Once Bronze had been sent home rather suddenly, and everybody felt most of their tension had gone, it was soberingly depressing to leave the spa and witness the destruction wrought by the Twins.

From here, Richard could see several utterly demolished and burnt-out buildings that not even rapid response by weather ponies could save, and Sugarcube Corner seemed to be missing a whole section of it’s top floor and roof. Above and to the northwest, Rainbow wilted at the sight of what must’ve been her cloud home, the bottom was sheared off or likely evaporated by intense heat, and her rainbow fountain was dumping the remains of its bounty to the ground below. This resulted in the pegasus getting a comforting wing-hug from Twilight in response to Dash’s sadness, and that wasn’t even mentioning the orchards to the northeast closer to the Everfree that were on fire, thankfully it was the western parts away from the forest that had been set aflame, if the Everfree caught fire…*shudder*, the retribution….

Luckily, most of the other homes were intact, if not a bit singed. The biggest mess though was the remains of the ghostly robotic eyes, blood, eye jelly, and all sorts of thready, disgusting viscera was everywhere around the site of their demise, which everypony, including the cleanup crews, were avoiding like the plague. Just as well, it’d be easier to clean up later when it had dried up a bit.

“My house...I...I can’t afford that right now….” Rainbow sniffled as Twilight nuzzled her friend.

“Hey, Rainbow. It’ll be okay. You can stay with me since Richard built me a new house. It even has roof access.” Twilight offered as she looked to Richard searchingly, and he understood the implied question.

"Yeah, just let me prepare you a room. Most of them haven't been furnished." Richard said.

“You don’t have to do that...I could just grab some of my cloud furniture and bring it down real quick.” Rainbow said with a hitch in her voice. “At least...what might be in my guest room or bedroom. My kitchen, my living room...that’ll have gone poof once it hit the ground if whatever blew up my home’s foundation didn’t-.” Rainbow’s words were halted at the horrifying sight of the rest of the foundation giving way, and the denser clouds of the home itself, having lost its buoyant gravity-defying base, tumbled down and crashed into the earth like a cheap doughy mess. “...N...nevermind….” Dash began crying, trying not to as she leaned into Twilight.

“Hey, don’t cry.” Richard said. “I can help you make a new one. I could probably even make you a new cloud-like bed to sleep on.”

“That’s cool of you dude, but...I got that house with my own money, I built it with my own hooves. I can’t just...replace it. I don’t think I could have someone else just make me a new one.” Dash sniffled as she considered her options.

“Eh, I can just do it.”

“Look, I appreciate the idea, don’t get me wrong. But I want to build my own place, I’m fine with crashing with Twilight while I get my things in order, but I’d be glad to have some help with it.” Rainbow admitted, clearly she didn’t want her home to lose any sort of personal affection by having it made solely by someone else.

“Suit yourself, then.” Richard said with a shrug, since he could understand somewhat. “At least let me get you set up in a room for tonight.”

“Or as long as you need.” Twilight insisted, nuzzling her teary friend. “You’re a friend Rainbow, I’d never leave you out to dry.”

Rainbow smiled and sniffled as she nuzzled back. “And here I thought I was Loyalty….”

“Alright, enough of poking around. You two can do the dirty later.” Richard said, causing both Twilight and Rainbow to blush deeply. “Let’s just get home already. Hopefully pick you up a bed from that shop we saw earlier.”

“Sleep well you all, we shall remain to oversee progress on preserving and repairing the town, you get some sleep as well sister.” Luna bid farewell to everyone, and Celestia yawned before nodding and teleporting back to her castle for some rest. ‘Richard.’ Luna’s telepathic voice echoed over to the human as he was walking towards his new pad with his housemates, and he paused to look back. ‘I have terrible news, I shall speak with you in your dreams of them.’

‘Why not now?’ Richard thought clearly, so she could hear his surface thoughts, due to him being unable to use telepathy himself.

‘I was unsure of the implications until tonight, I shall tell you when there are not others around who would panic. Sleep well and I shall see you soon Richy.’ Luna took off on her wings over the besieged town, and Richard turned back around to follow the quietly speaking mares, likely about house rules or arrangements or whatnot.

