Tumor was wandering around town aimlessly. He didn't have anything to do today, neither did Carrot Top or Derpy. They suggested just sitting back and being lazy for the day to relax. Their definition of relaxing was far different from his. He figured going on a walk would help ease his boredom, so he left. As he wandered he entered a few stores at random to see what they were all about. He bought himself a cupcake at Sugar Cube Corner, got a new watch, and even managed to find a restaurant that had menus for griffons which allowed him to buy a burger. Eventually he found himself stumbling into Ponyville spa. He was greeted by two mares with an accent he wasn't very familiar with. He kept thinking Scandinavian for some reason, but he had no idea what they sounded like and assumed that he was wrong.

"Ah, if it isn't The War Horse. It's a pleasure to have you here. My name is Lotus, welcome to Ponyville Spa. How may I help you?" She asked enthusiastically, making him assume they were fans of his.

Tumor may not have been in this for the fame, but being admired by almost everypony was pretty nice."Actually, I was just wandering around. I didn't even fucking know Ponyville had a spa." He explained.

"Well, if there is anything you need just ask." She said with a sultry look. "Anything."

Tumor raised his brow at her and grinned. "Well, I do have one thing in mind." If there was one thing he loved more than the fame, it was the groupies that came with it.

Derpy was out delivering mail. She had intended on having a lazy day with her friends, but she got a last minute call that told her she had a few papers to drop off. She wasn't happy about having to go out and work today, but they told her it was just a couple so she didn't mind it too much. After dropping off a few and checking her saddle bag she saw that she only had one left for the owners of Ponyville Spa. She and the twins were pretty good friends, so rather than putting it into their mail box she entered the spa to give it to them personally. She was surprised when she entered the building and wasn't greeted by the two mares as they usually do. "Aloe? Lotus? Are you here?" She turned back to the door, the sign said open so they had to be here. She checked just about every room and was about to give up and just set the papers on their desk but a strange noise in their private quarters caught her attention. She walked over to the door and opened it slowly. After opening the door he body froze in place.

Tumor was sitting up on a bed. Aloe was standing behind him, rubbing his shoulders with his hooves, and Lotus' head was bobbing up and down on his waist while he sat back, seeming extremely pleased.

He looked over at Derpy, hardly even flinching at her presence. "You see this, bitch? This is how you fucking relax." He said before closing his eyes and leaning back a bit.

Derpy grabbed the door and slammed it shut, her face red as a tomato. She walked over to the door in complete silence and set the mail on their desk before flying back home. When she made it back she told Carrot Top just how eventual her day became.

Carrot Top waited in silence for her to finish before giving any feedback. "Wow, that must have been awkward."

Derpy buried her face into her hooves and rubbed her eyes. "It was. It really was."

They both went quiet when they heard a strange noise coming from outside. "What the hay is that?" Carrot Top asked.

"YEEEHAWWW!!!" Came a familiar voice from outside.

"Scratch that; Who the hay is it?" She asked. As she was about to get up the power suddenly went out the room went pitch black. She sighed in annoyance and rose out of her chair, felling around the walls as she walked to the door with Derpy following close behind her. When they opened the door and opened it they were met with the sight of Tumor riding on a manticore's back.

Tumor held on tight as the beast flailed around, trying to buck him off of it. "The more you struggle the more this is going to hurt you dumb-fuck." He yelled at it, punching its spine repeatedly. After a few more hits the bone broke and the manticore collapsed, unable to move. "Yeah!" He shouted almost loud enough for the whole town to hear. "Like in the movies, bitch!" He hopped off of the paralyzed beast, walking over to its head before kicking it in the jaw. "Bad kitty!"

The two mares watched as the epic bull-riding came to an end before Carrot Top decided to address the situation. "What the hell, Tumor?"

He looked over at her. "Hey, this big fucker attacked me! I was just defending myself." He explained.

"You didn't have to break its neck!"

"It was self-defense!" He leaned back onto the corpse and pulled a plastic bag out of his vest. He then unwrapped it, revealing a small sandwich. He took a bite out of it, ignoring everything around him.

The mares walked up to him, Derpy looking nervous, and Carrot Top looking slightly frustrated. "Tumor..."

He ignored Carrot Top, focusing only on his small meal and humming away as he did so. "Hmm, this is good mustard."

"Tumor..." She said even louder, hoping he would respond. When she saw that he wasn't going to she went closer to him and smacked his food out of his hand an onto the ground. "Tumor!"

He looked down in shock. "My sandwich..." He said as he dropped to his hands and knees just above the now dismantled assortment of lettuces, flowers and cheese now littering the ground. "It was innocent."

