It was a typical day in Ponyville. The birds were singing and everypony was going about their day normally, everything from running their shops or going out to do some shopping, taking fillys and colts to school and what not. The whole town came to a grinding halt at the sound of a large explosion. They all turned their attention to the Everfree Forest, where it seemed to be coming from. The whole town was in shock from what they saw. A large red sphere of energy could be seen somewhere not too far in, it seemed to be pulsing and growing with every passing second. The explosion itself was very similar to a ray sphere blast, expanding and consuming everything it touched. The giant ball of energy suddenly imploded and it vanished just as quickly as it had appeared, leaving a giant cloud of smoke in its departure. The ponies seemed too afraid to even move, except for one brave pegasus who just so happened to be doing her rounds with delivering the mail.

Ditzy Doo was just as scared as the rest of the town but found that her curiosity was growing much faster than any fear that was holding her. She flew over to the Everfree, staying as high above the trees as she could. She was taken back by the damage the blast had done on the forest. Near the edge of where it was trees had been uprooted just from the force of it and the further she went towards it center the number of trees dropped drastically until their weren't any left. She cautiously lowered herself into the large crater it had made in its wake. The area was filled with smoke and she could hear a sound growing louder as she walked deeper into the carnage. It sounded like water on a hot pan, sizzling as it something was burning in the center. She soon came across a very odd form laying face down in the dirt. She almost didn't see it because of how thick the smoke was, but when she spotted it she started flapping her wings to clear away some of the clouds that blocked her vision.

It was odd, to say the least. It certainly didn't look like any pony that she had ever seen before. She reached out to poke it, but stopped when she heard the unmistakable growling of a timber wolf. Ditzy's ears fell flat and her eyes widened, the beast was coming up from behind her. She quickly shot into the air, taking flight to avoid the dangerous creature lurking from with. She then felt something, a small force that shoved her further into the air. She stopped and hovered in the air, looking back down just in time to see the body on the ground give off another surge of energy, almost as it it were some kind of pulse shooting out from it.

The wolf took its attention off of the flying pegasus and walked over to the free meal laying in the dead center of its wrecked home. The closer it got the weaker it felt. It felt as though it energy was being sapped out of its body, but paid little attention to it. When the wolf was only inches away from the body it reached out and grabbed onto its wooden leg. Ditzy could do nothing but watch in horror as this creature was about to be devoured by one of the predators of the Everfree. The wolf attempted to pull its paw from the small creatures grip, but to no avail. It pulled harder, then harder, but still couldn't break free. Just as it was about to attack another pulse went through the air. At that moment, the wolf could feel everything being pulled out of it all at once. It's energy, its magic, its very life. It shook violently before going completely still and falling over, breaking into dozens of tiny wooden splinters.

Tumor suddenly awoke, feeling revitalized. He pulled himself up and coughed from the smoke filling his lungs. "Jesus fuck..." He coughed more and slowly got to his feet and took in his surroundings. "Well, that was new." He cleared his throat and looked himself over before stretching his limbs, popping them in numerous places. "And from the looks of it I'm obviously alright...but where the hell am I?"

He suddenly heard the sound of large wings coming closer to him. Turning slowly he saw a grey pegasus with a yellow mane enter his vision carrying a saddlebag full of mail. "Um, hello?"

He stared at the small pony with his mouth slightly open. "It finally happened, I've cracked and lost my god damn mind..."

Ditzy stared at him in confusion. She suddenly remembered something her friend Lyra had brought up about these odd creatures called humans that seemed to fit this guys profile perfectly. "Excuse me, but are you a human?"

"Are you a talking horse?" He asked in turn.

"Y-yes..." she answered, slightly confused. "I'm actually a pony."

"Same difference." She glared at him, seeming to have taken slight offense to his words. "Anyway, yes. I am as human as they come...mostly."

She tilted her head. "What do you mean mostly."

"That's none of your damn business." He looked closer at her noticing that one of her eyes were looking directly at him, while the other seemed to be looking up. He snorted and covered his mouth, doing everything in his power not to laugh.

"Are you okay, Mister human?" She asked, thinking that he was hurt and ignoring the small outburst.

"Yeah, I'm f-fine. Its just the smoke." She nodded. "That and I can't tell if your trying to look my in the eye or the head." He cackled a bit.

Ditzy suddenly wore a very annoyed expression. She had been made fun of before and had grown used to it enough to not snap on him. It didn't really upset her as much, just got on her nerves.

"I'm just teasing you, sweetheart. What's your name?" He asked, sliding his hands into his pocket.

She still seemed upset, but she answered him regardless. "My name is Ditzy Doo, but my friends call me Derpy Hooves on account of how clumsy I am."

