Recognizing them, the castle guards quickly moved to aid the worn and weary travelers inside. Talon and Moonlight required two ponies each to carry them in while Thomas only needed one. And just his luck, he got a mare who kept sniffing at him. At Talon’s request they were brought to Luna’s quarters where the three unceremoniously flopped onto the bed, though Thomas made sure to put a bit more distance between himself and the females.

*Knock Knock*

“Ugh,” Talon groaned, pulling herself up to better meet who ever would knock on Princess Luna’s door. “Who is it?”

The door creaked open and a long white horn peaked through, followed shortly by the white snout, pink hair, and the golden eyes of Princess Celestia. “May I come in?” She asked tentatively.

Talon fell back onto the bed with a huff while Moonlight shot up at attention. Thomas tried to pull himself up, but his body was still too sore.

Celestia eyed the three carefully as she entered the room and let the door close behind her, nostrils flaring every once in a while. “You don’t smell like you’ve been rutting. Care to explain what happened to put you all in such a state?”

“Canterlot carriages,” Talon huffed. “Never again.”

Thomas groaned in agreement.

“Ah,” Celestia nodded sympathetically. “Might this have something to do with Lulu stealing herself to the library with Lady Attentive Eye, whom she snatched from her bed rather abruptly?”

Thomas squinted up at Celestia. “How long have we been lying here?”

“Not that long,” Celestia sighed. “Did something happen on your outing?”

The two herd-mates and guard exchanged nervous glances before Thomas elected to answer. “We told Luna she didn’t need to go to school to learn how to cook.”

Celestia tilted her head as her eyes widened. “Lulu… is cooking?”

“Sounds like she’s just doing some reading for now,” Talon offered. “Don’t know how many pies she can make in library.”

Celestia gulped slowly. “I… need to go warn the kitchens.”

“Wait,” Thomas called before Celestia could depart. “Why do you need to warn them?”

Celestia eyed the human sternly, but he impressed her by not backing down as most ponies did. “Did she tell you about her previous attempts at cooking?”

Thomas nodded. “She said the cooks kicked her out after she started a few fires.”

“Forty two,” Celestia said flatly. “That is not the number of fires she started. That is the number of fires she started that threatened to burn down our old castle. The first of which happened when she tried boiling water. Water!”

Thomas flinched. “You can’t be serious.”

“Deadly serious,” Celestia answered with a low growl. “We’ll have to reposition the guard around the kitchens, confiscate heating materials around the castle, perhaps the chefs will need to be armed and…”

“Hold on,” Thomas jumped off the bed and walked up to Celestia. “Don’t you think you’re taking this a bit too far? It sounds like you’re planning for war.”

“I realize this must be upsetting for you,” Celestia said softly. “But I can assure you that I act only in the best interests of not only Equestria, but my sister as well.” Thomas looked back at her in confusion, she continued. “There are those who have not yet… forgiven my sister for the sins of Nightmare Moon. If she were to cause an incident, I fear it may cause ponies to turn on her and lead to the same downward spiral that originally gave rise to the Nightmare.”

Thomas stood fast before Celestia’s words. She spoke with the authority of a true ruler and the wisdom of centuries. How could he argue with anything she said? He turned his head to the sound of movement and saw Talon sliding off the bed, her face betraying no emotion as she watched him carefully. She was waiting for his response, as was Celestia. Under such pressure, the human could only offer one response.

“What if I help her?”

Celestia pulled back in surprise. “What did you say?”

“What if I helped her, like an assistant chef or something?” Thomas offered again. “I’m not much of a cook, but it’s not too hard to follow a recipe in a book.”

“You did hear me when I said she set the castle on fire while trying to boil water, right?”

Thomas gave a firm nod. “Then I guess she’ll just have to be careful.”

Celestia stared soberly down at the smaller human. She could tell he was fighting with all his might to stay standing under her glare. It would not be difficult for her to reduce him to a whimpering mess, as she had occasionally done to ponies too arrogant to get out of her way, but that didn’t apply here. Here was a creature, a stallion, a man, who was standing up to a deity for the sake of the mare he cared for. The Princess of the Sun had no choice but to give the human an approving smile and step aside, clearing his path to the door.

