Doctor and Ditzy’s Science Theater

by Rixizu

Episode 22 - Part 3

The remainder of the day passed without incident, as did the night and at least the first part of the following day. Carrot Top arrived with her cart early in the morning, before any of the Apple clan showed up, as did the other produce sellers of Ponyville that Trixie had,

Doctor: Knowing the Apples, that would be about, oh, 2 or 3 in the mourning.

Ditzy: Except Rose who refused to wake up earlier than 6.

Doctor: And good on her.

by hook and crook, been able to drag into her scheme.

Doctor: (Trixie) Do a booth for the festival or I will… tear open this mint condition, never opened out of the box Pony Trek doll!

Ditzy: (Pony) You monster! And it’s an action figure! Not a doll!

None of them seemed particularly confident, but Trixie managed to re-assure all of them in various ways –

Ditzy: Like saying that the Princess would actually create anti-trust laws if they tried anything!

mostly, helped out by random ponies passing by, who seemed confused as to what was happening but, when Trixie explained her intentions, at least put on a show of being happy to have more than just apples to eat tonight.

Ditzy: Some ponies actually cried.

Doctor: (Pony) I’ve been eating nothing but apples on this day for 88 years! You’ve made a dream of mine finally come true! Deep fried strawberries here I come!

The arrival of the Apple clan’s veritable armada of stalls, at around three o’clock,

Ditzy: Scratch that, they came at one or two in the morning.

Doctor: I hope they brought a lot of coffee.

was where the problems began, although for the rest of her days Trixie would treasure her memory of the look on Applejack’s face.

Ditzy: AJ’s pure delight on seeing chocolate bananas. Her favorite!

“What in tarnatation am Ah lookin’ at here?” the orange earth pony demanded as she stomped up to Trixie’s home.

Doctor: (Applejack) This here garden gnome. Why is it standing up on two legs and ain’t got hooves?

Trixie paused a moment as she chewed thoughtfully, looking to the ensemble she had in her telekinetic grasp. “Well,” she said, “first I started with a few carrots, which I diced up and mixed with butter, or I meant to anyway but I was out,

Ditzy: (Trixie) So I used peanut butter which I figured would be just as good.

but there was still some cheese, and what they hay, it’s all dairy anyway, right? So then – ”

Doctor: (Trixie) Then I realized that using Cheese Whiz was a terrible idea.

If looks could have killed, then Applejack’s glare would have depopulated the entire region.

Ditzy: (Trixie)(gulps) M-maybe this wasn’t such a good idea...

“Oh, you mean the food stalls,” Trixie interrupted herself, glancing behind her. “Well, I thought over our conversation from a few days ago, and I thought to myself, hey, I’ve known Princess Luna for a decade now, and I know what she likes to eat and what she doesn’t,

Doctor: (Applejack) And chocolate covered grasshoppers are it?

Ditzy: (Trixie) Well...no...but she doesn’t know what she’s missing!

and I know for a fact that if she doesn’t have anything but apples to look forward to, she’ll probably go crazy and let Discord loose or something.”

Ditzy: Little did Trixie know that the Princess was on a diet and didn’t plan on eating much.

Applejack’s glare managed to grow deadly enough to wipe out all of Equestria and a good portion of the surrounding nations as well.

Ditzy: (Applejack) That is the stupidest thing ah have ever heard in mah entire life!

“Ah thought we were on the same page here,” she intoned. “Ah thought y’all understood just how much mah family depends upon the sales from tonight.”

Doctor: The Apple Trust looks prosperous, but a few bad harvests, decisions, and investments have hurt the company so bad it can barely keep afloat.

Trixie nodded. “Yeah, but then I thought how much they,” Trixie jerked a hook behind her, at the vendors who were trying their hardest to look any direction but towards Applejack, “need the bits as well.”

Ditzy: (Applejack) Ah shoot. I ain’t never thought of it that way before. Ya’ll opened by eyes ta something that been right in front of me the whole time!

“But they weren’t expectin’ none!” Applejack exclaimed. “They get by just fine every year all the same!

Ditzy: I’m glad to see that she’s so knowledgeable and thoughtful about Ponyville’s farm community!

Doctor: Apparently having no honesty means she completely deluded.

This ain’t nothin’ but tramplin’ all over centuries of Ponyville tradition – ”

Ditzy: So… it is actually is centuries years old. Weird.

