As much as I’d have liked to take my time getting back to Twilight’s, my naturally long strides didn’t afford me much time for my on-the-go meditation. I sighed to myself, lamenting the amount I was most likely going to end up drinking to rid myself of the harsh, dark thoughts plaguing the gutters my mind had been haunting for years. Hopefully there was still booze from the party, but Equus’ Lady Luck could easily come and backhand me with another day of sobriety and another long night of bad memories. For a second I wondered how the fuck I’d been able to actually get sleep the night before thinking that it had probably been a result of sleeping in the same bed with Twilight. There was also plenty of space in my mind for pondering if Pinkie or Applejack would betray their silence. It chewed and ate away at me like a botfly with a knife and fork… I knew I could trust them, but at the same time I felt like I couldn’t believe what was too good to be true. All I could do was hope that they would keep their word and I hate hoping… I really, truly do. Hope means you get crushed. Hope means you don’t think about every option, and hope means that there’s something better on the horizon. I couldn’t help but feel like my goal line was fading in the distance.

I set a few bags down so I could open the door, but I never quite got that far, seeing as how Twilight blew the door open with magic and charged straight into my chest. Luckily, her horn wasn’t a terribly sharp object, but she was still short, dense, and had been trying to rush off somewhere. She rammed into me, nearly blew me away, and damn near fucked my day up even worse. Twilight rubbed her head for a second while I rubbed my aching chest and gave her a stern look, but she barely spared me a look before charging off to wherever she was going. I would’ve been less annoyed if she’d check if I was okay at any point, but I guess I just didn’t warrant it. It took a minute to get the worst of the pain rubbed out, but even then it still fuckin’ hurt. There was no point in being mad for too long since she was in a hurry, but it was just inconsiderate and not really something I would’ve expected from Twilight.

After I shifted all my new shit into the room I slept in, I decided to go on a walk. Preferably a long walk. Anything to avoid standing still. I checked my boots to see if my knives were secure and was satisfied; they tended to get a little loose after a while, so regular checks were a part of a routine I’d gotten out of since coming to Equestria. Since I had already gotten a shower at Rarity’s it was a nice day to stroll and not worry about anything since Onyx had told me that I had two days off. My new clothes were surprisingly breezy, if not a little posh for my tastes. Even if I thought the new clothes were a little much, they were still nice and they’d been a gift, so I tried not to mess them up. I walked around Ponyville instead of through it this time so I could further build my mental map. Once on the exact opposite side of town, I saw a tiny cottage a decent walk away from the edge of that enormous forest that was the Everfree.

Half of the things I’d read in that bestiary were compiled from expeditions in the Everfree. When I say ‘compiled’ I mean a fucktonne of Ponies have gone in, made a small amount of progress, recorded what they saw, and got the hell out as soon as possible, so there aren’t any comprehensive or in-depth studies about the place. I didn’t really want to go in because of the monsters inside and that was good enough reason for me to stay away. There was also the fact that people who’d been prepared for an extended stay had wound up missing almost every time, so no. I’m good. Apparently, the forest also changes over time so few of the maps in that place are accurate, and that’s not even mentioning that the Everfree has the highest concentration of Chimeras, Manticores, Cockatrices, and just about any other dangerous mythological creature you could imagine. As I understood it, the Pony living there either had to be completely and irrevocably stupid, or have a pair of the biggest, shiniest pair of rainbow-titanium balls out there.

My next destination just so happened to be in that cabin, though I wasn't sure what was going to be there.

It wasn’t a terribly far walk, just a kilometer or so away. I made great time since I wanted to get there and see why the person living there was… Y’know, that crazy. It seemed like a stretch, even for a super-hippy with no regard for their own safety. As I approached, I noticed an abundance of small furry creatures scampering about, birds chirping as they flew threw the airspace, and a few larger animals just relaxing in the shade around the place. The atmosphere surrounded the peaceful little cottage felt as though it was permeating through the air, into my skin and through to my bones. It… The moment hit me in the face, the sense of… Safety, I guess, just hitting me harder than I thought it would. I knew certain places had certain energies to them, but the picturesque little Hobbit-Home brought a tear to my eye that I wasn’t afraid to shed for once. Somewhere deep inside, I felt like I was leaving the thief life behind more than I ever had, even with my simple steps forward. It was… I… I felt free. Like the part of nature I found myself in was perfectly sculpted from Eden itself and was meant for wayward souls; for someone in search of answers and wisdom from the world around them. Being there made me feel distant from the memories Graham had forced into my body, from my own tricky, dishonest ways, from the guilt of letting Maxwell and my Dad down… The closest thing I think that could I could liken it to having a wake-up call in the face of brand-new day. More 'Fuck... I'm gonna quit smoking.', than ‘Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!’, I would say.