Surprised by Celestia giving no further argument, Thomas hesitated a moment before leaving the room. Moonlight and Talon followed shortly after, but kept a healthy distance. They’d be there to support him, and possibly evacuate him if things got hairy, but even they could tell that this was something he needed to do for himself.

The trek to the library was brisk and short. When they arrived, there was a contingent of guards already waiting outside and facing the door. The whole thing looked like a hostage situation, which, Thomas just realized, is what they probably thought Attentive Eye was.

“Sorry, sir,” a guard held out his hand to block Thomas. “There’s a… situation unfolding. You’d best stay back for your own protection.”

Thomas peeked over his shoulder to find Talon and Moonlight watching him expectantly. Turning back to the guard, Thomas put on his best serious face. “As Princess Luna’s Senior Concubine, Princess Celestia has asked me to act as negotiator on this matter.”

“I can confirm his orders,” Moonlight chimed in.

“Luna trusts me, so I’ve got the best chance of talking her out of anything… dangerous."

The guard gazed suspiciously between the unicorn and the human, but eventually accepted and stepped aside, letting the odd trio enter the library.

The inside of the library was as quiet as any other time he’d entered it. Few ponies had need of the library at night, meaning it was a good place for Thomas to get some peace and quiet. The assistant librarian at the front counter, Book Mark, a beige mare wearing nothing but a pink bow-tie, propped her head up on her hands as she looked up unenthusiastically at the intruders on her boredom.

“Hello,” Book Mark greeted with nasally disinterest. “Welcome to the Royal Canterlot Library. What can I do for you?”

“Have you seen Princess Luna?” Thomas inquired.

“Who?”

Thomas went slack jawed at the question. It was like the cogs in his brain had been temporarily jammed.

“Who?” Moonlight repeated, apparently in only slightly less dumbfounded than the human. “Did you seriously just ask who Luna, Princess and co-ruler of Equestria, is?”

“Don’t pay much mind to politics.” Book Mark’s nasally voice was really beginning to grate some nerves.

“The tall dark alicorn?” Talon offered hopefully.

“Oh her,” Book Mark finally realized and motioned to her right. “She asked for the books we had on cooking. Three rows down and four right.”

“Thanks,” Thomas nodded as he led the way past the assistant librarian.

“Any time, sir.”

They found the section on books quickly enough, which, conveniently enough, was right next to a set of tables. There Luna sat with her nose buried in a book and surrounded by several precariously stacked towers of books. Attentive Eye set her own book down and gestured towards the Princess, her eyes pleading for them to do something. Luna hadn’t even noticed them yet.

Nodding to Moonlight and Talon to confirm that they had his back if this went south, Thomas took a calming breath and put on his best smile. “Hey, Luna.”

“Hmm,” was Luna’s only response.

Thomas’ smile faded as he realized this might not be so easy. He walked up to her table and took a seat beside her. “Reading about cooking?”

“Nay,” Luna said into the book. “We are studying how to cook, but it is indeed a most intriguing read. How we have never come across such books before truly boggles the mind.”

“Yeah,” Thomas nodded nervously. “About that. Thing is, I just had a talk with Celestia.”

“About?” Luna asked the book.

“Well,” he hesitated, “about the fires that nearly burned down the…”

“Oh, she would go there!” Luna cut Thomas off with a slam of her book against the table, causing the others to jump. “What did all knowing Celestia say this time, hmm? Did our cooking somehow cause some great cataclysm that threatened to destroy all Equestria?”

Thomas furrowed his brow suspiciously. “Did it?”

Luna finally turned to face the human. “Not the point. Besides, that only happened the once,” she rationalized.

“Um, Celestia just mentioned the fires that threatened your old castle.”

“Ha!” Luna laughed indignantly. “Clearly thou hath fallen prey to sister’s gross exaggerations. Those fires barely spread past their respective wings in the old castle.” She folded her arms across her chest with a huff, looking very much like a pouting child.

