May I say that all of you are still as ugly as last time you were around? Here I thought you’d at least dress nicely for me! Maybe clean up a little, go to a spa or something and get all pretty for the story …

By the looks on your faces, you’d think I’d have grown a second head and started preaching the return of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. No, that’s not a real thing. Seriously all of you are bland as fuck when it comes to humour.

Actually, it’s not fair to say all of you, in fact that’s a definitive, and I fucking hate those with a passion. It amazed me when I was young at how often I would hear people speak in clear cut definitives. It was always, ‘it is this and only’ or ‘they always do this and never that.’ It got to the point often enough that I listened to people speaking and they would use definitives constantly until I just left, ending the conversation.

Hell, I remember this one time, when I was in class back in college. We were doing a class wide discussion and this one person was constantly involved, speaking their point and arguing with anyone. I don’t remember what the topic was, I think it was ethics or something, and I don’t even remember the person, but I do remember how they spoke with complete certainty. It was during one of her points, that I threw my hands up and walked towards the classroom door. The teacher asked me where I was going. I told them that if I had to listen to that person be so narrow sighted and unable to understand reality than I would rather quit the class.

Of course this sparked an outrage by the person. I cut her off, much like I did that preacher in Equestria, and told her that in life, definitives are only found when dealing with mathematical equations and death. Sure there are other things, but I made my point that as long as they kept using definitives in cases that cannot support such an idea, they had no ground to argue.

I didn’t get any real response, but I did shut the person up and actually allowed a reasonable discussion. Said person wasn’t as heated in following discussions, but it didn’t matter to me, my point was made and I didn’t care past that.

Good times.

Oh … I guess you guys want to ask your questions now? Yeah, sure, go ahead. You first.

Which movie did Luna like the most? Based on her reactions alone, I think she liked Elysium the most out, but there was another one that I can guarantee she loved the most, and you will learn it when I get to when she watches it. It is one of my personal favourites, probably second favourite movie ever. Number one is Saving Private Ryan if any of you want to know.

Glad to see something people remember it, good movie … amazing movie.

Alright, you next.

What are Native Americans and how did they relate to those buffalo? Shit, you guys really are clueless, aren’t you? See, him. Yeah, him. His descent is Native American, I can not only tell by his looks, not to be racist, but also by those by those symbols he’s wearing. I’ve had a lot of time to learn about cultures as I’ve travelled and I’ve learned how to tell them apart.

If I must explain it, a ‘Native American’ is someone who is a descendant from the people who originally inhabited the lands that we refer to as North America, or North Wasteland. For a while, people referred to them as Indians, but it was more correct to refer to them as Native Americans. I’m not going to explain anymore, if he or his family is willing to explain then they can, but it is not my job to butcher a culture because I’m not part of it.

Now, for the buffalo part, I admit in hindsight I was a little bit racist in my classification because I made the assumptions based off the markings they had and the headdresses they wore. If I had more to work on I would have been able to actually ascertain the true cultural comparison, but with what little time I had in contact with the buffalo, I couldn’t be that specific.

Did I meet any other sapient creatures? Woah now, you’re just looking to spoil the story for people! How’d you get the inside track on stuff coming up?! Haha, either way, the answer is yes, I met many others, though it was only three other species. I’ll let the story tell you about them instead of skipping ahead, though.

Did I ever travel in a group before or like the story’s group? Honestly I can’t say I have ever travelled in such a relaxed group dynamic before. This one felt more like a small moving family after a while. It even started to feel like that after only a couple of days of travelling. I’m not going to spoil anything later on, but it became an even tighter-knit group later. Now, for the first part of your question, I have travelled in a group before, like this one venture down to South America, for instance. Though that one went to shit, there have been other times which travelling in a group actually helped immensely. Probably the best example would be during the Berlin Incident. The only reason I survived was because of the others I was travelling with. Scary times back then …

Next question … and probably last question. Was I surprised how quickly Luna warmed up to me? Tough question really, because in some ways I was, and some ways I wasn’t. Let me explain. I’m not exactly the most charismatic guy, and I could probably say that I tend to fit in by just being myself … which is basically me being not very social. Sure I can talk in front of groups easily, but warming up to people takes a bit more time.

Now for Luna … well it kind of started when I first saw her in my personal dream. When she looked so eager to meet me and yet shocked, not to mention afraid that I was leaving so quickly, it kind of reminded me of well … me. Not explicitly, but it did bring back memories of how I used to act when I was younger. So when I went to meet her the first time, I essentially thought of how I would act if I were to approach myself; which seemed to do the trick. It was odd just how similar we were in well … in movie preferences as well as how we talked, so I guess I could say that was what surprised me.

Alright, enough questions. Time to get back to the story.

I awoke shortly after the last movie Luna and I watched. It was probably the best timing that could have happened, considering that I didn’t feel like talking that night. Though I believe that the only way to truly understand and know somebody is through communication; I’ve learned over the years to read people based on how they react to certain visual stimuli as well as how they act when they believe they aren’t being watched.

Based on what I had seen at night, Luna was a gentle heart that had struggled through a lot of things. She empathized with characters that had to undergo internal struggle as well as ones that went through trials and tribulations that were forced on them. It made me question, at the time, what she went through to become that way. Perhaps she was naturally one that was empathetic to such personalities, perhaps she had gone through her own. I didn’t know at that moment so it was pointless to ponder such ideas.

I also learned that Luna was extremely light hearted when it came to stuff that could be defined as comedic. She often would laugh at the smallest of things while we were watching Harold and Kumar. It made me question what she did to entertain herself in her off time.

So, as I slid off the roof, I noticed that I wasn’t the first to rise that morning. Though the sun had crested the horizon, it was still rather early, or at least my iPod said so, though I could have been easily off by hours at that point.

You know which one of my companions was the one to beat me in waking up? Gilda. Yeah, it seemed that the whole ‘early bird gets the worm’ saying was rather accurate of griffons. She was simply sitting on the fold-able steps to the trailer, a small mug of coffee in her talons. It made me laugh then and it makes me laugh now, because it seemed that every woman or female in my life liked her coffee in the morning. I can’t stand the stuff, myself. Too bitter for my liking.

When I laughed out loud, Gilda merely turned her head to face me. She had probably heard me slip off the roof so I wasn’t all that surprised that I didn’t frighten her. Though I was curious as to why she was up so early. “How come you’re already up?”

She didn’t say anything in response, she merely sipped on her cup more as she watched the sun rise. Curiouser and curiouser. Though in the back of my mind I knew the most likely reason for why she hadn’t responded, but I didn’t dare vocalize it. At this point, after the previous night, she needed to speak up on her own. I had given her the first steps, so the rest was up to her.

“You know, back when I was your age, and yes I can legitimately say that, I used to try and cling to my sleep if I could. Only with the help of an alarm could I get up this early. Now … now my age is catching up to me … that and a hereditary lack of sleep. Seriously, my entire family was that way; used to run on minimal sleep all the time,” I said, not really speaking to Gilda but at the same time hoping to give her an opening to speak up.

“I could barely sleep,” she mumbled out, just barely loud enough for me to hear.

“Ugh … I’m going to hate myself for saying this, ‘cause I always gave my parents shit for saying it but … was there something on your mind, keeping you awake?” I asked, squatting down next to her as I took a sip from my canteen. The one that had water in it … yes I have a canteen of whiskey, but that’s irrelevant.

