Leaving the store behind I pulled out the map that was given to me and as my eyes looked at it I had made the fatal error of not asking for directions.

Everything written on the map was written in a language that I couldn't read.

'Well, I guess that saying that men never ask for directions is true...where the hell am I going to find this abyss? Not like one someone is going to fall from the sky and then give me directions.'

And as soon as I thought that I heard someone shout 'watch out' that was immediately followed by the sound of something crashing into the ground. Turning to the source of the crash I saw a griffon lying in a heap of feathers and from how far I am I can't tell if it is a he or a she. I can only hope that I don't get it wrong and get clawed for my mistake, getting slap by a girl hurts like hell, getting slapped by a griffon probably entails getting clawed as well.

Taking a risk I headed over to the fallen griffon and as soon as I arrived the griffon was just getting back on its paws, shaking off the crash as it shook its head around. When I got closer I saw that the griffon in question had teal colored feathers around the eyes with an equally light blue eyes, the feathers on its head were slicked back in a soft fashion. Well I could call it a she seeing how the first few griffons I saw up close were male and they all looked bulky and large and the one in front of me looked softer and smaller.

That and her voice was that of a girl unless I was standing in front of a very effeminate male griffon.

Imagine my surprise if that was the case, I asked if she was okay and in turns out to be a dude and he actually likes it and tries to hit on me...I am not sure what I would do. Most certainly say no thanks but I would not be a dick and call him out on it, don't need to call someone out on their sexual preferences so as long as they don't try to rope me into something I don't like.

"Oww...did anygriffon get the name of that carriage that hit me?" the now obviously female griffon said as I watched her rise onto her paws. When she pulled herself up I saw that on her forehead was three teal feathers, probably acting as either a beauty mark or a natural birth mark or an equivalent form for feathers.

Walking up to her I grabbed a paw and pulled her up as she nearly fell over, the crash must have done more to her noggin than what she has thought.

"No I did not see the carriage that rammed you but I did see the fall you took." I said as I kept her steady, conking herself on the head on the way down did nothing to assure me that she is fine.

Placing a hand on her back to help her keep steady I watched the griffon...ess? Is that correct, griffoness? Or would it be hen? Lioness? Eh fuck it. I placed my hand on her back and watched as she stumbled around a bit before having her paws firmly planted on the ground.

"You okay?" I asked as I kept her steady, I learned that apparently in this dream that cartoon physics are in charge. This griffon fell what I can only estimate several dozen feet and when I pulled her up she wasn't even hurt, just dusty and a bit wobbly.

"Yeah...just a bit rattled around is all. Can't believe that idiot didn't see me flying, seriously how hard is it to see something like me moving through the air?" The female griffon said, her eyes wobbling around before straightening out and looking right at me.

I know that she was inspecting me because I did the exact same thing when I first got here and met my first griffon, I just guess that I am just something new that she hasn't seen before.

"Huh, your new around here aren't you?" the female griffon asked me as she shook herself off, throwing dust and dirt into the air as it settled down everywhere, including on my person.

"Yeah, I am, who are you?" I said while wiping the dust and dirt off of me, grumbling silently at being dirtied by a griffon.

Probably wouldn't be the first time it would happen.

"My name is Greta, what's yours outsider?" The now named female griffon, Greta, said as she extended a talon to me, a simple hand gesture that clearly reads out as a handshake.

"The name's Ian, and what do you mean by outsider?" I responded in kind and slowly grabbed the extended talon and shook it, her grip wasn't strong but it held enough strength in it to tell me that if I were to mess with her then there would be a great chance that I would be pushing up daises.

"You know, those that aren't a griffon or those that are not born on griffon lands." Ah, that would make sense actually.

For a moment there I thought that she knew that we were in a dream...which would be strange as hell cause sometimes not even the dreamer would know they are in a dream in the first place...eh whatever.

"So, you new to town or something? Got yourself a traveler's kit and you look like a fish outta water here." Greta said, flapping her wings a bit to dislodge a loose feather that has been loosened in the crash.

Looking around where I am standing to get a better position of my current location, and sadly I don't know where the hell I am. Apparently by following the old griffon into his store I had managed to lose myself in this griffon city. Can this get any worse than it already is? Like seriously, what is next, am I going to get robbed or something?

Rotating my arms a bit to ease the straps from digging into my shoulders I looked back at Greta, the griffoness staring right at me, it feels like she is either staring right through me or is staring right at me soul, and I am not sure which is worse.

"You can say that I am new here, I just walked in a few minutes ago." I said, thinking back on that I did kinda just rolled on in, talked to an old man who pretty much gave me everything I will need to go on an adventure...and for a moment I could have sworn he said quietly 'It's dangerous to go alone, take this.' to me. In fact if he did say that then he does know that I am still alone, just because I got a sword doesn't mean my loneliness is fixed.

