My back hurt like Hell when I heard the movers start bringing random furnishings into my flat. Me being paranoid from years of experience, I was on my feet with my favorite dirk in my right hand and a rather shitty throwing knife in my left. The bright green stallion holding a night stand in front of him met my black look with an indifferent shrug. He headed down the shortish hallway that lead to the guest room, loo, and the master- well, my room. I still have to get used to actually having a room after so long.

I stowed my knives back in their respective sheaths and took a deep breath. Erratic panting was coming from the aforementioned hallway, so I rushed over to see what the hell was going on. Apparently I’d scared the poor bastard, made clear by the wideness of his eyes, and the clutching of his chest. He looked at me and we waved simultaneously, neither of us really sure what to do in the situation. I, being a socially savvy Renaissance Man, spoke up first.

“Need a hand with anything?”

“Y-yeah… J-just head outside,” He took a deep breath to calm himself, “The boss will tell you what to put where, unless you want it somewhere else, I guess.”

I nodded in response and spent the rest of my morning moving shit into my place.

It was about ten in the morning when we started and close to one by the time we finished, which meant I was late for my picnic. Thankfully, I still had enough sense to shower after sweating for two hours, but it cut into my time even further, which left me rushing to to town. I jogged there, but in the summer heat, I really wasn't trying to sweat before joining a group of mostly attractive women for a bite to eat. I slowed down a bit and warred with myself over whether it was better to show up late or to show up sweaty, but I ended up picking late because I was wearing new clothes.

Sadly, Twilight and most of her friends didn’t share the sentiment. I strolled onto the green with a grin cheesier than cheddar, which fell when I saw just how much the girls disagreed with my jovial mood.

“You’re late, Max. I really thought you would have had more class, darling! Fashionably late is one thing, outright tardiness is another!” Rarity chided.

“Rares’ is right, Max, ya should be more punctual, if ya will. You’ve kept us waiting so long, Pinkie passed out from boredom!” Applejack added.

Twilight was about to put her two bits in when I held up a hand to stall her.

“Sorry, girls, I really am. I assure you, I’m a much more organized fellow, I just lost track of time, waking up to movers bringing my furniture and getting lost on the way here. As much as I-” Was as far as I got before the most obnoxious of them chimed in.

“OHMIGOSHMAXDIDYOUGETAHOUSETHAT’SSOCOOLCANISEEIWANNA-” Pinkie was thankfully silenced by some magic from Twilight and Rarity, giving me a bit of time to speak. Well, time to not want to cover my ears and smack my head against a tree.

“Oh, so you’ve gotten a new house? I remember The Princess mentioning something to that effect in passing, but I wasn’t paying that much attention, to be completely honest.” Twilight looked ashamed by that admission, probably because she didn’t give her full attention to her loving mistress, but it’s no problem of mine.

“Yup. Celestia thought that I might need some space of my own, get away from a certain someone so no more misinformation almost gets me vaporized.” I showed Twilight the most withering scowl that I could conjure up. It wasn’t terribly intense, seeing as how I was in a great mood, but still a rather impressive one if I do say so myself.

Twilight looked ashamed again, probably remembering the lecture from last night. Before anyone could comment, though, Spike chimed in with something no one had really given thought to.

“Hey Max, why do you sometimes say ‘someone’ or ‘somebody’ instead of ‘anypony’ or ‘some pony’?”

“Well, are you a Pony? If you are, you’re pretty ugly for a Pony.” I sniped. I liked Spike, but an easy opportunity is the backbone of pointed humor.

“Hey! Just because I’m not a Pony doesn’t mean you can call me ugly!”

“I didn’t call you ugly. Hell, you might be the most handsome Dragon around. I just said you’re ugly for a Pony.”

Spike started leaking smoke out of his nose, so I figured the best way to not get turned into toast would be to answer his question.

“Listen mate, I just said it to emphasize the fact that other races besides ponies are out there. We’re both good examples, and so are the Gryphons, Cats, Dogs and of course, whatever else I haven’t read up on. Frankly, ‘anypony’ is kinda racist if you think about it.”

Spike looked like he was in deep thought, but maybe my opinion was skewed due to the smoke still pouring out. I glanced toward Twilight and her gang of rainbow pals and they were mimicking Spike's look of cognitive labor. Looks like I dug myself out of a pit, there. High five for me! They seemed to brush off the matter soon enough, snapping out of their stupor. They started talking amongst themselves about the subject; however, Fluttershy didn’t appear very eager to join in. I took a seat next to Fluttershy and asked her how she felt about being a racist.

“W-well… I know Iron Will was looking at me funny whenever I said anypony around him…” Fluttershy hugged herself, almost disappearing into the folds of the oversized green blazer she was wearing.

