Author's Notes:

You will find this story is slightly different than the others. Unlike the others we wrote this story in first person present tense. This was just done for this one story and when the next big one comes out it will be back to third person. As we've never written like this before, feel free to point out any errors that we may have missed.

“I owe you a kick in the balls, son of Tartarus.”

That voice, I know that voice, but the pain shooting through my body is causing me too much agony, so much so that I almost didn’t hear it. Every breath I take hurts, almost to the point that I question if it’s worth breathing at all.

I should be dead, I know that much. The accursed one that stole my mother from me blasted me through the chest when I had my guard down. Yet somehow I still breathe, somepony must have healed me while I was out. My own healing power seems to have failed me. I don’t know why.

As I open my eyes I see her, my mom, Nightmare Moon. She’s back. She’s standing right above me like she never left. I want more than anything for her to pick me up and hold me in her hooves like she used to all those years ago. I had given up on getting her back; I had done it for him… for my Taz. He… he’s worth losing her; he is the only thing that is.

How did I fall for somepony like him? The better question would be: How could I not? Taz... I’ve never known such a noble soul, a pony that always tries to do good. My father wants him for his own use, he will fail. Taz will find a way to overcome him. I know this like I know the color of my dark-blue coat. Taz is too good, too kind to let himself be used. I had given up on seeing my mom again for him. I may hate Luna, but I know he doesn’t. I made a decision to give her up because I knew it was what he would want.

Seeing her now, I question that decision.

“Mommy?” I ask, hoping she will hear me.

It hurt to say that much, but she’ll heal me; she’ll make it alright again. Then I can go free Taz from my father and we can be together, just the three of us; like we were in my dreams.

My mom looks down at me and I do my best to smile, something made next to impossible with the pain I’m in. She’s as beautiful as I remember. She’s a night-black alicorn with blue smoke for a mane and tail. Her armor stands out on her head and neck. Then… she does something odd, she laughs. “This is just too precious, my darling little angel,” her words make me want to smile again; It’s happening just like in my memories.

“Look how cute you are…” her face makes little kisses in the air.

I feel a tear start to fall from my eye. She’s back, I got my mommy back, the thought makes me want to smile, and somehow, I do. I will the muscles in my face to form that smile. I’m smiling at my mother.

“How droll. I feel like I could puke at the sight of you.” My mother’s words hurt far worse than Princess Luna’s attack. Why is she saying these things? I feel tears falling once more. My muzzle hurts again as the smile falls from my face. It hurts far more to frown than it does to smile. Yet, I can do nothing else. Why… why did she say that? The thought does me no good. I have no hope of trying to find the answer.

“You really let Timespire regress you? And you have the gall to be my daughter? I don’t think so. You are such a disappointment, such a waste of time. When I left you were a four hundred year old pegasus.

You were a powerhouse, easily the equal of either Timespire or Mindsink! I won’t say I was proud of you, we both know that could never be, but at least you could hold your own. Now look at you, you’re just a stupid little foal all over again. You weren’t worth the effort to rear the first time, what in the world makes you think I’d go through that again? Although, I do have to give you credit for avoiding Luna’s presence for all this time. But even then… as far I can remember from the bits in my mind, you spared her. To make matters worse, you let her spare you like a little foal. I guess you really are a nothing more than that – you’re nothing more than a little foal again, aren’t you? You should stay like this for your failure. Just look at you! Even I can’t stand it, you’re disgusting!”

This… this isn’t right. This isn’t right at all. She… why did she say that? Her words make me realize one more thing, she... she hates me.

She picks me up. It hurts… it hurts so much. The movement shifts my body around. Forcing organs and bones into positions they don’t want to be in. I cry, I cry out in pain, I cry out in agony. I’m in her hooves, she’s pressing my chest against hers, and she’s cooing at me while rubbing my back.

It’s everything I’ve wanted for the last sixty-two years and I just want it to end. I want more than anything to be anywhere else. Whatever it took for me to no longer be in her hooves. I don’t want to be in her hooves anymore, I want… I want to be in Taz’s hooves.

It’s all I want anymore.

