Horse People Go Naked
Chapter 154: Chapter 153: Mares Shopping for Skirts
Previous Chapter Next Chapter“I feel somewhat anxious,” Silver admitted as they walked down the aisles, perusing the shelves and clothes displays.
“About what?” asked Blue Sapphire.
Silver pulled a red dress from a stand and turned it around for examination a second before replacing it. “I am not sure. I suppose it just occurred to me that we do not hang out much by ourselves. Well, outside of my on-call duties, that is,” she added with a wry grin and a flirtatious wink.
“Agreed. That is why I proposed this outing. You and I need more private bonding time.”
Silver chuckled and opened her mouth to retort.
“Bonding outside the bedroom,” Blue amended. “There are other ways to be intimate, you know.”
“Ah, well, fair enough,” Silver conceded as she idly appraised the blue mare beside her. “Your proportions are somewhat smaller compared to your usual figure. Is this how high-level casters try different outfits?”
“Something like that. Do you like it?”
Silver chuckled. “You know I prefer your full glory, but this is fine. Although, I am now imagining the staff’s faces when you take something for your real size into the changing room, and it still fits.”
Blue also giggled. “Yes, that will be amusing, but I must press the issue.” She stopped and turned around, angling her body to emphasize different areas. “I may be going through a self-conscious phase about my body.”
“You?” Silver almost laughed, but stopped to be supportive. “A literal goddess, the standard by which our society measures beauty, is worried about her body?”
“That’s why I’m worried,” Blue admitted. “Do I come off as intimidating? Sometimes I fear I might be too sexy, and that ponies don’t feel free to honestly express themselves around me.”
It was growing increasingly difficult for Silver not to snicker. “My dearest, Blue, if it makes you feel better, I feel free to honestly express how annoyed I am right now.”
Blue furrowed her brow.
“I apologize, but what you said is almost the embodiment of rich pony problems. You look too pretty, your magic is too powerful, ponies are too intimidated by your wealth and status. I am sorry, but I simply cannot relate, as I am too busy imagining what I would do with curves like yours.”
Blue frowned. “You’re right. I’m being silly.”
“Correct, which means you are not intimidating,” Silver pointed out. “You see what I’m getting at? It is the attitude that truly sets the tone.”
“Hmm, you may be onto something,” Blue allowed as she bent over to investigate something. “This was not a concern before my banishment. Centuries ago, ponies were meant to bow and submit. These days, however, sister has cultivated a culture of approachability. And I am compelled to abide, lest I be known as the unapproachable Princess.” Blue then held up two pairs of knee-length socks. The left was gray with black stripes, while the other was solid orange. “What do you think of these? Could the right outfit help create a better first impression?”
Silver pursed her lips in thought. “The orange is too much of a tacky contrast with your fur. And are we talking about while you are on the throne or during more casual outings?”
“I sense the latter would be preferable.”
“Indeed. A Princess wearing socks on a throne makes me think you were negligent when you got out of bed. That is definitely not the right message you want to send. If it is for something more informal, such as a party or a light-hearted event where you just need to be seen. Then socks might be more appropriate. Although, honestly, I am surprised you do not already have a royal fashion counselor to tell you these things.”
“‘Tia does. However, she explained that her advisor could be a little… much. Choosing the right hat can often devolve into a heated debate where both parties have starkly different ideas of how to achieve the desired result. Objects are thrown,” Blue ominously added as she replaced the orange socks and rotated through alternatives. “I think it best that I develop a sense of modern fashions away from the so-called experts, that I am better able to contend with their assertions.”
“So, you are using me to figure out what the common pony likes?” Silver asked with a cheeky grin, happy to be of service.
“It’s more like I trust you to manage your Princess’ reputation as a fashion-forward mare.”
Silver’s grin fell with the weight of her lover’s words. “… Oh.”
“Indeed,” Blue confirmed, now sporting the cheeky grin. “Also, the Grand Galloping Gala is approaching, and I want to ensure you have something nice.”
“My dearest, Blue. I assure you there is nothing to worry about, as I have several fine dresses meant for any occasion.”
Blue nodded as her stare grew more intense. “Yes, but are you confident they’re fit for the Gala?”
Silver blinked and pursed her lips under Blue’s withering gaze. “Well, now, I am not.” She huffed and crossed her arms. “You should have told me that part before we left. I would have happily modeled for you, and we could have checked if my current dresses were up to your standards.”
“‘Tis not my standards, dearest Silver. The Gala has garnered quite the reputation as the place for high-class ponies to be seen. We’ll need something fetching, but also not too restrictive. We wouldn’t want to impair your movements in case of an emergency.”
