[Titan Robot Production Plant]

“I wish you guys were here much sooner. I’d already have finished my Constructor bot a week ago. Then again, I’d probably be trapped up on Helios, so I guess this is the better outcome.” Gladstone declared as he walked over to a console and started working away at it. “Hm, it seems the scavs were polite enough to turn the power back on.”

“Uh… Someone mind explaining what a Helios is?” The ‘Wiggler Knight’ asked, confused as he shot a robot in the eye, then proceeded to slice another in half as they rose up from hatches in the floor. “Is it some giant monster? I mean, I think I heard some kind of laser beam earlier… Though that might have been what I’m looking for.”

“I doubt that. If it was, we’d try and take it from you so we could use it against Helios.” Jack said, his sentence punctuated by the sound of more giant laser fire.

“You wouldn’t want it around, trust me.” The knight said, slashing through more enemies.

“Oh! While you’re doing that, mind harvesting those robot’s eyes? I need them to assemble a proper ocular system. Just gather five and feed them to my eye assembler matrix.”

“Pfft, an ‘eye assembler matrix’? That’s a thing?” John asked incredulously, his Echo card showing he was all cleaned up by now.

Wilhelm pops out one of his own eyes. “... Or we could scan my eye real quick and just base it off that.”

“Yes, and no. I’ve already got the form ready, any changes will take all day. Just do what I have prepared and it’ll be ready.” Gladstone insisted as he highlighted the ‘eye assembler matrix’ on their HUDs.

“Just listen to the guy. I know from experience that a proper ocular system is a bitch to get just right for a custom robot, or a cyborg for instance.” Jack supported, stabbing a security bot in the chassis with the Razorback, before firing a high-caliber sniper round into it for more damage. “Got an eye!”

“Eh. Fine.” Wilhelm said as he popped the eye back into its socket. He caught another eye that the ‘Wiggler Knight’ carved out.

“Same!” Fragtrap declared, and soon the team had the requested eyes. “I’ll take them to that toaster-looking thing.” Fragtrap declared, and after a minute, he returned with the eye, looking like an enlarged hybrid between a Loader and Claptrap eye. “I have the eye! It’s dead inside, like your mom!” Fragtrap declared cheerfully.

“Great! I’m lowering the chassis for assembly.” Gladstone declared, and from the ceiling lowered a rusty red/yellow angular thing that was bulky and unappealing.

“...What is that? It looks like a sad dumpster had a child with a junkyard truck.” John declared with disappointment.

Wilhelm immediately doubled over in laughter. “Oh god, I just had a funny idea. It’s a fucking Pickup Truck with a Digistruct strapped onto the back!”

“That’s...going to be me soon? I don’t think I want that….” Felicity voiced with clear hesitation as Fragtrap plugged the new eye into the boxy robot’s slightly pointed front.

“Well, you’re the AI. Now, let’s get some legs on this thing.” Gladstone declared, started to lift the chassis up off the floor with the facility’s built-in ceiling crane.

“What? But it already has legs, even if they’re short.” Jack commented as the crane moved along its track on the ceiling. “It also has a powerful repulsor-.”

“Who designed it?” Gladstone grumped.

“Clearly someone with redundancy-”

“Alright, let’s go get those legs. Where are they?” The ‘Wiggler Knight’ said, this time dragging the other two along as Fragtrap rolled along behind them.

“Somewhere between pointless and useless, like all legs! You’d be better off with wheels!” Fragtrap declared proudly.

“I have a pair of legs from an unfinished Dahl power suit prototype I want to use since we’re crunched for time. It’s in the Locomotion Assembly wing to the east.”

“Sounds like you’re trying to make it a proper combat unit, instead of just a mobile reinforcement platform.” Wilhelm commented as he was dragged along by the surprisingly strong Wiggler.

“Well, yes. It’s also meant to be a construction robot. It can’t exactly move around construction sites with those stubby legs, or safely avoid displacing loose dirt with the repulsor jet.” Gladstone stated with exasperation. “This design has been such a mess from the start, I’ll have to refine it after we get this prototype running.”

“I think I can help with that. I can wirelessly download into the suit and walk it here since there’s nothing in the way this far in.” Felicity informed them. “Is this what being organic is like? I mean, in having a physical body. All limbs and things. It feels cramped. I don’t think I like it.”

“Yeah, well it’s old and out of date, and you did just spend a good amount of time plugged into my head.” Wilhelm commented and crossed his arms.

