[Concordia]

Wilhelm’s blue glowing optics suddenly snapped open, blinking in bewilderment. ‘Wow. That was a fun dream. Dream sims, awesome.’ “Jack, wake up!” Wilhelm shouted, only to get his muzzle constricted by an unfamiliar pale blue aura. ‘What is-? Oh yeah… That date actually went somewhere… Trixie is a beast in bed.’

“Quiet sexbot, Trixie is still sleepy….” Trixie groaned from atop him, the covers over her and him. The fact his sense of touch was only now registering said his start-up from sleep mode was a bit slow on the vestigial programs.

‘Oh yeah… Roleplay…’ “I’m sorry mistress, that command is not an option at this time.” Wilhelm said quietly as he moved his hands under the covers, trailing them up her hidden flanks, massaging her marks and making her shiver and bite her lip.

“N-no, not right now... Fine. Trixie is getting up.” Trixie conceded, sitting up from her position straddling his abs, giving Wilhelm a glorious view of her beautiful body as she rubbed her eyes. “Mm...last night, was splendid Wilhelm. Trixie can’t remember the last time she felt this sore….” Trixie admitted with a pleased grin as she grunted and got up and off the bed, stretching out her stiffness.

“Well color me surprised. I figured we’d just have a nice steak dinner, maybe date for a bit. This is the first time in a long while someone actually tapped me on the first date.” Wilhelm admitted with pride as Trixie rolled her eyes with an amused snort as he sat up and looked at the still blatantly robotic arms he was using before. “Still can’t believe you wanted me to keep the fullmetal limbs and not use my more bioorganic sets.

“What can she say? Trixie likes a good, hard hand on her flanks.” Trixie winked as she turned towards a door in the room, giving a blatant sashay and flick of her tail. “Wish to join Trixie in the shower? Show her how precise you can be in more gentle tasks?”

“I thought you said not right now.” Wilhelm chuckled as he got out of bed, revealing a blank groin. His reproductive equipment was actually stowed away until he needed it. Safety features for the win!

“Trixie has reconsidered~.” The silver-haired mare purred as she entered the bathroom, only to pause. “Oh...Trixie didn’t realize we...actually moved around….” Wilhelm blinked and moved next to her to see the mirror shattered, some blood, pulled-hair, and what might have been one of his false teeth, but a quick tongue check told him all his teeth were accounted for.... “Right...Trixie did drink rather heavily….”

“Unblocking memory sequence….” Wilhelm stated, and relived the moment he’d shucked aside at the time, and his face blushed in simulation. “Whoa...you’re...a really violent mare when it comes to sex. Practically demanded I pull your mane.”

“Yes...Trixie admits to having a bit of a fetish for violence.... Also you are quite durable, she must’ve figured you would be able to take and return if she let you find out so easily….” Trixie admitted nervously as she sniffed the blood, it wasn’t blood. “Some sort of unusual fluid, not blood, not oil. Possibly from when Trixie must’ve punched out your tooth.”

“Well, whatever. Last night was fun as hell though regardless. We’re definitely doing it again sometime.” Wilhelm commented as he made Trixie squeak when he picked her up bridal-style out of nowhere and walked her over the broken glass. “Now let’s get you clean mistress.”

“Oh~, Wilhelm, you know just what Trixie likes.” Trixie cooed as she used her magic to close the door.

[Elsewhere in Concordia]

Jack groaned as his eyes weakly opened, and he quickly knew he couldn’t move, feeling two soft and warm bodies on either side of him, possessively clutching an arm between their respectively impressive bosoms. ‘Oh no~....’

Jack finished opening his eyes, and carefully looked to his left to see Aurelia snoozing, her long dragon tongue lolled out and absently licking his neck like he was a tasty treat. He looked right, and almost stabbed his snout on Luna’s long, sharp horn as she nuzzled his shoulder in her sleep. ‘The owner of a whole planet, and a living goddess. Great...great...another story that might hopefully go somewhere...ow...my pelvis…. And Wilhelm’s damn checklist! Why must he jinx it by adding that damn “Get Jack Laid” to the list every big job we take?!’

“Hey, hey buddy.” Came an eerily familiar whisper on his echo. “Are you awake kid?”

