Author's Notes:

Sorry this took so long to get out guys! College was a bitch, and it's gonna start up again soon!
I swear to you, though, this time I won't take as long in between chapters. I have a chapter coming up soonish right now, actually.

And in terms for this chapter, yes, there is bullshit, but that's because I wanted to get this out to you faster. It gets explained, don't worry.
Also? Discord's a jackass.

“Monsters! They devoured my clansdrakes like they were nothing!” Dirkine roared, quite literally, and the Destroyer leapt up out of the lava at him, only for the angry Elder Dragon to spin and smack it off course with his tail.

“Holy shit! Not even Grand Elder Seether could do that to Destroyer last time!” Richard gawked, especially since Dirkine was barely half Seether’s size. “Either he’s got some good genes, training, or Terraria is weaker if smarter this time around.”

“Doubtful.” Came a foreign voice.

“What?” Richard said, looking around for the source of the voice, only to just barely notice the Eater of Worlds jumping at him in time to dodge it, causing the Eater to jump back off of the obsidian platform and into the side of the volcano again. “Who’s out there?! Show yourself, coward!”

“Fool. I’ve always been here.” Came the voice from directly in front of Richard, just as the Destroyer came barrelling towards him from the same direction as the voice. Suddenly, the air in front of him started emitting particles of black and green before revealing a humanoid shaped figure wearing special armor. Just as it looked like the Destroyer was going to crash into both this new figure and Richard, the figure raised a hand, and the Destroyer stopped its advance.

“V-vortex armor?!” Richard said in surprise as the Destroyer retreated back to a spot to ‘watch’ as Celestia, Luna, and Dirkine kept their attention on it, and it’s hissing fleshy twin reared out to join its brother. “H-how?! That armor hasn’t been seen since-”

“The Battle of the Pillars. Yes, I remember that battle.” The figure said as it started to walk around Richard. “It was great fighting with you so long ago. To have fought alongside you all those years ago. How you could rally the troops in such a time of need is beyond me, but you did it. You could be of so much more use to the other side, you ever consider that?”

“W-what?!”

“TRAITOR! Betraying your fellow dragons!” Came Dirkine’s yell at the figure. “How dare you!”

“How dare I? How dare you! Working with these two weaklings! Might is Right has always been our way, and I’ve watched as our race grew content, and fat on their jewels, scattering to the four winds. We used to be a nation! We had a culture! You and yours have condemned us! The Moon Lord would’ve been the right choice!”

“... The… Moon Lord?...” Richard parroted, somewhat in thought. “... Ar-... Argonius? But how?! And why?! You were one of my most trusted allies!”

“Not enough to be in the ‘final fight’ against the Moon Lord! And even then, do you know what he could have done for us?!” The dragon figure now identified as Argonius screamed. “He would have brought order! Given us POWER! Let us rule how we wanted to! Liberated all the nations from any sort of tyranny! And for what?! To be worshipped like the god he is! No! Instead you gave me this armor, gave that dog the Stardust set, and gave the Nebula set to that shitty wizard!”

“Clover deserved that armor, damn you! She would have died without it!” Richard yelled at Argonius.

“That shitty wizard died with it! Her mortality led to her dying of old age and being buried with that armor.” Argonius lilted a bit, and everyone audibly growled at what he insinuated. “So, a lot of good it did her then, hm? If she’d joined the other side, she’d still be here today. The Moon Lord is about stasis even in a state of rot. Zombies are a beautiful thing, aren’t they? Rotted as they are, they still live, in a way.”

“You sick bastard.” Celestia yelled. “They should be left to their eternal slumber! Left to lay in their eternal peace!”

“You mean like the current state you think your precious Equestria is?!” Argonius shouted back. “Your little ‘utopia’ is worse than you think, you horrible cu-!”

“Finish that word and it’s your life.” Richard deadpanned as he placed the edge of Meowmere to Argonius’ throat.

“Ironically, you’re a little late on that.” Argonius chuckled darkly, only to be silenced by Richard shoving Meowmere into his throat…

Or it would seem like that, because as Richard plunged his legendary blade into Argonius’ armor, he was only met with more laughter.

“I see you don’t get it yet. I died years ago!” Argonius shouted with a cackle as he vanished, and with a snap the Destroyer and Eater were roaring and back on the charge, making everyone dodge as they dove at them.

“Possessed armor?! How were you able to perform such dark magic?” Celestia cried as she deflected the laser of one of Destroyer’s nodes. “Where is the cult that brought you ba-”

“SILENCE, WHORE!” Argonious shouted angrily, the Destroyer lunging at Celestia in response to Argonious’ anger.

“Hey! Your fight is with me, Argonius! Leave Celestia alone!” Richard shouted.

“As if I’d leave your little breeding slave alone.” Argonius snarked. “She deserves to die, as does her sister, and the bastard of a king!”

