Hello! Right now I don’t think I am going to do ‘The Spread of Darkness’, the sequel to this story. I haven’t read it yet, and my heart isn’t into doing it. At least not yet. I want to move on to something else. I already have two other stories planned after Darkness of Love. The Incredibly Dense Mind of Rainbow Dash by Chengar Qordath and The Legend of Starlight by twow443 and its sequels Book 2 and 3. Really looking forward to doing them. Especially Legend of Starlight, it’s hilariously bad. I had so much fun reading it.

I had to alter Episode 2 a little bit to better fit this chapter.Nothing major. Just one detail, that in retrospect, was kinda dumb. You will hardly miss it. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Spike is actually a bit more tolerable in it.

If you have a fanfic recommendation, comments, or criticisms please leave a comment or PM me at my fimfiction account or my blog on Tumblr. Please NO clop or fanfiction with extreme violence. I am not going to do those. I want to do a more family friendly series and it is going to be relatively clean. Besides everyone else does them. Okay, I might do one for a special occasion. But otherwise no clop or extreme gore fics. Ok, enough rambling. On with the fic!

Special thanks to Grimm Reaper for letting me do his story. You are awesome!

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Doctor and Ditzy’s Science Theater

by Rixizu

Episode 8 - Part 1

Ditzy was lying on her bed humming a tune to herself with her nose in a thick book sitting in front of her. She was reading ‘Harry Trotter and the Deathly Hallows’. The book was well worn with use, even though Ditzy was pretty sure that this particular Harry Trotter book only came out a few months ago.

After weeks of playing board and card games, the Doctor barred the playing of either for at least a few decades, thoroughly sick of them. So after some nagging, Dinky allowed them to take some books from the library. Ditzy decided to take some Harry Trotter books since it were her favorite book series.

Ditzy yawned. “It’s time for a break.” She thought and put her book down on the night stand after dog-earing the page. She was glad Twilight Sparkle wasn’t here to see her do that. For some reason, she would always flip out at her for doing that. Ditzy looked at the clock. It was almost time for the experiment. She looked around and found the Doctor sitting in the corner reading the book he was holding intensely.

“What are you reading Doctor?” Ditzy trotted up to him and took a closer look at the book in his hooves. Ditzy tilted her head. “Simmer Crockpot Cookbook?”

“I thought I might do the cooking every now and again.” The Doctor said without look away from his reading. “I don’t think it is very fair for you to do all the cooking.”

“But Doctor, I really don’t mind.” It was true. Ditzy loved cooking for others. She had been doing it since a very young age. She had been the one to providing the meals for her father and her little brother and sister ever since her mother passed away. Cooking was second nature for her.

“I just thought I should pull more of my weight around here.” The Doctor replied. “It’s little embarrassing that you need to take care of me so much. I’m a grown ma- er stallion.”

“Oh, okay.” Ditzy smiled. “I could teach you if you want.”

“Actually, I already know how to cook.” The Doctor said. “I just haven’t done it in…maybe centuries.  I also don’t know how to cook for a pony’s palate. It might be a useful skill to learn for later on.”

Ditzy thought for a moment. “That’s true. I won’t always be around to cook for you.”

Ditzy knew that eventually she would leave the Doctor to live her own life. Just like his other companions. “Such a sad and lonely way to live. Poor Doctor.” Ditzy thought frowning at this somber thought. “Always alone in the end.” Ditzy then smiled. Even if that was true, it wouldn’t be for long time. She would stick with him as long as she could. He needed her. He needed a good friend to stand by him through the bad times and good.  No way would she let him face the evils of the universe alone. That is what a friend does.

“I’m really looking forward to it. I’m sure you will come up with something amazing.” Ditzy then nudged the Doctor with her elbow. “Just don’t accidentally burn down everything in the process.”

The Doctor looked away from his book and gave her a flat look. He went back to his reading without saying another word. Ditzy decided it would best to leave him alone and went back to her Harry Trotter book. “Are they ever going to get out of this stupid forest?” Ditzy thought.

“You look in a good mood Doctor.” Said Dinky as the Doctor entered the main meeting room.

“Of course I am.” The Doctor said cheerily. “Our month long exile to our room is almost finished.”

