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One Punch Derpy

by ElementBrigade

Chapter 9: Chapter 9: Hero Association

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Chapter 9: Hero Association

(Maretropolis City - Hero Association HQ)

“Then it is decided that Mumen Rider will remain the top-ranked class C hero.” said a mare wearing a business suit.

“Understood. I’ll let him know.”

“I simply cannot understand why he has no desire to move up to class B? Seem like a waste to remain in that category.”

“Our next agenda item is the 55th Hero Certification Exam. For this exam, the total number of candidates is…” The colt said as he looked over to the mare standing behind a podium.

“11,684, with the exam offered at six different venues. That is an increase of more than 22% over the previous exam.” The mare said, causing almost everyone to gasp in excitement.

“We mustn’t be happy with simple quantity. Even with more candidates, if the quality of heroes is reduced, the numbers are meaningless. Therefore, we ought to be even more critical during evaluations. Also, I hear that a certain pony of interest is taking the exam this time.”

“Yes, it hasn’t been confirmed yet, but it seems very likely that she will.” The colt said, looking over a file that had Amethyst’s face on it.


(Hero Test, Location #6 -Sun Fransokyo)

“Why are we here again?” Derpy asked as, getting herself undressed behind a certain.

“It’s something that Tatsumaki wanted us to do. Seeing how we’ve been doing some heroic stuff in Maretropolis, we might as well register for the hero association.” Amethyst said as she leaned against a wall next to where changing room that Derpy was in. “Man look at this place. I never expected to see this many ponies taking the exam.” Amethyst said as she looked at the many different ponies taking the heroes exam. “Guess Tatsumaki, wasn’t kidding when she said that everypony would take the test.”

“I still think that they should change the whole clothing thing.” Derpy said as she walked over to Amethyst wearing nothing but a bra and undies. What took Amethyst by surprise was the fact that her aunt was standing on both her hind legs. “What?”

“Two questions. One, where did you get those clothing, and two how are you standing on your hind legs?”

“Well seeing how I’ve been wearing the suit, I might as well wear something underneath it, as for the hind legs part….I have not idea.”

“I guess I can understand the first part, but the second part...I’ll have to ask one of the doctors here about that. Anyway it looks like we’re up next for the exam.”

“You think we’ll be able to pass it? I’m not every good when it comes to taking test.”

“Yes….I remember what happen last time...how’d you end up burning the testing center to ground is still a mystery.” Amethyst said as she notice the line they were in starting to move. “Welp, wish me luck Aunty.”

“Good luck Amethyst.” Derpy said as she waved good-bye to her. “Alright Derpy, you can do this. Just because you’re accidentally burned down the last testing place, doesn’t mean it’ll happen again.” The mare said as she walked into the area of the exam with a confident look on her face. “Watch out world, because this pony will ace this exam.” She said as she didn’t notice a group of ponies behind her snickering.

“Wait, isn’t that the pony that keeps crashing into buildings?”

“What is she doing here? Shouldn’t she be trying to be a “hero” someplace else?”

“Bet you five bits that she’ll fail this exam.”

“Alright, the first test will be side-to-side jumps for thirty seconds!” The colt said as Derpy prepared herself. “Ready...Go!” A serious look appeared on the mare’s face as Derpy started to move side to side at a breakneck speed. The group of ponies that were watching gasped in shock at the way Derpy was moving. “Time!” The colt said as Derpy stopped and looked at the colt who had a surprised look on his face.

“How was that?”

“.....Um…..n-next exam.” He said as motion Derpy to follow him to a open track field. “Next, the 1500-meter run. We will test on your stamina and speed.” Derpy nodded as she readies herself at the starting line. “Go!” Like a bullet being fired from a gun, Derpy bolted off and ran around the track. As the runners continues their running, they notice Derpy running past them multiple time. Just as the other ponies were preparing the finish line for the other ponies, the line was cut as Derpy ran through it.