“W-what the fuck?! We’re not even the same species!” Richard blushed vividly as he felt the air move, and managed to parry an invisible strike from Argonius, but his responding swipe and following Nyan cat struck nothing to his frustration.

“Transformation magic!” Luna quipped hurriedly as she dodged the Eater and bucked it hard enough to dislodge the segment she kicked, and the Eater quickly dove back down to regroup and strike again.

“Oh no, we’re NOT talking about this NOW of all times!” Richard shouted in embarrassment as he seethed and tried to figure out where Argonius was. “C’mon Richard, you’ve fought invisible enemies before….”

“But you’ve always had a hard time sensing them.” Argonius mocked. Richard took a swing in the direction his voice came from, just missing, but nailing home enough to break off the tailpiece of the Vortex armor, causing Argonius to forcibly de-cloak. “YOU INSOLENT LITTLE MAGGOT!”

“Says the guy who forgets that he’s wearing RANGED armor!” Richard said, shrinking Meowmere and putting it in his pocket before charging Argonius and pushing him just over the edge of the obsidian island and into the lava before diving in after him.

“YOU FOOL!” Argonius shouted. “You must have a deathwish! I’m immune to the lava!”

“But whatever’s keeping you in that armor isn’t!” Richard shouted, taking out Meowmere again and extending the blade out directly into the middle of the armor that Argonius’ spirit was inhabiting, allowing lava to seep into the Vortex armor.

“DAMN YOU!” Argonious shouted, his voice now softer than before, a sign his spirit was no longer connected to the armor. “I’LL BE BACK! BUT WHAT ABOUT YOU?!” The Vortex armor shut off immediately afterwards, becoming nothing but a lifeless suit of armor once more, floating on the thick molten surface.

Back on the surface of the obsidian island, without their ‘master’ to guide them, the Eater and Destroyer were going crazy, attacking Celestia, Luna, and Dirkine in random patterns, but the Destroyer managed to maintain some level of tactics in comparison to it’s fleshy sibling. There was that, and it’s attacks were more rapid and dangerous, considering it could dive into the lava and jump back out, all while superheated.

“What happened down there?!” Dirkine yelled.

“Richard must have disabled Argonius!” Luna screamed. “But he’s still in the lava! He must have sank several meters!”

“He’s been in there for five seconds! How could he have disabled Argonius in FIVE SECONDS?!” Dirkine yelled.

“The better question is how is he going to get out of that!” Celestia screamed as she dodged one of the Destroyer’s dives for her, several drones deploying and attempting to fry her with lasers as she shot it with her magic. “He has the lava waders on. But those will only last him SEVEN seconds! TAKE CARE OF THE WORMS, I’M GOING IN!” Celestia then erected a barrier around her and dove into the lava around where Richard had jumped in with Argonius.

“Your sister is as crazy as ever, Night Mother!” Dirkine yelled at Luna.

“You are not one of my thestrals! Do not call me that!” Luna yelled back at Dirkine as she summoned a large broadsword with a crescent shaped guard and taking a swipe at the Eater. “And you do not dare focus on my sister while there is a battle in front of you! Get your head out of your- WATCH OUT!” Luna screamed, throwing her blade at Dirkine, missing him and nailing one of the Destroyer’s drones that had decided to target him.

“Thank you, Luna! Mind if I use it?” Dirkine asked, taking the sword out of the broken drone as he dove to avoid a laser shot from one of the other drones. “Where is your sister?! It has been WELL over the time where Richard would have perished! Where is-”

“HOW DARE YOU SPEAK ILL OF HIM!” Luna yelled, dodging a lunge from the Eater and directing her momentum into a kick to Dirkine’s jaw, an audible crack resounding from the impact. “He has save your kind and mine multiple times, all before you were even born! Now focus on the battle or the next visit I take to my moon shall be to say hello to YOU!”

“Very well, Princess.” ‘Didn’t know the legendary Terrarian was into herds… Note to self, send daughter over.’

‘Where is he?!’ Celestia thought to herself as she floated through the lava. ‘The seven seconds are up! I should have seen something by now!’ Her dive took her even deeper into the lava, to the point where she was nearing the bottom of the caldera of the volcano, and was able to make out small tubes where the lava fed into the volcano through the magic barrier that was keeping the lava off of her. [And to be meta as fuck, why did it allow her to see through a solid? Fuck if I know, it’s magic. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a story to read, and ‘eggnog’ to finish drinking.] ‘Scorched armor, that fire resistant black cloth turning into a crisp, ANYTHING!’

As if to answer her question, a small flash of light emitted from one of the tubes leading into the caldera.

‘THERE! It has to be him!’ Celestia screamed in her head as she forced herself and her magical bubble through the lava and into the tube. As she emerged into the pocket of lava that fed into the tube, she noticed the flash go off again above her. She forced herself up through the lava to what appeared the ‘surface’ of a small air pocket in the lava pocket, only to be met with a happy sight. “Richard! You’re alive!” She screamed with joy.

