I slept far better that night than I had during the one before. Hell, to a point I already prefer this world to Earth in some ways, though that doesn’t mean that I don’t still ache for home a little. Knowing that I can’t go back helps anyways, but even if I’d swapped origin points and found myself on Earth from Equus… It would’ve been a downgrade and I would be dead or on my way there. Most certainly, I’d say. The air smelled good here, the food was better when I could eat it, the ruling class was cool, and making friends was easy. No one seemed too sketchy or had a hidden agenda and my little squabble with RD was solved with a handshake and an apology. I even got to flirt with a fucking Princess! And her student, but I was more hype about the Princess thing because it either meant I had mad game or was actually kinda cute like Rarity said. Yeah, Kaid could barely pick up chicks without nailing the delivery of every line, but Maximus? Christ, was I ever going to have it easy while trolling for a piece.

There’s also a lot more cool stuff regarding Equestria that I just haven’t mentioned, but it’s all basically the same crap, just in different, better avenues, I guess. No matter how cool all of that was though, I still lacked a way of getting revenue other than stealing. From what Twilight had told me, crime was rare in our part of the world so it would be awfully hard to find an employer that dealt in my line of work. Well, I could always talk to Celestia about the spy thing, but even then I didn’t really wanna fuckin’ die. Hell, if she used me to steal stuff for the state, that’d be perfectly fine by me, even if I never did really enjoy theft. Yeah, I took pride in it, but when you do something for the better part of a decade... Wouldn’t you make your peace with it, even if you were trying to get out of the life?

Anyway… My dreams… I don’t want to commit my dreams to paper on the off chance that someone finds my journals. Someone might think I need real mental help, which I… Probably do in all honesty. The more I think about Twilight’s words, the more it feels like they were true when she said no one normal lives my life and is just okay afterwards. That, and the fact that my nightmares are usually warped memories… I’d woken up in cold sweats for a long time, shaking the terrors of the night from my mind both then and now. I usually called it a night’s worth and got my day started in Wiltshire, but I just continued writing now if I didn’t finish my journal the night before. It’s kinda therapeutic, getting my deeper thoughts on paper.

It was still dark out when I got up in the ‘morning’, but working in the dark was kind of my specialty. I felt my way out of the dark room and to the hall where I could actually see a bit more. With the biggest hurdle out of their way, I went to the bathroom without any real trouble and took a nice enough shower, the configuration of the damn thing throwing me through a loop or two. It took a couple tries but I still got the water to go to the correct temperature all the same. I didn't hop in immediately, taking a little time to get busy and process some of the things I'd seen in the past few days. My hostess was pretty much the main one on my mind besides Celestia, but I’d seen the most of Twilight, so it made sense. Still felt guilty afterwards, but that’s the nut-life for ya. Speaking of, she’d had been generous enough to loan me a towel and a washcloth making the only things I needed more clothes. Rarity had promised me a few new outfits to repay me for bringing Steven Magnet’s gift, so that was taken care of, but I still needed money that I could actually spend without suspicion. Food was one thing, but having evidence on my body? Unwise. Besides, if I had legitimate money, I could pay Twilight for letting me stay with her, Rarity for the clothes, and buy whatever else I needed without having to lie about it.

Yeah, it’s simplistic, but it makes sense to me.

I sighed as I finished up feeling like I wasted half of my life learning skills I couldn’t use anymore. I just… A guy like me needs to get out and do something, plain and simple. Staying inside my first and second days in Ponyville had been making me go stir crazy, so going about getting a job would most likely help more than I probably knew at the moment. Feeling like I finally had a goal to start looking forward to and a way to get moving towards, I dried off and started looking toward the true beginning of a new life when I heard the door swing open. A half-dressed Twilight and a fully naked K- Max made eye contact, though her eyes happened to slide a little downwards. Mine remained above chest level, mind you, even though she was wearing about as much as she had been the day before. Yes, I knew she was wearing lace, but no, I didn’t stare. Twilight, however, was cherry-red all over again and showed no intention of moving her eyes, so I might’ve flopped it around a bit; a twitch or two to catch her eye.

“Do you ever knock, or did you just want to sneak a peek?” I quipped. I’ve never been afraid to show off what I’ve got, but being stared at was more awkward than I was willing to admit.