Before I could really even register the peaceful tide wrecking my emotional barricades, there was a bear laying to the right me, a big black dog that was most likely a fuckin’ wolf lying on my left side, something soft under my head (which turned out to be a big fox) and a menagerie of weasels, ferrets, and the occasional wild cat of whatever kind covering most of my body. My eyes felt dry and sore like I’d been crying and I was on the ground for some reason. I don’t remember lying down or crying, so I’m sure I must have blacked out because of… Something. Maybe the sudden feeling of having my stress lifted from my shoulders was too much. Maybe I just found a good place to break down and couldn’t remember it. Neither explains why I was surrounded by predators, nor do either have anything to do with it. I figured that lying down for a while longer wouldn’t hurt anyone; after all, the animals were all soft and warm. I felt like I’d barely closed my eyes when I heard a certain someone’s characteristic feather soft voice.

“O-oh my!” exclaimed Fluttershy. “M-Max…? Are you… Are you okay?”

“To be honest with you, Fluttershy, I have absolutely no clue. I was walking towards a cabin near here to see who lived there. Next thing I know I’m on the ground covered in animals.”

“O-Oh... Are you okay?”

“Probably not, but I feel better.”

“D-Do… Do you need a-any help...?” She left the implication open.

I need a different kind of help, love. I don’t think I’ll find it with you or the girls. “I wouldn’t mind being able to stand. I don’t really wanna disturb them though”

“Y-you won’t. They’re all awake...”

At Fluttershy's mention of their conscious state, I heard about a dozen groans of various timbres and the animals that were on me scurried over the larger fellows that were around me. After my body was cleared of fuzz, I sat up, turned around and looked Fluttershy in the eyes. It was hard to tell her expression since half of her face was covered by her hair, but I could feel that she was rather concerned for some reason. I offered her a smile and she smiled back, but it wasn’t genuine. Ponies seemed to be really bad at faking emotions from what I could tell, largely wearing their hearts on their sleeves through some form of naivete or innocent honesty.

The bear lumbered away after nudging me with its head which I returned by rubbing its ears. The fox and I nodded to each other. I’m pretty sure the animals around there are sentient, if not sapient, which was and is pretty cool. I expected the massive dog to follow the others or go its own way, but when I stood it just stuck to my side. Upon closer investigation, I found out that I’d been right in assuming that it was actually a wolf, and what fuckin’ creature it was. I didn’t know if it was male or female, but when I reached out to them, it touched its muzzle to my hand before gently biting it. Not hard enough to her or even leave a mark, but I still felt its warm breath and the tenderness behind the action. I hadn’t thought for so much as a second that I was going to lose a hand, but I’ve always trusted animals more than people. Animals were the most honest beings out there besides plants as far as I could tell, and I think I understood what the wolf was trying to say… I dunno if I was reading too far into it, but I got the gist anyway. I may have been a bit startled by this fact that I had a moment with a wolf as high as my chest on four legs, but I reasoned that if it hadn’t eaten me while I was out cold or bitten my hand off, then I was most likely safe with it.

Still, I had to know one thing. ”So, Fluttershy, what brings you to this neck of the woods? Are you visiting too?”

“U-Um… A-Actually I live here… That’s my house…” she said, pointing to the cottage. I should have known; the whole place had a Fluttershy-esque vibe to it now that I wasn’t being assaulted by repressed emotions.

“Your house?” She nodded. “I’m guessing you like animals.” Another nod. “Can I ask why you keep a bear and a wolf as companions? I’m not trying to be mean or anything, it just seems odd for a vet to keep so many wild creatures around.”

Fluttershy blushed. “Th-They’re not really wild… I found Bearett as a cub and kept him here until we could find his mother,” Fluttershy looked sad for a moment, casting a glance toward the shade where Bearett had settled, “I-I found her, but…” She shook her head to clear her thoughts. “Lupa found me a few years ago when I was lost in the forest, looking for Chippy the Chipmunk. I-I got attacked by a Teumessian Fox-”

“A what now?” I cut in.