Doctor: (Applejack) And no, old Wheat Grass’s farm going out of business ain’t our fault! And now he’s got ah job at S-Mart and is perfectly happy now and everything!

Trixie pulled out one of her most unpleasant smirks.

Doctor: It made her look like a slasher killer.

“Applejack,” she intoned, “are you worried that you can’t compete?”

Ditzy: Um, why aren’t you mentioning Carrot Top’s bad situation? That might persuade her.

The orange pony backed up several steps as though Trixie had struck her. “What?” she demanded. “Mah apples, mah family’s apples, are the best in Equestria! Mah family’s recipies are the best!”

“But do we really know that?” Trixie asked, as she tapped her two front hooves together.

Doctor: (Applejack) Mah Granny’s recipe fur Zap Apple Pie has been voted number one pie recipe in Equestrian Food magazine fur 10 years straight!

“Every year you get the three biggest holidays all to yourselves.

Doctor: And the rest of the community really just goes along with this? For centuries?

Must be comfortable up on that throne you’ve built from apple cores.

Ditzy:(Applejack) What? That’s just plain gross!

Must be a scary thought of having to actually fight for your business – ”

Ditzy: (Applejack) Only complete numbskulls do that. It’s the Apple way to use every dirty trick in the book to get what we want!

Applejack’s glare returned with a force that could have knocked the sun and moon from orbit.

Ditzy: Sadly, it didn’t. So here’s more Longest Night, Longest Day!

“Ah think you may want to stop talkin’ now,” she said – ordered – in a low voice.

Ditzy: Uh, you better not push her too far Trixie. AJ could liquify your face in a second!

Trixie obeyed, but her grin was loquacious to a fault.

Ditzy: (Sighs) Another thesaurus word. What does it mean Doctor?

Doctor: Talkative.

After a few moments of regarding it, Applejack trotted up to Trixie, her face getting very, very close to the unicorn’s own.

Ditzy: Making Trixie really uncomfortable.

“Ah don’t know what y’all are playin’ at,” she said, then looked past Trixie, at the other farmers. “Any of y’all! But it looks like you want a fight. And Luna as my witness Ah’m willin’ to oblige.”

Ditzy: Fighting is Magic.

“Excellent,” Trixie responded, stepping back a few paces,

Doctor: Trixie didn’t want to encourage the shippers.

Ditzy: Too late, somepony edited this scene into her kissing Applejack!

but only so that she could wave her hooves in a shooing manner.

Ditzy: (Trixie) Pfft, she’s just a farmer. What could she possibly do to me?

“Now trot off, ‘cause I have a lot of – ”

“I am going to murder you!” an almost impossibly loud voice shouted from straight above, reaching and maybe even surpassing volumes that Trixie had previously thought only Princess Luna capable of.

Doctor: You haven’t seen Pinkie in one of her more excitable moods.

Trixie and Applejack both looked up to find a small, jet-black cloud hovering directly overhead, cackling with barely contained lightning. Standing atop it, panting heavily with wings spread wide in threat, was a jasmine-coated pegasus.

Ditzy: (Raindrops) Do you know what happens to a unicorn when it's struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

Raindrops leapt from her cloud, landing with a thud next to Applejack. She briefly turned to look at the earth pony. “Hi,” she said.

Doctor: (Raindrops) Do you want a piece of her before I do the deed?

“Howdy,” Applejack returned, tipping her hat.

“You might want to stand back.”

Ditzy: Good idea, she might get blood on AJ’s favorite hat!

Applejack glanced at the miniature thundercloud overhead. “Ah reckon Ah might do just that,” she said, cantering away and to her clan. She kept an eye over her shoulder, however – locked on Trixie. The mare had the distinct sense that Applejack was trying to preserve the look currently plastered on Trixie’s face so that she could treasure it for the rest of her days.

Ditzy: For the rest of her life, Applejack went to bed peacefully and contentedly recalling Trixie’s death screams that morning.

Raindrops’ attention was turned once more to Trixie, and she took a single step forward, though with enough force to actually crack one of the cobbled stones beneath her hooves. Trixie blinked at that. She had expecting Raindrops to be angry. She had not been expecting a pony who could break stone with her hooves – her bare hooves,

Ditzy: A pony that can break stone with her bare hooves? Get out of town!

