Adjusting to life with Talon as a roommate was proving to be quite the experience. In the short time they’d been together, she’d already become even more clingy of Thomas, invading his personal bubble and letting her claws wander much more than usual. She especially enjoyed keeping him on his toes with surprise butt pinches. In addition to throwing herself on him with greater frequency, she had sat hip to hip with him during Luna’s wake up ritual. Luna used her hand on Talon while Thomas, at first, tried to block the griffon’s view of his groin in the Princess’ mouth, but eventually let her look as long as she wanted.

After that Talon had further intruded on the time that had once been reserved strictly for him and Luna by insisting they share the bathroom as well. Worse, in an oddly relaxing way, was just how accepting the Princess of the Night was about all this. She even seemed to enjoy the way they all fought for space in front of the mirror to brush their teeth and beak. Thomas had finished the quickest and decided to watch Luna and Talon take the extra time to file and brush their respective horns and wings. It was all strangely relaxing to watch these two powerful creatures of myth tend to themselves as casually as any mundane human, though mundane was the last word this human would ever use to describe these two. At least they gave each other privacy when it came time to use the toilet. And all of this before they even left for the dining hall.

At breakfast, the fact that the griffon was now sitting on the other side of the table made no difference to Celestia’s remaining concubines, save for the occasional teasing about turning to the dark side. Thomas suppressed his laughter and promised to explain it later. They laughed and conversed the same as they always did. The only major difference was that now Talon was much less tolerant of Thomas’ silence, constantly trying to drag him in to whatever conversation she thought he could contribute to, which he appreciated.

Seeing as it was Sunday, with no royal appointments to meet, Talon suggested that they don their disguises again and have another night on the town. She argued that, now that she was stabled with them, they needed a proper first date before settling down to herd life. Thomas agreed only after he made them both promise not to turn him into a mare again, which they accepted. Thomas was disguised as a stallion again and Luna was the same blue unicorn as before. Even Talon thought it would be fun to be a pink Pegasus for the night. With Swift Scabbard and Moonlight having the day off, Luna and her harem were escorted by two other guards that Thomas recognized but couldn’t remember the names of.

“Hey, smarty-corn!” Talon called as she saw Moonlight exit chow hall, wearing nothing but a sports bra.

Moonlight glared back at the pink Pegasus before it donned on her. “Talon?”

“Nope,” the pegasus shook her head with a grin. “Tonight I’m Sweet Buns. I’m going on a date with my herd-mates Blue Sapphire and Moon Lover.”

“Out?” Moonlight was taken aback by the word. “You’re going out? You can’t go out.”

“Oh?” Luna tilted her head. “And why would that be?”

“I’m Sir Thomas’ body guard. He can’t go out without me.”

“I’m certain Hard Edge and Feather Sharp will do just fine,” Luna gestured to the guards behind her.

“But they’re not herrrr,” Talon purred as she closed the distance with Moonlight before turning back to Luna. “A guard’s gotta guard, ya know. She’s not gonna feel comfortably letting anypony but her look out for the little chimp.”

“Really now?” Luna asked with intrigue as she brought her free hand to tap her cheek. “This is a most distressing turn of events. How would you recommend remedying this dire situation, Lover?” she asked playfully.

Thomas gulped as he felt the weight of all eyes fall upon him. “I, um.”

“Use your words, chimp. That’s the mouth’s secondary purpose after all.”

“Secondary?” Thomas asked. His question was met with a sly smirk and griffon eyebrows bouncing suggestively. Ignoring the innuendo, along with his increasing fascination with Talon’s beak and how it was able to contort into so many shapes, Thomas resumed focusing on the question until an answer came. He recognized Luna’s playful tone, and from there it wasn’t hard to figure out what his Princess was asking for. “If it’s her day off, and she doesn’t have anything better to do…”

“Yeeeeees,” Talon nodded, motioning for him to continue.

“I guess, if she wants to, she could come with us.”

“You guess?” Luna frowned, tugging his arm slightly.

“Moonlight,” Thomas said as clearly as possible. “Would you like to accompany us on our…”

“Yes!” Moonlight shouted with a squeak, followed by a several coughs to clear her throat. “I mean, I would be honored to accompany you and your, ahem, herd on your outing.”

