[Hyperion Hall of Heroism]

Luna and Jack appeared in a flash of blue light next to the New-U Fast Travel station that was at the end of a hall lined with vending machines on one side and a window viewing Elpis and Pandora to the other side. However, they were alone. “Um...Luna, is this where they were supposed to end up?”

“Yes. This is the Helios Immigration Station. It is where new employees and residents art to enter into Helios from what John has told us.” Luna looked about worriedly as she held a hand to the side of her head. “John? Hello? He’s not answering.” At her words, Jack used is subtle magic to open his Echo’s HUD and try to call John, then Wilhelm and Fragtrap.

“Wilhelm isn’t answering either.” Jack then looked down at Elpis as he tried to call Angel. “Angel, we’ve lost contact with John, Wilhelm and Fragtrap.”

“Uncle Jack! I was about to call you. Dad, Wilhelm and Fragtrap have ended up on separate parts of Helios. It seems the Lost Legion have scrambled the Fast Travel signal to ping off several stations at alternating frequencies. It’s annoying, but without being hooked up to Helios directly, I can’t do anything about it.” Angel audibly pouted along with her Echo card. “Oh wait! I can get the signal out to Dad and Fragtrap, but I can’t seem to get ahold of Wilhelm. Seems he’s on the other side of the jamming signal. Hopefully he can shut it off before something else happens.”

At his niece saying something so tempting for fate, Jack groaned and rubbed his temples. “Angel, as your uncle, I need to stress the fact that you have poked Murphy so hard in the jimmies right now, he’s likely to-.”

“John! What is happening at Helios now?!” Tassiter suddenly exclaimed as Jack and Luna were reconnected to John at least.

“I don’t know yet, sir, I just got back here.” John said over gunshots. “There’s a lot of Dahl Soldiers up here, and they’re likely to have a jamming-”

“I’ve gotten word that Princess Celestia was on her way up via Fast Travel to see what was going on! Are you telling me the reason she’s not responding to my calls is because of some form of jamming signal?!” Tassiter demanded heatedly.

“Y-yes, sir…” John weakly answered.

Tassiter grumbled on his end of the line. “John, find a way to fix this immediately, or so help me, your ass will be fired last year!” Tassiter then abruptly hung up, ending the call.

John took a deep cleansing breath before letting out a tired sigh, audible even over the gunfire. “Son of a bitch. Angel, can you get communications-”

“Dad… We just heard the tail end of that.” Angel said sheepishly. “... Sorry.”

“It’s okay pumpkin. Who else is on the line?” John asked as they overheard Fragtrap cackling and people screaming on his end.

“Luna and I bro. No clue if Wilhelm is.” Jack answered as he and Luna walked down the hall, leaning around the corner at the eerily empty immigration area, suitcases abandoned, lockers overturned or popped open. “We’re at the immigration station.”

“Good, that’s where we were all supposed to be. My office isn’t far from there, it’s a straight shot across the central terminal. Get there, and hunker down. It was bad enough Luna came along, but now her sister is somewhere up here too, at least one of you should be in a secure location.” John stated, getting a huff out of Luna.

“We are far from a delicate flower John. Just because We’re pregnant does not mean We are any less capable.” Luna declared fiercely, making John sigh.

“That’s what I’m afraid of. Keep her safe little bro.” John then hung up and Jack sighed.

“Luna, please don’t make this too difficult on me. I may be awesome, but I’m just a stallion.” Jack stated as they walked through the untended turnstiles, scanning the area for any Lost Legion soldiers.

“We are well aware, which is why on top of this incredible shield, We will have our own magic shield layered over it.” Luna informed him, shimmering her magic so the nearly invisible barrier over her body flickered. “Do not consider us a hindrance in combat, We are well defended.”

“Look...Luna.” Jack paused, turning to face her fully. “I’m...not exactly used to relationships beyond a one-night stand or a friendly fuck-buddy. I’m not really sure what I feel, but it would mean so much to me if you wouldn’t make me so worried about you just by being here.” Jack’s admission clearly caught Luna off-guard as she raised her eyebrows and blinked.