She was quiet for a few moments before she looked up at me. “Yeah. I … I was thinking about last night … and when we get to Ponyville.”

I wanted to snark about the fact that I had seemingly misplaced my strong headed griffon companion named Gilda, but that wasn’t the time to do so. She was hurting, although not physically, it was still visible.

“Sometimes it hurts to talk about the things that bother us the most, Gilda. It’s a hurt that can only come with the healing process. I can help you only as much as you want me to; last night I pushed for that to happen, and I’m sorry for that, but you and I both know it helped. You let go of a lot of tension, and I bet that despite the lack of sleep you feel lighter, no?” I asked, to which she nodded her head in agreement. I smiled sadly at her. “There is still a long way to go, but you’ll make it. You’re fucking strong, Gilda. As for Ponyville … based on what Trixie said we should get there around midday tomorrow if we keep up the same pace as we did the previous days. We can deal with that when we get there or we can pre-empt it. It is up to you. Don’t rush the decision. You have hours of travel to do some thinking.”

She simply nodded before a faint smile touched her beak. It was good to see her smile again, and it even caused me to smile a little as she went back inside the trailer to wake Trixie.

The mare ended up taking some time to wake up, nothing major, but enough that I had to busy myself with ensuring that all the gear was collected and we had a supply of logs still for the next night … which I had to task to Gilda since we stored them in the trailer. Either way, after about forty five minutes of packing up camp, Trixie was ready and we were off on the road once more.

Now, let me regale you once more of how much time we spent walking in either silence, or with the two females in conversation about stuff I had no interest in.

Three hours.

Three boring as fuck hours. During that time we were able to eat a little mobile breakfast, we didn’t want to lose time after all. It was also during that time I had put in one headphone to listen to some music to keep my from going insane. Sure I had my thoughts, but those were mainly daydreams of things that could never possibly happen.

Dreams of what Fallout 4 would have been like mainly occupied my thoughts. Yeah, believe it or not sometimes random thoughts pop into my head and I go off on massive tangents regarding them. That was one that took me two hours to complete. Eventually what drew my attention away from my thoughts and my Fallout 4 related dreams was the approaching forest. Yes, that’s right, I said forest.

It was like I was looking at home, kind of. Have you ever been to the Amazon Rainforest? That’s a rhetorical question obviously. Anyway, even despite the earth going bananas, that place is still a fucking dense rainforest. Now, take the Arizona desert, which now that I think about it is also the same … right, back on track. Take the Arizona desert, and then put it right beside the thickest jungle in the world. That’s what that fucking scene looked like. It literally looked like someone used a ruler and divide what was desert and what was jungle.

“What the fuck is that?” I said, pointing over at the jungle.

“That’s the Everfree Forest,” Trixie said, a shivering going down her spine that would have been visible to a blind person. “We’ll be skirting the edge of that place. Few ponies would be able to make it through that place alive … most just get lost forever.”

I tipped my glasses down my nose, letting her see my eyes and my raised eyebrow. “Is that a challenge?”

“Luna, no! Trixie would never want anypony to go through there! Far too many dangerous beasts that could easily eat a pony!” she said in sheer horror at the prospect of me leading them through there. I wasn’t stupid … the trailer would have a rough time fitting, after all.

As we walked beside the forest, which wasn’t as perfectly cut as it looked at first, I couldn’t help but think of what kind of ‘beasts’ lived in that type of jungle. Of course I decided to ask Trixie if she knew … to which I got a list.

“Off the top of Trixie’s head: Manticores, Hydras, Timberwolves, Cockatrices, and Ursa Majors are the most common. Trixie has heard tales of Harpies, Lamia, dragons, and phoenixes … though phoenixes aren’t hostile unless you harm them,” she said in relatively calm fashion, considering how she previously reacted when she just mentioned beasts.

“... is the planet’s name perhaps, Greece?” I asked, giving her a dull stare.

“No, it’s Equus as far as Trixie knows, but it might be different in other countries,” she said in a manner that befitted someone who had asked what their own name was.

“Interesting,” I said, but added nothing more to the conversation as Trixie and Gilda became quiet. I had a feeling that as long as we were passing by the forest, they would remain quiet until I got them to speak. That actually ended up being true, which was odd considering that they were extremely talkative, surprisingly, until that point.

I could only wonder just what was the cause of such fear from ponies with regards to the forest. Being that the world had ‘magic’ I came to the conclusion that the place was ‘off’ in terms of magic, which caused such a reaction. Of course I never got a straight answer from the ponies, no matter who I asked. When I say no matter who, I truly meant it. I would later ask Luna about it and she was eager to change the conversation from that place.

Truly a mystery, one that I wished dearly to solve, but I knew that it was a little beyond my world if magic was the case. I could handle the creatures at best, assuming that they didn’t have some sort of method to divert flying pieces of lead and copper … considering everything, that was quite possible.

We kept walking in silence, though this time it was true silence. It was an odd feeling after two days of travel with them, well roughly two days. Their conversations had filled the air for enough time that I was actually starting to get used to it. Sure, I was used to silence, but when you expect something to happen and it doesn’t … well you become worried.

You know … I was almost tempted then and there to say the worst possible words that can be said in any situation. I can see some of you understand what I’m referring to while the younger ones are a little lost. I’ll explain what I meant, since the next little bit of the story is just us walking while I kept a watch on the forest, mainly since I was on the left, but also because I had the best means to defend us.

Anyway, the dreaded words, or saying if you will, that can be said in a ‘volatile’ situation are, what’s the worst that could possibly happen?

Yeah, they don’t seem very menacing right? Well let me tell you something; despite what you think about fate and luck, saying such words can lead to … well, the worst possible thing for that situation. It’s kind of a universal constant that fate will specifically seek out those who invoke its wrath by saying those words. I’m not lying either, okay? You might think that I’m being superstitious, but this is coming from a man that is neither religious, nor believes in fate or destiny. Yet, seeing it happen multiple times in my life … well it makes it tempting to start thinking fate is real.

I guess I’ll tell you of one specific instance, and let me remind you, this is just one instance of many that I have seen in my life. This one happened a little more recently. See, I was scavenging a military base in Louisiana, which let me tell you is not a kind place to visit. The world made that place even worse of a swamp than it used to be. Traversing it is nearly impossible without mounting a full expedition with others, which is what I got onto. We had navigated the swamp with help of an old swamper from before The Reckoning. He got us all the way to the base, and was patient enough to stick around for the day while we scavenged. It was there that I was lucky enough to find my current side-arm. Despite it being hardly military issue, it seemed that the armoury carried a few extra weapons that weren’t standard use for the military.

Sure I found a couple of other items I have kept over the years, but those are stashed away in my personal ‘stash’ let's say. No, you can’t know about it, then it wouldn’t be personal anymore. Anyway, as we were exploring the base we came across a depot or sorts, one that still had a surprising amount of fuel in it, which was actually one of the payment methods for the swamper. So we grabbed some already filled jerry cans and started moving them back to the boat, can you guess what happened next? No, well this next part is a doozie.