Sensing his confusion, Luna pulled Thomas down a bit to whisper in his ear. “Usually it’s the mares who ask out the stallions,” she shot Moonlight a quick grin. “I imagine she feels awfully special being asked by such an adorable stallion as yourself.”

Damn it, that’s right. Roles are reversed here. Any human guy would naturally get flustered if a girl asked him out. I know I sure as hell was… and still am. But… that’s not what this is. I asked a friend to hang out with other friends, didn’t I? I mean, it’s not like… The pieces began to fall into place in Thomas’ head. Oh crap.

It was then that Thomas realized that Luna wasn’t whispering very softly. Most likely this was the cause of Moonlight’s deepening blush. She opened her mouth to say something, but her head was promptly locked in the griffon’s pegasus’ arm. The mare’s eyes went wide when she saw Talon beaming down at her with the pride of having just won a prize.

As he watched the two wrestle and mutter obscenities at one another, Thomas leaned against Luna and whispered in what he hoped was a soft enough tone. “What you said back there, about the asking?”

“Yes,” Luna nodded. “What about it?”

“Back there, did I…”

“Did you what?” Luna asked bemusedly.

Thomas struggled to think of just the right way to phrase this. “Did I just ask a mare out on a date with my herd?”

Luna looked over to Moonlight and then back to him with a grin. “I do believe you did.” Luna frowned again when she saw the worry in Thomas’ eyes. “Why does this bother you?”

“I just…” Thomas gritted his teeth.

“You’re frustrated at the prospect of unknowingly walking into our traditions and giving off signals you hadn’t intended?” Luna offered.

Thomas felt his heart lift as he beamed at Luna. “Exactly. I was just inviting a friend to hang out with other friends.”

“I understand,” Luna nodded. “But don’t worry. I’m certain she doesn’t mind either way.”

“What do you mean?” Thomas inquired; glancing up to see that Moonlight had jumped on Talon’s back and was endeavoring to put the Pegasus-looking griffon in a choke hold. “I don’t want to give the wrong impression.”

“Then don’t,” Luna said simply. “Let your actions speak for you. Treat Moonlight as a cherished friend and she will reciprocate.”

Thomas raised an eyebrow. “You make it sound easy.”

“It’s only complicated if you choose it to be,” Luna assured, glancing quickly over at the mare in question. Talon had turned the tables and now had the mare in a most compromising position. “I have no doubt she cares for you as much as you do for her. So long as you make that known, all will be well.”

Thomas chuckled. “Thank you, love Yoda.”

“What’s a Yoda?”

“Tell ya later.”

A few meager protests later and the secret royal entourage departed the castle.

“Something the matter?” Luna inquired as she walked along side Thomas, his stallion arm held tightly in her own while Talon clung possessively to Moonlight as they walked beside them.

“Part of it is this body,” Thomas smirked. “Still not quite used to this body. But it’s also the sun. Sometimes it still feels weird to go out and not have the sun shining down on me.”

“But the two of you had been reacquainted just the other day,” Moonlight offered with an encouraging smile.

“Which felt weird,” he retorted. “And knowing that the sun felt weird makes it even weirder. Does that make sense?” Thomas asked.

“You were born into the sun,” Luna hummed, tightening her grip around her stallion’s arm. “But you have converted to the moon. No doubt you feel strange due to your conflicting allegiances.”

Something about Luna’s words bothered Thomas. “The sun’s nice and warm, but it’s distant,” he explained, grabbing hold of one of her hands. “I’ve got something better.”

“Oh?” Luna raised an eyebrow. “What could you possess that could possibly compare to the majesty of the sun?”

“Please don’t do that,” Thomas sighed.

“Do what?”

“You always look so sad when you talk about the sun like that,” Thomas explained, brushing a bit of the unicorn’s mane out of her eyes. “Please don’t put yourself down like that. You’re much prettier when you’re happy.”

Luna averted her gaze and simply rested her head on her stallion’s shoulder. She felt a light pressure behind her eyes. It would take a lot more than this to make her cry, but it was still so very touching. These were the things a stallion was supposed to say to his mare, but Thomas wasn’t saying them out of any sense of obligation or because he was trying to get something. He just wanted her to smile. “Charmer,” she quipped.

“I try,” Thomas shrugged, smiling as he reflected on just how easy such things were to say to others.

