As much as I’d have liked to take my time getting back to Twilight’s, my naturally long strides didn’t afford me much time for my on-the-go meditation. I sighed to myself, lamenting the amount I was most likely going to end up drinking to rid myself of these pestilent thoughts. I couldn’t help but wonder if Pinkie or Applejack would betray their silence, but all I could do was trust that they would keep their word, which bothered me since I don't make a habit of passing out trust to strangers. As I was lost in thought, I’d managed to take the main roads of Ponyville back to the Treebrary.

I set a few bags down so I could open the door. I never quite got that far, seeing as how Twilight blew the door open with magic and charged straight into my chest. Luckily, her horn wasn’t a terribly sharp. Unluckily, she was short, dense and had been going faster than I’d thought a bookworm could move, so I landed flat on my back with a ridiculously heavy purple unicorn straddling me. Twilight rubbed her head and I could feel myself growing angry as she got up and charged off, not even checking if I was okay. I rose and looked off angrily in the direction she’d left in. Fucking ponies, man.

After I shifted all my new shit into the room I slept in, I decided to go on a walk. Preferably a long walk. I checked my boots to see if my knives were secure and was satisfied; they tended to get a little loose after awhile, so regular checks were a part of a routine I’d gotten out of since coming to Equestria. I decided to ignore my new clothes until I came back because it wasn't like they were going anywhere.

I walked around Ponyville instead of through this time so I could further build my mental map. Once on the exact opposite side of town, I saw a tiny cottage on the edge of that enormous forest that was the Everfree. Half of the things I’d read in that bestiary were compiled from expeditions in the Everfree. When I say ‘compiled’ I mean a fuckton of Ponies have gone in, made a small amount of progress, recorded what they saw, and got the hell out as soon as possible, so there aren’t any comprehensive or in depth studies about that damn forest. Apparently, the forest also changes over time so few of the maps in that place are accurate, and that’s not even mentioning that the Everfree has the highest concentration of Chimeras, Manticores, Cockatrices and just about any other dangerous Greek Mythological creature you could imagine. As I understood it, the Pony living there either had to be completely and irrevocably stupid, or have a pair of the biggest, shiniest titanium balls out there.

I found my next destination in that cabin, though I wasn't sure what was going to be there.

It wasn’t a terribly far walk, just a kilometer or so away. I made great time, even for me. As I approached, I noticed an abundance of small furry creatures scampering about, birds chirping cheerfully, and a few larger animals just relaxing in the shade. The atmosphere surrounded this peaceful little cottage felt like it was permeating through my skin, deep into my bones, breaking down every emotional barrier I’d managed to erect to protect myself from betrayal and the strife of being broke and desperate. I… I felt cleansed, free from every sin I’d committed in my life. Free from the memories that that bastard Chief had forced into my body, free from the guilt of letting Max and my mother down… The closest thing I think that could I could liken it to would be finding God and repenting for your crimes, but different, somehow.

Before I could even register the influx of purity that was wrecking my emotional barricades, there was a bear laying to the right me, a big black dog lying on my left side, something soft under my head (which turned out to be a fox) and a menagerie of weasels, ferrets, and the occasional wild cat covering most of my body. My eyes felt dry like I’d been crying and I was on the ground for some reason. I don’t remember lying down or crying, so I’m sure I must have blacked out because of the repressed emotions that welled up in my psyche, but none of that explains why I was surrounded by predators. I figured that lying down for awhile longer wouldn’t hurt anyone; after all, the animals were all soft and warm. I felt like I’d barely closed my eyes when I heard a certain someone’s characteristic feather soft voice.

“O-oh my!” exclaimed Fluttershy, “M-Max? Why are you sleeping on Mr. Foxy? And Bearett? And-”

“To be honest with you, Fluttershy, I have absolutely no clue. I was walking towards a cabin near here to see who lived there. Next thing I know I’m on the ground covered in animals.”

“O-oh. Are you okay? D-do you need a-any help?”

“I wouldn’t mind being able to stand. I don’t really wanna disturb them though”

“Y-you won’t. They’re all awake...”

At Fluttershy's mention of their conscious state, I heard about a dozen groans of various timbres and the animals that were on me scurried over the larger fellows that were around me. After my body was cleared of fuzz, I sat up, turned around and looked Fluttershy in the eyes. It was hard to tell her expression since half of her face was covered by her hair, but I could feel that she was concerned for some reason.

The bear lumbered away after nudging me with its head, which I returned by rubbing it’s ears. The fox and I nodded to each other. I’m pretty sure the animals around here are sentient, if not sapient, which is pretty cool. I expected the massive dog to follow, but when I stood, it just stuck to my side. Upon closer investigation, I found out that I had been sleeping next to one of the most handsome wolves I’d ever seen. I may have been a bit startled by this fact, but I reasoned that if it hadn’t eaten me while I was out cold crying like a baby, it probably wouldn’t eat me now. Still, I had to know one thing.

“So, Fluttershy, what brings you to this neck of the woods? Are you visiting too?”