“I-I-”

“I’m not shy, but this is getting a little awkward. I’d turn around, but…” I shrugged.

She nodded and cracked and awkward smile. “I uh… Good morning?”

I made it twitch and her eyes left my face. “I’m getting dressed now.”

She froze and I had a chuckle at her antics, but I also wasn’t that worried about it. At the same time I kind of wished that the situation had been reversed and I’d been the one to catch a peek of her. Twilight was actually incredibly cute, it was just that she was purple as fuck. The look on her face when she got the towel off of her shoulder and realized she was barely more dressed than I was had me giggling like mad. It was absolute gold. She sputtered for a few moments before skittering out of the bathroom, arse looking fantastic the entire time. Honestly she’d had one of- Well, it was probably the nicest I’d felt in a good few years. Just the right amount of suppleness with an underlying firmness that… Lemme stop before I pop my sausage. I swear, Twilight makes it far too easy to get a peek and a reaction sometimes, but she’s the perfect kinda tart for her own style. With that being said, I took the time to adjust the sapling that had been steadily. I took my time in getting out of the bathroom and caught a peek when I poked my head out of the door to see what the sound was. Twilight had her hand pressed against her lower bits and was breathing a little heavily, that was about it.

I actually stepped out and said, “Damn, that was a great show- Oh, sup Twi? Didn’t think you’d stick around.”

“H-Hey, Max! It’s a wood morn- Good! Good morning!” Twilight blurted out. Her expression said that she’d stuck her foo- hoof, in her mouth. I thought it was unnecessarily adorable.

Applejack, you got competition~ “You could say that, though there’s a perv running around spying on folks when they get out of the shower. You should be careful, Twilight. Sweet little tart like you could be a target~” I said with a wink. I had no intention of disrespecting Twilight in the slightest by sneaking a peek, but she didn’t need to know that.

“O-Oh, that would- That’s…” She stared at me, holding her blouse down so I couldn’t see anything.

“I know, rude right?” I smirked at her. “Someone peeped my sausage and I just feel so embarrassed!”

“I-I’m sorry, I-”

“Oi, it’s fine. I’m not mad or anything, or even really all that embarrassed. Are you heading in?” I jerked my thumb over my shoulder.

“Y-Yes! Yes I am!”

“Don’t let the shower get too cold~”

She didn’t have anything to say to the joke, so she slipped into the safety of the bathroom. I watched with a smirk as she went, not bothering to avert my eyes, but the hand she’d kept behind her caught my eye more so than her lovely bottom; I swear I could see a discoloration of the fur on her fingertips. I shrugged thoughts of impurity out of my mind and continued to the kitchen because thinking like that was going to lead to assumptions. Assumptions are for dumbarses and jackasses, which I am only one of at a time. Spike had taken Twilight's place as the late riser this morning, so I had plenty of time to tease her. I think I was starting to rub off on her seeing as how she blushed less and less and even started flirting back, albeit… Well, I hesitate to say poorly, but it was pretty clear that she had no idea how to talk to a guy as anything other than a colleague. I was beginning to enjoy my time with Twilight a bit more than I had been, even if we weren’t doing anything other than talking. It was honestly… Well, it was kind of a time that I treasured because I rarely get to spend time with women around my age, and even if we were flirting, it was just nice to sit and talk to a ‘normal person’ about normal stuff.

Usually whenever I actually sit down to talk to someone, it’s over a drink or to discuss business, but with Twilight it was just nice to have a normal conversation over food and coffee. I really liked what I knew of her and the fact that she was showing interest in me… It almost sucked. Point blank. Yes, I like catching an eye as much as the next guy, but I felt like Twilight’s interest was half scientific, partially for friendship, and then the rest was for sex and little other than that. I have to admit that I wasn’t fond of the feeling I got whenever she tried to flirt with me, though I still liked Twilight enough to respond in kind with some of my better material.

Breakfast passed without a major incident and plenty of chuckles. Spike collected the dishes after we were finished, so I started off to go find the herbiary I had been reading yesterday when Twilight stopped me.“Hey, Max? Can you help me with something later today? Pretty please?” She inquired.