“Still didn’t answer the question,” Talon reminded them. “What do you have that’s as hot as the sun?”

Thomas blushed through his illusion. Luna was now meeting his gaze, her eyes demanding he answer. Even Moonlight seemed to be leering at him from the corner of her eye. He sighed, taking a strange bit of solace in knowing that there was no escape. “I’ve got this little spot in the castle,” Thomas answered proudly.

“A spot in the castle?” Luna inquired.

“It’s in a room on one of the upper floors in the Lunar Wing. Perhaps you’ve seen it.”

“Perhaps we have,” Luna smiled playfully. “Do describe this spot of yours.”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that,” Thomas shook his head. “If I used details that did the spot justice, I’d worry the hotness would set the entire block on fire.”

“Really chimp?” Talon shook her head disapprovingly. “That has got to be one of the cheesiest lines I’ve ever heard.”

“Oh hush, you,” Luna snapped her tail and struck Talon’s rump right where the bite marks were healing. The Pegasus-looking griffon winced and Moonlight couldn’t help but chuckle at her discomfort. “We, er, I found it quite sweet. Thank you, dearest Lover.”

“You’re welcome, my lovely Sapphire,” Thomas said as posh as could. The words felt natural as they flowed forth and filled him with great warmth. Even if she didn’t look like herself, Luna’s words and warmth were still familiar and put him at ease. Staring down at her unicorn persona, Thomas sighed contentedly as if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

We’re married. Thomas thought as he recounted last night’s dream. I’m married to Princess Luna and we’ve been married for a while now. No big commotion or expensive wedding. The Princess and co-ruler of all Equestria simply chose me because she wanted me and now I’m hers. She’s mine too. He marveled, gently stroking the back of her hand with his fingers.

The group explored the city with no clear destination in mind. Someone would make a suggestion and the group would follow suit. Seeing as this was all incredibly similar to their previous outings, Thomas discretely asked Luna if Talon was supposed to be doing anything special on this pretend first date, but Luna assured him all was well. Talon was simply having fun and the more serious matters could wait for later. Thomas briefly considered arguing, but then realized there really wasn’t anything he’d rather be doing than to hang out with his mare and two best friends. Besides, what else would a date involve if not activities that everyone enjoyed?

Granted they should probably be doing more to get to know one another, but after hanging out so much, it seemed like there wasn’t much left to learn. Even the initial worry about Moonlight acting awkwardly had faded from his mind as the unicorn behaved the same as she ever did, apparently, hopefully understanding what he meant earlier. In fact, the more he thought about it, seriously thought about it, the more he felt like this date served no other purpose than to keep hanging out with the people he cared about most in the world, which was just fine. When they arrived at a restaurant for lunch, they had a swift bout of musical chairs leaving Thomas with Talon and Moonlight with the disguised Luna.

“Moonlight,” Luna addressed the off-duty guard, giggling cutely when she stood at attention. “How are you taking to the knowledge of your new position?”

Moonlight pursed her lips together as she considered how best to answer. “I think it might be a bit too early to say. I haven’t even told my family,” she sighed. “I can’t figure out if it’s worth the risk to do so in person just to see all their reactions.”

“All of your family resides in Canterlot?” Luna inquired.

“Not all of them, no,” Moonlight denied. “Many of my brothers and sisters have moved elsewhere to pursue their own lives. Last time I checked, it was just me, my parents, and my two youngest brothers still in the city.”

Luna nodded curiously and inquired more about Moonlight’s family, only to stop at the mention of one of her mothers being a baker. “What sort of things does she bake?”

“Cakes, mostly,” Moonlight said with a warm smile. “She’d always pull out one of her secret recipes for special occasions. I miss that,” she trailed off.

“What about you, chimp?” Talon pressed.

Thomas eyed the pink Pegasus mare warily. She was smaller than Talon, but her eyes still held that threatening predatory look. “What about me, what?”

“You adjusting?”

Thomas sighed and let himself relax against Talon’s side, inadvertently causing her feathers to puff out a bit. “I guess my answer is the same. Still too early to say, but so far it’s pretty nice,” he smiled over at Luna, which she returned appreciatively before returning her attention to Moonlight, much to his confusion.

“You’re welcome, by the way,” Talon offered smugly. “I hope you appreciate all the trouble I’m going through just to be your practice herd-mate.”