“Thank goodness. I’m really looking forward to doing some serious flying.” Ditzy said while stretching her wings. “Being confided to a room isn’t good for a pegasus.”

“I don’t doubt it.” The Doctor replied.

“As long as you obey the rules, it will never happen again.” Dinky said in a stern tone.

“It won’t.” The Doctor lied. Ditzy nodded.

“Today’s experiment is ‘The Darkness of Love’ by Grimm Reaper chapters seven to nine. Enjoy.”

The experiment alarm went off and the Doctor and Ditzy rushed to the theater.

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“IIIIIIIT!” he whispered as loud as he could without waking the seemingly satisfied mare beside him.

Ditzy: (Spike) Is my favorite movie of all time.

Oh, buck no. This is bad, this is very, very bad! I never wanted this to happen. Bucking alcohol enabling my idiot drive!

Ditzy: No it hasn’t. You have always been an idiot.

I’m screwed! Literally and figuratively. Oh man! These thoughts played in his mind non-stop.

Doctor: Like this is the stupidest thing you have ever done.

He traced his fingers over his scars again, avoiding the claws this time. Wait, she had more to drink than I did. If I leave now, she probably won’t remember anything. Then it’ll be my secret to keep.

Ditzy: (Spike) Then I can pointlessly broad and whine about it later for years.

Sadly, that plan was shot to shit as Dash stirred before waking up. Her eyes were groggy and her body felt numb.

“What’s…”

“Oh, GOD DAMMIT!!!” hearing Spike’s voice made her jump,

Ditzy: Don’t you mean Celestia Dammit?

Doctor: Or if you want to be creative, Luna Dammit.

Ditzy: Oooo. How about Cadance Dammit?

the energy reserved for such a feat was somehow discovered.

“Spike! What are you doing in my house?” she demanded. The dragon looked at her with a very unhappy expression on his face.

Doctor: (Rainbow) You’re after my limited edition Wonderbolt statutes aren’t you!

“We slept together, Sherclop.”

Ditzy: Um, don’t you mean Sherlock Hooves?

This information took a moment to register in Rainbow Dash’s mind. The result was… unexpected.

Doctor: She went into a full fanfare.

Ditzy: (Rainbow) I have waited so long for this day!

“Oh… okay then.” She then proceeded to relax her body once more and lay her head on the pillow.

Ditzy: So Rainbow Dash doesn’t have a hangover either?

“WHAT?!” Spike shouted at her. Dash looked at him with disinterest.

Doctor: It broke Spike’s fragile ego.

“You find out we slept together and all you have to say is ‘Okay then’? Think about what this means. Not to us, but to the others.” Spike was growing hysterical.

Ditzy: (Rolls eyes) What a drama queen.

Doctor: Why can’t he live with even one of his mistakes?

“I did. And I came to the conclusion that it doesn’t matter. I sleep with Fluttershy all the time.

Ditzy: What?!

Doctor: We never ask about your personal life Rainbow Dash.

Granted, you’re my first dragon, but you’re definitely not my first male. I’ve had rounds with Applejack, Big Mac, who is not surprisingly well proportioned.

Ditzy: (Blushes) Oh really?

The first Grand Galloping Gala I went to with you guys, I had two of the Guards the night before we left.

All: Too much information!

Then there was that Doctor guy who lives in the blue box,

Doctor: Not on your life Rainbow Dash.

Cheerilee, all of the Wonderbolts who still won’t ask me to join, no matter how many times we do it in a full group.

Doctor: They have standards.

And… Oh, Derpy once or twice.

Ditzy: That’s not my name and not on your life Rainbow Dash.

She’s pretty good. Probably why I haven’t fired her.”

Ditzy: What?! I’m a great weather pony!

Doctor: What a gross abuse of your power.

Spike subconsciously began counting off the total number of partners she’d been with.

Ditzy: Somehow I doubt even half of it is true.

Doctor: It seems like nothing but false bravado to hide her embarrassment.

“So… taking into account that there are twenty seven Wonderbolts… Including me, you’ve been with at least thirty six partners of different genders?” Spike asked. Rainbow Dash nodded modestly.

