Author's Notes:

And so this is the last part of chapter 25. This shit turned out to be a long boy altogether, but hey, there's always the fact that I got to post both parts separately. Like comment and subscribe for more sadtimes in the life of a guy
Patch Notes: So Max is now Rarity's dom, they don't get together and Max doesn't feel bad about it, and Max is a lot more reserved about his suicide attempts while talking to Fleur. If it isn't obvious, then Max's increased libido is him trying to fuck something substantial into that hole in his heart

So jack shit has happened since I last wrote. Crimson’s still AWOL, Twilight and I cuddle more, and Applejack swung by to ask for some help that I didn’t mind giving. The noble party that I felt no desire to go to was the main thing I had to do for the time being and I was dreading that until the day it came. Lupa came back from hunting just in time to see me off to Canterlot, though I doubt she would have come if Fluttershy hadn’t chided her in some way. After a few words of warning about something I was already keeping a close eye on, Rarity and I boarded our train and I was already dreading the night. Hopefully I would be able to take out some of the frustrations I was bound to pick up over the night out on Rarity when we got back to our hotel room later in the night, but I wouldn’t be terribly upset if I couldn’t. After the night with Twilight and a little extra rekindling with Applejack, it was hard to care about other women, but I also really liked sex.

Speaking of, Rarity had been getting on my nerves the entire week before the party and I’d eventually had enough of it. The day before, I warned her that if I heard so much as a peep about how uncouth my fuckin’ haircut was or that my fuckin favourite cufflinks were ‘out of season’ again, I was going to humiliate her to a degree that I was satisfied with. Lo’ and behold, after boarding the train and being allowed into the secluded V.I.P car, Rarity was just a little too quiet for my liking, but I was wary of breaking her shut-upped-ittude for ‘fear’ of getting nagged. During her relative silence and occasional answer to my random questions, I scanned the car and saw what I liked. The other cars were a little too personal for my tastes, reminding me more of a subway car than a train car. However, the V.I.P cars were nice and private, and there were plenty of conversations going on that were inaudible to even me with the soundproofing materials and enchantments. It was a solid investment to get that damn Platinum Ticket Membership, I’ll say that much.

However, as nice as I found the carriage, Rarity was slowly growing more and more fidgety. It took ten minutes for her to open her fuckin’ mouth and say, “I can’t believe you wouldn’t let me style your mane-”

“Rarity.”

“Really, Max, what are ponies going to say when I walk in with the shaggiest Baron known to Ponykind-”

I levelled a glare at her. “Rarity.”

“And those cufflinks are so-” I gripped her sundress at the hem, leaning slightly forward and keeping eye contact with her the entire time. She quieted down immediately. “... Max, th-there are p-ponies-” I brought her skirt up over her knees and she set her hand on mine. “I get it! I’ll hush!”

“Can you Pinkie Promise on that?” I continued pushing her skirt up, getting no resistance from her when I stopped at mid thigh. The dividers between the little cells in the car gave us privacy, but Rarity was still worried.

“I-I… Max, you know-” I went ahead and flipped her skirt up, seeing that she was wearing a tasteful pair of white satin panties with monogrammed detailing. There was also already a damp patch where I decided to lay my finger. “Ooo, Max…”

“Either take them off now or I march you into the aisle and you take them off there with help.”

“M-Max, I-I assure you I-I can be quiet!” Yeah, but you won’t.

“It takes two hours to get to Canterlot. Can you be silent for those two hours, or otherwise keep your topics nice?”

Her eyes dared me, but her lips said, “O-Of course! What kind of proper mare can’t avoid a topic with tact!?”

“You.” When you want to be punished. We did this last time too, Rares.

And just like last time, she made sure she was going to get the most of it. “It’s not my fault that your mane-” I got up and dragged her to her hooves, then gripped her hand and led her to the aisle. “Max!” She hissed, pure perverse glee bubbling in her tone. “I didn’t mean it!”

There was no one looking over the high walls of their own private cells, but the aisle was still open and there were still windows on either side of the car. I raised a brow at Rarity and he bit her lip. “Do you need help?”

“Y-You can’t expect me to do such a thing!” She whispered fiercely.

“Then lift your dress.” Her eyes widened. “Did I stutter?”

Rarity played her part well, but ultimately it was still her fantasy and kink. She hefted her flowing dress and I cut her panties off with a knife from my dress shoe. There was only space for a few spare picks and one knife in each, and I was grateful once again for thinking to have the sheaths added. The shocked look on her face when I held up her damp delicates was pretty satisfying, especially since she quickly realized the implications of what she’d done. Rarity’s dress fell along with her jaw when she figured out that she was going to be wet and pants-less until we got to the hotel and we both knew that she was going to irritate me at some point between that moment and our arrival.

I opened the curtain to our compartment and Rarity gaped before dropping her dress and rushing back in. I followed at a more sedate pace and folded my arms while her back was turned to me. It was nice and quiet and it hadn’t taken much effort to get my peace. However, I knew that since I’d started it, Rarity was going to get what she wanted out of me or she was going to make a fucking fuss and I didn’t want to deal with all of it. The only reason I really pandered to her deeper desires was because, for one, it shut her up better than most crap. Two, treating her like my sub was kind of fun. I got to be a little more honest with her and not hurt her feelings, and plus if I could justify it as or make it into an event, I could basically do what I wanted with her.

The mock fury Rarity turned to me with was a clear indicator that she was going to swing hard for the ‘bitchy sub’ thing. “Maximus Gadai, there is- There are no words for just how rude-” I held her panties up and toyed with a string of her nectar that was still on them. “... I can explain.”

I raised a brow at her. “Fluttershy and Rainbow aren’t in estrus, and I know damn well that your cycle is dead on with theirs.”

“I-I-”

“Rarity, this is the second time outside of your shop. How many times did I strip you in the front of the boutique and have my way with you?” She folded her hands over her groin, shrinking away from me. “If you didn’t like this, you wouldn’t let me do it or you would tell Applejack and Fluttershy. Am I wrong?” She tucked her chin into her chest and wrung her hands. I walked up to her and unbuckled my belt. “How about I offer you a little deal?”

“M-Max-”

“The only way you can really get off is when someone’s telling you what a slutty little whorse you are, right?” Her eyes widened and her lips trembled. “My deal is this; You become my little whorse, or in other words, mine to use when I feel like it, and I make you cum hard enough for it to actually be satisfying. In other words, if my cock is soft and I think it would feel nicer hard, I’m gonna come looking for your mouth and you’re gonna drop what you’re doing. Then you’re gonna dedicate some time to making sure I don’t spray this hot thick seed all over that shite you cake your face with, then we worry about… You.”

“M-Max, that’s- That’s so crude! Wh-What kind of mare do you take me for!?”

“A slut willing to make a bet. If you can make me cum before I can do the same for you, then you mete out the terms. No magic allowed and no enchantments. Just pure physical prowess.”

Rarity’s eyes sparkled and she lost pretty fucking bad. I had her kneel beside me so I could have a little access for myself and she was pretty wet already. She started casually, but I had her cumming in under three minutes because she was so turned on. Thankfully, Rarity was more of a dripper than a gusher, but still. It was hilarious to me when the trolley lady and I locked eyes while Rarity was fulfilling her implied part of the bargain, kneeling between my legs to perform her task. I waved, the lady waved, and Rarity and I were left in peace.

Arriving in Canterlot was a lot nicer with Rarity having shut the fuck up for the most part. When she did speak, the headstrong, independent gal I’d known had officially gone from the prissy bitch to the warm marshmallow she actually looked like. Apparently Rarity just needed a very different approach, and while I liked the results, there was always the niggling guilt in the cockles of my heart that made the moment a little less sweet. As we got a carriage due to Rarity’s stupid amount of luggage, I thought about the visibility in the carriage and may or may not have had my way with Rarity on my lap because the road was plenty bumpy. That being said, she got off and got off at a decent time so we didn't get caught.

Our hotel was pretty nice, which was what I’d expected from Rarity. The fact that I was fronting the bill didn’t bother me, but the amount of luggage Rarity had brought along with her did. We were in Canterlot for like two, maybe three days tops, with the extra few days only being there to see the Equestrian Harmonic like Rarity had asked. I’d packed pretty lightly and she’d packed like we were heading to Russia to invade during winter. She’d even tried to get me to carry some her crap, but I’d already told her a week in advance that if she overpacked, I wasn’t helping her with any of it. Lo’ and behold, she did the thing I told her not to.

When we got to the suite, the place was massive and was most likely larger than my old house. There was a master bedroom and a few other rooms. Rarity tried to claim the master bedroom for herself playfully and I just gave her a pat on the arse and told her she could sleep by my feet if she behaved herself. Apparently it had been the response she’d wanted. While I wasn’t exactly upset about paying for the entire trip, I did expect to get the biggest room since I was fucking paying for it. She offered me a compromise. The bed was large enough for the both of us and then some so we would sleep together, though Rarity was very clear that all we would be doing was sleeping. She may have said that, but we both knew that she wouldn’t make a fuss if I initiated something and I had a feeling that she was going to start nagging and get her mouth plugged.

We arrived an hour and a half before the party, leaving us with little time to get any extra preparations done. I changed into the suit that Rarity made for me and Rarity wore a lovely white evening gown that accentuated her figure rather well. However, she hesitated before putting it on and glanced at me while fingering some livery, to which I pulled out something I’d been hoping to use at the party anyway. She was allowed to wear panties and I was going to figure out how far the range on the new vibrator actually went. Rarity had used some of her connections in Canterlot to arrange for a better carriage to be sent for us, so we located it and boarded shortly after leaving the hotel. The ride was still awful, but it was considerably better than the last one. I watched some people walk by as we ambled down the street. Rarity was babbling about something or other, which meant that I was smiling and nodding as usual, though I did pay enough attention to actually be able to respond when prompted. It's a skill taught from years of listening to people talk when I wanted nothing more than to be doing something else, and I figured it would serve me well at the party.

Of course when Rarity mentioned that she wanted to straighten my tie, I let her and didn’t bother her about it at all. Then she fixed my collar. I saw the other cufflinks in her hands and turned the controller up to half volume while making direct eye contact and she apologized. Instead of turning it off, I set it low and took over the conversation, purposefully asking complex questions that I knew Rarity would have to focus to answer. It was fun to tease her, but I had to stop before she actually came so I could make sure to do it when it was less convenient.

Rarity and I arrived at Fancy Pant’s mansion with time to spare, but when we got there I was mildly surprised to find that Fancy’s house was fairly larger than mine. He had a third story to his home, but not much in the way of land to go along with it. That’s what happens when you live in the capital, or at least in the city. While I searched for our host, Rarity searched for his wife so she could introduce us properly. I told Rarity that I’d already met her, but when I told her that I hadn’t really spoken to Fleur, she was adamant that I meet the woman again and actually say something to her. I didn’t really have any objections to that, but I wanted to talk to a guy that wasn’t Spike or Onyx for once. Fleur may have been drop-dead gorgeous, but that didn’t mean that I was willing to use my limited amount of time away from Ponyville talking to more people I didn’t want to. Thankfully, I found Fancy before she found Fleur so I got to talk to him first. Rarity fucked off to go find Fleur, leaving me alone to play with the remote at my leisure.

When I walked up to him, he was just finishing a conversation, so I waited until he was free to say, “Lovely party you have here.”

Fancy turned to look at me and grinned. “I’m glad you think so, but you should have seen the last one. It was far smaller, but the company was far superior.”

I nodded. “As it tends to be. Large parties mean that you’re more likely to run into someone you’d rather not.”

“And I suppose you find that I’m someone you’d like to run into?” Fancy asked.

“You’re a pleasant fellow from what I’ve seen, which is more than I can say for some of the sycophants running around. You know, I actually heard someone say that they didn’t like the wine because it wasn’t strong enough in one conversation, then they turned around and said they loved it because it ‘packed a punch’. At least stick with an opinion.” I rolled my eyes.

“You say that as if some ponies aren’t known for changing their mind at the drop of a hat.” Fancy chuckled. “You know, when I met you at your ceremony, I thought that you might be an interesting fellow.”

“That’s a pretty popular opinion of me; one the Princesses share. I try to make everyone’s life a little more interesting, but I don’t think this is quite my setting.”

Fancy and I took a moment to examine the garish decorations, lavish furniture, and overpriced art. Well, he looked at his house, I looked at a well of decadence and opulence. “Fair enough, I suppose. I don’t believe you were born a noble, were you?”

“I was not.” I answered simply.

“It shows, old chap. You hide it somewhat well with some of your mannerisms, but I’m willing to bet that you’ve had someone help shore up some of your shortcomings.”

“:In a manner of speaking. My date for the evening likes to point out any lapses in my manners and she’s not terribly shy about it when she does, so I try not to give her any excuses. Speaking of dates, I believe mine went off to find yours.”

“Who is your companion, if you don’t mind my asking?”

“It’s a certain Miss Rarity Belle. Violet hair, stylishly coiffed, wearing a fetching white evening gown.” I replied.

Fancy scanned the crowd. “I know her, though I don’t believe she’s the type of mare one such as yourself would normally associate with.”

“Normally she isn’t, but making her play nice has its benefits that I shouldn’t go into with wandering eyes and eavesdropping ears.”

“Oh? So you have an arrangement?”

“You could say that. She gets mouthy and I find another use for her lips.” Fancy’s eyes widened and he gave me a knowing look. “What? I don’t treat all mares like that.”

“Why any at all?”

“Because some like it more than they should, and I think we both knew that Mr. Fancy Pants.”

He glanced around, satisfied to see that we weren’t attracting attention. “So… Would you say that you’re a domineering kind of stallion?”

“I play the roles my partners want most and get what I was going to anyway. It just makes it more fun for them.”

“Speaking of our partners, I find that mine would very much enjoy you. They don’t seem to be on this floor. What say we go find our dates and continue this conversation?”

“Why, I almost feel flattered and placated.” I answered drily.

He grinned devilishly. “I meant no slight, and I truly do think that my darling Fleur will certainly appreciate your company. You, sir, are an interesting stallion.”

I gestured for Fancy to lead the way, and so he did. “You know, I should probably buy a house in Canterlot, if nothing else so I can hold parties or something.”

Fancy turned to look at me. “Since you’re not one of the usual crowd that hangs off of my tailcoat, I’ll advise you against that, if anything than for the simple fact that buying right now would be unnecessarily expensive.

“I wasn’t going to rush into it by any means. I’m not one to blow my money on things that I’m not one hundred percent sure about.” Unless it’s sex toys and liquor.

“Smart stallion. I was wondering what kind of noble you would be.”

“Let’s hope I stay on the ‘bored and intelligent’ path, yeah?”

Fancy chuckled. “Bored is always an accurate descriptor for a noble. Unless there are parties going on, most of the foals around here sit around their estates and gorge themselves on whatever carnal desires they have while criticizing others for doing the exact same thing.”

“Hypocrisy and nobility go hand in hand, mate. “ I say while thinking of how I’m about to get stoned and fuck colour into Rarity. “There’s no ifs, ands, or buts about it, which is why I like to stay in my small little town with my friends. Trouble rarely enough pops up, I have the women that I want in my life, and it’s quiet where I live in particular.”

“It sounds like you have quite the life, then. Many stallions of your stature find that they can’t be satisfied with a few mares and go overboard with trying to satiate their desires.”