"Well watch your tail cause some griffons round here have been known to scam others and in some cases outright robbery." The scarf wearing griffon says as she checks out her left talon, flicking a pebble from said talon.

Before I could comment back that I don't have a tail, I smelled something baking in the wind, something...bread.

"What is that smell?" I asked, I know it wasn't a fart, I know one of those when I smell it.

You can tell if it was a butt trumpet, especially if you live with two brothers and two dogs, especially when a dog is always by your side and it is only the two of you in the room when one is let loose.

"Oh, that. It's just Gilda baking her scones. Seems like she is baking them a bit early today, I wonder if she has something planned later on for today." Greta said as she placed a talon under her beak and rubbed at it a bit, guess that counts as her chin since I don't see one.

"Gilda?" I raised an eyebrow, did she honestly expect me to know this griffon is?

"Yeah, what about her?" Greta says as she walked over to me, circling me like a shark as she looked me over, my guess is that she is just looking me over to see what I am.

"Don't know who she is." I mean seriously, not like I know anyone here by heart...maybe Grandpa Gruff but he is an old timer who everyone should know.

"Oh, well, lemme just give you the rundown 'bout her than. She is for the lack of a better word, a crabby bitch. If you don't meet her standards, are a nerd or as she says a 'dweeb', or are weak then she will tear you apart either by talking down to you or by literally tearing you apart. She has her days and ever since she lost her only outsider friend, that and I think that same friend dumped her or something." Greta said as she sat down, apparently this Gilda is well...a total bitch if what I am hearing has any truth to it.

"Wow really? She can't be that bad...right?" I asked, cause I mean someone can't be that much of an asshole right? Oh who am I kidding, I have seen plenty of assholes back home and I know plenty of them are only like that cause someone else was an asshole to them.

It's a vicious cycle, the asshole cycle.

"Do you want to find out?"

Yes and no.

"Nah, maybe later." I said before shuffling my backpack again, readjusting the weight.

"Well good luck on your trip to the abyss, I could lead you to it, for a price." And that was when I saw a smile creep onto her beak, I don't know how but she somehow managed to get her beak to bed to make a smile...now that is just creepy as hell. Last time I saw a bird up close, beaks don't bend like that.

"I'm broke." I said with a flat face. I mean I have money on me, I am sure I got a penny or two in my pocket, maybe a nickel or a dime but probably nothing that can be used as currency here.

"Oh...well, for a favor than." And for a moment, I thought I saw a glimmer sparkle in her eye, and I am not sure if I should feel afraid for my life or just shrug at it and keep going.

"Eh...alright, just as long as its not anything too strange for me." I finally said, agreeing to the deal of being led to my object for a favor.

I think I might have just doomed myself...maybe.

"Yes!" The griffon shouted while pumping her fist, apparently I just signed myself up for something horrible in the future.

"Nothing illegal! No murder, no theft, no loitering, no setting things on fire and most importantly nothing stupid! I do not want to wake up one morning on the floor of a jail cell."

"Oh don't worry about it buddy, just be ready for me to call on that favor in like...two or three months from now." Greta says before spreading her wings open, about to take off into the sky.

"Wait, what is happening at that time?"

"Like I said, don't worry about it! Just be ready for when I call on that favor!" And with that said I watched the griffoness take flight and circled around before landing on the roof of a building.

Thinking that she is trying to guide me to the abyss I decided to follow her and just as she had promised, although with a bit of messing around on her part, she led me out of the city proper and back down the mountainside. Apparently this abyss was at the very bottom of the mountain and that I had woken up somewhere above the bottom and away from the abyss.

During our walk...my walk to the bottom and her flight to the bottom the two of us decided to play a couple games of twenty questions.

"What do you do for a living Greta?" I asked as we exited the city of Griffonstone, a few griffons were watching us as we made our slow decent down the mountain path.

"Oh, you know, some things here, some things there. You?" The griffoness said, gently flapping her wings to keep pace with me as I walked down the dirt road.

"I used to work for my uncle making car parts." And boy was that annoying, the parts were either greasy, oily, or complex to put together.

"Car parts?" Greta says, tilting her head a bit as she tries to mentally picture what it is.

"Its for a mechanical vehicle that my people drive to get around." I said as I mentally rolled my eyes.

'Oh joy, the great feeling of telling someone what carbon-fiber wrapped four-wheeled vehicle is. I must be blessed by god!'

"So like an airship than?" Greta said, and apparently here in this dream world we have airships. Is it like a blimp of the real world or is it a boat with wings and sails, or is it like a final fantasy airship which changes in appearance based on the game.

