Chapter 3 : They start to stare

It took me about 2 hours to go to the store, buy the shit, leave, buy a cheese burger and head back. I'm usually pretty quick about shopping for things. I pulled, back into my driveway and parked, getting out and stretching. I looked around at the neighboring houses. Mine was somewhat farther from the rest because I'm at the end of a culdissac which would be good for hiding the ponies. My neighbors were fairly inactive outdoors as well, the only people out being this group that I play basketball with sometimes. We play using two driveways that are opposite of eachother and two fairly decent goals, effectively making a court out of the street.

I pressed the button that opens the trunk to my car and walked toward the back. There were a lot of groceries there but like most guys I have that "Two trips are for pussies" mentality but I knew this time it would require two. I grabbed as many bags as I could, then clambered over to my door. I raised my keys to the door and it swung open before thekey even touched it. In the doorway was Cadance, shaking with excitement, reminding me of how dogs act when you leave the house and come back.

"You're alive!" She beamed as she jumped up and hugged me. I almost fell over from her weight, combined with the weight of the bags

"Of course I'm alive, now get off!" I said in annoyance as I brushed her away. She complied getting off and pouting. I rolled my eyes and walked into my living room. Twilight was out cold, sleeping on her back with her mouth open, her body in an unlady like position. I guess that's what she gets for staying up, even though the only thing preventing that from being me was the power of caffine.

Celestia and Luna were sitting on the couch next to her, talking and giggling about something. They both looked over to me and smiled.

"Welcome back! Let me get those for you." Celestia said kindly as her horn sparked to life and my burden of bags was lifted out of my hands.

"Thanks" I said as I turned around and walked toward the door. As I was about to walk out to get more bags, I paused when I noticed Cadance was still at the door. I noticed four hoof prints in the carpeted floor and wondered how long she was standing there. "How long were you standing there anyway?" I asked.

"Since you left!" She answered. I gave her a horrified look and her ears drooped down. "What? I was worried.." She said in her defense.

"Thanks for your concern.." I said sarcastically as I walked out of the door again. I grabbed the rest of the bags, closed the trunk and locked the car. I walked back inside, quickly closing and locking my front door. Like before Celestia took my bags to the kitchen with her magic. I walked into the kitchen and Cadance followed me.

"Well I have to sort all this bullshit out now." I said as I stare at the massive amount of bags with dread and start putting things away.

"Oh can I help?" Cadance asked excitedly.

"Sure. Just make sure you put stuff where it belongs. If you're not sure then ask me where it goes." I muttered. Cadance smiled and made this weird squee sound that made me want to tear my damn hair out, then She helped me put the things away. Most of it was pretty obvious, like milk and eggs in the fridge.

"Where does the cake batter go?" Cadance asked as she held a box of it with uncertainty.

"Just leave it on the table, I'm about to st-"

*zap!*

"Did somepony say cake?" Celestia said as she suddenly appeared inbetween us, scaring the life out of me. I looked past her at the couch were she just was. Luna was sitting there with a deadpan expression, shaking her head at her sister.

"I said I was going to make it soon." I said sheepishly.

"Oh ok." She muttered. Then with a brief golden flash, she disappeared and reappeared at her spot on the couch, continuing to chat like nothing happened. I looked from Cadance to Celestia and back again. I sighed and threw my arms up in the air in frustration.

"You fuckers can teleport can't you!?"

"Yes." Cadance said with a nervous smile.

"I swear, next you'll be telling me one of you can make it rain chocolate milk or some shit..." I grumbled as I continued to put things away.

"Actually there's this guy named Dis..." Cadance started.

"I don't want to hear it!" I snapped, making her nervous. After about a minute we were done putting shit up. I heard the sound of a lawn mower and rushed to the window, sure enough my neighbor was cutting his grass. Fuck, now my grass is going to look tall and shity next to his, this neighborhood is super anal about grass height.

"That fucking Asshole..." I muttered in annoyance. Cadance walked over and looked at me in confusion.

"Why are you mad at him? Did he do something wrong?"