Doctor: You should see the things Ditzy can do with her flank!

Ditzy: Oh, you just had to bring that up!

as it seemed that Raindrops, like most pegasi, went without shoes.

Ditzy: Right! This would make way more sense if Raindrops was wearing high heels!

“Weather-for-hire ponies.” Raindrops said, her voice now frighteningly calm. “I got up and brushed my mane and went to work this morning and I found a dozen of those reprobates swarming my weather patrol station!”

Ditzy: (Raindrops) And eating all the donuts Silverstorm brought to work this morning and I didn’t get a single one!

“It’s not really your – ”

“Don’t care!” Raindrops exclaimed, taking another step forward. “Now as it turns out I happened to recognize one of them. Oh yes. I recognized him – and he’s their leader, mind, of that group of…of…” words failed her for a moment before she could resume.

Doctor: Scallywags?

Ditzy: Buffoons?

“He was kicked out of flight school. Not flunked out. Not dropped out. Kicked out. Do you know why, Trixie? Ask me why he was.” Trixie didn’t. Raindrops once again stamped a hoof and broke stone beneath her. “Ask me why, Trixie!”

Doctor: An inappropriate relationship with one of his teachers?

Ditzy: Copy and pasting answers on his assignments from the internet?

“Why?” the unicorn asked, in a small voice.

“It doesn’t matter why! 

Doctor: No, I’m pretty sure it does.

Ditzy: We are never going to get an answer are we?

Pegasi? We’re pretty rowdy as yearlings

Ditzy: (Blinks) That’s news to me!

and in Cloudsdale that’s always taken into account so the kinds of things that would get somepony expelled from school down here would probably just get you a detention in Cloudsdale.

Doctor: You should have seen the type of trouble Fluttershy got into back in the day!

Ditzy: With Pegasi, murder only gets you detention!

So for him to do something so bad it got him kicked out? It’s a miracle he has any job at all,

Doctor: And maybe he should be in prison.

and it’s a sin that his job is leading a weather-for-hire team! So, Trixie, I’m going to murder you. Then I’m going to murder him. And I am going to enjoy it.”

Doctor: I’m betting Raindrops, in the Conservatory, with the wrench.

Ditzy: Nah, it’s going to be Raindrops, in the Hall, with the revolver!

“I didn’t know!” Trixie objected. She gathered a modicum of courage, stepping forward. “You’re the one who told me ‘no promises’ about that storm!”

Ditzy: (Trixie) And I didn’t want to get killed by a freak snow-rain-wind-thunder-lightning-ice-and-acid storm! ...It could happen!

Raindrops didn’t budge an inch. “So you don’t trust us to do our jobs? You think this is the first major storm to roll out of the Everfree? The first time we’ve had to deal with something like this?

Doctor: (Trixie) Yes. Er, I mean...no of course not! Of course I thought of that! I am the princess’s prized student after all!

But no, you have to go and hire a bunch of flight school flunkies – ”

“He has the job,” Trixie interrupted, “he came highly recommended,

Doctor: (Trixie) The internet never lies!

Ditzy: Curse you Yelp!

so whatever happened in flight school it clearly didn’t have anything to do with his weather abilities,

Ditzy: (Trixie) The pony that wrote that five star review said so!

and I spent just about my entire monthly stipend on him and his team!”

Doctor: (Trixie) I will have to go a month without bourbon! There is no way all that booze the duke left me will last that long!

She leaned forward once more. “You’re the one who complained about missing your weather manager, I was just trying to help!”

Doctor: If you call pouring gasoline on a fire help.

Raindrops’ teeth ground together with such force that Trixie was surprised they didn’t crack.

Ditzy: Raindrops proudly goes to the dentist twice a year and drinks her milk!

“One full day,” Trixie said, pressing what little ground she had gained. “Just one day and one night. That’s all they’re hired for. Just to keep the storm from rolling into Ponyville and ruining everything. After that they’re gone.”

The jasmine-coated pegasus leaned forward, right up to Trixie’s ear. “Sleep with an eye open,” she intoned,

Doctor: (Raindrops) I want to you to know and fear your incoming death. I want you to have endless sleepless nights, terrified that this might be the night I come for you. Eventually you will be so broken down and tired of living in fear that you will beg for me to kill you.

before beating her wings, ascending slowly to her thundercloud and carting it off. Trixie watched her go, then let out a huge sigh of relief. From somewhere near the town hall, she heard chuckling that somehow managed to be accented with a country drawl, but chose to ignore it as she turned back to her home. Carrot Top and the other ponies were staring at her.