“What kind of emergency?”
“Oh, I thought you were aware of the Gala’s curse. Every year, every security measure is taken, yet somehow, everything always ends in an utter catastrophe. ‘Tis grand!” she cheered.
Silver blinked. “That is not just a rumor?”
“Not according to ‘Tia,” Blue explained with an impish grin. “Though, I would have thought Thomas had already told you this year would be particularly climactic, thanks to the Elements.”
“I thought the Elements were supposed to maintain harmony, not disrupt it.”
“Against genuine threats, yes. However, you’ve met them. You must have some idea how eccentric they can be. Apparently, Fluttershy, the quiet and sweet one, shall cause a stampede of creatures unaccustomed to her overly affectionate ways.” Blue shivered in anticipation. “I cannot wait.”
Silver thoughtfully frowned. “So, what we are really doing is looking for dresses that are nice, but stretchy and durable because of the predicted disaster.”
“I prefer climactic excitement, but yes,” Blue confirmed as she led the way to the skirts. “Hmm, these always struck me as peculiar.”
“Skirts? I’ve seen you wear skirts before.”
“Yes, but look at the length.” Blue indicated a skirt sized for her glamour’s figure and held it to her waist. “This is little more than a belt that will lift the moment I raise my knee more than an inch. I don’t see the point. Unless… is it trying to be alluring? Is the idea to tease onlookers with what lies beneath?”
Silver clucked her tongue. “I suppose that could make sense. Though, the design seems a little too plain for something meant to be sexy.” She looked around until she pointed at a sign over the lingerie section. The panties were off-white with fluffy frills. “Now that is trying to be sexy.” She grinned as she imagined her Princess modeling in each displayed design.
Luna nodded and resumed scanning the skirts. “Nothing here seems so elaborate. Is this style something new?”
“This is probably where you would want the expert’s advice,” Silver admitted and joined her fellow shopper. “I think this more closely resembles business casual, at least in color and general design. However, I must consider your point. This thing is just waiting to lift under even moderate movement. It is like raising the tail, but in front. I cannot fathom what the designers were going for, but a business office seems like the last place for this kind of ambiguous flirting.”
“I see. Then, perhaps it might work on the throne?”
“I beg your pardon, what?”
“Most of my formal dresses fall below the knee, or have cuts for a loin flap. Either covers my marehood, but what would you say to something that draws attention instead?”
“I would say you are sending the worst kind of message to ponies when they’re supposed to be looking to you to solve their problems. If I saw my Princess wearing that on the throne”—she gestured at the skirt in disgust—“I would think she was fishing for a booty call rather than listening to matters of state.”
“Yes, perhaps, but you must admit, it is quite approachable,” Blue reasoned. “Instead of the crown, the decorations, the throne, or even my sheer size, ponies’ eyes will be drawn down, between my legs, to see my most welcoming feature.”
Silver frowned. “I think you might be misunderstanding the definition of welcoming.”
“Oh, how so?”
“For one, I am fairly certain the others would agree that your teats and plot are more welcoming. I know that is where I would rather rest my head,” Silver explained. “For another, there is simply no way the royal court is even remotely appropriate for that kind of attention. It is just… not.”
“I’m afraid I will only accept coherent arguments,” Blue informed.
“Would you bend over and lift your tail in court?”
“That depends. Are such things acceptable these days?”
Silver was flabbergasted that her Princess would even ask that. She knew that Luna still stumbled with more nuanced features of modern culture. However, it boggled the mind that the ancient and wizened mare could be this oblivious. It had to be a mistake. There had to be some kind of miscommunication somewhere. And as Luna’s loyal servant, lover, and friend, Silver was honor-bound to correct this egregious oversight before the poor goddess embarrassed herself. Then she heard a mare snickering. She looked up from her deep thought to find Blue facing away with a hand over her mouth in a vain attempt to repress her chortles. Silver’s eyes narrowed. “You are terrible.”
“F-forgive me-he-he,” Blue giggled. “I c-I couldn’t help m-mys-s-self.” She pulled further away and tried to compose herself.
Silver maintained her condemning glower for as long as possible. Finally, however, her lover’s insufferably infectious laughter quickly took its toll, and her frown broke into a grin as she valiantly fought the oncoming giggles.
“Ah, that was refreshing,” Blue sighed in contentment as she finally resumed facing the gray mare. Seeing Silver continue to struggle, she wrapped an arm around the shorter mare and pulled her into a half hug. The bat mare’s tension almost immediately evaporated as she reflexively nuzzled into the big mare’s touch. “You are too serious.”