“A-A T-T-Teumessian Fox… One of Mr. Foxy’s relatives…” She clarified. Flutters looked to me nervously before I caught the hint and gestured for her to continue. I could feel Lupa lying down against my leg. “L-Lupa jumped in and saved me… She followed me back and she’s been with me ever since…”

I looked down to the aforementioned wolf with more than a little respect. If the animals here were, in fact, sentient, then Lupa knew the risks of fighting. I could appreciate the nobility of such an action. “Wow, seems like you were lucky Lupa stepped in, Flutters”

Fluttershy made the most adorable sound I’ve heard. I don’t know what it’s called, but I’m calling it a squee. “I-I know- M-Max!?” It was a good squeeze. “Wh-Why... I-I mean, I don't m-m-mind, b-but why are you h-h-hugging me?”

“Because you’re adorable. And soft, but mostly adorable.” And I’ve wanted to do this since I met you.

“O-Oh… Th-Thank you...” I didn’t really know why I was hugging her, but I’ll be damned if I wasn’t going to enjoy it. As little time as I’ve spent around her, I really liked Fluttershy. After patting her back a couple times, I let her go and opened my mouth before she said, “M-Max?”

“Yes, Fluttershy?”

“... Are you sure you’re… W-Well, I know you must feel very… discombobulated…”

I put on a mask and she frowned. “I’m fine, Flutters. Be right as rain after I shake off the fustercluck, y’know?”

“... You just seem… Like…” I waited for her to continue, but she looked down. “... Like you’re carrying something heavy on your back…”

“... I am, but I don’t want to bother you with it. I’ll be alright, Fluttershy.”

Her eyes held an answer I didn’t like, then she outright said it. “... Don’t do anything rash, o-okay…? It’ll get better...” Twilight has bandages. I’ll be fine.

“I know, I just have to get through this rough patch so I can prep for the next one. Like I keep saying, I’ll be alright.”

“If you say so…” She took a breath and let out a little sigh. “... Did Twilight already t-tell you about the picnic?”

I let her go and shook my head, confused. “Last time I saw Twilight, she was running off somewhere after nearly impaling me.”

“O-oh… I’m sure she was very sorry.”

“Didn’t seem like it,” I grumbled.

“That… That doesn’t really seem like Twilight…”

“I figured. She must have been off to do something important, so I can’t really be too upset.”

“I-I’m sure she’ll apologize later…”

I put on my most ‘yeah, right’ face and Fluttershy looked abashed. I told her not to worry about it and chatted with her for awhile. She invited me in for tea which was delicious, though the woman really needs some social experience. I basically ended up telling her the most pleasant stories of my past and asking her questions about some of the animals I’d seen. If it weren't for my social aptitude and general ability to carry a conversation, the time would have been spent in silence and awkwardness, but I felt like it was because Fluttershy wanted to talk me about something specific. However, I would've preferred to start flirting with her more overtly since my subtlety was too much for her to pick up on. Maybe she was just really disinterested and didn’t see me as even being in her league, but she really just didn’t seem to pick up on the little stuff I threw her way. The longer we talked, the more she tried to steer the conversation toward things we’d done in our youth, but I didn’t want to talk about dark days. There weren’t a lot of things I could really say about my early life since I’d mostly just lived through it, and just living to survive… That’s not what Ponies want to hear about. They like the happy, funny stuff that they can relate to… Hell, Pinkie walked away when I started talking about my past, and I hadn’t even gotten to the parts that really were hard to talk about. Fluttershy didn’t really want to dig that deep. Even if she did, I wasn’t going to let her.

Lupa had eventually meandered in after us and was chilling next to me when Fluttershy derailed the current topic and spoke up. “Hey, Max…”

“Yes?”

“Have you ever had a pet?” Lupa’s ears perked up. I know where this was going already.

“I don’t think I could take care of Lupa the way she deserves at Twilight’s, Flutters.”

Fluttershy looked surprised and Lupa’s ears fell back. They were both disappointed with my statement, but there wasn’t really much I could do. I’d have to ask Twilight before I even thought of bringing an animal into her home. “W-Well.. Do you think you could maybe ask Twilight if it’d be okay?” I think Fluttershy reads minds… Nice rack, can I suck the left one?

I waited a second and she just stared right back at me. Once I knew she wasn’t a telepath, I said, “Sorry, I was waiting for you to read my mind. I’ll ask Twilight when I see her, if she isn’t still running around.”