“Oh dear daughter, you’re three times the failure. Letting yourself get regressed, letting Mindsink change your memories, and then failing to finish off Princess Luna. Don’t cry just because you're worthless and I never wanted you, cry because of what I’m going to do to you because of that fact. Cry for the knowledge that you will never again be with your little lover. Surprised? Every mother can feel that. Maybe I should kill that little colt after you? How about that? But let’s start off with you, it will be much more fun and I will finally be rid of you!”

She’s going to attack Taz; she’s going to kill him. I… I have to stop her, I hav-

She tosses me into the air. The pain hits and my face contorts from it. I must flap my wing, I try; I try with all my might to fly. My wings won’t move. I keep trying, I… I…

An energy blast hits me in the chest. It forces me up in the air. It hurts… it burns. My body becomes fire, it… it becomes pain. I cry out. It hurts… it hurts so much.

After an eternity I fall off the energy blast. I can barely open my eyes. I’m falling; I’m falling into the debris of the castle. The fall alone will kill me.

Another tear falls, this time it’s not from the physical pain.

Taz… I’m so, so sorry.

…

…

…

I’ll come back for you!

I wake in a cold sweat. My body feels like it’s on fire. My mind hurts, my head hurts; everything just hurts. It was that dream again, the dream that will not leave me alone, the one that I cannot remember after awaking. I check the calendar; it’s the tenth time in two weeks that I’ve had that dream.

I’ve been keeping track.

It’s getting worse. It started the night that my mom dragged me out of Tartarus almost a month ago. I feel a wet streak run down my muzzle. Wiping it with a night-black hoof, I look down to see the tear that fell from my eye.

“Nighttide,” I say.

They tell me she’s dead, they tell me she’s gone, killed by the resurrected Nightmare Moon.

They’re wrong. I know this; I feel it in my heart. I’m a blank, magic and I just cannot exist together, and yet I know what nopony else knows.

“I’ll come back for you,” I repeat the words just like I do every single day. I made her that promise, I promised her that, and I intend to keep it. I… I just don’t know how, yet.

I sat up and roll off my bed. The sheets stuck to my back come with me. My night sweats cause them to stick to my fur. I don’t care; they’ll fall off just like they have every other day. Walking forward to leave my room, I notice my reflection in the mirror.

My mane is in stark contrast to my coat. I was born with a night-black coat, but a light blue and purple mane. It’s almost comical just how ratty it is right now. Brushing just doesn’t seem worth the effort. My eyes stop me from laughing; my magenta eyes just look… old, old and tired, far older than a thirteen year-old’s eyes should look.

Despite myself, my eyes trace my reflection in the mirror down to my flank, my blank flank. To think that things like cutie marks used to matter to me, that thought did cause me to chuckle. It seems so juvenile now.

The action is refreshing in a way. I shake my head and leave the room. It’s refreshing to know that I can still find humor in things, even if it is something as stupid as that.

“Today,” I say.

I haven’t spoken to Shimmering Night since the day she drove me from Canterlot… well, not in any meaningful way anyway. We exchanges platitudes, but we never talk about the elephant in the room.

Today we will, today I’ll thrust that elephant in her muzzle and force her to deal with it, just like she did to me. I don’t give a damn if she’s up for it or not. I’ve waited long enough. “Today I’ll come back for you, Nighttide.”

It’s more of a promise to myself than to Nighttide, but I hope she hears it anyway.

My path to the infirmary takes me past the throne room. I know not to look, I know to keep my head straight and eyes forward, and yet I look anyway.

They’re on the thrones, just like I knew they would be. Rainbow is lying down upon hers. She’s still ‘The Rainbow Dash’, still my mom, still brash, still cocky, still arrogant, and yet… yet she’s changed. Her wings are gone. Those beautiful golden wings… they’re just gone and it’s my fault.

It’s all my fault.

She told me it’s not, she told me that it was Red, and that he tricked me into wearing those damn essence stones. She’s wrong, Red could do a lot, but I chose to wear them, that was my doing, a decision I must own, and this is nothing more than the consequence for that decision.

Rainbow Dash, the greatest, fastest flyer that Equestria, no… that the world had ever known had her wings clipped, by me. She can say what she wants, but the facts are the facts. It’s my fault, I accept it, I own it, and I’ll fix it.

If only I knew how.