Doctor: Reminds me of a friend I know.

Ditzy: Really?! Ick.

Doctor: He wasn’t such a bad guy. Both loyal and dependable.

“Oh, and don’t tell anypony, but Soarin’s a herm.” she replied. Spike grew confused.

Derpy: Yeah, what does that mean?

Doctor: He’s a hermaphrodite?

“The buck is that?”

“Oh, right… It means he can literally buck himself. He’s got two for the price of one.” Spike crumpled his nose at the thought.

Doctor: (Facehoofs)

Ditzy: (Spike) Ponies that aren’t normal are disgusting!

“No wonder he likes pie so much.” Rainbow Dash laughed, after which there was an awkward moment of silence between them.

Ditzy: What the heck does that even mean?

Doctor: I have no clue.

“What about Twilight?” Spike asked. Rainbow Dash looked at him.

“Huh?”

“Did you ever sleep with Twilight?” The Pegasus shook her head.

Ditzy: (Rainbow) That basket case egghead?

“Are you kidding me? Twilight’s impossible to sleep with. She makes up all these excuses,

Doctor: (Twilight) Sorry Dash, but I have to wash my hair tonight.

like a condition that she has that prevents her from having sex for fear of death. I actually checked with Nurse Redheart. No such condition exists.” Spike laughed.

Doctor: No, it’s called Genophobia.

“Yes there is. It’s called class. She’s too posh to plough.” The two of them shared a laugh once more.

Ditzy: (Spike) Celestia knows what she might get from you.

“You know. I’m curious why you asked me if I’d done Twi. You didn’t ask If I’d slept with Rarity or Pinkie, you went straight for your oldest friend.” Spike cleared his throat, but said nothing as his brain worked a way around the subject.

Doctor: It unfortunately caused a critical system error and he was forced to reboot.

“It’s just that… this whole thing with her being suicidal and everything… It’s got me thinking about her safety, so she enters my mind often, like now.” Rainbow Dash smirked at him and nodded.

Doctor: Oh right. Twilight tried to kill herself and is suffering from serious depression. Maybe we should do something about that.

“Riiight. Something tells me you’ve changed the direction your heart’s pointing. You’ve completely dropped Rarity

Ditzy: (Coughs) Rarity lookalike marefriend.

and are going for the easier prey. Clever, but given the circumstances, it’ll all be in vain.” Spike growled low at her.

Ditzy: (Spike) Dude, she’s like my sister!

“Okay, okay. No need to eat me over a few choice words.” Spike huffed at that.

Ditzy: (Spike) Ponies are too gamey in my opinion.

“Too late, Dash.” he waved his finger between the two of them, receiving a similar huff in return.

“Tell you what, it’s still the middle of the night. What say we… pick up where we left off last time and see if we can beat ten seconds?” she mused.

All: Um….

Spike wasn’t that amused with her pun. He looked out the window and sighed.

Ditzy: Right, not like something serious is happening with Twilight or anything.

Doctor: Loyalty incarnate.

“Oh, what the hell.” he said, jumping in the bed.

All: Please cut away. Please cut away. Please cut away.

Spike entered the Library with a hobble.

All: Phew.

If dragons had a walk of shame, this was it. His frills were drooped like a pony’s ears and he winced every time he took a step.

Ditzy: Rainbow Dash was into really weird stuff. Spike didn’t think he will be able to look at horseradish the same way again.

“I’m home! Sorry I didn’t come home last night. I got caught up with the ‘Byke of Cloudsdale’.

Doctor: (Growls) What did you say?

Ditzy: What did he say?

Doctor: Um, it’s not important.

Ditzy: I don’t get the language of this fic at all.

She brought a whole new meaning to the term ‘Loyalty’.” Spike looked around and listened for a response. He neither heard, nor saw anything.

Doctor: He somehow found himself in an empty void.

“Twilight?” there was an eerie feeling in the air that unnerved Spike.

Ditzy: (Hums the Halloween theme music)

“Noo!” he growled as he made his way up the stairs and kicked the bedroom door open. Nothing. He ran back downstairs in a blur, checking every room, every corner and space of the Library.

Ditzy: He even checked inside the books.