‘I hope it isn’t what I’m thinking of….’

Dreaming was always a surreal affair, it was never the same every time. Especially when Luna got her hooves on Richard’s dreams, she was an artist to be sure. As the Terrarian, Richard never actually needed to sleep, but rather he chose to because Luna showed him how fun dreams could be, and he also enjoyed the rest that came with it. This time, the darkness faded into a view of a movie theater, it’s been forever since he’d even been to the opera, but this wasn’t a proper theater, the giant screen and lack of a stage being testament to that.

“Luna! Lulu, you here?”

“Richie~!” Luna squealed and Richard was once again tackled from behind, tumbling down rows of dream-quality seats that felt like clouds rather than firm seating until he ended up sitting in the front row next to Luna somehow.

“Lulu! How has it been old friend?” Richard asked. “I so missed our nightly meetings in the realm of dreams.”

“Oh, it’s been grand dear Richard! The past couple of years, we have reintegrated into society, and ponies love us again! We are so glad you are home too. Now if only mother and father were back. The whole family would be together again.” Luna cheered as she nuzzled Richard’s face. “Let us look at thee. You seem to have gained weight...were you being overwatered?”

“You know that’s not a thing and I know that I’m not fat.” Richard said defensively. “Come on. Anyways, didn’t you have something to tell me? Something about dreams recently?”

Luna backed away a bit and pouted at Richard with crossed forelegs, making Richard stifle a snicker at how adorable she was after so long. “Of course, ‘tis always business with you first.” Luna rolled her eyes

“You know that’s not true!” Richard said defensively. “You know how fun I am!”

“Then why haven’t you bed our sister yet?” Luna asked, causing Richard’s face to erupt into a fierce blush. “Or better yet, why have you not even tried with me either? Haven’t I been obvious?” Luna raised an eyebrow as Richard sputtered. “Hm...art thou perhaps a colt-cuddler? We could arrange a blind date with our guard captain! He’s such a stick in the mud, he needs to get-.”

“I am not into males! I have nothing against colt-cuddlers, but I am NOT one of them!” Richard yelled. “And what the hell are you talking about?! I- Luna- I thought- I’m in a relationship with your sister!”

“And?” Luna asked perplexed, genuinely perplexed. “Tis normal, even to this day. If thou not wish for a more romantic relationship we will be fine with that.” Luna happily conceded to, apparently not at all let down by Richard’s apparent refusal, which he was just completely confused over.

“Please. Can we just stay friends?” Richard asked politely. “I mean, back where I’m from, all of this is considered strange, weird… I’m just really not used to it. And while I’ve been here for so long, I’m still not over all of it.”

“Very well, but we still demand platonic snuggles!” Luna declared with a hug, crushing Richard’s perceived lungs.

“Ask nicely.” Richard joked.

“Never! You are our Richy cuddle-bear. If we cannot have you for more devious things, then snuggles are a must.” Luna laughed as she pulled him to the floor, which suddenly turned into an amphitheatre of sorts with a projector aimed up at the concave interior of a dome. “Behold friend Richie, the dream of our sister!”

Before Richard could question it, the projector turned on and it was apparently of a cheesy scene between Richard and Celestia, having a picnic, making Richard smile as he sighed from between Luna’s still hugging forelegs. “You haven’t changed a bit in over a thousand years.” The dream Richard said to Celestia as he fed her pieces of double fudge cake.

“... Wow. That is cheesy as hell.” Richard said. “Is that really how she thinks I act? After all these years? Hell, we actually WENT on a picnic before I got trapped. She should know me better than this.”

“You would not believe how often sister has dreams like this. We’re afraid that time has eroded her memories of you more than mine, considering we were alone on the moon, hibernating most of the time. She however, has had to run the country that whole time, and loneliness is a monster we both have experience with in different ways.” Luna admitted sadly to Richard who nodded.

“Uh huh. Can you pop me into her dream?” Richard asked casually as he continued to watch the dream Richard feed Celestia more cake. “You know… For old time’s sake.”

