I was asleep cuddled next to my wives and I was perfectly fine, until Surprise started to cry. That caused all the other babies start to cry, and when the babies cry it's time to get up. It really helped that Tia knew that breastfeeding spell, I told them I was working on inventing the microwave. Right now I was working on a land survey and through the history files because of a land dispute between Carrot Top's carrot farming fields and Sweet Apple Acres, my job has me to be an unbiased judiciary. Basically it means I'm a land judge, Applejack had recovered enough to start working again and since she was the one who had the farm in her name she was the one who sat here. Carrot Top or her given name Golden Harvest had received land from her parents before they passed on and there was a dispute between who had what. I was looking over the documents that both parties had brought in and the local history, and as much as Applejack may hate it, Golden is entitled to the land; because her great-great-great-great-great grandfather had actually purchased the land from Sweet Apple Acres. Now Applejack will have to relocate or chop down her apple trees because they are on Golden's land.

I was filing the papers away when the mayor came in, "Working hard?" She asked.

"I was finishing up the Apple/Harvest land dispute." I said.

"Oh thank the heavens, I thought that thing would never be solved." Mayor Mare sighed. She brought up a small bag that had a delicious aroma coming off it. "I brought this for you, it's spiced noodles with vegetables, and some eggs." She said putting the lunch on my desk. "It's a little thank you gift for doing such hard work." She smiled.

"Thank you I thought I was about to starve." I said as I took the box and opened it up, and started to chow down.

"It's my pleasure, you are one in a million. You do such hard work and you're so knowledgeable about the land." She said. "So how's being a father affecting you now?"

"It's.......different." I said in between mouthfuls. "Never thought I'd have so many kids to begin with."

"How are the children doing?" She asked.

"Surprise is perfect at waking us up at 4:00 in the morning." I said while stabbing at my food. "It's made Pinkie Mrs. Little Cranky Pie in the morning." I sighed.

"I know what that's like."

"You have children?" I asked her.

"I had a daughter and recently she had a child of her own." She said. "She's down on her luck since her coltfriend dumped her. I let her in and her little dumpling has been keeping her up and she's been cranky."

"Wow, I never knew that." I said to her.

"I like to keep my personal life and my professional life separate." Mayor Mare said.

"I can understand why, my little boys have become thick as thieves though." I said to her.

"Really?"

"Yeah Popper and Cobbler have had slept together for the past two months. Cobbler once farted Popper giggled and gurgled at that, then they held hands for the rest of the night." I said.

"How do you know that?" Mayor Mare asked.

"I was calming down Tart because she woke up when Cobbler farted." I sighed. "That was this morning."

"Your baby is already farting?"

"He sure as hell didn't poop his diaper." I said to the Mayor. "I know because I checked." I chuckled while finishing up my lunch.

"I take it that little Cobbler is drunk off his mother's milk?"

"He's got a little pudgy belly and when AJ stops feeding him he starts crying until somepony else picks him up." I said.

"I've heard of needy babies but that little one is something else." She said. I finished my lunch and threw it away, "Oh by the way Mickey since you finished up that land dispute between Harvest Fields and Sweet Apple Acres, you can get off early."

"How early?" I asked.

"Right now if you want to." Mayor Mare said, "That case has been plaguing Ponyville ever since those two girls were fillies, yet none of them took time to research it." The mayor sighed.

"Well then, thank you for the meal." I thanked her.

"Thank you for the hard work, every time I got somepony to even look at that dispute they immediately quit."

"Seriously?"

"One of them said to pepper spray them so that they wouldn't remember the files."

"Sounds a bit extreme." I said.

"Welcome to Ponyville. If it's not one fruit bat-shit crazy thing then it's another." The mayor said. "I appreciate the work Mickey you can go when you want."

"I think I'll be leaving now." I said as I packed my things. I walked out town hall and towards my home. When out popped Discord and he did look to pleased.

"Yes Q what do you want?" I quipped at the god of chaos.