Doctor: They started betting if Trixie would live past the week.

“What?” she demanded, stomping down the path that lead from the street to her front door. “You have work to do! Get to it!” The last was punctuated by Trixie opening her door, stepping inside, and giving as hard a slam as she could manage.

Ditzy: Causing a nearby vase to fall and break!

---

Despite being the culmination of two straight days of standing on the surface of the sun, the beginning of the twilight, about two hours later, was almost a relief. By now, the stalls had been set up, and several unicorns were working in concert surrounding the town center to create a bubble of warm air for the multitude of ponies that were even now making their way there. More than a few were surprised by the additional stalls from Carrot Top and the rest – but more than a few were happy to have more than just apples to eat, though the Trust itself was cleaning up nicely regardless.

Doctor: Well, the fact they had a sign that said ‘Eat anything other than apples and you will lose your teeth.’ proved to be very effective.

As the sun began to approach the horizon, the pre-festival spirit was fairly high for most ponies. In addition to the food stalls, there were games of chance and skill, like hoof-throwing balls at a target or bobbing for apples (the latter, surprisingly, having been set up by somepony not related to the Apple clan); there were several open areas where vinyl records were playing music for dancing.

Doctor: Like the macarena.

Trixie was paying attention to none of it.

Ditzy: She was too busy trying to beat the final boss of Bloodborne.

Earlier in the day, she had finally gotten around to seeing the mayor of Ponyville, formally introducing herself, presenting her credentials,

Doctor: That were cleverly forged to not include her last name.

engaging in light and friendly banter that served as a pleasant temporary escape from the last few days,

Ditzy: Until she saw Raindrops in the window doing the cut-throat gesture.

but most importantly of all, rushing through approval for a last-minute performance to be added to the Longest Night’s retinue. Given that the music that was supposed to have been provided by Fluttershy was now largely absent and had to be provided by phonographs,

Ditzy: Actually, Fluttershy got her nerve back and was planning to perform, but she accidently slept in and it was too awkward to come in so late!

it wasn’t hard to arrange an hour-and-a-half break from the sometimes dubious-quality records

Doctor: They were bought off of ebay from a dubious source oversees.

and instead put Trixie’s scheme into full motion.

Ditzy: (Trixie) Today Lyra doing the music, tomorrow the world! Bwahahahaha!

That was for after Luna arrived, however. Right now, Trixie was standing in the crowd of hundreds of ponies inside the town hall – warmer than outside was, even with unicorn magic, albeit stuffier. Through a window, she could see a darkening sky, red and purple and not a cloud in the sky. Ringing the auditorium were Apple clan stands, but more than a few ponies were carrying foodstuffs acquired from outside, from Carrot Top and the others as well. The decorations, despite Lyra’s warnings, looked just fine –

Ditzy: Wait, doesn’t that make all that doom and gloom about Rarity completely pointless.

Doctor: (Nods) A complete waste of time.

not as fine as before,

Ditzy: (Blinks) What? Why not?

but they had been adapted to take the arts-and-crafts projects of the school foals into account, Rarity apparently deciding to spread them around throughout the auditorium to turn the place into almost an art gallery.

Doctor: It became a huge it among the Canterlot Elite.

And Lyra was with her mare-friend BonBon,

Doctor: While her parents stood by themselves sad and alone.

dressed in a fine white-and-gold gown and with lyre slung over her back,

Ditzy: While still wearing her Gatsby cap!

ready to play. Everything had worked out.

Trixie was alone.

Ditzy: That is until Pinkie noticed she was alone and decided to cheer her up!

Doctor: And greeting her with a big bear hug.

This was a feat in and of itself,

Doctor: Ponies tripped over themselves to meet the wonderful and spectacular Trixie!

because she was, properly speaking, never more than six inches away from anypony.

Ditzy: And some ponies got accidently tangled in her cape!

