“Buck you, Timespire!” I shout at the top of my lungs.

I normally hate the rotten bastard, but this is a new low even for him. Timespire and Mindsink know that my mom is going to be set free soon, and they’re doing everything in their power to ruffle my feathers about it. I don’t even care that she’s leaving, I was nothing to her and she’s just the same to me. However, these two seem to think we care for each other or something. I think it’s the implications of their words that pisses me off worse than what is actually being said.

“I think you made little Nighttide mad, Timespire.” Mindsink says from the other side of me. I hear him, but I don’t take my eyes off Timespire. However bad Mindsink might be, Timespire is worse.

“I think you’re right, brother,” Timespire replies with an evil grin on his face. I can feel it; I can feel his eyes glaring into my soul. I stand up straight and tall, I know they’re not really equine, I might be, but I’m not one-hundred percent sure. That doesn’t change the fact that I’m bigger than them. At my full height I’m almost equal to my father’s size, almost.

Given, I’ll never have his bulk, but there’s something instinctually fearful about facing a bigger opponent. Neither of the brothers shows such fear now. I knew they wouldn’t, but it makes me feel superior anyway.

“Looks like she wants to play,” Mindsink says.

“I think you’re right,” Timespire agrees.

“Bring it,” I say back with a smile. “I kicked your flank all over the moon last time we spared, Timespire. My skills have not grown rusty.”

I smile and close my eyes. Eyes are worthless right now, they’re for seeing light. We exist in the shadows, not the light. Already I can feel my taunt working as I intended. Their objective is to simply goad me, to cause me to make a stupid move.

It’s a good plan, one I can easily co-opt for myself. Timespire comes at me seconds before Mindsink does. I can feel it, his rage, and his anger. It’s easy to tell he’s still pissed about the last time I beat him. They have a relatively good strategy, pincer attacks are a bitch to defend against.

Well… unless you happen to be Nightmare Moon’s daughter. A little factoid they keep forgetting about.

I don’t mind giving them another reminder. After all, a girl’s gotta have some fun.

At the last possible second I shift my body into smoke, laughter escapes me as they collide into each other, their bumbling forms impacting against each other with an ‘umph’.

There’s just one thing I hate about this. Both of them are technically inside of me. The thought is rather repulsive, but sacrifices must be made. After all, all victory comes at a cost. My father taught me that much.

I reform right behind Timespire and kick out with my back hooves. There’s a rather satisfying crunching noise as I feel my hooves make impact with his nuts. I laugh at his pain, I laugh at the agony he’s in. I know I can’t do any real damage, as he’ll just heal everything, but the injury to his pride will be more than enough.

“I’ll kill you!” Mindsink spits the words out as he sees what I did to his brother.

“Will you?” I hold my head up high and stare down my nose at him. Their one advantage is teamwork. Something I broke when I kicked Timespire in the balls.

“Get her,” Timespire grunts, I can still see he’s a threat, although that’s only because of his rage.

Rage has a way of backfiring and I can think of one suc-

Pain… a lot of pain. It’s shooting down my back and stomach. I look down to see a smoking hole in the ground below me. I’m bleeding, How… how did this happen? Mindsink has a shit-eating grin on his face as he looks at me. I look down my back and confirm what I already know; I was just shot in the back.

My gaze follows the rock wall behind me. I see my attacker up on a ledge. While I can’t make out her full form, I don’t need to. With the white of her fangs and her teal eyes staring at me, it could be no one else. She’s grinning at me, judging me, and laughing at me all at the same time.

“Didn’t I teach you to be wary of unexpected attacks, dear daughter? I guess you didn’t take my lesson to heart. I’m sure your uncles will be more than willing to teach it to you as many times as you need. Mindsink, Timespire, make it stick this time.”

I feel my knees buckle and I fall to the floor. I’m already healing but the damage I took is not what scares me.

“Pretty, pretty feathers.”

I look back to see Mindsink glaring at me. The look in his eye speaks of the damage he wants to cause. A shadow spear forms in the ground as he starts walking to my right wing.

“I’m going to carve my name into your flesh,” Timespire growls as he makes his way back to his hooves. That’s what scares me.

“Let me take her feathers. She won’t miss them,” Mindsink smiles evilly at me as his spear shoots up into my wing, forcing it to stay in place as he walks closer.

The pain shoots through my wing. I know he made it to hurt, I know his spear sent barbs of its own along the veins running the length of my wing, but I know not to scream, not this early. It would only encourage them at this point.

