You ever get that feeling when you wake up and you have a numb arm or leg, and when you try to move it, it tingles and stings like hell?

Well, when I woke up I found my whole body to be tingling and stinging, and let me tell you.

It fucking sucks balls.

I mean really, this feels a whole lot worse than that one time I fell off the roof of my house when I was putting up Christmas lights. Sure it hurt like hell for an hour at best but god damn did it feel like the worst thing on the planet.

Peeling myself off the ground I felt pain lance through my body, something which shouldn't be there because this is just me sleeping in my bed back home, maybe this is a lucid dream? Anyways when the pain came and went I looked at my surroundings to find that I am still in the Abysmal Abyss, but instead of only being near the top of the abyss, I was now at what must be the bottom of the abyss, my gold idol sitting right at my feet but I now feel a rather idol shaped lump on my head where it used me as a cushion.

Groaning at the pain that decided to stay behind and remind me that this hunk of gold that the griffons love more than anything else used me to soften its landing, I looked down and saw that the idol was still intact, or as intact as it can be since I don't know if any part of it is missing. Grabbing the idol I looked it over, finally noticing that I must have only been knocked out for a few moments because the sun is shining directly down the abyss, providing me with the necessary light that I will need to escape this hole in the ground and see my treasure.

The griffon idol, made out of pure gold due to how heavy it is, has a unique shape.

Its appearance is at first that of a gold chalice, a thick flat base to stand on, and within the cup shape itself is a seemingly out of place brightly glowing red orb, and what looks like a gold featureless griffon skull.

This thing would really go great on my mantle, it might even be a great conversation piece!

Anyways, when I picked up the gold idol I realized that I am going to be having a hard time lugging this thing all the way back up what might be a mile of rough and quite possibly slippery rock.

Fuck. My. Life.

"This damn thing better be worth a bloody fortune cause there is no way in hell I am going to be happy if I only get a pat on the back and a thumbs up for returning this thing. And I swear to god if my reward surmounts to a thank you then I will just chuck this thing back into the abyss." I muttered darkly to myself as I tried to figure out how I am going to get back up the abyss wall.

I didn't have enough rope to make the climb back up, I didn't have any rock climbing shoes nor did I have any rock picks to climb with. In all I can say that this is surely a pickle that I am caught in.

'Okay...a heavy idol, no real means of climbing back up...no friends to call upon...how am I going to do this.'

Calling upon my inner reserves of intelligence and cunning, my mind came up with a brilliant plan that can not possibly fail.

I am going to climb the rock wall, without wearing any shoes or socks. If I can catch my underwear with just my feet after taking them off and flinging them in the air, then I am sure I can scale a rock wall with no problems.

'Come on monkey feet don't fail me now!'

Placing one foot in front of the other I grabbed my idol and stuffed that little golden bastard into my backpack before making my first and probably not my last attempt at climbing to freedom.

One foot in front of the other I slowly made my way upwards, slow as molasses in winter I went up and up, nearly slipping and eating shit in the process but I made my way upwards.

At the progress of a snail I scaled the rock wall, I muttered curses and swears because honestly, this sucks for a beginner quest. Honestly if a game ever did this to me I would either fail it on purpose or just abort it upon receiving it cause this is bullshit to the highest degree. Oh go to this massive crack in the ground and retrieve our lost sacred idol! Just make sure you don't mess up on the way down or else you will spend the rest of your life climbing back up! They should have slapped a warning sticker on this thing cause damn this sucks major ass.

I had to keep stopping on my way up to rest and recover, my hands and feet are hurting something fierce along with my back aching from having to carry what must be a several pound/possibly a hundred pound gold idol, for so many minutes, probably an hour or two already. Not only do I have no idea on how to properly climb a mountain but I have no idea if what I am doing is a good idea, I mean I got a gold idol, probably has the density of a dying star and if I fell and landed on it, it would more than likely break my spine and kill me.

So no real pressure in not fucking up and falling to my death.

Grabbing a small ledge I hoisted myself up, making sure that I have a firm footing and a strong grip on the handhold I got before moving ever upwards, I do not want to be stuck down here like that one guy...forgot his name but he was stuck in the middle of bum fuck nowhere and his arm was stuck between a rock and a hard place.

No way in hell am I going to cut my arm off if I get stuck, how the hell will I masturbate with just one arm?

'Just keep climbing, don't look down, and for the love of god don't panic!'

That was my mantra for the past hour and let me tell you something, it is hard as hell to climb a rock wall with no harness, rope or tools. I nearly fell five times and that was all in the exact same spot so I had to pause, move a few feet to the left and climb back up cause if I am almost falling to my early demise in that spot then it means that it can't be trusted.