When she clasped her hands together and tried to give me potent purple puppy-dog eyes, I felt the sugar in my blood rise, even if I was largely unaffected. I still got a giggle out of her antics. I’d been given ‘The Eyes’ far too many times for them to work any more naturally, but “Twilight, you don’t need to do that. It would take a bastard to not help you.” I replied, “Which reminds me that you do look pretty nice today, even if you are short.”

“Well, thank you, I think.” She smiled, her brows a little furrowed. “What does me being quote unquote ‘short’ have to do with that, though?”

“Well, you can either be tall and beautiful or short and adorable, and I think you’re simply, undeniably adorable.”

“What’s the difference?”

“Uh… Cute versus beautiful, I guess.”

She rolled her eyes and smiled some more. “Yup, wily and weird is right. However, I really appreciate your help anyway!” Twilight hugged me out of nowhere, almost causing me to fall. The Ponies were too damn dense for that shit. I hugged her back, waiting for her to pull out of the embrace. Instead, she looked up and me and kept holding me. “What’s your favorite animal?”

“... Dogs, wolves, and foxes… What’s yours?”

“That was three. My favorite animals are owls.”

I… I didn’t know why she was hugging me so long. “Makes sense. They’re symbols of wisdom and you seem pretty wise.” And I’d better wisely break this hug before I poke you.

Over thirty seconds passed before she finally let go, though she ‘subtly’ took a deep whiff of me. Points for not making it obvious and all, but it was still a long hug. “I try to be!”

I looked at her with a raised brow. That… That was weird. That was so weird. “Fond of hugs, are we? Or am I just that sexy?” I smirked at her and awaited her response.

“Why not both?” She said, walking her fingers up my chest. When she met my collar bone, she moved her hand to my chin and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “We can all be multiple things at once; ponies are like gems and you’re a stallion, right?” We looked at one another for a few seconds. My face was heating up and hers was sultry and dorkly, but super cute.

I booped her nose and she looked at me like I’d grown horns. “I’m a Human. Also known as a man.” She blinked rapidly for a few seconds and flushed red, looking down to see that there was a little lump where she’d been so affectionately hugging me. The thing was that I found Twilight attractive and she was a great hugger, but I wasn’t expecting her to run away when she saw.

Kinda hurt my feelings.

She’d taken off damn-near as fast as Pinkie the Pink One had done the other day, leaving me awfully confused. Twilight had been fine with the harmless flirting earlier, so what changed? Hell, what sparked the look in her eye? I decided to go job hunting a little earlier so I could have some time to ponder the matter, but even then I knew that Twilight wanted some sausage. Or she had been drinking in her room and was just tipsy. The smell of wine had followed her consistently and it had been rather noticeable, so I wondered if she had a problem. I don’t have a problem because I didn’t day-drink unless I had nothing else to do. She could have done a lot of things since her life wasn’t based on taking shit and not getting caught, so… I’ll confess to being lost when I stepped outside and took in the vivid array of colors in front of me, inhaling that crisp, clean air again.

My day was looking up the second I got outside, but that didn’t mean that I wasn’t going to have to come back to Twilight’s mixed messages and awkward coquets. I walked my way into the town square with a spring in my step and a neutral look on my face, my best set for getting somewhere fast unaccosted. Most people were happy enough to leave the dour, half-pizza-faced man alone and that’s what I’d wanted. Of course, I still got stopped by a person or two and they asked how my day was going since Ponies really were as friendly as I’d thought, but apparently I was also fair game. Without any reason to lie, all four of the mares that had practically asked me on dates had almost managed to maneuver the conversation to something of the sort. It wasn’t that I was attractive like I’d hoped; There just wasn’t a ring on my finger or any real indicator that I might be taken. Being the new face in town made me a little popular, but it wasn’t what I wanted.

There were more Ponies of all shapes, sizes, and levels of attractiveness in the town square. I don’t know why Twilight called it Town Square if it was actually more circular than anything, but I digress. The Town ‘Square’ doubled as the marketplace where stalls were set up and businesses in buildings surrounded them. Of course, I’d noticed that when I’d first walked into town since the place wasn’t that big, but I was also reeling from culture shock and aliens, so I consider the timing right. There was a pretty decent variety of shops but there were few I could do anything with. I walked around Town Circle while looking at a few of the places that I’d have liked to work at when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