"I think you know what I'm here about."

"To make an appointment to own Ponyville land?" I said.

"No, I just came from having tea with Fluttershy, and she told me the wonderful news."

"Yes, Fluttershy is my wife. If you had a problem with it you should've told me before I married her. She was the one who ASKED me to have her own child, I never forced anything onto her."

"I know, she just told me. I just wanted you to know that she's my best friend and that if you do anything to hurt her."

"I know Mr. de Lancie, you'll turn me inside out and backwards so I can suck my own dick." I said.

"Who?" Discord asked.

"John de Lancie, you sound just like him. He's an actor on my world he played an omnipotent being on a television show that could do anything. He loved most of all to cause chaos for the main characters." I said.

"Sounds like my kind of character." Discord mumbled.

"He should, you sound like him. Besides you are exactly like Q." I said while continuing walking home.

"You might have to tell me more about this Q."

"You're the god of chaos you can just watch the series or just when Q appears. It's called Star Trek: The Next Generation, also try Star Trek: Deep Space 9 and Star Trek: Voyager." I said I explained the television to him and told him about the television show.

"Thank you Michael, I appreciate it." Discord thanked me.

"No problem, now I have to get home before the babies tear the building apart." I said as I finally reached my house, which was more like a mansion and I opened the door and I heard crying. I saw Rainbow with a rounder belly, she recently got a check up on the baby and Firefly was growing at the regular pace of her siblings Rainbow was around 7 or 8 months along. She looked stressed the fuck out while she was bouncing Cupcake, who was beginning to calm down as soon as she saw daddy. "Here Dashie let me hold her." I said as put my suitcase down and started to hold my green furred daughter. She had the slate purple mane that Maud Pie had but it was more curly.

Dash kissed me on the cheek, "Thank you baby, how are you off so early?" She asked.

"I solved a case that caused a lot of conflict for the town." I said while bouncing Emerald, "Shh, baby. What's wrong with Cuppy?" I asked Rainbow.

"I tried to breastfeed her because Popper won't accept milk from anypony else."

"Poor baby." I said as I bounced her.

"Yeah........" Rainbow trailed off.

"Where's Twilight and Celestia?" I asked.

"They're studying or something." Rainbow said, "They're in the library I think."

I kissed my daughter on the cheek as she fell asleep and handed her over to Rainbow, and I walked to the library. Rainbow was right they were in the library, talking about magic. "Excuse me ladies?" I asked but they carried on.

"The dynamics of the thaumics* don't calculate properly!" Twilight argued.

"I'm sorry Twilight but it's right the closer the moon is it make the tides of the oceans."

"Ladies!" I yelled and snapped them out of their conversation.

"Mickey?" Tia asked.

"Why did you yell?" Twilight asked.

"That's because you are completely ignoring your herd wives and children."

"We are?" Twilight asked.

"Rainbow is stressing out because Cuppy will only nurse from Pinkie, and Popper as well. Now you girls know I normally don't get off this early and I don't yell either, but may I ask what it is that you two are doing completely ignoring your children?"

"Trying to calculate why the moon controls the ocean's tide." Tia said.

"Gravity, now get out of here and help take care of Rainbow before she has Firefly in the kitchen." I said as the girls started to walk out of the library, "You both need to apologize to leaving the others." I said following them.

"I'm-" Twilight started.

"Not me, them." I said, "Now march young ladies."

"But I'm over 2,000." Tia complained.

"And you were slacking off ignoring your responsibilities as mothers, to study something that was already known." I said as I marched them into the kitchen.

Tia took Cupcake and held her, Rainbow scolded the both of them. "I thought that you two were supposed to be the responsible ones. I've been trying to calm her down for an hour and you two were slacking off. How could you ignore your own children, they may not be biologically yours but they are still babies." Rainbow huffed.

"You're right Dash." Twilight hugged her wife, "How about this, I know you've been stressed about your baby. So you go take a nap and sleep off this stress and we'll take care of Cupcake." Twilight kissed Dash's cheek.