“I can see why, though I try to avoid it on a romantic level. My partners let me do as I please, but it doesn’t mean I shove it in their faces and test anyone’s patience.”

Fancy blinked at me. “So what is your vice? If it’s not mares, money, or alcohol, what is it?”

“Hell, I like all three of those things, it’s just that I don’t let the pursuit of such crap rule my life. Going without a drink is hard, but sex and money are just a hobby and pieces of metal, you know? I probably won’t drink much at this party since I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings by being a brutally honest prick, but I do like my sauce.”

“Well, I didn’t mean to ask if you liked to drink, I meant what is your weakness? What makes you crumble every time?”

I shrugged. “I don’t suppose that there’s really anything that I can’t resist besides kisses, but that sounds completely retarded.”

Fancy suddenly barked out a laugh. “Glad to know that if I ever need to calm the beast that dwells within, I can do it with a kiss.”

“Oi, no mustaches! If you’d like to find a brave woman to do it in your stead, then do so and save us both some trouble.”

“Is my mustache really the problem here? Or are you just trying to get me to set you up with a mare?”

“I’m not homosexual unless I’m a woman, and I’m sure I could set myself up with just about any mare I want. It’s not hard to convince most mares for a quick round of passion as long as I don’t mess up their manes too bad, but I won’t because I’m happy with who I have.” I argued.

Fancy shook his head and nodded off in some direction. I followed his line of sight and saw Rarity happily chatting to Fleur, so we skirted around the mass of people on the second floor until we sidled up next to them. Fancy and I had stopped to talk to people while we were moving around, so I got over to Rarity with three watches, two rings, a wallet (which made no sense because there was no paper money), and someone’s earring. Don’t ask how I got all of the stuff, just know that I set it down on a table when I realized that I had it. Rarity finished what she was saying to Fleur before gesturing to Fancy and I, with me having just put someone’s crap down.

We were only a few meters away and it was obvious that we were heading towards them. Once Fancy and I were standing next to our respective dates, Rarity said, “Max, Fleur, I know you two have already met, but maybe you two could get to know each other a bit better. I’m sure you have plenty in common!” She beamed.

I extended a hand to Fleur and she took it daintily. “Charmed.”

“Likewise.” She responded coolly. “So, Max. Rarity tells me that you’re quite the stallion.”

I couldn’t tell if she simply meant ‘male’ or ‘stud’ when she said stallion. “Rich philanthropist with plenty of service to the nation when I didn’t’ have to lift a finger? I could be worse, I guess, but there’s cooler people out there than me.”

“Humble, aren’t we?”

“When you’re this tall, it just makes sense to keep your head high.” I smirked.

Fleur got a chuckle out of it, lifting a brow. “Rarity also tells me that you’re quite the mare.”

I shrugged. “Most of my friends are female. Donning a disguise to spend more time with them is my way of getting into the inner circle without forcing my way in.”

“You know, a pony could argue that switching genders as you please is a betrayal of yourself and what you stand for.” Fleur commented idly.

Fancy was about to say something to her, but I waved him off. “You could also argue that switching between personas might drive you insane. People say a lot of things; you have to figure out what you care about, and I care about my friends.”

“So you would be willing to become a female for them?

“For a short period of time. It’s a way of meeting them in the middle, so to speak.”

“It sounds as though it were a reasonable compromise.” Fleur acquiesced. “What do you do with your friends while you’re a mare?”

“Usually we go shopping or have a slumber party. Girl stuff in general that I would feel silly doing in my man suit.” I was tempted to ask if she and Fancy would mind tagging along on a shopping trip with Rarity and I, but I didn’t want to waste money and Fleur was kind of confrontational in a very passive aggressive way, so fuck that noise.

“Your ‘man suit?’” Rarity asked.

“That’s what I said, isn’t it?” I raised a brow.

“Yes, dear, you really must learn to listen better. He said it quite clearly.” Fleur added.

Rarity caught herself before she could get flustered. “You really must forgive me, it’s just that Max says some strange things every now and again. You see, when he says ‘man’, he means stallion.”

“So he said that he wears a stallion suit. I suppose that if you change between the sexes often enough, the different forms begin to feel like separate ‘suits’ if you will.” Fancy clarified for her. “It’s really not that strange once you’ve put some thought into it.

“Thank you both for defending me against my date. She’s always trying to embarrass me, one way or another.” Rarity coloured slightly and the look in her eye promised retribution. I grinned at her and slid my hand into her pocket, having her eye it warily. “You know, there was this one time where Rarity had a bit too much to drink and she tried to ‘pair up’ with another mare for a quick-

“Max, no! That is not true~” Rarity protested, her voice warbling toward the end. I wondered why that had happened. Sure did. “P-Please ignore him. These are some of the strange things I warned you about.”

Fleur passed me a sly smile. “If it’s all the same to you, dear Rarity, I’d like to hear the rest of the story.”

“I’m so sorry to disappoint, but the story is all false anyway. This is the first formal party I’ve ever gone to with Rarity, though it’s far from the first time I’ve embarrassed her.”

“Surely you have more stories, though! Any stallion worth his bits has a few good ones he likes to tell.” Fleur stated.

“How true. Do tell us something from your past, if it's no issue.” Fancy asked.

I tapped my chin. “Well, I can’t tell you much about my work as an Operative, and the only things of interest that I’ve done are illegal. I could tell you some of my life before I came to Equestria I suppose, though I don’t think the subject is terribly proper for polite conversation.”

Fleur and Fancy cast a few quick glances around us. Fancy said, “Perhaps we’ll take our conversation where polite ears can’t hear?”

“That does sound like the best plan of action. Our new friend has piqued my interest.” Fleur’s smile turned sultry and I wondered just what we were going to be doing, wherever we were going.

Rarity would probably do what I told her if it came down to it, but I wasn’t sure if debasing her in front of the elite was going to work well unless Fancy and Fleur had a similar ‘arrangement’. In the meantime, however, Fancy obviously noticed his wife’s sudden change, but all he did to address it was lift a brow. I’ve noticed that outside of Ponyville, the Ponies tend to be a bit more astute when it comes to social nuances and certain inflections. I still considered Ponies gullible, by and large, but that didn’t mean that there weren’t a few that are as keen as I am. Crimson, for one, pays enough attention to get by, but I would like to cite that incident in Gryphonia as evidence of certain Ponies not having an active survival mechanism.

The mustachioed gentleman lead the way up moustachioestairs. Apparently the third floor was cordoned off for private conversations and the like, though I could hear more giggling from the rooms than any actual conversation. I mentioned that to the group and I got a few chuckles for my attentiveness. Rarity laughed because she didn’t know what the Hell we were talking about, but it was fine. She didn’t actually need to know what was going on until someone started stripping, though I thought that I may have just misread Fleur’s look. Still, my boosted perception allows me to know how someone is feeling most of the time, and it told me that Fleur wanted a piece of me. Using the same power, I could tell that Fancy was mostly indifferent to his wife’s flirtations, though I swear I could sense some envy coming from him, and it wasn’t aimed at me. That being said, I do think it was because of me. If I wasn’t mistaken, then I had two nobles trying to put the sex on me. And here I thought that I’d needed to bring a date.

Fancy took us into his study and had Rarity and I take a seat. He grabbed some crystal from a cabinet and Fleur did the same. Fleur set a wine glass in front of Rarity and Fancy set a tumbler in front of me. None of the four glasses stayed empty for very long, and when Fancy took the first sip of his scotch, I took it as my cue to delve into some of my more exciting feats. It only took a few seconds to hook everyone into the story of how I once rolled an armoured car by hiding inside of it and breaking out of the vault I got placed in, which was an absolutely mad tale. As with all good stories, I kept the embellishments down to a believable level, though I may have exaggerated the worth of the contents of the vault. I’d only gotten a few thousand quid for what I could carry, though I knew it was worth a lot more since a lot of it was made from real gold. I’d had one hell of a time trying to fence the crap myself and had to take reduced commissions as a result.

Once I finished up with my third story, Fancy regaled us with some of his own. From his times as a guard to his moments abroad and life as a Guard Captain, the guy had a lot of interesting things to speak on. I was enchanted by his tales and found them to be quite worthy of a man with his demeanour, that being friendly and inviting. I found Fancy’ tales to be worthy of note, though Fleur and Rarity seemed to think otherwise. During a bathroom break, Rarity told me that it was because all we were doing was bragging about our glory days like old men, so I gave her a kiss on the cheek and called her my favourite trophy wife.

Rarity actually took it as a compliment. What that says about her character, I’ll not write here.

We rejoined Fleur and Fancy for some more drinks, though I dropped a hint to Fancy so that we would allow the ladies to speak. He picked up the hint and accepted it reluctantly, and I quickly found out why. At least when we had been talking about ourselves we’d actually been sharing important information from our past that explains why we are how we are. Fleur and Rarity just gossiped for forty minutes, and I was ready to blow my fucking head of by the ten-minute mark. Eventually, Fancy asked Rarity if he could show her around a bit, which meant that Rarity really couldn’t refuse for fear of being rude, leaving me with Fleur. Alone. In a secluded area. Where people were already playing around. After quite a few drinks. If I wasn’t being set up, then I didn’t know what was happening.

Fleur sat down next to me once her husband and my date were out of the room. “So... Max. You have some very interesting stories, though I can’t necessarily say that I believe them.”

I extended a hand and she placed one of hers within its grasp. “You’re a smart woman. You should never believe everything you hear, though in this case I’m sad to say that most of what I’ve said is true.”

“Sad? Why be sad to be a dashing rogue? Why be sad to play by your own rules, to march to the beat of your own drum?”

I gave her hand a gentle squeeze and let her gaze keep my attention for the most part. “Because, my snow-white seductress, there are plenty of pitfalls to being on the wrong side of the law. You’ll never know who to trust, when to go clean and when to go deeper to make just a little more. It’s a hard life full of betrayal, paranoia, and measuring. You’ll never have enough of those three, and once you get fed up with them, it’ll be time to dive in or get out. Some people only get that one chance and miss it.”

“So you took your chance and now you’re…? An Operative of the Crown? A Baron of a respectable amount of land?”

“I suppose, but there’s no accounting for the desires of a young man. Though I have to ask; what of yourself? I know that you’re a model of some esteem, but there are depths behind those eyes that no mere man would ever hope to fully comprehend.”

“A flatterer, I see.”

“And you won’t claim the same title?”

Fleur took her hand from mine and stroked my cheek. “You are most certainly wily with your words... I daresay that I’ve never seen a creature quite like you, Maximus. I find you to be a curious being.”

“That’s because I’m the only one, you xenophile.” I grinned. “I’m the only Human on this planet that we know of.”

Fleur smiled at me. “Truly one of a kind, then. You know, there’s something about you that I just can’t put a finger on.”

I held up her ring. “Is it this?”

Fleur glanced at her hands and her eyes widened. “I never even felt it!”

I handed it back to her. “Skilled hands, love. Sorry for taking your lovely ring, but I wanted to prove a point.”

“And that point is?”

“If I could steal your ring without you noticing, what does that mean for your heart?” I smirked at her, wondering if Fancy was having the same luck.

Fleur leaned forward and rested her hand on her chin, grinning. “A thief who can take nearly anything. I see why you’re an Operative.”

I smiled. “That includes people. What do you say, Fleur? Could I steal you away for the night?”

Fleur’s hand went to her bosom. “Why, Max, I had no idea you were thinking of such things! What would my husband say?” She gasped playfully.

“I think he would say ‘Hurry up, I can’t keep Rarity busy forever.’.” I chuckled.

Fleur smiled and stood up. I followed her to the door with my eyes and watched her lock it before she came back and offered her hand to me. “I trust that you know how to treat a mare?” She asked.

I rose and stepped well within her personal space. “What I know and what I do can be very different things, love. I’ll try not to mess your hair up, if that makes you feel any better.”

I don’t know if it made her feel any better, but I do know that the first time around, Fleur’s mane survived well enough. By round three, I’d gone and fucked it up nice and proper, and we’d both loved every second of our time together. Thankfully, I’d learned some shit about fixing hair from my time as Roxy and was able to help her get it under control, though me helping her with her hair turned Fleur on and ledlead to us messing it up again. Fleur would have gone for round five had I not reminded her that we were on a time limit that we’d most likely run down during round two. She was thoroughly disappointed, and that tickled my pride in just the right way. Fleur and I left the study roughly two and a half hours after we’d started. I asked the other white mare if Fancy had bothered trying to charm Rarity and she told me that there wasn’t a chance. I asked what she meant and she said that Rarity just wasn’t Fancy’s type, which kind of confirmed my earlier suspicions.

While we were on the second floor looking for our dates, I asked, “Is Fancy gay, or is he just really picky?

“Why the ‘or’? Can he not be both?” Fleur teased.

“I was just curious. You know, I thought marriage was supposed to be exclusive despite the polygamous aspects of Equestrian life.”

“Are you really worrying about that now?” Fleur asked, surprised.

“I’m not worrying about it at all. I would have asked you four hours ago, but you’re both attractive and pleasant so it’s not like I was going to risk asking questions.”

Fleur touched my arm and gave me a smile. “To answer your question, it’s supposed to be, but Fancy and I have an agreement of sorts. I do trust you’ll keep this conversation between us, won’t you?”

“Love, you and Fancy are some of the few nobles I actually like. I’m not going to risk alienating some of the most pleasant people I’ve met for the sake of gossiping. I believe Fancy and I share an opinion on gossip.”

We dodged some people on our way back to the first floor. Music was still playing, so Fleur took a moment to enjoy it over the dull roar that was the crowd. “I’m glad that you and he share the same sense of loyalty, then. I would have expected something similar from Fancy himself.”

“The fellow and I have a lot in common, though our tastes are different. I’d like to say that my interests are a little… Well, generally better.”

“Oh? Would you dare say that to Fancy?” Fleur asked coyly.

“I would. His sense of decor is perfectly fine, but his taste in ‘partners’ could use some work. Why go for anything other than the masterpiece he already has by his side?”

“If you flatter me any more, we’re going to have to go back upstairs.” She warned me, completely serious.

“As tempting as that might be, I do believe the party’s winding down.” I observed. There were fewer people than there had been, but there were still plenty around.

“I assure you, Fancy can handle Rarity as long as he needs to.” Fleur said. “We could spend the rest of the night together and I doubt that she would be able to get away from him if he didn’t want her to.”

“The power of polite conversation and social maneuvering can be quite scary. It’s nice to know that I don’t have to deal with anyone using that particular piece of leverage against me.”

“How so?”

“I don’t care that much. If I really want to get away from someone, Rarity and I have very different ways of disentangling ourselves.”

“And what would your way be, hmm?” Fleur asked.

“Cussing someone out until they get the picture. It might not be the prettiest way to get someone to leave you alone, but I find it to be one of the most effective ways of verbally degrading someone until they no longer feel the desire to talk to you. In fact, it’s been known to work longer than most other ways. I’ve cussed people out and had them avoid me for years, despite seeing me on a daily basis.”

“Ooh, does this mean the Big Bad Operative is going to be mean to me?” Fleur asked coquettishly.

“No, it means that the ‘Big Bad Operative’ might not stop between rounds next time.” I remarked casually.

Fleur gave me a dirty smile, then touched my arm again and pointed out our dates. I hadn’t really been looking since I was secretly hoping for round five, but I was fine with finding them. Rarity looked relieved when she spotted us, and I couldn’t help but wonder just how boring the past couple of hours had been for her. Just as I was about to mention that Rarity’s dress seemed like it had gotten tighter, I bit my cheek, so I took that as the universe's way of telling me to shut the fuck up.