“You’re another story Wilhelm. You’re much more advanced than this walking pile of scrap.” Felicity defended as she walked the massive mech suit into the central assembly hanger, positioning it under the Constructor chassis.

“True. True. It’s probably like being in a Clap- Actually, let me think that over again. Fragtrap’s head was pretty big… That said, I doubt that’s the same for all of his original line.” The android comments.

“Yeah, no. I picked Fragtrap because as the prototype, he had a lot of redundancies and other things the mass-production model don’t have. That said, even he suffered from the OS being inflexible to the point he nearly self-destructed.” John added onto the conversation as Felicity forcibly ejected the upper chassis of the mech suit from the legs, allowing Gladstone to lower the Constructor onto the bulky and powerful digitigrade biped legs, only to get Jack to start arguing with him about the mechanical dissonance as the machine secured itself.

“I hope you realize he fixed his shit, John. He’s not an idiot anymore.” Wilhelm argued to John as Fragtrap came up and added a ‘yeah’.

“Yeah, I doubt that.” John said dismissively. “Last I checked the AI was so buggy that it was barely even functional.”

“IT DOESN’T NEED THESE LEGS!” Jack argued with Gladstone in the background, thus tying up the last of the group as the five of them all argued amongst each other. As they all argued, the ‘Wiggler Knight’ heard something. Wilhelm and Fragtrap are the only other two to pick up on it, but dismiss it as Echo Static… But the knight recognizes it and dashes off without saying a word.

“Alright, alright! Everyone stop it. John, fuck off for a bit, we have to finish up with this robot, and you two, deal with it. It has chicken legs now and some actual mobility. Now let’s get this shit on the road.” Wilhelm shouted at everyone.

“Ugh… Wilhelm’s right. We need to get this shit done so we can save the moon.” John acquiesced before hanging up.

“Alright… Um… We need to get the turrets calibrated. I’d say use them on some scavs, but you seem to have gotten them all to leave.” Gladstone stated, a bit annoyed he couldn’t get his ‘revenge’ on the scavs.

“I got this. Where are they?” Jack asked eagerly, rubbing his hands together.

Gladstone scoffed and rolled his eyes from his place at the console to the hangar. “Oh please. You couldn’t possibly-”

“He’s a certified Arcano-Tech engineer. He used to be my engineer before I went full android.” Wilhelm stated, crossing his arms yet again.

“Oh? Where did you graduate?” Gladstone asked in curiosity and interest as Jack got to the console next to him, the scientist watching his hands as he worked, looking impressed for once.

“At-”

“Are you going to keep questioning him, or are you gonna let him do his job so we can save the fucking moon?!” Wilhelm, Fragtrap, and John all simultaneously shouted at once, making them all recoil slightly.

“Right. It’s in the lab on your right. Let me just have them brought in here and attached. Then you can use this console to calibrate them.” Gladstone stated while pressing away at the console as well. Machine sounds filled the air as a pair of twin Dahl auto-turrets attached to small wing-like mounts descended from the ceiling on rails that lowered and affixed them to sides of the main chassis before detaching and leaving.

Jack immediately set to work on the nearby console, quickly accessing the turret functions and firing off a few practice rounds at lights in the room, and then even asked Fragtrap to run around to test their tracking. Once they were calibrated, Jack got off of the console and smiled. “Alright, all that should be left is to stick Felicity into it, right?” Jack asked as the finished Constructor bot began moving on the rail towards the embarkation zone.

“Well… Yes. We just need her AI stuck in there and it should be good to go.” Gladstone declared as he looked up at his Frankenstein’s Monster of a robot with perhaps too much pride as the rail in the transit zone spun into place to allow it to continue onward.

“W-wait, I’ve thought this through. I don’t want to be shoved into that… thing. I like being like this!” Felicity protested, having a change of heart as they entered the Unit Embarkation chamber.

“I’m sorry miss, but we have to do this.” John said over echo, reluctant towards this course of action. “Gladstone, shove her in and dump the-”

“HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE!” Wilhelm shouted, quite angry at the two people who believed they were smart. “Can’t we just have Angel make a quick copy, dump the personality before it becomes active, and then shove it into the fucking murder bot so we don’t kill an innocent woman?!”

“...Huh...why didn’t I think of that?” John asked in bemusement.

“Right...she’s a Siren, and one with even more doctorates than I can imagine one person having.” Gladstone mused. “She could easily take only what we need from Felicity, clone it, then patch it with barely any time spent.”