Nopony spoke it, but we all had doubts that maybe, just maybe her wings were gone for good. She’s a pegasus; the magic that makes up her wings may not come back, even with the removal of the bracelet around her hoof. We never speak of it because there is nothing we can do about it. There is no need to invite trouble as we have more than enough as is.

Twilight looks the same as always, well, to anypony that did not grow up around her, or that did not call her wife or mom. She was born a unicorn and became an alicorn by her own self-worth. After what Rainbow lost, she can’t even bring herself to complain. Often, she’d still try to fall back to her magic, when I watch her, I can still see that. I catch small attempts by her to try and levitate a book down from a shelf or her trying to use her magic to pick up a spoon.

I know that if I see it, Rainbow definitely does. Looking at her now, I see her going down a scroll rolled out on the throne. I know she’s marking off another item for today, and then she slightly pauses, a deadpan expression on her face. She’s trying to do it again. She’s trying to roll up the scroll with her magic. It breaks my heart at times.

Rainbow saw it too.

Without a word she jumps over to Twilight’s throne and lies down next to her. I see Rainbow rest her muzzle on Twilight’s neck. Twilight flashes a warm, thankful smile for that small action. Actions always speak so much louder than words.

I know that Twilight is the only reason Rainbow hasn’t had her hoof removed. For almost a year Rainbow lived with three hooves while I was growing in my mom’s belly. I think Twilight just doesn’t want to see her like that again. Not unless she has to anyway. The sight before me, that connection, and the love I see them share, it all combines to remove any doubt I have about what I decided.

“I’ll come back for you,” I whisper under my breath and let my parents be.

The walk to the infirmary does me no good. Every step seems to bring back that very doubt. Almost as if my mind is trying to tell me to let it be; that they’re all right, and that Nighttide really is gone. I shake my head clear and keep walking. It doesn’t matter if they’re right or not, I made a promise to come back for her, and I’ll keep that promise.

Just like I was raised to do.

Twilight had an entire hospitals’ worth of equipment moved here for everypony. She told the doctors to do it and that she didn’t give a damn about any inconvenience it may cause. She wanted her family under one roof and as princess she would get it. That had actually caused Rainbow to smile. It was a rare day when mom would use her authority like that.

The first door I pass in the temporary infirmary was Vela’s. I still cannot believe what happened to Emperor Icarus while we were in Tartarus. He died saving all of my friends. I suppose, if I had to pick a way to go out that would be the one I’d pick. Empress Vela was pulled out of the cavern at around the same time we got out of Tartarus. She suffers from third degree burns over most of her body, yet she lives. She lives because Icarus gave her his spear. A spear she still clutches tightly in her grip. The hippogriff never let go of that spear, even in her coma she holds it in a death grip. No pony was dumb enough to try and remove it. Not as long as her mom had any say in it anyway.

Aurora Flash, my sister, the first mare I loved. She had an almost permanent spot next to her daughter. I’d be lying if I said I don’t still feel something for Aurora, even now. However, it’s not the same as before.

My feelings being brought to the forefront like they were, and then having them rejected, it let me move on. Aurora will always be more to me than just a sister, but I can’t say I love her anymore, not like that anyway.

While one of Aurora’s hooves was still in a cast, that wasn’t what kept her here. Her daughter did that. In truth I think there is nowhere else she’d rather be. She has plenty to do, letters arrive from Warclaw almost every day, she does what she can, but she won’t go back, not yet. Everything she has left is right here. Until she can take her daughter home, this is where she’ll stay. Sitting at her daughter’s bed doing as every mother should.

Curled up to Vela as if he was a small cat was her brother, Dayspring. The little hippogriff had not said a word since Vela’s body was dug out of the ice-cavern. I know he won’t move from that spot, not until she wakes up. The love he has for his sister is absolute.

I only know of one time that Aurora left her daughter’s side and that was when she went to see our brother, Sunshin- Dayspring Gleam. They talked for just five minutes. There was a lot of cursing coming from my sister, and when I next saw Dayspring he had a black eye. However, it had been Dayspring’s insistence that she not come back for a while.

When I asked him about it he told me that it wasn’t because of her hitting him, rather, it was because she had someone more important to be with. Sun- Day always did have everypony’s best interests in heart.

What really brought me to tears was when he met with Twilight and Rainbow. Not a word was said during the first two times they met. They simply held each other and cried. I admit that I did too. However, such silence would not last. After the third day of it the questions were finally brought forth.