“Who say’s we both can’t have our fun at the same time, brother?” Timespire growls as he stumbles over. His own magic is already starting to go to work. I can see rocks growing and shrinking next to me. He’s forcing them to rub together. He… he wants to create a fire.

I know what he wants to do, he wants to brand me.

“No!” Nightmare Moon shouts, I see her glaring at him. “You will not brand my daughter. I’m the only one allowed to partake in such a pleasurable act!”

She smiles at me; there is a flash in her eyes that makes me audibly gulp. “Ohh... seems like she’s finally in the spirit, she finally understands fear. Let’s nurture that feeling, shall we?”

I hate them; I hate all three of them. That hatred only builds when I feel three more shadow spears impale themselves in my other wing and my front two hooves. They lift as one and crucify me against the rock wall directly behind me. I scream as Mindsink pulls out a mouthful of my feathers and uses them help start the fire.

With the help of my feathers, Timespire finally manages to create that fire. He levitates it to mom. She catches it with her magical grip and smiles as she leans in close to me. I try to look away, but she gives a lick over my cheek as the fire forms a shape in her magic.

Without a moment’s hesitation, she slams it down on my flank. The next thing I feel is pain, the next thing I smell is burnt flesh and fur.

“You’re my daughter? Disgusting, I can’t wait to leave and be rid of you,” she looks down at my flank. “But at least now you’re properly decorated.”

As I feel her twist the brand back and forth, the pain becomes blackness, my vision is gone, and my body is on fire. As my mom burns a brand of the crescent moon over my cutie mark, I’m falling, I’m falling into a never ending abyss of pain that I know I will not wake from.

I’m about to die. I welcome it, even death would be better than this fate.

I’ll come back for you!

No, I won’t give up, not yet.

“Ten minutes,” I say as I look at the watch upon my hoof. I cannot believe it. After a month of pining back and forth in Canterlot, being miserable, wishing more than anything that I could manage to find some way back here to find her, vowing to myself that I will return here, and then succeeding, I’ve spent the first ten minutes sitting on my flank with no clue what to do.

I felt like such a grown-up. I made a vow, I promised myself that come what may I’d come back for her. What a joke that was. I realize now that big words don’t make me a stallion. Even this, even everything I did that led me here, all of it, it’s all nothing more than words. It’s what I do now that matters. None of what I did before counts unless I actually find her.

I just don’t know how I can.

“I really should’ve thought this through,” I say to nopony in particular. I feel so dumb. I planned out every detail I could think of on how to get here, and now that I’m here I have no idea what to do.

Mom would kill me if she could see me now, for more reasons than one. The thought almost causes me to laugh, almost.

I stand up on my four hooves and sigh. Sitting around isn’t going to do me any good. I need to pick a direction and start looking. Randomly bumbling around Tartarus is a bad idea on a good day, and this is not a good day, but what choice do I have?

I look around again. In one direction there’s nothing but black hills as far as I can see. I think that’s where they used to keep the more dangerous prisoners. Everywhere else I look is simply grey.

I arbitrarily assign the direction of the black hills as north. I have no idea if that really is north, or if a north could even be said to exist in a place like this, but it’s better to have some landmark than nothing.

I refrain from patting myself on the back just yet. There’s nothing to celebrate, all I did was affix an arbitrary direction to the only landmark I can see. Woopty doo!

On the plus side, I can eliminate heading in that direction. Last month when I came to before leaving this place I didn’t exactly take the time to look around; however, I did see out the castle’s windows more than once. There were no black hills anywhere close by. I could see them, but they were far in the distance.

Thinking about those times hurts but I have to do this right now. I remember seeing them but they were always so far away. I just can’t focus though. A dark-blue pegasus keeps jumping in my thoughts.

Dammit Nighttide, why didn’t I spend more time with you when I had the chance?

I shake my head clear. Thinking about her is not what I need to do; I need to pick a direction and go. I know that the black hills were far away and that their angle wasn’t too sharp so that means I need to head south. Well, in some direction south. True my destination could be north beyond the hills, but if that’s the case she’s too far away, I’d never reach her. So I have no choice but to write that off.

Of course that still leads which southern direction to go. Do I go southeast, southwest, due south, or somewhere between them?

I place my saddlebags down and pull out a water bottle. Placing it on the ground I spin it. After all, when it comes down to chance, it’s sometimes best to let chance decide for you.