"Yes...just like an airship, just not in the air but on the ground." I think I just said that a car is a land boat with sails and shit.

"Oh, then its a wagon." And now this place has wagons, things that are pulled by bulls, horses and donkeys.

Lovely.

"Yeah, a wagon." Kill me now.

"I wouldn't trust it, I rather fly because I know I only have to worry about other bad fliers, the weather, the wind and nearby airships."

"I would rather fly as well but seeing how I don't have wings I can't. Driving a car is dangerous in its own right, that damn thing is a metal deathtrap when it is in the hands of an inexperienced driver, an old person, or someone that is feeling suicidal." That and after watching several episodes of World's Dumbest and seeing how often some idiot crashes their car into other cars, trees, buildings and ditches, I would rather walk or ride a bike somewhere then place my trust into a four-wheeled metal coffin.

"Wow, must really suck." Oh you have no idea Greta.

"It does, it has its moments when shit happens."

After that was some other questions, how old are you, did you have sex yet, are you married, do you ever plan on it, plan for kids, how much money you have, ever got drunk, ever pissed yourself while drunk (twice!), and lastly at our current question...

"Why are you doing this?" Greta asks as she lands beside me and starts to walk on my left.

"Doing what?" I asked as I stepped on a twig, the resulting crack causes a flock of small birds to spring from a tree and fly off.

"Why are you going after the idol?" Oh, that.

"Uh...not really sure." I said while shrugging.

I mean, I don't really know why I am doing this, hell this is all a dream, if I wanted I could make it rain tacos for no reason.

"Are you serious?" The griffon says in a raised tone, turning her head to look at me, apparently not liking my answer.

"I think so...why?" Sometimes I don't even know why I do things, I just do them.

"Oh by the All Father...I am traveling with an idiot!" Hey! I take offense to that!

"Hey! I am not an idiot! I just sometimes don't really think things through and that I just do things."

"You are totally an idiot! You just up and decided to go hunt for a relic and not only did you not know where it is, but how dangerous it is and could be to even get to it! What kind of birdbrain would even not think of what could happen to themselves before even signing up to something so dangerous!"

"Well its not like anyone else was gonna go for it! Hell I don't even belong here and yet I am doing it anyways!" That and this is a dream, by morning I probably won't even remember any of this.

"But why though!" The question that many people ask but are never able to answer.

"For the hell of it! And also for the experience (points)!" I said with a hint of pride, puffing out my chest all while thinking of the things I will get for doing this. Maybe I will be given a title, a noble rank, maybe even a home!

Wow, I am such a nerd, this is not Skyrim damn it! OR is it? I don't know, dreams are strange, fickle things.

"You are truly one crazy featherhead, aren't you?" Greta says as she snickers at me, apparently by going on this quest I have been deemed crazy.

Well isn't that lovely.

"Yup!" Well we all are a little crazy, aren't we? I mean we are all mad here.

We eventually arrived at the bottom of the mountain, and my god that is one large ass crack in the ground. I thought this was just a massive ravine in the ground but when I kicked a rock over the side I failed to hear anything hit the very bottom let alone the sides. And also the abyss is named that because it truly is an abyss, no light was hitting the bottom and for a moment I saw some sort of dark, eerie fog down there.

"Well, this is it. The Abysmal Abyss, the deepest hole in the ground in the whole world. This blasted thing has prevented so many griffons from retrieving our lost idol for years, and for you it might just kill you. I wish you the best of luck and whether or not you get the idol back and you return to Griffonstone, remember that you owe me a favor in a few months!" Greta said with a wry grin, watching me set my backpack down and taking out the necessary climbing tools for the job.

"Well, I just hope that nothing bad happens to me while I do this. I really don't want to fall to my death here and it would really suck if I somehow fall down that hole into some kind of eternal drop. Starvation and dehydration are not ways I want to go out." I said as I slide some rope through my belt-loops before making a rope harness up top.

"You know, you kinda look like a Diamond Dog now that I look at you with your backpack...you seem to be missing your tail." My griffon companion said as she laid down on a large flat rock, flicking pebbles at me as I did my job.

"The fuck is a Diamond Dog?" I said as I grabbed a hammer and nailed a thick secure metal pin into the ground two feet away from the stony ledge.

"It's a large two legged beast that have some pretty massive arms, they aren't that bright, they love gems and they also love enslaving ponies to mine gems for them." She said as she looked at her talons, seeing for anything that might be wrong with them.

While she said that I was busy trying to comprehend what the hell she just said.

'Diamond Dogs? Are they the gnolls or goblins of this place? And ponies? The fuck? Like, sentient horses or is that just a racist slang for satyrs or centaurs? I sure hope its one of the two cause if it is sentient horses than I am just going to leave this dream right now.'