With that, I up and finished up my visit, giving Fluttershy a hug that she actually returned. Again, other than for the two reasons every man loves hugging women, I didn’t see a purpose for hugging her so much. It just felt like something I should do to boost my mood, and it actually did bring a smile to my face. Lupa followed me to the door but stayed inside with Fluttershy, so I rubbed her ears before I left and told her I’d find a way to take care of her myself in soft whispers. That being said, I didn’t know how I was going to pull off such a feat with the resources allotted to me, but I still wanted to do it. Thinking back on my time with Flutters The picnic was actually around noon the next day so I could go home and just relax. Before I get into that, have I ever mentioned that I hate it when things don’t go my way?

When I stepped onto the stoop of Golden Oaks, I caught an eyeful of big, bouncy breasts at the door. I looked up to see Celestia glaring down at me with great vengeance and furious anger. “Afternoon, Celestia... How’s it going?” I squeaked.

“Explain yourself,” she commanded, the power of her glare abso-fucking-lutely terrifying. The knowledge that she could do anything to me and not have recourse even grace her city… Let alone her doorstep?

Powerful motivator.

She wanted me to talk? I talked. And I fuckin’ did it real quick. “I-I- was born in Swindon to B-Babs Grace and Kin-ka-Kinkaid Gadai and we lived there for a decade before Mum killed Dad then we moved to Go-Gollum and lived in a hellhole for a couple years until she poisoned herself to death and I was on the streets an- and there was a man named Slim Jo-John who taught me how live without-”

She raised her hands, her glare dying down while I tried not to shake like a leaf. “... Max, what did you do to Twilight?”

“... Cuddle her?” I took a breath

“... Would you know why Twilight was feeling a little more… Aroused, than usual in the morning?”

I stared at her, still seeing that she was about to slap the jaw off of my face. “... Pr-Probably because we were spooning… She was handsy all night… Are- Are you tring to say…?”

“... I suppose I should have just asked..” The fire faded from her gaze as a touch of frustration entered her features. And a touch of regret, if I was reading her correctly. “... I do apologize for that, Max, but I honestly thought that you invited yourself into Twilight’s bed. All things that I know of you would point toward a more innocent direction, but I assumed the worst.” I nodded my head, kinda shook. “... My sincerest apologies, Maximus. I had no right to intimidate you as I have. I do hope we can put this misunderstanding behind us.” I cracked a smile I wasn’t feeling. “As for Twilight, has she been acting strangely lately? A little more absent-minded, more hands-on, and perhaps even flirty?” I nodded. “... That silly mare.” She rubbed her temples.

“... Did- Did Twilight… She doesn’t remember a damn thing about the party, does she?”

“Not at all. Pinkie mentioned that she seemed different and she mentioned some… Mare-related things that would paint you in a bad light. I didn’t take you for the type to push in such a way, but…”

“No worries… I’m just gonna…” I jerked a thumb behind me and started walking back.

“Max.”

“Staying here.”

“What did you initiate last night?”

“... Twilight wanted to go down to the basement to experiment on something and I was hammered, so I wanted to go to bed. I almost passed out on the couch and she came back from the bathroom wanting snuggles. Snuggles are nice. I like snuggles. There were only snuggles.”

“... So you wanted to go to bed and Twilight wanted more.” Celestia folded her arms, but I didn't dare look. I chose to look at her knuckle as it rested against her lip. “Max, can I ask you a personal question?”

“I’m not fuckin’ gonna ignore it, I’ll tell you that much.” Try humor. Make her laugh, fool!

She smiled a bit and chuckled. “... You know, even while you were scared of me, you never used my titles.”

“... Sorry?” I’m not, but I don’t wanna die.

“Don’t apologize for something you care nothing about.” She chuckled at that. “No, you never did say whether or not you minded my question.”

“My head hurts. Just ask.” Please. Shit, shoulda said that.

“Are the males of your race known for estrus or anything of the sort?”

“Es- Oh, you mean like a heat-season or something?”

“If that’s how you understand a heightened libido during certain times, then yes.”

“Uh… No, not even the females of our race have that. They do something called ‘menstruation’ once a month or every so many days. It makes gals a little… Uh, a little more likely to look for a partner, but-”

“I’m aware of the menstrual cycle and its unfortunate side-effects. I was just wondering why you didn’t… Take advantage of the situation, if you will.”

“... I might’ve been drunk, but Twilight was three sheets to the wind. One of us wasn’t going to remember what happened and I had a feeling Twilight would wanna remember it, at least. Even if she wanted to forget, I’d rather not make that kind of choice while drunk.” She raised a brow. ”Again. In fairness, she was around your age and I was seventeen, so...” Your first time’s supposed to be special… I’d hate for her to give it to me.

