Now that Tumor was accepted by the public eye he was able to walk around town freely. It was alright. At least whenever Carrot Top and Derpy were out he was able to go out and talk to other people. Well, ponies, but still. As he walked around he noticed a group of stallions in blue uniforms with badges about to enter a doughnut shop. He found it hilarious that the law enforcement here was helping to reinforce the stereotype that had been made for so many years in his world. As they were about to enter, Tumor thought of a way he might be able to have some fun. "Fuck the police!"

The group of uniformed ponies turned around to face who was shouting at them, giving the creature a dirty look as they did so. After a brief stare down Tumor made his way over to the group, still swearing at them as he walked over to face them.

Carrot Top was wandering around Town Hall. She had finished her work early today and thought it would be nice to move around and get some exercise. It was a bright sunny day, the wind was blowing gently and cooling down the ponies who were still working out in the sun. Today was pretty peaceful overall, at least it was until she heard someone shouting in the distance. "Fuck the police!" She put on an annoyed expression and sighed, walking toward the sound the Tumor's voice. When she made it over to where she had heard him she was surprised to see absolutely nothing going on. In fact, the whole area was practically empty. It wasn't until she looked through the doughnut shop window that she saw Tumor sitting down with a group of cops. Her eyes shot wide open and she ran into the shop.

"So there I was, pinning this bitch to the ground while she looked up at me with those mutant bug-eyes of her. I looked at her and I said Hey, bitch. How's that's for a three-way?" All of the cops sitting with Tumor instantly started laughing, a few of them pounding on the table and one of them falling out of his chair. Tumor crossed his arms and smiled victoriously.

"Tumor, what are you doing?" Carrot Top asked as she approached the table.

Everyone at the table turned their heads to face her. "Not much." He said, throwing his arms around two officers. "Just sitting here with a couple of my new pals." His words made a couple of the cops smile with delight, they were obviously fans of his.

Carrot Top watched the police in disgust. They were basically putty in his hands and she knew that it wasn't going to lead to anything except good, especially if Tumor was part of it. A lot of ponies admired him for being a hero and some even looked up to him as a god with a tendency to swear, but she knew better. She lived with the bastard and although he has a good heart every time he used his head it was typically for something devious. She was about to speak but took notice of the police lowering their heads nervously. "What's up with them?"

The doughnut shop door opened once again and a tall grey stallion walked in. He had a black shaved mane and a snake as his cutie mark. "Dammit..." One of the cops muttered. Immediately catching Tumor's attention.

"What? What's wrong?" He asked.

"That's Cobra. He comes in here everyday during our break and picks on us." The officer explained before another one followed up.

"Yeah, and we can't do anything about it because he's not doing anything illegal."

Just as he had finished talking the stallion, Cobra, trotted over to the table. "What's up, ladies?" He asked in a cocky tone. "Having a tea party now, are we?"

One of the officers piped up." Look, Cobra, we don't want any trouble. We're just here to enjoy our break. So how about you run along and leave us be for once."

Cobra gave the cop a dirty look. "Sorry, sweetheart, but that's not how this works. You see, you're in my table and I want it back."

"Where's your name?" Tumor asked, causing Cobra to turn his head and glare daggers at him.

"Excuse me, punk?"

"I'm sorry, are you fucking deaf? Where is your mother fucking name? You said it's yours, so show me proof of ownership! Otherwise you're just standing here, wasting our time, and getting on my nerves." Cobra didn't say anything at first. "What's wrong, did you leave the deed in your purse?"

Cobra walked over to Tumor, stopping when he was right beside him. "You got a big mouth kid."

"And you got a pretty mouth, but I aint gonna fuck it." He replied. "Go in that shit and come out with every fucking disease known to ponies and some only know to dolphins. Fuck you." The police stared at Tumor in awe. They had never seen anypony so much as talk smack about Cobra, not even behind his back, but here he was insulting him to his face.

"You looking to start a fight?" Cobra asked with venom in his words, reaching up and grabbing Tumor by the vest. "Cause you got a beat down coming your way."

Tumor grinned at Cobra, causing him to look at him in confusion. Tumor looked back at the officers behind him, still smiling, before looking back at Cobra. "You wanna suck my what!?"

Cobra flinched and let go of Tumor. "What?" He could feel everypony in the shop staring at him.