He ran outside and scanned the area around the tree. He went so far as to climb the tree and searched every inch of the branches.

Doctor: Why would she be there? Maybe she is just with one of her friends that you sent to watch over her.

“Twilight!!!” he shouted.

“Down here, Sugar Cube.” a familiarly Yankee voice called from below.

Ditzy: Yankee? Is that another derogatory term I’ve never heard of?

Doctor: No. It’s someone from the north part of a country called The United States of America. Also, that term doesn’t match Applejack’s accent whatsoever.

Spike looked towards the source of the voice and saw Applejack with Twilight, new bandages around her existing wound as well as her other hoof.

Ditzy: Oh no… not again..

Doctor: ….

“Tell me she didn’t!” Applejack moved her hat to scratch her head.

“Ah caught her just in the nick o’ time. Nearly died she did. Redheart’s given her some medication. She’s pretty outta it right now.”

Ditzy: (Sniffs) Poor Twilight. I blame you for this Spike!

Doctor: Why didn’t you take her to the hospital? It would have avoided all of this!

Spike leaped out of the tree and landed with a heavy thud right in front of the two ponies.

Ditzy: Instantly breaking them in several places.

Doctor: Didn’t he hurt his leg earlier?

“So I can’t have one night to myself without her trying to top herself? Typical Twilight. You always bring me into your mess. You’re such a sad bitch.” he growled.

Ditzy: Buck you Spike!

Doctor: (Growls) What do you except when you leave a suicidal person alone? She needed the comfort of her friends and family. Instead you went out drinking, not caring about the consequences. You the worst friend imaginable.

Twilight, who had been leaning against Applejack, opened her eyes groggily and gave Spike a goofy smile.

“Heey… There he is. My ol’ buddy bud-bud.” she proceeded to wobble into the Library and take a seat on the couch across from the fireplace.

Ditzy: Is Twilight drunk? What?

“What did Redheart give her? She’s higher than the Spurs Needle in Seaddle.” Applejack handed over a small bottle of pills. Spike read the label.

Ditzy: (Spike) Happy pills?

“Methylphenidate. She gave her Ritalin?”

Ditzy: Will that help? Isn’t that for ADHD?

Doctor: It can work as an antidepressant I believe.

“Ah guess. What’s it supposed to do?” Applejack asked, looking at the bottle.

“It’s an anti-depressant. It should help her fight back against those suicidal tendencies, but I wouldn’t rely solely on it.

Doctor: (Spike) Don’t worry. She was me to cheer her up!

I think I’m gonna have to have her take these without her knowing. As Celestia’s student, she’d be too proud to take them.

Doctor: No. Twilight is a smart girl. She would realize the importance of taking them and the risk to herself if she didn’t.

But I don’t think these could cause her to act so… scatterbrained.” Applejack shrugged.

Ditzy: Somepony should get a doctor! These side effects don’t seem normal.

“Oh, wait. Ah think I overheard Nurse Redheart saying something about Valium.” Spike jumped.

“Jeez, where did she get her degree? In a cereal box? Valium and Ritalin can have bad side effects. But I suppose if taken at the right time apart from each other, it may be okay…”

Ditzy: Maybe you should just let the professional nurse do her job.

“How do ya’ll know this stuff?” Spike shrugged and looked back at Twilight.

Doctor: (Spike proud) Cereal box.

“I read some of the books to pass the time when I was bored. Hindsight’s a bitch.”

Ditzy: Obviously that makes you better than a trained nurse.

Doctor: Wait, these books are twenty years out of date.

Twilight began singing to herself in a slurred tone.

Ditzy: She started singing ‘Love is in Bloom’.

“Alright, I guess I’d better… deal with this… thing.” he said. Applejack gave him a hug, which he did not expect.

“What the…?”

“Like Ah said, Ya’ll ain’t gonna convince me that you’ve abandoned your love for us. Ah’ll see ya ‘round Spike.”

Doctor: (Spike) Accursed friendship!

“I’m a happy camper!” Twilight cried out with glee, waving her hooves in the air.

Doctor: (Spike) Wait a second. This isn’t Valium! It’s extract of Pinkie Pie!