“In a moment. But I feel I have drawn out the pleasantries enough...I really do not wish to ruin any happiness your return may have had, but I must warn you….” Luna sadly said as the dome suddenly shattered outward, the stone it was made of falling up into a void instead, and revealed a writhing mass seemingly composed of every enemy Richard had ever faced, before a giant slitted green eye opened among them all, piercing them with raw hatred and power before the dome suddenly reappeared, all of it gone. “He is returning….”

“No… We killed him…” Richard said, shocked at what he had just saw. “I… I saw his bones… He’s dead, Luna. There’s no way he could return. He’s DEAD!”

“And yet, here we are, having witnessed a mere fragment of a nightmare I have seen in several of the realm’s children, many of them in Ponyville, happening around the time just before my sister came teleporting in demanding a battalion of soldiers to move on Ponyville to protect the town.” Luna explained. “Twas quite a sight, seeing our sister in such a panic after having witnessed this nightmare. I cannot say it was a coincidence, either. If you recall, this same nightmare that happened so frequently back before we vanquished the Moon Lord.”

“Yes… I remember that… But he’s dead!” Richard said, continuing to beat his argument into the ground.

“So were the Twins, yet they came back.” Luna countered with dead seriousness as she continued to hug her friend, trying to keep hold on him so he couldn’t eject her from his dream.

“... But how?! We killed all of the bosses, destroyed all of the summoning items…” Richard explained. “We even killed all of the-..... No…. NO! Do you remember that one cultist we found so long ago? You know, the first one? The one we actually held captive?!”

“Yes. He escaped soon after and was never seen or heard from again. Why?” Luna asked curiously. “Surely he is dead. It has been over a thousand years.”

“I can use your own argument for that: So were the Twins.” Richard said. “Do you remember what their goal was? That whole, summon the Moon Lord thing using that ‘cosmic power’ saying that he was going to give them eternal life when he came?!”

“Certainly you are not insinuating he succeeded! If that was so, where were they all for a thousand years?” Luna was aghast at the idea, but it did make some sort of sense.

“I’m not even sure. But I know one thing, the terrors of Terraria will not go away so long as any of those Cultists or their Lord exist….” Richard growled, before slumping into Luna’s chest, glad her dream form wasn’t wearing her peytral.

“‘Tis a distressing thought indeed. We shall inform the Guard and our sister of your theory.” Luna stated. “For now, though, let us enjoy what time is left in the dream realm. Such as~!” Richard suddenly found himself falling face-first at Celestia, who gasped and caught his lips with her own on accident, and they broke away with rapid blinking to see Luna laying off to the side, grinning cheekily as the picnic turned into a rather sensual bedroom setting, and she waved before vanishing, leaving the two lovers alone.

“LUNA!” Richard and Celestia yelled together.

Thankfully, after Luna left, Celestia was more than in agreement with Richard to keep things chaste, even in a dream that was compelling them to do naughty things. They enjoyed what was left of the dream, snuggling and talking until finally they both woke up.

To Richard’s surprise, there was someone else in his bed when he awoke, especially considering his room was locked, and sealed with magic against intruders.

“Hi there!” Came the cheery voice of the pink colored intruder.

“GAH!” Richard screamed before rolling out of the bed, taking the sheets with him as he fell to the floor in a tangled mess. “HOW?! HOW?!”

“I don’t know, I’m just Pinkie Pie!” Replied the pink pony. “You’re Richard right? It’s so nice to actually meet you, even if I just broke into your room. But who cares! Anyways, I know you’re new in town, and that you just came back from being trapped in the Tree of Harmony, but I think I should throw you a welcome party! You know like a welcome back party mixed with a welcome to Ponyville party, and then we could go from there. So, what’syourfavoritecoloryourfavoritecookiecakesodaicecreamchimicherrychongaicecreamIsaidicecreampie-”

“WHAT KIND OF SUGAR COATED HELL DID YOU SPAWN FROM, WOMAN?!” Richard yelled.

“I don’t know…” Pinkie said. “I remember this one ratchety old stallion who said-”

“GET OUT OF MY ROOM!” Richard yelled at Pinkie Pie.

“Oh… Right…” Pinkie said, finally realizing where she was. “I’ll just…wait for you downstairs....” And with that, she ran into the closet, and disappeared… to Richard’s amazement.