Thomas surmised that she was preparing to be lectured and talked down to. No doubt that was how Celestia had addressed this in the past. Something about even thinking of her sister in this manner somehow brought out Luna’s inner child, or filly as the case may be. A lecture was the last thing she needed right now. Remembering how her feelings of loneliness and neglect had once driven her over the edge, Thomas realized that what she’d always needed was someone in her corner. It didn’t make sense why her previous lovers never helped her in this regard, but they weren’t here now. Now, there was only Thomas to try his own method. The human leaned against the alicorn and rested his head on her shoulder. He felt her relax at his touch as she looked down at him.

“Thomas?” Luna asked.

He reached out and took her hand in his own as he met her eyes. “You think you could make me a sammich?”

Luna’s entire body went rigid. “N-n-nopony has ever asked that o-of us.”

“Then I guess I’m on a roll for firsts,” Thomas smiled. “First human in Equestria, first concubine you had since coming back, and now the first one to ask you for a sandwich. Ain’t I lucky?”

Luna blinked repeatedly down at Thomas. Her lower lip trembled as her eyes began to glisten. She was on the verge of tears until Thomas gave her hand a firm squeeze.

“Hey now,” Thomas cooed, tightening his grip. “Don’t be like that. How about we head to the kitchen and I make you one too?”

“N-now?” Luna hesitated as she turned back to her books. “B-but I haven’t studied enough yet.”

“Hey there,” Thomas shook her hand reassuringly. “If Twilight Sparkle could vanquish an ursa minor without getting past the first chapter, I’m pretty sure the wise and benevolent Princess Luna can pull off a sandwich.”

Luna’s anxiety quickly faded as she leaned down and gave the human a kiss on the forehead. “I-if you insist.”

Thomas faced Talon and tilted his head in the direction of the door. She took his meaning and quickly departed. Once she was gone, Thomas stood from his seat and offered to help Luna up, which she accepted appreciatively. Moonlight assumed her formal position on step to Thomas’ left and three steps back. Although she didn’t fully understand what was going on, Attentive Eye stood and took her place to Luna’s left. The makeshift royal entourage made to depart the library.

“Have a *yawn* nice evening,” Book Mark sleepily waved them off.

When the entourage exited the library, all the guards that had garrisoned around the door had departed, much to Thomas’ approval. Luna didn’t need to see the steps Celestia had taken in preparation for some terrible disaster, and Talon had done a good job of removing all traces. Now the griffon just needed to run ahead and convince Celestia, and the guards she surely had around the kitchens, to let them pass. Wanting to give her as much time as possible, Thomas lead the way to the kitchens as slowly as he felt would not be suspicious.

“Dearest Thomas. Might there be a reason you are walking so slowly?”

Well that lasted real fucking long. “Are we going slow? I just thought we were walking at a comfortable pace. Why do you ask?”

Luna’s eyebrow rose. She clearly suspected something, but while she didn’t press the issue, she did not remain silent. “Dearest Thomas.”

“Yes, Luna?”

“While Tia was obviously exaggerating in her recounting of the past.”

“Obviously,” Thomas nodded along, but could tell by the tone of her voice that the truth was a lot closer than she was willing to admit.

“It does seem as though misfortune befalls us rather frequently when we endeavor in the culinary arts.”

“I’ve gotten that much, yes. Why?”

“Are… are you certain you’re entirely comfortable beside us while we cook?”

Thomas did not answer right away as he stared into Luna’s eyes. She was genuinely worried about something happening, just as Celestia had been. She’d been rather gung-ho earlier, but was now clearly having second thoughts as the notion of putting her human in danger became an increasingly apparent reality. “Remember when I told you I worked in a deli?”

“We do,” Luna nodded.

“I basically spent eight hours a day slapping pieces of meat and veggies onto bread and serving it up to people like I’d just done something worthwhile. It actually kinda made me laugh each time I got a compliment for making a custom order. People seemed genuinely impressed by watching me do what, to me, seemed like the most boring thing in the world. In a way, I kinda took pride in my work whenever I got a compliment or even when someone picked up one of my sandwiches off the shelf. That’s what you want, isn’t it, to be appreciated for your work?”