Behind me stood a tallish mare with long pink hair and butter yellow fur. She was wearing worn denim jeans and a baggy green sweater that did little to hide her sizable bust, and it’s not like her somewhat baggy trousers hid her hips either. The exact shape and tone of the woman/mare escaped me with her choice of clothing, but I did not give a single one. Her general vibe of shyness and bashful body-language was something I always found attractive in a girl and was a part of why I’d enjoyed so much of my morning with Twilight, even if she hadn’t noticed her own lack of modesty. Though confidence was my main turn on, I couldn’t help but find the Shy-Gal Serum to be a positively potent potion. It didn't hurt that she was stacked like Celestia, just with more tact and moderation with her proportions. I wished that she would have greeted me with a smile, a hug (Like some had), and maybe a smooch since her lips looked perfect for it. Alas, my ‘charm’ didn't work like that. I had to talk to get into her good graces, but as I was figuring that out all over again the buttery, shy mare mumbled something to me while looking at the ground, so all I heard was the background noise of the market.

“Beg pardon, love?” I asked, keeping my voice low and calm. It felt like I was talking to a frightened animal, and I assumed that she was the Buttershy woman Rarity had talked about.

“T-Twilight asked me to t-tell you to c-come back t-to the library a-around n-nightfall.” She mumbled again, barely loud enough to hear.

I’d had to lean in and focus on her lips to get the gist of it. “Thanks, love, I appreciate you coming to tell me.” She looked surprised, though she didn’t meet my gaze. “I’m Max, by the way. Are you Buttershy?” I asked with a gentle smile, offering my hand to her slowly so I wouldn’t scare her. She looked up, her hand trembling as she shook mine.

“I’m Fl-Fluttershy…” Fluttershy whispered just a mite louder than before. I think she was beginning to warm up to me a touch, but she still hid behind her hair.

“Your name’s Fluttershy?” I got a tiny nod. “That’s a perfect name, love. It suits you quite well, I believe.” I kissed her hand and withdrew, having kept my tone soft and reassuring.

“T-Thank you…” Her cheeks pinkened at the absence of my touch, the hand I'd kissed going to her chest as she glanced at me furtively.

“There’s no need to thank me for the truth, love. If you must, though, I’d very much appreciate some information”

“I-Information?”

“Yeah, actually. There’s a few things I need to know about town that Twilight would be too verbose about and I need to find a job so I can repay Twilight for letting me stay with her for the time being.” Fluttershy seemed to ease considerably when I finished my last sentence.

“O-Oh! That’s nice of you.”

“Eh, I’m not doing it to be nice, but the sentiment is appreciated. Can you tell me where the nearest place that sells alcohol is?”

“Oh, you want Handsome Yak’s. It’s not to far from here, down the street to the embroidery supply shop and a left from there. It’s hard to miss since it’s a little ostentatious.”

“Good news then. I’ll have to pick Twilight up a bottle of wine while I’m there. Is there any place in town that a guy good with locks and fine detail might find work at?”

“Yes, actually. There’s Sweet Apple Acres since they could use someone to help with apple inspection, the Mayor is looking for a second secretary, and if you’re really good with locks, there’s also the Lockpad on the west side of town.”

“Well, I’m not good at farm work, I hate answering to authority, and Lockpad sounds cool. I think I’ll go with that one, honestly.”

Fluttershy smiled. “Mayor Mare isn’t too tough on anyone as long as they follow the rules, but Big Macintosh can be very harsh when he does choose to talk…”

“Then luck does favor the decisive after all, doesn’t it?”

She giggled at that. “It would seem so.”

I said my goodbyes to Fluttershy and meandered in the general direction she’d given me. Sadly, the locksmith was on the other side of The Town Circle so it was going to give me far too much empty time. Time I would most likely be using to think. Eww… I decided to take a preemptive strike and think about Fluttershy since she was cute, cuddleable, and generally sweet. She was a nice enough girl whenever you could actually hear her, and she was a mutual friend of myself, Rarity, and Twilight so there was a good chance we’d talk again. Well, I didn’t want to know Rarity at all, but Fluttershy seemed like a tart with hidden depths that were well worth exploring, and I wasn’t talking about her uterus. Yeah, she was stacked, but she really just seemed like a good friend waiting to happen.