Thomas leered back at the Pegasus. “Oh yeah,” he said dryly. “I’ll bet it’s a real chore to go out on the town with your friends like you usually do, not to mention all you did last night.”

Talon beamed back him as she struggled to find a retort. “You bit me on the butt!”

“You what?” Moonlight blurted.

“I did not.”

“Seriously?” Talon said in disbelief as she pushed him back and propped herself up to give a better view of her rump. She pointed, but the indentations were still fairly clear to see. “It’s like you thought my butt was covered in chocolate cake or something.”

“Dearest Lover has shown a certain affinity for plots,” Luna commented nonchalantly.

Moonlight flushed heavily, unable to take her eyes off the marks on Talon’s butt.

Thomas soon recovered from his stunned silence. “I don’t remember anything like that. How do you know that was even me?” he demanded with a hint of desperation.

Talon’s Pegasus muzzle smirked. “See these indentions?” she pointed back at the marks. “They were made by something with carnivore teeth. You can also tell by the spacing just how big the mouth was. Ya might as well have thrown in your signature for good measure.”

Thomas blushed through his illusion, too stunned to speak.

“You really don’t remember, do you?” Talon asked with sincere sounding concern as she set her rump back down. “Damn. The buck brain must be worse than I thought. That or you should probably lay off the cider for a while.”

“I choose the latter,” Thomas volunteered. “Never cared for alcohol back home and it only causes problems here.”

“So biting my butt is a problem, is it?” Talon asked with an offense that Thomas couldn’t tell if it was serious or not.

“I… yes?”

Thankfully the waiter had just arrived with their orders. Food became the new focus of the group until the awkwardness of the moment dissipated. Luna resumed pressing Moonlight for information on her mother’s cooking, along with any knowledge the guard might have had. Talon changed the subject to describing what it was like to be in a harem. When he didn’t understand the comparison to be like any other herd, she delved into describing that instead.

One detail which caught him by surprise was that most in Celestia’s harem had continued in their careers before meeting her, even if only to a lesser degree. They had superiors, subordinates, deadlines, and all the other things any other working pony would have. In fact, their status as concubines was kept in relative levels of secrecy, depending what the pony in question felt most comfortable with. In some cases, their visits to the castle were like a part time job, though secret affair might have been more fitting. Because there were so many of them, days off were incredibly flexible. Talon was actually in the minority of those who were full time concubines, but she sometimes volunteered on her off-duty hours to train the recruits. The point the Pegasus-looking griffon had been leading up to was that Thomas should consider getting a part time job.

“You’re being serious,” Thomas deadpanned.

“Until the harem grows, you’re not going to have that much to manage. You should really consider finding something else to occupy your time so ya don’t end up lazing around.”

“You’re pretty good at catching errors in writing,” Moonlight interjected. “My stories have never read so smoothly. Perhaps you could be a scribe’s assistant or something.”

“Most certainly,” Luna agreed, turning to face him across the table. “A secondary occupation, perhaps something in or around the castle, could be most invigorating.”

Thomas eyed the blue unicorn suspiciously. “No offense, but how would you know that?”

Luna averted her gaze. “Indulging in courtship rituals, how ever pleasing, is not the only use we have for the disguise spell. We have indulged in… a number of personas.”

The three surrounding ponies leaned in with clear intrigue.

“At the long ago suggestion from sister, we have, from time to time, forged resumes for the purpose of infiltrating the castle staff to gain a better understanding of the common pony. However, we have not had the time for this particular indulgence since our return.”

“Indulgence?” Talon raised an eyebrow. “Interesting choice of words.”

“Yeah,” Thomas furrowed his brow in suspicion. He wanted to know, but mostly he was enjoying giving Luna a taste of her own medicine by making her squirm at the center of attention. At meeting her eyes, Thomas instantly knew that Luna had somehow interpreted his intent and that she, with a long and deliberate blink, planned to pay him back for his efforts; leaving the pony-looking human wondering if he should be afraid, excited, or both.

Straightening her posture and looking very regal, Luna answered. “We… have always had a fondness for… cooking.”

“I sense a story,” Talon said suggestively.

After a bit more coaxing, Luna recounted how she had applied for positions in the kitchens of their old castle. She’d always been so fascinated with cooking, of combining art and science to create a great treasure to be enjoyed by others, loved ones especially. However, each time she was given the opportunity to make something, she botched it. Her personas were often fired, somewhat ironically, after they had set fires to the kitchens.