To the day I die I’ll never forget his answer. He told us that he stayed away for the most basic of reason. When I first saw him I thought it was some sick game he was playing with me, I was wrong. Day stayed away because he was afraid. Grim Night used him to hurt everyone he loved, to hurt his sister, and his friends. He was awake for all of it, aware of everything. The Night revenant tortured him with the information of what he was going to do.

He had stayed away because he blamed himself for everything, but… but he wouldn’t just leave me alone, not with what he knew. As I suspected, all the strange things that happened to me, they were his work. He told us that while he couldn’t be my brother, he could still be my friend.

Rainbow dogpiled him at that; she called him a big dork while crying into his chest. To this day I’ve never seen her so emotional.

The only reason he’s still in the infirmary is that our parents won’t let him leave. Twilight wants every test verified eight times over with three different doctors. Physically he's fine; however, his magic is another story.

He exhausted himself during his battle in Tartarus with Red. I saved his life but it left him weak, drained of all his magical reserves. In Tartarus his magic couldn’t refill as it would in Equestria. The doctors say it will just take time for it to come back, how much was anypony’s guess.

Personally I think mom just wants to make sure he’s safe. After the shit he pulled he deserves it. I think he’s enjoying it anyway. For sixteen years he lived without a family, now he’s enjoying the attention, even if he does complain about it from time to time.

My cousin comes to see him almost daily. Radiant and Dayspring were the best of friends before his death. Radiant seems driven by something, something none of us can nail down. He never told any of us more than the basics of what happened in Tartarus, something about the God Eros.

Twilight had him scanned by more ponies than I can count. Not a one of them found any evidence of Mindsink tampering with his mind. Mom didn’t seem very happy with that answer and I doubt she will be happy with what anypony else has to say until she can scan him herself.

The room across from Vela was Flash’s. I glance inside to see the pegasus relaxing on his bed, bored. He has a cast on his back hoof that makes getting around a challenge for the young pegasus. The extra weight throws off his flight and after the third time he crashed into the wall the doctors told him that they’d put a cast on his wings if they caught him flying again.

If he had been close to his brother before this now they were inseparable. Blaze helped Flash with everything, well… almost everything. Every day at three p.m. Flash would tell his brother to step aside as he paid Vela a visit. I watched it one day; he’d hobble across the hallway and jump up on her bed with Dayspring and Aurora. Aurora would nod at him, but no words would pass between them. He’d stay on her bed for thirty minutes before getting up and hobbling back to his room.

Only once did somepony try to help him. Nopony has made that mistake again. He’s done it alone for three weeks straight now. Never once has he missed a day.

When the twins were told about their grandma’s death, it changed something in them. Nothing obvious, but they’re just… different. I don’t know yet if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. Right now I’m going with bad. I want things to go back to the way it was before… I might as well try to move the sun with my mind.

I shake my head clear again and continue down the hallway. My destination is the room at the end, the room that used to be my parent’s bedroom. They gave over the entire hallway to this makeshift infirmary. For this room they needed the biggest space in the palace. For this held two different ponies. Well… technically four, but only two actually made use of it for it’s intended purpose.

As I walk in the first thing I see is the white sheet that split the room in two and gives them each some privacy. On the right side of the room lay Starlight. I’ve never seen her so hurt, so weak. She’s always been a natural leader, so powerful and strong. Yet even she was brought low.

What little I could see of her blue coat was burned black. She’s bandaged from hoof to head in medical wraps. Of all of them she had taken the worst of it. Most of her body is covered in third degree burns from the revenant Fire.

“Red, I will get you for this,” I vow again.

Her sister, Ana, is almost always by her side. Ana takes care of everything her sister needs. I’ve seen her on more than one occasion push the doctors out of the way when she thought that she could do it.

When she’s not with Starlight she’s with me. However; I know when she’s with me she just wants to be with her sister. Whenever I try and tell her to go back, she tells me that she doesn’t know what I’m talking about.

I’m not that dumb. Even I can see the conflicting desires in her, it’s tearing her apart. She’s happy I’m back, but sad about her sister’s condition – a condition that is only getting better because of Starlight’s roommate.