After crossing the room, Fleur and I rejoined Rarity and Fancy. Fleur was quick to send Fancy and I off for some drink so she and Rarity could talk. The older gentleman and I grabbed some champagne, though I stopped him on our way back to ask, “Are you sure you’re okay with the night’s events? I can’t take my actions back, but I can apologize for stepping on your toes.”

Fancy shook his head and waved his glass about. “I knew that my Fleur would take a liking to you within minutes of meeting you, performed a little maneuver. I wouldn’t have taken Rarity for such a long walk if I hadn’t planned for Fleur to ‘get some action’, as it were, tonight.”

“Back in my world, we’d probably be fighting right now.” I chuckled. “It’s odd to think that I was set up by a woman’s husband.”

“I suppose it is, but it’s just how Fleur and I operate. I’m sure she’s told you that these words don’t need to be repeated.”

“I already planned on keeping it quiet that you were trying to sex up my cute little bum.” He shrugged. ”Lord forbid we give some of the folks around here any more to talk about.”

“My thoughts exactly. Just between us chaps, how was she?” Fancy asked.

Ah… Twilight doesn’t count. “She was probably the second best I’ve ever had with raw talent and skill, to be honest with you. Before I continue that sentence, I need to know that you’ll let this information stay within this conversation.”

“Of course. Mum’s the word.”

“Lovely. The only woman that I’ve had more fun with was Celestia herself.”

“Surely you jest!” He exclaimed suddenly, his eyes shooting open. He also spilled a few drops of champagne, but they were unimportant. Fancy just stared at me for a moment.

“I’m being completely serious, and don’t call me Shirley.”

Fancy closed ranks and got closer to me so we wouldn’t be overheard. “You know that I have the connections to confirm that, correct?”

“You’re welcome to utilize those connections, though I still want you to keep it on the down low. Celestia and I didn’t go public while we were together for a reason.”

“Wait, you courted the Princess?” He asked incredulously.

“I did. I met her student, Twilight Sparkle, and she introduced us. My general lack of respect for authority and willingness to treat Celestia like any other person got me into her good graces, though I don’t suggest that anyone else do it. I only get away with talking so much nonsense to royalty because, and I quote, ‘I’m exotic and cute’.”

“My dear sir, you must tell me about some of your experiences with the Princess!”

We stopped and I told him about the first time I got to lay Celestia, or rather, the time I almost got to lay Celestia. Twilight’s interference was something that I had to remind myself of. I still needed to make her apologize for that. Fancy got a kick out of that story, so I told him about the time Celestia spanked me in the middle of Day Court while Luna watched, and some of what happened afterward. I lied about why Celestia had turned me into a woman, though I did leave in the part where she forced me to stay a woman for a week. Since she hadn’t done it as a form of punishment, and I had agreed to it (As far as Fancy Pants knew), it wasn’t illegal. The spanking story took some convincing, but by the end of it, I think Fancy believed what I’d told him. I didn’t really care whether or not he believed me outright, but I didn’t want the guy to think I was just some spinner of tall tales and I told him as much. It had taken about twenty minutes to get back to our dates, though they appeared to have not noticed our extended absence at all. We handed off drinks to each other’s dates to see if they would notice and they just kept talking like we weren’t there. Fancy caught my eye, so we bounced.

He’d lead the way the last couple times we’d walked together, so I took him outside and showed him a little item that I’d brought along with me. “So Fancy, do you fancy a little smoke session?”

Fancy reached out and pulled a beautiful pipe from his own pocket. It was gilded and chased in gold and silver, and the wood was a lovely, dark ebony. “I wouldn’t mind too terribly. Do you have your own mix of herbs that you like, or do you go with the shop special?”

“I don’t know about a mix of herbs, but there’s one in particular that I like.” I pulled out the little box that I keep my finely chopped bud in. “I don’t believe there’s a shop that sells smokeables in Ponyville.”

“Oh? So where did you get this from?” Fancy asked.

“This comes from my own personal garden, and it’s one of my favourite intoxicants. I can’t promise that you’ll like the taste, but everyone I’ve shown it to likes the effects pretty well.”

“So what is this herb called? It reminds me quite a fair bit of hemp.”

“I forget what it’s called in Equestria, but on my planet it was called marijuana, weed, ganja, or grass. It’s pretty damn close to hemp, just a lot more potent.” I stuffed my pipe and handed the box off to Fancy Pants before lighting up a match. I puffed on the plant easily. “Make sure you don’t draw too hard. It’ll make you cough if you’re not careful.”

“Trust me, lad, this isn’t my first rodeo.” Fancy chuckled. He packed his own wonderful little piece and handed my box back to me. Once he took his first puff, recognition dawned on his face. “I know this herb! I was having brunch with Princess Celestia and a stack of brownies suddenly appeared along with a note, and those brownies tasted somewhat like this!”

“Sorry you got caught up in my prank, mate, but I’m sure you had a good time with it.” I grinned.

Fancy mimicked me. “I did, though I didn’t move for a few hours. To think you had the gall to prank the Princesses!”

I shrugged. “Some of my decisions could be wiser, but most of them are fun.”

“Maximus, the guards came in and thought we were poisoned!”

I had been hitting my pipe at that moment, so I choked on smoke and laughter. “Dear Lord, I didn’t take that into account! At least Celestia wasn’t too mad at me.”

“Fleur may not be happy with you when she learns that you’re the one who nearly got her arrested for treason. When she partook in your prank, she came on to Princess Luna rather fiercely. If nopony else had been affected, then I’m sure that Princess Luna would have done something.”

“Lulu’s a peach, you just have to get to know her, and for that you have to be willing to deal with her. She’s a mean bitch, but she’s also a solid shoulder should you ever need one.”

“I’ll be sure to tell her that you likened her to a female dog.”

“I call her Princess Sassypants to her face.”

“Now that I refuse to believe.”

“Would you happen to keep Dragon Fire on you?” I asked, having seen the telltale bulge in his jacket.

“... I do indeed dare you, but I doubt it was necessary.” He passed me the stuff and I made it clear that it was a note to Luna, sent it off, and she sent back a note while Fancy and I were postulating about what she was going to say in turn.

Her reply was great and Fancy recognized her diction and handwriting, so it was doubly fun to be able to share some of the ridiculous shite that got said between myself and Luna with someone else. That being said, Fancy and I passed the time puffing on our respective pipes and talking about nothing of importance. Fancy loosened up and actually swore a couple times after he finished his bowl, which surprised me quite a bit. I was even more shocked to find that he was still standing since I was pretty lit myself. Fancy told me that his pipe had a smaller bowl than mine did, and I took his word for it because I’m not about to go digging through the guy’s pockets to figure out whether or not he was telling the truth.

Rarity and Fleur eventually came outside to tell us to get our arses out of the biting wind and snow, but Fancy and I were perfectly fine where we were. My English blood offered me a little resistance to the cold and Fancy had been through worse in his time as a soldier, so neither of us were in a rush to come back inside. The estate blocked the worst of the wind and the house provided a little heat, so it actually wasn’t all that bad. Our dates, however, had decided that our presence was necessary then and there, so we finished what we’d been smoking on and rejoined them.

Fancy and I learned that the reason they wanted us around was so that we could say our goodbyes to the majority of the party goers. Midnight had come and gone a few hours ago, so luckily there weren’t many people to see off, though Fancy asked Rarity and I to stay behind so we could spend some more time together. I was actually glad that I was going to get to talk to Fancy Pants some more. The guy was cooler than a polar bear’s toenails, and far more pleasant to look at. Fleur was also pleasant, but I desired male company more than meaningless sex at the moment, so I wasn’t as excited about spending more time with her. As good as Fleur’s holes felt, I’d rather just hear what came out of Fancy’s topmost one.

It took an hour for everybody to get the fuck out of the house, and Rarity was looking pretty tired despite her claiming that she was wide awake. Dawn would be coming in the hours to follow and I wouldn’t be surprised if none of us got up until it was time for fucking supper. I left it alone, however, because she’d told me that she’d had to stop counting the amount of times she’d sacrificed making a point in a conversation to cum quietly. Since she’s a grown ass woman who makes her own decisions, I told her that I would let her take the toy out whenever she chose to fellate me. At her incredulous look, I warned her that I would purposefully forget her coat if she fell asleep.

Rarity in turn warned me that she would forget to give me my presents if I did that and I took the hint for what it was. Her underwear was one thing, but her hand-crafted, expensive outerwear had better survive my dom tendencies. Of course, I objected heavily to her using gifts that were already late as bargaining chips, but I guess finding her coat wouldn’t suck enough to make me avoid getting it. Still, that was some serious shit. I saw Fleur walking towards us and waved. She stopped where she was and gestured for us to come to her. We ended up following her upstairs, and I started to get a little nervous. We went up to the third floor and started walking toward the study, which made me even more nervous before I realized that I didn’t give a single shit whether or not Rarity knew that I slept with Fleur. What was she going to do, bitch at me? Take my presents away? Get naggy so I’d have to shut her up for a while in front of other people? All lead to things that I could make net-positives, so I didn’t really care.

Our little trio walked into the room and I was surprised to find that it didn’t reek of sex. Sure, you could catch a whiff of it on the air, but someone had been polite enough to light a few candles and open a window. That did mean that it was a bit chilly in there, but Fancy closed the window when we came in, allowing the fireplace to do its work. Rarity and I sat on a large love-seat a few meters away from where Fleur had taken up residence on Fancy’s lap.

“You know, it’s rather rare for us to have guests over after the party.” Fleur commented, inspecting her nonexistent nails. I don’t know why Ponies did that shit if they didn’t have nails. “I suppose that would mean that you two are special.”

I didn’t miss the inflection in her voice but Rarity did. “Thank you for having us, Fleur, Fancy, it really has been a wonderful time! Hopefully Max will throw a party sometime soon so you can come visit us- er, him, in Ponyville.” Rarity smiled uneasily after her misstep. She’d told me that she didn’t want anyone to know that she was from a small, no name town, despite my assurances that her status as an Element of Harmony would negate any negative responses. Hell, everyone in Canterlot already knew according to Fancy. Neither of us guys understood why she was so worried about representing her hometown, though I did mention that there were just sucky people out there that would judge her for something she had no control over.

“I might.” I admitted. “I’ll probably only invite you two and a few others from Canterlot. As much as I tolerate my position as a Baron, I’m not exactly looking to dive into the life of an Aristocrat.”

“It certainly does take some getting used to.” Fancy admitted. “I know when I became Guard Captain, I was unused to dealing with nobles or the noble way of life. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the luxury of being able to take it as it came, though I did have Fleur to assist with my assimilation.”

“That’s pretty much where we are.” I replied. “Rarity helps me with things of this nature, and I suffer for it.” I grinned.

Rarity swatted my shoulder and I leaned away from her. “You do not! Why, I’m beginning to think that you just want ponies to think I’m evil!”

“He’s just having some fun with you, dear. No need to take it to heart.” Fleur admonished gently.

“If he would learn to stop, I wouldn’t mind as much.” Rarity responded drily. Fancy and I had a chuckle at that, though Fleur narrowed her eyes at her tone.

“Perhaps a sense of humour would do the world at large a little good? It would seem that some ponies don’t know how to have fun anymore.” Fleur stated, her tone icy and unwelcoming.

Rarity missed it by a mile, just like she missed me putting my hand in my jacket pocket. “Well, I do agree that~” Her eyes shot open. “I-I- Uh… Will you ex-”

I turned the volume up a little higher and feigned concern when she sat back and held her fists in her lap. “Oh, are you alright, Rarity? You seem a little shaky, Bonny, maybe you should sit back and let me get you a drink?”

She found her voice when I took it down from five to three and said, “I-I might need to have a lie down. Don’t- Don’t you think it’s rather late,” I bumped her up three notches, “M~ax?”

Fleur raised a brow. “Are you well, Rarity? It is awfully late. You and Max are welcome to stay here since the carriages are unlikely to be running. Even in Canterlot, the streets can be a touch dangerous at night.”

Rarity shivered while I made a show of hesitating to answer. “I think I’d prefer to stay in the safety and company of friends for the night. What about you, Rarity?”

I toyed with the remote while she shuddered and I was sure that she came, not able to formulate a response in time before Fleur asked, “I think it might be best if you took a rest in one of our rooms. Shall I lead you to one?”

Rarity agreed gratefully, but I came along and Fleur went back to Fancy while Rarity desperately tried to get me to cum down her throat. When I finally sprayed a load all over her face and makeup, the mare breathed a sigh of relief, scooped it all off a little bit at a time to enjoy, and then cleaned the toy off herself and promptly passed out. When I went back to Fleur and Fancy, they’d been talking about just how sexually deviant I was and how hilarious they found it, which was alright by me. When I knocke and re-entered with a satisfied look on my face, Fancy and Fleur just raised their brows.

I shrugged. “What? She gets mouthy if you don’t shut her up.”

Fleur rose after I sat and came to enjoy the company of my lap. “My, my, Maximus, I could practically hear her heart leap out of her chest! What manner of delicious little device did you affix to her?”

“Ah, nothing too creative or interesting. Just a little something that would liven up her life from the inside with a controller I can hold onto.”

Fancy chuckled. “It was dastardly of you to not let her take it out, then. The woman was shaking and quaking through half of our walk.”

“I figured, but it was funny and she agreed to it.” I lightly stroked Fleur’s back and asked, “Say, you Ponies know each other’s age’s on sight, right?”

Fleur made a curious noise. “I never really thought about it, but that would seem to be the case. Unless a mare uses certain products, it doesn’t particularly matter how young she actually looks.”

“Right. That being said, how old are you two? I have no clue, so I think it’s only fair that we even the playing field a little.”

Fancy chuckled. “I’m fifty-one, and I do think I’ll have a smoke. Do you care to join me, Max?”

“I do indeed. No offence to your minty blend, but my sour dank just captures my attention better.”

“I believe I’ve had enough for the time being, but I would like Fleur to try some if you don’t mind.” Fancy replied.

“Not at all.”

I got everything set up for her and Fleur took a hit. “It’s better than your usual blend,” She stated neutrally. “What’s this called again?”

“Muhfuckin’ dank, but also weed. I’d say I grow it myself, but I have a gardener who takes care of my plants when I don’t feel like doing it.” Which is pretty much all the time.

Fleur took another puff and frowned at the pipe. “It’s awfully strong, isn’t it? I think I’m beginning to get a little light-headed.

“That’s the point of smoking it. It induces lightheadedness.” I answered with a grin, rubbing her thigh. Fleur looked at Fancy and he nodded, so she shrugged and puffed away. She got awfully cuddly by the time she finished the bowl, and was a little less talkative. However, she was still aware and seemed to enjoy my casual ministrations.

“There are definitely worse herbs out there. I feel lovely.” She nuzzled me, though I wasn’t about to complain.

I packed my pipe and started puffing on it. ”So how did you two meet?” I asked once I got my shit lit.

“Oh, please dear?” Fleur asked, batting her eyelashes at Fancy.

He rolled his eyes and patted her thigh. “Go on.