“... What a crazy pony.” Richard said in bewilderment. “Reminds me of Surprise from all those years back… I miss that crazy party girl.”

While Richard did miss his friend Surprise, her being the fun little party girl she was….

He did NOT enjoy the company of this one. He was standing now in the foyer in his boxers and undershirt, hoping to get some coffee before she bugged him again, but no, his trip to the kitchen had been interrupted by the pink menace.

“So, like I was asking…” Pinkie Pie started. “What’s your favorite-”

“Don’t ask me things right now.” Richard warned. “If you pester me after THAT kind of wake up, I will not hesitate to drop kick you out of the house. The only reason I’m not is because you remind me of my old friend. Got it?”

“Aw...but, party?” Oh no! No she wouldn’t-she did! The biggest Puppy-Dog-Pout Richard had ever seen… Well, since Surprise.

“... The hell do you want from me?!” Richard finally yelled after about five minutes of getting the puppy-dog look. “Just let me get some fucking coffee first!”

“Of course!” Pinkie said cheerfully. She then reached into her mane and pulled out a mug filled with coffee. The coffee was hot, if the steam coming off the cup was any indication.

“... I am NOT drinking that.” Richard said. “Just let me-” A coffee cup levitated out of one of the nearby rooms that was designated as the bottom floor kitchen.

“You’re welcome!” Came the somewhat angry voice of Twilight. “Now can you two stop fighting in there? You’re giving me a headache.”

“Not fighting, purple smart!”

“Don’t call me that!”

“No guarantees!” Richard said, taking a sip of coffee. “Now, what the hell did you want to know?”

… 30 minutes. Never felt so long before.

30 minutes of complete mind-fuckery of questions. Somehow, Pinkie got all of her questions out, auto-shotgun style, not letting Richard get even a syllable out before just saying the correct answer and moving onto the next question. Somehow, she knew he liked Red-Velvet cake, did not care for huge parties, apologized in advance for a large party, and still got about everything else that was to know about Richard in the small amount of time she took. Right after she finished, she dove into an empty bookshelf and exploded into confetti, dumbfounding Richard even more.

And that is where he had stood for the next ten minutes. The coffee he had been sipping was now on the floor, the cup long ago dropped when Pinkie had somehow exploded into bits of colorful paper and not impacted on the solid wood object. It wasn’t until a knock at the door was heard that he snapped out of his daze.

“Excuse me?” Came a muffled voice from behind the door. “Is Richard home? I heard he was living here and so was Twilight.”

Before Richard could move to answer the door, Rainbow, who he’d completely didn’t notice due to Pinkie taking up his attention, moved to the door and opened it. “Hey Rarity. What are you doing here?” She asked.

“I’m looking for Richard, is he here?” Rarity asked. “It’s kind of urgent. I need his help with crafting something.”

“And how the hell could I help with that?” Richard asked as he walked up to the door.

“Ah~! Oh-oh my! Richard! H-how can you be so scandalously clothed in the presence of mares?!” Rarity squealed as she blushed and covered her eyes, while Dash blinked before looking at Richard, and her wings stiffened a bit as her face flushed.

“Oh, uh...dude? I don’t know how things worked back when, but nowadays, somepony wearing underwear is kinda...insinuating something.” Richard blinked in a little surprise at both mare’s words, but then again, a thousand years is kind of more than long enough for social graces to change.

“Eh, fine. Do you have the clothes I left at your house? I came home in the obsidian.” Richard asked. “I kinda need to clean the obsidian clothes, too. Combat leaves a horrible stench.”

“Of course, darling!” Rarity said, reaching into her saddlebags with her telekinesis and pulling out Richard’s normal shirt, jeans, shoes, and duster before shoving the garments into Richard’s chest. “Now do go put those on, darling. It’s not right to be standing in front of an open door in your… eugh, undergarments.”

“Nice choice though, the bagginess leaves the imagination open.” Rainbow unhelpfully pointed out.