“Who-?”

“WAKE THE FUCK UP!” Came a yell from the voice on the echo before a VERY masculine minotaur appeared in hologram form. “I NEED YOU TO DO SOME SHIT!”

“WHO DARES TO AWAKEN THE GODDESS OF THE MOON IN SUCH A CRASS MANNER?!” Luna bolted up, glaring with glowing white eyes at the hologram as Jack covered his hurting ears and Aurelia was jolted awake, falling to the floor off the side of the bed.

“THE GOD OF MOTHER FUCKING EXPLOSIONS, THAT’S WHO!” Torgue shouted over the echo as his muscular hologram flexed and posed. “MISTER TORGUE~ MEDLEYOWMEDLEYOW WOOOOOW~!” The minotaur finished with an air-guitar solo.

“Oh! Mr. Torgue! How has it been?” Luna asked casually before realising she was naked, and quickly covered herself with the blankets. “TAKE THIS ELSEWHERE JACK!”

“R-right! Right!” Jack panicked, not wanting to get annihilated by both the Pandoran moon goddess and a dragoness that was dangerously looming up from the other side of the bed, fire at her teeth as he jumped out of the bed and quickly digistructed a pair of shorts on as he exited the hotel room with the hologram of Torgue following..

“SO LITTLE GUY, YOU GOT A NICE BIT OF TAIL! TOO BAD THEY MIGHT BOTH KILL YOU!” Torgue shouted at Jack, congratulating him and also scaring the crap out of him. “SO, I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU TO DO, AND YOU’RE GONNA DO IT! OR YOUR OFFICIALLY A DOUCHEBAG!”

“Okay, okay! Geez, it’s not like I have a choice! When a Company Head demands something you get it done.” Jack gestured for Torgue to continue, only for the minotaur to grab at his long mane in frustration.

“I’M THE GOD OF EXPLOSIONS! NOT JUST A MOTHERFUCKING COMPANY HEAD! I AM TORGUE!” Torgue yelled even louder than his last message. “ANYWAYS, I NEED YOU TO GET YOUR ROBOT FRIEND! AND I DON’T MEAN THAT HYPERION NOT-A-TOTAL-FUCK-UP I GAVE THE FRAGGER V2! I MEAN THE BADASS WITH THE AWESOME BEARD! I HAVE SOMETHING FOR HIM, BUT FOR SOME REASON HIS ECHO IS OFF!”

“Off? Still? I thought he turned it back-oh~! He got laid! He doesn’t keep his Echo on when he’s doing those sorts of-.”

“THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT! HE WENT OFFLINE AFTER THAT WHOLE PORTAL BULLSHIT!” Torgue yelled. “I ONLY KNOW HE’S A FUCKING ANDROID NOW BECAUSE OF YOUR ECHO! HIS ISN’T IN THE GODDAMN SYSTEM! GO GET HIM SO I CAN GIVE HIM THIS BADASS TOOL IN RECOGNITION OF HIS BADASSITUDE AND HIS DEVOTION TO HIS DREAM TO BECOME A MOTHER FUCKING ROBOT!”

“Okay, okay! Geez, I’m going...holy shit, it’s cold out here!” Jack complained as he walked towards Trixie’s shop/home.

“DUH! IT’S THE MOON! YOU SHOULD’VE GRABBED A JACKET ON THE WAY OUT!” Torgue scolded, getting Jack to grumble about stupid gods and their stupid power in this Corpocracy-run universe.

[Trixie’s]

“Trix? Wil? Hello?” Jack called out as he entered the magic shop without any trouble. Trixie’s security might’ve been pretty good, but for a techie like him it was a simple matter of-

“STOP STALLING! GET YOUR FRIEND ALREADY!” Torgue demanded, and one of the cheap little knick-knacks decorating Trixie’s counter was inexplicably annihilated in a tiny explosion.

“What was that?!” Trixie’s voice called from the door leading to her home proper, and she ran out topless in her rush and complete disregard for modesty, and huffed in annoyance. “Again Torgue?”

“WHERE’S YOUR ANDROID SEX TOY? I HAVE SOMETHING FOR HIM!” Torgue replied, not caring about her broken little decoration as she rolled her eyes and magically restored what she could of the blasted-to-hell little bauble.