Fleur’s smile grew brighter. “I met Fancy when he was still just a member of the Guard and I was still in Magic School. I was a young filly, and he was the most dashing stallion I’d ever seen.” She said sweetly. “I’ll never forget the day my class went on a field trip to see the guard’s Training Grounds. Fancy was standing there, clashing with one of his fellow guards during a sparring match. The way he moved, just carrying every ounce of that amazing, warrior’s grace! I still remember the way his mane stuck to his face, the sound of his sword clashing against that other stallion’s-”

“Stone’s Throw was a mare, dear. And she was a buffalo, actually,” Fancy corrected.

“Hush and let me tell the story, will you?” Fleur asked, giving Fancy a pout that she was probably too old to be using.

Fancy gestured for her to go on, and so she did. “As I was saying, I can still see the way the sweat gleamed from his muscles when I look at him.” Fancy rolled his eyes again and smiled. “From that day on, I’d always had a massive crush on him.”

“I accidentally had her arrested because of that crush, once upon a time.” Fancy stated.

“It was just a simple misunderstanding.” Fleur said quickly.

Fancy wiggled his mustache and I saw the gleam in his eye. “She was around say… sixteen, and was trying to sneak into my apartment to get… Wait, what were you looking for?” Fleur looked away from him and muttered something. “What was that, dear?” Fancy asked.

“I said that I was looking for the shirt you’d worn while sparring that day.” Fleur admitted. Her face was bright red. “I was young and in love! You can’t possibly hold that against me!”

“You know I don’t, my sweet flower,” I withheld a chuckle as Fancy patronized her brutally, “because you don’t hold what I did when I caught you against me.”

“What did you do?” I asked, smiling.

Fleur answered. “He tied me up and held me at sword-point until some of his friends that were on duty showed up!”

Fancy chuckled and played with his mustache. “It wasn’t one of my better moments, but I had just gotten back from escorting an ambassador into Catro, and things went terribly for pretty much the entire. I almost got stabbed by a Cat around Fleur’s age while I was there, so I wasn’t willing to take any risks when I got home.”

“I’d noticed that he was gone the day that he left.” Fleur said proudly.

Goddamn… It’s… It’s actually heartbreaking to know you guys didn’t mean a damn word. “How astute of you, though I’m sure Fancy didn’t necessarily feel the same way.”

“If she was older, I would have filed a restraining order.” Fancy said flatly. “Luckily for both of us, I went to talk to her after she got arrested and she told me everything about myself. I was a little amazed-”

“And a little creeped out.” I added.

Fleur looked offended. “I’m quite sure that nothing I did was creepy!” Fancy just pursed his lips and looked down, finding particular interest in his bourbon. Fleur made a noise of offense. “Fancy Pants, you tell him that I wasn’t being creepy or else!”

“Or else what?” I challenged. When I realized what I’d said, I blinked. “Sorry, I’m so used to being the one in trouble that it just kinda came out.”

“It’s the stallions curse, old chap.” Fancy chuckled. “For the record, however, I thought it was very romantic of Fleur to pursue me as she did.”

I lifted my brows. “Right.”

Fancy shook his head. “Maximus, if looks could kill, the mare next to you could quite possibly be genocidal.”

“Remember that you do live in this house by my side, Fancy Monocle Pants.” Fleur warned.

He chuckled. “I think we may have to take you to see a certain Shining Armour, because you are simply killing me, my darling.”

Fleur pulled some pouty eyes at me. “What about you, Max? Would you let this mean old stallion take little old me and throw me in jail?”

“You? Fleur, the things you do to a man should be illegal. God forbid a limp-dick like Shining try to arrest you though.”

Fleur giggled. “Well, Max, it would seem there’s little love lost between you.”

I shrugged and tickled Fleur’s side because I could, getting her to wiggle and squirm in a manner most enjoyable. “I’ve met the rest of his family. The Twilight’s are both lovely women and his father’s alright once you’re in cahoots with his wife and daughter, it’s just that Shining really sucks.”

Fancy nodded along, grinning in amusement while Fleur held my hands and ‘guided’ them to her thighs. I say that because I was aiming for her mid-thigh and she had other ideas. Fancy didn’t seem to mind, like the voyeur he was at heart. It was easy to see in his eyes once the thought crossed my mind, but apparently he sought men and was happy to be an audience for a hetero pairing.

I’d never thought to ask any gay people if they watched straight porn and I assumed straight people that watched gay porn either watched the opposite sex or were bi. It was interesting in its own right, but we continued the conversation once Fleur got my hands to cease. For the most part.

When Fleur had my hands stilled, she said, “You’re an awful distraction, you know? You could at least empty your pockets before you become a mare’s throne, yes?”

I let my hands wander. “You could have a little more padding if you’re going to be using me as a throne. Lord knows it would look nicer on you than me.”

She gave me a severe look in jest. “Are you trying to say something?”

“That your arse is the softest part of you and the rest is somewhere between slender and slim?”

“Are you saying I have a big flank, Maximus?”

“I’m saying it’s luxuriant, but you yourself are callipygean.”

“And you, Maximus, might just get lucky again~” She leaned in to kiss my cheek and I squeezed her upper thigh. “Ara ara~”

I chuckled. “What language was that?”

“Nipponese. It means ‘Oh my’.”

“Language lessons with a lovely lady? Sign me up any day.”

She shrugged. “Maybe another time. I’m ready for a bath and I have no clue whether or not I’ll be up for a chat afterwards.”

“I do say that I could stand to bathe myself. I do find a nice bath after a long party to be an even better method of relaxation myself.”

“Oh, Dear, you wouldn’t mind if I showed Maximus to one of the guest bathrooms, would you? I doubt he and Rarity thought to bring a change of clothes, so I’ll take her one of the dresses I wore when that spell went wrong.”

I raised a brow. “Are you saying that my supple-yet-firm flower was once a little fluffier?”

“Literally, yes. I was trying to make my coat softer.”

“Feels like it worked to me.” I stroked her arm and felt her breathing hitch when I noticed a bump and traced over it again.

It was less of a bump than a line and Fleur knew that I was aware of it. “On second thought-”

Maybe we can help each other. “Can I talk to you for a moment? Before we get the bathing and the scrubbing and the rub-a-dub-dubbing out of the way?”

She gave me a tight smile. “... Of course. If you’ll excuse us, Dearest.”

Fancy’s gaze was calculating, but I wasn’t trying to take his wife from him, however little it might have affected him. “I’m sure you two have much to discuss. If it’s all the same to you, I think I’ll just retire for the night.”

“Take it easy, Fancy.”

“I’ll see you in the morning, Dearest.”

“Until then, my darling.” He gave us a nod and headed out.

Fleur waited until he was out of the room to sigh and get up, or at least she tried. I held her down and she gave me a sorrowful grin that I met with one of my own. “When the scars don’t fade, it’s a lot harder to pretend they aren’t there.”

She stared at me. “Oh… I um… Well, no, Fancy doesn’t abuse me, I did it to myself in a moment of weakness.”

“I figured.”

“... This was not the conversation I was anticipating.” She looped her arm around my shoulders and scooted a little so that she wasn’t on top of my rod. “Max… Are you saying that you struggle with the darkness inside too?”

“More than I used to.”

Fleur stroked my cheek. “... How many times have you tried?”

“Shit, um… A lot, to be honest with you. The longest I ever managed to black out after trying was a few hours. Woke up after eating rat poison, puked, and went about my day as normal.”

“... You’ve tried a lot of ways, haven’t you?”

“None of them work.”

“Max…”

“Honestly, I was more worried about you, Fleur-”

“Max, my scars are from when I was still an Operative over a decade ago… I never saw anything on you that didn’t look like it could be explained with a rough mission.”

I chuckled at that and laid my head on her shoulder. “That’s what I tell everyone the new ones are from… Just lie and say that the ones that look fresh are just agitated and will fade in time… When your scars just keep healing, you have to cut in the same place to keep the ruse up in the first place and then there’s always that knowledge that you need to stop, it’s just…”

“It’s hard to leave what you know, what makes it a little more bearable on a day by day basis… How do you cope?”

“Drinking. Staying drunk in general or staying high off of my herbs. Living in a fog makes it a lot more bearable, but the fog is still the fog.”

“It always feels like you’re living half a life because you can hardly remember anything and everything is bland and colourless.”

“Nothing feels the same and happiness is fleeting.”

“The numbness starts to hurt too and you don’t know what’s better; the empty feeling that’s like being hungry all the time or being overwhelmed, but having the energy to live your life.” I nestled my head into the curve of her neck and Fleur held me of her own accord. “... It’s tiring to be tired all the time.”

“Yeah… I just-”

“Max, I’m over forty. I know an aching heart when I see one and I know a good stallion when I see one. You’ve got both of those qualities and I hate to see it in someone as young as yourself…”

“You’re over fuckin’ forty? That’s a shocker, I wouldn’t have put you much over twenty-eight or so.”

She gave me a look. “Thank you, but-”

“Also explains why I was so attracted to you though. There’s something to be said about a mature woman.”

“Now you’re trying to charm me.”

“I can’t help you, so maybe I can treat you like a lady and wash your back?”

She narrowed her eyes at me. “You’re a joke book written in dark humour translated into Prench and Germaneighese in the same pages.”

“Thanks?”

“You’re welcome. Are you going to talk to someone about the pull of the darkness, Max? Or do I have to whisper in a mean mare’s ear?”

I started tickling her and teased her by way of answering, to which Fleur told me that she was going to tell on me. There were no shits given and I picked her up before walking out of the room. Fleur let me know that she could probably teleport us to my hotel and back once as we were about to open the door, but then she got hit with it as a bleary Rarity came blundering in. Apparently she wasn’t trying to sleep in such a nice gown, but she was also without makeup and I found that absolutely lovely. Fleur and I asked Rares what she wanted, she told us, and we teleported to the right place after I put Fleur down. It was a quick trip, though my companion mentioned that she’d been to that particular suite before and that there was plenty to do if I wanted to come back and just relax. I mentioned that I might have Rarity wear a tail for me and Fleur got a chuckle out of it, initiating the delayed round five. And six. And when she failed to teleport while my rod was up her arse, round seven. The sun was shining by the time we got back and I was reeking of sweat, but I was also feeling pretty good for once.

Rarity accepted her nightgown when we got back and almost fell asleep before she got back up to go to bed. She’d passed out by the time we’d got back and was happy to go back to sleep, though that just meant that I was fucking Fleur again, but this time it was all anal and she pulled off some creative manoeuvres so that I wouldn’t have to pull out. Fleur was fucking fun, but even we had to sleep at some point. I actually fell asleep right after the second load I lent to her mouth and woke up to find that was inside her. The clock that was dutifully ticking on my side of the guest bed told me that it was well past noon and that I’d only slept about five hours. I closed my eyes, pulled Fleur closer, and soaked in the feeling of not having woken up from nightmares.

If it weren’t for the fact that she was married, I wouldn’t have minded getting to know Fleur for a more romantic interaction. She was clever to be sure, and her intelligence in general was grounded in both academics and real-world experience. She was also every bit as hot as Rarity, and as I thought about it, I wondered what the other white meat was doing. Well, at this point in my life she’s like, one of three pieces of white-coated Ponies I’ve boned, but that’s not important. Instead of immediately getting up to sate my curiosity, something else was already awake and if the milking sensation and slow grinding going on was any indicator, then I was going to need an hour or so to really wake up.

There was no point in trying to count how many times Fleur and I had gone at it at that point, but I could say that the ache in my pelvis made me proud and I wasn’t planning on leaving without one more memory with Fleur. After a brief shower where Fleur and I let each other get a break, then immediately failed to let each other finish lathering off without help, we got back in the shower because I fucked Fleur while she was putting her bra on because… I didn’t have a reason, she was just incredible in bed. Fleur mixed the tightness of Applejack with the creativity of Mary, the proportions and beauty of Rarity, and the grace and voice of Fluttershy. Penetrating Fleur’s petals was pretty great, and we agreed to look into a long distance vibe for future fun.

After Fleur and I had gotten back out of the shower and actually let each other get dressed, we actually made it into the guest room before Fleur hugged me from behind and asked to just blow me. It wasn’t just a blowjob and it was evening before I even saw Rarity. She was casually chatting with Fancy and seemed to be having a decent enough time, but the look in her eye when she saw Fleur and I laughing and nudging each other on the way over was disheartening. I probably should have invited Rarity to come get some with Fleur, but I’d already known that she would have no hope of keeping up and would ruin the bond two nymphomaniacs could have.

I sat down next to Rarity and she gave me a look. “Seems a little late to just be waking up, Max.”

“Oh, I’ve been up for a while, but I ran into Fleur and we started getting into history. You were right, the woman’s like a version of myself that’s polite, actually charming, and not annoying.”

Fleur giggled her pretty little head off. “Oh, Max, don’t sell yourself so short! You’re just an acquired taste and I must say that I love the flavour of your personality.”

It sailed over Rarity’s head and I decided to see if I could get a kite in the air myself. “Maybe you’re just flexible? It must be hard to adapt when I put you in so many tough positions.”

I saw Fancy halt his cup in front of his lips and hold it there when Fleur pouted at me and said, “You were very hard on me, but I’m sure I showed you the answers you were looking for.”

I chuckled and Fancy daintily patted at his mouth while I responded. “New answers that I wasn’t expecting, you mean. You’re an imaginative woman, Fleur, and I commend you for it.”

Fancy coughed a couple of times and Fleur struggled to keep a straight face. “Well, if you’d ever like to pick my thoughts again, you’re more than welcome to cum inside.”

“I would warn you that I might push a little too hard from time to time, but I think you can take it.”

Rarity gave me a look. “Maximus, I’d like to ask you something.”

“I’d like to give you an answer.”

“Would you mind your manners?”

I raised a brow. “I should like to think that I’ve been minding my manners rather well.”

“... Of course. Can we speak in private for a moment?”

I glanced at Fleur and Fancy, but then the madman said, “Rarity, it’s terribly rude to depart from the dinner table for a private conversation. I assure you that Fleur and I will speak nothing of anything we hear.”

Rarity sniffed and Fleur looked all too amused. “Well, Sir Fancy Pants, I do believe my date is getting up to his no-good ways and may very well be trying to woo your wife.”

“Snitch.” I coughed.

Fancy raised a brow. “Your date. Not your coltfriend? Fiance? Husband? Special somepony?”

Rarity froze. “W-Well-”

Fleur chimed in with, “Oh, come on, Rarity. We all know you were cumming your precious little horn off during your walk with Fancy and you were panting before you left to go to bed. Your composure is commendable, but a mare always knows, dear.”

My marshmallow friend looked like Rainbow had hit her with another powder bomb, but instead of brownish-yellow, it was pure, bright red. “I-I-I-”

Rarity was wearing stockings and that’s really all I needed to feel her up a bit beneath the table. “Cat got your tongue?”

She gave me the filthiest look I’d gotten from her in a while and gripped my hand. “I might just have to risk being impolite, Maximus, if you don’t-” I raised a brow at her. “That’s not going to work.”

I wrested myself free from her grasp and she let me go, but then I grabbed her by her chin and brought her close to me. “Who were you talking to, Mallowslut?”

“... N-No one...”

“Then what were you doing talking?”

“... A-Anti-breathing to get the… Sharp letters out?”

… You totally just thought of something I would say. “That was hilarious and you get ten points for it.” I stroked her cheek with my thumb.

Her furious red had faded to a mild, though still prevalent blush. “Thank you. I um… I’m- I’m sorry for my outburst…”

I kissed her nose and she gave me a nervous little smile. “Good filly. Be nice, okay?”