“Yay! I win! This is the first time I actually won something like this! Anything else that I need to do?”

“.....This is going to be a very short exam for this mare if this keeps happening.”


(A few hours later, Mare’s Locker room)

“Finally done with all the tests.” Derpy said as she start to put on her blue and white hoodie and black skirt. “Now I just wait for the results.” She said as she soon notice Amethyst walking over to her. “Oh, hey Amethyst. You’re done too?”

“Yeah, it was a pain. Especially when it came to the written part of the exam.”

“Hey, is there a point in you taking the fitness tests? I mean after seeing how strong you are after recent events from before, I’m pretty sure they would’ve caught wind of you by now.”

“I’m sure they wanted to make sure I wasn’t cheating or anything. Kinda understandable when you think about it.”

“I guess you’re right. So how was it?”

“Both the written and fitness test were far too easy. Guess being a bookworm finally paid off in the end.”

“Is that all you need to become a hero?”

“I doubt it, but after recent stuff involving wanna be heroes you can’t really blame them for having them hold an exam like this.”

“I’m a bit surprise that Lance isn’t here to see this. You think he’s busy with something important?”

“Oh he’s here, but he’s taking a different kind of exam from what Tatsumaki told me over the communicator.”

“Really? What did he get on the exam?”

“A class, surprisingly. We should be getting our results soon actually. 70 points is a passing grade. The written test was so easy that anypony could get full points on it.”

“Ugh, I can tell I’m going to fail that one.”

“Did you not do anything for the written part of the test?”

“No, I just filled in most of the answers with muffin related stuff. The multiple choice answer one...well I just made a smiley face on it.”

“....How did you pass high school is still a mystery to me. At least tell me you did well on the fitness part of the exam?”

“I did, but I think they might not want me to be here again.”

“Why is that?”

“Because I broke most of the equipment they have here.”

“Why am I not surprise that this would happen.” Amethyst thought as she shook her head at a thought of Derpy at a gym working out. Before she could say something, the cyborg pony received a message from her communicator. “Looks like we got the notification for our test results.”

“Oh, what did you get on it?”

“It says I’m certified as a class S hero.”

“Congratulations my little muffin.” Derpy said as she hugged and nuzzled Amethyst cheek. “I knew you would pass it.”

“Aunty, please. You’re embarrassing me.” Amethyst said as she blushed from the sudden hug/nuzzle.

“Hey, what did I get on it?” Derpy asked as the cyborg looked up the results for her Aunt.

“Um....you sure you want to know the results on your exam?” Amethyst asked as the mare nodded in excitement. “You….um…..got a 71 on the exam.”

“Neat….what class am I in? I bet I’m in the same class as you are.” Derpy said as a confident look appeared on her face, only to disappear upon what came next.

“It….means that you’re a class C hero.” Upon hearing that, a stoic expression appeared on the mare’s face..

“Oh…..C-C class hero….w-well at least it’s better than an E or something right?”

“Maybe I should have a word with the ponies in charge of this test?”

“Don’t do that! It’ll be embarrassing if you do that!” Just as they were about to leave, the entercom from above them caught their attention.

“Ms. Amethyst, Ms. Derpy, there will be a seminar for successful candidates at 4:00 pm. Please come to lecture hall #3.”

“Guess we’ll have to go to hall #3 before we can leave.” Amethyst said as she looked over at Derpy, who was still depressed from the results of her exam.

“All right, come on. All that really matters is we passed. Let’s get it over with and go home so I can sleep this off.” Derpy said as she started to walk off to said location.

(Lecture Hall #3)

“First, congratulations on passing.” Sneck said as he looked at Amethyst and Derpy who was chewing on a piece of bubble gum. “Now one of you only made it on a fluke, so unless you want your luck to go to waste, I better see you giving it your all.” He said as the expressions on both mare’s faces haven’t change. “And don’t get all puffed up! From here on, keep your hero status in mind and act modestly! After all, your faces will be placed on the Hero Association website.” As the colt wearing a snake like colored suit continues his lecture, Derpy was busy chewing her bubble gum as she began to make a bubble with it.