But it was as simple as that: she was alone, despite being in the middle of a crowd. She wasn’t talking to anypony, she wasn’t outside celebrating, she wasn’t doing anything more than just sitting near the middle of the auditorium, next to a dark blue pegasus mare who was chatting amicably with a gray-coated pegasus stallion – he looked like an off-duty royal guard – and doing little more than just counting down the minutes until Luna arrived

Doctor: (Trixie) 102 Mareissippi, 101 Mareissippi,  100 Mareissippi,  99 Mareissippi...

and wondering how she had managed to, in a mere two days, get everything right and yet screw everything up at the same time.

Doctor: And she really didn’t expect to have someone after her life!

Trixie let out a long sigh. Whatever. This was the course of her life now,

and nothing would change it.

Ditzy: Doomed to be hated and loathed by all around her for all eternity.

“Fillies and gentlecolts!” A voice exclaimed. Trixie’s reverie was interrupted at the sound, and she saw that the mayor – an older earth pony with a beige coat –

Ditzy: It’s really confusing why some things are drastically changed yet some are the exact same despite the fact they should probably be different.

Doctor: That’s alternate universes for you.

had made her way to the center of the stage and was trying to get everypony’s attention. At great length, she mostly succeeded,

Doctor: That is until she used a air horn.

though a few quiet conversations continued, including the unicorn and stallion sitting next to Trixie.

Doctor: Trixie kicked them to shut up.

“Fillies and gentlecolts,” the mayor repeated, “I hope you’re all having a good time so far. I hope you slept in this morning as well,

Ditzy: (Mayor) Or at least had a power nap!

because all the fun and games have only barely begun! The shortest day of the year is drawing to a close, and it is now time to truly begin celebrating the Longest Night!”

There were cheers and hoof-stomps at that, but they were relatively subdued.

All: (Crowd)(Bored) Yay.

Everypony knew, after all, what was coming next, and they wanted to get to it as quickly as possible.

Ditzy: There were two for one drink deals at the local bar.

“Now then,” the mayor continued, turning slightly to face the curtains that obscured most of the stage. “As mayor of Ponyville, it is my greatest pleasure to officially introduce and welcome our guest of honor.

Doctor: (Mayor) Marealyn Mansion! (Squees)

Ditzy: (Mayor) Oh, and our princess too.

Our ruler, our savior and our protector. The Shepherd of the Moon, the Caretaker of the Sun, the Mistress of the Star Beasts, the Sovereign of the Three Tribes, the Ruler of the Land of Equestria…Her Royal Majesty, Princess Luna Equestris!”

Ditzy: (Mayor) Did I get that right? I may have missed a title or three.

The curtains pulled back, revealing…nothing.

All: (Gasp)

Technically untrue – there was some more stage, a wall, and another curtain that hid the backstage area.

Doctor: Well, obviously there won’t be a complete void behind it.

But as for the alicorn herself? Totally absent.

Doctor: Luna decided to play hooky this year. What is one missed out of a thousand?

Some ponies gasped in horror. Some ponies sputtered in confusion. Some ponies simply stood stock still, completely dumbstruck.

Ditzy: Somepony started freaking out screaming something about “The horror! The horror!”

But the pegasus pony standing next to Trixie had continued her low conversation as if nothing was wrong – a surprising oversight on her part and one which utterly ruined her disguise.

Ditzy: Ha! You can’t fool us Chrysalis!

Trixie let out a long, low sigh, reached over, and poked the pony next to her. The pegasus turned in temporary confusion, before her eyes widened.

Ditzy: (Pony) My cover been blown! Crap! I left my raspberry flavored suicide pill at home!

“Oh,” she said softly, beating her wings a few times and taking to the air, soaring over to the stage and landing there. She turned to the mayor. “My deepest apologies, mayor,” she said, then turned to the confused Ponyvillians, “and to you all. This festival is delightfully distracting. Give me just a moment to collect myself…”

Ditzy: (Pony) Just as soon as I finish this delicious apple pie!

There was a midnight-hued flash and a pop from somewhere in the crowd, and quite suddenly, standing next to the pegasus was her unicorn doppelgänger – identical in every way except for the lack of wings and the presence of the horn. Following that, an earth pony, once more identical to the other two ponies, simply leapt on stage from where she had been standing in the crowd – more than a dozen feet away. The earth pony landed evenly and smoothly despite the impossible distance of the dead-start jump, and as soon as the three were together, each began to glow with soft, blue light.

Ditzy: (Blinks) Well, okay. Didn’t see that coming.

Doctor: Is it so wise to split yourself like that? What if one of them became independent and refused to join the others?