I pondered my situation for the last few minutes I had before ending up at the locksmith’s. The shop itself was rather plain but quaint. There was little room for shock seeing as how Ponyville was even smaller than Wiltshire, but I think I was expecting… more colour, I guess. A bit more paint or decor to liven the place up. As it was, The Lock Pad was easily discernible from the rest of the vivid assortment of shops that made up the Town Circle because of its drabness, so I’d never have to look too hard anyway. I stepped inside to see a drab grey counter manned by a surprisingly dainty woman. She was rather short and thin with charcoal grey hair that was a few shades darker than her coat. She was… incredibly unremarkable in any way. I approached the counter with all the class my Classy Mode could muster.

“Excuse me, Miss? I’ve heard that you have an opening? If it’s no trouble, I’d like to apply.” I tried with every ounce of my gentlemanly prowess. The woman behind the counter took one look at my disheveled clothing, messy black hair and general scruffiness and scoffed.

“You just want this job so you can learn to pick locks. I’m not a Ponyville mare,” She spat. “I know a criminal when I see one.”

“... That’s actually really hurtful.” I gave her a look. “... I’m just trying to get a job so I can pay the mare who lets me stay with her. I already know how to pick locks; I’m here to make ‘em.”

“Right.” She rolled her eyes harder than the damn planet itself turned. I felt a jolt in the world. “Buck off, loser. Why don’t you just go hop in the lake?” Wow. Wow, you are easily the biggest cunt I’ve seen in the past four days.

“... How bout I talk to your boss and don’t cuss you out.” It wasn’t a question. It wasn’t even a suggestion.

“Oh, buck. Off. We don’t want you. Nopony wants you, so why don’t you get under that lake and forget how to swim?”

… The bitch told me to kill myself. She took a long way around the bush to do it, but the context didn’t really matter to me. I pulled my dirk out, stalked toward her, and watched as she backed away. “Yeah, I’m feelin’ some blood now, init? Ya bloody cunt done an’ got me real touchy-feelsy ‘bout now, so why don't you bugger off reeeal nice-like?”

She was staring at me wide-eyed and horrified before a large pink stallion opened a door from the opposite side of room. “Mineral Zeal, what did I tell you about enraging the customers?” The big fruity-looking bastard asked. Don’t quote me on this, but I was betting that it was more of a rhetorical kind of question.

The grey mare looked between the two of us, not sure who she should be more afraid of. She settled on him (As would I) and tried to suck up to the fellow. “B-But- Daisy Carnival! You can’t possibly be taking his side over mine! I’m your first employee! He’s not even real Pony!” She sputtered out. If she was his first and only employee, then there were no questions as to why he would seek fresh blood.

“I’ve told you time and time again, to never call me by that name. My name. Is Onyx. Lock.” He replied evenly, sounding like he smoked Cubans for fun. Both Cuban people and Cuban cigars, that is. The guy ‘kinda’ scared me, even if he was bright pink… He looked like he could crush coconuts between his pinkies and thumbs without trying hard enough to brag about it. Terror in Pink looked to me, “You want a job, colt?”

“Y-Yes. Yes sir.”

He looked back to Mineral Zeal. “You’re fired. I’ll mail your severance to you. Scram.”

She looked like she’d just been slapped across her face. Zeal made some weird fish-like motions before she walked out of The Lock Pad in a daze. Daisy and I watched her go without a word. “So… Is it- Is it cool if I call you Onyx? Or Mr. Onyx?” I asked meekly. Please don’t rip my butthole apart Pink Pony Demon-man.

“Onyx will do just fine," he grunted irritablty. He might've been in a good mood for all I knew, I just didn't want to ask and risk getting hit. I would’ve imploded. "Now how much do you actually know about locks, colt?”

“... I know how to get them open and I’ve made a couple from kits.”

He shrugged and started walking back into the shop. “C’mon. I wanna know who I just hired.”

