Doctor and Ditzy’s Science Theater

by Rixizu

Episode 8 - Part 2

Spike sat on a tree branch outside the Library, staring up at the moon. His mind was racing.

Doctor: (Spike) What are those black spots on the moon called again? Lunar Marion?

Thoughts bubbled to the surface. Why had he done it? What was wrong with him? Was it right? Was it wrong? He played the memory back in his mind…

Ditzy: It was in black and white and had film scratches.

He was so close. With his free hand, he clenched his fist, hearing the sound of his knuckles crack.

Ditzy: (Spike) Gah! My claws! I think I dislocated it!

He reared his head back slightly, freeing her lip before he drew it closer again and… He slithered away, just as his lips skimmed the tips of the hairs on her face. He hurried away from there in silence, slinking out the window to here…

Ditzy: Unfortunately somepony saw this and called the police thinking he was a robber.

He covered his face in shame.

Doctor: Now? Now after everything else?

What was happening to him? It was just like before. Only now he was more confused about it than ever. Did he really try to kiss Twilight? Was that even what he wanted? He just didn’t know any more. His mind was a mess on the matter. He’d spent too long here. It’s only been four days.

Doctor: More like three.

That was four days too many. With the shit he’d gotten himself into, ignorance would have been bliss. Had he not known Twilight’s suicidal tendencies, had he not returned and pushed those tendencies into direct and uncontrollable action…

Ditzy: Are you actually going to try to fix your problems?

He wanted to scream. He wanted to go back in time and prevent himself from ever leaving Ponyville in the first place.

Ditzy: (Spike) I know! I’ll ask that Doctor guy to help me!

Or perhaps he would go back just far enough to shorten the number of gryphons he’d lost his brood to,

Doctor: Unfortunately, he accidentally ran into himself. Causing a paradox and was torn apart by reapers.

so he would still have a home in the mountain. But he was thinking in hypotheticals, as if it was possible for him to change the past.

All: Good.

Ditzy: That’s the last thing we want!

Twilight’s little excursion backward a week proved it impossible.

Doctor: If you fail something once, obviously it’s impossible.

Ditzy: He’s actually considering it?

Now, Spike was truly lost. He missed the days he could just threaten any problem away with his dark magic.

Doctor: (Spike) Killing was so much fun!

Now the problem was within himself and what little part of his old self remained was fighting for control, or at the very least, symbiosis.

Ditzy: Oh, so Spike has a split personality now. That actually makes a lot of sense.

“Spike?” a voice called out to him from below. He looked down from his moonlighting to see the unmistakably messy-maned Pinkie Pie. His second encounter with her since he’d arrived.

Doctor: Where has she been this entire story? I can hardly go into Ponyville without bumping into her at least once.

“Pinkie. Hi.” he said. The Pink pony vanished from his view, only to end up right next to him. He jumped, no longer used to her abnormal method of travel.

Doctor: If this startles you, you’re not going to last very long.

“So, watcha doing?” she asked, sitting beside him. Spike looked back up at the moon.

Ditzy: (Spike) I never realized just how unappreciated Luna is. She works so hard to create this beautiful night and hardly anypony notices it. I can sympathize.

“Searching for a miracle.” he said. Pinkie followed his gaze and smiled. She then looked down at the open window that was Twilight’s Bedroom window.

Ditzy: (Pinkie) Did you try wishing upon a star?

“I know why you left, Spike. It’s so obvious, I’m surprised nopony else has figured it out.” she gave him a kind-hearted smile.

Doctor: Oh? Are we actually going to get an explanation now?

“What do you mean?” he asked. Pinkie scoffed at him.

“You of all people should know that I’m not as… silly as I seem, Spike.

Ditzy: Yes, she can be rather insightful at times.

The reason you left is the very reason you won’t leave now, why you’ve devoted yourself to remaining here even though you want nothing more than to leave. All these things have one specific thing in common. This is a jigsaw and your confession is the final piece to the puzzle. But maybe that puzzle is only a piece of a much bigger puzzle.” she lost him.

Doctor: Actually, I think I get what she is talking about. Spike needs to remember why his friends and Twilight are so important to him. In fact, these feeling might lead to something greater than he can imagine.

Ditzy: If only that would actually happen!

“I don’t get what you’re saying Pinkie. Puzzle analogies were never my thing.” he said. The pink pony just sighed.

Doctor: (Pinkie) You are so hopeless Spike. That was really really profound.

“I’m saying, this isn’t just about you, Spike. This is about all of us.

Ditzy: Finally somepony tells Spike that.

You’re scared to reveal why you left because you’re afraid of what we’ll think.

Doctor: (Scoffs) Really?

Ditzy: So he’s okay having his friends hate him, but he worried about what they might think if they learn the reason why he left?

We’re your peers, Spike, we always have been. And Twilight is to you, as Celestia is to her… to a certain extent anyway. I know the truth about you Spike.

Ditzy: (Pinkie) I know your secret identity!

But you don’t have to worry about me spoiling the ending. I made a promise a long time ago not to interfere with this sort of thing.

Doctor: Her Pinkie Sense can do that?