“U-um… A-actually I live here… That’s my house…” She said, pointing to the cottage. I should have known; the whole place had a Fluttershy-esque vibe to it, now that I wasn’t being assaulted by repressed emotions.

“Your house?” She nodded. “I’m guessing you like animals.” Another nod. “Can I ask why you keep a bear and a wolf as company?”

Fluttershy blushed. “W-well… I found Bearett as a cub and kept him here until we could find his mother,” Fluttershy looked sad for a moment, casting a glance toward the shade where Bearett had settled, “I-I found her…” She shook her head to clear her thoughts. “Lupa found me a few years ago when I was lost in the forest, looking for Chippy the Chipmunk. I-I got attacked by a Teumessian Fox-”

“A what now?” I cut in.

“ A-a Teumessian Fox… One of Mr. Foxy’s relatives…” She clarified. She looked to me nervously before I caught the hint and gestured for her to continue. I could feel Lupa lying down against my leg.

“L-Lupa jumped in and saved me… She followed me back and she’s been with me ever since…”

I looked down to the aforementioned wolf with more than a little respect. If the animals here were, in fact, sentient, then Lupa knew the risks of fighting. I could appreciate the nobility of such an action.

“Wow, seems like you were lucky Lupa stepped in, Flutters”

Fluttershy made the most adorable sound I’ve heard. I don’t know what it’s called, but I’m calling it a squee.

“I-I know… M-Max? W-why are you h-h-hugging me?”

“Because you’re adorable. And soft, but mostly adorable.”

“O-oh.”

I didn’t really know why I was hugging her, but I’ll be damned if I wasn’t going to enjoy it. As little time as I’ve spent around her, I really liked Fluttershy.

“M-Max?”

“Yes, Fluttershy?”

“Did Twilight already t-tell you about the picnic?”

I let her go and shook my head, confused. “Last time I saw Twilight, she was running off somewhere after running me over.”

“O-oh… I’m sure she was very sorry.”

I put on my most ‘yeah, right’ face and Fluttershy looked abashed. I told her not to worry about it and chatted with her for awhile. She invited me in for tea, which was delicious, though this woman really needs some social experience; I basically ended up telling her the most pleasant stories of my past and asking her questions about some of the animals I’d seen. Lupa had followed us in and was chilling next to me when Fluttershy spoke up.

“Hey, Max…”

“Yes?”

“Have you ever had a pet?” Lupa’s ears perked up. I knew where this was going already.

“I don’t think I could take care of Lupa the way she deserves at Twilight’s, Flutters.”

Fluttershy looked surprised and Lupa’s ears fell back. They were both disappointed with my with my statement, but there wasn’t really much I could do: I’d have to ask Twilight before I even thought of bringing an animal into her home.

“W-well.. Do you think you could maybe ask Twilight if it’d be okay?” I think Fluttershy reads minds…

I promised her I would and finished up my visit. Lupa followed me to the door, but stayed inside with Fluttershy. The picnic was actually around noon tomorrow so I could go home and just relax…
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I hate it when things don’t go my way.

When I stepped into the library, I caught an eyeful of big, bouncy breasts. I looked up to see Celestia glaring down at me.

“Afternoon, Celestia. How’s it going?”

“YOU DESPOILED MY STUDENT!” I could feel my bones vibrate.

“Kinda, but not really, unless you count oral as sex.” I was used to authority pressing their power on my neck. I don’t crack easily these days.

“Oh, is that all? The way Twilight described it, it sounded like you took advantage of her in her intoxication.” Someone calms down quickly.

“Nope, she came onto me all night. You should’ve seen her try to blow me; Bit me like, three times!”

“Three? I’m not surprised, but I would think you would have stopped her after the second.”

“I was tempted, but I figured third time’s the charm. I was wrong, but at least I got her to Nirvana before she passed out.”

“So you didn’t have sex with her?”

“Nope. If she was awake, I probably would have though.”

“...Such morals are usually lost on drunken stallions and mares alike. I’ve the funniest feeling that you’re a respectable fellow.”

“I try. So what exactly did Twilight say that made me look like a rapist?”

Celestia explained that Twilight had only told her that I’d done illicit things to her while we were intoxicated, but passed out after an orgasm. She remembered waking up in bed with a funny feeling between her legs, but not something she was familiar with. Basically, If Twilight hadn’t seemed so terrified as she was talking, Celestia would have thought nothing of it. As It was, Celestia sighed heavily and shook her head.

“I’m not sure if you should continue living here, Max… Perhaps you’d like a space of your own?” Celestia questioned.

"Yes!" I blurted out as soon as she finished her sentence. Having a house of my own was my goddamn dream!

Celestia looked at me. She was wearing an amused smile before she wrote out a note and magicked it away.

“Come, Max. We will walk to the Town Hall!”