"No not really. He's just cutting the grass"

"Then why did you feel the need to call him names?"

"Because since he's cutting his grass, now I have to go out and cut MY grass." I explained. Cadance nodded with understanding then gave me a sideways glance.

"Did you really have to curse?"

"Probably not but why the hell shouldn't I?"

"Because its offensive?"

"So? I'm an asshole anyway."

"You may think that but you're really not." She claimed.

"Uh huh, and you know this about me somehow after knowing me for less than 24 hours?" I said sarcastically.

"Yes!" She said confidently.

"Hm.. I must be really easy to read then..." I said with a hint of sarcasm.

"Perhaps, or Cadance is really good at reading ponies.." Luna cut in as she walked over to us.

"Uh...you mean people, I'm a person."

"Thou art aware what we ment."

"Yeah yeah." I said with a chuckle. Cadance narrowed her eyes and started to study me like she was trying to figure something out. Then Celestia joined us in the kitchen.

"She is right though, Cadance is good at reading ponies." She said.

"Ok...thats great but I dont see what that has to do with me..." I muttered.

"We doubt that our races are too different mentally." Luna said.

"So? You think she can read me to?" I said, folding my arms.

"Precisely." Celestia said. I looked at both of them, shook my head and chuckled.

"You're
both full of sh-"

"Something happened recently didn't it?" Cadance interrupted. I slowly stopped laughing and turned to her.

"Well no shit something happened recen-"

"I mean before we came to your house." She inturpted again, giving me a cold and calculated stare. My smile faded slightly. What is she getting at?

"Ok...lots of things happened... What's your point?" I ask.

"What did SHE do to you Derrick?"

...

The moment she said that my eyes widened and adrenaline shot through me. She can't be serious right now... There's no way she'd know about her.

"She hurt you didn't she?" Cadance pressed. The room fell completely silent after that. Not a sound but raging lawn mowers outside. Celestia Luna and the recently awakened Twilight all stared at me, a sad and concerned look across their faces. I sat there with a shocked expression. I looked around at them and started to feel embarrassed, but like I usually do I tried to play it off.

"Thats a pretty good guess but-"

"Because of her you put on this rough exterior don't you?" She said as she slowly walked toward me.

"No..I...-"

"She hurt you....badly and it scarred you emotionaly." She said raising her voice. My sarcasm died in my throat and I averted my eyes from her,feeling completely helpless.

"Am I right?" She asked simply.

"You...d...dont know me Cadance..." I said weakly. Her eyes softened and she walked over and put her hooves on my shoulder.

"Maybe. But that's not stopping me or any of us from getting to know you if you'll just talk about it maybe you'll feel better" She said kindly. I moved her hoof away from my shoulder and sighed.

"There's nothing to talk about Cadence. I muttered. Then I immediately left and went up the stairs to change.

...

"Aww... He's hurting... It makes me so sad..." Cadance said with watery eyes.

"Perhaps you were better off not reading him, you may have stured up some old emotions that should have stayed hidden." Celestia said.

"I don't think you should bring it up anymore." Twilight said.

"But his heart is aching! He needs help. He needs friendship. He needs...love" Cadance said with determination.

"We could give him some of those things..." Luna said with a blush.

"Yes, but I'm curious about what happened that got DJ so sad." Twilight said, rubbing her chin curiously.

"We best let him tell us when he's ready too." Celestia said.

...

As I was changing all I could think about was how easily Cadance read me. How the hell did she know about her? How the hell did she know about...

...Kira...

Just thinking about her makes me want to break something. I thought I was over it but...no! Fuck her and fuck Cadence for bringing her up! Its been about two months since that day anyway, that needs to stay in the past. I dont need to look all depressed in front of the girls and have them wonder about me. I put on some shorts, a tank top and some shades then walked downstairs. When iIked down there, all four of them were sitting on the couch looking like the world was about to come to an end. I stopped in front of them and raised my brow.

"You're all bored as hell aren't you?"

"YES" they all said symeltanously. I chuckled and went over to my TV remote.

"Sheesh... You're are all so needy..." I joked.