You see, one of the guys, I think his name was Jeff, not sure really, well he realised that we were running out of jerry cans that were full. His solution was to start up one of the pumps that was in there, linked to a large gas container, one of those massive cylinder types. Being a former electrician … or current since the license never expires, I told him to leave it; the wiring was almost definitely faulty, frayed, damaged, and would cause a spark to blow us all to hell. Of course he laughed at me because of my use of ‘definitely,’ and said those dreaded words, “what’s the worst that could happen.”

I, of course, booked it out of the depot, one jerry can in my arms and a look of panic in my eyes. All but two of the crew thought it was hilarious to see the “old man” bolt like that. The other two … the youngest two, probably both barely seventeen, hustled behind me. We had gotten about a hundred meters from the depot when a deafening explosion rocked the entire base, and sent us tumbling forward.

I told them the wiring was fucked, I had warned them; yet Jeff had to say those fucking words. So instead of having a full crew of eight guys, we were down to three in a matter of seconds.

I stared at the inferno from the ground, watching the flames lick higher and higher, burning off all that gas and oil. The worst part, was I saw two of the crew slowly stumbled out from the burning mess, completely blackened and on fire. They were barely alive as they fell to their knees, and eventually to the ground, just meters from the flames. They had somehow survived the explosion, yet got roasted alive in mere moments. I couldn’t imagine having to endure that type of painful death … burning alive … I’d rather bite a bullet.

I ended up escorting the kids back to their home afterwards, their shock almost constant for the entire two day trip out of the swamps, and the couple hour trip back to the town. For them it was the darkest moment of their lives, yet also the most lucky for they had enough sense to listen to me. For me … just another list of horrible incidents that I was forced to watch in my life.

So there you have it, a tale of why you should never use that saying.

Why did I regale you with it? Well the span that I just took to tell you all of that, about forty minutes right? Well, that eats into the time I would have spent rambling about how absolutely nothing happened during our trip around the Everfree. Would you rather have a distraction or me rambling and trying to find space to fill in time? It’s not my fault you all wanted a colour commentary type of storytelling. Hell, I could have easily just given you bare bones in terms of what happened during this entire adventure, but then you would complain later of how shitty of a storyteller I was.

Instead, here I hand you a brick wall of prose that just transitions to the next fucking scene. Be happy with it already, I could always just stop and leave. Let you wonder what happens next!

Good, then shut up about my storytelling methods.

Now, it was about mid-afternoon, around three o’clock according to my iPod, that I started to become aware that we were being watched. It’s one of those feelings you learn to trust when you’ve lived your whole life on the edge. Call it a sixth sense, but I knew that we were being stalked by something … as to what, I didn’t know at the moment.

I didn’t say anything to the rest of the group, because it could have easily been nothing, and I didn’t have any proof that my feeling was correct. So I held my tongue at that moment, waiting until I was sure we were being stalked.

It took fifteen minutes of playing innocent, and using my peripherals, but eventually I caught the sight of a pair of golden eyes from the dark jungle, and the quick movement of a rather large body. Yep, we were being stalked if not outright hunted.

“Listen,” I said without moving my head to tell, “stay extremely calm and keep moving, but we’re being stalked by something big. The trailer is safe enough if you can get inside quickly.”

“Wh-what?” Trixie stammered at first, surprised by the sudden revelation.

“By any chance can a unicorn, namely you, teleport?” I offered, still watching for movements.

I think Trixie nodded her head, but I didn’t pick up because I didn’t want to remove my eyes from the forest. Eventually I asked again, to which she vocally replied, “yes.”

“Good, when I yell, you teleport as quick as you can inside the trailer, and you and Gilda bunker down there until I kill it … or it leaves with my body.”

I could tell by the silence that what I had said shocked them both once more. To be so crass with the idea that it could kill me must have been something entirely new for the pony and griffon. It’s how I lived and how I still live. I’m afraid of death and will do everything I can to escape its cold embrace, but at the same time, I know it is one of the true constants in the world.

Eventually they both agreed to what I was saying, though the tones in their voices told me they were unsure as fuck as to whether it would work. I didn’t tell them that if I didn’t manage to scare it off or kill it, I would have ran straight into the jungle to take it as far from the trailer as possible.

Now, before any of you stupid question askers or sarcastic bastards say it, of course I fucking lived.

So we kept walking for maybe a few more meters before it finally decided that it had had enough of stalking us. The moment the bushes rustled, and my eyes caught the emergence of a golden furred body, I yelled at Trixie, and with a pop she disappeared, or at least I thought she did at the time. Of course I did learn afterwards that she had indeed teleported inside.

I was the closest target for the beast to attack, so I knew that in mid flight if I rolled away just in time I would dodge it for the moment, there was no way I was going to try and fire at it mid air. It could have crushed me for all I knew.

So with a last second dodge, I rolled away from the beast as it came down in my previous spot. I ensured my safety by doing another quick roll following the first, moving even further from the beast who was apparently confused enough to give me time for a second roll.

With a quick spring, I popped up into a standing positioned and brought my rifle to bear on the animal, who was simply staring at me in either amusement or curiosity. Yes, that’s right; I said that it actually had feelings in its look. Yeah, it confuses me to this day as well.

So when I got my eyes on the beast, I came to the realisation that Trixie had been telling the truth … well at least about manticores. Let me tell you what they are. You take a fierce and demonic looking lion, give it bat wings, and then decide that it’s claws and fangs aren’t enough, so you also swap out its tail for a fucking scorpion stinger. Scared yet? If you were in my position you would have been to.

Now, when I realised it was judging me, I decided to say fuck it and try my luck at seeing if the world was as completely insane as I believed it to be.

“If by some chance, you can understand what I’m saying,” I told it, “then let me tell you, this pointy stick I’m pointing at you? With a simply pull of my finger, I can put a hole the size of a large pebble through your head.”

The beast continued to look at me with curiosity in response, but it hadn’t attacked, so I kept my aim on it and decided that I might as well continue.

“What that means for you, is that when this stick goes bang, you won’t even get to hear it go off before your world will be over. Dead. Gonezo. Fin-eeto. So I’m giving you the option to run away and back into that jungle before I have to take such measures.”

Eventually the beast’s eyes widened, as though it was realizing that I was correct or something like that. If this was our world, I would have thought such a thing was impossible but all things considered, I didn’t give a fuck anymore at that time. Oh and by saying its eyes widened … well it didn’t have very animal-esque eyes, no these were the same shape as something that was sapient.

So, going along with the insane world, the beast slowly slunk off back into the jungle. Though before it entered, it looked back at me, and it … it fucking nodded. Yeah, it fucking nodded as though it was agreeing to my deal. If it wasn’t for the adrenaline pumping through my blood, I would have had an aneurysm at what I had witnessed. Thank god for that adrenaline, huh?

Yet, though the manticore had left and made its way back into the forest, I still kept my M110 trained on the forest line. There was still a part of me that thought that it wasn’t anything more than an animal, and that it would come back at the moment that I decided to drop my guard and turn my back. Though eventually the adrenaline faded and I realised that in the world I was currently in … it was all too possible that what happened was indeed what happened.

“It’s gone …” I said quietly at first, as though my voice had disappeared and left me completely. Once again my mind decided to tell me all was well despite my reflexes saying no. “You can come out, the manticore is gone.”

The door cracked open the same moment that I had finished saying that, which made it apparent that despite what I said to them, they were all too eager to see what happened. Trixie was the first to peek out, the gentle glow of her horn seemingly attached to a common glow that surrounded her entire self. Right there was the first time I would see a shield magically created by a unicorn, yet I didn’t think about that at all.