“Thanks.” Richard said as he walked out of the room and back to the staircase. He took about ten minutes to get fully dressed, then came back downstairs, where everyone had moved to the kitchen, leaving an annoyed Spike to clean up the coffee mess in the foyer, oddly enough, he even licked it up, humming a bit once he was done. He must be at that age where he tried almost anything with that ridiculously overpowered draconic digestive system of his. “Now, what did you want?”

“Well, darling. First off, I never finished your outfit, and I; Rarity, never leave a task unfinished.” Rarity reached into her saddlebags, and took out a full-head face mask of the shimmering black armor-like silk, but it had no eye holes. “I felt a full covering was best, considering this is for combat situations. Put it on.”

“Thanks.” Richard said, taking the mask and putting it and slipping it on. To his approval, he could see clear out thanks to the fabric either being permeable enough for his eyes to see through it, or the unicorn had enchanted it to do so, because he wasn’t seeing any fibers. “This is nice, thank you.” ‘I feel like Rorschach, just without the dying.’

“Don’t thank me yet.” Rarity beamed before she took out a pair of black obsidian-layered combat boots! Richard couldn’t tell what was under the obsidian, but he quickly accepted them and shucked off his slip-ons and put on the new boots.

“Sweet, new shoes.” Richard said happily. “Thanks again, Rarity.”

“Now then, if it would be no trouble, could you help me with acquiring the materials to make more?” Rarity asked politely. “It seems that seeing you run around in the attire inspired some kind of trend. Though, some ponies asked about it, rather than ordering it… You may have become a star and acquired a fan base.”

“Huh. Freaky.” Richard said. “Not sure if I wanna meet them…”

“Also, the town Guard have specifically asked me to make them sets of obsidian attire to compliment their own armor, and that’s not even mentioning the ponies of the Equestrian Army putting in orders….” Rarity wilted slightly, the pressure of the massive orders clearly weighing on her.

“Coolio.” Richard said simply. “But there are much better materials and armor types than obsidian.”

“Are they as light?” Rarity asked, getting Richard to raise a finger only to blink, and consider the fact that aside from the robe-like sets and the lunar sets, not really. “Are they as easy to craft?”

“Well, the beetle and turtle shell sets are.” Richard stated.

“Beetle?! What is wrong with you?!” Rarity screamed.

“What?! The materials aren’t really easy to get, but it’s good freaking armor!” Richard explained. “Plus, in the correct design, it gives a REALLY good bonus!”

“Still! Ew!” Rarity screamed. “Aside from foreign chitin jewelry, killing bugs for something like armor is not only gross, but time consuming. And turtles? Fluttershy would disown me as a friend before even letting me consider it.”

“Not to mention I’d buck you to death!” Rainbow shouted with fury, the nearby tortoise on the floor being a clue as to her anger.

“Geez, sorry. Well, there’s still the problem that I don’t know where to find obsidian and lack the tools to mine it if I somehow do.” Richard said. “I mean, seriously. Isn’t there a mine or something around here? How about asking a smithy, or, I don’t know, asking for help from a princess? Your friend?!”

“Actually, that’s a good point Richard.” Twilight interjected as she left the attached bathroom, whatever she was doing in there, it didn’t smell right...like a cleaning chemical cocktail, blech, she must’ve been cleaning. OCD much? “Girls, remember? The dragon migration?”

“Oh hey, yeah!” Rainbow perked up as she tossed a treat to the tortoise, which proceeded to slowly nibble. “It wasn’t that far...if you consider a few day’s travel by foot as not being far, but with these things!” Rainbow hovered behind Richard, and he gasped as she flared his wings out for him, the sunlight-like wings behaving as organically as possible. “We could totally get there and back in a day.”

“Hey! Let go of those! They’re sensitive as hell!” Richard protested. “And second off, I don’t know how to freaking fly! So there goes your plan, genius!”

“Rainbow! That was such a mean thing to do! You just wanted to touch his wings!” Twilight accused, getting the prismatic pegasus to sputter at realizing what she did, and groan as she face-hoofed. “Regardless, actually Richard, since I’ve been there before, I can just teleport us there, I just need a minute to prepare a stabilization array, since I’ve never teleported a human before, I have no idea what you’d come out the other end as. Unicorns have accidentally turned griffons and other races into pony hybrids or even full ponies when they weren’t careful enough to avoid blending molecules.” Twilight then blinked, and hummed as she tapped her chin. “I wonder...what if I teleported something with...hm….”