"Tis not our fault our host doth not entertain us." Luna muttered.

"Uh huh, yeah sure I don't." I muttered as I turned the TV on. Then I tossed the remote in their general direction. Celestia caught it with her hooves and looked down at it puzzled.

"Alright this is the TV where you can watch shit." I explained.

"Like what?" Twilight asked.

"Pretty much anything you've ever read in a book but visualized with audio." I explained simply. "There are all kinds of shows and movies to watch." I said. All of their eyes lit up when I said that.

"Ok...thats great and all but what does that thing you gave us do?" Cadance asked. I walked over to them.

"These buttons change the channel, these buttons change the volume and this one brings up a guide. It tells you the rest on screen. I'm sure you're all smart enough to figure it out." I said with a wave of my hand.

"Now, I get to have a heat stroke" I said with dread as I put my shades on.

"Can I help?" Cadance asked.

"Sure! If you want to be disected..." I said sarcastically before walking into my garage. I had my work out equipment and my out door stuff in there. Let's just get this shit over with, I know I won't do it later if I dont do it now.

...

"So what should we watch?" Twilight asked. The girls exchanged uncertain glances and rubbed their chins in thought.

"How about a comedy show? I'm sure we could all use a good laugh!" Celestia suggested. Cadence made a disgusted face and shook her head.

"I think we should watch a romance show. You know... so we can find out more about how human relationships work!" Cadance said. Luna waved that idea off with a hoof.

"Nay, we should watch an action show! I wish to see human warriors battle!" Luna said, making Celestia and Cadance laugh at that idea.

"I wonder if they have Educational shows?" Twilight said with a hopeful grin. Then Cadance, Luna and Celestia all looked at her and deadpanned.

"No...just no..." Celestia said. Twilight pouted and gave Celestia puppy eyes which she tried to ignore.

Just as that was happening A lawn mower started near the house. Cadance ears popped up and she slowly made her way over to the window. Derrick just started to cut the grass. It was pretty humid outside today, so he was already hot, sweaty... And pissed.

"Let's just go through the channels until we find something we all like." Celestia suggested as she started pressing the channel buttons. They flipped through a few and were instantly fascinated by the amount of things to watch. They stopped on a movie where a guy was fighting a bunch of bad guys to save his girlfriend.

"Hey Cadence does this count as romance?" Luna asked, looking next to her only to realize she was staring out the window with a love struck expression.

"Cadance? What art thou doing?" Luna asked.

"Enjoying the show..." She said with a half lidded expression.

"But...the show is over here..." Luna said, looking confused.

"Oh trust me auntie... THIS show is much better than whatever is on the TV." She said as she layed her hooves on the window sill, then rested her head on them. Luna furrowed her brow and stared for a few moments and eventually just shrugged.

"Suit thine self." She said as she went back to the TV. A few minutes later Luna found herself frequently peeking at Cadance. "What could be more interesting than this?" She wonders. After some thought, she finally stood up.

"Where are you going sister?" Celestia asked.

"To see what our neice finds so tantalizing outside of that glass." She muttered. Celestia nodded and Luna walked over to join Cadance.

"What could be more entertaining than the TV?" She asked Cadance, who sat there with a drunken blush. She said nothing and just pointed to a certain human outside the window.

"Oh...." Luna said as her eyes widened and she blushed. She stood there for a few seconds, her wings twiching slightly.

"Scoot over." Luna eventually ordered, and then they both sat there almost drooling over the hard working human. Eventually even Celestia started to get curious.

"Here." She muttered as she gave the remote to Twilight and stood up. Twilight made a squee of excitement, finally getting a chance to watch something educational.

"Alright what are you two drooling over..." Celestia asked as she walked over with a blank expression. She gasped when she looked outside, Then she frowned, blushing furiously.

"Th...this is wrong! You two should be ashamed of yourselfs!" She scolded averting her eyes from the window.

"Thou art aware that the Princess of the night hath not any shame." Luna said.

"Oh come on auntie! You have to admit this is at least a LITTLE entertaining!" Cadance said with a smug grin.