“I’m going to take that last part as a compliment.”

“Cool.”

“... So you were drunk as well?”

“Yeah. Had a feeling Twilight still had her V-Card before the drinking even started… Kinda insulted by the fact she had to be drunk to be willing.” I shrugged it off.

“You’re… You are an even better stallion than I gave you credit for, circumstances withstanding and notwithstanding.” Wait, does that mean you thought I was a creep before this even happened…? “I had a feeling that Twilight was going to find some level of infatuation with you. You do have a certain charm to you.”

“... And what?” I asked, getting kinda testy with my tone. “You thought I’d just add Twilight to the list and forget her or something? The woman… She opened her home to me. How the fuck am I gonna repay that by taking her V-Card? I’ll admit, I kinda suck, but-”

“What do you mean?”

“... I’m trying to be a better person, but shitty people are shitty for a reason. A week isn’t enough time to undo years, but… I’ve never been someone’s first. There are better people out there for Twilight to give that to. It’s an honor, not something you steal.” Watch your tone, fool! Don’t bark at the Princess-bitch!

Celestia gave me a soothing smile, her expression telling me I’d said worse about myself than she’d meant to imply. “Maximus, you are a good stallion. Many would have taken Twilight’s advances and claimed her marehood for their own-”

“I’m not a good stallion because I didn’t date rape someone.”

“Two drunk ponies make mistakes, Max. You were inebriated as well, no?”

“Well, yeah, but-”

“And through the fog you saw a gift you felt you had no claim to, no?”

“Yeah, but-”

“Good stallion. Stop arguing with me about not being a terrible pony.” She chuckled and shook her head, giving me a patient look.

“I’ll argue with you about the plug in your bum!”

“... I-I beg your pardon?”

“The plug. In your bum. You have to be a sexual deviant if you’re a Princess. It’s natural.” I turned my nose up at her, giving her some subtle side-eye to gauge her reaction.

“... There is no… Plug!?” She broke out into laughter, making me breathe a sigh of relief. “Why would you assume such a thing?”

“You said you expected less from me. I expected butt-stuff from you. You do have a great bum, by the way. It’s not as nice as your general congeniality, but still. Quite noteworthy.” She hid a smile behind her hand. “Rather impressive, I might say.” Her cheeks reddened. “Why, I’d go so far as to call you downright callipygean.”

“How do you even know what that means!?” She burst out into another round of laughter. “Oh dear stars above! I swear, you either have to be one of the most respectable, observant, and wisest stallions I’ve met in the common era,” Celestia rubbed her cheeks, her smile wide and gave me a look so mild, it was probably edible by all Caucasians, “or you have to the most foalish, loquacious simpleton I’ve ever met!”

“... Damn. The latter part was kinda uncalled for.” I shot her a dirty look.

“Oh, you stubborn mule!” She was still giggling a bit. “You’d call yourself much worse if given the opportunity, and I don’t think we’ll be doing that. In fact, I believe we’re going to eliminate a problem for you.” Don’t cut off my dick! I like peeing in public!

“... Okay.”

“How would you like a home to call your own? No more ‘burdening’ Twilight,” she used some heavy air-quotes, “and a space that you can do as you please with? Call it an apology for being fooled by the panicked words of an inexperienced mare.”

“Can I bang Twilight at my place when she’s sober?” Celestia stopped smiling, so I started up with mine. “That’s the look I like to see! I’m not gonna sleep with Twilight, by the way.”

“... You don’t like being praised in the slightest, do you? Not when it comes to the things that matter.” Her brow furrowed and she seemed to peer right through me.

I blushed and turned away. “... I don’t need anyone else’s approval…”

“I see… Perhaps we could avoid praising a good stallion for a few minutes while I take care of this deed business?”

"Yes!" I blurted out as soon as she finished her sentence. Having a house of my own was my dream! "That would be- Er, I mean yeah, cool. Makes sense. Totally. Didn’t think you were being serious at first, but...”

Celestia was wearing an amused smile before she wrote out a note and magicked it away.“Come, Max. We will walk to the Town Hall!” Grandiose, much? Fuck it, I get my own place!