Chance hates me. My first two spins have it pointing north and northwest. The third one has it pointing northeast, and finally, on the fourth try I get one going some other direction. It wants me to go southeast.

There’s truly no reason I can think of to go in any other direction. My memories of those times are crappy at best, and besides, it’s not like I spent a long time looking out the windows. When I did see the mountains they were almost always in cursory glances that will not help me right now.

I smile when I place the bottle water back in my bag and start walking. Every time I try to think back to those times I always end up picturing Nighttide. I see her walking the hallways of Tartarus’s Castle with a sad look on her muzzle, I see her perking up when she sees me, and I see the look of heartbreak when I turn my nose up at her.

I felt so damn self-righteous then. Like I was some big stallion for making her suffer like that. What a joke. I’d give all four hooves to be able to take it back, to simply be able to talk to her again.

Shimmering Night actually asked me if she’s worth it, if she’s worth sacrificing my life for. The thought makes me laugh; it actually implies that I feel like my life might be worth hers. Right now I’d give my life for a kiss, if by spending it I could rescue her from this, I’d say I got way more than it’s worth.

I find myself closing my eyes and picturing her. I’ve known Nighttide for eight years now, for eight years we were the best of friends, she went with me on camping trips, to the fairgrounds, carnivals, and even on my first visit to the Crystal Empire. Well, the first one I can remember anyway.

I know what Red told me, I know he told me that she was under orders to do it all, and I also know it’s the truth. She was under orders to make me fall for her, and she tried, boy did she try. But… but at some point she fell for me instead. His plan was an utter failure and a complete success all at the same time.

I’ll never know what she sees in me or why she loves me, but I don’t need to know why, all I need to know is that she does. Mom once told me not to get bogged down with details, to just focus on the facts.

Some of the wisest words I’ve ever heard; impressive considering she always hated egghead stuff.

Nighttide loves me and I think… no, I know that I love her too. I love her, I need her, and I want her by my side. From now until the stars turn cold.

That realization makes me smile and that smile causes me to blink my thoughts clear. I have no idea how long I’ve been walking. The landscape hasn’t really changed but it’s a bad idea to lose track of yourself when you have a time limit. I check my watch and see that I’ve been walking for about twenty minutes now. Using this pause I look around to check my bearings, just to make sure I’m not walking in a big circle thinking about her.

That’s when I notice something strange, the black hills are back and to my right, and not to my left. The bottle told me to go southeast, yet while I was thinking about her my hooves took me southwest.

I’d lose far too much time if I backtracked to go southeast now and if I just went southeast from this position I may not be able to find my way back. I shake it off; it was an arbitrary direction anyway. The bottle told me to go southeast but my hooves took me southwest. I suppose if I should put my trust in something it should be myself.

“I’m coming for you,” I say the words as I stand back up and keep walking. They’re more to motivate myself than in any hope that she’ll actually hear them.

My flank still hurts as I sit in my father’s throne room. He just finished telling us that my mom is no more, that she was taken from us by Princess Luna. A large part of me is glad, fuck that bitch.

What does surprise me is when I see the smallest tear fall from his eye.

“So what now?” Timespire asks.

My ire rises as he speaks. I want to paint the walls with his blood. Between what Mindsink, mom, and he did to me they deserve nothing less.

“Problem, daughter?” my father asks.

“No, sir,” I say as I look away. I know what he saw; I let my emotions get the best of me. My lips were pulled back and my fangs were showing. I mentally kick myself for such an open display of emotions.

They want me to lose it; they want me to do something stupid, to act without thinking. That’s how I ended up with a half healed over brand on my flank, that’s how I had all my feathers plucked out one at a time in the most painful way imaginable.

True, my feathers were back, and the scar on my flank was healing, albeit slowly because of the magic my mom used, but it was healing all the same. Still, every time I sit down upon it, every time I put pressure upon it, I was reminded about what they did.

I’m used to the treatment; it has been like this for four-hundred years now. They do something like this to me every year on the anniversary of my birth as a way to help me keep track. It’s just the way things are. The strong prey upon the weak, if I don’t like it my only option is to get stronger.

My mother’s words still ring true in my ears.

Timespire and Mindsink are both grinning at me. Together the two have violated my body in almost every way imaginable. Well, every way but one. My father drew the line at them raping me, although he says it’s only because he doesn’t want any more company.