"Wow...giant armed dogs...and just how stupid are they?"

"Oh they are pretty stupid, you would not believe how stupid they can be. Heck you can easily trick them if you had a gem or two on you. You could probably trick the alpha of the pack into a fight and win so as long as you look like a Diamond Dog yourself." Wow, that is a level of stupidity that I have never heard of before.

At least it is good to know that I can somewhat pass for a dumb beast here in this dream...wait, that's bad.

"I'll take your word for it Greta."

"Good, well, I'll just watch you for now but as soon as you go over the side then I am leaving. I'll see you whenever you get back, try not to die." And with that said I watched the griffon stand up before taking off into the sky, flying all the way back up to Griffonstone.

Sighing to myself I looked over the side one more time before making sure everything is secure for this trip into the belly of the beast...I mean planet.

Taking one last look at the green grass, live trees and flying birds, I took my first step over the edge...

And almost immediately fell to my death when I forgot to get a firm grip on the rope.

"Shit!"

Grabbing the rope and earning myself a classic case of rope burn, I stopped myself from falling to my death or for me, falling on a smaller ledge that was just out of sight from the small spot I was last on.

'Phew, that would have been really bad if I fell to my death just now. Good thing there was this outcropping of rock here.'

Standing up to dust myself off I take out another anchor pin and nailed it into the wall above the rocky outcrop and this time I slowly got off of the safety rock and made my descent down once again but this time without falling to my death.

My slow as molasses descent into the planet was slow but it was progress for me. I was not going to take any chances and make a rapid descent downward, I am sure that if I tried that then I would more than likely cause the rope to break and I will then become one with the ground...

And by one with the ground I mean by splattering all over the floor like a bug on a windshield.

'Don't look down. Don't look down. Don't look down!'

Taking another step down I felt a rock give way but I managed to not slip and lose my grip on the rope so I let the rock beneath my foot give way before placing it somewhere else.

I swear they make this look so easy on TV and in the books, why can't it be as easy as it was when I first saw it.

Another step down, another inch closer to my goal...so as long as my goal is actually down here and not somewhere else.

After what felt like days of non-stop climbing turned out to be a few hours of utter hell and bullshit, but in the end it was worth it. Resting at the very edge of yet another outcropping of rock was a small golden idol, and in all of its glory it was still shiny, free of dust and not a single speck of rust nor decay.

"My god...it is so beautiful...it would look amazing on my mantelpiece!" I said as I took baby steps to the idol.

But naturally this was all a trap, because honestly who leaves a priceless treasure just sitting there on a ledge! That is just asking for a trap to go off! And before I could ponder any further I heard the tall tell sign of something cracking and when I looked down I saw the rock beneath my feet start to crack and crumble.

"Oh fuck..." Was all I could mutter before the rock gave way.

I would have plummeted to my death if it wasn't for the rope harness that I had made earlier but during my fall toward the bottom of the abyss, the rope that was preventing me from having a messy demise suddenly snapped. When I heard the rope snapped I had a brief moment to think that this was going to suck, and after that it was nothing but weightless doom.

Falling to ones death must be one of the worst ways to die but for me it didn't even hit my top five ways to die horribly.

It was during my fall to my death that I realized that I was actually on top of the rock that was the cause of my soon-to-be-demise and with what must be cartoon logic I grabbed the rock and held onto it tightly. If this was how I was going to die then I would at least want to be whole and intact, and after that I would wake up, mumble something and then go back to sleep.

Unless it was morning then I would just proceed with my daily ritual of brush teeth, shave, shower and shit before getting dressed for college then work.

Closing my eyes to not see my own death I waited patiently to hear the sound of the rock I am clinging on crack and crumble beneath me before hearing the sound of my head smacking against the ground before it all goes black.

But that never came.

I felt the wind get knocked out of me that was immediately followed by the rock I was holding coming to a complete halt but cracking more from the impact with something even large than itself.

Groaning in pain from having my air supply removed temporarily but when I breathed in and allowed my lungs to enjoy the sweetness that was good air, I opened my eyes to see where I currently am.

Before I could get a grip on my surrounding I noticed that something was missing.

The idol that came all the way down here for was gone.

"Where the fuck is it?" I muttered to myself, taking care not to cause a rock avalanche by shouting.

My answer to where the idol was came to me when something metallic and heavy collided with my head.

Before I blacked out, my eyes connected with the object of my quest, the idol.

"Oh...hey...griffon idol..." Was all I could say before blacking out from getting conked on the head.

Next Chapter: I don't get paid enough for this... Estimated time remaining: 18 Hours, 4 Minutes