Alright asshats, line up!
Um...why?
Cause we've got questions to answer.
People actually took that shit seriously?
Uh, yeah! That was kind of our aim, jackass...heh heh, I just realized that.
Fuck you...
I think we're all ready now, so can we just start?
Yes, yes we can. Now, I'll be reading these off by the order in which we received them and we'l go from there. *Clears Throat* h...
...Hey, dickhead! Aren't you supposed to be reading the questions now?
I...don't know...how one would even begin to...pronounce this
Wow, that name is...definitely unique?
Yeah, we'll go with that...So hs0003 asked the triplets "On a scale from black powder to Tzar Bomba, how much destruction can the 3 of you cause if you worked together?"
My element is lethal, however it is mostly limited to my movements and would not level any sort of structure. Rather, it would cause any to inhale it to asphyxiate
...quite the vocabulary you got there...Anyway, although Snoop Dog's best friend over there can't do shit on a level of catastrophic destruction, Jack and I are more than capable of just that.
This is where Tumor is better than me in something, pretty much the only thing he can beat me in.
Fuck you!
I can only absorb so much fire and when used properly I can burn down damn near anything. But I gotta walk across the fuckin map for that shit.
I, on the other hand, can give off an explosion that would put the Tzar Bomba to shame.
If it wasn't for the massive amount of burning everything, I wouldn't have survived. That shit was intense.
Good thing we did it out in the boonies, that could have killed a lot of people.
It did kill a lot of people, you took out half of Mexico!
Like I said, the boonies. No one was there.
...You're a dick!
I got it from you, darling.
Anyway! The next question, well technically set of questions, comes from GameAssassin.
I like that guy, gives a lot of positive feedback. Plus, he's been reading this story since I first came out with it. He was one of the originals!
That's sweet, you wanna give him a kiss?
Hey, fuck-stick, my tongue is long enough to reach down your fucking throat. So how about I give you a kiss an see how long it takes for you to turn blue?
Don't threaten me with a good time.
Guys, please! Sheesh, it's like you can't breathe unless you're arguing. His first question goes to...oh, me! He asked "why have you taken to jakes clown religion when you worship the ground celestia walks apon?"
My name is Jack, you fucking-
I swear, if you insult this one...
...
Okay, back to the question. Well, Game, in all honesty I really haven't. I think that his beliefs are interesting and I respect his right to choose what he believes in and I'm also willing to partake in some of the rituals, but I am not what you would call a firm believer in the whole Dark Carnival thing.
It's a sad fact, but fuck it, she's still willing to paint-up and drink Faygo with me. It's still a party!
Next question: This one goes out to Tumor. "When the-" Okay! Let's just skip that little piece there. "When are you gonna wise up and make up with carrot you dumb *MHMM*??? Gonna mooch off the book hound and the religious clown brother for the rest of eternity???
You motherfucker, I outta come out there and beat your fucking ass!
Really, I think you should make up with her. I mean, I don't mind you staying in the castle, Celestia knows that there is plenty of room, but nopony wants to lose a friend.
Fuck you! That bitch was-
Buddy, I don't blame you for being a bit moody. If I had some girl telling me what to do constantly, I'd probably snap too. I don't tolerate it when people try to control me, because I am my own person. You're the same way, so I understand where you're coming from. However, if you man up and apologize she might just apologize back and give you some more freedom.
...
I think he needs a brake.
Yeah, get your fat ass out of here and chill out.
*Leaves*
Is he going to be okay?
He'll be fine. I know, I made him.
Alright then. Game's next question is for Jack.
Great fucking Milenko, it's about goddamn time!
He asked, "WHY A HOG AND NOT A-
FUCKING-
MONSTER TRUCK!?!?!?!?"...
Yo, is your throat okay after that?
It'll be fine...
Next time, don't read the volume. Anyway, Jack; Answer!
Because 'HOGS' are the fucking shit!
Great fucking answer! Twilight, you good?
Yeah, I'm fine. Their next question is for Sebastian; it states "How enthralling would you rate Maud and what *annoys* you the most about the pony world?"
I find my little pebble to be quite the character. She is one of the first of the opposite sex to find interest in me and not fear my appearance or voice.
Wait, are you having sex with horses too?
As for what annoys me, I would have to say that I have found little to push my metaphorical buttons. There are a number of thing I am not used to, such as the amount of color to this world and the kindness from ponies who don't find me utterly terrifying. Those here who judge me without knowing me are probably the only things here that get on my nerves.
You fucking ignored me...So that's a yes, isn't it? Really! Am I the only one who hasn't gone local?
Shut up, they're sentient creatures and the only difference from a normal person is their appearance.
Now you're defending them?
I'm not making a big deal out of it because frankly, I don't give a flying fuck.
...
Exactly. Next!
The next question is directed to...Carrot Top?
Yeah, that won't work out. I already tried getting her to answer that earlier. Said she didn't want to talk about it and that she'd call the guard if I didn't leave
Well, okay then. Game's last question goes to the author.
Woohoo!
Game asks; "How much fun do you have with the 4th wall bulldozing you do periodically? Also what the *hay* goes through you're beautifully demented mind to make this hilarious story you wonderful *stallion*"
...please don't censor him into calling me a stallion, it's creepy.
No kidding. Nice fucking job, Twilight. You had one job!
Sorry???
Anyway, I actually get extremely annoyed when I do fourth wall breaks. Cause when I write I get into the character and using their minds against mine usually ends up in us arguing in which I am literally verbally screaming at myself.
That's...interesting...can't say it's healthy, but I guess it shows your dedication to the characters.
Well, I do have a small number of mental illnesses. My trips to the psych-ward taught me that
And you're comfortable sharing that kind of information?
Fuck it, I aint ashamed. Better people know about it so they can have an idea of what to expect out of me rather than just assuming I'm acting out to spite them.
That kind of makes sense, but it seems sort of-
I know, everything I do contradicts itself. It's how I live life, deal with it. Anyway, that can also technically answer the whole 'What goes through my head' thing. A lot does, not always pleasant. However as some have noticed I have taken things from abridged series and put them in here, using them as a reference. Who doesn't love references? The reason I do that is because watching things like that as well as stand up comedies inspire me to write this story and create my own little funny ass scenarios. That's how I come up with these. If you got funny shit going in one ear, funny shit is gonna come out the other.
No offense, but you're kind of weird and your sense of logic is almost as bad a Pinkie's.
I know, isn't it great? :P
...Anyway, it would seem that we are out of questions.
Really? That's fucking it?
Hey, I said you guys were popular. I didn't say that you were famous.
Well, that was fun while it lasted. Thank you to everypony who participated and we hope to see you again in the next chapter.
And if some are reading this and want to still ask questions, feel free to ask when the next one will come in the comments below and we will see y'all next time
DEUCES, BITCH!!!