Derpy pulled out the batch of muffins she had been preparing. Catching the scent Tumor wandered back into the kitchen. He had been looking around the house after he and Derpy had spoken, they were talking about random stuff, mostly things about their worlds so they could better understand each other. Despite his language and weird sense of humor she was actually starting to like him.

Derpy pulled the muffins from the tray and handed one to him. "So where do you plan on staying while you're here?"

"You say that like I'm gonna be leaving soon. I don't even know how I fucking got here." he replied

"Oh. Well do you remember what happened before you got here?"

He took a bite of the muffin before leaning back in his chair. "Well, if I remember correctly I was actually in the middle of a war."

"A war?" She asked with a slightly uncomfortable expression donning her face.

"It's a long story so I'll summarize. Is that okay?"

She nodded, slightly eager to hear more about the place where had come from.

"Well there was this whole epidemic after an explosion, some giant monster showed up and got his ass beat by a very strong conduit. That conduit then used the powers he got from that thing to emit ray field energy. It killed all of the humans, but those with a special gene were able to not just survive it, but were given powers. Eventually all that was left were powered up conduits." He stopped to make sure she was still following. Her nod confirmed that she was so he continued. "Anyway, there were a number of pricks who thought that because they were stronger than some of the others that they could make everyone else their bitch and work for them. These bastards put together an army and started killing anyone who wouldn't follow this new fucked up world order. So the weaker conduits banned together and created an army of their own. They've been fighting ever since."

She stared at him in amazement, if the summary was that interesting she could only imagine what the full story would be like. "So...what side were you on?"

"I joined up with the guys who weren't complete assholes. The Syndicate, the guys trying to make everyone their slaves, called us the rebellion. However the leaders liked the name 'The Resistance' better."

"So, you were working with the good guys?" She asked.

"If you ask me, when it comes to war their is none of that whole 'good guy, bad guy' bullshit. It's all just morals and where you stand on them. But yes, if that makes it easier on you, I worked for the good guys." He explained.

"So you're not a very powerful conduit." She said, assuming his placement under the circumstances. "That actually explains why you talk the way you do. Like somepony who's been beaten down and picked on and just tried to put up some sort of self defense to all of the hate."

He stopped her with a muffin to her muzzle. "Wrong, I am actually one of the strongest. And what the fuck do you mean by all that shit?"

Her eyes widened as she tried to defend herself, but was once again cut off.

"I'm not an asshole because I'm weak, this isn't a means of emotional defense I was just born this way. Dick..."

She was upset that she had offended him, but she didn't know any better. She finally managed to pull the muffin out of her muzzle so she could speak. "I'm sorry, I was just going off of what I had hear. I didn't mean to-"

"Don't worry about it, I know. I'm just fucking with you." He said with a laugh.

She was about to go on the offensive, but was once again interrupted. This time by the front door being opened. A yellowish mare with an orange mane entered carrying a paper bag on her back. "Derpy, I'm home."

Derpy launched out of her chair to meet the mare. "Hi Carrot Top. You've been gone for a while, what took you?"

She sighed but still held a smile. "Some jerk at the store kept going on about that explosion and how its the end of the world and what not. I tell you, some ponies are just plain crazy." She walked into the kitchen but stopped dead in her tracks when she saw something sitting at the kitchen table. She waved at him and he waved back. "Uh, Derpy? Who's your friend?"

She let out a nervous laugh. "Um, Carrot Top, meet Tumor. Tumor, Carrot top."

"Tumor?" She asked

He didn't see any better time to cut in, so he assumed that now would be perfect. "I grow on you like fungus, but spread like cancer." She shot him a dirty look. "Don't worry, spend enough time with me and you'll a tumor in your brain the size of my fucking fist."

Derpy jumped in between them thinking that a fight was about to break out. "As you can see, he has a very colorful vocabulary and we are working on fixing that."

"We are?" He asked, causing Derpy's ears to drop.

"Well you might wanna work a little harder before he gets himself into trouble with the wrong pony." She walked over to the cabinets to put away the groceries in her bag.

With the flick of his wrist every cabinet and drawer in the room flung open, nearly giving the two ponies a heart attack. "Damn, I wonder how that happened."

Derpy ran in front of Carrot Top as she turned around and got ready to charge. "You did that! I know you did!"

"what are you talking about, I've been over here the whole fucking time. You need to get your head checked, I think you've gone mental."

Carrot Top struggled against Derpy's grip, trying to break free and attack Tumor. "Carrot Top, please calm down."

"I will not!"

"You see that hostility? That's a sign of a lot of pent up rage. That rage can come from numerous things, one of the most common is sexual frustration. When's the last the last time you've had a good mounting?" He merely laughed as his words made her rage explode.

