Jealous Much?

Las Pegasus

"So now that we've got the whole rest of the day off, what now?" We were sitting on those double decker buses that give a tour of the town, except this one had a cafe at the top, cappucino maker and everything. Celestia took a huge bite of cheesecake while Luna took a sip of coffee, trying to avoid eye contact with me. It was night time now, the neon lights and smoldering buildings creating a bright atmosphere.

'Millions of bits in property damage... check'

"Well, I don't really know, I barely have any spare time that I don't know what to do with it." I thought about it, we're in a city that basically makes it's lime light with performances and gambling, if it's like Vegas. But most of the city's high strung due to the fact we just blew the shit out of the town. So...

"Jazz club anyone?"

"Nah, those are too depressing." Hmm, we're on a double deckered bus with coffee and a cappacino maker, a pony who can consume 10 times her body weight in cake alone, two goddess princesses that raise the sun and the moon... I took a long swig of milk.... I got nothin... I mean seriously, I have no idea why we're still in Las Pegasus still, I mean shit's burning and no one seems to actually give a fuck. Might as well make some casual conversation.

"So Princesses, are you serious you get no time to yourselves?" Both of them shake their heads no, "I'm guessing ruling a country takes a really hefty amount of time to do?" They nod.

"Wait, can't you use magic to get all the stuff done? I mean, what exactly do you do?" Both of them look at each other, then back to me...

"Well..." Holy shit, they did nothing... "There's... raising the sun and moon... legal documents... and having to appear all over Equestria..."

"Basically, your morning routine, a couple of stamps for whatever the hell they're meant for, and having to answer shit to a bunch of ponies who know almost nothing about you. In a world kept super pristine by who knows what, you two actually have, in all sense, a bunch of time on your hooves, but nothing to do... wow..." They blush, oh yeah, I'm right...

"My god... you two gals need a fucking vacation..." They were basically couch potatoes, but I wasn't going to rub it in their face. Now that I think about it... their jobs are rather mundane, enough to drive anyone crazy. But what's worse was that they had nothing else to do afterwards. There was no xbox, tv, nothing, and you can only read the newspaper so many damn times, most of them dealing with news that portained to me.

Oh dear God, what have I done? I just blew the crap out of one of the most interesting towns on the map! FUCK! And even so, Anything rated R was off the list, the best thing this town could do was a fucking Jazz Club. That's It, the moment they start rebuilding this town I'm going to pitch in a few bits for a comedy club, though I have no idea what passes as a comedian in Equestria, you're guess is as good as mine. Oh my god I'm having a meaningless train of thought and this probably ends up as an awkward silence. Quick, be an asshole and break it! NAO!

"You know, if aliens were to attack Equestria, Why go for Las Pegasus? I heard the comedians were terrible, but did they have to blow up the damn planet for that?" The princesses start bursting into laughter. Meh, that joke was mediocre at best, I guess comedy here must be plain shit. After all, you can only crank out so many pony jokes before getting into the really obscene... I'm going off on another thought tangent aren't I?

'I don't know, are you?' Dammit brain... It then hits me...

"WHERE THE HELL ARE WE?!" Some how during that time we managed to ride that double deckered bus back to Ponyville. For once, I'd like it if time made sense around here, just once... We get off the bus I start heading towards my house, waving goodbye to the princesses again. Luna speaks up.

"Wait! Umm, Aoi, I wanted to say," She looked at her sister, "Thanks for saving Celly from that... conference, and the aliens." BACK THE FUQ UP! Did she just... Oh dear god in heaven, I don't even know what that means! Meh, let's leave it at that...

"Anytime, whenever you want another city blown up, call me... or... send another letter. Something like that..." I started to open the door to my house, as I do, Luna just gallops up to me and gives me the biggest glomp ever.

"I mean it, I don't know what we would have done without you..." CHOKING, NOT BREATHING! Vital signs fading, visible EKG flatlining. I'm done for.

"Oh, I-I'm sorry, I-I-I just don't know what came over me..." NO SHIT!

"Don't worry, all my bones are still intact," I hope... "Well, good night..." I waved at the two princesses and Pinkie pie before finally shutting the door. I sigh before laying down on my bed.

"Congradulations, Aoi..." Discord was upset, and I knew why... "You never cease to amaze me..." I sat up to meet him face to face.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He didn't.

"Oh? So now you want to talk?" He started pacing around my bedside, "Why don't you want to talk with you're new sweetheart, Princess LUNA!" He slammed a paw onto the dresser. I stood up and met his angered gaze.

"Because Luna doesn't need my help now, does she?" Discord gave a wry chuckle.

"And what makes you think I need help?" I looked dead in his eyes.

"Heh, because I felt the same thing as you," I took out a mirror and started to gaze at it, "All those years ago." he started to become interested in that.

"Oh? And What AM I feeling right now, Aoi the omniscient?" I looked back at him.