“Yeah, no thanks.” Richard said. “I’d rather not be turned inside out, thank you very much. If you could just get me Celestia-”

“Hm? Oh no, that isn’t the issue. Teleportation is beyond safe, it’s just...well, ponies usually only teleport other ponies, or physical objects that don’t-”

“Just get me Celestia.” Richard said. “I’d rather not hitch a ride on that experimental spell.”

“Well...fine...I’ll send Celestia a letter...but I’ll need some hair or nail clippings to help me devise a safe version that won’t turn you into a pony, unless either of the Princesses already know one.” Twilight then trotted out of the kitchen and back into the library.

“Trust me, they do!” Richard called to her. “Now, back to the subject that I DON’T KNOW HOW TO FLY WITH MY OWN WINGS!”

“Well, I can help teach ya, but, one key thing to know about flying. Is you’re going to crash. A lot.” Rainbow said seriously.

“Yeah, I don’t think I’m going to take lessons from you, Ms. Positive Thinking.” Richard deadpanned. “Maybe I could get that shy pony to teach me. Or maybe even Celestia! Yeah! That’d be nice.”

“I… But I’m a great teacher!” Rainbow protested, the tortoise nodded in reinforcement of her claim.

A fwoosh of fire was heard in the library and Twilight reentered. “Okay, I’ve sent Celestia the letter Richard. I also overheard and added on that you’d like her to teach-.”

A blur of white fur and feathers interrupted Twilight as she burst into the room with speed that signalled that she had just divebombed through the air and smashed through the skylight at the top of the wooden tower that had been stylized to look like Celestia’s cutie mark, only to have pulled up at the last second and sped into the room. The blur crashed into Richard, knocking him out of his chair and pinning him to the ground. “DICKIE~! I would love to teach you!”

“Hi Celly.” Richard groaned. “Ow. Did you have to burst in like that? I think you might have broken something.”

“THERE’S GLASS EVERYWHERE!” Came Spike’s cry from the other room. “Glass tastes like water! I’m not thirsty!”

“UGH! I’ll go clean that up.” Twilight moaned. “Spike! That’s not for eating!”

“Anyways, I’d love to teach you how to fly!” Celestia cheerfully exclaimed.

“OH COME ON!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed before finally accepting defeat and floating down to the ground.

“But… Oi. I guess I have to learn sometime.” Richard said defeatedly. “I was just going to ask you for my rod back. I guess learning how to fly works too.”

“Your what?!” Rainbow Dash and Rarity screamed simultaneously, both seeming rather scandalized for some reason as Celestia held back a small giggle.

“My teleporting rod. The… Rod of Discord.” Richard explained. “It was one of the tools I got while I was fighting elementals a long time ago. Why? What did you think I was talking about?” The pegasus and unicorn did not say anything. “Lewd~!”

“Well sorry dear if such spells to safely and painlessly remove anatomy exist!” Rarity huffed, looking flustered as she turned to leave. “Just please help me and I’ll pay you for your trouble. I must see to making what I can with what I have at the moment.”

“I’m, uh...just going to go...yeah….” Rainbow awkwardly excused herself as she grabbed the compliant tortoise and flew out of the kitchen, leaving Richard and Celestia alone.

“... You let that spell go public?” Richard asked. “I thought you jailed those two ponies!”

“Yes, I did. But the spell seemed harmless and the ponies were having fun with it!” Celestia explained. “You should have heard the noises coming from Princess Cadence’s room after she got married! I could hear her and Shining Armor’s moans and screams from across the castle.”

“Yeah, didn’t need to know that.” Richard said. “So, about that lesson.”

“We begin at once!” Celestia shouted before grabbing Richard and teleporting them both up high above Ponyville. “First lesson: Gliding! Just open your wings and float down!” Celestia let go of Richard.

“WHY?!” Richard screamed as he fell.

Author's Notes:

So, here we go! Still running out of witty things to say!
Anyways, this is Music Mod, signing off.

Edit: Cancelled the contest I had. Sorry to everyone.