“Yes, Max.”

Fleur seemed far more entertained than most people would be and I considered it a good thing. “You have her trained pretty well, Maximus. You should have invited her to the conversation last night.”

I scoffed. “For what? I’ve been a woman with her, you would’ve gotten more out of that one jade-coloured mare… Uh… What was her name?”

Fancy tapped his chin. “Well, the only mare with a coat that colour would be Jade Starlet-”

“That’s her, thank you sir.”

“Oh, I know that mare has to be gay, but what could she do that Rarity couldn’t?”

“Finger you.”

Rarity shot me another dirty look. “Well, thanks.”

“I keep telling you how to do it, you’re just better with those lovely lips than those delicate, nimble fingers.”

“Oh, of course. The next thing you know you’ll be asking for a kiss.”

I started stroking her thigh, pushing her dress up as I rubbed the silky fabric of her stockings. “Do I have to ask, or can we just settle on a look I give you as a message?”

The expression she wore was amusing, but I just raised both brows, puckered my lips slightly, and she gave me what I wanted. “... You do not have me trained.”

“Really?” I asked, making the challenge clear in my voice.

Fancy chuckled. “I don’t think we need proof, but I find myself interested in it.”

Rarity blushed and looked considerably less sure of herself when she saw that everyone was looking at her. “... I feel it’s entirely too late to back down, but it’s also my wisest ave-” I gripped her thigh high, feeling her warmth while her eyes widened. “M-Max, I get it!”

I could see in her eyes that she wanted me to make the choice. It was written all over her face that if I gave the order, she was going to hesitate and I might actually get to spank her for more than just fun. I tilted my head at her. “Do I have you trained?”

My sub curled her hands up while I caressed the inside of her thigh. “... You know good and well that I am not a bronco to be tamed, Maximus.”

“No, you’re a whorse to be trained. Am I wrong?”

“Yes!”

I stood, not watching the reactions from our small audience. “On your hooves.”

“No.” I pinched her ear and she squealed. “Okay, okay!”

Once Rarity was standing, she gave me a defiant look. I wasn’t fond of it, but the apprehension in her expression let me know that I wasn’t going too far just yet. “Hands. Table.”

Rarity put her hands on the table. “And?” I gently pushed her hips and she took a couple of steps back, keeping her hands where they were. “Maximus, I’m warning you-”

I gripped the hem of her dress and dragged it over her arse before feeling her slit with a finger. “Warning me?”

“... I-I-”

“I’ll spank, you’ll count. If you miscount or don’t do it at all, your knickers are going in my pocket. Questions?”

“... No.”

I followed through on what I said I would do and Rarity ‘accidentally’ skipped seven on our way up to ten. She dutifully gave me her panties, as wet as they were, and I made a show of inspecting them before putting them in my pocket. However, when we were done, I told Rarity to leave her skirt up and finish her dinner on my dick, which she also didn’t argue against. Fleur seemed to be having almost as much fun as she would if she were involved and Fancy certainly seemed to enjoy himself. That being said, I only needed one hand to eat and I instructed Rarity to not hold back any moans that might occur, so dinner had a little music along with it.

As the night was upon us and I was inside Rarity, Fleur made the comment that Rarity seemed a little uncomfortable, like she had a hard time breathing. Rarity’s chosen gown for the evening was a halter, so I bore her breasts to our hosts and played with them while commenting on their warmth and softness. Rarity came at least twice while I casually molested her and Fleur started eating with one hand herself. Then her horn lit up and her fork fell on the floor, sending our hostess after it. I figured she was looking at us under the table, so I may or may not have made Rarity spread her legs to show Fleur what she was missing out on for the time being.

By the time I was willing to let Rarity get off of me, Fancy had struck up a conversation and that? That shit lasted until well past midnight and thus Rarity and I were invited over for another night with my new favourite nobles. That being said, Rarity and I actually did get a moment alone while Fancy and Fleur were getting ready for bed. My sub was quiet when she took her dress off in my room and I was obviously ready for her to make a request or start bitching. However, she didn’t really start with either.

“Maximus... Do you even realize how terrible you made me look to Fleur and Fancy?” She asked softly.

“Hmm? No, not really. They love that you’re opening up and indulging in deviancy with them. If anything, you should have known from the way they were talking to you. Fancy and Fleur have yet to show that much interest in what you have to say.”

She was already covering herself like I hadn’t just made her suck her own juices off of my rod before we came up to my borrowed room. I didn’t get where the sudden modesty was coming from, but then she said, “... They think I’m a whorse…”

“You are.”

“... I know, Max, but-”

“It makes you want to fuck, but you’re actually not all that interested in sex, you just want to be put on display, humiliated, and accepted for the non-penetration slut you are.”

“Stop bucking doing that! Why do you always know!? Why are you so good at knowing what I don't!? How did you know I would be like this, Max!? It doesn’t make any sense!” She seethed and shouted, blowing my expectations out of the water while she appeared to be having a full-blown mental breakdown. “Max, I have always strived to be the perfect mare; to be a mare worthy of being worshipped by stallions, but… I… How can I hold my head up high knowing that when you told me to take off the panties I wore just because I knew they wouldn’t show how wet I’d be… Max, if you would’ve grazed my marehood, I would have climaxed. There was no end to how… Thrilled, I was in your lap…”

“Well, I could tell on occasion.”

“And when you had me clean you off…”

“Enthusiastic is a good word for it.”

“... Max…”

“You want to be my good little whorse, but you don’t really care about whether or not we actually have sex.”

“... Yes.” She whispered, tears in her eyes.

I shrugged. “Do you want to cum again?”

“N-No, I-I mean that, Max. I really don’t, I just…”

“The safeword is ‘presto’.”

“Then ‘presto’, I just… I just need some time, Max… Can’t we… Can’t we talk about something that makes you uncomfortable for once?”

“I don’t know, my cock’s pretty hard and the blood that usually occupies my brain is in there.” She rolled her eyes and grinned a little. “Yeah, it’s your fault.”

“Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t like it, just so you know.”

“Then how about a little casual conversation with some penetration?”

“I do prefer the slow strokes.”

I shrugged and headed to the bed with her following me and being all too happy to let me spoon her. Rarity and I talked, it was weird, but she apparently calmed down while I was being nice to her, so that was good, I guess. It wasn’t long until Fleur poked her head into the room without knocking, having had been hoping to hear some sex going on to join at some point. Rarity wasn’t asleep and neither was I, so she saw us while I was lazily getting laid. Fleur waved, Rarity waved, and then I gave Bonny a good thrust.

She moaned and whacked me softly for being an arse. “Really now, was that necessary?”

“No, but it was fun. What brings you by, Fleur?”

“Well, can’t a mare just want to stop by and see her friends?”

“While one friend is about six- Seven, six, five inches deep in the other?”

Rarity hit me again. “Was that a play-by-play?”

“You kept moving.”

She scoffed and Fleur giggled. “So you’re definitely having fun without little old me?”

“Fleur, you’re married.” Rarity giggled. “I’m not against sharing, but don’t you think Fancy-”

“Mm, not tonight, but I do have his blessing, if a certain somepony can keep their lips from being loose~”

Rarity looked back at me and I raised a brow. “Don’t look at me, I already fucked her.” Her eyes widened, but she didn’t try to pull away. “What?”

“... You work fast.”

Fleur scoffed. “He didn’t have to try that hard, dear. You know your ‘date’ is cute, charming, and endowed, right?”

I flexed inside of Rarity and she giggled. “I daresay I’m aware of Max’s blessings, and if you care to join us…”

“Maybe I can teach you how to use those fingers, no?”

And so she did. Fleur proceeded to teach Rarity a lot of things relative to pleasuring me and being a good sub that got rewarded. It was odd since Rarity had basically just told me that she wanted to be humiliated and that was about it, but honestly; I could officially command Rarity to take most of her makeup off and kiss her without worrying about getting face-mud on me. The dual blowjob she gave with Fleur was a new experience that I immediately fell in love with, but when Fleur mounted Rarity and offered me a choice between both of them simultaneously? I honestly just had fun testing them both out and knowing that they were both getting off on it.

Eventually I settled on Rarity since her walls were smooth and silky since Fleur’s were wonderfully textured. Rares was little unenthusiastic about it until Fleur straddled her face and had the mare eat her out. Apparently she really was better with her mouth than her hands because Fleur actually came around the same time Rarity did. The night went on and between Fleur and I, Rarity actually didn’t get much of a chance to be tired. Any time I came, it never stayed where I put it long as Rarity and Fleur were both quick to relieve each other of whatever I had to give. A brief thought crossed my mind, wondering why I was having a threesome with a woman I couldn’t stand most of the time and a woman I barely knew but already liked. It was a moment of clarity that made my stomach hurt, but the pleasure in my pelvis outweighed the pain and I carried on until Rarity stopped cumming long enough to beg for a break.

/

Luckily, every bathroom in Fleur’s house was big enough to hold three people comfortably, but I had to put a stop to my partners and their interest. The gals weren’t disappointed in the slightest and spent the time talking about more real shit in the forty or so odd minutes we all spent in the tub than they had in the entire time I’d spent with them. It was weird, but the conversation was nice and Fleur being as adventurous as she was, had willow bath-bombs to soothe everyone’s aches and pains. Mine were mostly in my member and back, but it was nice all the same.

Just realized that I live a life of vice and little else. High-five, I guess…?

We got moving around two in the afternoon, and for once, we had to wait for Fancy to get up, and when he did, I learned that he was not a man to mess with before his coffee. Afterwards, however, he was game for a few jokes. Fleur and Rarity were quite friendly with each other and myself during our late lunch, and I actually got a chance to talk to Fancy. We mostly chatted about business and royal crap, but we eventually got into each other’s histories again and started telling stories before Fancy offered to take me to his favourite smoke shop. Fleur didn’t want to be left behind and convinced Rarity to go, so we were all out and about in under an hour.

The shop was nice and all when we got to it, but Rarity and Fleur were mostly soaking up the attention they were getting while Fancy and I browsed and sampled herbs. I ended up going with something based around datura and Fancy went with a blend that was said to have a single tobacco leaf blended into about two ounces of other crap. I wasn’t interested in it, though I did have to admit that the blend made smoking tobacco seem less disgusting. All in all, the trip was nice for all involved and the day went rather swimmingly.

Meanwhile, we were doing a lot of walking and it was fucking cold. It took its toll on my nose, but I was fine enough with my coat, gloves, and ratty old scarf. Fleur and Rarity had dressed for cold weather, but none of us expected it to get so cold so quickly, which meant that our poor damsels were in distress. I caught Fancy’s eyes and nodded toward Rarity. He gave me a nod in return and we removed our coats simultaneously, handing them off to Fleur and Rarity respectively with extra gentlemanly grandeur. They thanked us because they were supposed to and I embraced the winter like I was a Stark, my nipples turning into diamonds within seconds. Luckily I was wearing another suit, so it’s not like it was noticeable. Without my warm pea-coat it was a little brisk out, though Fancy seemed to be weathering the weather whether he had his coat or not. I mimicked his stoicism in the face of face-numbing adversity and we soldiered on through the cold winds. I tried to keep everyone’s spirits up by telling terrible jokes on the way, and I got the pained groans I desired from my witty puns, and despite being told to end Rarity’s suffering, I abstained from beheading her as per her request.

Fancy and I walked Fleur and Rarity back to the estate so we could get some quality archipelago time in. The older fellow led the way toward his favourite gentleman’s club and offered to get me started on living the high life. Having bought my new bowl made of silverwood, I was apparently popular and had a lot of people asking where the unique piece had come from. The timber-wolf motif was pretty damn interesting to say the least and Fancy was proud to tell them that his usual shop held the highest quality shit, but I wanted to know who made my shit, so I asked Fancy if he was interested in learning for himself.

As it turned out, he was none too shy about heading to the artisan district with me, but his idea to just ask the guy who’d sold it to me was far better than my idea and I had no problem with saying it. A quick trip back to the smoke shop had us heading to the artisan district with an actual destination. We walked into a shop that only had a menagerie of tools as decoration on its sign, though there wasn’t anyone at the counter. In fact, the front of the place looked like it was rarely ever used, so I looked around with Fancy and rang the bell.

There was no answer, so I called out, “Hullo? Anyone home?”

There was a clash from further in, but I thought it would be rude to invite myself to go check up on them. That, and if they were dead, then I didn’t want me on that scene anyway, so I hung back at the doorway until a dishevelled looking woman came strutting in from out of my line of sight. She was around my age, if I had to guess, and she looked awfully familiar. She had a cream-coloured coat and a dark brown mane that hung to her shoulders, along with a smallish pair of half-moon specs that I thought made her look older than she probably was. I could almost swear I was in Farrier when I saw the woman, though I didn’t know why.

“Who the hay are you?” She asked testily.

I held up my purchase from earlier. “Did you make this?”

She came closer and took the piece from me to inspect it. “Yeah, I did. What’s it to you?” She handed it back.

I held up the pocket watch I’d bought oh-so long ago. “You make this too?”

She did the same thing with it. “Yeah, I made them. Again, what’s it to you?”

“I like the things you make. How do I know if you made them?” I asked simply.

The woman blinked. “I’m the only pony who uses timber wolves that I know of.”

“Well that solves that. If you make anything else, send me a message via Dragon Fire or carrier pigeon. Whichever works for you. I’ll probably buy whatever it is, if it’s the same quality as either of these.”

“Sorry to rain on your parade, bub, but I stopped making that garbage a couple of years ago.”

I shook my head. “Shame, you were good at it. I suppose I could leave you to whatever you were doing now.”

“Please do. It was very important work.”

“I swear, if you say that you’re cooking up poison, then I’m going to flip my shit.”

She just looked at me. I took that as my cue to leave, so I led Fancy out onto the streets and he took over from there to get us back to his place. It didn’t bother me that there wouldn’t be any more timber wolf pieces, but it did bother me that I hadn’t learned the craftswoman’s name, despite seeking her out. At least I had met the person that made my cool shit. Fancy and I had our coats back, so the cold wasn’t as much of an issue as it had been before. There was another place that my host wanted to show me, so I walked with him to another genteel club that was full of stuffy old dudes. Most of the rooms in the place had smoke pouring out of them, and the heady herbal odour made me go anosmic within minutes. Still, I got this one old guy incredibly high, so the trip was well worth it.

After I’d had my fun and Fancy had done a smidge of damage control, we went back to his place, and from Fleur’s body language, I immediately knew something was wrong. Fancy picked up on it himself and went to go have a word with her, so I went to go find Rarity to do the same, but before I could get far, Fleur told me that Rarity had gone back to the hotel room in lieu of staying around any longer. I asked about what happened and she said that she and Rarity had just had a disagreement on whether or not I was looking at either of them in a romantic light. Apparently Rarity was jealous and was feeling possessive, so I was going to have to go deal with that. Meanwhile, I was thinking of the multiple times she’d eaten my seed out of Fleur and remembered that Rarity lived on Drama.

I then asked if Fleur had tried putting Rarity in her place and she admitted that she hadn’t, so she’d got the bit of Rarity that was hard to deal with. Fancy wished me luck and Fleur told me that she hoped Rarity would get over it, but I assured her that Rarity was either making a fuss to be punished or was just being a cunt. She wasn’t quite that blunt with her own assessment, but that’s pretty much what she said too. I marched on through the streets of Canterlot, backtracking every so often because I hadn’t really been paying attention when Rarity and I rode to Fancy’s nearly three days ago at that point. When I got to the hotel, I learned that I’d actually shown up before Rarity. I waited around in the main part of the suite until she came in, shivering and miserable. She plopped down next to me and laid her head on my shoulder. I was tempted to shrug her off, but if I could solve the situation in a nice way, I guessed that I could do that.