Ditzy: Knowing you Doctor, that would be something that would happen to you.

The pegasus and the unicorn moved first,

Ditzy: The unicorn transformed into a head and the pegasus into wings and attached themselves onto the earth pony!

turning to each other and simply stepping into one another, features becoming indistinct for several long moments before coming together once more, revealing that they had become as one, and also changed in appearance slightly – a longer snout, mane and tail length longer, though still light blue, and a somewhat more slender, delicate frame. The pony that had resulted had both wings and a horn.

Doctor: In the wrong places.

Ditzy: (Luna) This is why I hate using that spell!

She didn’t remain still for long, turning instead to the earth pony, who also stepped into the other pony. Once more, they faded from clarity for a moment – but the single resultant pony was markedly different, taller than most stallions, frame still slender but no longer delicate in appearance, instead more like that of a trained runner, with tight, well-worked muscles under her midnight blue coat.

Doctor: The princess was a strong believer in jazzercise and yoga.

Her mane and tail were no longer hair at all, but rather a glowing, aura of midnight blue, studded with stars and rippling as though water catching a clear night sky.

Ditzy: Which made it an absolute pain to comb and cut!

The pony’s flank glowed, and her star cutie mark was replaced by a nebulous black cloud, but one that was overlaid by the presence of a white, crescent moon. Following this, the pony’s hooves, chest, and the tip of her head behind her horn glowed momentarily, and in a moment she was clad in the royal regalia of blue shoes, a deep blue chest plate with a crescent moon emblazoned on its fore, and a black, three-pointed crown.

Ditzy: (Luna) Moon Lular Makeup!

The Ponyvillians stared in awed silence. Trixie managed to suppress a loud groan of exasperation as the alicorn who stood on the stage spread her wings wide.

Doctor: (Trixie) Show off!

“My little ponies,” she said, her voice soft, yet firm, perfectly regal yet still carrying a slight hint of embarrassment over her earlier distraction – albeit one that she had managed to turn into an impressive display of her magical power. “Your Princess of the Night has arrived.”

Ditzy: Um, Corona. I think you missed your cue.

The applause was just shy of instantaneous. Princess Luna beamed at it, offering her best royal smile.

Doctor: Then blushed in embarrassment at the piece of broccoli stubbornly stuck in between her teeth.

After a moment, she raised a hoof for silence, tucking her wings against her body once more.

“This imminent night carries deep meaning,” she said.

Ditzy: One that will be completely forgotten once ponies start getting to the bar with the drink special!

“It is a time of endings, and a time of beginnings. Since the height of summer, the days have been growing shorter and colder,

Ditzy: (Luna) Like I’ve always said, global warming is myth!

the world withering as the leaves died and had to be taken from the trees. The last harvest was taken in as the pegasi began the three months of winter. The first snowfall sealed the fields from the light of the sun and moon, and the cold hardened the ground and turned the water into ice.

Ditzy: In other news, the sky is...blue and water is wet!

The old year is dying, and tonight it shall finally pass on, consigned to the realm of memory.

Doctor: Well, to be technical, the winter solstice isn’t the end of the year. That’s about ten or eleven days away still.

“But take heart, my little ponies. Though this year passes, a new one is to begin tonight. The days shall grow longer and warmer, the snow shall melt, the ground will soften, and the earth shall once more become receptive to your care, stronger and better for having had the winter time to rest. Tonight the old year dies,

Ditzy: Ponies were far too polite to correct Princess Luna about this point.

but we do not grieve for it, for its passing makes way for the new year, and the endless possibilities that year contains.”

Ditzy: (Luna) Though with the recession, most of you will probably lose your jobs and farms!

She smiled. “I walked amongst you tonight, disguising myself as pegasus and as unicorn and as earth pony.

Ditzy: You probably could have just given yourself a simple disguise and not gone through all that trouble.

Doctor: So did you control them all at one time, or did they have their own consensuses? I have so many questions.

I spoke with many of you, danced with a few of you, shared food and drink and laughter.

Ditzy: (Luna) Took a stallion into an alley and…

Doctor: No Ditzy.

Ditzy: Come on! It’s a good joke!

And from all of this, my little ponies, from your character and your actions, I have reached a decision about this nascent, incoming new year: it shall be a good one.”

All: Makes sense to me.