Luna’s eyes glistened once more, but blinked the tears away before they could properly form and nodded.

“I’m no master chef, but I can read the instructions on a book. At the very least I can show you how to slap random ingredients onto bread and call it food.”

Luna’s lips quivered as she struggled to maintain her composure.

They finally arrived at the kitchens in the Lunar Wing of the castle where they were greeted by a nervous Princess Celestia wearing a forced smile, a somewhat satisfied looking Talon, and only two lunar guards standing on either side of the door.

“Lulu,” Celestia greeted with open arms as she reached out to hug her sister. “How are you doing this fine evening?”

“Sister,” Luna acknowledged sternly, returning the most minimal hug. “Interesting to see you… here… outside the kitchens… as if you’re standing guard.”

“Whaaaaaat?” Celestia gasped in faux surprise. “Me, standing guard? Oh the silly ideas you come up with.” Celestia’s smile briefly faded as she reconsidered her choice of words. “I just heard that you were cooking again. It’s been such a long time that I just, you know, thought I’d watch.”

Luna narrowed her eyes on her sister, who fidgeted under the weight of the Night Princess’ glare. “You are free to do as you wish.” She grabbed hold of Thomas’ arm and yanked him forward. “My concubine has volunteered to make sandwiches with us.”

“S-sandwiches?” Celestia asked.

“Yes. Sandwiches. Why?”

“So… no fires?”

Luna looked to Thomas who shook his head. “No fires. Dearest Thomas should know because he used to make such dishes for a living. He’s a professional,” she added proudly, exaggerating the last word.

“I…” Celestia brightened up. “I look forward to seeing what you make.”

Luna tilted her head in a nod and pulled Thomas into the kitchen. They were greeted by a chef who lead the way to an area that had been cleared especially for them. There was a refrigerator, stove, a large counter, a sink, and the walls were adorned with an assortment of knives, spoons, tongs, and other cooking instruments. The chef directed them to the cabinets above and beneath the counter which held bowls, pans, and tin cans. Then he opened the refrigerator to reveal a wide variety of foods, most of which were fruits and vegetables.

“Got any bread?” Thomas asked. Before he finished the last syllable, several assistant chefs had spawned out of the ether beside him, each baring armfuls of various kinds of bread loaves wrapped in plastic. After recovering from his surprise, Thomas looked to Luna. “What kind of bread would you like for yours?”

Luna pondered a moment. “Wheat. No! That one with the strawberry swirl,” she pointed.

Before the assistant chef could offer the Princess what she’d asked for, Thomas stepped between them and took a single loaf. He looked back at Luna. “I’ll just have white.” When no one made a move, Thomas gestured to the pony holding the white bread until Luna caught on and also took a loaf. She eyed the packaged bread carefully, holding it out away from her like it would explode any minute.

“Come on,” Thomas motioned to the counter, where a stool had already been set. Luna rushed to his side. Realizing that Luna was watching his movement carefully, Thomas figured a bit of narration would be of use. “First thing we need to do is wash our hands.” He took the lead at the sink and washed his hands. Luna, unable to help herself, came up from behind and reached out past him, smothering his head in her breasts. It was nice that she felt calm enough to tease him like this. “Next we open the bag.” slowly he undid the opening of the bag as Luna mirrored his movements. “Good,” he nodded as he removed two of the pre-sliced bread pieces. “The bags are opened and it looks like someone’s done us the favor of slicing the bread for us.”

“H-how n-nice of them,” Luna commented nervously. “S-so… w-what now?”

“Next we need to set out the ingredients; otherwise we’ll just have plain bread.”

“Of course!” Luna proclaimed with a forced laugh. “A proper sandwich is nothing without proper ingredients. Where are they?” She looked around the counter excitedly.

“We haven’t gotten them yet,” Thomas answered.

“Oh… of course we haven’t,” Luna recovered from her embarrassment quickly. “What sort of ingredients will we need, exactly?”

“That depends on what kind of sandwiches we want to make. What are you in the mood for?”