“Really? Well, too bad, but We’re not about to leave all the work to our stallion.” Luna insisted, leaning into him and wrapping her arms around him, easily pressing his snout into her cleavage considering she was a foot taller than him, and even squeezed his butt as he blushed scarlet up to his ears. “If anything, We would prefer to keep thee in the bedroom, not have thee putting thyself in danger.”

“...That’s so sexist and I can’t deny appreciating the thought.” Jack admitted with his voice muffled by her bountiful head-sized bosoms. “But this isn’t the time or place-.” Jack yanked Luna to the floor, causing her to yelp as gunfire erupted and bullets flew over them while he rolled them along the floor and behind the computer desks that clearly served to finish processing new arrivals. “Shoot first, flirting later!”

“But tis so much fun!” Luna declared as she leaned out, firing her cryo arm laser as Jack did the same, her other hand still on his butt even as they fired back.

“Can you please not?” Jack whined as he beheaded soldiers with single shots from the Razorback, the lack of a scope and excellent iron sights actually helping him use his innate accuracy.

“Oh come now! Thou cannot honestly tell Us that thou art not having fun~.” She said as she shot a soldier in the crotch, making him double over in pain before Jack capped him.

“Business and pleasure shouldn’t mix too much.” Jack grinned as he spotted a sergeant about to radio reinforcements and beheaded him with a single bullet as well. “But then again, I do take a bit of pleasure from this line of work.” Jack killed the last Legion soldier, and he sighed as each of their bodies digistructed down for respawn. “Damn, I guess it was too much to ask that they not be keyed into the local systems.”

“Then it is best we move quickly.” Luna took to the air, flying overhead as Jack sprinted towards the central terminal. “Not ideal, there is not much cover in the terminal, and the closer to John’s office the more visible thou becomes.” Luna called down to Jack, using Echo so she didn’t have to shout and possibly alert nearby enemies as they got to the elevator to John’s office.

“Son of a-, John! The door’s locked!” Jack reported, turning around and joining Luna in scanning for enemies.

“Shiiit. And they’ve probably changed the password.” John responded over gunshots on his end, it seems he and Fragtrap never got out of combat since arriving. “Plan B, keep going, try and get to the eye. It’s not ideal, but there should be a safe space on the way over there.”

“But John, the residential section hasn’t even begun construction, and the access tunnels are in pieces.” Luna commented as she hovered down to land next to Jack so she wasn’t such a visible target.

“I know, but there are holdouts over there meant to keep the workers safe if we get hit by meteors or something similar.” John insisted, causing the two lovers to look at each other with doubt.

“Okay, we’ll try to see about heading towards the Eye then. Stay safe bro.” Jack hung up and proceeded to lead Luna towards the Hall of Wonders past the Harren Lockup since it meant staying more concealed by cover. “Okay Luna, stay low and-oh come on.” Jack hissed, his sudden stop causing Luna to walk into him, her breasts pressing into his neck as she stopped too. “There’s a bunch of them this way.”

“They’re sure to know we’re here Jack. Might as well blast through.” Luna declared softly, raising her lasers up as Jack took aim. “Ready to fire on thine signal.”

“When I take the sergeant out, you aim for the other two. The noise will likely draw more of them, be ready.” Jack took a steadying breath, aimed, and shot a bullet straight through the red beret and the skull under it, Luna freezing the other two more fully-armored soldiers with crotch shots followed by the freezing rays flash-freezing their faces. “Why always the crotch?” Jack asked with utmost curiosity.

“Because, they art swine who should not reproduce.” Luna playfully declared as she remained pressed into Jack’s back.

“But they have New-U.” Jack snorted at her obviously false reason as he moved away from Luna’s touch.

“All the better! They suffer the memory then.” Luna cheekily replied, moments before a door on their right opened and out stepped a huge Legion marine in uniquely colored yellow-green armor with a red suit underneath, unlike the usual green on green.

“Luna! Surrender!” The soldier demanded as he held up a large grenade in his off hand, a massive drum-fed heavy machine gun in his right hand. He dodged to the side and Jack’s bullet missed, someone inside the room the soldier had left squealing in an ear-piercing scream before the door closed. “Corporal Bob reporting! Princess Luna is in the Hub!”