“I have tried to lighten up,” Silver apologetically replied. “But the thought of all those ponies looking at you like that…”
“You’re aware I have posed for magazine covers, yes?”
“Yes, but this is different, and you know it. These”—Silver resentfully gestured to the short skirts—“are most unbecoming of a Princess.”
“What if I bought some for the harem’s exclusive use?”
Silver needed a second to think. “That is not fair.”
“Who said a Princess has to be fair all the time?”
“Everypony. Everypony believes that.”
“But you know better, I hope,” Blue added with a shit-eating grin.
“If you care so much about being approachable, well, I think it is working,” Silver fumed with her face half-buried in the larger mare’s breast. “I feel like approaching you, but with a lasso so I can wrestle you down and put you in your place.”
Blue snorted a surprised laugh. “You think you can?”
“Honey has given me lessons, so I can try.” Then, in a husky and sensual voice, Silver threatened, “Do you doubt me?”
Blue snapped her thighs together and narrowly turned her body in time, so her invisible wing-boner didn’t hit anything. However, Silver’s smirk showed she’d felt the wind gust. “Now look who’s terrible.” She then grinned and lowered her snout to affectionately nuzzle Silver. It was a wordless promise that they’d postpone any overly exerting activities. For now, their shopping had barely begun.
Finally, the pair found their way to the changing rooms, each with an armful of selections.
“Are you sure you want those?” Silver asked as she eyed Blue’s clothes. “Speaking as somepony intimately familiar with your measurements, those will not fit.”
“It’s fine. I can have the royal tailor make adjustments. For now, I just want to see if they look good on me.”
“But that is not your body. It would be more like a size down from Honey if she were a unicorn.
“Are you saying this because you want me to return to my true shape so you may watch my figure expand?” Blue teased.
Silver blinked. “That is beside the point. You need to pick clothes that best fit your figure. At least get the proportions right. Otherwise, you are just making more work for everypony involved, including yourself.”
“It’s fine. You underestimate the royal tailors,” Blue dismissively said as she stepped into the stall and closed the door. “Now, hurry and try yours on. I want to see that red dress.”
Silver sighed in resignation and did as she was told. She’d done her duty and said her piece. The rest was on Luna. However, as she slipped into the proposed dress, a thought occurred. “Why are these stalls closed? What are we hiding from?”
“I think hiding the dressing process helps build anticipation.”
“Ah, I suppose that makes sense,” Silver allowed. “You know, it occurs to me that much of our culture centers on this kind of teasing. You hide something just enough to build interest, but are tactical with displays.”
“Hmm, I think you’re right. It’s like the skirt.”
“There is nothing tactical about that belt, but yes.”
Blue giggled. “I just imagined if your old self could see you now.”
“Am I different? I do not feel different.”
“You are. Just think about yourself when we first met. How would that mare react if she heard you talking down to me as though she knew better.”
Silver snickered. “Okay, that is quite funny. However, in present me’s defense, having a worshipful moon does not automatically make you an expert in all fields.” Silver blinked and considered her words. “Oh, my stars, I have changed.”
“For the better, I should say. You’re much more fun this way, and I love when you bring out your more assertive side. Okay, I’m coming out.”
“As am I.”
The mares stepped into the hall between the stalls and the main store and gazed upon each other. Blue wore cyan socks with horizontal white stripes and pink stars, giving off a youthful vibe. Her dress was strapless, knee-length, and jungle green, hugging her body in a way that left little to the imagination. Silver’s crimson red gown hung down to her ankles, and the skirt had a slip on the side to allow more leg freedom. The straps were spaghetti strings, and the top clung to her chest enough to reveal a tasteful amount of cleavage.
“So, how do I look?” Blue asked as she did a little spin to show all sides of her body.
Silver frowned. “The dress looks good, but only on that body. Furthermore, are you even wearing that dress?” She craned her neck to look into Blue’s stall, only to find the dress still on its hanger and the socks laid out over a chair.
“I added them to my glamour,” Blue said, still turning and striking different poses. “Hmm, but I suppose you have a point. I’m not sure this shade of green works for me.” She then looked up. “But I like yours.”
“Really? I was uncertain about the straps.” Silver huffed as she cupped her breasts and rolled them in her dress. “And I cannot say I am fond of how it clings to my chest.”
“Well, style is all well and good, but I think you’d rather be comfortable in case you have to, for example, flee from a giant ice sculpture falling on you.”
Silver fixed Blue with a look. “Surely, you jest.”
Blue gave a shit-eating grin. “You’ll see soon enough.”
Silver looked back down at how the dress hugged her figure, particularly her cleavage. “In that case, I may want to try something less constrictive. Not to sound crass, but something that shows more fur.”
