As soon as I was removed from what is obviously the prison cells that these diamond dogs have in their possession, I was dragged out of said room before turning abruptly and dragged even further out before being pushed down and then hauled back up by the second guard dog.

"Walk!" And without even trying to fight back I silently agreed to this before walking and following behind the first dog.

Resuming our walk through the rough stone halls of the cavern I looked around as much as I could with my arms being tightly held, I saw several branching caverns leading to parts unknown along with several more diamond dogs patrolling the halls, all of them male, and on occasional non-guard dogs milling about, some look like miners if their plain vest-like shirts are anything to go by along the fact that they are also wearing dog collars with a name tag on it as well.

While I was busy looking at the passing group of diamond dogs, the big brute behind me poked me in the ass with the sharp, rusty-looking point of the spear, earning a small yelp of shock from me.

"Hey! Take it easy with the prodding, I can walk on my own!" I said while growling at the dog in heavy armor behind me, all he did was let out a gruff of annoyance while rolling his eyes but for the most part he stopped with the butt jabbing.

And that was when I saw my first female diamond dog, and I must say...for a race of talking dogs with pretty large arms and are quite possibly dumber than a sack of hammers, she looks pretty good.

I mean, for a diamond dog and only for other diamond dogs. Not that I am saying that I was looking or anything but still...they for some reason have the weakness that all men fall for.

That ass and those tits.

I spent too much of my time looking at porn...I need help.

While I was busy gawking at the few passing females one of my captors looked back at me and chuckled at my staring before speaking up.

"Look, new dog like our breeders."

Wait, breeder? And lo and behold what this dog said was true, cause from what I know about people that have to many children, they get those wide breeding hips, their bust goes up, and it pretty much is throwing a hotdog down a hallway.

Why did I look at that website...now I need brain bleach!

"Ha! Like he got chance, he shaven, no breeder will rut him."

Ouch...my pride...wait...why am I hurt from that? Sorry boys humans only for me, I've seen enough shit on the internet to steer clear away from the freaky shit.

...

Okay maybe just one round.

Or two...

Damn it, I spent too much time on the internet and look at what it did to me...well...maybe just one time wouldn't hurt me...

"Doubt Alpha would let him breed, he been shaved! Most he useful is the mines!"

The mines? Oh hell no I am not being turned into forced labor! I am a man damn it! A man with a high school diploma and some college experience!

Eventually after being dragged around for five minutes we reached what must be the alpha dog's room, and how could I tell it was his room?

Cause it was being guarded by two even burlier, stronger looking guard dogs with even better looking armor and weapons that look like they have been maintained and cared for. And how else was this the alpha's room? Cause it smells like straight up dog and also because when one of the big guard dogs opened the door while the other pushed me in, the room itself looks like something only a bandit king could have.

Stolen treasures line the walls, ill gotten loot cover the floor near the obviously stolen queen-sized bed, portraits of random important beings hang from the walls with gemstones placed underneath them.

And sitting on top of a pile of gold coins and precious gemstones was the sacred griffon idol.

'Fucking shit, how the hell am I going to get that thing back now?'

Seeing me look at all of its stolen loot with wonder, the alpha of the dog pack lets out a barking laugh, making me face him and I watched as he sat on his throne, an expensive looking chair with an extended back, and by god...this dog truly is deserving of the title of Alpha.

This dog, if you can even call him that, is more wolf-like in appearance than he is a dog. This Alpha is tall, easily topping six feet tall and then some, his coat of fur is silver, not sure if that is its natural color or if he is just old. Looking into his eyes I can easily tell that they are blue-ish in color and that they carry the weight of an entire clan of idiots and determination to set them straight, but for the most part I can say that he has his work cut out for him. And from what I saw earlier, most diamond dogs were either wearing a vest of sorts and a collar, or plain metal armor but this guy is wearing what looks like chainmail with metal plates covering the torso, left shoulder and right forearm, and painted rather crudely on his chest was a white wolf head howling at something, probably the moon.

'Man, this guy is either a really successful raider or he has been around for a long while.'

"So, you must be the surface dog that my sentries have found by one of many entrances." The alpha dog said as he leaned back into the chair, relaxing a bit as his eyes looked at me, studying every detail on my person.

"Uhhhh yeah, I am." I said, technically I am from the surface so that isn't a lie.