“I…” Luna’s face contorted as she pondered the question intensely.

Thomas grimaced as he watched Luna puzzle over the question. He glanced over his shoulder to spot Celestia sitting beside the door, fidgeting anxiously as she watched them both. Even the chefs had sensed her anxiety and were sneaking worried glances at him and Luna. The human was grateful that his Princess was too preoccupied with her own thoughts to notice her surroundings, but the thought of her reaction once she saw everyone watching her, just waiting for her to fail, made his stomach turn.

“Daisies,” Thomas blurted, startling Luna from her thoughts.

“D-daisies?”

“Isn’t that what you had back at that restaurant? Daisies and some other flowers.”

“Carnations and lilacs,” Luna reminded.

“Would the Princess like a daisy, carnation, and lilac sandwich?”

“She would,” Luna beamed. “And what would the… consort like?” she gestured elaborately.

Thomas smiled back, partially in appreciation for Luna’s lifted spirits, but mostly at the wicked idea forming in his head. “The Princess’ royal buck buddy would like a peanut butter and jelly.”

The kitchen resounded with snickering chefs and a tinge of pink touched Luna’s cheeks. She glanced around the room, and then leered down at Thomas. “Thou art playing a most dangerous game, little human.”

“Am I?” Thomas asked playfully. “I thought I was just telling the truth. Since when is being honest considered a game?”

Luna’s angered leer intensified until it suddenly fizzled into a grin. She nodded gratefully at Thomas for easing her nerves. “Very well. Then shall we fetch the ingredients?”

Thomas nodded and reached up to the cabinet above the counter, but it was just out of his reach, so Luna volunteered to open it for him, smirking teasingly down at him. Thomas leered at her briefly before letting out an exasperated sigh. “Could you pull those down?” He pointed at the three ceramic vases holding the flowers he desired. Luna did as he bid, then stood motionless, patiently waiting for further instruction.

“Do you remember where the peanut butter is?” Thomas asked.

Luna gave a firm nod as she crouched down to the cabinets beneath her where she remembered seeing the desired jar. As she did, Thomas couldn’t help but stare as her butt jutted out, her tail waving around excitedly. Luna leaned in deeper into the cabinet, arching her back and making her butt protrude even more, her dress conforming to its supple outline. The damn thing waved casually from side to side, hypnotizing enchanting, just begging for some sort of attention.

“Like what you see?”

Thomas was shocked from his fantasies as he tore his eyes from the magnificent royal lunar backside to fine a seductive and teasing smirk upon the enchanting royal lunar face. His surprise quickly shifted to annoyance. “You did that on purpose, didn’t you?”

“Mwa?” Luna touched her finger to her chin innocently. “Is it really our fault that you have a seemingly obsessive fascination with our glorious rump?” She gave her rear a slight roll for emphasis.

“Yes. Yes it is,” Thomas deadpanned.

“Fair enough,” Luna shrugged in agreement as she stood back to her full height, only to hold her hand up high to show off her prize. “Behold, the butter of peanuts!”

Just then Thomas could have sworn he heard a familiar triumphant musical score as an opossum danced excitedly around Luna https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vuJPTUlVqIo He blinked and the vision was gone, but new thoughts came to light. If this really is an alternate reality, then is there a Tiberius here?

Shaking his head free of distractions, Thomas focused his sight on the peanut butter Luna had set on the counter. “Good. And now the jelly.”

Luna sashayed over to the refrigerator, but didn’t reach out for the handle. Instead she looked over at Thomas with a shit-eating-grin. “What’s the magic word?”

Thomas groaned before forcing a smile. “May I please have some strawberry jelly?”

“That you may.” Luna opened the refrigerator and quickly extracted her target, thankfully without putting on a show this time. She set her ingredients out on the counter, eyeing them carefully before looking over at Thomas’ area. “What now?”

“Would you like any condiments?” Thomas asked. “Cheese? Mustard? I’ve seen you eat meat a couple times.”

“Some Swiss would be lovely, thank you. Also some butter. And you?”