"N..no! I'm very disappointed in you both! You shouldn't be watching him like this!" She scolded as she turned to walk away. Cadance quickly grabbed her aunt by the tail before she could leave.

"Wait, you're going to miss the best part!"

"I can't allow myself to watch any longer." Celestia said.

"Oh come now sister. We know that thou cannot resist a sweaty stallion." Luna teased. Celestia began to stutter.

"B..but...He's not even a stallion..." She said, trailing off as she took another peek out the window. Now she couldn't keep her eyes away. "Ok...Wh..what's the best part?" She asked timidly.

"Watch..." Cadence said with a smirk.

...

Ok its seriously like 1000 degrees out here or something, I need to take a break before I collapse. I stopped the lawnmower and grabbed a water bottle that I set down nearby earlier. Water is like fucking nector from the gods when you're thirsty. I quickly opened it and started chugging the drink down. When I got about half way I poured the rest onto my face to cool off. I sighed in relief as the water ran down my face and onto my shirt. My shirt started to feel heavy, damp with my sweat and now wet from the water. It was a bit uncomfortable, so I decided to just remove it all together.

I'm almost done with the front and the sides, which is all I usually cut because I pay people to do the back, which requires much more care. Now more determined and cooled off I grabbed the lawn mower. As I was about to yank the starter again, I started to feel weird...like I was being watched or something. I shrugged and decided to just get this shit over with so I can go back inside already.

...

The three snooping mares collapsed to the floor, their wings fully extended, Their faces completely flustered and love struck, in Luna's case literally drooling. Twilight looked over to them and shook her head.

"I hope I won't get weird like them in a few years.." She whispered to herself.

"See? What did I tell you!" Cadance said in-between pants. Luna slowly started to stand and she smiled nervously.

"Well...despite the events that just occurred we still have no interest in him." She claimed nervously.

"Yes...he's still...not a stallion..." Celestia said as she stood up and straightned up. Cadance frowned at her aunts.

"Seriously! You have to admit you like him a LITTLE bit!" Cadance said angrily.

"Nope. He's not a stallion." Celestia claimed.

"It is thou with the crush, not us." Luna said as she walked away like nothing happened. Cadance deadpanned and folded her front hooves. "Their just in denial... My pour aunts." Cadance thought with a shake of her head.

"Wait what are you doing now?" Celestia asked as she followed Luna into the kitchen.

"Getting something to eat!" She muttered as she looked through the cabinets.

"Shouldn't you ask Derrick if its ok first? This is his house after all.."

"Say's the pony that went ahead and used the stove without his consent... " Luna quipped. Celestia blinked a few times.

"Good point....pass me those cookies."

...

After about 45 minutes I was finally finished. Drenched in sweat I returned the mower to my garage and made sure my shirt was back on before I entered the house. I let out a relieved breath as the cold air conditioning hit me.

*Dora the Explorer theme song plays*

"..."

Am I seriously hearing this right now?

*I'm a map! I'm a map I'm a map!*

Yep, she's watching fucking Dora! I immediately lost my shit and started laughing my ass off as I walked towards Twilight.

"Twilight..."

"Hm?"

"Why the fuck are you watching Dora?"

"It was in the education catagoy!"

"Of all the educational things you could be watching, you choose this? You know there's better channels." I said as I grabbed the remote.

"Hey!" She exclaimed in annoyance from me snatching.

"You're watching a kids show!"

"Oh...."

"Let me show you something you'd like..." I said as I went to the TV guide.

"Like the HISTORY channel..." I said as I pressed the numbers and switched to a documentary about the Internet. Twilight's eyes lit up and I continued

"....Or the DISCOVERY channel..." I muttered as I switched to one of those random nature shows. Twilight once again got excited.

"....Hell...you could even watch the military channel!" I quipped as I switched to one of those shows that talks about the army doing typical army shit.

"Ooh! I like that one!" Luna said as she watched a bunch of guys training.