For some reason I felt even more out of it than normal when I went through such situations … you remember the raiders from the first part? Yeah … when I killed them I didn’t feel too much. No fear, no regret, no real emotions went through me until I moved on. Yet with that manticore … it felt like the first time I had come close to death. You know, I still wonder why I felt like that. I was the farthest thing from death in that situation when I compared it to all the other times.

Hell, I was closer to death in Louisiana than with that manticore. Yet why did I feel such emotion immediately afterwards?

Heh … I don’t expect any of you to answer that. All it is is merely the rambling of an old man. Circular questioning that leads nowhere. I’ve already used that thought process before, back then when it happened, I don’t need to be thinking it all over again.

Eventually I was poked in the side by Gilda who had also come out of the trailer. I had gone kind of comatose … or torpid if you want to be picky. No, wait, the right word would have been catatonic! Yeah, I had been a little bit catatonic, all those thoughts rattling around in my head. Thankfully Gilda had found out that poking me with sharp objects, namely her claws, easily stirred me out of the state.

“You okay, dude?” she asked as I looked down at her.

“Yeah … yeah, I’m good. It was just a manticore. No big deal,” I said with a small smile and chuckle.

“Sure, just a manticore, and I’m the long lost princess of Equestria!” Gilda said before letting loose a laugh that sounded akin to a warble or something bird like. That of course caused me to laugh, which in turn caused Trixie to chuckle. It was a laughter fest in the middle of nowhere. Of course it ended when Gilda decided to charlie horse me on accident by slugging me in the leg.

So once more we got moving on our path again, though this time I can safely say that we were not hindered by a manticore or any other Greek mythological creatures.

No! Fuck you! Don’t be a smart ass and suggest non-Greek mythological creatures! Don’t even try and deny it, you jackass, I could see that sparkling in your eye at such a grand opportunity.

…

You’re not going to be quiet about this are you? Fine! Fine, just fucking say it already.

…

Happy now? Good, now shut up, there is still a lot of story left.

Now, as for the travelling portion of this part of the story, we were once again back to being silent, though I think it was due to them being nervous. I had become contemplative at that time, trying to figure out two things.

First, how a manticore could even comprehend speech, and secondly, the whole fear issue I spoke about. Yeah, you don’t really want me to narrate those thoughts; they were a mess as it was, jumping back and forth making connections that made no sense once my mind had calmed down.

So it was, eventually we made camp though a little bit away from the Everfree forest for good measure. Though I was sure that the manticore wouldn’t be back, I didn’t want to have to deal with anything else. Trying to kill a hydra without precision tactics … that and a flaming sword. You know, cauterize the wounds so the heads wouldn’t respawn. Easier said than done obviously.

Either way, we did the same as last night. I got the fire started while the girls broke out the food and comforts that the night would need. Once more I brought out the Ambershine because having a drink while beside a fire is a key component to camping. Those who think otherwise are the same people that are known as buzz-kills.

Anyway, we eventually got to the same stage as the previous night, where we were all sipping on drinks, warm food in our bellies, and a nice campfire dancing in front of us. The only downside was that we ended up running out of boar meat that night. Thankfully we were expected to reach Ponyville the next day. You want to know how I knew we were getting close? Well when we moved up to the camping location I took a look west with my scope and saw another one of those clear cut and defined areas. Yep, desert ground gave way to lush grass … truly the world was made up of blocks at that point.

So I guess really the only thing left to tell you all before I met Luna that night, was what we talked about around the fire, for however brief that was.

“Tell me about, Ponyville, Trixie. I need to know if I will be ‘allowed’ in or what,” I said out of the blue.

“Oh well … Trixie isn’t entirely sure. The time she spent there is … well it wasn’t very good,” she said sheepishly.

“Oh? They treat you bad or something?” I offered, a little intrigued at her response.

“More like, Trixie tried to take over the town,” she said with a light chuckle.

I merely leaned forward a little while looking at her intently. I think it was easy for her to pick up what I was conveying, which for all of you listeners was ‘you should probably tell me before we have a problem.’

“You see, Trixie felt humiliated the first time there, though it wasn’t nopony’s fault. That’s another story, but Trixie got … angry to say the least and tried to get revenge by showing up Twilight Sparkle. Unfortunately what she thought was a simply magic pool booster, was actually an amulet that corrupts the user and allows them access to forbidden magic. Trixie was lucky that Twilight Sparkle saved her from the amulet, and forgave her. It is something Trixie is ashamed of, yet it is important for it taught humility to Trixie.”

“Humility?” I offered, eyebrow perked in a questioning pose.

“Yes, Trixie was very boastful prior to the mare you know today. She used to refer to herself all the time as ‘The Great and Powerful Trixie.’ Now she just refers to herself as Trixie,” she explained.

“Say, ‘I’ instead of she or Trixie,” I said, hoping to see if she might catch on.

“Isn’t Trixie saying that?” she asked, a confused look on her face.

I simply got up, walked over to her, and proceeded to pat her on the head before returning once more to my cushion. Gilda was giggling a little at what I did, while Trixie continued to look confused over what had happened.

“Don’t worry, Trixie. Now do you know anything else about Ponyville?” I asked.

“Like Trixie said, she knows very little but what is told. It is a normal small town in Equestria, though it is also the home of Princess Twilight Sparkle and the Elements of Harmony. Oh! And there is a rather delicious bakery called Sugarcube Corner. They make the best peanut butter and crackers.”

“Elements of Harmony?” I asked, more than a little intrigued.

“Yes, that is what Trixie said. They help restore peace via magical discharges that put disharmonious things in there place, much like Discord, the God of Chaos,” she replied promptly, but I could tell she was still thinking about the peanut butter and crackers.

“So, a super weapon essentially?”

“Yeah, essentially,” Gilda added, though it didn’t sound as strong as her normal interjections. I could sense she had something on her mind once more. Prior to that, she had been happily sipping on her whiskey and just listening.

Now, back to the superweapons. I can tell you all, at that moment I truly thought I was going to be fucked over just by entering the town. It was a chilling thought at the time, considering that if they set things straight in the world, and I wasn’t from that world, I could have easily been a target. Of course neither Gilda nor Trixie gave any more info as to what the Elements of Harmony were. It made me wonder if it was a targetable weapon, or if it was a general shield that did a pulse or something.

Honestly, back then I was really imaginative with what the possibilities were, but could you blame me? Gilda had basically confirmed it was a superweapon and damn are those scary. You remember all the stories of how the ‘nukes’ fell? Yeah, well those were super weapons. We were lucky only a small few actually launched and detonated, but they essentially helped to create our new world.

Alright, I’m going to pour some whiskey and take a brief breather.

What? No, of course I didn’t go straight to bed after that. It was still relatively early by my standards. No, the reason I am taking a break is because I am skipping a part, and this is a fine time to take a break before the Luna part.

What am I skipping? Gilda and I had another talk, simple as that. Remember how I told you last time that I would be mentioning it but not actually telling you anything about it? Yeah, well here we are.

I’ve told you, and now I am skipping it.

“Trixie is off to bed, she wishes you a good night,” the blue mare said as she walked into the trailer, and shut the door immediately following her disappearance from the night air. Both of the other two looked at her as she disappeared before their eyes switched targets.