“Bonny, what was the point of picking a fight with Fleur?”

“... Like you don’t know.”

“I know half of it. What’s really eating at you, Rares?” I asked softly.

“Oh, I don’t know! I thought that I was jealous of the attention you were giving Fleur, but then it just got out of hand. I know I participated and it was fun... I just… It’s hard to let you be your own stallion sometimes. I… I don’t want to be just friends with you, but I want to be the mare you grab by the mane and rut like there’s no tomorrow, Max. I want to be-”

“My sub, my Mistress, and the one I call mine.” I answered casually.

“... You’re not making this easy, but at the same time, you’re just putting it on the table.”

“Let me ask you a few questions and I’ll make it easier.”

Rarity hesitated. “Go on.”

“Why wait until now to say anything?”

“Fluttershy and I are almost nothing alike, but Fleur… You have a lot of fun with her and I know that I’ll never be able to keep up with either of you…”

“That’s not it.”

“... I don’t know what I really want, Max…”

“You want to be the prettiest mare in my quote unquote ‘herd’ and a married mare threatens that position.”

“Fluttershy is just so different from me that she doesn’t really threaten your affection for me in my eyes, and Twilight is just such a different mare that we’re not even the same kind of attractive and… Knowing that Fleur can out-perform me-”

“Rares, Twilight kind of out-performed you. My pleasure isn’t your main concern. You just want me to punish and humiliate you, Rarity.”

“... Max, I don’t know how to tell you that I fell in love with the way you treat me.”

I closed my eyes and sighed, drawing in the silence for the moment. I looked at Rarity and said, “I’ll tell you the same thing I told Fluttershy, and the same thing I told Celestia. I’m not someone you can tie down and expect to keep on a leash at your leisure. Max Gadai? He tends to fuck off and do what he wants, and all you’ll really be getting out of being with me is being able to call me yours and having a say in who I sleep with. I will not allow you to control my life beyond the interactions I have with you or those that concern you. I’m a terrible person with terrible secrets. I don’t particularly care if we argue. If you can’t accept these four facts, then you’ll only end up absolutely miserable by my side. Fluttershy learned to let me talk when I’m ready and when to push. Twilight learned to ask the right questions and when she should do so. What have you learned?”

Rarity thought about it for a moment. “...I suppose I haven’t really given what you need or want much thought. I assumed that you just… Needed a mare to spill your seed in and follow your orders with minimal backtalk, but… I don’t think I can be the mare I would need to be to have you, Max… You could only really be with someone you see and treat as an equal, and we are not equals in this…”

“No. I’m in charge.”

“And I love that, Max. I don’t want to be your wife…”

“... So are you any closer to figuring out what you want?”

Rarity sighed heavily. “I suppose I’ve come to the conclusion that this relationship isn’t good for my mind. The web of emotions is all tangled and… I think I just need some time to figure it out. You understand, don’t you?”

I shrugged. “I can’t pretend to actually know what’s going on in your head, but I can say that I’ll give you time. Figure it out, and if there’s anything else-”

“You probably know what I want, or at least you do on some level.” She took a deep breath and sighed.

“Is it hotter when I ask, or when I just do it?”

“It’s rather arousing when you take-”

I kissed her, pushed her down, then proceeded to use her for my personal pleasure from there. It was tricky to think of good ways to fuck with Rares that wouldn’t actually ruin her, but our options were relatively limited. That being said, I was sure to fuck her against the window, on the balcony, and with a camera in hand. I also made sure that she cleaned me off when I was done with her arse, but that was mostly because I knew that she was too ‘anal’ about personal hygiene to even let me touch her bum if it wasn’t clean.

When we finished, I looked at Rarity while she gently stroked me and asked, “So was that the last time for now, or are you still not sure?”

“... Well… If you happen to be feeling a little pent up and my shop isn’t busy…”

“Come in and fuck your face?”

“You do have such a way with words.” Rarity answered flatly. I raised a brow and she rolled her eyes. “Just because you can doesn’t mean we should, Max.”

I nodded sagely. “Understandable.”

I started poking her with a certain part of my anatomy. “Ma- Oh, presto.”

“Damn.” Rarity rolled her eyes. “So are we still going to the Equestrian Harmonic in a couple days?”

“With all due respect, I believe I’ve had my fill of Canterlot for now. I bought a ticket back to Ponyville while I was out, and I leave in…” She checked the clock on the wall. “Oh fiddlefaff! Three hours to reverse all the damage you’ve done and I really do need to speak with Fleur before I go... If you want to join me you know that you’re welcome, but I do hope that you’ll stay to see them perform.” She gave me a wan smile. “It would be a wonderful opportunity for you to take Twilight’s parents out so you can get to know them better, and you can spend some more time with Fancy and Fleur. I know you’ve taken quite the liking to them.”

“I’m sure that Fleur will forgive you if you eat her arse again, and I know Fancy likes you better than I do.” Her offended look was hilarious, especially since she evidently thought I was kidding due to the look being fake. “I’ll ask Night Light and Velvet if they want to go, because that’s a fucking wonderful idea. I like those guys.”

“I hope Fleur does forgive me, but I don’t see her indulging-”

“She said, and I quote, ‘You tell that gorgeous little whorse to get her flank back in my hands before the month’s over unless she wants me to hold a private party and make her the entertainment’.”

“... Stars above.” Rarity stared at me, her face a florid scarlet.

“I’ll just have to fuck your face when she’s done with you. Sounds fucking lovely.”

“Don’t you usually only say ‘fuck’,” She used some air quotes, “when you’re upset?”

“No, I say fuck all the time. I use fuck to describe a lot of things, actually.”

“I’ve noticed, but you say it more often when you’re upset.”

“I tend to, but it’s not always an indicator. Fuck you for thinking that, by the way.”

Rarity rolled her eyes and rose from the bed. “You just did-”

“But it wasn’t specifically for thinking that.”

“I’m going to go see Fleur after a little freshening up. Are you coming to help?”

I thought about it. “Do you want me to help you freshen up or to apologize to Fleur?”

Rarity rolled her eyes and I was tempted to mushroom-stamp her next time for it. “I was talking about helping me freshen up, but now I think that might not be wise. You’re definitely going to try something.”

“That depends on how long you want the safeword to last.”

“I actually need to be presentable, Darling.”

“A little rouge to your lips wouldn’t hurt.”

“... And they would be especially plump, but we don’t have time for that.”

I sighed. “Of course, but if we’re doing your hair, then you’re doing it in my lap with my cock in your arse.”

“That sounds like dinner last night.”

“I’ll see you in the master-bath.”

Rarity giggled a little and we both got something out of the experience. By the time we were done, she headed off to Fleur’s and I headed off to see the parent’s of my shortest lover of all time. Twilight really was short and adorable, and her cuddleable self had been on my mind for a while. I knew that she was okay with me seeing other women, but honestly nothing could beat the feeling that Twilight and Applejack gave me. I’d just spent the majority of the past twenty-four or so hours fucking like a rabbit, and yes, Fleur was fun and felt great to be with, but…

I shook my head to clear it and wondered why I was being so horny as of late, but I arrived at Night Light and Twilight Velvet’s mansion before I could really get my thoughts together, but even now I still don’t have much of an answer. In any case, I knocked on their massive door since I knew no one was expecting me. Then I rang the bell and got my head out of my arse altogether, though the time in the dark place had made me question my validity as a lover more than I was comfortable with.

After waiting for a minute or two, Night Light answered the door. He greeted me much more cheerfully than he had the last time, so I asked him if he and his wife would like to accompany me to the Equestrian Harmonic the next night. Night Light told me that they’d already been planning to go and invited me to sit in the balcony seating they’d secured with a few friends. There were still a few open seats as long as I bought a ticket for one of them, so I agreed to sit with them as long as I could include Fancy and Fleur in some of the aforementioned open seats. He was kind enough to let me know that Fleur and Fancy were also planning on attending, so that meant I pretty much had my night to myself if I so desired.

I couldn’t find a reason to take up any more of his time, so I bid him goodnight and fucked off, trolling through back alleys for a couple of hours. It was one in the morning when I came across a familiar little jazz joint that still had its lights on. I pushed my plans for breaking and entering to the back of my mind and walked in, mostly because running Canterlot was a bad idea while stone sober. Surprisingly, the first thing I noticed when entering the place that had potato crisps was that the same cellist was on stage. I kept an eye on her while I walked into the bar, which caused me to bump into someone. I whipped my head around and spotted a slightly off-white coloured coat that happened to be on a rather cute young woman. Her hair was a combination of blue and electric blue, but the style told me that she was one to party. The shades were stupid since we were inside, though I didn’t really care.

“My bad, love, I wasn’t watching myself.” I apologized.

She looked me up and down with a scowl. “Be more careful, will you? It’s not like it’s a rave in here.”

“If I hadn’t just apologized, I’d do it here. Let me buy you a drink to show you that I meant it.”

She gave me a befuddled look. “Don’t most ponies just apologize again and go on with their lives?”

“You might want to take your glasses off, love. I’m not exactly a Pony.”

She smirked and took her glasses off. “Wow, they make you look better.”

“I think you look fine without them, don’t be so hard on yourself.” I jibed.

She rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t talking about-”

I interrupted her. “I know what you were talking about, I’m not dumb. I suppose you would have figured that out if you weren’t so busy making cliche jokes.”

The woman shook her head at me before sitting at the bar. I stood by for a moment to see if she would say anything else, so I wasn’t surprised when she asked, “Didn’t you say you were going to buy me a drink?”

“Sorry, I only buy drinks for people with names.” I said as I sat next to her.

She rolled her eyes again. “My name’s Vinyl Scratch, and I’d like a Wonder-Clap, if you’d be so kind.”

The bartender heard her from a meter or so away and raised a brow at me. I gave him the nod and thus I opened a tab for the night. “So what the hell is a Wonder-Clap?”

“It’s a Cloudsdale special, a mix of a Wonderball and a Thunderclap.” Vinyl answered.

“What goes into it is what I’m asking. The liquor, not the names.”

It was a night for eye rolling apparently. “How do you drink, but not know what goes into anything?”

I pulled out my pipe and packed it while she was talking. “Because I don’t usually drink at bars or clubs. There just isn’t much of a club scene where I live, though I might start coming here if the cellist on stage keeps coming back.”

“So you’re not a Canterlot native, nor do you live in Canterlot. Why the buck are you here at party-pony hours?”

“I ran out of shit to do.” And I can’t keep fucking Fleur or she’ll ruin me. “I was originally just here for a party with some nobles I don’t despise from the deepest parts of my being and to go see the Equestrian Harmonic next time they perform, but now I’m looking for some trouble.”

Vinyl snorted. “That explains why you look like some stuck up douche, but that doesn’t explain why you’re here.” She said, pointing downward. The bartender passed her the drink she’d ordered and it looked like Nuka-Cola Quantum. I kinda wanted one to see if I could taste the strontium.

“Oh. The first and last time I came here, the same cellist was playing so I stopped looking for trouble and came in for a drink.” I just went with some bourbon because it felt like a bourbon kinda night to me. My drink was a lot easier to make, so I got it within seconds

“You know the cellist has a name, right?”

“Really? I thought she had a hand-sign you made whenever you wanted her attention.” I asked sarcastically.

“You’re a real smart ass, you know that?”

“I also induce headaches and arousal depending on the conversation. Sometimes I do both at the same time.”

Vinyl laughed. “I’m so warning Octavia to stay away from you. You’d send her straight into a conniption or something like, five minutes into a conversation.”

“Do whatever you want as long as you don’t cock block me. If her hands can work an instrument like that, just think about what she could do to you.” I chuckled.

Vinyl guffawed. “Dude, I’m telling her you said that when she takes a break! That’s just too funny!”

“Give me a chance to tell her that she’s great before you do. I’d like her first impression of me to be half decent at least.”

“You say that like you care.”

“Oi, just because I approached you with snark and sarcasm doesn’t mean I do the same thing to everyone.”

“You bumped into me! Sorry I was a little unfriendly, but you could’ve tried being nice or something.”

“I did and you were mean, so I stopped being nice.”

“Ass.”

I scoffed. “You’re not crying or mad, so be happy. I could have been a much bigger prick if I felt like it.”

“You say that like I couldn’t be just as bad.” Vinyl said, sipping her drink.

“I doubt it. You’re too short and sweet to be mean.” I flirted shamelessly.

“Smooth… Wait, what’s your name again?” She asked.

“Max. I can’t believe you already forgot my name. Am I that boring?” I asked with a grin. I hadn’t mentioned my name on purpose so she would have to ask, though I’ll warn any eligible bachelors out there that it only works if a girl is already interested in you. Fuck you for reading my shite though.

“Max? I don’t think you told me your name. I would remember something as interesting as that.”

“Are you sure you haven’t just been drinking too much? You’ve had so many Wonder-Claps, your hair turned blue!”

Vinyl looked at me like I was stupid before smiling like she was stupid. “Hey, what do you say I introduce you to Octavia now? She just finished her set.”

I looked over to the stage to see that Vinyl was correct. Octavia had left her cello resting on a stand, but she herself had disappeared. “Huh, would you look at that. Yeah, we can do that if you don’t mind.”

Vinyl picked her drink up and I left a fifty bit piece on the counter when I grabbed my own because I wasn’t done yet. I followed Vinyl onto the stage and through the curtains to a back room where Octavia was changing clothes. I immediately left the room, though Vinyl didn’t follow me, which I imagined was her plan in the first place. She’d probably lead me in there to see whether or not I would stay for an eyeful, and I hoped that I’d made the right choice in leaving.

While I was bemoaning the fact that I may have just ruined a potential threesome, Vinyl opened the door and gave me a shit eating grin. “Sorry, I forgot that Octy likes to change when she’s finished with her sets for the night. You can come in now.”

I gave her a flat look and her smile deepened. “Oi! Octavia!” I shouted.

Vinyl gave me an odd look. “Yes?” I heard from behind the door.

“Are you decent?” I called back.

“I am.” She responded. Vinyl just huffed and went back inside, so I followed her shortly thereafter.

When I stepped back into the room, I saw that Vinyl had removed the jacket she had been wearing and that Octavia was, in fact, clothed this time. “Hullo, Octavia. It’s nice to put a name to the number.” I extended a hand to her.

“You are speaking of a musical number, yes?” She said, shaking my hand gently.

“What else would he mean?” Vinyl asked.

“He could mean a literal number. I am unaware of all the possible avenues through which Max may know me.” Octavia stated.

“According to Vinyl over here, you don’t have a hand-sign that gets your attention. And for the record, I know you from here. I was having lunch one day while I was meandering about town and saw you play. That was a few months ago now, but I’ve always wanted to compliment you for your artistry.”

Octavia nodded. “Thank you for your compliment. Is there anything else you wished to address?”

“Not at the moment. Thank you for your time.” I raised my drink to her and turned to leave, but Vinyl caught my arm.

“Dude, is that seriously all you have to say?” She asked, bewildered.

“I told you all I wanted to do was compliment her. What do you want me to do, bend over and ask her to shove her bow up my arse and play my prostate like she does the cello?”