"Yeah yeah... hey what the are you doing?" I said as I stared at Luna, chowing down on my chips. Luna immediately froze and smiled nevously. Celestia frowned, glaring at her sister.

"See! I told you he might get ups-"

"Did you have to eat those too?" I interrupt as I pointed to Celestia. Now it was her turn to look like a deer in headlights.

"I was going to make the cake for you guys but now..." I started to say. Celestia's ears flapped down and she rushed over to me.

"I'm sorry! I wont eat anymore!" She cried out as she stuffed the cookies into my arms. I handed them back to her and deadpanned.

"I was kidding. I bought most of those for you guys anyway." I reminded. The sisters smiled in relief and continued chowing down.

"Just try and save me some..." I added.

"Oh...too late..." Celestia said with a nervous smile as she revealed the empty pack of cookies. I facepalmed and began to walk up the stairs.

"Where are you going? " Cadance asked.

"Upstairs..."

"To do what?"

"Things..."

"What things?'

"A shower..."

"Oh can I hel-"

"NO!!" I snapped as I walked back up the stairs. Jeez, why the hell is she on my dick about everything today? It's starting to creep me out. I went in my room and closed the door, then I walked into the bathroom to shower.

...

"Were you seriously going to help with his shower?" Celestia asked Cadence with a deadpan expression.

"What? How was I supposed to know humans don't shower together like we do?" Cadance said innocently. Then she slowly tried to creep up the stairs.

"And where do you think you're going young mare?" Celestia said from the couch.

"Um...to use the bathroom..." Cadance lied.

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you were going to... snoop on our host." She started to say.

"Oh no! Of course not! I would never do that!" Cadance said with a toothy grin.

"Uh huh...sure you wouldn't..." Celestia said in disbelief.

"Never ever!"

"Does never ever mean 5 minutes ago? Because I recall you staring out of the window..."

"Sister, just let the poor mare go already" Luna cut in.

"Fine. Don't do anything you'll regret dear..." Celestia warned.

"I will! oops I mean I won't!"

...

I stepped out of the shower and threw a towl on. Man I feel so much better! Showers fix everything! I walked out of my bathroom and into my bedroom. I don't plan on going outside, so I'll wear something casual like some sweats and a t-shirt. As I dropped my towl and dug in my drawer for my clothes. I saw something pink in the corner of my eye, but When I turned to look all I saw was a bright flash. Hmmm....that was weird...

...

Cadance suddenly appeared on the couch next to Celestia, breathing heavily. Her face was bright red and her wings were erect.

"He didn't catch you snooping did he?" Celestia said without even looking at her.

"I hope not..."

"So you just admitted that you were snooping!"

"I regret nothing"

...

I came down the stairs and sighed happily.

"I feel refreshed!" I said with a stretch. When Twilight noticed me she ran over to me.

"Can I use this device?" She asked, holding up my tablet with her...magic.

"Um...Sure" I muttered as I unlocked it and temporarily removed the password. "What are you using it for anyway? I don't have any ebooks..."

"I'm curious about this... internet thing that people on TV and books keep mentioning." She said.

"Alright then Twilight, you're in for a trip..." I said as I tapped the chrome app.

"What's Google?" She asked.

"A search engine. You can basically find anything on it"

"ANYTHING?" Twilight said her eyes brightening again.

"Yeah, just type something in like this..." I muttered as I typed in potatoes as just a random search. Twilight's head almost exploded when she saw the plentiful results come up, detailing everything about potatoes, including nutritional value, country of origin and even pictures and various uses/ recipies.

"I have no words for this..." She whispered. Then she started typing in random shit. Why do I feel like I'm going to regret letting her use this? Well I suppose its better than her moping around and watching fucking kids shows. I looked over to Celestia and Luna, they seemed to just be ingrossed in the TV, while Cadance looked like she was going to have a heat stroke.

"Hey are you alright?" I asked.

"I still regret nothing..." She muttered without looking at me.

"Ok..." I said sheepishly as I walked away to the kitchen. I took out milk, eggs, baking soda, shit like that. I turned around to get something else for the cake and Celestia was in my face, making me jump. "What the fuck!?" I exclaimed.