One mistake was enough.

It’s almost enough to make me think he actually cares.

Yeah... right.

“What do we do now?” Timespire repeated his question.

“There’s nothing we can do,” I look up at that, my father is slumped back on his makeshift throne, he looks… defeated, almost lonely.

I doubt he knows what that really feels like. I do.

“So… that’s it?” Mindsink speaks up; I glance over to see him glaring at my father in disbelief. “After all that we failed?”

“Yes,” my father states his answer like it is the dumbest question on the moon.

It kind of is.

“No! I refuse to give up, I refuse to believe that after a thousand years’ planning we ju-” Mindsink’s rant was cut off by a spike shooting up through his lower jaw. I laugh at that, even a dullard like him should be able to see that my father is in no mood to put up with his shit right now.

I seriously doubt he loves my mother, but he obviously misses her. Or maybe he’s just pissed that she failed? Either way, it’s a really stupid time to get on his bad side.

“Something funny, daughter?” I look up to see him glaring at me.

“No sir,” I do my best to keep the fear out of my voice. I fail.

“Is that so? Shame, I could use a laugh right now. Why don’t you and Timespire give me that? I do believe the moon creatures are getting a little... uppity. Timespire, do something to help them expend their energy.”

My eyes grow wide at that. This is Timespire’s favorite game with me. He’s going to regress me until I’m a foal and throw me out for the moon creatures to chance. I turn and glare at him; my newly grown feathers extend out.

He can try but I’ll kick his flank in.

“Nighttide,” the voice chills me to the core. I look over to see a scowl on my father’s face. “I don’t recall giving you a choice.”

“I don’t recall giving a buck!” I shout back, glaring at Timespire.

Timespire leaps for me, he’s simply trying to get in range. Sixty three hooves, I’ve learned that one the hard way. I leap back and into the air, from each feather tip I shoot out a shadow spear, intent on ending this quickly.

If I can end this quickly he can’t regress me, no matter what my father says.

The look on his face is priceless. How I wish I had a way to capture that look and post it over my bed. I’d masturbate to it every night if I could. Never before have I unleashed this much power. I’ve been biding my time, savoring the moment so to speak.

Now… now it’s his turn to know fear.

He’s panicking as he forces his power to the forefront. He had been planning to regress me. If he kept to that he might have stopped my attack, but in his haste I can see his cutie mark starting to spin the other way.

Just as I planned; the fear in his eyes tells me what I already know. True, he can control the time of anything in his range, but you can’t defend against what you can’t respond to. At this range, with this much power poured into my attack, he doesn’t have a hope in all of Tartarus to stop it.

“Buck all four of you!” I shout out. This is my moment; this is when I show them all I’m not the weak little mare they take me for. I’m four-hundred years old; too damn old to be playing these bucking games. Their whipping mare is gone.

My tormentor will finally know the true definition of the word. He will finally understand that I’m not the weak one here, he is.

The smile on my face fades as I see every one of my spears shatter upon a shimmering red energy shield. Timespire sees it too. I can tell it’s not his doing, he doesn’t have such power. Besides, even if he did he wouldn’t be wearing the same expression on his face that I am.

We’re both shocked.

“What part of you don’t have a choice did you miss out on?”

The voice pierces my ears like a dagger. I hold my hooves over them and a cry escapes my lips. I pushed it too far with that last comment, my father decided to take matters into his own hooves.

I feel it then, my bones starting to get smaller, and the muscles in my body starting to contort as they’re forced to shrink to my new size. I should have known Timespire would use this small opening to his advantage.

It’s what I would’ve done.

He’s dragging it out, of course he would. Decades fall off my frame at a time. I’m grunting in pain as my body continues to regress. I’m trying not to give him the satisfaction of seeing me hurt, I fail, but I still try.

I fall to the ground, the fall hurt, but it’s nothing compared to what my body feels like it’s going through. It’s pain, unimaginable pain. I’ve gotten used to a lot over the years, but no matter how many times I experience it, pain is just not on that list.

The tears are falling freely now. I can’t take it, I can’t; I’m going to cry ou-

It stops. My body still feels like it’s on fire, but the pain stops. I open my eyes, trying to blink them clear of the tears I’ve shed. It doesn't work. Everything is covered by a haze of tears and everything… everything is simply, bigger.

