I am so fucked. Let me break it down for you, it was our last day in Canterlot and tomorrow we headed back to Ponyville. The girls wanted to do something romantic and I agreed that the city is pretty romantic and I also wanted to do something we haven't done before. It somehow wound up with me sitting in an alleyway curled up next to Princess Celestia with a bottle of water in one hand and a can spray paint in the other, I also didn't have any pants on my tie was wrapped around my waist and my shoes were missing. Celestia grunted and said. "I don't wanna go to school mommy, Luna keeps licking my pussy in class."

I poked her, "Hey wake up Suncunt."

She roused from her slumber, rubbing her eyes. "Mickey? What are you doing in the royal chambers?"

"First off, we're in an alleyway and I only have an undershirt and jacket on with no shoes and missing pants. Second you need to talk to a therapist about your little sister tongue fucking you in a classroom. Finally I have no clue where we're at and we need to get out of here before we get shanked by the hobo whose mattress we're using." I held my hand out to her to help you get up, she grabbed it and pulled herself up.

"Uuuuugggggggghhhhh, I have such a bad hangover." Celestia said. I handed her the bottle of water in my hand. "Thank you." She drank the water and threw it into the nearest garbage dumpster. "Where are we?"

"Like I said earlier I have no idea." I took my jacket off and tied it around my waist, making it into a makeshift kilt. I untied the tie around my waist and tied it around my neck. "I'm going to get a look around, and you will change into a disguise. I can't walk around the city with all the pony folk know that their princess woke up in a random alley."

"Good point I'll start working on a spell now." she said as I walked out to the beginning of the alley, I looked around and couldn't recognize the place.

"Done with that spell yet?" I asked, looking back at the princess. Who now had a blonde mane and tail was around my height and was a pegasus.

"Mickey Young meet Sunny Skies." 'Sunny' said as twirled.

"I'm impressed, never thought you would come up with something that fast. I mean you did wake up with a hangover a few minutes ago." I said.

"Understandable, question." Celestia said.

"Yes?"

"How come you don't have a hangover?" She asked.

"You girls were drinking apple cider, I can't drink that." I said.

"Why not?"

"Because it would make all the contents in my stomach on the express train to anusoplis, basically diarrhea." I said.

"Oh, you have my sympathies it's the same with me and coconuts. Where are your pants?" She said.

"Good question, my wallet was in my pants. By the way you said that it was the most liberating night of your life. I can understand that running a country can be stressful, but is it really that tough on you?"

"It's partially why I started to manipulate my subjects, they never let me have any fun anymore so I decided to play games with them. Then you came along, a human that wasn't afraid to speak his mind, punch the ones that needed to be punched and get away with all of it. How do you do it?"

"It's all about where I was raised, America is a land of freedom and opportunities, people can get rich by starting small projects in their garages, fight for their country and are never restricted to speak their minds. It was awesome, they did have laws like no killing, or raping people, but those were reserved for real sick fucks. I'm not that messed up a little bit, but not the entire way. I'm not afraid of you because I know you won't hurt me, I can always uses person's greatest strength as their greatest weakness." I said as we departed.

"You're very smart Mickey, how is it that you are?"

"Ever heard of the saying necessity is the mother of invention?"

"Yes. What does that have to do with anything?"

"Humans always need something bigger, badder, and better so they can kill each other faster." I trudged along.

"Why would humans need to kill each other?" Celestia asked.

"Because people that have the ability to run their mouths usually get killed because of it, sometimes the people that abuse the fact of speaking freely their opinions disagree with another and it leads to war." I said. "I never said that humans were perfect, hell sometimes we're not even that smart but if we can get the job done I guess it doesn't matter who goes down to get it done."

"That's a bit sad. I'm sorry that your species had to learn that way, if I could've helped I would." Celestia said. "I'm glad I met you Mickey, if I could I'd become a part of your herd instantly you seem like a good stallion."

"What's stopping you?"

"What helping?" She asked.

"No joining my herd, what stopping you?"

"It's a long a complicated process, I don't think you'd have the patience to withstand it. I don't think that the nobles would agree either." She said.

"Then tell them to fuck off, you're the princess you should rule the way you want. Those nobles are just a bunch of grown babies complaining because someone else has the toy that they want and the only way to get it is by complaining to you. If you want it to stop then tell them to stop, and if you won't I'll do it for you at your next meeting with the nobles."

"Like what, you'll be my anger translator?" She giggled.

"Yeah just give me a suit, a bunch of rings, and call me Luther." I laughed.

"I don't get it." She said.

"That's another thing I hate about this planet, no one gets my references." I said.

"Sorry."

"That's one thing I hate about ponies, they apologize for things they can't control. You're nicer than Canadians, and on my planet that's saying something." I commented.

"Then shall we continue? Where are the girls?" Celestia asked.

"Another good question, They were pretty smashed too. Let's start with the least drinkers : Twilight and Fluttershy. You have known Twilight almost her entire life think of where she would go if she weren't in the greatest state of mind." I said to Celestia.