Gilda looking at her cup solemnly, not even daring to speak or look at the other being occupying the area around the fire. Her nerves were working overtime, causing her to feel fear where there should have been none, yet even despite her desire to talk and tell him her reason for wanting to go to Ponyville … she still had a little voice in the back of her mind telling her that she shouldn’t have to tell anyone anything about her.

It wasn’t a question of whether the human could be trusted or for that matter, whether he would just dismiss her … she had just been hurt inside so badly that she felt nauseous whenever she even thought about what had happened.

Ryan, for the entire time Gilda fought her inner demons and voices, just sat across from her, staring at the griffon. Waiting. Waiting for the right time to talk, or for her to talk first. It wasn’t his choice in the matter but eventually there had to be communication. He wasn’t a mind reader and had no magical skills to call upon, yet he didn’t need either in order to judge what Gilda was thinking. Her posture and the fact her eyes darted away whenever she tried to look at him told him that she was in an internal struggle with herself.

So the two sat, in a standoff of sorts. One battling with a choice that was beyond obvious, while the other waiting for the choice to be made. The only sound accompanying the moment was the crackling of the fire, chirps of the crickets, and a stray howl from either wolves or timberwolves.

“I ran from home,” Gilda said in a soft voice, nearly cracking with a sob. Tears weren’t falling from her eyes, but even the most clueless of beings could see that the griffon was distressed. “I wanted to go to Ponyville because I ran from home the day before you found me.”

Ryan moved from his spot over to comfort Gilda. At first she refused, trying to put up a facade of toughness, trying to bury her emotions deeper within her, and push him away, but his persistence won out and Gilda reluctantly let Ryan sit next to her, an arm over her shoulders, pulling her closer to him.

“What was the straw that broke the camel’s back?” Ryan asked simply, to which he garnered a sad laugh, one that came from not knowing the saying and considering it amusing.

“One day … about a month ago, my parents found my … my journal in my room. Well … my dad did at least. I had been careful in hiding it from his ‘room inspections’ but I forgot one day before I stormed out of the house in anger. When I returned, I-I found him reading it. I yelled and screamed at him expecting to cause another fight, one that I almost hoped would come to actual blows. In-instead he simply stared at me before leaving the room, dropping the journal on my bed.”

She was silent for a moment, considering how she was going to say the next part. She had kept another side of herself to herself for so long that it felt weird to even consider talking about it, let alone with someone that she had only met days prior.

“No ... no, why should I tell you!? You’ll just do the same thing! You’ll hurt me just like him!” she screeched before pushing him away, which did not come as a surprise to Ryan.

She attempted to run off, but Ryan was quick enough to grab her tail, stalling her progress, much to her shock and fear. The voice in the back of her mind screamed at her to fight back and run, that he was going to hurt her or something even worse.

Yet he did none of that, his eyes showed no malice towards her and her attempt to flee, only pity filled them. “To conceal one’s emotions is the worst they can do for themselves, Gilda. I should know, I did it most of my life.”

Much to her surprise, he let go of her tail and instead just kept sitting there, looking at her. The silence was broken when he spoke again. “There was a time when I bottled up all my emotions. My sorrow, my anger, my regret, my fear … even my own happiness. When I was younger, Gilda, I was cynical of everything and anyone but the closest of friends. It led to pain that I couldn’t explain, yet I thought I had an inkling as to what it was. I joked about it, getting an ulcer from all of the bottling up, and never thought much of it. Yet one day, I was forced in bed from the sheer pain in my stomach. At that moment I thought to myself, ‘this is too soon, it shouldn’t happen this early.’ For a bit, Gilda, I thought I was going to die because of a self-created ulcer.”

Ryan took a pause to let that sink in, allowing him to pat the cushion she had been previously using. She took the hint and sat back down next to him, though this time there was no contact.

“That was when I was twenty, Gilda. At twenty years old, I thought I was having something that shouldn’t manifest till my current age. It was funny when I learned that it was just very bad food poisoning, but that didn’t change the choice I made at that moment. I knew I had to change my thinking, to allow my emotions to actually flow freely or it would end up killing me. For two years after that, I felt great and I was thinking clearer. Yet I relapsed. It was after The Reckoning … the near death of my world, that I started bottling up again. I had no family left, and I thought I was truly alone. I resigned myself to inevitable death for years until I ran into an old friend again. Not a real friend per se, but instead a book I read once. The book was called, The Monk Who Sold his Ferrari. I was reminded me of better times, of my father and mother. It told me that I had power over myself as long as I didn’t allow myself to fall into another pit of despair. To be humourous, you could say I was saved, and enlightened.”

Ryan turned himself to look at Gilda directly, putting himself down to her eye level to stare at her and drive his point home.

“What I am saying, Gilda, is that if you are afraid to let your emotions show from time to time, you will be wearing something worse on your sleeve, you understand that saying?” Ryan asked, to which she replied with a nod. “Good, now listen. You don’t have to tell me anything if you truly don’t want to, Gilda, but let me tell you … no matter what happens, as long as I am alive, you can consider me to be a trusted confidant. One you can confide in, and feel safe around. If you ask for help, I will aid you to my foremost ability as one who has experienced a lot in my long life.”

“No matter what I tell you?” she asked quietly.

“That is never a promise one can make, Gilda. Yet right here, no matter how much I hate definitives, I will promise exactly that to you,” Ryan said with a firm voice, but a soft smile.

“Why?” Gilda asked softly again.

“You remind me of more than a few people I used to know … and even one that was close to me. Heh, if adoption laws allow humans to adopt, I’d take you in before letting your family try to claim you again,” Ryan said with an amused chuckle, but he was speaking a little bit of truth. Gilda merely laughed softly at that, though she also had understood the inflection in the words.

“The day I left … my parents confronted me shortly after noon. They had avoided me all those days before. It … it started slowly, talking about what happened, or at least that was how mom started it. She tried to be the reasonable one, but I felt it … I felt the malice in what she was saying, not directed at dad, no … it was, well you know. Then dad said it as though he was talking about bloody murder!” she said with a choked back sob.

“What was it?” Ryan asked simply, but he had a good guess on what the topic was.

“That,” Gilda started but paused to take a few deep breaths. “That I’m gay. A fillyfooler, a dyke, a lesbian … and every other name that he could think of.”

“And are you?”

All he got in turn was a small nod. That was all he needed before pulling her closer to him, into a tight embrace that helped drown out the small sobs that the griffon gave off. That had been the toughest thing she’d ever had to do in her life. Another moment used to hold that title, but compared to admitting to someone the true her … that other event meant nothing.

For what seemed like hours, they just sat there, Ryan holding Gilda, while she allowed her emotions (and tears) to flow once more. It was essentially a repeat of last night, but this time it felt different. The previous night had been one of sheer condolence, one that was more friend to friend. This time, the embrace that Gilda was wrapped up in after her admittance felt more like a father comforting his little girl and telling her everything would be alright. It even made Gilda think back to what Ryan had said previously, but she quickly pushed the idea away for the meantime.

Eventually she pushed herself out of Ryan’s hug, using a claw to wipe her eyes. She had needed that, and felt infinitely lighter afterwards. She even felt ready to continue her story.