“Did you hear me? That goofy expression on your face is gonna be shown to the whole world. If you don’t want to humiliate yourselves.” The colt soon jumped onto the desk as he started to perform martial art moves. “Aspired to be a fine hero like me!” Just as he said that, there was a moment of silence until the bubble that Derpy was blowing into popped and covered her face.

“GAH! Amethyst, help! I can’t see anything other than the color pink!”

“I told you not to blow bubbles after what happened the last time.” Amethyst said as she start to pull the bubble gum off Derpy’s face.

“As a class A hero, I have some influence over the Association. I’ll make sure those who behave irresponsibly…” With a slam of his hoof to the desk, a serious/scary look appeared on his face. “Lose points and get demoted. Don’t you forget it!”

“I wonder what I should make for dinner today?” Derpy thought as she pulled the last piece of bubble gum off her face.

“.......This mare is either really stupid or lucky if she was able to pass this exam.”


(Afternoon, Maretropolis City)

“Finally, it’s over.” Derpy said as she and Amethyst made their way down the street of Sun Fransokyo. “Any sooner and I would’ve fell asleep during that pony’s lecture.”

“Well it’s pretty much a standard thing in the Hero Association.” Amethyst said as she looked over to brochure. “Apparently, the Hero Association was formed about three years ago.”

“So it’s only been three years?”

“It was after the daughter of a billionaire called Filthy Rich was attacked by a monster. The child was saved by a passerby. WHen Filthy Rich heard what had happened, he came up with this system and used his fortune to establish the Hero Association.”

“Well, they put on some pretty boring seminars.”

“Question, did ever talked to you privately?” Amethyst asked, causing Derpy to think for a moment.

“Nope, they didn’t talk to me in private or anything. Why, did they talked to you in private?”

“Yeah, it was about the house of evolution.”

“Oh, you mean the place with that weird giant bug beetle thing?”

“Yeah, they were wondering who it was that destroyed the build. So I said that I did. That might be the reason why I was bump into S class hero.”

“I’m so proud of you my little muffin.” Derpy said as she hugged Amethyst causing her to blush.

“I-In any case, as new heroes, we’ll be known around the world. Now we can work with our heads held high.”

“Aren’t are heads already held up high?”

“...It’s a figure of speech Aunty.”

“I didn’t know you were good at speeches.”

“...Never mind, let’s just go home and see what we can make for dinner-.”

“HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!” said a familiar voice as Derpy and Amethyst looked around to see where the voice was coming from. “The hero seminar isn’t over yet.” Appearing from out of nowhere, the pony by the name of Sneck appeared in the direct path of the two mares.

“Hey, isn’t that the pony from the the hero association the gave us that lecture?” Derpy asked, looking at Amethyst who was in a defensive stance.

“In this business there a little thing we like to call hero crushing. A lot of us heroes hate the prospect of being out ranked.” Sneck said as he stood on his hind legs and took up a fighting stance. “So we crush newbies. With moves like this!” He said, charging at Derpy as he punches her in the face. “Got you now you little-” Before he could finish that sentence, Derpy quickly delivered a punch to Sneck’s face sending him flying into the ground face first.

“.....Okay...well that just happen.” Amethyst said as she looked over at Derpy. “You okay.”

“Wow, guess we should’ve pair more attention to that lecture Sneck was giving us.” Derpy said as she start to continue walking. “Let’s make sure we keep a close eye on our surroundings from here on out. Don’t want to get a surprise attack test thing from somepony else from the Hero Association.”

“Yeah…” Amethyst looked over at the unconscious pony for a moment before catching up with Derpy. “I better have a word with Derpy tomorrow morning. I wanna see something for my.”

Next Chapter: Chapter 10: Testing the limits Estimated time remaining: 7 Minutes
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