“He’s not a toy, even if the concept is kinky. Wilhelm! Get out of the bathroom and come speak to Torgue and your friend!” Trixie called back into her home as she pulled the shirt she was holding over her head.

“Torgue? What does he want? We haven’t done anything specific that should’ve gotten his attention.” Wilhelm commented as he shamelessly walked out from the private part of Trixie’s place, totally nude, but not at all obscene with his absent genitalia, making him seem more like an extremely anatomically correct android than anything else.

“Whoa, Wilhelm?! Dude, looking awesome!” Jack complimented, honestly impressed with his friend’s new body. “I’m still kinda angry you went through it so impulsively, but eh, you look good. But I thought you didn’t want to lose your ‘little Will’.” Jack

“Jack. I WILL pull out my dick and slap you with it if you keep talking like that.” Wilhelm warned. “Trust me, you WON’T like it.”

“Considering he’s easily a foot and a half long and three inches thick.” Trixie grinned victoriously as she moved to the chair behind her register. “Trixie hasn’t been laid so thoroughly in ages.”

“I’m surprised I have that much room in my abdomen….” Wilhelm mused as he looked at his blank groin. “Is it digistructed or something?”

“Yes, Trixie believes it appeared and disappeared in such a fashion. Perhaps you even have...alternate versions?” Trixie licked her lips at the thought, and Wilhelm blushed as he shrugged with a grin. “Regardless, you’ve been rather quiet Torgue-.”

“BECAUSE THIS SCENE WAS TOO PRECIOUS AND CUTE TO INTERRUPT! AWESOME ANDROID DUDE! CONNECT TO THE ECHONET AGAIN AND I WILL TRANSMIT COORDINATES TO A FUCKING BADASS WEAPON WORTHY OF YOUR BADASSITUDE!” Torgue demanded, and his hologram stopped projecting from Jack’s Echo.

“I’m not connected?” Wilhelm asked in surprise as he pulled up his Echo menu, seeing a ‘no signal’ sign. “Huh...weird. I think it’s set to other Jack’s system. Let me mess with it real quick.” Wilhelm moved his hand across the menu, and soon he-

“FUCKING FINALLY! HEAD TO THESE COORDINATES!” Torgue shouted over Echo again, and Wilhelm nodded at his map.

“It’s out on the Flats, better go, a Torgue Delivery Rocket is bound to draw any of the scavs that came out of the queue overnight.” Wilhelm commented as his clothes digistructed back on.

“We’ll have to stop by the hotel, I left all my clothes there with a pissed-off in-heat Luna and an irate Baroness.” Jack commented before looking at Trixie, taking a good strong whiff before cringing. “Uh...good luck you two.” Jack quickly left, leaving Trixie and Wilhelm to blink, and Trixie to gasp and hide her face in her hands.

“The Cycle! Oh, Trixie is an idiot!” Trixie groaned and then leaned back to looked down at her abdomen between her boobs under her tight shirt. “Trixie must’ve kicked on a day early from being so aroused, and the estrus was scheduled to start today. The fact Trixie isn’t pouncing you this minute is because she already sated her body’s need.”

“Trixie, it’s okay. I’m not about to up and ditch you if anything happens.” Wilhelm ensured. “Hell, even if something doesn’t, I’m sticking around. You’re actually the only mare I’ve met who preferred a metal limb over an organic one.”

“Well that is comforting. Trixie expects help raising foals.” Trixie glowered but sighed weakly in resignation. “Oh well, Trixie was hoping to settle down...but Trixie also was hoping it wouldn’t happen at such a bad time of danger as this whole situation with Helios. You better save Trixie even more now. New-U can’t preserve a fetus….”

“All the more reason for me to get going.” Wilhelm moved to Trixie and kissed her on the cheek. “You find a way off this rock and to another system if you have to, in the meantime I’m going to go kick the Legion’s ass.” Wilhelm then ran out of her shop, and the mare sighed as she leaned on her counter.

“Well Trixie, you really know how to pick them.” Trixie said wistfully as she began to worry about the future for once.