“We started swearing at each other, probably the biggest shouting match we had ever been in. Mother didn’t even really try to intervene, she simply looked at me sadly when I tried to get her to help me. Eventually … I just lost my temper. I had had enough of him constantly telling me how I had ‘sullied’ his honour and the honour of the family … I swiped at him … caught the fucker across the face as well,” she said with a small laugh. “He started bleeding badly as I rushed out of the house. Yet I could hear him yelling at me. Telling me that I was disowned and claiming he didn’t even have a daughter anymore.”

Ryan just continued to listen, his face showing neither the disgust he felt, nor the anger at hearing what happened, he just listened passively.

“And you know what? Fuck him. He never did anything for me anyway …” Gilda said with a surprising amount of conviction. “So I flew as fast and as far as I could … which well, you know the rest. I guess … the reason I wanted to go to Ponyville was because my first crush and … and former friend Rainbow Dash is there. For a moment I thought that if I found her and apologized that all would be better …”

“Do you still hope for that?”

“I don’t know anymore. I was sure of it until … until now, I guess.” she said before sighing deeply.

“Why don’t you think that things will get better?” Ryan asked, noting that he was going full therapist on her.

“She hated me when we last saw each other, over a year ago. I was an idiot, and a loser for doing what I did to her new friends. I felt jealous that she had other friends … I thought she didn’t even think of me as a friend anymore, let alone a chance at being something more. I knew for a long time that she was into mares as well, but with how close she seemed to her other friends … I thought I had lost my chance. I … ugh … I … I fucked up badly,” she said. If it hadn’t been in such a heartfelt confession, Ryan would have been proud of the swear.

“Everyone fucks up from time to time, Gilda. Sometimes it feels like you messed up worse than anyone ever, and I understand that feeling. You have to realise that every single one of us are merely … mortals. We aren’t perfect, nor can we be. Rainbow Dash will take you back as a friend, and perhaps she will finally see in you what you see in her,” Ryan offered.

Gilda nodded solemnly at first, but when she looked back at Ryan, there was the faintest hint of a smile on her face. He knew that his words had gotten through and that they had truly helped the griffon in her time of need.

She grabbed him in a surprise hug once more before getting up and walking to the trailer, but before she entered, she turned around. “Can … can we keep all of this between us? Can we go back to the way things were … I don’t want to say before since it was just yesterday but …”

“Whatever you say,” Ryan said before a small grin graced his face. “Cat-bird.”

Gilda merely laughed, albeit a small one, before flipping the finger to him and walking into the trailer. Ryan gave a smile in return before letting out a deep sigh. He felt a little relieved as well. Despite the fact Ryan was her shoulder to cry on and her counselor, he had felt a heavy burden going into the argument.

Eventually, Ryan picked himself off the ground and made his way to the top of the trailer. He had a meeting with a Princess and wasn’t about to miss it as long as he could sleep.

Right, so I guess you all have been waiting patiently enough during the break for me to finish. I guess I should apologize for how I spoke about it. Sometimes, I forget that my social skills around others is not the same as it used to be. I apologize for how I’ve acted to most of you … and some of you deserve it.

Perhaps I am getting slightly senile already … it could explain why I need the breaks now. That is for another time though, for I should finish today’s part.

So skipping about an hour or so of me and Gilda talking, I eventually hit the hay and laid down to rest on the roof of the caravan once more, contemplating what scenery I should set up for Luna that night. Eventually I decided that while it was to entertain Luna, I also needed some form of interest as well.

Eventually I decided to recall the Normandy beaches I had visited as a kid. They were important way before any of our times. I only know them from the history passed down to me. I can see some recognition on a few faces. Yes, back in World War Two they were important because they were the site of the invasion of France to liberate it from Nazi Germany. Though as well that is another story entirely.

When I closed my eyes, I was once more in the black area that I always awoke in. Oh, I forgot to mention that normal lucid dreaming isn’t anything like what I enjoy. Once more I blame the Berlin incident, but even I can’t be sure how it started, it merely started one day. I merely tell others that I lucid dream, it is simpler and quicker.

So, I quickly remembered Omaha beach, the bluffs overlooking the stretch of sand. I perched myself on top of one such bluff, a blanket laid out over the grass and a pillow underneath my ass for comfort. Not to mention I also set out a cushion for Luna when she decided to arrive. Which, by the way wouldn’t happen for about half an hour. That left me enough time to really enjoy the scenery and take in the fresh air that wasn’t even real.

Eventually though, I felt her presence enter the dream once more, though she appeared on the beach instead of up on the bluff. So for a few minutes I got to see her wonder where she was, and if the look on her face showed anything, who was dreaming the dream. Of course that made me contemplate if she could tell what dream she would be going into and whose it was. Perhaps I was just the mystery?

I thought about those questions for the few minutes it took for her to finally spot me up on the edge of the bluff. The speed at which she was up and in the air flying was marvellous to see, and told me just how excited she was to see me and speak more.

“Greetings, Ryan!” she nearly shouted as she came in for a landing.

“Hello, Luna,” I said with a smile. “Having a good night?”

“Every night is enjoyable when friends are around,” she said with an eager grin.

“Oh? Am I a friend already?”

“We um … we didn’t mean to push this upon you. If … if you don’t,” she said rather meekly as she thought she made a fictional mistake.

“Haha, I’m joking, Luna. If you see me as a friend, I feel honoured to be such to one of the rulers of a country,” I said, patting her on her shoulder.

Her big grin returned instantly. It was as though I was saying the best news in the world to her. That did make me wonder about a few things, but they were of non-issue at the time and were instantly put to rest.

“So, I suppose it is your turn to ask questions?” Luna offered, as she looked out at the beach.

“You can ask the one on your mind first,” I replied simply.

“What is this place? It is very serene but unexpected.”

“Remember the movie ‘The Thin Red Line’?” I asked her to which she answered with a nod. “Well that was just a small part of the massive war that was World War Two. What lies in front of you is a beach in Normandy, France, that was designated Omaha Beach. The Allies designated that in preparation for their invasion to reclaim France from the greatest of the Axis powers, Nazi Germany. The beach saw thousands die in a mad rush to cross the sand and scale the bluffs so they could gain a foothold in the country. When I was very young, around twelve, I visited this place with my family. It was one of the most memorable points in my life,” I answered her, all the while smiling at the good memories.

“I see … it is a shame that so many gave their lives here,” she said sadly.

“Despite everything I think, Luna, there are times where blood needs to be spilled in order to cleanse the evils of the world.”

“Wise words from such a young being,” she said all the while nodding her head.

“Young? Haha, Luna, I am hardly young. Being over forty is roughly halfway through my life!” I replied with a hearty chuckle.

“Half way through a life span is indeed a long time, but when your conversation partner has been around for millennia, and isn’t even near halfway, it makes you look young,” she said with a smirk of victory over me. I merely balked at what she had said.

Yeah, and that’s what she had said! She said millennia! Not millennium which means only a thousand years, no she meant more than a few thousand … I mean hell, a century is long for us! Imagine a few thousand years! It still shocks me now!

“A … millennia … how old are you? And don’t give me this whole ‘it isn’t polite to ask a lady’s age’ bull, you brought this upon yourself,” I said, wagging a finger at her.

She merely chuckled at the statement, as though I had made a joke at my expense. “The last time I took count, I was tallying in at four thousand eight hundred and sixty one years old. That was this past year. My four thousand eight hundred and sixty second birthday is still a few months away, I believe.”