"Are you making the cake now?" Celestia said with a straight face.

"No, I just wanted to take the time to shove baking soda and raw eggs down my throat." I said sarcastically. A ghost of a smile formed on her face. I shook my head and got the rest of the stuff out and I noticed she was still there.

"What are you doing?"

"Watching you bake the cake"

"You're seriously going to stand there and watch the whole time?"

"I have nothing better to do."

"Fine...you can lick the spoon or bowl or something."

"Yay!"

...

"The oven will stop when its supposed to, you don't have to watch the damn thing!" I said with irritation.

"Are you sure?" Celestia said, her face pressed firmly on the oven door.

"Yes, stalk the cake any longer and it will get a retraining order on you." I joked as I pushed her muzzle away from the oven. This girl has a severe sweet addiction, I won't be surprised if the cake is half gone as soon as the oven buzzer rings. She licked that spoon and bowl so clean that I thought they were washed already when I saw them in the sink.

I walked back into the living room and sighed in annoyance. Twilight was in her own world, sitting in my armchair, while Cadance And Luna were laying on the long couch that I sleep on.

"Can you two scoot please?" I asked. They complied and scooted over, giving me plenty of room to plop down and sit comfortably....until Celestia sat next to me. Pushing me awkwardly up against Luna who blushed.

"Can you scoot over tubby?" I asked with a raised brow. Celestia looked around like she was trying to figure out who I was talking about. When she realized, she fixated me with a hard stare that made my blood run cold.

"I believe that was a joke sister..." Luna clarified.

"I'm howling with amusment." Celestia grumbled as she finally moved her fat ass so I could sit without touching Luna.

"Thanks tub- uh...I mean Celestia..." I said sheepishly. Celestia rolled her eyes and rested her head on her hoof. Note to self, Celestia has a weight button, do not press it. I finally started paying attention to what we were watching and I raised my brow.

"Um....why are you guys watching basketball?"

"Is that what this is? We find this human sport entertaining!" Luna exclaimed. I'm cool with watching basketball but I was surprised that they enjoyed it too. Well Luna did at least, Celestia was staring into space grumpily and Cadence was staring into space looking like she was about to orgasm. What the fuck is wrong with that girl?

...

I took the cake out of the oven and started to do the finishing touches on it. The girls were sitting at the kitchen table eagerly, except Celestia, who stood next to me and looked like she was going to devour the universe itself.

"So who wants the first pi-"

"ME!" Celestia blurted, almost knocking me over.

"OK! CALM YOUR FUCKIN TITS!" I snapped as I cut her a piece. The millisecond a single atom of the cake reached the plate, Celestia was already eating.

"Thanks!" She mumbled with her mouth full. I walked over to the table and gave the rest of the girls a piece each. They all thanked me and eagerly dug in, except Twilight who had to be reminded what planet she was on. Her eyes haven't left that tablet at all yet. I put the rest of the cake down and looked over at Celestia.

She was standing there, her eyes mere pinpricks and her wings slowly opening. The cake was no longer in this plane of existance, which wasn't surprising.

"So...how did I do?" I asked carefully.

"I think I'm in love..." She said, blushing furiously.

"Uh...with the cake right?" I asked. She said nothing and just slowly turned her head to me. Then after a few good seconds of awkwardness she smiled nervously.

"Yep! That's EXACTLY what I ment...." She said with an almost drunk expression and a subtle hint of sarcasm. When she looked at me and licked her lips I started to feel awkward. Something tells me she didn't mean the cake.

"Uh huh.." I awkwardly muttered as I turned away from her. "What about the rest of you?" I ask.

"Oh my gosh! This is amazing!" Cadance declared happily.

"Thou art a remarkable baker!" Luna said.

"This..its better than Pinkie's chocolate cake!" Twilight said. I don't know who this Pinkie is but something tells me it's a good thing for my sanity that she isn't here. Their praise honestly made me smile a bit because its always nice to be appreciated! When I turned back around Celestia was right next to me, sniffing my shoulder.