[Triton Flats]

“So we’ve got to activate the Stingray module for the Zoomie system to reach, ugh, Pickle, and we also have that rocket to reach for whatever it is Torgue wants to give you.” Jack summed up from what he got from a call from Angel, who was locked in Nina’s Clinic since she was starting to get heated like every mare and dog on Elpis and Pandora, about the situation. “It’s a good thing and a bad thing though, this Estrus Cycle. Since the dogs are synched with the mares from being in such close proximity for so long, the Legion is going to be just as preoccupied with it as us.”

“Except every Legion soldier we’ve fought was a guy.” Wilhelm mentioned from his spot up on the turret of the zoomie that was being driven by Jack. “I think Zarpedon planned for it. She seems to be the only babe I’ve seen in the Legion involved in this. Wherever they’re based out of, they’ve probably left all the bitches there so they don’t ruin the plan.” Wilhelm mentioned. “I think it’s standard military protocol to leave the females at base. Not sure. I just know that’s how the Vladof army works. Smart for heat periods, not really for everything else.”

“But that means Zarpedon is in heat too. That bitch will be addled if anything, she might even have her SIC take over for her.” Jack growled, this whole anthrofied version of Borderlands was making predicting events much more difficult. “As it stands, you, I, Fragtrap and Aurelia are the only ones able to function, and the only reason Aura isn’t in heat too is because I boinked her brains out and got it out of her system.”

“I see. Well, what about-”

“People of Elpis.” Zarpedon suddenly broadcasted, and her slightly panting, flushed face, and sweaty brow were indicative that she was, very much so, in heat too. “W-we inform you that the poor timing of this operation, a-and the, oh gosh...the...GET OUT OF HERE HELLHOUND!” Zarpedon roared, and there was some noise in the background sounding like apologies and a door shutting. “Damn it...now I’m...mmph...ugh...you have some time. Be glad. That...is all….” Zarpedon hung up, clearly about to lose it.

“Yeah...she’s totally in heat. And she’s not too old either so she’s really receptive right-.”

“People of Elpis.” A different voice, one they only heard once before in a heated battle, came on the Echo this time, and the face of Hellhound was on the receiver. “This is Commander Hellhound of the Lost Legion. Due to my commanding officer’s current state, I will be taking over this operation until the Cycle ends. You have twelve hours before our technicians have Helios operating again. We will resume firing at that time. You have until then to evacuate, we will not stop any ships leaving the system. That is all.”

“Well then. That’s pretty lucky for Trixie, I guess. She has time to figure out how to escape and where to go.” Wilhelm stated. “And before you ask, Jack, yes. I probably DID knock her up. You probably knocked up Aurelia and Luna, too.”

“Luna, yeah, but Aurelia? She said she wasn’t-.”

“Um...Cabana Boy?” Aurelia suddenly called. “Um...I have some...awkward news...um...needless to say you...might be a Baron of a planet soon….” Aurelia suddenly hung up, and Jack groaned.

“Great...dragon babies...with a bitch.” Jack bemoaned, but he had to admit, when Aurelia let her more feral side out, she was a hot number in body and personality. “Well Wil...I think I know why we may have been put in Jack and Wilhelm’s place on a more cosmic existential scale. You and I are more likely than them to settle down.”

“Hey, Jack might be a love-and-leave-em type, but Wilhelm was a bit too bitter about his childhood to leave any kids be. Besides, wasn’t Jack an orphan?” Wilhelm asked as they pulled up to the garage that Springs had informed the others of. “Also, John and Roland better be someplace out of Concordia, or they’ll end up dads too...or, well, a double-dad in John’s case.”

“Pfft, double-dad! That sound’s like something ridiculous, like a multi-bear.” Jack climbed out of the zoomie, not at all worried since it seemed the few scavs around were too nervous to open fire. It seemed Nisha and Aurelia put the fear of death in them for a while.

“Hey, don’t mock the multi-bear.” Wilhelm said. “Gravity Falls was a great show… Ah, how I wouldn’t love to find some poor guy who got Displaced as- SHIT!” Wilhelm ducked just as a HUGE piece of scrap got sent flying at him.