“You know I said that to take everyone’s minds off me, right?” I whispered to her. “I doubt most of you Ponies would treat any other race differently, just a bit of nationalism in your vernacular, right?” I said a bit louder. The others turned their attention on me for a moment and sighed in relief. I didn’t know they took racism so seriously in Equestria, good lord!

The rest of the picnic was going well until Rarity had to open her fucking mouth and ruin my good day.

“So darling, what did you do before you came to Equestria? In… England, I believe you called it?” She asked with a dainty smile.‘Reflexes, don’t fail me now!’

“Actually, I was a locksmith, just like I am now,” I replied smoothly, “It’s funny how some things just don’t change.”

I saw the pitch black look I was getting from Applejack, but I was even more afraid of turning to see Pinkie with a hatchet or something. That woman is not very sane, and she scares me more than being arrested. When you’re arrested a few times, it’s not so scary, I believe. You get used to it. Rarity, Twilight and Rainbow asked a few questions about how locksmithing worked, and with my vast knowledge of picking locks, I was able to make up some pretty convincing tales. Fluttershy started to stutter out a question before Applejack interrupted. I, in turn cut off Applejack, citing that Fluttershy had been ready to ask a question. I gestured for the buttery mare to continue.

“M-Max? You shouldn’t lie to our friends…” She eventually mumbled. I was fucking thunderstruck for a second before I caught my balance, a mask of calm easily maintained over my internal panic.

“What do you mean, Flutters? I don’t believe I’ve lied about anything so far, unless I’ve missed something about serrated wafers. Never was too good with those. I’m surprised you have any knowledge on the subject, though! Full of surprises, aren’t you, love?”

Fluttershy blushed lightly while Applejack… Well, if looks could kill, I’d be on a cross with every hole filled with razors. “T-that’s not what I mean… I-I w-was talking ab-bout your past l-life, t-the one as a… W-Well…” Fluttershy took a deep breath and steeled herself. “Your life as a thief! You shouldn’t lie to us about it Max!” She shouted at a conversational volume, deafening by Fluttershy’s standards.

“Well shit. No point in trying to keep my past out of my present if you’re gonna bring it up.” I spat out. Fluttershy looked abashed and more timid than ever. Applejack and Rainbow Dash got to their feet as quickly as I did. Applejack was about to start yelling before I laid into her.

“Oh don’t you fucking start, miss ‘I keep my word’, miss ‘you have my silence’! If Fluttershy didn’t say anything, you were going to, and don’t you dare fucking deny it! You’re about as honest as I am, or you would be if I tried to ruin someone’s’ shot at a new life, away from the sins of their past!” Applejack lost some of the fire in posture, but I couldn’t care less.

“Who the buck do you think you are, talking to our friends like that!?” Rainbow yelled at me.

“I think I’m nine levels of fucking done. Why should I be friends with people who can’t even let sleeping dogs lie?” I started to march off before I heard heavy, furious steps coming from behind.

In an all too well practiced motion, I reached down with my right hand, grabbed my dirk and smashed the pommel into poor Rainbow’s chin. Her lights were out before she fell back into Pinkie’s arms. I don’t know where Pinkie came from, but it made me happy I hadn’t put my dirk away. I almost sheathed it, though. I almost turned around and apologized, begged for forgiveness. I wish that I would have, but my heart was filled with rage and the pain of betrayal. I just continued on my way to my new home.

Nothing happened on my way home, which I’m very grateful for; it was bad enough that I’d clocked one of my so-called friends, but to knock a stranger out because I felt like it? Wouldn’t work out too well for me in the end, I figured, so I resigned myself to spending my fury in my own home. At least no one knew exactly where I lived quite yet, so I’d have time to brood to my heart’s content.

I didn’t get much time to myself, to my chagrin. I’d thrown myself onto a big navy blue loveseat and calmed down enough to think rationally again when I heard a throaty bark ring out against the door to the porch that faced the woods. I had the funniest feeling that I already knew the mammal who could have timed their arrival so perfectly. Lo and behold, Lupa was waiting patiently for me to get off my angsty bum and welcome her in. When I opened the sliding glass door, however, I realized that it may have been enough time for Fluttershy to relay the afternoon’s events to her animal pals. Lupa was one of those animal pals. Lupa was very close to Fluttershy.

And I had a snarling she-wolf on my chest before the door was all the way open. I don’t know if it was her ocean blue eyes that seemed to glimmer with sentience, or the fact that canines were rather intelligent creatures in general, but I could swear that she was saying ‘You fucked with the Alpha. If you weren’t Beta, you’d be carrion’

“I shouldn’t have snapped at Fluttershy, granted, but if she already knew about my past, how could she think I’d want that following me around?” I asked. I’m going insane. That or I turned into one of those weird folks who talked to their pets.