"You smell nice DJ.." She said with a half lidded expression. I slowly stepped away from her completely horrifed. I'm officially creeped out now. When I turned to walk away Cadance was in front of me sniffing my chest.

"He DOES smell good!" Cadance said with the same half lidded expression. I yelped and fell backwards into Celestia's waiting hoofs.

"Oops, you almost busted your flank there! But I've got you!" She said with a giggle. I quickly got up and stepped away.

"We believe thats enough, thou art making him nervous!" Luna said with an annoyed look. The girls giggled And finally moved away from me giving me some breathing room. I grabbed the cake again.

"Anyone want another slice?" I asked. "Beaides Celestia" I added without even looking at her.

"I'll have another please!" Twilight said.

"Me too please!" Cadance said.

"No thank thee, we art trying to diet" Luna said, shaking her head.

"Diet? Don't be silly sister." Celestia laughed.

"Maybe you should try it out tubby, its good for you!" I quipped then immediately regretted when Celestia snorted angrily. Cadance started laughing her ass off and Celestia raised her brow.

"I don't know why you're laughing, you could barely fit in your chair!" Celestia said with an angry glare.

"And I wouldn't have it any other way!" Cadance said with a giggle than she smirked at me.

"Besides...I'm keeping my rump nice and plump for a certain... Person..." She said crypticly with a half lidded gaze. Then she got up and started to wave her ass hypnotically in my direction. I proceeded to blush, laugh nervously and slowly walk away. I sat on my couch, hiding my face from all of them.

Are they seriously flirting with me? Like actually? Because its making me feel awkward as hell. I mean they're fucking horses! Animals! Wait...thats kind of an insult isn't it? Like if they called me a monkey or something. They are sapient just like me, I shouldn't look at them as animals, that would be unfair to them. How else should I think of them then? They're definitely not human...

"Art thou well?" Luna suddenly asked, sitting next to me.

"Oh of course! Why wouldn't I be?" I said nervously

"Because thou looks quite...hot" she muttered. Not sure if she's talking about me or my blush.

"Me? nervous? No way!"

"Thou art also a terrible lier." Luna said with a deadpan expression.

"It was worth a shot!" I said with a laugh.

"Don't mind Cadance and our sister, they art terrible at flirting" Luna said with a giggle.

"Hey...." Celestia said with a pout. Cadance just grinded her teeth.

"And you're good at it?" I asked with a raised brow.

"On occasion." she said with a smirk.

"Would that occasion be... now?" I smirked back.

"Only if thou wants it to be..." She said with a half lidded expression as she slowly got closer to me.

"Well... What if I DID want it to be?" I said, doing the same as her. We got about a few inches from each other's faces, gazing deeply. Then life slapped me in the fucking face and I realized what the fuck I was doing. My eyes immediately shot open and I scooted away, blushing furiously. Luna did the same as me and we both laughed nervously.

A pony flirted with me....and I just flirted back didn't I? In an effort to change the subject I quickly grabbed two xbox controllers.

"Hey...uh...want to play this game with me?" I asked as I held one out to her. She blinked a few times then smiled at me.

"Sure! We would love too!" Luna said excitedly. We both grinned at each other, our faces slowly coloring and our heartbeats hitching... until Cadance sat on the other side of me.

"So what are you doing now?" Cadance asked, as she casually wrapped her soft wing around me. Then Celestia decided to sit her fatass inbetween Luna and i, making us both deadpan.

"Oh are you two about to play on that human device?" Celestia asked as she slowly moved to lay her head on my shoulder. I glared at Cadance and Celestia who just smiled as innocently as they could. These fuckers must think they're so slick! Behind Celestia, Luna had on the most deadpan face I've ever seen, slowly shaking her head. I looked at the two offending mares.

"Stop touching me!"

Author's Notes:

Notes: sorry I basically fell off the earth but school and stuff. From now on I will have a progress bar on my page that shows what I'm working on and the stage I'm at. So hopefully no more "when is the next chapter coming???!" comments.

Not sure what else to say... Follow my blog on Fimfiction and peace!