I do not know how long it has been since I fell down this hole or even how much time has passed since I started to climb but I can already feel my body trying desperately to shut down to recharge because I am feeling like I did a single round with a boxing champion and got my ass savagely handed to me. Before my body decided to do a forced shutdown I finally gave in and with the small crawlspace that I had managed to find before I would plummet do my death I crawled into it and stopped to rest.

Now normally this would be about the right time for a swarm of bats to wake up and ruin my day by flying right at me to dislodge me from their home, but instead I was greeted by nothing and was allowed to sleep off the exhaustion that has crept up upon me during this vigorous workout session.

My recovery rest would have been a complete success if it weren't for one little problem...

You see, while I had my eyes closed and my back facing the small crawlspace that I was using, it apparently was a secret entrance used by a race of beasts that I was told about and to avoid meeting but I was unfortunately unable to do anything about it because when one is asleep, snoring loudly and is not paying any attention then one can say that you are rightfully fucked.

With my eyes closed and back facing the darkness, I failed my Listen check and while I was off in La-La Land, I was met with a terrible fate.

The pitter patter of padded feet silently snuck up on me during my trip to Snoozeville, and in that silence I was rudely awoken by the rough handling that I received. Big meaty hands covered my mouth and throat along with another pair of big meaty hands grabbed me by the ankles before dragging me into the darkness.

All I could do at that point was angrily shout at myself for secretly failing my Spot Check earlier before being once again conked on the back of the head.

---

You ever get that feeling, you know the one I am talking about.

That feeling where you are in a huge heap of trouble and there is possibly no way that you can get out of it without paying some sort of price in the end? Well, I am about to have that moment and I can say that I am not going to like the price I am going to pay to get out of it.

Groaning in pain from having my head whacked once more and from being roughly manhandled I wake up to see that I am no longer in the abyss but now in a proper cave.

A cave that just so happened to have some crude torches, rusty metal bars and smells like shit.

Wrinkling my nose at the atrocious smell I shook the sleepiness from my eyes and as soon as they adjusted to the low amount of light I looked around and I saw what looks like a dozen of griffons, all of them wearing shackles on their back legs and on their wings, something that looks like a minotaur and something else. Something that I know that shouldn't exist in my dreams.

Not even sure what part of the quest I am on but this is the first strangest thing to happen to me.

Sitting amongst the griffons and lone minotaur was a horse and yet it isn't entirely. It's color is off from the normal colors that it normally should be, its hella dark, like dark as night dark. It had bat wings which I know for a fact that horses don't have, so it isn't a horse and last time I checked my mythological crap, a Pegasus is a horse with feathery bird wings, not leathery, fleshy wings. This thing also had fuzzy little ears instead of the normal little almond shaped ears that a normal horse has. And also this horse had fangs.

Let that sink in a bit.

Fucking. Fangs.

You know, fangs, the things that all meat eaters have or should have. The sharp teeth that is used to rip and tear into tasty, cooked flesh with ease before shredding it into even smaller bits to swallow down without choking on it.

Well, this horse has fangs, has dark fur and a set of bat wings. I don't know about you but that is usually something evil and can't be trusted to not do something devious behind your back. That horse has evil demon written all over it.

And the first thing it did was get up from its resting spot and rushed me before jumping into the air with its wings spread out and a pissed off look in its eyes.

And my first reaction to it was to punch it right in the muzzle.

I know that isn't the nicest of things to do when you first meet someone, but I am not going to get killed off on my first quest by a demon bat horse. That is a low way to die, even for someone like me. And besides it was a just punch to the muzzle and not say, its balls if its a guy. I sure as hell can't tell its gender cause I didn't have enough time to check the plumbing when I first saw it.

Now this is the second strangest thing to happen to me.

It talked.

"I am going to kill that stupid mutt!" Yeah, first time meeting this thing and it calls me a mutt. You know what, sorry mom but being nice to someone you meet shouldn't always happen.

The bat horse tried to take a second swing at me but like before I punched it in the muzzle but this time I grabbed it by the hair on the back of its head, slammed its four foot tall body into the rusty bars before tossing it on the ground and sitting on top of it.

"Get off of me you mangy mutt!"

"Are you going to calm down and be civilized or are you going to continue to be an asshole?" I said as I kept one hand on its head and the other on its rear, ready to give it a punch or a tail pull if it tries to get all uppity with me.

I found this to be amusing, the demon bat horse tried to get up but when I pulled on its tail and hair at the same time it stopped immediately and let out a whimper of defeat, or annoyance, I don't really know but I find this to be pleasing because every attempt it made to escape from underneath me I would only need to give a tug to make it stop.

"So are you done being an asshole or do I have to keep on tugging?" I asked as I gave another tug but this time it was weaker.

'The message I was giving was clear as day, stop being rude and I will get off of you and stop tugging your hairs.'

It didn't take long for the bat horse to get the message and as soon as it did it surrendered to me, lowering its head and let out a snort of defeat.