“For the record, I would not fulfil that request.” Octavia remarked.

“Thank you, I wouldn’t ask you to do that.” I replied.

“If you have a song you would like to hear, I will play it for you if I know it.” Octavia offered.

“I don’t really know much about Equestrian music to be honest with you. I’d love to see you play again sometime, though.”

“If you are interested in more orchestral music, I will be performing with my band during the interlude at the Equestrian Harmonic’s performance the day after tomorrow. I myself am a part of the Harmonic, but my band is where my own sound will be most identifiable.”

“Looks like I’m in luck, then. I already have plans to attend so I’ll see you there.” I gave her a crooked smile.

Octavia returned it with a muted one of her own. “It will be nice to know that I have a fan in the audience.”

Vinyl patted her back heartily. “You always have fans in the crowd, babe! You just need to have some confidence in yourself for once!”

“I possess confidence in my abilities-”

“But not in yourself?” I asked.

Octavia stared at me. “It is very impolite to interrupt somepony.”

“It’s also impolite to blah blah blah, but something, words, and I don’t know you well enough to think that you’re a good person or something, but don’t be down on yourself. You’ve got skill and you’re pretty pleasant. Take that and run with it.”

Vinyl joined Octavia in staring at me. “You know you’re supposed to try and be supportive, right?”

I shrugged. “I can’t be supportive to someone who’s already doing extremely well. What if their ego explodes and I go to prison for manslaughter? Or ponyslaughter. Mareslaughter? Whatever.”

Octavia and Vinyl traded a look. “He reminds me of you.” They said in unison.

I looked between them. “Does that mean the threesome Vinyl promised is back on?”

Vinyl burst out laughing and Octavia looked at me some more. “I feel no desire to participate in sexual acts involving more than one pony.”

“Oh, so if he offered it for you-”

“Vinyl, you know my preferences.”

“How about now?” I asked.

“The answer is still no.”

I snapped and sighed. “Got my hopes up for nothing.”

Vinyl caught her breath. “Octavia, you should’ve heard what he said earlier!”

“I feel as though I should not listen to anything pertaining to your actions together.” Octavia said.

Vinyl gave her a stern look. “I told you I was past all that!”

“Past all what?” I asked.

“I used to be a real party mare. Like, I really liked parties, and the things you may or may not do at them after a few drinks.” Vinyl replied.

“Ah, so you were a nympho.” I nodded sagely. “I understand your struggle.”

Vinyl joined me in nodding. “It’s so hard sometimes. Especially when I see that it’s hard.”

“I know the feeling. When I see a woman with a nice bottom pass me by, it’s hard not to try and charm her.”

Vinyl looked at me then turned around and looked at her arse. “Is that why you started talking to me? I’ll bet you were just using that bump as a way to get to me!”

I chuckled. “No, that would have failed if I’d done it on purpose. I was actually just watching Octavia play while walking.” I checked her out. “Though I probably would have talked to you anyways. You do have quite the arse.”

Vinyl rolled her eyes at my antics. “I totally just gave you a great setup, and you blew it.”

“Sorry, love, I’ll do better next time. If I feel like it.” I grinned.

“Do better now and you might get lucky.” Octavia said.

Vinyl and I looked at her. I was a little shocked that those words had actually come out of her mouth. “He might get lucky with you, but his chance at me is already gone.” Vinyl stated.

A smile started to grow on Octavia’s face. “I would be willing to bet that Max could change your mind with minimal effort.”

Vinyl snorted. “Fat chance. Have you heard this guy talk? He’s been throwing jabs at me since I met him!”

“Haven’t you ever heard that boys are mean to the girls they like?” I said with a grin. “I don’t think I’m going to be able to change your mind with words, though.”

“If you can do it with a kiss, I will give you twenty bits.” Octavia offered.

Vinyl opened her mouth to argue and I went for it. Thankfully she closed her mouth so I could actually kiss her, though she pursed her lips and tried to push me away once. I risked being a prick so I could win the bet, and it paid off since Vinyl stopped trying to get away after that one time. She eventually started getting into it, but before I let her win a bout of tongue wrestling, I pulled away and wiped away some excess.

“How’d I do?” I asked. Vinyl wasn’t as aggressive as Fleur, so I’d been able to go at my own pace.

Vinyl, however, was a little out of breath. “G-Good. You did good…”

I turned to Octavia and gave her a wink and a thumbs up. She shook her head at me, sighing. “I did not think that would happen.”

“What were you expecting? Did you think he was just going to give me a peck and be done?” Vinyl asked, crossing her arms.

“And where’s my bits?”

“As a matter of fact, yes. Yes I did. And for your question, Mister…”

“Max. Max Gadai.”

“Max. Do not expect me to pay you for that.” Octavia remarked.

“Damn.”

Vinyl huffed and fanned herself lightly. “Getting back on topic here, maybe you should see if you want to sleep with him after one little kiss instead of trying to get me laid, if that’s how you think.”

Octavia stepped a bit closer and examined me closely. It was a bit weird since I swear I could feel her gaze, but I withstood the awkwardness and awaited her verdict all the same. “I do not want to take the risk. I must be at my best for the show.”

Vinyl scoffed. “You have plenty of time to recover, Octy. The whole ‘fifty-two-hour no-sex’ thing is goofy.”

“I still do not wish to take the risk.”

I coughed a couple times to garner some attention. “I can respect that, though I’m wondering why you’re trying to get your friend laid since she doesn’t seem to have a problem with finding her own boy toys.”

“Oh, dude, Octavia’s not my friend, she’s my mare. We’re dating.”

I blinked. “That just fills me with more curiosity, both about my question and about other things.”

Octavia held up a hand. “Save your gutter thoughts for another time. I am trying to have you sleep with Vinyl because I have been unable to perform my duties as her special somepony due to my schedule. Vinyl has been abstaining from intercourse because I asked her to, but I know that it has been hard for you, Scratchy Bum. I find you to be an amusing fellow, Max, and Vinyl seems to like you, so I am okay if she chooses to sleep with you.”

“I really hate that nickname, Octy.” Vinyl groaned.

I nodded. “That’s why it sticks. However, if you stick a finger in her and it doesn’t feel the same-”

“Hush.” Octavia answered.

“Well then.” Vinyl pursed her lips. “If you’re going to give me permission, then I’m just going to catch you at home…” She scratched her head. “Are you sure you’re okay with this? It’s not the first time, but…”

“I would not have said so otherwise, Scratchy Bum.” Octavia stated drolly.

Vinyl blushed hard and I grinned. “The pet name is strong with this one. I like it.”

“Shut up and let’s get a move on. We don’t have all night, and I’d like to get some sleep before noon.” Vinyl said.

I scoffed. “Good luck doing anything tomorrow. I’ve brought more experienced women than you to their knees. Not for anything in particular, it’s just a dominance thing.”

Vinyl swatted my arm and gave me a dishonest frown. “The more you talk, the drier I get.”

“Sorry love,” I said, leaning into the English Gentleman a little to see if it worked, “I wasn’t being considerate. Let me make it up to you, yeah?”

I saw the corner of her mouth start twitching and she said, “We’ll see. Let me say goodbye to Octavia and I’ll catch you at the bar.”

I nodded and said farewell to my new favorite wing-mare. She didn’t even really know me and she was about to let me bang her girlfriend, which was kinda weird, but I was going to get laid out of it, so who am I to complain? I drained my drink on the walk back to the bar and picked up my pipe from where I’d left it. Usually I wouldn’t be so careless with my items of interest, but the club only had a few patrons anyway and the pipe was still full of some herb unknown to most, so I figured that it would be safe enough. I struck a match and mimicked a few of the other patrons, blowing smoke rings into the air. It had been some time since I’d done it, but once you learn you don’t really forget.

Vinyl caught up with me at the bar and was eager to get back to my hotel room, so I finished my drink and we were on our way. Just to keep things from getting too quiet, I asked Vinyl a few personal questions and she gave me a whole lotta snark. In fairness, I gave it right back to her when she started asking her questions, but she did it first! Bullshit aside, we got to the hotel unaccosted. I would write down what happened, but I guess I was spoiled by Fleur. Vinyl was perfectly fine in that she could keep up, but it was like something was missing. Still, I had fun and Vinyl made up for not doing anal by giving me my very first hoof job, which was a lot better than I expected it to be. Why she had lube in her hair, I don’t know, but it came in handy and the hoofjob led to a blowjob when she realized that I apparently wasn’t like most guys she’d done it to. By the end of it, Vinyl was passed out and I was wide awake with the Sun rising on a new day. After lying around for an hour, basking in the afterglow, I lit my pipe and pulled a couch over to the window to watch the world slowly rotate. The coffee I made was expensive because it was an expensive hotel, but it was well worth it.

I spent my morning burning through my stash like it was going out of style, but I had plenty left in my bags. I’d assumed that Rarity was going to be annoying the Hell out of me during the entire trip, so I’d packed accordingly. Now that I knew that she couldn’t get a straight answer out of her head to save her life, I was a lot less concerned with fucking her and more worried about keeping an eye on her. When I failed to sleep, I just enjoyed my buzz and waited for the night’s partner to get moving. Vinyl woke up a few minutes before I finished with my writing, but it wasn’t like she was going anywhere. We’d gotten to the hotel at five thirty or so in the morning and hadn’t gotten any rest until ten. It was almost five by the time Vinyl woke up, and I realized that I’d wasted an entire day waiting for her to get the fuck out of bed. There was some good news in the form of Vinyl offering to meet up with me if I was ever in town again, and a little parting gift from her by way of mouth hug. She left shortly after a shower that I’m sure was lonely and I followed her lead about thirty minutes later.

I didn’t have anywhere that I wanted specifically to go, so I headed to the castle to say hi to Luna since the Sun had already set. Unfortunately, the castle wasn’t very close to the hotel, so I had a bit of a trek ahead of me, though I would get to stop by the Triple C on my way there. When I got there, I bought some various chocolate covered fruits for Luna, a small Germaneigh chocolate cake for Celestia, and a few biscuits for myself. They were chocolate chip and straight out of the oven, so they still retained their gooey nature. I was in heaven for the duration of my snacking. The Night Guards at the castle gates had no idea who I was until I flashed them the Warbling Blade. I actually got some respect from them for that, so I was sure to wish them a good night and good luck because they weren’t pricks. I knew that the Night Guards were generally more laid back than their daytime counterparts, but the disparity between them was a little excessive. In fact, I think I remember Velvet Breeze telling me that Night Guards tried to be nicer to offset their intimidating appearance.

I shouldn’t have brought her up. That still smarts a bit. I just hope Celestia took care of that bullshit and I don’t have to jump down her throat.

Luna really did take my advice to heart when I told her to revamp the bureaucracy. I only had to sign one paper to get into Night Court; a far cry from the ten I still had to fill out if I ever wanted to see Celestia. After giving the steward guy a completely unnecessary (and probably unwanted) hug, I walked into the Court Hall and said, “Who’s ready for a snack?”

Luna lifted her head from her hand and looked at me. “Maximus. It is good to see you, though I wish you would have told me that you were coming before arrival.”

“Sorry, but you know how spontaneous I can be.” I grinned. “I brought you a present before I head off to go have fun~”

“Present your present, then.” Luna punished.

I groaned and grabbed the box of candy I’d gotten her, walking closer to the dais. “You know that was super gross, right?”

She sniffed. “I don’t believe I know what you’re talking about. Puns are perfectly acceptable.”

“My puns are acceptable. Yours make me wish I was underneath a very large, very loud man, getting my fudge packed.” I remarked.

“I don’t see what confections have to do with anything. You really must learn to use fewer colloquialisms with me.” Luna scolded.

“If I didn’t say things you don’t understand, I wouldn’t get away with half the shit that I do.” I grinned and handed her the candy.

She opened the box and tried a piece. “Chocolate covered oranges?”

I cringed. “Okay, that sounds pretty bad. It’s supposed to be chocolate covered fruits, but I didn’t know that there were random things in there. I figured it was cherries and strawberries or something.”

Luna ate another one. “They’re not terrible. I suppose you can be nice.”

I rolled my eyes and sat down next to the throne. “You’re full of crap. Wait until you get the piece I shoved a thumbtack into, then you’ll get the idea.”

Luna tossed a piece to me. “I hope it’s that one. It would serve you right to have your own tricks turned against you.”

I popped it into my mouth. “If that’s so, then my mischief tastes like honeydew. I fucking hate honeydew.”

“Ha, so do I. That is why I gave you that piece.”

“You suck sometimes, you know that?” I asked.

“I believe I do less sucking than yourself. How often have you found a stallion in your mouth?”

“Not as often as you have, I guarantee it. Unless you’ve been a lifelong lesbian, you’ve got little chance.”

“I would argue that a thousand years would be a long enough time to invalidate any previous encounters.”

“Eh, I’ll give it to you, though the only time I ever had a dick in my mouth, I bit it off.” I jested.

Luna chuckled. “One would assume that such a brutal method of castration might make you many enemies.”

“I’ll say. It made the rest of the gangbang rather awkward.”

Luna covered her mouth and bit back her laughter for a few seconds. Once she was done convulsing, she sighed and said, “Thank you for that. I needed a laugh.”

“Anytime, Lulu. As long as I get to keep calling you Lulu without dying or being gelded, I’ll come up with funny shit to say.”

She used her magic to whack the back of my head. “Then any other kind of abuse is fine?”

“Don’t push your luck, Blue Bean, I’ll give you a wet willy you’ll never forget.” I threatened.

“What is that?” Luna asked. I slobbered on my pinkie and put it in her ear, though the effect was different than I’d intended. Instead of shivering in disgust, Luna punched me in the ribs and that shit hurt. I took a moment to gather my breath and Luna pawed at her ear, trying to get my spit out of it.

“Why was your finger wet!?” She demanded.

“Because it’s a wet willy.” I gasped.

“I do not like them. Do not seek to give me another.”

“No problem. Won’t hear me complain.” I massaged my side.

“What manner of nonsense was that? Did you put your finger in your mouth or something?”

“It’s not like I brought a bottle of water with me.” I replied.

Now Luna shivered. “Disgusting!”

“Playground bullies have been doing it for hundreds of years, love. I’m surprised you didn’t have something like that back in your time.”

“Never. A pony’s ears are very sensitive. Too sensitive for any manner of tomfoolery.” Luna huffed.

I reached over and started rubbing her ear. Luna turned her head to look at me like I was dancing through a minefield. “I’m sowwy Lulu, I didn’t mean to huwt yow eaw.”

“What are you doing?”

I grinned at her. “Rubbing your ear.”

“Why are you doing that?”

“How does it feel?”

“... Pleasant. Please stop.”

I stopped and kept my hands to myself. “I’ll have to try rubbing someone’s ears some time. If theirs are as soft as yours, then I’ll have fun with my little experiment.”

Luna shook her head. “Playing with a pony’s ears is an intimate gesture. If my guards didn’t already know that you are my friend, they most likely would have seized you.”

“I figured they would’ve gotten to me when I got up here on the dais if they didn’t already know. When you say that it felt pleasant, what do you mean?”

“When you rub a pony’s ears, it can be either mind numbingly comforting or sensual.”

“I’m going to guess that I’m not supposed to guess which one you are out loud.”

“Your supposition is correct.” Luna tugged at my arm until I bent over so she could pat my head. “Good Max.”

“I’m not your dog, love.”