“Agreed. You have such a nice figure. It would be a shame not to show off.”
Silver chuckled. “Nice? My figure could fit inside yours.”
“Is that an invitation?” Blue asked with a suggestive eyebrow wiggle.
Silver had to turn away to maintain her composure against her lover’s silly display. Sometimes, it could be trying to love everything about a person. “Keep your tail down. You know what I mean.”
“Yes, but that makes it no less fun.” Blue came up behind Silver and rested her chin on the shorter mare’s shoulder. Their cheeks were close enough that their fur barely brushed together, and Blue could tell Silver was dangerously close to initiating a nuzzle. “Although, now you have me curious. What do you think crossed my mind when you said ‘inside?’ What level of depravity did you attribute to the divine matron of your tribe? Tell me, my loyal subject,” she whispered into Silver’s ear. “What do you think I want to do to you right now?”
Silver was trying very hard to keep still and not look like someone had set her vibration on high. But unfortunately, she wasn’t doing a great job. Her body trembled from the big mare’s proximity. Her breath was sweet with pancake syrup, and her warm exhales tickled the fur on Silver’s face. The glamour didn’t show it, but the mare’s titanic teats pressed firmly into her shorter counterpart’s back, threatening to pull her in and devour her. And then there were her words. Luna’s magic had already allowed the harem to explore several interpretations of ‘inside,’ but Silver knew there was more her goddess wanted to try. Or maybe she wanted to return to something they’d already tried, but with some new twist.
As much as the others loved Luna and enjoyed indulging in her peculiar requests, Silver liked to think that she was the most willing to try anything, no matter how bizarre. She also liked to think this made her special in Luna’s eyes. The last time the goddess explained an unorthodox idea she wanted to try, her eyes immediately fell on Silver. She knew the bat mare needed little provocation to jump headlong into whatever crazy scheme the alicorn had cooked up, and Silver prided herself on that. The bat mare was utterly devoted to her beloved goddess, and even if equal standing between them was impossible, Silver didn’t mind. She’d do anything to make her lover happy, which, in some cases, meant giving her what she needed rather than what she wanted.
“If you make me cause a scene in a public setting, I will have Moonlight cast a spell to numb my tongue for every session for the next week,” Silver coldly threatened.
Blue’s poker face was an unflinching smile, and she betrayed no signs of tension. “You wouldn’t dare.”
“I would not trust myself to restrain from your marehood, but I would trust Moonlight to help me put you in your place,” Silver said, focusing with all her might on a single glove left behind on a hook on the far wall.
“My place?” Blue questioned, her tone warning.
“Yes. It is my job to keep your urges in check so you do not shame yourself and give ponies an excuse to think less of you. That includes resisting your efforts to provoke me into ravaging your body where others may see. I am quite literally paid—to borrow from Thomas’ memes—to throw you in horny jail.” Silver’s voice was steady and authoritative. Just from hearing her, one would never suspect her knees were rattling, and her pits were dank with sweat.
Meanwhile, Blue’s poker face endured. She was aware of Silver’s smelly pits and more, but showed no sign of noticing. Instead, she rose to her full height and noted the almost instant drop in tension in Silver’s muscles. “Very good, Silver Bell. You are, indeed, a worthy concubine who understands her role. It’s your job to keep me from making a fool of myself, no matter how much fun it may seem. So, out of respect, I shall refrain from making any mention of my attraction regarding your assertiveness.”
Silver’s mouth felt dry as she swallowed and carefully spread her wings to fan herself. “Th-that is most appreciated. Thank you.”
“With that said…” Blue trailed off for a moment. Her tone was suggestive, and the glint in her eyes was frighteningly mischievous. “Would you like to make a stop at the little filly’s room?”
Much to the pair’s surprise, Silver did not bolt away from the stalls to the nearest bathroom. She wanted to, but that would undo everything she’d accomplished. Instead, she calmly turned around and stared impassively at the gorgeous mare hidden behind the okay-looking disguise. “After you.”
Later that day, the store received an anonymous donation that mysteriously matched the cost of replacing a destroyed toilet. The poor porcelain throne looked like some careless earth pony had used the thing for tap-dancing practice. Luckily, the donation also included a can of industrial-strength odor remover, which was arguably even more crucial. The store had to briefly quarantine the bathroom after the first few ponies who entered had to run halfway across the store to relieve themselves in a different bathroom. Unrelatedly, two mares of differing heights purchased a few comfortable yet fashionable dresses. The taller mare looked cool as a cucumber, but her shorter friend kept glancing over her shoulder as though she guiltily expected to be called out for something.