Ditzy: (Shrugs)

It was a Double Pinkie Promise, Spike.

Doctor: (Pinkie) The forces that guide the universe are a bunch of crabby pants and made me promise not to interfere any more.

I’m just here to perhaps enlighten the smarter readers, and confuse the buck out of the dumber ones in this story.” Spike looked around himself.

Ditzy: (Spike) A-are you calling me dumb?

“Story? What are you talking about?”

Doctor: Life is a story told by an idiot, full of noise and emotional disturbance but devoid of meaning.

“I’m just being me. I’m breaking the fourth-wall. Is it still called ‘breaking the fourth-wall’ even though it’s a book?” she asked. Spike gave her the most confused look ever.

Doctor: (Spike) Pinkie, this is a fanfic.

“What?!”

“Nevermind. I’ve done my job. You won’t hear from me until the ending.

Doctor: (Pinkie) The author was too lazy to write for me.

Ditzy: (Pinkie) It would actually make this story entertaining.

But is it at the ending of this story? Or perhaps the next? Oops, Spoilers!” And with that, Pinkie was gone. Spike was left there, more confused about what she’d just said than he was about his own personal dilemma.

Ditzy: At least it stopped him from his constant whining about his problems.

“Freaks me the buck out!”

Doctor: Please. That doesn’t even register on my radar of the weird things she has done.

Twilight awoke the next morning feeling refreshed and surprisingly more lively than she had been in what felt like an age. She went to stretch her body, but found herself wrapped up in a bundle of bed sheets.

Ditzy: (Twilight) Why do the bed sheets have knots?

She felt a strange tingling sensation on the surface of her lips; a sensation she found oddly satisfying.

Ditzy: It had a surprising mint feeling.

She reached her hoof up through the cocoon of covers and touched her mouth. The tingling vanished and she instantly wished she hadn’t done anything. She licked her lips, sighing as she struggled to free herself from the expertly made tuck-in.

Doctor: (Twilight) Um, a little help here please.

The bedroom door opened and Spike held in his hands, another tray of food for Twilight.

Doctor: (Twilight) Why is there a dead rabbit on it?

Ditzy: (Spike) I thought you might want to try something new! It’s personally one of my favorites! Next to griffons.

“Haha! Did it right this time. Breakfast in bed.” Twilight was unsure how to react. She could remember nothing after her second attempt to take her own life.

“What… how… Am I in Heaven?” she asked. Spike barked a laugh at that.

Ditzy: (Spike) You’re in this fanfic! How could you be?

“Please, with the shit you’ve tried to pull in the past two days, you’d be in Hell if anything. Fortunately, you’ll have to settle for the devil incarnate that is me.

Doctor: Then he gave out a corny evil laugh.

It’s like that whole relationship between him and Sadam Hoofsein. You’re Hoofsein.” Twilight shook her head, trying to clear away the fogginess of last night.

“The book detailed them as gay lovers.” she replied.

Ditzy: What book? What are you talking about?

Doctor: I have no clue.

“Oh yeah. Nevermind then. Last I checked, you don’t have a penis. Or did you change that in the last three years?”

Ditzy: (Twilight) I...may have experimented the last few years.

He placed the tray down across from her and helped her sit up.

“Spike… I haven’t forgotten what you said yesterday. Clearly you don’t want to be friends. So stop trying to make me happy.” she said.

Doctor: (Twilight) You could at least say, “I’m sorry”.

Spike groaned, audibly holding back the urge to say something, much to Twilight’s Chagrin.

“Technically, that was the night before yesterday. And you don’t remember last night, which may be the only reason I’m not strangling you right now.” he said. He smiled on one side of his face, hiding it from her.

“What did I do?” she demanded.

Ditzy: She started violently shaking Spike.

“You flicked a burning marshmallow on my face. and every time I referred to it the same way you did, for example: when I said ‘your flaming mallow is burning’, you told me not to talk dirty.” Twilight rubbed her head,

Doctor: (Twilight) How is that dirty talk?

trying to recall the night’s events prior.

Ditzy: Then gasped in horror when he realized she gave out her secret identity as Mare Do Well.

“How did I get here?” she asked.

Doctor: (Spike) Well you see, when a stallion and a mare love each other very much...

“You can scold Applejack for saving your hide this time. I spent the night over at Dash’s, getting… reacquainted with her.

Ditzy: (Twilight) So that is why you smell like her.

Nurse Redheart did as she does and nursed you back to health.” Twilight looked at her bandages and frowned.

Doctor: (Twilight) Why am I not in the hospital for observation?

“They’re too tight. Could you redo them? You’re better at it than the hospital is.” she asked. Spike didn’t hesitate to comply as she reached her hooves out. The speed of his response surprised her. As he unravelled her bandages, he flashed a quick glance at her.

Doctor: (Spike) What you may not know is that I took correspondence courses in nursing.

“Last night, you mentioned a secret you had about me.” Twilight gasped, jolting her hooves back away from him. There was a moment’s hesitation before she held them back out for him to finish.

“What did I say?” she asked. Spike loosened the bandaging slightly and began to wrap her up again.

Doctor: (Twilight) Why are you wrapping it around my head? Do you have any idea what you are doing?