It still pisses off Ana, but Shimmering Night was the other pony in this room. I look over, already knowing what I will see. Night is sitting up on the bed, she looks – for lack of a better term – weak.

Night was the one that opened up the portal allowing us to escape Tartarus. She did it by using the magic that was there, the dead magic that was there. I never knew such a thing existed, but that ignorance doesn’t change the fact that it’s killing her.

Unlike Mindsink and Timespire, she isn't in Tartarus to simply draw upon more of that power in order to keep herself healthy. Here, in Equestria, she’s feeling the full effect of using such power.

She’s able to keep herself going with the magic in Equestria. She can command it to heal her and it does for now, but it’s almost like the Tatarus magic she used is punishing her for using Equestrian magic. That punishment is made worse by the fact that she’s the only alicorn that can raise and lower the sun. Twice a day, despite her condition, she’ll switch around the celestial bodies. Around noon she’ll exhaust herself doing what she can for her daughter.

Even I can see that she is pushing herself too much. It’ll keep her weak but she won’t do anything less.

I don’t think Ataxia has left this room since they were brought here. I can’t really blame her for that one. Her wife and daughters are both in these four walls, why would she leave?

Ataxia’s concern only seemed to increase when Night started puking in the mornings. I don’t know if it’s a sign of her condition getting worse or not. I hope not.

Twilight has teams of researchers in every city of Equestria and the Griffin Empire looking for a cure for my sister’s condition. Even I knew they’ll find nothing. A God has never died before. How could anypony, griffin, or whatever know what to do when one uses their magic?

“Hey Taz,” Ataxia says as she sees me walking towards my sister’s bed.

Night looks at me, blushes, and then looks away. I already know why, she’s guilty of everything she accused me of wanting. However, she doesn’t know that I know, not yet anyway.

“Taz!” Ana’s scream alerts me that she sees me too. I turn around to look at her only to be wrapped up in a hug. The hug feels nice, but she really needs a shower. I don’t mention it; some truths are better off kept to yourself.

“Hey Ana,” I say, “I need to talk with my sister. Would you mind giving us a minute?”

She glares over my shoulder at Night. I know she’s staring daggers at her mother.

“It’s nothing bad, I just gotta ask her something, in private,” I lie. I do need to ask her in private, but it is something bad. Something Ana cannot know about.

With the obvious hesitation on her face I’m forced to double down: “Please, for me?”

I smile as that seems to win her over. Although she does glare at Night once more before hugging me again and leaving. As I turn around to face the other two in the room, the sounds of Starlight’s heart monitor to my right reminds me that there is in fact a forth; however, she hasn’t woken up since her last surgery. There’s no real risk there.

“Ataxia…” I look at her. She’s glaring at me in disbelief, already knowing what I’m going to ask. “Would you mind?” I gesture with a head nod to the door.

“You’re kidding, right?” Ataxia asks me.

“Night and I need to talk about…” I look down, letting the weight of what I want to talk about speak for me.

“About what?”

Mentally I’m hitting myself in the face with a hoof; I should'a known she wouldn’t catch on.

“It’s fine Ataxia, I… I want to talk with him, alone,” Shimmering Night says. Earning herself a disbelieving stair from her wife.

“I don’t want to leave you alone,” Ataxia replies.

“I want you to,” Night counters. “For me.”

Like daughter like mother it seems. Ataxia takes one more look around before sighing and heading to the door. Sincerity always seems to speak with a weight of its own.

I watch her leave and knew that I should be smiling, but I’m not. That was the easy part; the hard part is what comes next. Sighing, I jump up on the bed and lie next to Night. My front hooves sticking out in front of me, my back underneath.

“Night I-” she cut off my words by grabbing me and wrapping me in a big hug. She’s pulling me as close to her as she possibly can while crying out on my fur.

By all rights I’m a big pony, but not even I can stand up to an alicorn’s size.

I should be insulted, I should be mad, I want to be mad. It’s not her place to cry about this; she was the one that chased me off, the one that made me consider suicide. Yet… yet, I’m not mad about it.

“I’m so, so sorry,” she sobs into my coat, crying like a school filly that just got dumped. I can’t help but feel sorry for her. Or is it that I feel sorry that she’s in such pain? It’s dumb, she outed me, she blew up at me, and she chased me off making me want to kill myself, yet I feel sorry for her.