Just a half truth...well 3/4 lie and 1/4 truth.

"From where on the surface do you hail from?" And that right there made me pause.

Where do I hail from? Well...they don't have California in the dream realm cause I didn't put it here so where else could I place as my hometown?

Well I got Griffonstone, and...well...that's it I guess, I didn't even bother to learn about other places so I guess I will just wing it.

"I call the city on the mountain my home." Please take the lie, please take the lie, please take the lie!

Crossing my fingers behind my back I repeated that little mantra over and over as the big wolf g thought it over before nodding sagely for a moment before speaking up.

"I see, and I see you have adopted their unique...customs to survive amongst them. Good, I have need of your services." The alpha said again but this time grabbing a small bag of what I can only guess is coins and threw it at me.

Catching the bag out from the air I pulled it towards me before opening it up, and what I saw made the inner greedy dwarf squeal out in joy.

Gold! Precious, precious gold! Sparkly, shiny, glittery gold coins!

And this sack is the equivalent size of a shopping bag from Stater Bros. with the exception that its made of burlap and it is heavy as a fifteen pound weight.

But totally worth whatever it is this guy wants me to do! Right?

"What is it that you need of me?" I asked as I once again looked at the coins before pulling one out to look at it.

The coin itself seemed real, it had the same weight of four quarters glued together, made of gold, and for some reason has the sun imprinted on it. Flipping the coin over I saw that it had a moon on it and without even thinking I bit down on the coin to see if it was real just like the cartoons and it did just like the show, it was real.

Thank god it wasn't made of wood.

"I need you..."

Oh god no

"To teach my son how to read."

Oh thank god...

Wait, what?

As I stood there and the alpha sat there I had enough to think of a proper response and to me I think this was the best answer that I can give at the time.

But sadly before I can utter those words the door to the room opens up suddenly yet slowly and stepping in is the cutest, most adorable thing I have ever seen.

It was a small grey puppy, and it was wearing a small vest and was holding a wooden sword in its paws. This little tyke had the same grey fur that a few diamond dogs have but his eyes matches his father.

In all he just looks absolutely adorable that it can make even the most hardened criminals soften up.

"Dada." The pup said with the most adorable eyes ever.

I felt my heart melt, not literally but still, it is just so damn cute! Why must it know one of my many weaknesses!

"I take it that this is one I am supposed to teach?" I said as I looked at the pup who looked up at me before gnawing on the handle of the wooden sword.

"Yes, that is my son, his name is Thane and do please take your time with your lessons. He is how you surfacers call, a slow learner."

OH boy...a slow learner, well I guess I will just be just like my math teacher then. That bastard drilled those examples into my head until all I could hear was how X plus Y would equal C along with another X plus Y would equal C, and then solve it by the elimination process.

I felt my brain melt itself as I relived those college moments, how could such a teacher do such a thing to his students I will never know.

But now I get to do the same thing to this kid! The cycle continues uninterrupted!

"Oh...OH...oh...well...shit." And oh shit indeed, the few times I gave advice was through a chat room but all I said was either for them to sink or swim, or actual advice on how to do things.

I guess this time I actually have to say helpful things and teach this pup how to read. Maybe while I am at it I can get my treasure back and book it.

"Now, take some time to construct your lesson plans or whatever it is you surface-dwellers do. Guard!" The alpha shouted and like magic one of the large burly dogs opened the door and stepped in.

"Take our friend here and show him to his room, it is the one that was just created. And do be gentle, surface-borns are not as hardy or durable as us." And with that said the dog gently poked me with his spear before directing me to my new home.

And by gently I mean it had the same strength when someone pokes your cheek with a finger, it was weak but I still felt it.

The pup looked at me with those big sparkly eyes as I left the room while the big alpha turned his attention to his son and as I left the room he started to talk but it was in a language that I couldn't understand.

In fact, how the hell did I even understand anything that they are saying in the first place? I mean different race of beings, all the ones I met so far all spoke perfectly understandable English, something that probably shouldn't be because I just met what is four new species and they all got a common language.

Either everyone developed the same culture and lived among one another, or this dream is just compensating. Either way I love it, if I can understand what they are saying and they can understand me then this is all good, good dreams!

But what isn't good about this dream was the room I was given.

You see, it was the fucking prison cell, minus the occupants, the rusty metal bars and most importantly, the evil bat horse that tried to take a bite out of me.