“You said you thought I hated you because you didn’t find me like last time, and that was why I wouldn’t come back.” he replied. He finished the first bandage and began with the second.

“And is it true?”

“No. I could never hate you for failing. I know you tried for two years to find me, and that would have more than made up for it. But it wouldn’t explain why I left in the first place.”

All: (Sighs)

Ditzy: (Spike) I’m taking it to my grave!

Twilight flexed her hoof as the second bandage came off before Spike went to rewrap it.

Doctor: (Spike) Do you mind?

“Why did you leave, Spike?” she asked.

Ditzy: (Spike) Celestia! For the hundredth time! I’m not going to tell you!

“I can’t say.”

“Why not?”

Doctor: The author thought the mystery would be a good way to entice readers.

“Because… it was a stupid reason; one that I regret to this day. It doesn’t matter anymore. What’s done is done.” Twilight felt her heart flutter as Spike held her hooves in his hands

All: Claws.

even after he’d finished bandaging them.

“So… will you stay now?” Spike gently squeezed her hooves, making sure not to hurt her.

“I… don’t know yet. I get this nagging feeling, in the back of my mind.

Ditzy: I believe it’s called...having a conscience.

With all the crap I’ve put you all through these past few days…that aside, I can’t help but feel that my business with the Gryphons isn’t over.

Doctor: Own several of them money.

They’re not the kind to just let live those who have killed members of their race.

Doctor: Then why go back to Ponyville in the first place?

I just hope they think me dead among my friends back hom… in the mountain.”

Ditzy: (Spike) To keep my cover I got a job that would keep me well hidden.

Twilight pulled him closer.

“I won’t let the gryphons get you, Spike. I’ll take the matter to Princess Celestia if need be.” Spike shook his head.

“No. That’s the last thing I want.

Doctor: It might actually solve things.

If they come looking for me, then I’ll have to leave. If anything, to save you guys from having to deal with them. I’ll come back if I feel it’s safe to do so.”

Doctor: (Spike) I have friends that can smuggle me into the country.

He knelt there beside her, holding her hooves for what seemed like forever.

Ditzy: How rare. An actual nice moment.

Doctor: Spike isn’t so bad when he shuts his mouth.

“You never stopped caring about us, did you Spike?” The young dragon sighed and shook his head.

Doctor: (Spike) No, I’m just really really bad at expressing my feelings.

“No. But I’m still gonna be a total ass hat though. It’s kinda fun.”

Doctor: (Spike) I love being a bully and jerk to everyone.

Ditzy: I almost had hope he would change for the better.

Twilight laughed, looking back to the tray.

“Join me for Breakfast?” she offered. Spike smiled and made his way around the bed, sitting on the other side from her. She cuddled up to him and he placed his arm around her. He took a grape from the vine and placed it in her mouth. She smiled at him and giggled.

“Shall I chew it for you too?” he offered sarcastically. Twilight just grinned at him and showed him the contents of her mouth.

“Ugh.” he said, looking away. “Grape breath.” he said. He grabbed another grape and added it to her mouth.  She daintily took each grape from his hand and proceeded to tease him by showing him an empty mouth, indicating she was ready for more.

Doctor: (Twilight) Feed me, Spike.

“Where’s a corn cob when you need one?” he said, placing the last grape in her mouth. The dragon sighed and moved on to the bananas.

Ditzy: Um...

“This is going to be weird.”

All: (Mortified)

With a full stomach, Twilight was in heaven as she sat in bed with her long lost friend having returned to her.

Doctor: Good thing they didn’t show that either.

“Welcome home, Spike.” she said as she reached up to give him a kiss on the cheek. He smiled and lowered his head so she could reach him.

Ditzy: Is this really romantic? She’s kissing him like she’s his aunt or something.

“It’s good to be home. But we have to admit… It’s not going to be the same.” Twilight nodded and buried her face into his chest.

Ditzy: (Spike) Gah! Watch where you steer that horn!

“But it could be better, if we play our cards right.” the two of them sat there for an hour, just enjoying each other’s company. Spike had lost all sense of confusion as he held Twilight in his arms. And the realisation hit him like it had many times before.

Doctor: That he was so much happier here then with his fellow dragons.

His bond with her had grown even stronger than it once was.

Ditzy: Social link rank up!

He let out a chuckle followed by a single word.

Doctor: Here it comes.

“Shit.”

Doctor: There’s Spike and his wacky catchphrase.

“What?” Twilight asked. He just shook his head.

“Just something I’ve started doing every time I regain my friendship with someone. I kinda wanna go all the way with it whenever I fail to keep you guys at a distance.”

Ditzy: That and the author has a sweet t-shirt deal in the making.

Twilight wasn’t sure what he was talking about, but she shrugged and snuggled up to him all the same.

“Whatever, I still love you.” she said. Spike chuckled and grinned at her.

“Love you too, Twi.”

Ditzy: (Twilight) You’re the best little brother a pony could have!

Doctor: (Spike dejected) Oh…. Next Chapter: Episode 8 - Part 3 - Darkness of Love - Chapter 9 Estimated time remaining: 25 Hours, 16 Minutes