“Damn it!” Jack cursed, swapping out Razorback for the Black Snake, spraying the corrosive paired bullets at the soldier, who dropped the grenade that turned into a wormhole generator, yanking him and Luna towards it while Bob rained bullets on them. “Shi~t!” Jack cursed, firing at the spatial distortion that while not lethal, was still very dangerous as Luna fired at Bob.

“Thou art going to pay!” Luna imperiously declared as her magic shield ate up Bob’s bullets, returning fire with her cryo lasers and tagging him on the leg, causing him to yelp and roll behind cover.

“Requesting reinforcements!” Bob called out as he tossed a grenade from behind cover at them. Jack had finished filling the wormhole generator with acidic bullets and he jumped away, Luna taking flight but diving back down when oncoming reinforcements forced her to get back to ground.

“We’re sitting ducks! In here!” Jack ran for the door Corporal Bob had come out of, Luna following as he closed the door and locked it with a standard Hyperion access code. “That won’t hold long-.”

“JOHN! I KNEW YOU’D COME!” Jack and Luna cringed at the horrifically cracking male voice, and turned to see a rail-thin pasty yellow stallion with no mane pressing his face into the glass of one of the holding cells of what was meant to be a local jail. “It’s me, Nakayama!” The sickly stallion gasped. “You even brought Princess Luna! I knew you cared!”

“Uh...first, I’m not John, I’m his little brother Jack. Second; who the hell are you?” Jack asked the bleeding crazy, who was about to respond when the door burst open and a grenade flew between Jack and Luna, who rolled to the side when the door opened, and heard the stallion squeal in terror before being eviscerated into giblets by the explosion. “...Woops.”

“Hey, I just got a notification that someone in my department just died. How’d that happen?” John asked over Echo.

“The one known as, Nakayama, We believe he said? Yes, Nakayama has just died.” Luna commented awkwardly as she locked the way into the room with a magic barrier since the mechanical lock betrayed them so easily. “Luckily, his death has given us some respite.”

“Oh, that stalker. He didn’t even have a budget New-U account, spending all his money on, eugh, custom items with my likeness.” John said, his Echo card rolling its eyes. “I heard from someone else in his department that he planned to try and clone me. Now I don’t have to fire him and possibly jail him, so all’s well that ends well, I guess.”

“He probably had-”

“A family? Nah, they disowned him and died a while ago, like, before he started working here.” John exposited. “Listen, I have to get back to not dying now, so if you could just finish up over there, that’d be great.”

“Easy for you to say, we’re barricaded in the Harren Lockup with a huge number of Legion soldiers pounding on the door.” Jack reported as he walked up the steps, looking at an oddly tiny blue loader bot randomly walking around in a special containment cell. Whatever, wasn’t his business.

“Shit. Can you get past them?” John asked insistently, even as Fragtrap cackled, and explosions and screaming sounded out. Just what kind of monster was John paying witness to? Jack wasn’t sure, but Fragtrap was nowhere near this scary in person.

“There is an army of dogs blocking us, and it there is a red barrier also blocking us from what We see of the access tunnel from here.” Luna said as she looked at the monitors.

“Son of a taint. Alright, fuck it. Plan C. Get-ON YOUR LEFT, CLAPPY!-Get to my office in customer service!”

“MY NAME! IS! FRAGTRAP! AH~HAHAHA-!” Fragtrap shouted before they both got cut off.

“Darn it. The jammer cut them off again.” Angel cursed. “... Who am I stuck with again… Oh- Why is it that I can contact you two and not Da- Oh hey! I can get Wilhelm! Patching over now.”

“Hey, where the hell are you man?” Jack asked as he heard the line connect.

They heard a mare groan in pain before Wilhelm spoke. “Oh shit, hey guys.”

“Is that…Sister?” Luna asked, vaguely recognizing the mare’s voice.

“Yeah, I believe I have Celestia here with me. She got grazed and teleported us here when the New-U failed to fast travel us.” Wilhelm explained as he did something on the other end. “Oh hold still, you didn’t even get bruised. Your shirt just got cut from the bullet.”

