Why did it have to be this way?

That was all Richard could think about throughout his little ‘lesson’ with Celestia. In total, she had taken about 4 hours out of his day for flight ‘training’. Said ‘training’ including an hour at the beginning of just picking Richard up, teleporting him high off the ground, and telling him to open his wings and glide. After about the 15th attempt, Richard had hit the ground after Celestia having failed for the first time to catch him. To his relief, he seemed unharmed, though very frazzled. This caused Celestia to stop her first method of training, and instead move onto different ways, the first being teaching Richard how to even move his wings.

The rest of the training was uneventful -other than the conversations that Celestia and Richard were having-, Richard was able to get off the ground at the third hour, and was actually able catch himself when he was dropped from a great height when the fourth hour came to a close.

“Never should have mentioned not being able to fly...” Richard muttered to himself as he and the gleefully cheerful Celestia approached the Blendwood Library, which Twilight had so creatively named and made a sign for apparently while Richard had been taking his lesson. She even had the double-doors pointed red! Stained the glass with candles too. Then again, from the remains of the door he’d seen, it must’ve been to make it more homey for her.

“Twilight! I’m home!” Richard called as he stepped in the home. Strangely enough to him, all of the lights were off, and no one responded. “Twilight? Hello?” Richard didn’t notice Celestia remaining outside as he entered, silently closing the doors behind him. “Whoa...it got dark in here….”

“SURPRISE!” The lights suddenly flashed on, revealing what seemed to be EVERYPONY IN TOWN!

“GAH~!” Richard screamed before clutching his hand to his chest. “DON’T DO THAT! You almost gave me a freaking HEART ATTACK!”

“Good thing I invited Doctor Horse!” Pinkie beamed as a tan unicorn nodded, his doctor’s coat pointing out his profession.

“... I’m not even going to ask.” Richard deadpanned as his blood pressure began to slowly lower. “Though, I will ask this: What the heck is going on here?! Why is the whole town in my house?!”

“It’s your Welcome-Back-And-Welcome-To-Ponyville-And-Thanks-For-Saving-The-Town Party!” Pinkie Pie said cheerfully. “We all wanted to say hi and say thanks! So here we are!”

“... I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that I told you I don’t like big parties or the fact that you threw me one.” Richard said dully. “Listen, I just got done with a crash course in flying, so can we not-”

“Woo! Show us those wings, big boy!” Called a drunk mare’s voice from within the crowd of townsponies.

“WHO LET BERRY PUNCH INTO THE BOOZE?!” Screamed another mare with toothpaste hair.

“Lighten-*hic*-up Colgate~! Ish a Par-tay~!” The drunken voice responded as the toothpaste-themed mare growled and muscled towards the back of the crowd.

“Pinkie…” Richard deadpanned.

“Yeah, Richy?” Pinkie responded, already using a nickname.

“Did you throw me a party with booze in it and invite ALL of the town?” Richard asked plainly.

“Yepper-doodles I did Richy!” Pinkie responded cheerfully. “Is that a bad thi-oh~… I see what you mean.”

“Yeah, so could you either get the booze out of the party or tell the kids here to go home?!” Richard demanded angrily.

“Don’t worry kidsh! Auntie Berry’ll keep teh evil drinksh out of reach!” The resounding chorus of disappointed foals would’ve been comical if the pony saying it wasn’t already wasted.

“No! Don’t let her get to the booze! She’ll drink all of it!” Came the voice of the mare dubbed Colgate as she ran back in and tackled Berry Punch. “Berry! You were supposed to limit yourself!”

“Shut up! Teh probation offi...offi...pony shaid shum now an’ then ish fine!”

“... What is my life?” Richard said to himself outloud.

“Oh! Do you want me to tell you?” Pinkie cheerfully said.

“... I really don’t like you right now.”

About an hour later into the party, Richard had called it quits and sat down on a couch in the middle of everything. The noise, the crowding, the beer that he didn’t want to drink, it was too much. The velvet cake was delicious though.

“Ugh. Why do things always happen like this to me?” Richard asked himself aloud.

“What are you so upset about?” Said a random approaching mare who sat down next to Richard. She had a dark blue coat, a black mane, and blue eyes. Her cutie mark was that of several stars.

“Oh nothing. Nothing important at least.” Richard said. “Just thinking about how my life has been going so far.”

“Oh really? And how has it been?” The mare asked.