They watched him in silence for nearly thirty second. "Tumor?" Derpy started, "Are you gonna-"

Tumor suddenly cut her off, shushing her as he held a hand out in her direction. "I must grieve."

About two hours after his grieving Tumor went ahead and launched the corpse into the Everfree to keep it both out of sight sight and out of mind. After finishing up he walked over to the mares. "You know, you really shouldn't fuck with a mans lunch. That's a kind of trust that should never be broken." He said to Carrot Top. She just ignored him and they all went back into the house only to be reminded that they had no power.

"This is just great." Carrot Top said.

Tumor looked around. "What the fuck happened in here?" He asked.

"I think we blew a fuse." Derpy answered.

"Hold on, I got this." Tumor said. He remembered where the fuse box was since it was in his room and fixing this was common knowledge. He cautiously made his way over to the stairs, occasionally kicking things that were in his way. He eventually found the door and opened it.

"Tumor, be careful going down those stair." Carrot Top said.

"No shit? Cause I thought it would be a great idea to go down backwards, hopping on one foot like a fucking-" He suddenly slipped and toppled down the stair, screaming like a woman with a deep voice as he fell. When he finally hit the floor below he let out one final pained groan. "Son of a bitch..."

"Tumor? Are you okay?" Derpy called

"Every bone in my body was just shattered like a fucking dinner plate, but it's cool. I'm fine." He yelled back. When he managed to get himself back up he looked around at the surrounding darkness. "I'm never gonna find that thing like this." He rubbed his eyes, hoping it would help him see better. As he pulled his hands away from his face he noticed that their was suddenly light. Both of his eyes had started glowing bright red and shining at the wall like a flashlight. "Huh. That's new, but helpful." Now that he could see he walked over to the fuse box and after a bit of fumbling the power was restored.

Carrot Top smiled as the power turned back on. "That's better."

"Much." Derpy added.

Tumor made his way back up the stairs and found the two still standing at the doorway , admiring the now lit room. "Well, that went swimmingly."

Carrot Top looked over at Tumor and screamed, as did Derpy. "Sweet Celestia! What's wrong with your eyes?"

"What?" He asked before remembering what had happened in the basement. "Oh, right, that. One sec." The red light in his eyes suddenly vanished, but as they did smoke started tom emit from them along with a soft sizzling noise. "Mmmhmhm! Oh, that's brisk!"

"Is it supposed to hurt like that?" Derpy asked.

"Hell if I know, that's the first time it's ever happened." He rubbed his eyes, using his powers to heal whatever damage had just been done before taking a seat on the couch. "Anyway, how's your day going, Carrot? I'd ask how Derpy's was, but I already know that story."

"Well, it was fine until you showed up with the manticore and killed it." She said, her annoyance revealing itself for the umpteenth time today.

"So I gave you a show. What's wrong with that?" He asked.

"I don't know, maybe the fact that it's dead!" She answered aggressively.

"Look, I know you're stressed, but that fucker attacked me and it's gone now. That's just how nature works. And really, who's fault is that?"

"Yours!" She yelled.

"That's right, no ones. So how about you shut the fuck up and kick back for a bit before I have to launch your ass into the forest with the rest of the wild animals." He said, only further pushing Carrot Top's buttons.

She stared at him in silent rage for a few moments. "That's a load of crap and you know it. Do you really feel that way, or do you just love the sound of your own voice?"

"It's my gift to the world." He said with a smirk.

"Hate to break it to you, hun, but the world wants a gift receipt." She added, again trying to beat him in the game of obnoxious loud-mouth.

"No refunds or exchanges, only store credit." He replied, knowing that he'd win this game with little effort.

"I thought we were talking about the manticore." Derpy cut in.

Tumor shushed her. "Derpy, the grownups are talking."

"The second I get the chance, I'm kicking your teeth in." Carrot Top quickly added.

"Try it, bitch!" He shouted.

The sound of an angered roar came from outside as Carrot Top was about to respond. They all ran to the window and saw a tall monstrous figure standing in Carrot Top's garden. "That thing is crushing all of my carrots!" She turned her head as she heard Tumor softly sobbing. "Are you crying?"

Tumor sniffed. "there's just so much beauty in the world, you know?" She face hoofed and Tumor went back to his normal posture. "So, can I kill it?"

"What? No!" The beast roared again, quickly catching her attention. When she looked back out she saw it digging at the ground and tearing out all of her crops. "Kill it, kill it now!"

"Fuck yeah!" Tumor rand outside to face the creature face to face, punching it in the head as soon as he got close enough.