"Jealousy... or am I mistaken?" His expression turned into shock. I started to walk down the stairs to the kitchen. Something tells me it was going to take a while. I opened the refrigerator and grabbed a jug of cream from top rack.

"So you know then..." Discord said with a rough tone.

"As painful as It must feel to hear it." I pulled the stopper out of the top of the bottle, "I know that you still care for Celestia..." I start to take a swig of the cream. I hold out the bottle, offering it to Discord. He raises his eyebrow.

"Right, still ethereal." I place the bottle back on the table. "You're probably asking yourself why... am I right?"

"If you know all this, then let's skip the chit-chat."

"But I don't... you're the one who said I'm omniscient, not me... I only read what others allow me to read. 5 years talking to a shrink who does nothing but offer pills teaches you things." I take another swig, "One, don't trust shrinks, cause when they say they understand, they don't know jack SHIT! Two, they lie out their asses, trying to drag on the conversations because they get paid by the hour. I only wish I learned it sooner. Three is that the only thing they are good for is teaching you indirectly the emotions they reveal when they try to hide something. Four, they're completely condenscending assholes, refer to reason three." I take a long gulp of the cream in the bottle, damn that's rich.

"I'm not omniscient, and sometimes I take things way to literally. Now on to you." I point at Discord.

"You already know don't you?" He wasn't getting the hint.

"It helps to get it out in the open to the person you have a grudge with." I never really liked referring to it as a grudge, but for lack of a better word, it was exactly what he was feeling towards me. "So, in the words of Clara Peller, 'Where's the Beef?'" I lean back with my elbows on the chair. He snaps his fingers and starts lying on those psychiatric chairs you find in the shrink's office.

"Well, as you said before, why? What just happened back there? You blow up half of Las Pegasus and Princess Luna gives you a hug that almost kills you, I make it rain Chocolate Milk and 6 ponies turn me to stone, Where's my hug, Huh?" I look at him with a glare. Then start to smile.

"Heh, you said you looked at my life how long, ever since that cherry bomb?" I start to smile wider, "You've been through how long of my life?" I cross my legs, "Gazing through that window into my world... and yet, you've never really thought about it, how you were staring at an exact reflection of yourself, did you?" I start laughing.

"What's so funny?" I stop for a second and continue.

"I'll explain later. Right now this is about you, God that must sound SO cliche right now... So you're jealous because I did what you've been trying to do for so long..." I start laughing again... "Heh.. Wow... Irony, you are one messed up son of a bitch..." I look at Discord, for once with a genuinely confused look on his face. I stand up and walk towards him.

"Damn, Discord, you're a tough audience." He starts to sit up in the chair. "I mean, you of all people should be laughing." I crouch down to meet his gaze.

"Why so serious?" I start laughing at full volume, falling backwards on to the floor. "Alright, since you obviously aren't getting the joke, I'll explain." I stare up towards the ceiling. Discord gets up and leans over me, with a rather large smile.

"No need, I get what you're saying..." I use my arms as a pillow. "So you're saying..."

"Yup, all this time, the person to blame is no one. We met purely by chance, why, I ain't got no fucking Idea. But somehow, I'm here, after all, you sent me here didn't you? Why? I don't give a rat's feathery ass. Jealousy, It's a killer of course, but do you understand why? No one makes you jealous, you do it on your own. The reason for jealousy is just simply a coincidence. Now that you've gotten it out, don't you see how small it really is?" I pinch my fingers to emphasize my point.

"Now as for why I was laughing earlier, that was actually a different matter entirely... But I'll let you guess."

"Ooh, a guessing game?" I nod.

"Discord, what does your name mean?" He scratched his head in thought.

"Well that's easy, disharmony betwe-" It hit him like a brick. Suddenly a huge smile went across his face and he facepawed, laughing.

"Like I said, Irony is a bitch... however, your name is a complete and utter misnomer..."

"How so?"

"Chaos doesn't come from Discord, not blasting you on your job or anything but it's true. Chaos, in all pure definition, is lack of order. Discord, however evolves more or less into war. Needless to say, I think you should change your name. Wouldn't want others to catch on..." Besides, God of War was already taken.

"Oh? What would you suggest?"

"Konran." I stiffled a laugh.

"Konran?"

"Just a suggestion, would you rather be called Muchitsujo?"

"What?"

"Both mean Chaos in japanese, or in this case, neighongo." Dammit, the pony puns are getting to me...

"Really... Nah... I'll just stick with Discord, after a millenia or so, the name sticks to you like glue." I sigh.

"Suit yourself..." I get back up and head to the table, grabbing the bottle of cream, "Cheers, Brothers of Chaos 4 Lyfe." He holds up a glass of Chocolate milk and we clink the glasses, downing it's contents before I stop abruptly. I slam the bottle on the table and swallow the cream...

"Discord..." I looked at him, "I felt that just now..."