“Where is ‘here’?” Jack asked as he went to the small office at the end of the second floor of the lockup, testing the doors and not getting a response, making him sigh.

“Someone’s office. She said it would be safe and so far it has been. We’ve got turrets set up, and the door in is locked. Sadly can’t tell what’s behind it ‘cause I can’t get it open.” Wilhelm explained further. “Not that I couldn’t open it. It’s just that it’s a heavy door and I’d rather not break a lock that might be keeping us safe.”

“Understandable. Hopefully We may be able to assist later.” Luna said, smiling a bit from hearing that her bitch sister was safe.

“Alright, catch up with you later.” Wilhelm hung up as Celestia’s whining picked up.

“Is your sister always that tender?” Jack asked in reference to a lack of pain tolerance.

“No, sister tends to be even more mercurial than us. It has been a long time since she has seen combat however, perhaps her fattening rear isn’t the only thing being stuck in an office has done to her.” Luna smirked as she poked her firm flank. “We haven’t fallen for laziness unlike her.”

“Good to know you think your sister is fat.” Jack chuckled as he hacked the keypad to the door, opening it to reveal it led to a small hallway that likely connected the offices for the lockup.

“Yes, well, do not let her know that. If she hears it from you sister will believe that We art a coward who dareth not speak to her about it.” Luna says as she starts formulating an ‘escape’ plan while having to duck slightly, the small utility hallway low enough her horn could hit the ceiling.

“Noted.” Jack opened another door, this one leading to a small storage room. He went to the door on the left, hacked it, and ducked behind the corner when it opened to reveal the central terminal, which was now crawling with soldiers. “Okay, we’re going to run, gun, duck into the customer service shop, activate a Claptrap, get it to open the office, and meet up with Wilhelm and Celestia.”

“All somehow without dying. Let’s do this.” Luna took a bracing breath along with Jack, and they both dashed out, immediately ducking as bullets flew at them, returning fire as they jumped up a ledge, and ran into the customer service shop, which had a nursemaid Loader tidying up.

“YOU’RE GOING TO DO WHAT?!” Fragtrap’s voice yelled over the Echo.

“Uh… I got them back?” Angel belatedly informed them.

“We have no choice, I’m not that skilled to do something like that under fire, and the Claptraps here should have standard universal Steward Access to everything.” Jack reasoned, punching the big red button on the service box, and out popped a blue Claptrap.

“Hellooooo~-!”

“OH GOD! I CAN HEAR HIM ON THIS END OF THE ECHO AND HE IS GRATING!” Fragtrap yelled. “IS THAT WHAT I USED TO SOUND LIKE?!”

“Yes, now shut up you, I need a door opened!” Jack demanded of the blue box of a robot as he fired his Black Snake out the door and around the corner, Luna magically putting up a barrier over most of said door as soldiers closed in.

“Oh~Kay!” Agreed the blue doormat robot who rolled out of the shop, Luna keeping the barrier between it and the gunfire

“They’re over here!” Yelled a Legion soldier who had been calling for reinforcements.

“OH GOD, THEY HAVE GUNS!” The Claptrap yelled before folding itself up.

“We will shield you so long as you open the door, now open it!” Luna said before literally kicking the robot into action.

“On it scary lady!” Claptrap agreed, moving to the console next to the door they’d left open leading to the lockup. “Hacking the console!”

“Wrong door you piece of shit! It’s already open too!” Jack screamed as he threw a longbow mirv, forcing a group to scatter, but killing several soldiers regardless. “We need John’s office!”

“Oh… Right. Moving to the console!” He said as he started moving to the console further down the wall towards Jack’s office, but still not the one directly on it. “Hacking the console!” He said as he started doing just that. “The barrier should have two layers of security!”

“Damnation! Why must Hyperion be so complicated about everything?!” Luna demanded as she froze the feet of a few soldiers, giving Jack time to reload and finish them off.

“Obviously your country isn’t run like a corporation Luna.” Jack commented, switching to the revolver he found on the Drakensberg, and firing a beam of lightning that pierced right through a soldier’s shield and electrocuted them.