“GET OUT! Athena’s MINE!” Came the angry yell of Janey Springs from the atmo of the garage entrance. “You’re fine, Jack. But HIM! You get away from this place before I cut your bloody head off! Ever since Trixie made up with her and she’s gone into heat, she’s been trying to get with her! And that means with YOU! NOW GET!” Janey chucked another huge piece of scrap at Wilhelm, who casually dodged it.

“Not really sure what that’d do now… Considering I’m an android…” Wilhelm said calmly.

“Even worse! Athena’s preference for females isn’t going to stop her from pouncing you, especially since you likely smell like Trixie!” Janey shouted angrily, the childbearing-hipped roo waving a wrench around threateningly.

“But I’m out-”

“I SAID LEAVE!” Janey yelled again, this time with enough acid in her tone to melt an army of robots.

“... I’ll just…go get that Torgue delivery rocket…” Wilhelm said, slightly freaked out from Janey’s anger.

“Okay, you go do that. Now why am I alright though? I mean, if she’s in heat, I’d set her off just as well even if she’s gay.” Jack said as he entered the garage entrance, the other door was closed but not locked.

“I know, but that’s why I’m even out here. Athena needed me to help keep her from jumping the first male roo or otherwise she encountered and someone needed to get the Stingrays up and running that wasn’t completely lost in a haze of lust or being stuck pleasuring someone who was in said lust.” Springs said irritably. “I don’t get you ponies, you and your stupid biology. Your populations just keep spiking every year, leaving us more sensible folk out of homes and jobs.” Janey rolled her eyes. “Hell, your stupid Estrous Cycle gets other races like dogs, taurs, and other heat-cycle species set off at the same time. No wonder this time of year the whole damn universe revolves around sex and reproduction.”

“Hey, to be fair, as a guy, I appreciate your sentiment. I’m more than likely going to be a dad now, and it was because we were busy and got caught with our pants down...literally.” Jack shook his head, wondering what having a foal with a Goddess and eggs with a Baroness would pan out, since such positions can’t just leave him be without shaming themselves.

“Well as a sensible roo with superior taste, I can say that if there was some sort of drug or something that could actually succeed in suppressing the equine estrus cycle, the economy would have some time to balance out.” Janey started a conversation as she led Jack to a few crates and sat down. “I mean, it’d give us heatless races a chance to catch up too. It’s no wonder ponies are the majority when they outnumber most other races two-to-one, aside from the horses I mean, they’re just as bad if not worse.”

“Oh~ yeah. I’ve been to Poseidon. Damn horses are way worse. It’s like their society is based around sex. Mares often walk around nude, by choice, and stallions are...eugh...it’s a pervert’s paradise, but trust me, you try a mare there, you will be beyond tired, and beyond scared of what they can do in bed.” Jack replied, and Springs looked very interested in the dirty details.

And so it was that Jack and Janey became very good friends, talking about girls.

[With Wilhelm]

Wilhelm ran and jumped tirelessly across the flats, just as fast as the moon zoomie that Jack had been driving. ‘Being a robot, so, fucking awesome!’ Wilhelm grinned, but gagged a bit when his sophisticated olfactory senses let him get a good whiff of the nearby methane pools. ‘Blech...like shit...I’ll have to learn how to turn some functions off, or down at least.’ Because even in vacuum, shit stank. Shit stank no matter where it was. The only saving grace for liquid methane was it’s use for Cryo.

“I SEE YOU’RE AROUND THE COORDINATES I GAVE YOU! FIRING DELIVERY ROCKET!” Torgue suddenly declared as epic electric guitars suddenly began playing.

“YOU DIDN’T FIRE IT YET?!” Wilhelm yelled right as the delivery rocket came into view, forcing Wilhelm to jump epicly out of the way moments before a violent impact that sent debris everywhere.

“YOU SURVIVED! YOU HAVE PASSED EVERY REQUIREMENT I HAVE TO HAVE THE ULTIMATE IN ANTI-PERSONNEL AND ANTI-VEHICLE WEAPONRY! BEHOLD!” Torgue declared as the rocket opened up down the center epicly, revealing a rocket launcher that did NOT look like a Torgue weapon, despite that most of it was using Torgue parts.