… Uh… We… We kinda spent the next couple hours talking about my shady past, oddly enough. I wasn't expecting to tell anyone about anything after I'd resolved to hide it, but what do ya know? The oddest thing about it was how comfortable I was with Onyx, even if I was terrified and felt like someone was listening somewhere in the shop. The feeling of more than one pair of ears listening in pervaded the conversation, but my new employer just shrugged it off and said that it happened from time to time when he was talking about something interesting. Onyx seemed to accept everything I said without judging me, which was greatly appreciated… It was… Well, the guy didn’t really give a damn about my history after I showed him that I could put a lock together after being shown how to do it once. His interest in me actually seemed to rise marginally when he found out that I wouldn’t be useless, but other than that he didn’t really seem to give a fourth of a fuck. Although I couldn’t help but remember what Zeal had said earlier... Did I really just want to work there so I could learn to pick more locks, or was I there so I wouldn’t have to? Onyx seemed to read my mind and started me off with some busy work on testing the product, which was probably the best way to see if they were good. He had a massive set of picks that he used to do the same job that I was doing, so I picked out fifteen that were somewhat familiar to me and got to work. It was… Well…

It was my first-ever honest-day’s work, and by that I mean I worked a full eight hours, got a lunch break, and… It felt… It was like I was a real, normal guy. I guess you could say that not having to worry about being caught or having to really appraise shite was fulfilling in its own way, but the simple act of having a real job… I have to admit that I almost cried when he told me to go home because I just wanted to work more. It was so fulfilling to get a taste of what it was like to be a truly functioning member of society and that really just rang true within me, like I’d done something I was legally permitted to do other than buying crap to get fucked up or just for survival. You’ll never understand the feeling if you haven’t made a living on the other side of the law, especially if you were content in doing what you did. There were a lot of people in my life that had normal everyday jobs, but few of them ever wanted to talk to me in depth. Even if Onyx just wanted me to work, as long as I kept myself productive, he didn’t mind a little conversation. I just wanted to keep doing what I was good at without negatively influencing anyone for a change, and I think Onyx knew that. For once in my fuckin’ adulthood, I was a productive member of society and it was even better than I’d hoped it would be. All it had taken was losing every fucking step of progress I’d ever made and starting from rock-fucking-bottom…

It wasn’t as bad as it should have been. Nowhere close.

We ended closing up shop around at nine or so and I had blown through most of the more advanced locks in the place. As a bit of payment in advance, Onyx gave me one golden bit, two silver, and three coppers, but I put them on a counter when we were walking out. They were casted coins, but they were still high quality and seemingly pure, which confused me. Why use precious metals as literal currency? I voiced my query to my new boss who just shrugged at me, not noticing that I wasn’t carrying the pouch. Still, I learned that I had more money than I fucking thought with what I’d stolen. After all the faff and kerfuffle of the morning, the day had been… It had been one of the best days I’d had in a very long time. I got to flirt with a cutie, got to threaten someone who’d pissed me off, and then stole that cheeky cunt’s job! Not only that, but I’d finally gotten to my earnest living that I’d wanted since eighteen. God, that was a good way to spend some hours, and I look forward to doing more. Just with less of the violent stuff.

I started my walk back to the Treebrary, remembering that I had two coin-purses full of ill-begotten gains. Making the ‘moral’ decision to drop one full one off at the Town Hall was my best bet as far as I was concerned. About halfway on my trip back to Twilight’s from town square, I realized that I’d forgotten about Rarity and her offer to make new clothes for me. I was getting desperate at this point: The Lock Pad was very warm and sweating was a common occurrence, so I’d have to sort that out as soon as possibly possible. By no means am I particularly anal about taking care of myself, which was probably why I had so much acne. I resolved to stop by and grab some face-wash in the morning with the rest of the bits I had, hoping that it would be magic or something. Maybe one wash with the stuff and subsequent maintenance would fix my shit like Twilight’s conditioner was doing with my hair?

When I arrived at the Treebrary, I noticed that all the lights were out. I had a bad feeling about what was going to happen, so I took Route B. After climbing the tree onto the balcony that jutted out of the side of the tree, I realized that I’d never been upstairs before. The balcony door was locke,d but I still had my own picks in my boots, making quick work of the thing. Judging by the assortment of bras and whatnot that littered the area around the laundry bin, it was safe to assume that it was Twilight’s room I’d just broken into. I snuck to the stairwell as quickly as I could when I heard assorted mutters. It worried me. Dark house full of people I don’t know? Especially with me having threatened Zeal with steel?

I had bad feelings about the whole thing and they did fucking persist as I stalked my way downstairs. Even if I’d managed to get a step forward, there was always back-sliding waiting to happen and I wasn’t fond of possibly dealing with the consequences of my actions anyway. Things weren’t looking good for me at the moment, but that’s what I get for hoping, I guess.