“And yet you still only look twenty three! You must tell me your secret,” I said with coy look that basically screamed I was flirting. Though it was all in good fun. Of course, Luna took it more literally and blushed hard at the flirtatious statement.

“Now, Luna, I believe you owe me some answers for questions I have?” I offered, switching topics since I didn’t want to possibly be smitten by what was practically a god.

She simply nodded as to indicate for me to go ahead and ask them. Unfortunately I hadn’t actually thought up a single question. Honestly I was going into every situation blind anyways, and it made me almost smack my forehead in response to my lack of preparation.

“How about we start with something simple; tell me about the world. You know, since I’m new and all that,” I offered. Sure it wasn’t really a question, but I figured I had a right to know.

“While not a question, I think it is acceptable,” Luna said before blowing a raspberry at me. “Now, the world itself has no official name, which each culture and species calling it something different. In pony culture, much to my and my sister’s dismay, scholars have titled it Equus. We both personally feel that it is too …”

“Speciesist?” I offered.

“Yes, that is a good word to describe that. Now, aside from the planet name, you have many different species living amongst this world, but there are only really six major ‘nations.’ This is despite there actually being many small and independent states that do not align with any of the major nations. You of course know of Equestria, the country you are currently in. We have the most diverse culture and population of any nation, usually welcoming others in with open wings. According to our latest census actually, we can officially state we have at least one citizen of each known species.”

“Very impressive,” I said, actually quite impressed.

“Indeed, though in the case of the griffons it wasn’t an easy thing. A king of their old country ended up bankrupting the entire nation and put them in such a debt that they willingly became a state of Equestria. In more recent times they have become more of a protectorate by all means, but do accept our overall ruling when it comes to certain situations. Now, as for other countries, to the north is Yakyakistan, though they are the smallest of all nations. As the name implies, it is a country comprised mainly of Yaks,” she said with an amused giggle. I couldn’t help but follow suit as I too found it hilarious, though it made me wonder if she realised the punnyness in her country’s name as well.

“To the west and connected by land is what is known as 'The Dragon Territories'. For the most part they have formed settlements and a legitimate country, but that hasn’t stopped many flights of dragons from continuing their nomadic and … random lifestyle. It often baffles our ponies as to why the current dragon government allows it, but Celestia and I know that it is tough to stop something that is blood bound. It has lead to dragons inhabiting areas in Equestria that are forbidden, but there has yet to be a non-peaceful outcome.”

While I was interested in all of what she was telling me, I couldn’t help but think that the only reason she was telling me all of that was because she was bragging about her country. It actually made me smile a little as it was obvious that she had rarely ever gotten to speak on such things to someone interested enough.

“Finally, across the Proteus Ocean, there is the Saddle Arabians,” which I snickered at, “Minotaurs, and Zebras. Saddle Arabia is a sister nation of Equestria, for they and us have descended from common ancestors. A lot of the Eastern Continent is arid badlands, desert, or grasslands. The Saddle Arabians are from the southern part of the continent and actually border all three in a triangle-like form. Tayros is the most western nation, populating the most mountainous areas that act to separate them from Zebrica. Zebrica is located to the east of those mountains and is landlocked due to a very hostile desert north of them and an extremely dense jungle to the east of them.”

“Can you tell me about those three nations?” I asked.

“That counts as a question, you know?” Luna countered back with a smug look.

“Which means I have two left, correct?” I hoped she wouldn’t remember the count from last time, which would have meant I only had three.

“Nope! Only one!” she said in an extremely chipper tone. She had undoubtedly caught me in the act. “Now, the Saddle Arabians, as I said before, are essentially cousins of ponies, but are much larger in size.”

“Horses?” I offered, to which she looked extremely surprised.

“How … how did you know?” she asked, stunned.

“Luna, on our planet we have millions upon millions of non-sapient creatures. For example, you have wolves, we have wolves. You have birds, we have birds. Such like that, but on our planet, we are the only sapient species. Because of exactly that, we have many non-sapient species that directly reflect four of the nations you mentioned. Yaks, zebras, horses, and yes, ponies. The first two are wild creatures for the most part, but the latter have been domesticated by my people in the past. Used for labour or transportation, and are considered pets for the most part.”

“Very curious,” Luna said simply before looking distant for a second.

“You’re not worried, frightened, or appalled?” I asked, truly surprised by her reaction.

“It is not outside the realm of possibility that there are worlds or dimensions that have such things occur. I cannot judge your people and what happens in your world on second hand accounts. While it is sad to hear of such things, I will not hold it against you or humans in general,” she said with a small smile. Though it instantly grew into a large grin before she added a second part. “Plus, Twilight Sparkle met a ‘horse’ in the human world she went to, so it’s not as surprising as you think.”

“Oh … continue then,” I said.

Luna simply giggled before continuing to answer my question. “The Saddle Arabians used to be nomadic, but during the past thousand years have settled and become a rather rich nation, lavish in their ways. They are one of the smaller nations in terms of population, but that hasn’t held them back in any way shape or form. They are also one of the three nations that does not have access to magic in some form, naturally. Many can learn earth pony and zebrican ways, but it is through dedication that they do. Often they rely on ingenuity to help them, much like the Minotaur nation.”

“Tayros, yes? Trixie mentioned it once or twice,” I interjected.

“That is indeed their country’s name. The minotaurs ar-” I held up a hand for Luna.

“To help with your explanation, let me tell you that many species in this world of yours, are myths from an ancient civilization in my world. So you don’t need to bother explaining the minotaurs.”

“Hmm, now that is odd. Something to ponder later I think,” she said before returning to her little lecture. “Now, in Tayros, the minotaurs are very bright and open minded. They have had the disadvantage of being like the yaks in that they can’t use magic at all. Of course that hasn’t stopped them. Their physiology has helped them become the engineering geniuses of the world. They have invented many of the tools that are used in Equestria, sometimes in collaboration and sometimes just because they can. Thankfully their nation is extremely peaceful in how they act. For the most part, you will never find a nicer being than a minotaur, though that doesn’t mean they aren’t skilled in the more … physical altercations. History has proven why they have been at peace for so long; second only to Equestria. The nation itself is ancient by all means and is often the site of many archaeological expeditions.”

That last line got my attention, and Luna just smirked at how I perked up. I wanted to tell her that she had played me like a fiddle but I kept quiet, not giving her the satisfaction.

“Finally, there is Zebrica. Their nation is very similar to Equestria, but you could say it holds mysticism in higher regard. Many arrogant and speciesist ponies often view them as nothing more than barbarians just because they hold onto their ancient ways. It is actually very amazing at everything they can do. Though this isn’t to say that they haven’t changed and embraced the world as it is. Since you know what a Zebra is, I guess the last bit to say is that Zebras are very skilled in alchemy and enchanting. We do a lot of trade for their herbal medicines, and in return we help them with the weather,” Luna said before doing a little stretch to pop her back. This girl was after my own heart!

I only say that because in my entire life, I’ve been addicted to having to crack my back. Moving on!

“Well that was one hell of an info dump,” I muttered as I contemplated my next question. “Alright, I’ve got my next question. Can you tell me about magic?”

Luna paused for a brief moment before smirking at the question. Unfortunately she couldn’t stop her laughter and it eventually came out at full force, snorts and all. I felt like I was being mocked at what she was doing, though I didn’t make it known until she eventually calmed down. When she did, she looked at my face and noted the indignation on it.