“I think I’ve had enough of your attitude, dear daughter,” my father says. I was almost his size fully grown; now he’s a giant amongst giants. I’m afraid, I can’t help it, he scares me; he’s always scared me.

“Mindsink, I think I’d like a happy daughter that misses her mommy,” he says before turning back to his throne. “Afterwards, you can throw her to the garbage, Timespire. I think a few days of being their chew toy will do her wonders.”

“Don’t you remember?” I tense up as I hear his voice; it’s dry and raspy from still trying to heal. He must have gotten down from the spike at some point during all of this. “Don’t you remember just how much you loved your mommy?”

…

I’m out in the cold, alone, and scared. Where’s my mom? Where is she? She always comes and gets me when I’m out here, she just… she must not know I’m here yet. I huddle up for warmth. Looking up I can see the world in the sky. I’m on the moon’s surface; I’m all by myself.

I’ve never been out here by myself; I’m always with my mom. She… she looks out for me.

Everything’s dark. It feels so oppressive, so lonely, and so scary. My ears twitch as I hear something approach from behind me. Looking back I see a strange looking creature approach, It’s made of shadows and smoke, teeth sharp as spears.

It’s a moon native. They… they were touched by mom’s power, darkened by it. She… she normally fights them off for me. I’m too young right now, Timespire fought me and I was regressed, I can’t fight. I need… I need her.

It lunges at me, trying to sink its teeth into my flesh. I jump forward with a yelp and run. My wings are too small to fly, I gotta run, I gotta hide, I gott-

There are two more of them in front of me. I come to a halt right before I run into one.

“Mommy!” I cry out as the one behind me lunges again. I feel its teeth sink into my hind legs. It hurts, it hurts so much.

The two in front need no further invite. They lunge out and attack me. I feel one sink his teeth into my wing and rip it off. It hurts; it hurts so much, I can’t stand it.

The last one goes for my throat. He doesn’t pull, rather he just chews. I can’t think anymore, I can’t process anything but the pain as these creatures start gnawing on my body.

My mom’s not coming; she’s not going to save me. I should just give up, death would hurt less.

I’m coming for you,

The foreign thought gives me the smallest ray of hope right before I black out from pain.

“It’s a bucking miracle!” I shout the words as I gallop down the hill. Somehow, through some stupid stroke of luck, I found it. Directly in front of me are the remains of Tartarus’s Castle. The thing is in ruin. A full half of the castle has collapsed in upon itself thanks to the chasm that Radiant’s last attack caused.

I wish I had been there, from what he told us, when his mom died it released Eros, the God of Love. She granted him the power necessary to release such an attack. Looking at the destruction it caused, it must have been epic.

Of course… that doesn’t make my job any easier. I have to search through that destruction and try and find my… my love.

She’s here, I don’t know how I know, I don’t know why I know, I just know.

Beep, beep, beep.

My watch starts beeping at me. I look down at it, shocked that my first hour is already up. It took me an hour to get here, add in an hour back, and that only leaves me an hour to search.

I hate this bucking watch.

I know I can’t search a tenth of this mess in that amount of time. Heck, I can’t search a tenth of a tenth of this mess in that amount of time. However, right now, I just don’t care. I found my way into Tartarus, I found Tartarus’s Castle, and I can find Nighttide.

'Oooooooooooooooowhoo!!'

The howl in the distance freezes the blood in my veins. That’s… that’s a pack howl. I know that sound; mom taught me all about the creatures that roam the Everfree Forest. I know they’re not the same creatures from the Everfree, but many different types of creatures use that howl. It almost always means the same thing, that sound means they’re going to attack, or that they’ve found food.

It’s from too far away to be about me.

“NIghttide!” the word forces itself from my lungs, up my throat, and out my lips. I have no evidence it’s about her, I just… I just know. I know it like I know that she’s still alive. Sprinting, I take off in the direction of the noise. I don’t care if they see me, I don’t care if they attack me as one huge pack, I just care that I have to get to her before they do.

My breathing becomes labored, my chest, and my legs hurt. I push through it, I push as hard as I can, forcing myself to go the distance. As my muscles start burning it becomes that much more of a challenge.

I don’t care; I have to make it before they surround her. Just up the slope, just up the last hill, and I should be able to see her again. That’s all the motivation I need to move mountains, much less to clear a stupid hill.

I clear the hill; with one look down the other side I gasp in horror as I see that I’m too late.

Author's Notes:

While our nightmares may be scary, nothing is more terrifying than reality.