Achievement Unlocked: Defeat the Demon Bat Horse

As soon as it submitted itself to me in defeat I slowly got off of its back before backing away from it, I rather not get bitten by it let alone have it kick me. Being too close to something that clearly hates me is a sure fire way to get hurt or worse killed.

"Ha! See what happens when you try to fight something smarter than you, you get your flanked kicked!" One of the griffons said to the bat horse, mocking it as it turned around and went back to the griffon pile.

"Oh shut up you twat muffin, how was I supposed to know that dog is smarter than the ones holding us down here?" The bat horse said, clearly speaking with a masculine voice. At least I did a beat down on a guy and not a chick, would make me feel like shit for harming a lady...erm...mare?

Would it still be considered animal cruelty since I was harming this horse demon?

"I don't know, maybe ask him before rushing in head first. That's how you got yourself stuck down here with the rest of us." Another griffon said, this time this particular griffon was female as I could tell by the softer tones that was used.

"Yeah! Because of you and your big mouth all of us are now stuck down here until either my father finds out that I have been kidnapped by a bunch of Diamond Dogs or until that princess of yours gets off her fat flank and sends out a contingent of guards to rescue us." The same female griffon said but this time with a clear hint of annoyance and anger in her voice.

"Hey! Don't you dare say such things about Princess Luna! If it wasn't for her then you griffons would be-"

"Really? Are you seriously trying to pull that card out of your flank? What about what your princess did a thousand years ago. Because of her the entire world was almost frozen over cause of her stupid jealousy over her sister's sun, and what did she get for her troubles? A thousand years on the very same moon she tried to kill us all with." Wow, so a bat horse has a princess bat horse that tried to kill the planet with the moon? God damn that is straight up evil, why was she not executed? That would have been global extinction if she managed to make it work!

As those griffons and bat horse argued I walked to the minotaur who was ignoring me and was watching them fight it out with words, squabbling like a bunch of children fighting for a shiny stone.

When I stopped beside the minotaur I found that I am shorter then him, and I know its a male because of the loincloth he was wearing. That and was muscular as hell, had a goatee, big ass bull horns, and he looked like he was not giving a single fuck.

Sliding up to him I waited for him to notice me but when he didn't I let out a cough and when he turned his head to look at me I saw him let out a snort before acknowledging my presence.

"So......what are those two fighting about?" I asked as I watched the squabble slowly get louder.

The large mass of grey-blue muscle nudged his head over at the group before speaking up, pointing at one then the other.

"The thestral over there is trying to defend his princess's honor although she pretty much is hated by many for what she did over a thousand years ago and the griffon he is shouting at is the current griffon king's only heir and daughter. She is yelling at him because his princess is pulling in a favor that she got from the griffon king before her banishment and she is now using said favor, but seeing how the griffons are currently in dire straights because of some sacred relic going missing. In all tensions are high between the griffons and the ponies and seeing how the princess is demanding that the griffons help her with something while the griffons are pretty much stuck between saying piss off and yes while they try to find their lost treasure." The minotaur says while shifting his weight to his right cloven hoof, one of his meaty hands stroking his goatee while watching the petty argument unfold.

"Wow, that sucks." I said, my eyes looking at the female griffon and just now I can see why the minotaur would say that this particular griffon is a princess. Her feathers and fur looks well taken care of than those around her, and although they are slightly dirty from being in this obvious prison cell she still looks like she has only been outside for at most an hour, her talons are sharp and well manicured if that is a thing here, and she does not look like she has been messed with by the dogs so they are treating her as a high class hostage.

If I was a griffon and had a chance I would probably take a run at her if you know what I mean.

"Aye, it does."

As we both watched the group squabble and argue, we were eventually pulled away from it when the door to this rust bucket was pushed open and stepped in was a group of armed and armored dogs.

These must be the Diamond Dogs that Greta was talking about. From what I can see, these dogs are just as tall as I am, some of them are taller and others are smaller so at least I know they are somewhat like humans. Their fur color ranges from the colors of the dogs back home and their heads also vary just like dog species. Bipedal dogs wearing slightly rusty metal armor, holding metal spears, and their arms are huge compared to their legs, must be an evolutionary response or something.

While these dogs were trying to break them up one of the large ones looked at me before barking something at the dogs heading towards the griffons and demon bat pony.

"You! New Dog! Alpha wants see you!" And before I could try to say that I am not a dog two of the armored d-dogs pulled themselves from the squabble and came right at me before grabbing my shoulders and dragged me out of the prison cell.

For some reason I felt a chill run down my spine as I get dragged off to parts unknown within the cave, I don't know why but I got an inkling of a feeling that something bad is going to happen to either me or one of the people in the prison cell.

'Well...this can't be good. Does this mean I failed my quest to retrieve the sacred idol?'

Next Chapter: Well...this is unexpected. Estimated time remaining: 17 Hours, 49 Minutes