"Twilight is a seeker of knowledge and loves to read so I'll check the Canterlot archives and you can check the library."

"Let's not split up." I said.

"Why not?"

"Bad things always happen when groups split up, especially in movies." I said. "Besides you aren't Celestia, you're Sunny right now."

"Okay I agree on not splitting up, but my guard know that when I'm out and about they know the names and descriptions of my disguises." She said.

"Then let's get to the archives, do you know your way to there from here?"

"I think so, so be honest I haven't really been so far away from my guards even when I was just a little filly." Celestia started to walk with myself beside her.

"That's actually pretty sad. I don't think you've had the chance to grow up, not really."

"I get what you're saying, don't let the princess play with the others, don't let her play in the mud, she must learn to be prim and proper. It just gets-"

"Stressful." I finished for her, "Trust me I've seen enough television to know where you're coming from. Sometimes you just want to trade places with a commoner and live a real life."

"Yeah, I do. Not many understand that, only Luna and I have each other to talk to about our problems."

"Now you have me, we're not friends yet. I'm willing to listen if helps any."

"Thank you Mickey, I think I recognize this street. Let's go." Celestia said as she ran off. I followed her to the archives, she said her name and the guards let myself and her in. We both knew the place Twilight would probably be if she were here. The Starswirl the Bearded wing, we opened up the door and saw a pile of scrolls and a book fort, with a purple unicorn hiding her head underneath said book fort. "I'll handle this." Celestia walked over to the book fort, "Twilight it's time to wake up, you don't want to be late for school do you?"

"NO! I CAN'T BE LATE!" Twilight shouted her head popped up with my pants on her head. That solved one mystery. "Oh hi princess, how are you?"

"I'm doing fine Twilight, but you have your stallion's pants on your head and you're sleeping in the Starswirl the Bearded wing." Celestia smiled.

"Oh, I must have been so drunk last night. I'm sorry princess." Twilight bowed her head.

"You have nothing to be ashamed of my faithful student, in fact you should be proud of yourself."

"What, why?" Twilight asked.

"Because you got loose and a bit wild, you have almost never learned to relax. I saw that you were having fun and it didn't involve studying or a book. I'm proud of you, and you should be too."

Twilight handed me my pants and I asked. "Do you remember anything about last night, right now I'll take anything."

"How come you don't remember everything Mickey? I didn't see you drink much cider last night." Celestia asked.

"Because I drank something else, it was still alcoholic and I only remember bits and pieces. I remember a movie like this back in my world, we know enough about each other to know where we would wind up. We have gaps in our memory, but using enough context we can piece together the next step. Now we need to find out where Fluttershy is."

"I think I remember her saying something about liberating the ones from their cages. Whatever that means." Twilight said as she got herself together.

I facepalmed, "I know where she is."

"Where?" Celestia and Twilight asked in unison.

"The Zoo." I said as I walked out of the archives the girls followed me. "Twilight do you know where the zoo is?"

Celestia and Twilight looked at each other with fond looks on their faces, "Yeah we do." They took off, and I followed them.

The zoo was in chaos, I couldn't imagine my sweet shy virgin doing anything like this. Then again she was pretty drunk last night, we all were. We entered the zoo and were surrounded by the primates, I looked at the girls. "Let me handle this, if I fail at least I tried." I turned to see a gorilla staring right at me. I held up my hand and looked at him. "I know you understand me, and I know that you understand her. I'm the same as you, you know this she wasn't herself last night and I need you to let me go to her. Please."

The gorilla grunted and shifted to the side to let us by. I nodded my head in appreciation and we continued. Celestia looked amazed, "How'd you do that Mickey?"

"It's something you know from working with animals, you treat them with the same respect you'd treat anyone else they will do the same thing in return." I said as I continued along. There was a throne built out of the remnants of cages and trees and on top of the throne was a passed out Fluttershy she had on a crown of flowers. "My little liberator, she has done so much for these animals. She has lived a lucid dream, and now it's time for her to wake up." I approached the throne and the animals moved aside. I gently shook her awake.

"Aaaaaaaahhhh." Fluttershy yawned, "Hello Mickey what are you doing here?"

"You know you're in the zoo. Fluttershy, my little drunken beast master." I kissed her forehead.

Shy blushed and looked at her throne built by the animals, "Oh my, I didn't meant for this to happen."

"I know you didn't baby but it's time for everything to be put back. You understand this, right?" I said.

She nodded and turned to the animals. "Now I know you've had your fun and so have I but you all know that this is wrong." She stared at the animals, "I know you all mean well but I wasn't myself last night and you all need to return to your pens." The animals all complained. "Don't you dare give me those tones, I know that the ponies here don't treat you fairly. I will do my best to change things around here but you need to give me time, alright?" The animals complied and returned the cages and habitats to the state that they were once in. Fluttershy joined up with the rest of us, "I'm sorry Mickey I didn't mean to cause this much trouble." I kissed her again.