All I had was a stone slab that served as a bed, a small round area where a hole in the floor is located which must be the toilet, and that's it.

I am not pleased with this crap.

When I turned around to talk to the dog I saw that he was standing guard by my door, almost like he was trying to keep me safe although I am more than capable of keeping myself alive, after all one of the most decisive things to do when fighting someone is to either get the first, fast blows in, or pull out a handful of pocket sand and throw it in their face to make a tactical retreat.

'This place really needs to get with the times...these dogs act like god damn goblins, and not even the good kind.'

'They don't even have basic doors or a carpet! If this alpha only cares about himself and family then sooner or later one of these dogs who has more than two brain cells would try to rise up. That or if I threw a wrench into these parts and get these dogs to be smart for a change of pace...nah. I am not going to stick my nose into this business, just do this job, get it done, steal back my treasure and getting the hell out of here. I just gotta hope that it doesn't vanish behind my back.'

Looking back at the guard before walking over to my stony bed I laid down on it before shutting my eyes to rest, I had to use my arms as a pillow because apparently these dogs don't believe in them, or blanks for that matter. I can only contemplate as I earned myself a power nap as to what the hell am I going to do about this whole teacher situation.

'I am so boned...'

The morning sun rose over the horizon and the dawn made its appearance, to those on the surface it looks stunning but for those below ground and myself, all I had to see was nothing but stone walls and rocks.

Staring up at the ceiling I saw nothing but brown, cleanly cut stonework, my sleep for the most part was undisturbed but in all it was not good either. I kept waking up because of the constant clanking of metal-on-metal of the guard dog armor as they marched on their patrols, then there was the snoring and howling of the dogs in the caves that kept me up for most of the night.

I only had three hours of sleep before being rudely awoken by a guard dog. The bastard shook me awake and without even giving me the courtesy of apologizing.

All I could do was muster an angry glare and shoot it at the dog bothering me but all it did was make the dog pull me out of bed before pushing me out the door.

'Okay this already sucks...couldn't sleep, didn't take my morning shit-shower-shave, and now I am being rudely awoken by this asshole. I swear if this keeps up I am going to kill myself! I am going to stab myself in the gut, bleed all over the place and make these fuckers clean it up!'

Grumbling to myself I allowed myself to be led through the cave system, but this time I strained myself to memorize everything that I see in detail, if I am going to be stuck down here for however how long I need to be able to guide myself back. Also this has the added benefit of me being able to escape under my own power, and perhaps help those in the prison cell to escape.

We walked by what I think was a dining hall because I smelled what must have been cooked meat, and did I figure that out? Well when we walked by a larger-than-normal hole in the wall I saw several groups of dogs eating together and they each had their paws on a chunk of fire-cooked meat as I saw charred bits here and there, and it smelled good but I have a problem with this. I like my meat cooked, by cooked to the point where its lightly charred and not pink in the middle, color me surprised when I found out that Medium on the cooking scale has pink in the middle of my burger.

I was not pleased, at all.

Had to learn all the steps on the cooked meat scale to avoid that bullshit again, and now that I am in this dream I have to have my meat cooked on the fire longer than normal, probably have to do it myself.

But instead of getting breakfast meat like the others, I instead got pushed past the hole and was told to keep on walking.

'Wow, what a great first day on the job, they don't even let me eat! What kind of shitty place is this?'

While I thought up obscurities to say to myself on my forced walk to wherever it is that I am required to go to, I failed to see that the person that I am supposed to teach snuck up on us and was now following closely beside me. My Spot skill seems a bit rusty as I once again failed it when the young pup started to walk beside me, but after a while my Listen check came around and I succeeded this time.

"Good morning little Thane." I said while looking forward, the guard behind me straightened up when he realized that I wasn't talking to him and instead was talking to his boss's son. Strange how I was the only one to notice that there was a knee high dog walking...waddling beside me and managing to keep up.

When I looked down at him I saw that he stopped walking and raised his arms, his tiny paws opened before closing and opening once more.

This was the universal kid sign for 'uppies', and although I shouldn't lift him up and place him on my shoulders as he is someone else's kid, if I am to be in good favors with this kid's dad so I can get back my idol and leave this place behind, imma have to do it.

I won't like it, but it is better than the alternative of breaking and entering.