“Well, it was all going fine until the party rolled around.” Richard said simply. “And then some random mare showed up and started bugging me. And just a little note, I know it’s you, Luna.”

“W-what?!” The mare almost screamed. “I-I’m not Princess Luna! What in Equestria-”

“Luna, drop the act. Celestia is already here in the party undisguised. There’s no need to hide yourself.” Richard stated. “Seriously, though, you’re too obvious. Plus, I’ve seen you before when you used to sneak out at night, remember?”

“I did always use the same form, didn’t I?” The mare said before glowing a subtle white light and transforming into Princess Luna. “So, are you enjoying your own party?”

“You know my answer. I’ve never had a big thing for huge parties like this.” Richard responded, and he sighed as even sitting on the couch, he was almost bumped into.

“We remember, Richy. We wish we could help you out here.” Luna said sadly, since she was never one for big gatherings either.

“Well, there is something. And I do need to talk to you about it.” Richard said as he draped an arm around Luna’s neck. “You see, Celestia was talking to me a lot during the time she spent teaching me how to fly. Among the things we talked about, we talked about you.”

“What about me?” Luna asked suspiciously, knowing that he and Celestia used to pull pranks on her.

“Well, among things, relationships.” Richard explained. “In all, it just came down to a saying back from Earth which goes, ‘when in Rome’, which apparently also exists here as ‘Roam’. So, if you get what I mean…” Richard moved his free hand in a circular motion.

“Oh… Oh~!” Luna said, blushing slightly with a small smile. “So, you have come around to the idea of courting us as well as our sister?”

“Well, let’s just say I’m willing to see where it leads.” Richard said simply.

“Y-you are? Truly?” Luna said, tears of joy forming in her eyes. “Richard...we...we are so happy.” Luna quickly grabbed Richard’s face and gave him an amorous kiss on the mouth, getting him to flail and whine as he tried to push the much more physically powerful mare off of him. Terrarian he may be, but ponies have them muscles for reasons.

“MMMFF!”

“I see you told her the news.” Came the voice of Celestia who emerged from the crowd of ponies, some of whom were gawking, others cheering them on. “It’s nice to see you’d become active with her first before me, the one you’ve loved for years longer.” Luna immediately pushed off of Richard after Celestia’s comment.

“S-sister! ‘Tis not as it seems!” Luna objected fiercely.

“Yeah! She shoved herself on me!” Richard accused. “Seriously! If this is how a relationship with both of you is going to be, let it be known I’m already getting second doubts.”

“N-no! We’re sorry, Richard! Please, please! Let us make it up to-”

“Luna. It’s okay. Celestia already convinced me to try it out. Stopping everything here and now wouldn’t be giving it the fair try I promised Celestia.” Richard explained.

“Besides, I was only teasing.” Celestia said with concern. “Don’t take everything I say to heart Richard. Though, did you really have to be so forward about everything, sister?”

“We’re sorry, Celestia. We’ll make it up to you later.” Luna stated. She then directed her gaze towards Richard, her look becoming filled with want, one of more than innocent intent that made Richard gulp. “Hopefully we shall make it up to you with Richard.”

“... I need an adult?” Richard asked nervously.

“We are adults.” Luna and Celestia said simultaneously before grabbing Richard in their magics and carrying him upwards into the higher levels of the tower-like house.

“Alright, I think it’s time we wind this party down a bit and everyone gets on home! Sorry to be a downer, everypony, but it’s getting late and we all have things to do!” Pinkie asserted to all the rowdy late-stayers that kept partying to a point where even she felt it was rude. There were certain parties you don’t become a wastrel, and this was one of them. Her belief: if the Pink Pony doesn’t get drunk at a party, it isn’t that kind of party.

“Oh c’mon Pinksh, we’re havin’ sho much fun!” Berry complained as Colgate, only slightly tipsy, was dragging her wasted friend towards the door.

“Thanks for the great party as usual Pinkie.” Colgate said with an apologetic look involving her friend’s behavior tonight.

“No problem, Colgate. Just remember to give Berry some tylenol when she wakes up.” Pinkie said, casually tossing Colgate a couple of tablets.

“I’ll be sure to remember.” Colgate said, catching the tablets in her hammerspace and exiting the building.

“Dickie~! Where are you?” Came the lustful call of Celestia from the fifth floor, just as Richard crashed down onto the bottom floor through the central skylight pillar in nothing but his boxers.