She stopped snarling, but I knew that she wouldn’t forgive me until I spoke with Fluttershy, and I was pretty sure Fluttershy wouldn’t even think about forgiving me until I apologized to Rainbow Dash. It was going to be a long day. Lupa got off of me when I got the gist of what I had to do, and followed me when I left to go do it. I still had my knives on me, but I resolved myself to taking whatever punishment Rainbow was going to dish out. After hours of asking around, I found out that Rainbow was holed up at one of the local farms, Sweet Apple Acres. Luckily, it was only a few kilometers from town. Unluckily, Applejack lived there. Did I say it was going to be a long day?

It took me a negligible amount of time to get to Sweet Apple Acres. I walked down the dirt road leading to the farm itself when I was intercepted by a tall red stallion, who looked like he could rip me in half with few to no problems. We looked at each other and I got real scared. He lumbered towards me, hands curled into fists, ready to bring down the pain. Does it count if I use my knives to stab this guy? He looks like he hurts people, and I don’t like getting hurt.

“You’re the one who hurt Rainbow.” The Red Hulk stated.

“Came by to apologize.” I replied.

He was silent for a minute.

“Ya know if I don’t get ya, AJ will.”

“No offense, but I’d rather take my chances with Applejack.”

“....They’re in the farmhouse. You pull any funny business…” He ground his knuckles together, driving his point home.

I walked ahead of him so he could keep an eye on me the entire way to the farmhouse. I wasn’t really okay with that, but my opinion doesn’t really matter in the issue. Lupa looked on the situation with some amusement and I made a mental note to slip some chili’s in whatever I fed her. All too soon, I knocked on the rickety farmhouse door with the big red guy breathing down my neck, drilling holes into the back of my head. I really just wanted to get this over with as soon as possible, but patience is a virtue I have to muster from time to time.

Applejack answered the door. She looked at me for a few moments before she cocked her arm back and threw a rocket punch straight into my ribs.

Now, I’ve broken bones before, but I don’t believe I’ve felt them shatter before. I wobbled back and collapsed, barely able to draw breath through the Hellish blazes of pain that rampaged inside. I didn’t stand a chance at blocking or dodging the kick she threw next, breaking my left arm like a twig. Someone must have been looking out for me in heaven, or maybe had just taken pity on me, seeing as how I blacked out moments later.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Waking up in hospitals sucks bollocks. Disorientation, realization, then blinding pain once you try to move out of panic. It’s really just one of the most unpleasant scenes one can find themselves in. Of course, with my luck, I got to skip the latter two of the ‘Waking-Up-In-The-Hospital-Triumvirate’ as I was heavily sedated and could barely understand the nurse who was speaking to me. As it was, I understood that I had at least five broken ribs, a useless arm unless it could be fixed by powerful magic (It could only be healed so far by any of the unicorns at the hospital), a cracked femur, and a few missing teeth. In other words, I’d had my arse handed to me on a platinum platter covered in satin doilies. I could only wonder what would have happened if the big red chap had gone to town on me as well.

I used the week I was incapacitated in the hospital to do some serious thinking about the events of that day. In fact, I started back on my journal, catching up on previous days with my good hand, despite it not being the dominant one, and even formulated an apology for Fluttershy and Rainbow, despite the fact that both of them were in the wrong. I hoped the one for Rainbow sounded sincere enough, but I’m not terribly sure if I cared very much at that point; the twat did try to sneak me, after all. The one that was destined for Fluttershy, however, was completely genuine in its intents. I shouldn’t have blown up at her the way I did, but she shouldn’t have spread my business in such a way, especially such an important secret.

Between writing, coming up with apologies, and feeling the pain like no other, I spent my time talking to Lupa who never seemed to leave my side for long. I'd always like dogs, but could never have one due to lack of a home for the past decade or so. I looked forward to the end of my magical treatment so we could relax in my- well, our home.

Early on Sunday morning, I got a visit from the best Princess I know. I would have given her a lovely, boob filled hug, but with my left arm out of commission, I had to settle for a pleasant enough one-armed hug. Celestia gave me a sad smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes.

“You bucked up, Max.”

“I feel I was justified in my actions. Most of them, at least. Also, how did Applejack manage to do so much damage so fast?”

Celestia sighed and rubbed her temples with both hands. “To answer your question, your bones are about half as dense as the average Earth Pony's, give or take a few percentages or so. You’re quite lucky Rainbow Dash stopped her when she did, or Applejack would have a murder on her hands. We think alike, Max, but we do not act alike. I understand that you wished to keep your past of larceny in the past, and that Fluttershy disrespected that wish-”

“I’m still wondering how she even knew! And why would Rainbow of all people stop her from wrecking my face?” All thoughts of bone density were cast aside.