Wilhelm facepalmed. “You two are morons. Jack, tell me you didn’t-”

“Actually, I had sort of gotten caught up in all of this…” Jack said shyly. “I figured she could just stand in for a bit and then have a more dumbed-down AI put in later.”

“You guys are idiots.” Fragtrap deadpanned.

“THANK YOU!” Wilhelm shouted, agreeing with the other AI in the room.

“Thank you, Wilhelm.” Felicity said quietly to the Android, quite happy he had come to her rescue again.

John sighed in annoyance. “Alright. Angel, please get on that. We don’t have much ti-”

Angel cut him off. “Done.” She even sounded smug about it.

“Oh, then let’s shove it in, already!” John insisted as they felt another rumble. Helios seems to be firing even faster.

“Beginning download now.” Gladstone said as he moved to the master console of the embarcation chamber, just as the machine had stopped and entered the download bay recessed into the floor. “Aaaand done. Let’s do a small test…”

The constructor prototype raised back up to ground level and began the boot up sequence. A few seconds later the robot sprung to life, and the turrets immediately dropped as the machine said in a deep, robotic voice, “EXTERMINATE!”

“HAPPY DICK, TURN IT OFF!” Wilhelm shouted as he pulled out the Thingy. Luckily, he wouldn’t have to use it as Gladstone hit a kill switch in the programming and lowered it back into the download bay.

“Well darn. That should have worked. I put everything in properly and calibrated it…what went wrong?” Gladstone asked himself.

“Oh! That went a lot like one of my first boot-up sequences after the VaultHunter.exe was installed! Maybe you need to kick it!” Fragtrap suggested.

“Or maybe we need you to give it a patch, little guy.” Jack commented.

“Yeah, that’s what I said!” Fragtrap said with a laugh.

“Are you sure about that? I mean, Fragtrap should still be all kinds of messed up even if half of what Angel filled me in on his update is true.” John nervously questioned as the building shook again. Is Helios aiming for them now? That wouldn’t help them destroy the moon though.

“Let the little guy try, man. He’s come a long way from what you last knew.” Jack said, giving the upgraded Claptrap a pat on his casing. “Go on, little guy. Take a whack at it.”

“Oh~Kay!” Fragtrap said with a salute as he helped himself on over to Gladstone’s console, then shoved the stallion out of the way. He plugged himself into the console using a cable leading from his modular ‘disk’ trey. “Hey! I’m not short circuiting! Yay!” A couple minutes, and yet ANOTHER bout of building shaking later, Fragtrap finished. “Aaaaand...UPDATE~!” Fragtrap then hit the on switch for the robot.

The robot was lifted out of the download bay and almost immediately sprung to life, not taking extra seconds this time. The turrets popped down and spun around a bit. “Systems online. Weapons hot. Mission: Save the fucking moon, baby!” The last bit of it’s speech came out as a recording of John’s voice. “Constructor Prototype Version 1.0 is online. Awaiting commands.”

“Hell yes! Good work everyone! Let’s-!” John was cut off, something scrambled the Echo communications as the room shook again, this time much more violently than it had before.

Then the southern wall suddenly exploded, a laser following the explosion, giving them only seconds to dodge as it took out the Constructor’s chicken legs. From the breach came a massive blue dragon that looked like it was made of pure crystal which emenated a massive amount of pure energy from it. Title Card: Xeno’Jiiva! WTF?!

“What the hell?!” Wilhelm shouted as he drew the SUPER NORFLEET.

“NO! WAIT!” Came the shout of the Wiggler Knight, now in green armor made of what looked like strong reptilian leather and some kind of feathers. His Wiggler helmet had gone back to being normal, but now he also had some sort of polearm, and his right wrist was glowing for some reason. “Careful! I need to take that thing back home! If it died here, I don’t know what it would do to your ecosystem! That said, we can’t let it escape either!”

“THE HELL DO YOU FIND THESE THINGS?!” Jack screamed at the man as Gladstone scurried off to a corner to hide, the Constructor ejecting it’s useless, destroyed legs and hovering over towards the same corner with it’s repulsor jet. “I thought this Displaced nonsense would just be random peeps-shit!” Jack cursed as the dragon charged into the chamber, smashing through the guide rails for the download elevator and roaring as they scattered.

“THE HELL EVEN IS THAT THING?!” Wilhelm shouted as he quickly whipped out his Striker instead and began unloading buckshot into the monster.