"Tumor!" Depy called. "Please go outside."

He nodded and walked out of the front door.

Derpy let go of her friend when she started to calm down. "Are you okay?"

"No, I'm not! First you let that thing into our home and then he disrespects me and starts talking about my sex life! It's none of his business and he should have a lot more respect that, especially when he's been welcomed into a place that isn't his." She explained, her anger still flowing through her. "What even is he?"

"I know, I'm sorry for his behavior."

"Don't apologize for him being a...bully!" She was on the verge of swearing, but was heavily against it.

"Carrot, he's not from here. He's from an awful place. He was in the middle of a war before he came here." She explained. "He's been through some a lot of trauma before he came here, not to mention that he was in the middle of that explosion."

She stared at Derpy, wondering why she was trying so hard to defend him. "Derpy, if he's making you say these things, if he's-"

"He isn't making me do anything. I didn't like him much at first either, but we've been talking for a while and I think that all he needs right now is a friend."

Carrot Top was very hesitant and she wasn't completely convinced. "Bring him back in here. I wanna know just what kind of trauma he's been through."

Derpy nodded and goes outside, grabbing Tumor and escorting him into the living room where he took a seat on the couch. "Carrot Top, he's ready."

"Ready for what? Is she gonna rape me? Is this bitch about to go ham on my otherworldly genitals?"

Carrot Top took a deep breath to keep herself calm and walked into the living room, taking a seat in an arm chair directly across from them. "Tumor. Why were you in the Everfree Forest and why were you in the center of that explosion?"

"I was jerking off to wild animals and held back for too long."

Derpy reprimanded him before Carrot Top could retort. "Tumor, please. Take this seriously. I don't want Carrot upset again."

"Serious...SERIOUS!? You want me to be serious, I'll get fucking serious." He sat up straight, causing the two ponies to lean back, unsure of what was going to happen. "Let's jump back to just a few hours. I was in the middle of a god damn war. I was out killing people like me because they were power crazy nut-jobs who wanted to rule the world. I had this friend, David. I saw him being pinned down so I sparked the crazy fucks and watched them burn to save him. Next thing I knew something was sucking the life out of me. My friend was shot in the skull and then I was." He looked at their expression, a mix of fear, sadness, and uncertainty filled them. "After that my body did something. Some kind last stand thing, I don't fucking know. But I became surrounded by my own energy and watched as it ate everything and everyone within fifteen miles of me. Next thing I know I'm in a hole where this cock-eyed mother fucker found me." He finished his story and pointed at Derpy.

Carrot Top looked at Derpy who was smiling nervously, unsure of what to feel. This thing had just insulted both her and her best friend, but part of her felt sorry for him. He had seen three powerful hardships all at once. War, the death of a friend, and his own death. Now he was in a place that he didn't understand and for all she knows all creatures in his world may act like him. She placed a hoof to her head and tried to think. "Tumor..I am sorry for being mad at you earlier..." She hated apologizing for a necessary reaction, but she was too lost in thought to come up with anything else.

"Don't be, I'm an asshole and everyone knows that. I make it a point for them to figure it out the moment I meet them."

"Uh...why? Why wouldn't you just be nice? You'd probably have a lot more luck with ponies and making friends if you were."

"Do I look like a nice fucking person? I just told you that I was forced to kill people like me, people who were supposed to be my god damn family. The only things I've ever been is a growing tumor in peoples sides, and like a tumor I destroy them. I have no room for being nice."

Carrot Top wore an odd smile. "Well, you're not gonna have to kill anyone now. You, my friend, are in a entirely different world." She looked at Derpy, still holding her smile. "I have an idea."

Derpy blinked a few times, confused. "What is it?"

"Who all knows he's here?"

"No pony."

"Good." She looked back at Tumor. "Seeing how you will no longer need to be a destructive killing machine, go ahead and drop all of those. We are going to assimilate you into pony culture."

He suddenly seemed angry. "Sorry, bitch. I don't change my views for shit."

She held up a hoof. "You don't need to change your views, those are yours to keep. However, if you are to make it in this world, you can't be going around swearing all the time and disrespecting everypony you meet. So what do you say?"

"Fuck you."

"Then it's a deal. We will teach you how to a decent civilian and I will even allow you to stay with us." She said, still wearing her smile.

Derpy smiled as well. "He can stay?"

"Yes, but he needs to stay in the basement."

"I said I'm not changing!" He yelled.

"And I'm saying you don't have a choice. So deal with it."

"I could kill you..."

"If you really wanted to then you'd have done it by now. With that she got up and exited the room.

Tumor sat still, looking to Derpy then into blank space. "What the actual fuck? What just happened!?"