“Pinkie, you have to help me.” Richard said. “As much as I love them, I’m not so ready for-”

“Oh, stop being such a scared virgin dealing with his first time, Richy.” Pinkie said, laying down a sick burn on Richard. “Now you get up there and stallion up, or you’ll be missing out on the rest of your life.”

“... Ow, my pride.” Richard said.

“Besides! You have two of the princesses of Equestria fawning over you!” Pinkie casually reminded Richard. “There’s nothing here that could be better than that! Except maybe Cadence, but she’s married. Now you get up there and get your man card and afterwards I’ll give you a gift!”

“Why didn’t you use a pony pun?” Richard asked, considering Pinkie didn’t know him or his race enough to even use the word Man.

“What? Stallion is a mouthful compared to man. Now get up there!” Pinkie cheered before shoving Richard, and he blinked at suddenly finding himself back upstairs, in bed with the sisters rounding the central ‘pillar’ and spotting him.

‘I don’t know what scares me more. Terraria returning, or that pink pony….’

Richard groaned as the gentle sunlight woke him up from his deep slumber, he was alone, and considering the Sisters had to move the sun and moon around, he could understand him waking up alone. “Richie.” Richard turned to the voice to see the door to the stairwell opening and Luna enter his floor of the tower. “It is good to see that you’ve woken up. Sorry to have left you, but we didn’t want to wake you up as soon as we need to.”

“Ugh...what happened last night? I’m so tired I can’t remember why I’m so tired….” Richard said, blinking a few times and sniffling, catching wind of a horrid stench. “Oh good lord, what died?!... Oh… Now I get it. So… How was it? Heh.”

Luna wrinkled her nose at the smell, and shrugged. “You were actually quite impressive, given your size compared to stallions.” Luna swept a spell through Richard and the bed, the stench suddenly gone. Magic is awesome.

“Yeah, thanks. There goes the man card.” Richard said.

“On the contrary, the amount of stamina you possess is rather impressive.” Luna admitted, rubbing her neck for some reason.

“Does that mean you’ve been getting around, Luna?” Richard teased.

“While I am no strumpet, I have had more than a few stallions back then, and in this new era. Being ‘Mistress of the Night’ makes many rather...presumptuous of my prowess for ‘nightly activity’.” Luna giggled into a hoof.

“... So, dirty dreams?” Richard assumed. “Makes sense. Ponies are perverts sometimes.”

“Oh yes, quite so. ‘Tis amusing sometimes, other times offensive, but usually it is quite flattering.” Luna stated. “On that note, a certain squadron of my guard are quite obsessed with me. ‘Tis quite flattering of the mares, though still somewhat strange.” Luna admitted, since homosexuality was something unheard of back in the day.

“Heh, looks like I have some ‘competition’ then.” Richard joked. “But in all honesty, I’m glad you enjoyed last night. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need a shower.”

“Yes, I understand. But first, the former Element of Laughter left you a gift.” Luna said, levitating over a pink box topped with a darker pink bow.

“Cool.” Richard said, taking the box from Luna’s magic. He untied the bow and took off the lid and peered inside. “Let’s see what she-” Richard did not expect Pinkie’s gift. Inside the box was a pair of reddish-orange boots with a white feather attached to each boot’s heel.

“W-what? How...where did she get those?!” Luna gawked at the boots, utterly shocked at their very presence. “Tia said they’d gone missing when a thief broke into the castle vault so long ago!”

“Hell if I know!” Richard yelled. “Hell, I even remember when they went missing! You two had me track down the thief! I ended up meeting Surprise and losing the-.” Richard came to a sudden realization. “... Damn it Surprise! She was the one who stole them! And what with her crazy ‘abilities’ she probably knew that this would happen some day! Damn it!”

“Well, it works out in the end, anyways. Sister shall be by soon to take you to a volcano in Dragon Territory.” Luna said as if it were nothing big.

“WHAT?!”

“Yes, she said something about helping out an element and giving her more time to be with you.” Luna stated. “Ah, reminds me of when we were young. Every chance she got, she’d run off and join you on one of your adventures, much to our parents dismay.”

“Yeah, I remember.” Richard groaned. “But seriously? A freaking volcano in DRAGON TERRITORY?! That’s just asking for something to go wrong!”