“Is he still hacking?! What kind of garbage OS is that thing running? Version .01?!” Fragtrap yelled amidst the gunfire on both of their ends.

“Access Denied~!” Cheerfully intoned the Hyperion Automated Attendant.

“Meow. It’s my birthday.” Came a bland

“Damn it! Usually the Birthday Cat workaround does it! Well, at least it scrambled this layer of security! On to the next one!” Claptrap declared as he moved across the path to the console to John’s office.

“KEEP GOING!” Jack yelled as he fought off Legionnaires, Including finally decapitating Bob with a shot from his Razorback.

“He even has to use multiple consoles for one door?! Disgusting!” Fragtrap commented.

“Access Denied~!” Intoned the HAA again.

“Damn, dirty Truxicans! Get off my lawn!” Shouted a hotdog with a bushy mustache, ten gallon hat, and a southern country accent.

“There! The Racist Hot Dog subroutine may have failed, but now all that’s left is the manual override! Pretty lady voice! How do I do that?” Claptrap requested, much to Jack and Luna’s irritation.

“Manual bypass is achieved by interfacing directly with the system.” Helpfully replied the HAA.

“Ah-heh. Heh. You’re such a kidder! Interfacing is dangerous!” Claptrap nervously stated.

“Oh my god, you are a disgrace to the family name! Just open the damn door!” Fragtrap yelled.

“Do it or We shall rip thee apart and force open the door instead!” Luna snarled at the robot, which cowered before going to the system access that was opposite the door, plugging a cable into it from his chassis.

“Okay, here goes! Ow! OW! *sounds of electrocution*” Claptrap then shuddered and fell back, going limp as he died from interfacing, the door opening at last. With that, Jack and Luna dove into the elevator, the door closing just as several grenades landed at where their hooves had been.

[John’s Office]

Luna and Jack sighed in relief as they stepped off the elevator, walking a short bit into the well air-conditioned hallway to reveal dozens of red Claptraps in cubicles working at computers and a Fast Travel station. “Okay, we’re in John’s office.” Jack reported as he and Luna walked down the hall towards the giant heavy doors at the very end of the way-too-long hallway.

“Perfect. Now that you’re there, can you try contacting Wilhelm? I can’t seem to get him on the line for some reason.” Angel asked in annoyance.

“If you can’t, then why would I be able to? If it’s John’s actual office interfering somehow, then it’s unlikely I’d be able to get through to him with this huge ass door sealed tighter than a virgin’s chastity belt.” Jack asked as he and Luna neared the doors, a cleaning robot bumping into Luna’s hooves on the way.

“Please don’t make a comment like that again, you sounded way too much like Moxxi for a second Uncle Jack.” Angel grumbled. “That said, could you at least try? It’s unlike the Echonet to lose connection.”

“Hey, can you guys turn on the fast travel station so we can get in. We found the jammer on this end and shut it down, so can you turn the station? Should be before the hall that leads to my office.” John requested of them, so Jack and Luna backtracked down the hall.

“Already done.” Luna reported, pressing buttons on the holographic display.

“Hold it, it’s back on the list, coming in.” John warned them, so they stood back and watched John and Fragtrap digistruct on this end. “Okay, let’s get organized, find out where Wilhelm and Celestia are, go collect them, and figure out how we’re going to get to the Eye of Helios.”

“Sounds like the start of a good plan.” Jack responded as they walked down the hall, John holding up a remote he took from his Echo, pressing a button. The door then made a loud clicking noise, before pulling open and revealing the massive office, easily five times the size of the cubicle area at the other end of the hall. “Geez bro, overcompensating for something?”

“Yeah, yeah. Get it out of your sys...tem.”

The group looked on in horror as they saw the naked upper half of Celestia peak out over the desk as she looked down to someone else. The elder sister was like a white-coated version of the moon princess, just as beautiful and busty, if not even more so. “Ready for round two, stuuuuu-”

“Sister! Who is assaulting thine privates?!” Luna asked, a massive blush on her face as she freaked the fuck out.

… And then Wilhelm sat up.

Author's Notes:

Home Renovations make GJ a tired boy, have a chappy though.