“I’m not your love, dog.”

I traded some more quips with Luna for a while longer because it’s always a fun time and she usually has some great comebacks. I left Celestia’s cake with her along with an explanation as to why I was there in the first place. Telling someone that you just desired their company is a good way to make someone’s day on occasion, and I was glad that I could make Luna smile without saying something completely retarded for once. I didn’t really feel like doing anything once I left so I went back to the jazz joint I’d visited before and got something to eat. The time was dwindling before I had to head over to the Canterlot Concert Hall, so I spent my time freshening up and tried cutting my hair a little. By only doing a bit at a time, I managed to get something decent enough that was better than just looking shaggy. However, I took some time to write in between cutting my hair and leaving, though it was mostly just going over plot points.

A Pause In The Wind seemed an ill-fitting title for how the story was going, so I renamed it to A Thousand Moments and settled on that one since it was pretty cool. I even made sure to give one of my main character’s friends some very Rarity like qualities so she could live on in my stories. I wanted to write in a character like Fleur, but I couldn’t find a way to do so that gave her the proper respect she deserved, though I tried my best anyway. Fancy also made it into the book as a love interest for the protagonist, but he was ultimately going to be dumped because of some contrary bullshit reason that I hadn’t thought of yet. The book was shaping up better than it had been before and I wondered if I should revamp the Midnight Stroll book I had in progress. I thought about it and decided to continue the series, but with a few of my less interesting stories mixed in. I was about halfway done with A Thousand Moments when I realized that I was running low on time to get prepared for the Equestrian Harmonic’s show.

There wasn’t much time that I actually had to waste since I was already dressed. I hoped that it wasn’t a black tie event. Navy blue would probably be passable, but I thought about switching up until I said fuck it and told myself that it really didn’t matter that much. I grabbed my essential gear and got to stepping, glad that I would be able to go home once this was all over. I mean, I wanted to see Octavia perform and all, but I had wanted to see the Equestrian Harmonic with a friend and now that friend wasn’t going to be there. It kind of sucked, but in the meantime, I was going to get to enjoy mature company and spend some more time with people that thought before they acted.

With my mood rising and falling, I was looking forward to seeing my noble friends so I could cheer the fuck up already, so I walked through the streets of Canterlot at a brisk pace. After a quick check with my pocket watch I saw that I had ten minutes before the show started and only a five-minute walk, so I picked up the pace and got my arse into gear. Arriving at the Concert Hall with time to spare, I looked around and spotted Fancy and Fleur in the audience already. Although Twilight Velvet and Night Light were nowhere to be seen, I wasn’t exactly upset about it. Fleur gestured for me to sit next to her, though I wondered why they were so far in the back of the balcony seating. I could see the stage just fine, but I doubted that Fleur or Fancy could. I shrugged it off and took my place next to the magnificent creature that is Fleur.

The show started and the first piece was a heartbreaker, causing Fleur and Fancy to shed a tear at the end. They started strong and the show only got better as it went. Luckily, Velvet and Night Light showed up in time to catch the majority of it. The only part I wasn’t happy about was the fact that they didn’t sit with Fancy, Fleur and I, but I dealt with it. Soon enough, the interlude began, though it was going to take a moment for Octavia and her group to get set up. Fancy went off to go talk to Night Light and Twilight Velvet for a moment, and the second he left the row, Fleur was in my lap.

“Fleur, as much as I love having you where you are, I’m kinda dating Night Light’s daughter and I really don’t want him to have reasons to bitch at me,” I said uneasily.

“Don’t worry so much. Fancy went down there to keep them busy so we could have some time. I really have taken a liking to you, Max.” Fleur flirted.

I grinned. “I see, but do you really have to be in my lap to show me that?”

“Does it hurt at all?” She asked.

“Not in any way that matters.”

Fleur kissed my nose. “Exactly. Now shut up and listen; they’re starting again.”

Fleur leaned so that she was out of my way and I watched as Octavia began the first few notes of her song. It was an enchanting, somewhat melancholy melody that made my heart ache, though I didn’t know why. It reached me in a way that the Equestrian Harmonic just couldn’t. Eventually the interlude ended and Fancy returned, signalling for Fleur to get off of me. I crossed my legs and waited for the band to begin again. Sadly, I wasn’t to be left alone to enjoy the show. Fleur poked and prodded around my lap subtly until she found what she was looking for. When she did, she gave it a galvanizing squeeze, and then took her hand away, giving me a devious smile. I lifted an eyebrow by way of response and saw that Fancy was looking on with mild interest. Fleur gave me a wink and Fancy gave me a nod. I was being set up again and Fancy would be watching, but this time I wasn’t drunk and it was actually kind of weird. Canterlot was full of cucks and I just found that odd.

Here’s to new experiences, yeah?

I slowly nodded by way of response and Fleur’s magic made quick work of my belt and zipper. I looked around to see if there was anyone with wandering eyes, but most people seemed solely focused on the show. I tried to relax as Fleur leaned over, but my eyes were pretty much glued to her cleavage. She took my member into her hand and gave it a couple strokes to bring it to full mast. Fleur removed the glove she’d been wearing and tried again, and this time, I was quite aware of how soft her coat was. It was odd to think that Ponies really were covered in fur rather than just having differently coloured skin, but Fleur was a Pony and I’ve been told countless times that they have fur. Still, Fleur’s grip was tender, yet firm and it was enough to make me sigh softly.

The unfortunately adventurous milf stroked me gently for a few minutes and Fancy Pants watched on. We made eye contact and he gave me a knowing smile that I didn’t know how to return. I was still busy being floored by the fact that he had just given me permission to fool around with his wife in public. Well, I was busy doing that up until Fleur gave me a long, slow lick. My attention immediately switched back to her ministrations and I stopped caring about the fact that her husband was watching his wife prepare to give me proper public fellatio. The elegant former Operative looked up and gave me a brilliant, sexy smile before taking my entire length into her throat in one go. I had to bite my lip to prevent myself from making a sound, but then Fleur began using her tongue to swirl around my shaft, and I couldn’t help but draw a comparison to Celestia. They were both incredibly skilled, but I was beginning to think that Fleur’s ability to ply her craft more often than Celestia may have given her a leg up in this situation. Fleur had me tapping her shoulder within five minutes of her bobbing her head.

Fleur knew all too well how to properly tease someone, and I learned that as she gave me one last lick that nearly sent me over the edge. After a few moments to cool down, Fleur began again and I had my stamina back. I slouched a little in my seat and listened to the wonderful hymns that were being played as Fleur turned my lower half into jelly.

Soon enough, I was ready to pop again, so I let Fleur know by tapping her shoulder again. She immediately pulled away, though she kept her mouth open just in case I’d been a little late. Luckily for her and her makeup, I had been right on time and after another brief cool down period, Fleur went back to work and this time, I actually tried to hold out. Ten minutes later, I failed miserably. I placed my hand on Fleur’s shoulder and she got the idea. This time, there needn’t be a break. Fleur’s head bobbed slowly, milking every moment leading up to my climax in the perfect way.

I was finally at the peak of my pleasure when Fleur bit me.

I shoved down tonnes of pure panic and tried to let her work her magic, but I was freaked the fuck out until I realized that it didn’t hurt at all. It actually felt like a welcome addition, though I wasn’t sure about how Fleur felt about the load in her mouth. I got my answer when she placed my member back where it had been, fixed my trousers, and showed me what she had collected. Then she turned around and showed Fancy. With a clearly visible swallow, my daycare was demolished and Fleur flashed a triumphant smile.

“Next time, we’re going to the theater.” She announced. I glanced over to Fancy and he was raising a brow.

There was a shrug from both of us as I mimicked him and we nodded at the same time for some odd reason that I didn’t really understand. I guess the next time I came to town, I was going to get a slinger at a play or something. The show ended with a clash of symbols and I was too busy replaying what had just happened in my head to realize that the concert was over. Fleur and Fancy shuttled me off to go say hi to Night Light and Velvet, although I’d already planned on seeing them before we left. Fancy offered to have Night Light and Velvet join them for the evening and they agreed, though I had to cut my visit short so I could collect my things and get back home. The four of them were sad to see me go, though I think Fancy and Fleur were a bit more upset than Twilight’s parents. Fancy asked me to join them very politely and very specifically, which meant that I couldn’t say no without being impolite, so I told them that I would be over shortly after paying for another night at my hotel. Fleur asked that I bring my things over and just stay the night and I agreed because, again, it would have been rude to say no.

Politeness gets you into trouble sometimes.

Fancy, Fleur, Night Light, Velvet and I borrowed a carriage so we wouldn’t have to walk home, despite the fact that all four of them were unicorns and could have teleported us home. I pointed that out and heard a collective groan from my older friends before they all joined hands. Moments later, we were out of the carriage and in Fancy and Fleur’s house. I then pointed out how lazy it was for them to teleport home instead of just waiting out the carriage ride, and I swear Night Light was about to send me back to the Concert Hall just for being difficult. I dialled it down a notch and thus a long night began. Velvet and Fleur held up the conversation by themselves, so us fellas decided to take our party out into the cold so we could smoke in peace. No one said anything, which made me realize that guys in Equestria rarely talk that much when they’re alone, or at least, all the males I had been alone with so far didn’t seem like they wanted to do much talking. Maybe it was just because mares did so much talking that no taken man feels the need to say anything when they’re away from their spouse. After fifteen minutes of some very male silence, we headed back in because it was dark and colder than shit. Apparently Night Light and Fancy’s magic didn’t extend to keeping a person warm, which I found to be some bullshit. Twilight could do just about anything, but other Unicorns were extremely limited in what they could do.

I brought that up and apparently one’s aptitude in magic depends on their personality and Cutie-thing, rather than random Ponies having random amounts of power like I’d thought. Apparently Twilight and her mother were rather alike though since Twilight Velvet was actually a well respected scientist, though that information was news to me. I hadn’t been aware of the fact that Velvet actually had a job in the first place, so imagine my surprise to find that the chatty, sweet woman I knew was actually one of the brightest people in the city. While I was busy lauding Velvet’s choice in career, Fancy and Fleur went off to go grab some alcohol because aristocrats are really just well-behaved alcoholics. They returned with a bottle of whiskey and wine respectively, though I wasn’t sure which I’d rather have. I went with the whiskey because I had to keep up my appearance as a macho man, even though Fleur’s cherry wine was made by one of my favourite vineyards.

Velvet and Night Light left around midnight, and I was hoping to get to sleep soon. I had wanted to be in Ponyville before the majority of the day was over, so I was going to need to get moving in the morning, but Fleur and Fancy had other ideas. They had a proposition for me that I didn’t really want to accept, but I figured that letting Fancy watch while I nailed his wife was for the best interest of everyone involved. For the thousandth time that night, I reminded myself that I was basically a cuckoo bird without the murder. Birder. Burder? After that little event, I was allowed to go to sleep, though restful slumber eluded me until Luna pulled me into the Dreamscape. We policed dreams for a little while to get my mind off of the night terrors and Luna let me wake up with the Sun. Fancy and Fleur were asleep when I got up, so I went downstairs and had a seat in the sitting room so I could pick up where I left on with A Thousand Moments. Fleur was the first one downstairs, surprisingly.

She peeked into the sitting room and saw me writing. She walked in and said, “Thank you for being so understanding last night. It’s just one of Fancy’s fetishes that we never get to indulge in.”

“No problem.” I said without looking up. I wasn’t trying to be rude, I was just trying to finish a sentence. Fleur waited for me to say something else, so I put my book off to the side and gave her a smile. “It was definitely something new, but it got easier when you started making the fun kind of noises. I must say, for a gay man, Fancy sure does enjoy watching.”

She blushed and shook her head, smiling. “Fancy is as Fancy does, and if we hadn’t broken down so many walls when we first met, I might’ve been surprised that you said that. What are you doing?”

“Just writing. I’m working on a sequel to my first book, A Single Breath.” I stated. “Nothing too important. Is there something I can help you with?”

Fleur eyes widened when I mentioned my book. Her horn lit up and a familiar book appeared in her hands. “You wrote A Single Breath!?”

“Yeah. It started out as a prank on one of my friends, but then she liked it, so I kept it going.” I shrugged. “Do you like it?”

“Like it? Max, this is one of the most popular books in Canterlot! I have to have you sign mine for me!”

“Bring it over and I will, love, just don’t freak out on me.” I said, raising my hands.

Fleur beamed and brought the book over to me. “I know you’re going to make it out to me, but could you write something special? Just for your new favorite friend Fleur?” She pleaded.

“Of course, love.” I cleared my throat and said, “To Fleur, my all-time favourite, sexiest, and most fun fan. Stay beautiful, my thorny rose.”

Fleur nearly snatched the book away from me and giggled. “Thank you! I never thought for a moment that I was-” She stopped abruptly. “I slept with the author of A Single Breath.” Fleur swooned and I raced to catch her. I should have let her fall, but I’m nice like that sometimes.

She came to a few moments later with a flutter of her eyelashes. “W-Where am I?”

I looked deep into her eyes and said, “Omelet du fromage.”

“...You know you wasted a perfectly good moment, right?”

I dropped her and offered her a hand up. “Can I offer you a hand, my lady? The floor is no place for one of your beauty and grace.” I asked with a bow.

Fleur scowled and accepted my help. “If you didn’t drop me, I wouldn’t have needed the hand.”

“My deepest apologies, but I was simply stricken by your countenance. It was like I’d opened my eyes for the first time all over again, and I couldn’t help but recoil. I didn’t deserve to touch you.” I flattered, trying to sound genuine with every word.

Fleur seemed uneasy. “What are you trying to do?

I grinned. “Am I not allowed to tell a beautiful woman that she is, in fact, beautiful?”

“...I suppose it wouldn’t hurt. I’m still upset with you for dropping me!”

I closed the distance between us in a single step. “Let me make it up to you.” I murmured to her.

Fleur’s breath caught at my tone and sudden change in demeanour. “If you want.”

I did want, and so I did. By the time I was done with her, we both needed another shower, so we took one together. After that, we were both dirty all over again, so Fleur grabbed some lube so we could get dirtier. Once we got filthy mcnasty and did the no-no oh-no ha-ha cha-cha, I made Fleur behave and prepared to get my shit together and leave, hoping to catch the next train to Ponyville. I hugged Fancy before I left and Fleur gave me a peck on the lips because why not. After bidding farewell to my favourite new friends, I headed to the train station and flashed the golden ticket to ride first class again.

The train ride back to Ponyville felt like I was leaving a piece of myself behind in Canterlot, and I suppose that was true. I was leaving my tolerance for nobility and city life behind to get back into my usual comfort zone in my small town life, but at the same time I kind of hoped that I was leaving my slutty streak behind. It would be nice to be back home, but I would miss Fleur, Fancy, Vinyl, and Octavia and all they’d let me do with or to them. I would also miss the relative simplicity of not having to deal with Rarity, but I also felt like I wanted to rejoin her and maybe make a move. I didn’t know if she would want me to do something stupid to get us both to the point of being satisfied, but I felt as though it was more important to have her nearby than not…

Maybe I just have separation/abandonment issues… I mean, Dad, Babs, Slim John, and then Maxwell… I’ve lost a lot of people… I just don’t want to see anyone else leave, I guess.

Hopefully I’ll meet them again, and maybe I’ll be less reliant on them than I am on the people who surround me… Less reliant on the sauce and sex to distract me from that dull ache…

Fuck, I need a drink