"Thank you Twi. I'm sorry for yelling." Rainbow said.

Twilight kissed Rainbow on her lips. "You are fine baby, you have a lot on your plate. How about I give you a massage and let you take a nap."

Rainbow kissed Twilight back for a few seconds, then lay her head on Twilight's shoulder. "Thanks." Twilight led Rainbow to the master bedroom, the big bed was my pride and joy. I had hand made the entire mattress and Tia, Rainbow, and Fluttershy stuffed it with clouds. It's a lot like memory foam but it's so fluffy! I set my faux leather jacket on the coat rack and undid my tie.

"Mickey, Spike wanted to talk to you when you have the chance." Tia said.

"Okay." I said while heading to the basement. The room which Spike lived in he was busy reading a comic when I came in. "Spike?"

Spike jumped a bit when I startled him from his futon. "Hey dad."

"Tia said that you wanted to talk to me?" I asked him.

"Yeah I just didn't expect you to get home so early." Spike said putting his comic down with the others.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" I asked him.

"Um.......well you see it's pretty complicated." Spike said scratching the back of his head. "It involves me and Sweetie Belle."

"Are you two breaking up?" I asked.

"WHAT-NO! It's not that, in fact I think it's the opposite." Spike said.

"How so?"

"She gotten a bit more....... touchy."

"Touchy?"

"Well.....it's something like that."

"Spike are you telling me that Sweetie Belle is interested in having sex with you?" I asked.

"I think so." Spike said nervously. "I just didn't know who to turn to and you said that I could trust you with anything that I needed!" Spike yelled and jumped up from the futon that was currently a couch.

"Spike, calm down. It's fine, I'm glad that you came to me for advice about this."

"You aren't angry?"

"No in fact I'm quite happy for you two for taking the next step in your relationship." I said and Spike sat back down.

"You're happy for me?" Spike asked.

"Spike how old are you?" I asked him.

"I'm 17." He answered.

"Do you love Sweetie Belle?"

"Of course!"

"Does she love you?"

"I don't really know but she tells me all the time."

"Let me tell you something Spike, I felt the same way about girls when I was your age. It's normal to feel like this."

"Really?"

"Yes, it's perfectly natural for something like this. Sex can be a wonderful thing, but all good things have it's drawbacks. Too much sex can result in an STI or STD."

"What are those?"

"STI and STD are sexually transmitted infections or sexually transmitted diseases. It's something that anypony could have and it's something you gotta watch out for, because some of those disease can kill you."

"Really?" Spike gulped.

"Now I'm not saying this to deter you away from sex altogether, because like I said it can be a wonderful thing you just gotta watch out for it."

"Okay I got it."

"There is another thing you have to watch out for, and that is children."

"I know that much, but still. How do I know when the time is right?"

"You have to wait. Don't force anything onto her, if you do that is called rape and you can be arrested for raping someone."

"What's rape?"

"Rape is when one person forces sex onto another without their consent, or a person has sex with someone under the legal age of consensual sex. That is called statutory rape."

"Wow."

"Spike, it's fine to feel this way but just remember, if you rape someone that is breaking their trust and if you break someone's trust, you break them." I said.

"Thanks dad for telling me all of this. It's better than going to Twilight and have her tell Rarity, then I would be given forty lashes across the hands."

"Really?" I asked.

"Probably not, but she would have given me a stern talking to." Spike said. "Thanks Dad I knew I could trust you."

"Yeah also if I die tonight you're the man of the house."

"Why would you say that?"

"Because I settled the land dispute between Sweet Apple Acres and Carrot Top Farms. Applejack is not the winner in this one." I said.

"Ouch."

"Mind if I hang with you for the time being?"

"Yeah go ahead I wish more ponies would come down here anyways."

"I gave you the basement for your privacy, if you want I could set up my gym equipment down here so we can bond more."

"I'd like that."

"Still not giving you beer yet." I said.

"Damn."