“I’m sorry, Ryan … I didn’t mean to act like that,” she said in what was easily the most shamed look I had ever seen. “It’s just … it would take a long time to explain magic, even the basics to those who have no natural magic or were not born into a society that relies on magic. Even scholars and geniuses from other nations have trouble learning pony magic.”

I sighed at the explanation. It wasn’t the one I wanted, but at least she was sorry for her reaction. Though I did feel a little cheated. “I guess that suffices, but I think you owe me another question.”

“Ask away!” she replied, a little more chipper after the non-verbal scolding.

“When I arrive in Ponyville … what can I expect? A little voice in my head is saying I’m going to die when I arrive,” I asked, ending on an obvious joke.

“Haha, nothing of the sort. Ponyville, while being a relatively small town, has seen its fair shares of things that are abnormal. In fact, you could say it is the most abnormal town in this world, and that is not an exaggeration. It has seen many things that nopony would wish to see in their lifespan,” she said with a shake of her head. “To be honest, Ryan, you would probably be the most tame thing to enter that town in a long time.”

“So no getting blasted by these Elements of Harmony?”

“Oh Faust, no! The Elements are nothing like that, and even if one were to get blasted, it only affects those with evil or malice in their hearts,” Luna said lightly before getting serious. “Now, where did you hear about them?”

“Trixie apparently knows them or at least one of them. She mentioned it during one of our conversations,” I said with a shrug. Luna knew that I was only giving a half truth in terms of when we talked about it, I could tell by the look on her face. Eventually though, the hard studying to see if I was lying gave way to a sigh of relief.

We ended up just sitting there for a little bit, allowing the soft rolling of the waves to fill the silence arounds us. I was pondering up what to say and ask next, which was probably what Luna was doing at the same time.

“Question for question?” I offered.

“Sure, but not too many, I have other duties tonight,” Luna said in reply.

“You can start then,” I offered.

“How do you plan to get home? For that matter, how did you arrive exactly?” she asked.

First question off and she dropped one of the big ones on me. Honestly up until that point I was basing my travels off the idea that I probably wouldn’t be going home. It didn’t even occur to me to think about asking the other two in my group about the statue and how I arrived. It was like my priorities had been turned around or something like that. Looking back, I realise that I truly should have made that my number one issue. Everything else? That could have been dealt with after I got some answers.

At that moment, though? I guess I had more of a sense of adventure than homesickness or any drive to return. Sometimes the moment takes away all sense of reality and causes you to lose track of the things that needed to be focused on.

“I actually hadn’t even thought of returning. I guess I kind of resigned myself to staying on this planet for the rest of my life. Well … perhaps that isn’t the right thing to say. It’s more that I’ve gotten caught up in being here that I’ve kind of forgotten that I am here unintentionally,” I said before taking a quick second to gather my own thoughts. “As for how I got here? Would you believe that I simply touched a carving?”

“A carving?” she asked incredulously, though I could also see some disbelief in her facial features.

“Indeed. Here, let me show you,” I said before mentally conjuring up the carving in front of us, placed on a little stand. There it was, exactly as it was in real life. Ivory carving that showed two pegacorns, or I guess alicorns in their case, intertwined like snakes. You guys remember it from the beginning right? Good.

“This is what you touched to take you here?” Luna asked in mild shock.

“Yes. It was sitting in a ruined museum,” I said in return.

“I’ve seen many statues like this before … a long, long time ago. It was just after my sister and I took rule over Equestria,” she said, inspecting it very closely. “They were nothing more than gifts and items to represent us …”

She looked back at me with a look of shock resting upon her face. “How the fuck did one get into your world?!”

I barely was able to hold back a chuckle at seeing the “Princess” swear so easily compared to other ponies. Truly, Luna was a good representation of a mare version of me.

“Beats me, all I know is that I found it and bam! Land of colourful ponies,” I said with a small laugh while spreading my arms out as if to mock a rainbow appearing.

“Hmm … I would suggest you bring this to the attention of Twilight Sparkle, Ryan. She would be the best bet at finding a way to send you home,” Luna suggested as she continued to look at the carving. “Despite my sister and I’s powers … we often enough do not have the knowledge of the intricacies that would make up such a feat.”

“Good enough plan for me,” I shrugged before thinking of something that would be hilarious to play out. “Luna, have you told your sister or anyone else of me?”

“I have not. I was going to speak to my sister though tomorrow. That decision was somewhat hinging on your questions,” she admitted.

“Don’t tell anyone,” I replied quickly.

“How come?” she asked, a little surprised and wary at the idea.

“Eventually, I’ll make my way to Canterlot, probably relatively soon. You know, exploring Equestria and all that. If I find a way, or perhaps if you find a way to get me an audience, I would love to have a laugh at your sister’s expense … if that is okay by you.”

Her face broke out into a maniacal grin. “I think we can arrange something.”

“I know just the thing to do. All you have to have ready is enough beer and or shots for a drinking contest,” I said with a devilish grin.

“You’ve got it … and I know how to get you into the castle for a meeting,” she said with a grin of her own. “Though it will require telling Twilight Sparkle about me … or should I say ‘my sister’ knowing you already.”

“Oh?” I asked, intrigued by what she was implying.

“I’ll simply forge a letter in my sister’s name requesting her to bring the being named Ryan to Canterlot. She’ll arrive and I’ll tell my sister that Twilight and her friends wished to visit … it will be glorious!”

“Now you are starting to thinking like a winner! Send that letter around … well a couple of hours after midday. We should be in Ponyville by noon according to Trixie,” I said. “I’ll need some time to help deal with a few things before you request their presence.”

“Done!” Luna said, followed by a small giggling fit. Eventually she calmed down and stood back up. “Well it seems I must be off for now, Ryan. We will talk in pony tomorrow if all goes well.”

“Have a good night, Luna,” I said. With only the nod of her head she disappeared from my dream in the blink of an eye, leaving me to the nice scenery.

For a little bit I simply sat there before I changed the entire scene to one of a happy moment in my life, allowing me a nice and peaceful night from there on out. Nah, I don’t feel like telling you about it, not that it's too personal or anything but more that it's a rather boring moment.

Part five done, beotches! Now, unless you brought alcohol and wish to drink, I think it is time you went home. The night’s dangerous to those who aren’t ready for it, even if we are within sight of the guards on the walls.

Oh and be ready for the next part … it’s going to be long if I have any say in it.

Author's Notes:

Chapter 5 is here! Things are moving along, albeit rather slowly as it is but that's only really due to the story's narration. Don't worry too much, more stuff happens with each additional chapter. Once chapter 10 hits, then you'll start seeing more and more plot advances and action befitting of this story! Just you wait :P

Now as for the Gilda moment, I told you earlier that this story has Griffonstone as being entirely different than the canon. Now I know it might feel like Gilda is being soft but without the Griffonstone episode, her character is up for grabs on why she is a bitch. Enter this background. Tough exterior because of life, but she's a little bit softer past that. Don't worry, Gilda won't lose her edge.

While it isn't metal, I loved this song when I was a little younger so I figured why not use the name. Here's You're Gonna Go Far, Kid - The Offspring

Leave comments and questions! If you want Ryan to respond to them in the story just ask it to 'Ryan.'