“Oh, good. Then you can shove this marshmallow in your gob and shut up.” he said, handing her a stick with a marshmallow on the end. He’d placed one of the Ritalin tablets in the marshmallow.

Ditzy: (Spike) Open up. Coo coo! Here comes the train!

Doctor: (Hums ‘Spoonful of Sugar’)

“Stick that in the fire, take it out and then swallow.” Twilight giggled.

Ditzy: Um, is this such a good idea?

Doctor: Yes, potentially damage her medicine. How brilliant.

“Spike, don’t talk dirty.” she said, pushing against him. Spike growled low at her.

Ditzy: (Spike) The things I do for love.

“Shut up and eat, shut up and eat, shut up and eat.” he chanted to himself as Twilight slowly placed the marshmallow over the fireplace.

Ditzy: Spike did an impromptu song and dance number to get Twilight to take her medication.

“Right, now make sure it doesn’t catch fire. These things are a bitch to put out.”

Doctor: (Spike) No! Don’t swing it near the books. Argh!

“Did Rainbow put out?” Spike looked at the lavender unicorn in shock. Had she just said what he thought she said?

“What?”

Doctor: Did Rainbow Dash put out that preorder for the next Daring Doo book?

“I can smell her on you, Spikey.

Ditzy: (Twilight) I can smell Fruit Loops all over you.

I’ve been around them more than you have, especially… the last three years. Ooh, flaming mallows!”

Ditzy: (Twilight) We have..um..special meetings.

“Wait… since when can you smell other ponies?” Twilight looked at him and scrunched her face.

Doctor: (Twilight) You could have at least showered.

“I drank milk that tasted funny. Redheart said it was good for me.”

Ditzy: I don’t like Skim Milk either.

then Twilight giggled and hugged Spike. The young dragon froze in place. He noticed the burning marshmallow.

“Your… flaming mallow is burning.” Twilight laughed again.

Doctor: (Twilight) I know! How about doing an experiment to see how long it would for me to burn the library down to the ground? Doesn’t that sound fun!

“Spike, I said no dirty talk.”

Ditzy:  (Twilight) Burning marshmallows really turn me on.

The dragon withheld a groan and pointed to the marshmallow on her stick.

Doctor: (Spike) Sure Spike, agree to watch Twilight alone. That was a good idea!

“Oh, the puffy mallow! Uh, how do I get rid of the fire?” she asked, waving the stick around.

Ditzy: She acted like a filly with a freshly lit sparkler.

“Well definitely not like tha-OW!” The marshmallow had flown off and landed squarely between his eyes. Twilight laughed at this and rolled along the floor.

Ditzy: Even the smallest payback feels really nice.

“You’re lucky I’m fire-proof.” he said, grabbing the soft goo from his face. He held Twilight down with his foot, forced her mouth open and dropped the marshmallow into her mouth.

Ditzy: Eww… Remember his..um..nightly activities with Rainbow.

Doctor: Does it even have the medicine in it anymore?

“There. That ought to hold you for the evening.” he said. Twilight stood up and smiled at her friend.

Doctor: Hey Owlowiscious is back!

“I have a secret.” she began. Spike huffed in annoyance.

“We all have secrets, Twi.”

“No… My secret’s specifically about you.” she began. Spike sighed in resignation, giving her his full attention.

Ditzy: (Spike) I can use this to blackmail her later.

“Alright, what’s the secret?” he asked.

Ditzy: (Twilight) I didn’t like that one gift you gave me for Hearth’s Warming five years ago and sold for in-store credit! I’m so sorry Spike!

“Fine, I’ll tell you. But you can’t tell Spike.” she said. After the condition registered with him as idiocy, he accepted.

Doctor: (Spike) Everything seems in order. Welcome aboard Idiocy!

“Fine, I won’t. Now what’s the secret?” Twilight leaned over to him and smiled.

“Dad smokes in the carriage. Celestia is okay with it, but we can’t tell Mum.” she said. Spike sighed, forcing back a growl.

Doctor: (Spike) Haven’t you told your father to quit those things already? They are terrible for his health.

“Not that, secret, the other Secret.”

“I’m Mare Do Well. Shhhh!” Spike growled this time.