“That’s an elder dragon from my world. I’m sorry, but I was chasing it here after some moron back home decided to try banishing it to another world by opening a portal!” Wiggler said as he shot out his arm, a mystical blue spirit dragon head launched out from it and began biting and harassing the elder dragon, getting it to pause and swat at it. “That is Xeno’Jiiva, a dragon of pure bio-energy that will destroy this world if we don’t take it down. NOW.”

“Does it have to be in good shape?” Fragtrap asked as he was already spraying bullets at it from his spinigun.

“Just don’t kill it!” Wiggler shouted as he charged in and quickly mounted the thing, stabbing at its back with a large knife, causing it to thrash about, trying to dislodge him from it.

“Might wanna back off, then!” Wilhelm said as he switched his SUPER NORFLEET back out and loaded in the last shot. Wiggler would smack it a few more times, forcing it to the ground before he ran back to them. Once he was in a safe spot, Wilhelm fired the last specialized rocket for the weapon, and the group watched as the dragon was caught in a massive explosion. “There. Now there’s nothing left.”

“Didn’t he say to not kill it?” Jack commented, jabbing Wilhelm with his elbow.

“Target acquired. Firing.” Declared a garbled mechanical voice, and soon several others mirrored it, along with several assault rifles firing. The dust died down, revealing the Dragon was merely injured, it’s right wing pulled to it’s side and only trickling blood.

“Hey guys! The Constructor started making things!” Gladstone called out, trying to give them at least a small win.

As the new Hyperion Gun Loader prototypes fired upon the dragon while they strafed it, Wiggler glared at the three vault hunters. “Two things. One: It’s an Elder DRAGON. It’s not a pushover that’s going to flop over from three large explosions… Only Kirin is like that, little crystal shitting bastard. Second: IT’S A FUCKING ELDER DRAGON I TOLD YOU TO NOT KILL IT! So even if your little gun had worked, we’d all be fucked! Your world shouldn’t be able to cope with the energy it has stored up!” He then slapped Wilhelm and charged it again.

“... Did that guy just fucking slap me and effectively call me a moron?” Wilhelm questioned.

“Yep. He’s on the do-not-call list if we ever find his Token.” Jack huffed in disgust.

“I’d honestly say he’s on the must call list. He knows his shit.” Wilhelm said as he hefted up another launcher. “Seriously. I kinda needed that.”

“Whatever.” Jack grumbled as he brought the Razorback to bear, and fired at Xeno’s injured wing. The beast roared in pain and fury, being shot from all sides and stabbed by the Wiggler.

It suddenly flung the Wiggler off and roared loudly, causing everyone but Wilhelm to stop as it attempted to run back through the hole it made earlier. Wilhelm took initiative and swapped out his arms and legs for large versions of PWR Loader parts, then proceeded to grab the dragon and slammed it around for a bit, then pinned it against the ground. Wiggler ran up and tossed several small exploding packets into its mouth, forcing it to inhale the tranq gas that they released, which caused it to slowly pass out from inhaling so much tranquilizer.

Wilhelm slowly released the dragon as the Wiggler ran his hand across it, showing that it was indeed out for the count. “Alright… First time anyone’s caught an Elder Dragon… Good job with that help, guys.”

“Good, now get off our moon.” Luna angrily demanded through the Echo which connected the moment Xeno wasn’t jamming signals just from being active. “That monstrosity is interfering with Elpis’ connection to us.”

Wiggler… doesn’t hear her at all. “... Why are you guys standing around?”

“Oh, right. Princess Luna just called us over Echo… Oh right, you don’t have Echo.” He looks away from him. “Luna, he can’t hear you.”

“... Oh. One moment.” Luna stated before teleporting over. “Get that thing off our moon before We fling it into space.”

Wiggler was stunned for a moment. “Your majesty!” He said before bowing. “Now I know I must be on another world. The Luna of my world… Well, I don’t want to say anything more about that.”

“We do not care, begone.” Luna demanded, her eyes whiting out and snarling.

“O-Oh… I’m sorry. I just need to do something real quick.” He said before pulling out what looked like a finger puppet version of his helmet. He handed it to Wilhelm, who had switched his limbs back to normal. “That… should be able to call me, somehow, just without the giant world destroying dragon next time.” He said with a smile. “Alright, now I should get going… Um… Princess, can I ask for a charge?” He asked as he held out a blue crystal.

“Lout, thou has quite the gall to request anything, but if it gets this beast off Elpis then very well.” Luna’s horn shined with her cerulean magic and soon the crystal began to shine blindingly bright.