And so we did, talking about random things the entire way, ranging from foreign affairs to our favorite jokes, and more than a few thinly veiled innuendos. Once it was clear that I wasn’t really going after Twilight, Celestia seemed to take it as an invitation to start flirting. It was fun to be able to go back and forth so shamelessly without the other party getting the wrong idea, and it didn’t hurt that Celestia was beyond attractive for a woman her height anyway. The way she let those hips sway certainly had me jotting down ‘cold shower’ on my to-do list, but then I realized that like, ten minutes with the Princess had cleared my head faster than any drug. It was kind of addicting, the way she seemed to know when to push and when to pull. It’s almost as if she had a good grip on what I’d say and do based on our previous conversations. The feeling of having her see me… I still didn’t want to tell her about my past and had only spouted vague things about what I did share, but a part of me knew that there would be a time for her to know it all… That was kinda scarty in and of itself, but I felt we’d bonded over her anger, especially when she said the worst thing she’d planned on doing was scolding me.

On a lighter note, the way her breasts jiggled incited more than a few jokes about two extra suns. Celestia, in turn, all but invited me to dinner once the air was clear and the good time was rolling. I didn’t really know how to gauge her responses since they all seemed to be pre-measured, but I was sure to keep my hands to myself in any case. Though she had a surprisingly open mind for a woman a few thousand years my senior, I wasn’t willing to push my luck in public. Celestia was a great person to just talk to and had a sense of humor to kill Uncle Bob. Cougars weren’t really my thing so much as Milfs (Small difference, fine line), but I think I could make an exception for Miss Sun-Princess if she asked.

We arrived at the Town Hall and I held the door for Celestia because I’m nice and was trying to be a gentleman for once, not because I’m some fuckhead fedora. She gave me a small smile and held the door open with magic, making me feel rather foolish for trying to be polite. “Well thanks for letting me hold the door, Sunshine. Not like I was trying to do something sweet or anything,” I said jokingly

“You just wanted an excuse to be behind me, you pervert,” Celestia replied with more than a little mirth. Damn, I got pegged in a heartbeat…

Once we were around more ponies, however, her demeanor changed from fun, flirty, and free to restrained, polite, and matronly. It was odd to see such a transition, but the job of a good ruler usually requires a good mask. Or, at least, that’s what the books I’ve read have told me. The more I thought about it, the more I wondered if Celestia just liked the novelty of being treated as a regular person and if I just filled a role for her. I didn’t really care. Most women used me for the stuff no one else would do, and I just rolled with it. Scat and wee were off the table, but I’d done a lotta kinky shit over the years for a warm bed and a break from the nightmares. Might’ve sacrificed my pride a time or two, but if it made them happy, then I could deal with it.

Celestia told me to wait outside a random room she walked into and I obliged. A few minutes passed and I was dragged into the Mayor’s office where I was formally introduced to Mayor ‘Mare’, a name I found completely ridiculous. I kept this opinion to myself, needless to say. What I had been invited in to discuss turned out to be where I’d like to live. It… It was really happening... There was a decent selection of nice combination homes, townhouses, apartments, and small houses, which was completely shocking in a town so small. I weighed my choices and picked a house that had been constructed close to the Whitetail Woods, a pleasant little forest that was inhabited by deer and some of Fluttershy’s other animals. We exchanged pleasantries for a while longer before Celestia yawned and excused us from the company of the mild middle-aged mare. Sunny might’ve been a teetering on the brink of Cougar-dom, but Mary?

She probably had a couple cubs, or would’ve if there were any available.

As Celestia and I were walking… Somewhere, she said, “So, Max.”

“Yes, Celestia?”

“You can either count this as a favour or a boon.” She stated matter of factly.

“... I can repay the favour, right?”

Her mild smile was a little smug. “Oh? You wouldn’t want a free house with no strings attached?”

“... Not really…”

“Then I do believe I’ve gotten quite the picture of your character. I’ll certainly be ‘cashing in’ on my favour at a later date. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it on some level~” Please tell me you need me for a sexy kink- Oh. Don’t peg me. Please don’t…

With that disturbing thought on my mind, I tried to keep a decent smile. “Of course, Celestia. I didn’t expect anything I’ve ever gotten for free. Everything has its price. Speaking of which, when can I move in?”

“You could go now if you’d like, though I’ll have movers fill the place with some appropriate furniture come tomorrow. You may choose to stay with Twilight for the time being if you don't like the idea of sleeping on a hard floor.” She chuckled.

“...As much as I’d like to stay in the home of someone who painted me as a molester or worse, I think I’ll take my chances at my new flat.” I couldn’t help the smile on my face.