"You're forgiven Fluttershy, we've all made our fair share of mistakes. Now I've got to ask do you remember anything from last night?"

"Sorry I don't remember anything after the karaoke bar. Then I woke up here."

"Okay then we need to break this down." Twilight said. "The girls couldn't have give very far Mickey was paying for everything, so we decided to leave our money at the castle in our room."

"Oh right karaoke, I didn't want to sing so I paid for everything. Never mind that we need to think, the girls were black out drunk and we found you two in places you were most likely wind up if you weren't in the right state of mind. I'm not going to worry about AJ she doesn't like the big city type and most likely just wandered back to our room to sleep it off. Rainbow Dash is probably somewhere near the place where the wonderbolts are living, hopefully I won't have to find her passed out in a bush. I'll take Celestia to try to find her sister and Rarity you two go find Dash." I pointed at Twi and Shy.

"What about Pinkie?" Twi asked.

"Oh don't worry about Pinkie, I have a way to summon her." I said. I grabbed Celestia's wrist and pulled her with me exiting the zoo and making a right. I let go of Celestia's wrist soon after. "Sorry about that kind of in a hurry." I explained to her.

"It's no problem." Celestia said as she lightly rubbed her wrist, "Who are we going to find first?"

"Rarity first, I know her enough to know where she be if she were ever black out drunk."

"Where?" I looked at Celestia with a 'do you really have to ask' expression on my face. "Oh right, the garment district." Celestia walked alongside me. "Could we talk more about you Mickey, ever since we became acquaintances I wanted to get to know more about you."

"I'm a stranger in a strange land trying my best to cope with the hand I've been dealt with."

"You said that your race's evolution revolved around killing each other."

"Yeah, and because of that we're more technologically advanced than yours and before you even think to ask, no I will not be bringing hyper advanced technology to Equestria."

"Why not?"

"It's not about the benefits but the drawbacks, if Equestria had advanced tech. then think about the other countries they'd want a piece of it and the ponies wouldn't be able to give it up and there would be a world war."

"Oh, I didn't think of that."

"I did, sometimes I wonder who the better ruler is you or I." I said as a took a left.

"Now I'm wondering the same thing." Celestia said. "What do you do instead of living in the woods?"

"Nothing much, I wish my life would be a bit more exciting to be honest."

"Really?" Celestia asked with her interest piqued. "What do you mean?"

"Do you think that it's exciting to try to make some sort of comfortable place for yourself in the world while trying to juggle seven mares that all want to jump your bones at a moments notice?" I asked as I slowed down to look for Rarity.

"No I don't think that's very comfortable. Have you ever had to tried to rule a country? To have to question every single decision you make not knowing if your conciseness is willing to take it?"

"You and I have a lot in common the more I think about it." I smirked as I looked around to find my marshmallow mare. "I also have a question."

"Ask away."

"Why didn't you let Twilight stay with her parents? What you did was really pretty much kidnapped her, she writes letters to you all the time and always puts your opinion above her own. In actuality it should be like that with her parents, you robbed her parents of parenting." I looked at her straight it the eye. Celestia opened her mouth to reply then shut it. "No answer?" She shook her head. "That's what I thought." I saw Rarity coved head to toe in the most ridiculous fabrics imaginable, I didn't know they made ti-dye fabrics here. Then again everything has a seventies, "Rarity wake up you have 20 minutes before your dresses go to the runway." I said.

"I HAVEN'T FINISHED HEMMING THEM!" She shrieked, causing the pile of fabrics on her body to shoot up. "Oh my word, how much did I have to drink last night?"

"Too much, just look at the fabrics you have on you."

"What do you mea-EEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!! GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF!!!!" Rarity yelled.

"Hold still." I said as I unraveled her fabrics, as they came off they became more and more ridiculous. Orange and Green polka dots, outdated shag carpet, may want to keep the lace though, I pulled off the ti-dye one and then there was the worst one, fuzzy orange and gray fur (fake of course).

"Thank you Mickey, although." Rarity grabbed the lace. "This I may have some ideas for~" She looked at me with the bedroom eyes.

"That's why I held it in my other hand." I held up the other fabrics. "Mind if I keep these?"

"Do whatever you want with them, just keep it out of my sight." She said repulsively.

"Great, Rarity my marshmallow princess?" I asked in the sweetest tone I could come up with while holding her close.

"Yes Mickey, my most handsome human?"

"Would you happen to have any information of where any of the other girls might went?"

"Applejack was with me for a while then she sobered up a little and went to the castle."

"Alright, my assumption was correct. Hopefully Twi and Shy have found Dash." I groaned as I saw the sun start to set.

Author's Notes:

This chapter was an absolute bitch to write I'm sorry it took longer than usual and it didn't help that I got sick. HOLY FLYING FUCKS OVER 100 LIKES WAHOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!