He aims the charged crystal at the floor by Xeno’Jiiva, which created a large portal that slowly took away the Elder dragon. “Alright, I’ll make sure to tell my Luna that another one of her did not appreciate having a rampaging Elder Dragon making a mess of her universe.”

“Be sure to tell her to get her realm cleaned up of such dangerous creatures. We at least keep the populations of beasts on Pandora at reasonable levels near population centers.” Luna huffed as she crossed her arms under her bust. Wait, why is she still wearing that fancy dress?

“Yeah, I’ll try to tell her that when she’s not transformed into one herself.” He then ran for the portal. “Bye!” And with that, Wiggler jumped into the portal and was gone.

“We wonder what he means, another version of us being a monster.” Luna spoke to herself, quite perplexed about his statement.

“... That guy is cool.” Wilhelm said as he played with the little finger puppet.

“Dude, put it away.” Jack sighed in relief now that the archaic derp was gone.

“Dude, he was a crackshot, knew how to deal with large problems, and could dodge fucking lasers. I think he’s earned whatever shenanigans he pulls.” Wilhelm grumped as he put the token into his Echo.

“Nope. Dimensional anomalies like that guy are considered random terrorist acts.” John commented, having connected at last with the interference gone. “Anyway, so, we’re another step closer to saving Elpis, Pandora, and the future of both. How are the barges coming RIP?”

“Enroute.” RIP chimed in. “We got together a few hundred scavs with New-U accounts to head up there on the condition they get hired for grunt work and can get out of scavenging to survive.”

“So long as they pass mental health checks.” John agreed. “So, we’ll have several trash barges ready to ferry combat loaders, as well as several dozen smaller ships with scavs, among which you’ll have dozens of salvaged Dahl jet fighters to support you up on Helios.” John declared as the Constructor continued churning out Gun Loaders from it’s digistructor.

“Sweet. Want us to meet back in Concordia before we head out?” Wilhelm asked.

“No, just go. We have a moon to save.” John said before cutting communications, presumably to use a fast travel.

“Alright, I’ll see you guys up there.” Wilhelm said as he walked over to the fast travel with Fragtrap. “See you when you get there.” The two took the fast travel and disappeared, leaving Jack and Luna alone.

“We have a better idea. Because we are going up there anyway, how about We teleport us there.” Luna suggested. “We know where they’ll be showing up, so New-U isn’t necessary.”

“Uh, but Luna….” Jack nervously said, moving closer and rubbing her lower stomach gently. “Don’t you have more than yourself to worry about now?”

“We know We are pregnant, and we can handle ourself, Jack. We have received an Anshin shield known as the Reogenator from the one known as Nina.” She said, smiling. “She was quite adamant that We protect ‘the little one’ in our womb.” Luna tittered as she leaned into her stallion, who reached down and groped her ass with a grin as they pressed their brows together.

“Um...can you not be scandalous in front of me please?” Gladstone requested from the peanut gallery with his face flushed.

“Go for the booty!” Constructor V1.0 cheered on instead.

“Shut up guys. Well, let’s go then! Stay back from the heat of battle though, okay?”

“Of course, We’ll cover you to from the rear.” Luna winked as she held up her arm bracer lasers.

“That sounds sexy.” Constructor cheers again. “Double-Entendre.exe successful!”

“Oh darn, I think it might be a pervert.” Gladstone grumbled as he went to maintaining the robot while Luna’s horn flashed, leaving him alone with the robot. “Well, now that we have a moment, I’ll just be-.”

“Digistrucking special Chassis Version 0.1.” The Constructor says as they leave. It then prints… a loader with horrible false tits.

“... I think I’m going to-” Gladstone starts, only to be interrupted by Felicity.

“If you fucking change it, I’m going to kill you. This thing could potentially create a chassis for me if it keeps going like this, and may learn how to make an amazing combat chassis.”

“... Understood. Let it be a learning machine… Maybe it’ll upgrade its own chassis while its at it.” Gladstone comments quietly.

“Digistructing New legs. Scientist Gladstone, please replace my current legs with these.” The Constructor drones as it prints slightly longer versions of the legs it already has, just with wheels that looked exactly like Fragtrap’s fancy stair-climbing wheel.

“How the hell did you even do this?!” Gladstone questioned.

Author's Notes:

If you ever want to crossover with Wiggler Knight, just contact DJ A String. Remember, that there is no story attached to Wiggler Knight, have fun with that.

Also, if you want to crossover with Jack and Wilhelm, contact either of us.
GJ- Actually contact me.
DJ- I heard that.
GJ-EEP!