“Excited to have your own home?”

“Celestia, excited… It doesn’t cover it. A house of my own to do what I want with is beyond my wildest dreams. I always wanted my own flat or something, but an entire house? I didn’t think I’d get one til I was in my golden years...“

“I suppose you’ve been without a home for some time then?”

“I had a place to sleep and ways to make life comfortable. It just wasn’t an actual house, y’know?”

“To a point, but you were in an abandoned building if I’m guessing correctly.”

“... Does it matter?”

“It makes me realize that you’re seizing an opportunity that could have slipped away if you’d let your struggles corrupt you. A true ‘gilded pauper’, as the old, old saying goes.”

“Guess I would be to a point.” I smirked instead of grimacing, leaving it there.

Celestia took the time to help me with my bags at Twilight’s using magic and walked me home. We went to my house. I... Damn, does that feel good to say, think, write, and actualize. A place to call mine. A place where I could walk around and be seen leaving. I could go in whenever I wanted, I could leave, and I could decorate it. It was... It was actually mine. Granted, I was a little worried about the favour Celestia was going to call in, but even taking something else up the arse would be worth it for my own place to cry it out whenever it was done. My space to exist and clean and cook and… God…

Sunny apparently knew where everything was everywhere just by peeking at a map, so getting there wasn't a problem. The fact that she’d barely glanced at the map and then called herself old and forgetful during the walk was mentioned and she, of course, said she didn’t remember saying anything of the sort. When my house came into view my heart skipped a beat: It was small, enough space for two but most certainly not a palace. It didn’t need to be a palace to be my castle. I saw the wide expanse of land that encompassed the surrounding area and the adequate distance from the Whitetail Woods. Needless to say, I was absolutely overjoyed.

The walls were all a dark slate-ish blue that that looked nice with the grey borders. The murals of clouds being pretty nice in my opinion. My kitchen was large enough for a team of two to tackle a task and the living room? Bigger than the entire flat that Maxwell and I had lived in back in our best year. The bathroom had two parts separated by a door and a shower in each part, as well a loo and sink. However, the master-bath was a little nicer and the tub was bigger, so I could easily imagine a few soaks in the big, pale blue tub. There was also a lock on either side of the master bath’s door, so I was pretty sure that I could get away with locking both of them. Knowing about it and seeing it in person… I shared my joy with Celestia through hug-power and bit back another round of tears that I didn’t want to fall, just smiling the entire time I held her.

“Never met another Princess, but you are by far the best ever!” I said from the confines of her voluptuous bosom. Not that I had placed myself there, of course.

“I imagine I would be, seeing as how I’m the only one you know. Now, as nice as that feels, I doubt you’d want to satisfy the desires of Granny Celestia.” She said with heavy sarcasm and a roll of her eyes.

I saw a shot and I took it. “Granny? No, I wouldn’t call you Granny. You’re more like the mature lady down the way that mows her lawn with a bikini top.” I said from betwixt her fluffy fun bags. Celestia, if there was a bed in that house, I’d probably make you break a hip. ‘Granny’ my arse.

“Oh? Then what would you call me if I wasn’t the mature woman down the way?”

“Bombshell. Buxom-Bonny-Beauty. Gorgeous-Gal. Amazing-Amazon. Almost kinda cute.” I grinned.

Celestia looked at me for a moment and I stayed where I was, prepared to run if I saw any sign of aggression. I never got the chance because she’d caught me with a spell and held me in place. Magic is overpowered and rather unfair, but that’s coming from a fellow who was being stared down by a Princess while floating, being held by the arms as she gave him a confusing look. I was helplessly in her grasp, and as Celestia leaned toward me slowly to build tension, I couldn’t help but wonder if I’d finally gone too far. I was expecting little more than a tongue lashing for going a bit overboard, so I can’t say I was terribly nervous. Taking the time to observe her eyes, glittering jewels as they were, told me I might get hurt. The gold regalia that she adorned seemed to attract looks to her eyes, the setting sun making the moment seem… Well, more magical. Her sizable bust outclassed Fluttershy’s by a wide margin as it pressed against my own scrawny chest, and I knew from earlier in the same day that her posterior was quite nice as well. On top of her endowments and blessings, she had the looks to top pretty much any who would go up against her. It wasn’t just her beauty though. Her impish, understanding, compassionate nature… And she was so fuckin’ perceptive! Few people ever knew that I didn’t like being complimented and I didn’t doubt that she knew the reason behind it.