Thomas reached out and took her hand consolingly, occasionally staring daggers at the pink Pegasus beside him who was struggling not to laugh.

“It’s alright,” Luna smiled appreciatively. “Tis important for everypony to know their weaknesses. This holds especially true for those in our position.”

“Did you, ya know,” Thomas hesitated, fearing how his words might be interpreted, “take lessons?”

“We had considered, but never found the time,” Luna sighed in disappointment. “In days long gone by, we would have relished the chance to attend the finest culinary school in the land, but the demands of court would never allow it.” With another sigh, Luna became very uncomfortable as the surrounding ponies eyed her in disbelief. “What?”

“Luna,” Thomas smiled gently. “You don’t have to go to some fancy school to learn how to cook.”

Luna blinked at him. “What?”

“You don’t need a fancy school,” Thomas explained. “You could do like you did with the tutor and just schedule an hour or two every other day.”

Luna blinked again. “What?”

“My mother never went to school,” Moonlight cut in. “She learned how to cook from her mother and two of my siblings learned from her. They were inspired by her just as I was inspired by my other mother to become a guard. I went to schooling, but I was already pretty good thanks to everything she taught me.” She gestured casually. “You can also buy cook books pretty cheaply. It’d surprise me if the library at the castle didn’t have a few already.”

Luna remained still a moment longer, and then blinked once more. “What?”

“If your forged resumes said you went to school,” Talon thought out loud, “after so many screw ups, the castle chefs probably figured out that the resumes were forged and sent you packing without a second thought.” She leaned back and folded her arms. “You never tried for an entry position or anything?”

When the waiter arrived to give them the bill, Luna swiped Thomas’ bit bag and threw the whole thing at the poor stallion, knocking him down, before she beckoned them all to accompany her with deadly seriousness. They followed silently as she hailed a carriage. Thomas tried to inquire what was bothering her, understandably worried, but she paid him no mind. She didn’t even wait for the incognito guards to board before demanding the driver make for the castle at top speed, throwing in a few extra bits if he got there in less than ten minutes.

Save for Luna, the carriage’s three other occupants were thrown about their little compartment by the driver’s reckless racing. How exactly does one drive a common carriage upside down anyway, assuming that’s what happened? Somehow, each time they screeched to a halt at a stop sign or red light, Thomas had found himself in a rather… compromising position. The first involved him grabbing hold of Talon’s waist while his pelvis was pressed against her backside. The second saw him on top of Moonlight in a 69 position; as they lay there for an extended period of time, too embarrassed to move, the heat coming off her genitals left a strangely vanilla taste in his mouth. And the third time left him on the carriage floor with Talon sitting on his face, Moonlight sitting on his groin, and both females locked in each other’s arms with their lips separated by a mere inch of distance.

Meanwhile, Luna sat perfectly still with legs crossed and arms folded across her chest. Her face was adorned with the look of absolute focus. When the carriage finally arrived at the castle, Luna marched out at a brisk pace, lighting her horn as the disguises melted away. The others, having developed a newfound sympathy for shaken ice, crawled out as fast as their bruised bodies would let them. The driver, showing no compassion, gently reminded them of what he was promised. Talon managed to pull herself up and toss the bag of bits into his lap. With a notably higher pitched voice, he thanked them for their service and drove off.

“I-is that w-what,” Moonlight heaved, “What you mean by b-buck brain?”

Talon gave a week nod. “A romp with an alicorn… basically.”

At the griffon’s confirmation, Moonlight groaned at being reminded of her failure to check out Thomas’ penis for her friends.

Curse me and my tangents. This story has gone through so many rewrites it’s really hard to keep track of what’s happening, even for me. For instance, this was originally meant to be a stay-in story where the four of them just hung out in Luna’s room. But then I kept going and thought about the thing Luna’s doing now and I had to rework it. This new version was written before I had fully figured out the whole stabling thing, so while the characters said this outing was sort of for Thomas and Talon’s sake, but that just didn’t happen. Then on a later read I saw that Thomas inviting Moonlight as he did was hard to see as something other than an unintended invitation into the herd, which kinda went unresolved. This whole thing is a mess, but hopefully an entertaining one.