“Nah,” Thomas dismissed as he found the desired cheese and tub of butter. “PB&J is just fine on its own.” He set out the cheese beside the vases. “Alright then. Now that we have our ingredients, what should we do next?”

Luna’s breathing hitched, clearly not expecting to be asked. “I, um, think we should, um, put the sandwich together?”

“Alright,” Thomas nodded. “And how will you get the jelly from the jar onto the bread?”

“Um… well first the jar must be opened, yes?”

“Yeah. But how will you get the jelly from the jar onto the bread?”

Luna paused in consideration. Coincidentally, one of the magical lamps just over her head flickered and brightened just as her face lit up in realization. “With a utensil!”

“That’s the way,” Thomas nodded approvingly. “Good girl. Does someone want a treat?”

Luna’s enthusiasm as she contemplated his wording and its connotations. “Funny,” she deadpanned.

“Happy to help,” Thomas agreed. “There are some smaller knives in the drawers.”

“Knives?” Celestia asked, garnering attention from the human and other alicorn. She had moved as if to stand, but under their gaze, relaxed back into her chair. “N-never mind me. Please continue,” she gestured.

Celestia’s uneasiness was apparently contagious as Luna reached out with a very shaky hand for the large knives on the wall.

“Wait,” Thomas said gently, but Luna still froze in fear. “There are some drawers right there,” he pointed. “You can get a smaller knife there, or maybe a spoon if you’re more comfortable with that.”

“O-of course,” Luna nodded with a relieved sigh. She opened the drawer and, after careful consideration, pulled out a pair of spoons, handing one to Thomas. “N-now what?”

Thomas nodded wordlessly and opened the tub of butter, motioning with his eyes for Luna to do the same with her own jars. Taking the spoon in hand, Thomas extracted a moderately sized scoop of the yellow substance while Luna did the same with the jelly. “Now just smear it out across the bread,” he instructed as he spread the butter out across the strawberry swirl bread.

With much trepidation, Luna did the same with the jelly and white bread. As the red goop spread out across its plain surface, all without spontaneously combusting, Luna smiled ecstatically at her accomplishment.

“Good,” Thomas nodded. “That’s probably enough. Now you’ll want to get another spoon for the peanut butter.”

“Why another spoon? This one has proved most adequate,” she held out the metal instrument.

“It’s a cleanliness thing,” Thomas explained. “The only place more obsessed with keeping things cleaner than the kitchens is a hospital. You never know who might be eating your food or what kind of allergies they might have, so it’s important to avoid cross contamination. Really, we should have probably been wearing gloves this whole time. In fact…” before Thomas could continue, a wooden bowl seemed to materialize out of nowhere just outside his peripheral vision. He looked around quickly, but none of the chefs seemed to have moved. “In fact, we’ll use this bowl to hold our dirty dishes. It’ll save effort on cleaning later.”

“I see,” Luna nodded acceptingly as she set the dirty spoon in the bowl and reached out for a replacement. “Is this the rule for all kitchens?”

“It probably should be,” Thomas mused as he plucked one of the carnations from the vase. “That’s how it goes with professional kitchens, but households tend to be less informal. There you know exactly who’s going to be eating what, so you don’t have to be so cautious.”

“Interesting,” Luna nodded in contemplation as she opened the jar to the peanut butter and repeated her actions upon the bare piece of bread, all under Thomas’ careful watch. She glanced briefly at the human who turned back to his own work in embarrassment. However, her gaze lingered as she flickered her eyelids dreamily. There was simply no ignoring how much fun she was having right now. Not only was she finally indulging in her lifelong dream, all without starting any fires, but she was doing so under the watch of a lover.

Unlike Celestia, who would always insist on taking over the moment it looked like she was having any trouble, Thomas had kept a respectful distance. He instructed and lead by example, but had insisted on her doing all her own work. Luna could not fault Celestia for letting her big sister impulses take hold, but it always hurt a little when she was robbed of the opportunity to be more independent. Even her past lovers, upon hearing the stories, were wary around her in the kitchen. However, after hearing those same stories, Thomas looked upon her no differently than he ever did. They were interacting exactly the same as they had always done.