If I’m honest with myself, I’m relieved that I do, even if it makes what I’m about to do next that much harder.

“Night,” I say with in a deadpan voice. It’s all I can do to keep from breaking down with her. “That’s why I’m here.”

“Can you forgive me?” she cries as she lets me go.

A part of me regrets what I know I will say next, but the words still leave my muzzle. “You have to do something for me, before I can even consider forgiving you.”

She blinks and looks up at me. “What do you want?”

I sigh and look out of the window, not sure how I should form my demand, or my offer to forgive her in return for said demand. “You need to understand something, Night. I was about to kill myself after what you said.” I admit the truth to her; the shocked expression on her face hurts me and I’m not even looking at it.

“Things like what you said, what you did, they can’t just be forgiven, you have to earn such forgiveness,” I pause for dramatic effect before staring directly at her, “I know how you can, I want you to open a portal back to Tartarus for me.”

“You want me to do WHAT?” her eyes widen. “No, Taz. You know that Rainbow and Twilight would kill me if I did something like that. Besides, I’m not even sure if I can in my state.”

“That’s a lie and you know it. They would never hurt you and I’m pretty sure that you still have the power to open it. Maybe not for much longer, but you still have it at the moment.” I close with a smile; there was confidence in my voice.

“You can’t ask that from me, Taz. Anything, but not that, please!” she cries again, staining her coat with new tears.

“Well, you open that portal or maybe we should talk a bit about how you and Ataxia fucked Icarus and Aurora?” It hurts me in no small amount to play my trump card, but I’m too far committed, there’s no other way now.

Now she really is sputtering, her eyes widen even more. I can’t see what’s going on in her mind, but I know that she’s considering her options. And with what I just said, they’re not really good. Well, not for her anyway.

After a while, it seems that she finally reaches a decision. “Well, so you know. I’m sorry for what I said to you, I did everything I accused you of wanting to do and I even enjoyed it. I won’t try and say it was a mistake, but before I can even consider doing something like this, I need to know, why do you want to go back to Tartarus? Give me a good answer and I’ll consider it.”

Is she joking? I just threatened her and she acts like I’m simply asking her for a favor? Nonetheless, my muzzle opens to speak one word. The only word that I give a damn about right now.

“Nighttide.”

“You’re kidding me, right? Nighttide is dead! I saw Nightmare Moon kill her!”

I feel anger rising in me, burning through my insides. I stand up and stomp a hoof on the edge of the bed, feeling the frame crack under the force.

“She’s NOT dead! She lives and I have to find her!” I scream the words at her.

“Why?” she asks bluntly.

The question takes me by surprise, “Why?” I repeat back at her, confused.

“Why do you want to risk everything for that mare? She may not even be a pony; the only thing we know for sure is that she’s hundreds of years old, Taz. After everything we went through to get you back, why would you risk your life for her?”

Thinking about it for just a short time I found the answer. It was in the last place I suspected. My mind was unsure about it, but that wasn’t what speaks now, my heart does.

“Because she’s everything to me. I don’t really know why but… but I need her. Even if I’m too late, even if there is nothing to find but…” I can’t bring myself to say her body, “I have to know for sure, I have to at least look. I owe her that much, I owe it to myself.” I look up with tears in my eyes and stare at her, “Will you please open a portal for me? Please, sis?”

Silence. It carries on for several minutes before she smiles; at least it looks like a smile to me.

“I’ll do it.”

“You will?” It’s only now do I realize that I did not expect my plea to actually work.

“Yes, Taz. I’ll do it, but there’s not much time. Soon I will be too weak to open a portal.” she closes her eyes and her face scrunches up. “I guess we have around one day left before I’ll be unable to command such power safely.”

“What does that mean?” I ask her.

“I will open a small portal, then another one after exactly nineteen hours and thirty-two minutes. It should give you three hours to find whatever you can and return. Don’t waste any time there, once I’ve lost that control I can’t bring you back and Twilight won’t be able to for months!”

“Can’t you just leave the portal open?” I ask.

Night shakes her head.

“It draws upon the ambient magic all around it. It would negatively impact all of Canterlot if I open it for more than a minute at a time. I’m ashamed to say the last one destroyed Whitetail Woods. Nothing will grow there ever again.”