“Rainbow is a loyal pony. Even if you were at odds, she most likely felt guilty about attacking you from behind, but didn’t anypony tell you? Rainbow was the one who carried you here after the incident. As it was explained to me, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, and Twilight were quite understanding when the whole story was presented, though Rainbow wants a rematch. And apparently Fluttershy was in Sugarcube Corner the whole time and overheard your conversation.”

Well, at least I wouldn’t have to apologize to Rainbow, but now I owed her my gratitude… I can do gratitude, but how much do I owe someone who literally saved my life? I resolved to figure that out later.

“...I’m assuming Fluttershy heard me plead to Applejack and Pinkie to keep it quiet."

Celestia fell silent again. I could feel myself growing angry with Fluttershy at this point. Not only had she violated my privacy, but she’d known that I didn’t want my past in the present in the first place! Fuck that apology, Fluttershy had better be ready for a taste of my fury.

“ I know what you’re thinking. Nothing good could ever come from that, Max.”

“It’d make me feel better. Even if it was only for a few minutes, it’d be worth it right now.”

We both glanced to the cast that encased my left arm and dominant hand. Moving was troublesome to say the least, but I never used my left arm after the first three times I’d passed out after trying to move it. At the very least, my leg and ribs were in better shape, allowing me to be more mobile. God bless magical doctors.

“You’re not staying in Ponyville with that mindset. You have the rest of today to make a list of what you need from your home; You’re coming to Canterlot.”

“The capital? What the hell is Canterlot supposed to do? And what about Lupa? She’s more mad at Applejack than me right now, and I doubt she’d think twice about wiping Applejacks dog off of the face of the Earth if it got in her way.”

“In Canterlot, I’ll be able to keep a closer eye on you and ensure your recovery. I could probably fix your arm after a few days, if we go slowly. Lupa will be coming with you of course; We can’t have her scaring the medical staff any longer, nor eating poor Winona.”

“You just want me in Canterlot to look at my ass, don’t you? You’re such a cougar, Celestia.” I replied sarcastically. I was already resigned to going to Canterlot, and having Lupa there with me would be quite the boon. I could probably stop by Twilight’s and explain any holes in the situation if I needed to, and of course, try to find Rainbow.

Celestia rolled her eyes at my shenanigans, “Of course. You have quite the muscular bottom, and of course your butter sharp wit is a plus”

“I’ll have you know my wit is at least as sharp as cheddar!”

“Yes, yes, cheese and all that. Gather your things; we leave at seven”

It was about three, so I had plenty of time to do my errands. I took my time because I felt like it and my leg and ribs still hurt from the half-assed healing, but I was still going close to my normal gait despite the jarring pain that flared from time to time. It wasn’t as if the Treebrary was terribly far from the hospital either, so I only spent about fifteen minutes on my walk. Upon arrival at the Treebrary, I had just laid a hand on the doorknob when suddenly door! For the umpteenth time, I was on my back, but this time, I was winded and in immense pain.

So much for that leisurely stroll I was hoping for.

“Oh buck, Sorr- Max?” Came Rainbow’s tomboyish rasp.

“Pain. Arm. Dying.” I gasped out through the tears threatening to burst from my eyes.

“Oh yeah, AJ broke that pretty bad, didn’t she? I’d feel worse, but you did crack a few teeth, you buckhead.”

“Sorry,” A gasp, “Banter later.”

When I got my breath back, Rainbow escorted me inside where I sat and talked to her and Twilight, relaying the entire story to them without interruption. Pinkie and Applejack had already given them most of the story, but my half filled in some key details that were mainly insight to why I was so mad about the ordeal. Once I finished, I was hugged by Twilight and received a brofist from Rainbow, both promising to not judge me for my past life. I was… Touched, by their reactions before I was told that Onyx Lock had fired the fuck out of me for missing so much work, though the position would be open to me once I’d healed up.

I left after a few sips of tea and was followed back home by none other that Lupa and Foxy the fox, both trotting on each side of me like an honor guard of the furry variety. Nothing eventful happened on the way to my house where I gathered my miscellaneous shit. Lupa waited outside to continue her escort which made me smile. Thankfully, there was a dentist who did hospital visits, so my pearly whites were looking alright, but I couldn’t help but feel like there was a dark cloud looming over me on my way back to Celestia.

Author's Notes:

(A/N)- Sorry the chapter took so long, but I writer's block is a bitch and a half. I had the chapter basically done, but it needed some work in areas that I hopefully provided.

As always, reviews are much appreciated!

P.S- Thanks to TheScrollChaser for pointing out some plot holes; Much appreciated

Edit: Thank God I stopped using those pony emoji bullshits. Fixed some indentation issues and added a few mores words while clipping out some unimportant shit that eventually turned into plot holes. At least my shit is better now.