“Oh relax, actually, either of us need to head out there and remind them why they do not land in our territory at all. That dragon that roosted on the Smokey Mountain and the one who decided to make the Everfree his home had to be made examples of.” Luna smouldered angrily.

“Right, multiple ulterior motives. Great.” Richard said. “So, how long until she shows up?”

“Considering she took your armor with her to have cleaned and pressed, I’m not sure.” Luna responded. “Though, we could

“Luna, no. I’m sore from last night and no matter what spell you cast on me, I need a shower.” Richard stated.

“As am I. Of course, I could join you in the bath.” Luna said. “‘Twould be nice to have someone get between my wings.”

“... Fine. Just don’t try and pull something on me. I’m still WAY too sore for something like last night.” Richard said.

“Also, this would be a good time to teach you about preening.” Luna idly mentioned, getting Richard to groan.

“Fine!”

Richard and Luna took an hour in the shower cleaning themselves and each other. Most of the time, however, was spent teaching Richard how to preen wings properly. When they got out, Celestia was sitting on the bed waiting for them with a scowl on her face.

“I certainly hope you weren’t up to any ‘wet fun’ in the bath without me.” Celestia said coldly.

“Not at all sister, I was merely teaching Richard how to preen his new wings.” Luna said factually, to which Richard nodded since he was still trying to retain what he’d learned so he wouldn’t need multiple lessons to remember something that intimate.

“Oh, took the chance to feel up his new wings hm?” Celestia teased with a grin.

“Celestia! I’m surprised! Being so vulgar and perverted!” Came a smooth voice similar to a famous actor from Earth. “Ta-Da~!” Discord popped into the room, wearing an Indiana Jones outfit, pith helmet and all, multiple suitcases piled behind him. “Ready for adventure! We have things to locate and parents to find! So let’s get to it!” Discord snapped his taloned hand and suddenly Richard was dressed in his Obsidian attire and Lava Waders, and the sisters were fully garbed in their royal armor. They all looked questioningly at Discord, as if he had just proposed an impossible feat. “What? What is wrong?”

“Well… We were actually going to go do something.” Richard stated. “Actually, we were going to go help a friend by grabbing some obsidian from a volcano in Dragon Territory.”

“Oh? Well, that sounds like one of the places I was going to take you, actually. So allow me to assist you.” Discord said, snapping his talons again, teleporting them all to an obsidian island in the middle of a volcano, probably formed by rain or something. “There we go. Middle of Dragon Territory. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must be off before the ambassador comes along and attempts to ‘slay me’ like his father tried years ago.” Discord snapped his talon fingers again and disappeared.

“DISCORD! WHERE ARE YOU?! I FELT YOUR CHAOS!” Came a deep booming voice as a very large dragon accompanied by two smaller dragons flew up to greet Celestia, Luna, and Richard with the intent of murdering Discord. The dragon visibly calmed down when it saw the sisters and Richard. “Oh! The Equestrian Princesses! And the rider of legends? I did not think I would see the day when my father’s tales of greatness would be presented in front of me as reality. How goes you all?”

“We are fine, Lord Dirkine. How are you?” Celestia said as she rose off the platform to greet the large dragon.

The second she rose of the platform, however, the platform started shaking and three purple orbs rose from the lava. One at a time, they broke. The first one sent a chill down everyone’s spines, the second one caused screams to echo out. The third and final orb did nothing, instead a loud monstrous roar echoed from underground before a massive worm with multiple eyes jumped from one side of the volcano, devoured one of the small dragons flanking Lord Dirkine, and dove back into the ground on the opposite side of the volcano. This caused the other small dragon to panic, and Lord Dirkine and Celestia to land on the obsidian island in the center of the massive volcano. The poor panicking dragon had no chance as a massive mechanical worm bursted out of the lava with a mechanical roar that sounded like a million cicrularsaws, catching him in its mulching mouth and diving back into the lava.

“... Shit.” Richard said. “Just… shit.”

Author's Notes:

So yeah! More shit! XD
I say shit in reference to the last line that Richard says. Ya know, the fact that BOTH the Eater of Worlds and Destroyer of Worlds showed up. And yes, I actually went to test this in my game before I wrote this. I am DEDICATED to giving you guys a good time while still sticking to most of what Terraria holds true. XD

Anyways, I need to get back to my 'research' and work on the next chapter.
I also have to deal with college, so yeah. XD
This is Music Mod, signing off!