The collected ponies looked amongst each other, smiling. More than a few were blushing furiously, likely being ponies that Luna had interacted with while in disguise and even now mortified at the things they may have done or said –

Ditzy: (Cloudkicker) Not me! I’m glad I ask the princess if she wanted to bang!

but happy, nonetheless, for Luna, the Princess, the Shepherd of the Moon and the Caretaker of the Sun, had just blessed the new year due to their actions.

Doctor: And that, no doubt, changes everything! Think what would happen if she didn’t!

Luna’s smile never faltered. “Now then,” she said, turning to look at a mint green unicorn, wearing a white-and-gold dress and who was holding a lyre in her magical grip, “I believe a little music is in order for what comes next.”

Doctor: (Luna) And I have brought along the perfect accompaniment!

Ditzy: Because you know I'm all about that bass,

'Bout that bass 'bout that bass, no treble

Lyra stared blankly for a moment, before realizing what Luna was asking. She nodded as professionally as she could, before settling down into a position that looked back-breakingly uncomfortable to most ponies, hooves at the ready. At a nod from Luna, she began to pluck her lyre, horn glowing to amplify the sound – and to provide backup music despite the lack of a band. To Trixie’s surprise, the sound that came out wasn’t the national anthem at all, but was instead something far simpler in arrangement.

Doctor: Row Row Row Your Boat.

Luna nodded approvingly, before turning back to the ponies.

Ditzy: (Luna) By the heavens above I’m tired of that stupid anthem!

“Close your eyes,” she said, as her horn glowed and midnight energy washed from it like a wave over them. The ponies obeyed, and instantly they were no longer in the auditorium – they were outside, high above Ponyville, standing in the sky as Luna spread her wings wide.

Doctor: Ponies started panicking and it took several minutes to calm them down and explain that this is only an illusion.

Behind her, to the west, the sun slipped down beyond the horizon, the last of its light disappearing, and for a brief moment everything was utterly black.

Doctor: I feel sorry for anyone that has Nyctophobia.

Then in the east, the first sliver of silver light appeared on the horizon. The sliver widened, becoming a beam, then a wide ray, before finally a silver, full sphere began to rise from the horizon, bathing the entire countryside in soft light. Everypony gasped at the sight, though any further reactions were cut short as Luna leapt, appearing atop the rising moon. Despite the distance, everypony could see her clearly as she stood there, utterly still as she guided the moon fully over the eastern horizon, before leaping again – but this time, not alone. From behind the moon, following her, came a million points of light, following her like a wave as her mane and tail flared with magic along with her horn. Luna began dancing amongst the sky – hopping, skipping, twirling and spinning, a deep, primal dance as the stars chased her across the sky.

Doctor: Everyone tried, tried not to laugh.

She would wave her hoof and string up dozens at a time, swing her mane and imprint them in the patterns of the familair constellations. The stars would move of their own accord as well, twirling around her body as though trying to embrace her, and sometimes she would let them, holding them all close before releasing them against the sky one more.

Nopony knew exactly how long they watched Luna dance.

Ditzy: (Foal) Mommy, I’m so bored!

Doctor: (Mother) Quiet dear! She’s a princess! And if she wants to dance for hours on end, she can!

Eventually, the stars following her began to thin out, until finally only one was left. This one, she placed firmly above all the rest in the north, nuzzling it before drifting away, back to the awestruck ponies. As she landed, the ponies found the world fading back to normal – they were once again in the auditorium just as Lyra brought the musical accompaniment of Luna’s moonrise and star dance to a close.

Ditzy: Huh, and to think that Princess Celestia usually just gives a little a speech.

Silence prevailed for several long moments, before Luna bowed, wings spread wide. That set off the Ponyvillians, and it was surprising that the entire town hall didn’t come crashing down from the force of their hoof-stomps. Luna smiled widely.

Ditzy: That is until the floor beneath her little ponies collapsed under them.

Trixie, meanwhile, let out that exasperated groan she’d been holding back, since it wouldn’t be heard over the sound of the ponies anyway.

“Great,” she said in a low voice as she turned around. “That’s the act I have to follow…”

Doctor: (Trixie)(Sighs) I didn’t want to do this, but it looks like I will have to start with my crossbow catching while blindfolded trick.

Next Chapter: Episode 22 - Longest Night, Longest Day - Chapter 8 Estimated time remaining: 7 Hours, 52 Minutes