“What happens if I find her earlier, she’s hurt, and we have to get back immediately?”

“You better hope that you two can get through the hours then. There’s no way to send me a signal or likewise.” she hangs her head before continuing. “If you find her alive and she needs immediate help there is nothing I can do. I would suggest that you take saddlebags with some medical equipment with you. Some bandages, IV fluids, and other things.”

“What do we do about the others? I’m pretty sure that they will notice if you open a portal,” I say, my mind instantly going to Ataxia, Radiant, Ana, and Sun- Dayspring.

“You sound like you’re trying to talk me out of it,” Night has a smile on her face when she says that.

“No I-”

She cuts me off again, “Taz, I’m going to ask you this one time and one time only. You may die on this mission as not everything left Tartarus; I felt that much last month. So, you need to answer this question before I’ll open the portal,” she pauses for what I can only assume to be dramatic effect, “Is she worth it? Don’t answer quickly.”

I sat back on my haunches and close my eyes. Night’s right, I do need to answer the question, I deserve the answer and so does she. If… if the worst should happen I will die down there, if she’s going to send me off to my death, she deserves to know the truth.

With my eyes closed I can almost make out the dream. The same one that keeps haunting me, day in, and day out. It’s like a song just at the edge of your memory, something you can only notice by not noticing. Something you’re only aware of by not being aware of it.

I’ll come back for you!

The thought screams in my mind louder than a horn whistle going off right in my ear. Something I owe Blaze for by the way. My eyes snap open and I know the answer. There is no more doubt, I simply know.

“Yes,” it was at once the hardest and easiest word I’ve ever said. “She’s worth it, more than anypony else could ever understand.”

“I think I might,” Night says to nopony in particular as she glances off into the distance. I’ve seen that look on her face before, it’s the same look she normally has when she looks at Ataxia. Well… when she’s not mad at her that is. “Gather some supplies; you should be able to find everything you need in this room.”

Before I can jump off the bed she catches me in one more hug, “I’m proud of you, LBBFF.”

I hate that stupid acronym.

She lets me go and I leave the bed to fetch one of my mom’s old saddlebags from her closet. Despite myself, I’m confused as to why she would be proud of me. I’m about to risk my life on what would be considered a fool’s errand by most ponies, and yet… yet she says she’s proud of me?

I shake my head clear and keep packing. She’s right about one thing, all the supplies I could want are in this room. I quickly find everything I can think of and a few extra things just in case. Including a few bottles of water and some gross hospital food. Worst-case scenario it beat eating rocks.

I find myself with a slight spring to my step as I turn back around to face my sister. She’s sitting up in bed with a shit-eating grin on her face just watching me. I write it off, just another mystery for another day. “I should be ready,” I say.

“Almost.” Night says as she levitates a watch to me. With a quick flash of magic it’s attached to my hoof. “I’ve already set it to go off every hour. You’ll have three hours, no more, no less,” I smile, she frowns, “Taz, you need to know...“ her hesitance to say what she wants to say worries me, “It’s been over twenty-six days for us. For her it would have been four days. That’s four days without food and without water. Nopony has lasted more than three days without water.”

I look down at that. This is my final test, my last chance to back out, I know it, and she knows it.

I’ll come back for you!

My dream shouts at me again.

“Well,” I look up at her with an expression that belittles my age. “Good thing she’s not just a pony, right?”

She smiles one more time at me before turning her head to the wall, her face contorts into one of pain as her eyes start to glow white. She starts drawing upon the magic all around us to do her will. The sight of it almost causes me to panic and unleash my own ability, almost. I know that would be the most counterproductive thing I could do right now so I rein it in.

The wall she’s facing seems to implode. In a quick glance I can see it, I can see the shades of grays and darkness, the black hills that span the background. Tartarus, it’s the one place I both want to be and never want to return to.

Without so much as a goodbye, I gallop into the portal. Everything that has been said is already said, this is the time for actions, not words.

Besides, I have a promise to keep.

“I love you, LBBFF!” the shout follows me into Tartarus as the portal snaps shut behind me.

“I love you too, sis,” I say to nopony in particular as I turn to where I assume the remains of Tartarus’s Castle are located.

Before I realize that I have no clue what direction it’s in.

“Maybe I should have thought this through,” I say with a gulp.