Doctor: (Spike) Mare Do Well? My greatest nemesis?

“Damn it, Twilight!” The mare laughed aloud, clutching her sides. “The secret about m-… Spike.” Twilight sighed in submission.

“Spike hates me because I didn’t find him when he left us like last time.” The young dragon looked at her, huddled up in the corner of the couch, her sad face masked slightly by the dopey effect of the Valium.

Doctor: Is that actually her reasoning or just drug induced delirium?

“I… Spike could never hate you for that, Twi. He knows you tried to find him, because Scootaloo told him.” The unicorn looked at him.

Ditzy: (Twilight) That snitch!

“Spike? Who told you that? What is the other one? I’ll get him for… wait. Why are you talking in third-person? Have you been hanging around Trixie? Was it a threesome? Why didn’t you invite me?” She began to ramble on about random things, the last one intrigued him, but he said nothing on the matter.

Doctor: That’s a first. He always has some juvenile comment.

“Twilight. It’s time to go to bed. Come on, I’ll tuck you in.” Twilight smiled at him and giggled as her head hung over his arm.

Ditzy: (Twilight) Carry me!

“This is a world gone topys-turvy! I like it. It’s like Rainbow Dash when she was victim to the Poison Joke. Remember that?” she asked. Spike chuckled.

“Yeah, I remember. We had Appleteenie, Rainbow Crash, Hairity, Flutterguy, Spittie Pie, and then you.” he replied.

Doctor: (Raises eyebrow) You came up with special names for them?

“Yeah, Twilight Flopple.” she said. Spike laughed.

“Damn you, Hindsight.” he mused. He placed Twilight down onto her bed and wrapped the covers around her in a tight cocoon.

Ditzy: To eventually come out as a beautiful butterfly.

“Spike?” she called to him. Spike looked at her and smiled.

“Yeah?” The lavender unicorn blushed slightly as she moved her eyes over to her bedside table.

Doctor: Can you sing me to sleep?

“Could you read me a story?” she asked.

Doctor: (Twilight) Can you read me the one about the rabbits Spike?

Spike opened the drawer in the table and pulled out a copy of

Ditzy: Green Eggs and Ham.

‘Daring Do and the Jade Wing’.

Doctor: A Daring Doo book? I was expecting a book about advanced magical theory.

Ditzy: Or a Calculus book.

He smiled and nodded, opening the book from where she’d left the bookmark. As he began reading, he didn’t get through three pages before she was asleep.

Ditzy: Spike was just that boring.

He placed the bookmark where he’d stopped reading and closed the book quietly, sliding it back into the drawer and closing it as quietly as possible.

Doctor: It almost worked until Rainbow Dash crashed through the window.

He leaned over the bed and gently held her face in his hand. He bent down and kissed her forehead. But instead of leaving it there, His mind was drawn to her lips. Asleep, she would have been none the wiser.

Ditzy: (Growling) It better stay to just that.

He brought his face closer to hers, his own scaly lips brushing against hers. He kept his eyes on her closed ones to make sure she didn’t wake. It would have been difficult to explain to a fully functioning Twilight what he was doing with his face so close to hers.

Ditzy: So this is going to be a Spike x Twilight story...ick. Th-they're like brother and sister!

Doctor: I might have worked better if those two didn’t act like siblings the entire story so far.

He could taste her breath as she sighed in her sleep; the smell of marshmallows was fresh on her. He curled her top lip with his own. He was so close. With his free hand, he clenched his fist, hearing the sound of his knuckles crack. He reared his head back slightly, freeing her lip before he drew it closer again and…

Ditzy: Chickening out like the total coward he is.

Author's Note:

In case anypony was wondering, the term Byke is derived from the word Dyke, which is a disparaging term for Lesbian,

Ditzy: That is what that means?

Doctor: (Groans) Yes.

just as the word 'Nigger' is to a black person. In short, Byke = Bi-sexual.

Doctor: I just love all the offensive language in this story.

Ditzy: The author is trying really really hard to make Spike as unlikable as possible.

Next Chapter: Episode 8 - Part 2 - Darkness of Love - Chapter 8 Estimated time remaining: 25 Hours, 28 Minutes