"Fuck you, bitch!" Tumor continued. "I'm not letting you suck my dick! How do I know you're not riddled with diseases or some shit?"

"I never asked to-"

"Everypony look out! He's on a mad dick sucking spree, he's gonna give you herpes!" Tumor shouted with a laugh. Tumor stopped laughing when he felt a hoof strike him in the side of the head, Cobra's hoof. The police all gasped in unison and leaned forward in their chairs. "There's assault..." Tumor tightened his fist and sent it flying at Cobra, smashing straight into his forehead and knocking him out. "and there's self defense." He turned to face the cops. "See? Now you can get him for attacking a civilian and sexual harassment. I mean, you all heard him saying he wanted to fuck me with his throat, right?" The cops quickly caught on and nodded to Tumor, smiling at him before getting up and cuffing Cobra to take him to jail.

Cobra awoke with a dazed look on his face. "I'm gonna kill you."

"Threatening a life!" He called out to the cops as they departed. Once they were all gone Tumor put his feet on the table and leaned back, more than content with what he had just done. "Cobra..." He scoffed, "What a fucking bitch-lord."

Carrot Top worked her way over to Tumor. "Good to see you're making friends with cops...and apparently helping them lock up jerks like him."

"If there's one thing I've learned in my entire life, it's that if you want any kind of power or protection you need to make friends in high places and that's exactly what I'm doing. Plus, now they owe me a favor. And If I continue to help them with shit like this, they'll literally be on my dick if I so much as snap my fingers." He made sure to actually snap his fingers to emphasize just how serious he was about this.

Carrot Top took a seat next to him, shooting him a suspicious glare. "I fell like you're planning something."

"What makes you think that?" He asked.

"Friends in high places, having them at your beck and call...it kind of makes you look like you're about to do something and you want thosefriends so you can have leverage when somepony points their hoof at you."

"...no..."

"Tumor..." She pressed.

"Shut the fuck up. You're gonna get me in trouble, you bitch."

"Yeah, and you doing something that's probably very illegal isn't?"

"It's not illegal if you don't get caught." He stopped talking as the service pony walked over and set a tray of jelly filled doughnuts on the table. "Oh shit, we ordered those. And they're already paid for." He said as he grabbed one.

Carrot Top was getting more and more curious with every passing second. "Tell me what you're-" She was silenced as Tumor shoved one of the pastries into her maw.

"Eat my glazed doughnut hole!" At that moment Cobra burst through the door. He had a broken set of cuffs on his hooves and he looked ready to kill.

Cobra caught sight of Tumor and charged. "You're mine now!"

Tumor stood up and kneed Cobra in the jaw, making him stumble backwards only to be met with a fist to the head. Cobra fell the the ground. Tumor grabbed the plate of doughnuts before straddling Cobra. He took a handful of the treats in one hand and held Cobra's mouth open with the other. "Come on, you fuck. Is that all you got?" He shouted as he started shoving the doughnuts down his throat. "That's right, bitch! Choke on my rage! How does it taste!?" When the tray was empty he held it above his head and started slamming it into the ponies face over and over and over again. When Cobra's body finally went limb Tumor charged his hands and pressed them against his chest, sending a strong pulse of energy into his body and forcing his heart to start beating again. When Cobra awoke he started choking on the doughnuts that were still in his throat. Tumor raised his fist up high and punched Cobra in the stomach, making him cough up the glazed pastries. After he finished getting all of them out of him mouth using nothing but his tongue the police charged in. "You guys missed it, he tried to kill me and I beat the hell out of him." The cops let out groans of disappointment. "Oh, add attempt of murder to his track record." They nodded and two ponies came up to collect Cobra for the second time, this time adding multiple chains so he couldn't escape again. "You guys take care. I'll see you tomorrow at our table." The cops smiled at Tumor and took off with Cobra dragging behind them. Tumor walked back to the table and took a seat in his chair, ignoring the looks he was being given by the surrounding ponies. Instead he turned his attention back onto Carrot Top. "You know, I really love snakes and all, but that guy is a fucking dick."

"You're one to talk. How many ponies have you beaten up since you came here?" She asked, raising her brow at him

"None." Was his reply. This caused Carrot Top to squint her eyes at him, "That I know of." Her gaze remained unfazed. "Fuck you."