There was only one real thing that made this scenario different from any other. As teacher, Thomas had taken the more dominant role with how he told her what to do. None of her past lovers would ever doubt Luna’s desire to be dominant in the relationship, especially in bed. But at the same time, to have another turn the tables and make her the sub for once, especially one so small and usually meek as Thomas, was an undeniable turn on. This matter would be explored later. Until then…

“The informality comes from familiarity,” Luna mused romantically. “Just as a pony might erect barriers and facades while interacting in public, but be much more open with friends and family members.”

“I don’t think it would take too much work to make that into a nice poem,” Thomas commented as he folded and stacked the flowers in a manner that appeared aesthetically pleasing.

“Do you intend to accomplish something with such blatant flattery?” Luna asked teasingly as she finished applying a sufficient amount of peanut butter.

“Is the sexiest alicorn in all Equestria happy?”

“Hey!” Celestia whined.

Luna guffawed at her sister’s displeasure. It was like delicious icing on the already delectably cheesy cake of her lover’s sappy line. Her contagious laughter soon spread to the human in question. And watching them have such fun, Celestia couldn’t help but join in.

Once he’d recovered, Thomas looked at the results of both their hard work and smiled in satisfaction. “Never made a flower sandwich before, but I think this looks pretty good,” he gestured to the stack of flowers before him. “And for someone, er, pony who’s never made a sandwich period…” he eyed her work judgmentally.

“W-what?”

Thomas beamed up at her. “Well I’d eat it.”

Luna’s face scrunched up in faux annoyance at his comment, but really that was the best thing she could have hoped to hear. “In that case, shall we?”

The two pressed their breads together with a soft squelching sound as their ingredients were crushed slightly. Setting them back on the counter, they nudged their sandwiches over to the other party. Exchanging proud synchronized nods, both picked up their meals, held them cautiously in front of their faces, and took their first bites.

“Look out!”

“What in Tartarus is that!?”

“GRAAAAAAAACK!!!”

Mouths full, Thomas and Luna snapped to attention and looked over to the right side of the kitchen. A giant octopus tentacle had reached out of a boiling pot and was swinging wildly at the chefs.

“Seershry!?” Thomas exclaimed angrily before swallowing. “How the hell did that even happen!?”

The next half hour was taken up by the Princesses engaging in epic battle with the spontaneously spawning tentacle monster. There were even moments that could have been called erotic, had they not been so life threatening. Investigations would later reveal that the chefs who had been making that particular stew had been so enraptured with Thomas and Luna that they accidentally added a number of ingredients, magical ingredients, that were never ever ever ever meant to go together. In the calm that followed the mini war, Thomas sat beside Luna and finished his sandwich, which he’d somehow managed to hold onto throughout the ordeal.

“It was good,” he smiled, only to have the wind knocked out of him by a sudden Luna glomp.

From that day forward, it was decided that Luna would use the hour that had been dedicated to speech lessons to now preoccupy herself with cooking lessons. Thomas’ presence was mandatory. After everything had been settled, Thomas turned to Attentive Eye and inquired if a Silver Bell was applying for a position in the night court staff and if the secretary might give the bat pony some extra consideration. As he did so, he did not see Luna’s ears stand high and eyes bulge, nor did he see the Princess nod insistently for Attentive Eye to accept the request.

Thomas shows his love and support for Luna, even giving her a certain sense of empowerment, by telling her to get in the kitchen and make him a sammich. Isn’t love just magical? Sounds like the title of one of those joke fics, if you ask me. In fact, I almost went with something generic like The Hazards of Cooking, but I figured this would be more fun.

Throughout these last couple entries I was wondering if all this felt a little forced, as if Luna could have really gone all this time without realizing her lack of simple cooking skills could be resolved so easily. But then I remembered that this sort of thing is rather common in a bunch of other fim-fics I’ve read. Plus it was for the sake of Thomas doing something for Luna that wasn’t any kind of concession or adjustment. He helped her do a thing she wanted to do and they had fun doing it together, up until the tentacle monster showed up, but you know how it goes.