Seeing no other choice other than to ignore the pup and keep walking, I kneeled down and grabbed the pup under the arms and hoisted the young pup and placed him on my right shoulder which seems to excite him. I swear it seems that kids love climbing up on high places and being placed there without having to get hurt while climbing must have been a high point for the kid.

That or he just like uppies.

Now walking down the stone hallways with the alpha's pup on my shoulder and a guard dog walking closer behind me just in case the pup starts to fall backwards without me knowing.

After that it didn't take us long to arrive at the alpha's den and when we were led in it also began his son's lesson.

Teaching this dog would have been damn near impossible for me but luckily this alpha came prepared and gave me some 'acquired' books that look like they are meant for children that are in elementary school, clearly way above anything this pup is capable of understanding.

I just did what most people do in a situation like this.

I improvised.

"Alright Thane, now this is what we are going to do, I am going to say the letter, and you are going to repeat it back to me."

The young pup stared up at me with such a wide, expressive stare that I had to resist breaking down and showing love and affection to the pup but I pulled myself together and just had my cute overload inside my head while repeating what I just said to the kid.

His lesson was slow and I had to repeat myself several times, for a moment I thought I felt a blood vessel was about to pop on my forehead.

The alpha was watching us the entire time, a smirk on that muzzle of his as he watched me teach his son the ABC's. Although this first lesson was painful for me it sort of reminded me of the time I had to teach my nephew the exact same thing.

Repeating the alphabet, teaching him how to pronounce each letter, even going so far has to teach the pup how to say my name.

"Okay Thane, say Ian."

"Pfft." Thane blew a raspberry at me. This is one of the other things that he did during our lessons.

'I swear I am going to punt you if you do that again kid.'

"Now son, that is not nice and disrespectful to your instructor. Try it again." The alpha said before leaning forward and raising an eyebrow, somehow that worked on the pup and got him to say my name, but with a nervous undertone to it.

The pup seemed afraid of his father, and like children they are afraid of their parents when they are either disappointed in them or are mad and are directing said anger at them. Luckily this time it is just disappointment, and like disappointment it hurts like hell to be the target of it.

I don't know how long I have been at this but after a while the alpha said that we can stop for today, glad that we could stop because I am hungry and I swear if I see another guard munching on what I hope is beef jerky one more time I just might deck him just to get a bite of that sweet smoked and flavored meat.

That came out wrong, didn't it?

Eh fuck it.

Once the day for pup education was over with I was allowed to roam freely throughout this dog colony...home...pack...whatever the hell these dogs use to call themselves, but under a watchful eye of a guard dog.

At least this guard doubles as a guide as well, only there is one problem with the assigned dog.

"So whats like on the surface?"

"Do ponies really fly up there?"

"Does gryphons really sqwuak when surprised?"

"Are there any hot females up top?"

"You think I am fat?"

He does not know when to shut up!

I find the one diamond dog that is nice to me and is capable of a semi-higher thought process but he doesn't have a fucking off switch on his mouth!

"Do you think I have chance with a female?"

I could be a total asshole right now and say that he doesn't have a snowballs chance in hell, but instead I am going to be a bro and say exactly what he wants to hear so he gets a small boost to his ego.

"Sure man, you just got to be bold and be confident with yourself." That and probably have a big dick...that usually helps.

"You mean it?"

"Yeah, just make sure that you really mean everything that you say to this girl and just maybe she say yes to you. It's a 50/50 thing when it comes to ladies." That and girls really love money, a big home, tons of clothes that she might ot ever wear, too many damn shoes and purses, always fussing with their hair and complain about so much crap.

I just hope to god the women here aren't like the ones back home.

We once again walked in silence but this time the guard dog was walking beside me, a bit of pep in his step and his tail was wagging as if he just got a big juicy bone. Whatever makes him happy I guess, but its nice that I made a friend among the locals, now I just need to rethink my plan on how to get my treasure back, rescue the prisoners, and get the hell out of here.

And finally get myself some new clothes, I smell like shit.

Step 1: Get in good graces with the Alpha.
Step 1.5: Make some dog friends? Maybe? Side-objective?
Step 2: Steal back the Idol.
Step 2.5: Don't get caught stealing Idol!
Step 3: Rescue Prisoners.
Step 4: Escape Caves
Step 5: ???
Step 6: Profit