It was becoming very difficult not to bust his gut laughing. He took a deep, DEEP breath to keep himself collected, but before he could say anything she piped up again.

"Sir, we really shouldn't be here, it's very dangerous." She said, concern washing over her features as she spoke.

"Well then, lead the way." He e said, waiting for her to take the lead.

They got out several minutes later with virtually zero problems. The blast had scared off most of the creature dwelling within and destroyed those who were too close. He looked around at this new world in awe, it was bright, colorful, and it felt so...alive. He could feel a strange new energy being pulled into his body with every second. His body naturally drained energy from the air around him, but this was something new. He had never felt anything like it before. It was warm and it felt much more, well, alive. As if this world was a living thing and he could feel it making him stronger.

"So, where are we?" He asked, his curiosity forced him to ask. He was in a world where their were clearly talking pegasi with jumbled eyes.

"We're just outside of Ponyville right now." She answered.

"Uh-huh. Now would you mind telling me what this land is?" He pressed.

"Oh, sorry. You're in Equestria." She said plainly.

"Uh-huh..." He replied, sounding slightly agitated.

"Is something wrong?"

"Oh no, it's just I've landed in a place that I didn't even know existed and i would really appreciate some god damn details woman! Fuck!"

She jumped slightly from his sudden yelling. "Sorry." She said, slightly annoyed. "Equestria is a large land populated mostly by ponies. There are three primary races. Earth ponies who are in-tuned with the earth, pegasi who can fly and control the weather, and unicorns who can use magic."

"Magic?" He said to himself, wondering if maybe that was the new energy he was feeling around him.

"Yep, magic is all around us. It helps us and could be used in may different ways." She was about to continue, but her saddlebag slipped under one of her hooves, causing her tumble over and fall into the grass. She could hear him chuckling behind her and she felt slightly embarrassed. She tried to get up but found that the strap of her saddlebag had tangled her up.

He figured he may as well give her a hand. Walking over Tumor grabbed the strap and started pulling it over and around her hooves, releasing her from her small leather prison.

"Thanks." She said standing up. Then she realized that she no idea what to call him. "Oh, I nearly forgot to ask you your name."

"Well, I don't know you well enough to tell you that just yet, but my friends call me Tumor." He watched as Derpy scrunched her face and almost started laughing again.

She let her features go back to their normal position be fore continuing the conversation. "That's...a really odd name."

"Says you, Derpy." He watched her expression change to annoyance again. "Look your nickname tells everyone you clumsy, mine tells everyone that I'm like a tumor."

"How are you like a tumor?"

"Well, let's see; I'm annoying, obnoxious, and a total pain to have around. And after having me for a while I start to grow on you." He could see her face become slightly disturbed. "Hey, they put more though into my nickname than anyone else in my squad. They usually just came up with something that went with how strong you were. My friend David was called Rhino because he could crash through people and even walls with little to no effort."

Derpy just stared at him, unsure of how to feel about any of this. "You're very weird, Mr. Tumor."

"I've noticed. Also it's just Tumor, not Mister." He corrected.

"Okay, well then, Tumor, how about you tell me a bit about where your from. We can go talk at my house, I can even make muffins." She said with delight.

"I'm down for anything as long as it doesn't kill me. Last time that happened I destroyed your forest." He remarked following her to a house on the outskirts of a small town just up ahead. The outside was decorated with bright colors and topped off with a roof made of hay and a garden in the backyard. He looked every which way as he entered the house. Derpy offered for him to take a seat and he obliged. As he sat he looked all around the kitchen and eventually his eyes rested on Derpy's flank. "Nice tattoo, it looks like something a three year old would get."

She turned around and followed his gaze. "Oh that's my cutie mark."

"Cutie-what now?" He asked, raising a brow at her.

"Cutie mark. They are little images that appear on a ponies flank when they discover what their special talent is." She explained.

"So, what? Do you horde bubbles in your ass?"

She sighed. "Mine come from my bubbly personality."

"You don't seem so bubbly to me."

"Well perhaps that's because somepony keeps making rude remarks and ruining it."

He sat in silence for a moment. "That's me, right?"

Derpy shot him a look that said 'really?'

"So do I win? Can I get a cookie?"

Now she was just plain confused. "A cookie? What?"

"Do you really not know what cookies are?" He asked, slightly surprised.

"No, I know what a cookie is, but why-" He cut her off before she could finish.

"Okay, good. For a second there I though I was gonna have to drown you in cookie dough."

For the first time something he said actually made her giggle. "As yummy as that sounds, I'll have to pass."

"..."

"What?"

"And I'm the weird one?"