“Yeah, what did you expect? A charred corpse?” Richard joked darkly. “Don’t answer that. Just be happy I got in here. Turns out, Discord’s being a little prick and watching all of this. He noticed I was in danger, and gave me that.” Richard pointed to a red orbed staff that was lying on the ground. “Yeah, that’s a Rod of Discord, ha ha. So yeah, he teleported in, gave me that, got singed a bit, and teleported away right after I took out Argonius. In the next two seconds, I blindly teleported into this pocket, hurting myself all the while, and then QUICKLY dug out this tiny pocket with Meowmere and this random ass copper shovel I found in the armor. Honestly, I’m just amazed I got in here. I personally thank the bullshit magic that is being the Terrarian. Still don’t understand all of it myself.”

“... So, among things, where’s the shovel, and where’s the armor?” Celestia questioned.

“The shovel burned the second I dropped it in the lava, and the armor is over in the corner over there.” Richard explained. “Now, I have a question for you, how are we getting out of here, and are the Destroyer and Eater dead?”

“I was thinking the same way I came in, and no. They’re not dead.”

“FUCK!”

“WHERE ARE YOU SISTER?!” Luna shrieked as she attempted to dodge another lunge from the Destroyer, only to have her wing clipped. The Eater followed up on it’s ‘brother’s’ attack and slammed into Luna, sending her tumbling into the obsidian platform below.

“Are you alright, Luna?” Dirkine asked in concern as he evaded another shot from a Destroyer probe. “It would be a shame if a lowly worm were to take out the mighty Lunar Princess.”

“Ha ha. You are not as amusing as you think, Dirkine.” Luna snidely remarked. “Focus on the battle so you do not die yourself.” Luna chided, but she then noticed something new. “Where has the machine gone?”

“I do not know, last I saw it had been diving towards me.” Dirkine responded as he whipped his serpentine head about, trying to spot it, and only seeing the writhing Eater along the caldera’s rim. “It would have dove into the lava at the angle it was in. Why would it not surface?”

“It is made of some kind of metal, Dirkine. Based on how it’s been showing very little damage, and all we’ve been doing is hitting it, I’d say tungsten.” Luna suggested, slipping into a more intellectual rather than combative tone.

“While I do appreciate the guess, now is not the time to slip into your forge mistress mentality!” Dirkine yelled as the Eater dared to jumped at them from the caldera’s rim.

Just as the Eater neared the two, the Destroyer burst out of the lava, crashing into the middle of the Eater and cleaving it in two, sending half of it flying back towards the rim of the caldera while the other was sent flying towards Dirkine and Luna, only for a blast of red-tinted-rainbow magic to burst out of the lava and incinerate the worm. Following the blast came Richard riding Celestia inside of a bubble of magic. Celestia’s horn was glowing brightly, and Richard’s sword was radiating a rainbow aura.

“THAT’S why we combine attacks, dear.” Celestia said nonchalantly as she landed on the obsidian island and Richard dismounted her.

“Shush. We need to figure out how to kill these fuckers.” Richard said angrily. “Argonius was their puppet master, and with them dead they’re-”

“Automated puppets running rampant?” Luna finished. “Yeah, we know. They’ve been running around crazily since you jumped in the lava. Speaking of that, how did you even survive?”

“Discord popped in. Gave me this thing.” Richard said, holding up the staff that Discord had given him. “It’s called the Rod of Discord and it allows me to teleport short distances.”

“Hold up, if the Lord of Chaos gave you that, how did he know how to find you?” Dirkine questioned.

“That’s an excellent question, dear King of Dragons.” Came a very whimsical voice from out of seemingly nowhere. “An excellent question that only I, Discord, could answer.” And as how Discord was, so he appeared.

“You cheeky dick. You BETTER be here to help.” Richard threatened. “Otherwise, I’m killing you instead of the worms. Got that?”

“Oh, trust me, I’m just here to help.” Discord said, snapping his fingers just as both worms attempted to dive at him. They both teleported into the air and became stock straight. “Now now, you two. Don’t you know how to die with dignity?” Discord snapped his fingers again, creating an obsidian block around the worms. “There, that’s much better. So, while they’re in the death room, how about I get you and your loot out of here.” And with another snap of his fingers, Discord teleported himself and everybody on the obsidian island, as well as the island itself, out of the caldera and back to the area directly outside of Richard’s huge house. Two loot bags popped into existence in front of them a few seconds later.

“... COULDN’T YOU HAVE DONE THAT EARLIER?!” Richard yelled at Discord as he jumped onto the draconequus and began strangling him. “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!”

“I’M THE LORD OF CHAOS!” Discord struggled to scream out. “EVERYTHING IS -ECH- WRONG WITH ME!”

As Richard continued to strangle Discord, Twilight and one of her friends came out of his house and began to greet them. “Welcome back everypo- WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO MY DISCORD?!” Came a very petite voice that turned into a fierce shriek, just as a yellow blur tackled Richard to the ground. “NOPONY HURTS MY DISCORD!”