I can safely say that I’d meant every damn word I’d said while we were together as long as it was a flirtation or observation. Celestia was the perfect woman wrapped up into one tall glass of Golly-Gee-Willikers!

When Celestia finished making me wonder what she was doing, she levitated me a bit higher so she could look me in the eye without looking down. Her magenta eyes met my own forest green ones and my heart pounded in my chest. “Lovely night isn’t it? Feels like you’re floating on the breeze~” I quipped. If you kiss me, I’m not going to be the one to pull away.

“... That was awful, but cute. You’re also far too young for me, so you may do well to remember that I’m older than your Great Great Grandmother.”

“I doubt anyone’s Gram would ever look anything like you do at your supposed age. To me, you still look young and ready for a night on the town! Which we walked through town, but it wasn’t really a date.” I replied with a winsome smile.

“You’re lucky I need to get back to Canterlot, or I’d make you live up to your little flirts. Farewell, Lover-Colt” Celestia gave me what I wanted for the briefest of seconds, barely giving me time to register the fact that she’d actually kissed me.

Then the bitch dropped me and teleported away. Meanwhile, I was on the ground, confused and slightly shocked. I had either just gotten a bite from the best catch in the country or she’d taken pity on me and had known that I was smitten like no other. One of those scaroused me, and the other made me feel a little… Lame. I chose to pick myself up and begin further investigation of my new home instead of being in my head. Then I remembered that Celestia was no longer carrying the clothes Rarity had given me and ran out of my house to go and get them before bullshit could happen. When I got back, I finished up my own tour and found that the rest was interesting. The master bedroom was large enough for a small party of a few people with chairs provided, the bathroom had a tub large enough for a fellow like myself to lie down and be completely submerged, and the guest bedroom was quaint. Quite frankly, I was shocked that all of the space was mine.

Still slightly in shock, I wandered my way back to Twilight’s. I really didn’t want to go, but we needed to talk. When I got there, Twilight apologized vehemently for almost getting me killed or arrested, though I was too busy being irritable to listen to her. “Max, I am so sorry! Celestia-”

“You’re lucky she heard me out, Twilight. You were coming onto me all night…” Aw, fuck… Stop looking so fucking guilty! I’m trying to be mad at you!

Tears were already in her eyes. “I-I’m s-sorry, I-I don’t know what came over me!”

“Well, if it comes over you again, stay sober. I won’t promise anything, but I like you. You’re cute. And cuddly.”

She blinked, looking a little confused and still about to cry. “... I-I’m sorry...?”

“I accept your apology.” I reached out and took her by the chin gently, giving her a peck on the cheek. “Due to your little slip-up, I got a house of my own. You’re invited to come stop by sometime with or without the others or Celestia. Just don’t get drunk and do… The whole debacle. Don’t do the debacle.”

“... So… We-We’re still friends?” Hope entered her expression.

Fuck meee! Why are you so aderpable!? “Yeah, Purps. We’re still friends.”

Twilight didn’t waste any time in hugging me. “Oh, thank you, Max! I didn’t want to lose my first male friend over something silly!” First…? You- You are such a virgin. I gotta find some weed and when I do, I’m getting you so high.

I hugged her back and let the chips lay where they fell. I doubted that Twilight was going to make a move again, but I couldn’t be all that disappointed. After all, I could have something going with Celestia~ When Twilight let go, which she did in an appropriate time frame, I went back home and chilled out for the night. A few hours later and I was resting peacefully in my house after giving Twilight a second chance like I myself had gotten. Well, not on the same scope, but the same in name. I gave my forgiveness without hesitation because her remorse and guilt were written all over her face. The gal hadn’t meant to start trouble, she’d just been startled and apparently sticky. Her sincerity was adequate reason to not hold a grudge, and it was considered it a matter of the past. I liked the past; things could die there without being bothered and sometimes you could razz someone about the dumb shit they did. Yes, I forgave her, but I was still going to hold it over her head from time to time.

I reflected on my happier memories as I lay on the hardwood floor of my new home, thinking of worse times in fits and spurts. Better days had come, just like I said they would. I wrote until right about… Now! In my own fucking house! I still needed food and whatnot, but that could wait until the weekend was over in two more days. For the time being? Hell, I can do whatever I want in my house and that’s such a nice thing to be able to say… It’s a brand new, golden day.

For now the king sleeps in his barren castle. His castle.