row almost instantly. I’d never heard of his species before arriving in Equestria. Apparently they were the same species as Dragons, which could mature into one of two things depending on if they could amass a large enough hoard or not.

<Yes.> I answered.

<That’s Duke Gru.> Twilight informed helpfully, <He rules the Duchy of Dressage, most notable for having Los Pegasus in it. You can basically ignore him. He was adopted, and the current nobles look down on that. He has a reputation as a hard flank, because he’s worked very hard to never appear weak to compensate for his circumstances of birth.>

<So he won't ever give up any land.> I stated.

<Yep.> Twilight answered. <Now a good candidate, is the light peach mare with the faded sky blue mane. She’s in the back row. Unicorn. A few flaming sparks for a cutiemark. Do you see her?>

I looked for a few seconds before spotting the mare in question. She was busily writing something on a scroll draped over a few books. She has a sort of uncaring look to her, as if the world around her was just a play.

<I see her, who's she?> I asked.

<Duchess Little Light,> Twilight answered, <She’s in charge of the Duchy of Hayloft, which is very rich since Manehattan is it’s capitol. She can afford to give up some land and is generally very pro-refugee.>

<That sounds like a good place to start then!> I said excitedly.

Twilight started to reply, but her thoughts were cut off as Celestia stood from her throne and with a quick spell, conjured a ball of golden light at the tip of her horn. After a few seconds of the bright golden light shining on stage, everypony in the audience quieted down and turned attentively if not enthusiastically to face the stage.

Celestia paused for a few more moments, dismissed her light orb, and then began to speak, “The Crown hereby officially addresses the gathered Rulers of the Kingdom of Equestria. Be it known that upon the fifth day of Solarus in this, the fifteenth year of the Era of Harmony and the five thousand one hundred and ninety third year of recorded history, the Kingdom of Equestria has defeated the last remaining Changeling Swarm in pitched combat, and slain the last of the Old Queens.

“Due to these events, the Changeling Crusades can at last be marked as a closed chapter in history. While in recent times our nation has only faced a single minor incursion by a changeling swarm due to the modern Hives being most Harmonious, earlier Crusades were a dark chapter in our nation’s history. Should Chrysalis’s Swarm been allowed to continue existing within our world, the present generation of Equestrians would have come to know the terror experienced by their ancestors on a monthly basis.

“This is a great victory for Equestria, it is not often we get to put the past truly to bed. With the danger to Equestria now fully behind us, a time of celebration is in order. Most importantly, we must also seek to change our nation’s policies on Changelings as a whole. There is no longer a risk of their kind being controlled by an ancient and evil force, and so the Crown will revisit restrictive rulings placed upon them with the intent to ensure our Changeling citizens have the same rights and privileges as any other species, as there is no longer a justifiable reason to restrict them in any way they have been throughout the Baronies.

“Additionally, pending a vote by the Barons of the Kingdom, the Crown would like to invite surviving hives to relocate and join our Kingdom, as changelings are quite the labor force and now far safer to deal with. As a show of good faith to the changeling species, the Crown has agreed to provide Queen Jade of Diamonds with all due assistance in restoring her hive to a working state in thanks for her assistance in Chrysalis’s demise.

“The Crown will now open the floor for statements by General Luna Solarus, the commanding officer in charge of the military operations in question.”

Celestia sat down as Luna rose. She walked to the edge of the stage and paused for a moment, clearly looking for words to use before eventually settling on blunt ones.

“Our soldiers fought well. Many gave their lives for our Kingdom’s safety, a tragedy which will be remembered for generations. Our official count lists eighty four thousand five hundred and three dead. All wounded troops have been healed to their fullest possibly state, and there was no desertion. However, there were many more casualties than the aforementioned eighty four thousand, but these were of other nations. Our thanks must be given to the nations of Zebrica, Prance, Neighpone, and Marealand.

“We can confirm the enemy's losses at ninety-nine point nine-two percent of their starting forces. The remaining twentyfour hundred changelings are currently being held prisoner at various installations… It’s of military note that they have not died as Swarm members normally do, but are slowly regaining individuality. It may become an issue for the law if they fully recover, as well as a matter of National Security.”

My eyes opened wide as Luna told everyone about the survivors. Nopony had said anything about them to me before now! They were mind slaved, that meant they hadn’t done any real crime! Someone had to do something… Maybe I could get Luna to free them she was nice after all.

“With the military operation over,” Luna continued, “I have released all of the wartime forces back to their homes. However, due to the aforementioned survivors I hereby order all military forces providing Barons and Baronesses to keep their troops in combat readyness until given further orders.

“The General now returns the floor to the Crown.”

Celestia nodded and stood up to announce, “The floor is now open to any Ruler who wishes to speak on this matter before the Kingdom.” Then sat back down.

After a few moments of silence during which everyone in the audience eyed one another, searching for any sign of anyone who might speak, Duke Gru stood up and walked onto the stage.

His talons clicked on the wooden floor as he walked, keeping a powerful and renowned air in his every movement as he took the stage. He began to speak, voice, low, rumbling, and honestly very intimidating.

“I, Duke Gru Ebony, Ruler of the Duchy of Dressage, would speak on this matter.” He began.

He took a moment to stare the audience down then continued, “While it is always good to remove a threat to our Kingdom, I have to wonder about the nature of this attack. As we are all aware, our military mobilized after the Crown received intelligence on the pending entrance of the Swarm into our territory. This would be all fine and good, but the only reason the Swarm headed our way at all when it did, was Queen Jade.

“While her actions were not malicious, and she did not intend to inflict the Swarm upon Equestria, she none the less could have chosen any other place to flee to. This puts the loss of many young Equestrians partially upon her head. I say this not to simply cast blame, for I happen to know she is a young ruler and thus quite inexperienced, but to question the actions of the Crown in handling this matter.

“As the Swarm sought Queen Jade, were the Crown to have assisted her in hiding for a time, perhaps a period of months, a more potent force could have been mustered, with more international assistance. For instance, Drake and Eageland could have mobilized their militaries to render assistance, actions which would greatly have reduced the death toll for all involved.

“A death toll which weighs more heavily upon my Barony than any other. Roughly a third of all casualties were my people. This battle has cost Dressage greatly. The economic impact of losing twenty seven thousand ponies, griffons, and Drakes has not yet been calculated, but it will be more than noticeable, I assure you.

“It is my official opinion that the Crowns personal history with Changeling Swarms resulted in their hasty action. This, combined with poor tactical planning on General Luna’s part has cost our nation a great deal. I will take this opportunity to recommend the Crown remove the General from command until she has caught up on the last thousand years of strategic and tactical developments. I wish my fellow Rulers felt the same as I on this issue and our armies have a truly excellent leader at their helm before another tragedy comes upon us.

“While this is a day of victory, I will be departing before the festivities. I find it in poor taste to be celebrating this soon after the deaths of so many. I bid all of my peers a good day.”

With that, Barron Gru turned walked off the stage, and left the room on the spot. The stunned look he left on everypony’s face was the last interesting thing to happen for the entire event…

I spent the rest of the 40 speeches thinking about my future. Unfortunately, I couldn’t really decide on anything. I needed to know what land I would have to work with to think of how to actually build a hive. I needed to know who might work with me to think of what business arrangements I could make to support it…

I just needed more information, which meant sitting through more stuff like this apparently... I did however come to one meaningful conclusion.

I. Bucking. Hate. Politics!