“... Is that a Norfleet? There’s only 5 of these! Why do you have one?! That’s a Maliwan Legendary! Those cats are extremely territorial on their tech!” Wilhelm questioned in surprise.

“IT’S ACTUALLY A ONE TIME COLLABORATION BETWEEN MY COMPANY AND MALIWAN!” Torgue happily yelled. “I TOLD THEM I SAW AN EPIC POTENTIAL IF THEY GOT RID OF NORMAL ELEMENTS FOR SOME OF THEIR DESIGNS, AND THEY SAID THEY WOULD LOVE TO DO IT! WE CALL IT THE SUPER NORFLEET! CHECK IT OUT!”

“Super Norfleet?”

“NO! IT’S ALL IN CAPS! IT’S THE SUPER NORFLEET!”

Wilhelm took the launcher in his hands and started checking it over both manually and at the stat card. It looked like a normal Maliwan Norfleet, just made with Torgue parts, but there was a couple things different about it… Such as how it did a ludicrous amount of damage. “THIS IS A PEARLESCENT?! AND IT’S EXPLOSIVE?! THE SHIT?!”

“TRY IT OUT! I WANT TO SEE IT IN ACTION!” Wilhelm promptly put it on his shoulder, and aimed it at some rocks.

“Um… Okay…” Wilhelm said, pulling the trigger… only to receive a clicking sound. “... The fuck?”

“OH...Thats right….” Torgue actually lost his exuberance. “Uh...okay, serious talk. I’ll get the Maliwan Ceo on the line, I think she said something about a security feature for it to prevent just anyone from using such an overpowered weapon on anybody.” Wilhelm patiently waited as an actual ring began sounding over the line, and soon an incredibly hot and shapely white tigress answered, not even her business suit hid her species’ naturally shapely allure.

“Hello again Torgue. To what do I owe the ear-shattering pleasure?” Wilhelm remained silent, nervous. The felines that originated from Persephone were very sharp-witted, and short-tempered. The fact that this one even allowed Torgue to speak with her said volumes of her patience, but he had an ultimate rarity weapon on his hands, and she could very well be the only one who could unlock this sexy beast for him.

“Uh, hello Felicia. I granted the, ahem, Super Norfleet to someone who can handle it, but I forgot about the safety lockout.” Torgue’s genial and even tone, and even not using a shouting voice for the SUPER NORFLEET as he demanded before told Wilhelm to stay quiet for damn sure unless spoken to.

“Is that right? Well, it would need a proper battlefield testing. Who is the recipient?” Felicia asked as she adjusted herself in her chair, her large exposed cleavage jiggling as she fanned herself. Clearly even she wasn’t unaffected by the universal heat cycle.

“Wilhelm the Enforcer.” Torgue calmly informed.

“That pony? Hm...he could be the sort of ultra-violence we would need to test such a deadly weapon. Very well.” Suddenly, the SUPER NORFLEET chirped, and the ammo cylinder span as it revved up. “There, it should be usable now, just as a warning, it is much more concentrated in spread than the usual model, so let Mister Wilhelm know not to rely on it’s spread. Also please warn him of how it takes twice as much ammo to fire as a normal Norfleet, which is why the ‘clip’ is so big.” Felicia paused for a second before continuing. “And Mister Wilhelm?”

“E-er, yes?” Wilhelm asked, a bit worried that she noticed he was on too when he had remained quiet, must’ve been the SUPER NORFLEET had ratted him out with it’s chirping.

“Please do not try to cheat the system by using a normal Norfleet’s clip to reload the launcher. It was not meant for that.” Felicia warned. “Please only use the digistructed clip that forms when you’re meant to reload… And Torgue, tell him how to dispose of the old clip. I have a meeting to get to. Oh, and Torgue?”

“Yes ma’am?”

“I expect you in my private office in a few hours.” Felicia breathily stated with a rumbling purr.

“Y-yes ma’am….”

“Good, Felicia out.” She hung up, and the two males remained silent for a moment.

“SHE IS SCARY AS ALL FUCK, AND I DIG THAT!”

Author's Notes:

Oh~ no! The Cycle has thrown everything for a loop! The Crew is effectively cut in half!

Things just keep getting more complicated!