And so we did, talking about random things the entire way, ranging from foreign affairs to our favorite jokes, and more than a few thinly veiled innuendos. It was fun to be able to flirt so shamelessly without the other party getting the wrong idea, and it didn’t hurt that Celestia was attractive for a woman her height anyway. The way she let those hips sway certainly had me jotting down ‘cold shower’ on my to-do list, and the way her breasts jiggled incited more than a few jokes about two extra suns. Celestia in turn all but invited me into her bed after we’d cleared up everything that had happened between Twilight and I. She had a surprisingly open mind for a woman a few thousand years my senior, and a sense of humor to boot! Cougars weren’t really my thing, but I think I could make an exception for Miss Sun Princess if she asked.

We arrived at the Town Hall and I held the door for Celestia because I’m nice, not because I’m some fuckhead fedora. She gave me a small smile and held the door open with magic, making me feel rather foolish for trying to be polite.

“Well thanks for letting me hold the door, Sunshine. Not like I was trying to be polite or anything.” I said jokingly

“You just wanted an excuse to be behind me, you pervert.” Celestia replied with more than a little mirth. Once we were around more ponies, however, her demeanor changed from fun, flirty, and free to restrained, polite, and matronly. It was odd to see such a transition, but the job of a good ruler usually requires a good mask. Or, at least, that’s what the books I’ve read have told me.

Celestia told me to wait outside a random room she walked into, and I obliged. A few minutes passed and I was dragged into the Mayor’s office where I was formally introduced to Mayor ‘Mare’, a name I found completely ridiculous. I kept this opinion to myself, needless to say.

What I had been invited in to discuss would actually be where I’d like to live. There were plenty of nice combination homes, apartments, and small houses, which was completely shocking in a town so small. I weighed my choices and picked a house that had been constructed close to the Whitetail Woods, a pleasant little forest that was inhabited by Deer and some of Fluttershy’s other animals. We exchanged pleasantries for a while longer before Celestia yawned and excused us from the company of the mild middle-aged mare.

“So, Max.”

“Yes, Celestia?”

“You can count this as a favor; I plan on ‘cashing in’ as it were, on a favor in turn later.” She stated matter of factly.

“Of course Celestia, I didn’t expect a free house with no strings attached. Speaking of which, when can I move in?”

“You could go now, if you’d like, though I’ll have movers fill the place with some appropriate furniture come tomorrow. You may choose to stay with Twilight for the time being if you don't like the idea of sleeping on a hard floor.” She chuckled.

“...As much as I’d like to stay in the home of someone who painted me as a rapist, I think I’ll take my chances at my new flat.”

Celestia walked me home, because she apparently knew where everything was everywhere just by peeking at a map. When my house came into view, my heart skipped a beat: It was small, enough space for two, but most certainly not a palace. I saw the wide expanse of land that encompassed the surrounding area and the adequate distance from the Whitetail Woods. Needless to say, I was absolutely overjoyed. I shared my joy with Celestia through hug power!

“Never met another princess, but you are, by far, the best!” I said from the confines of her voluptuous bosom, not that I had placed myself there, of course.

“I imagine I would be, seeing as how I’m the only one you know. Now, as nice as that feels, I doubt you’d want to satisfy the desires of ol’ Granny Celestia” She said with heavy sarcasm and a roll of her eyes.

I saw a shot and I took it.

“Granny? With a body like yours, I most certainly wouldn’t, nay, couldn’t call you granny!” I said from betwixt her fluffy fun bags.

“Oh? Then what would you call me?”

“Milf.” I grinned.

Celestia looked at me for a moment before I jumped away, prepared to run if I saw any sign of aggression. I never got the chance, because she’d caught me before I’d touched the ground. Magic is overpowered, and rather unfair, but that’s coming from a fellow who was being stared down by a princess while floating helplessly in her grasp. Celestia approached me slowly to build tension, but I was expecting little more than a tongue lashing for going a bit too far, so I can’t say I was terribly nervous. I took the time to observe her shapely figure, unhindered by the modest white evening gown with golden jewelry that she adorned. Her sizable bust outclassed Fluttershy’s by a wide margin, and I knew from earlier that very day that her posterior was quite nice as well. On top of her stacked figure, she had beauty to beat the finest supermodels I’d ever seen, so I can safely say that I’d meant everything I’d said that night.

When Celestia covered the small amount of ground she’d created, I was still at boob height. She levitated me a bit higher so she could look me in the eye. Her magenta eyes met my own forest green ones.

“Lovely night isn’t it? Feels like you’re floating on the breeze~” I quipped.

“...That was awful, but cute. You’re also far too young for me, so you may do well to remember that I’m older than your great great grandmother.”

“I doubt my Gram would ever look anything like you do at your age. To me, you still look young and ready for a night on the town!” I replied with a winning smile.

“You’re lucky I need to get back to Canterlot, or I’d make you live up to your little flirts.” Celestia dropped me and teleported away. Meanwhile, I was on the ground, confused and slightly shocked. I had either just been threatened by Celestia or propositioned for future fun times. One of those terrified me. I chose to pick myself up and begin further investigation of my new home.

I unlocked the door, walked inside, and flipped the lights on. I wasn’t expecting much, seeing as how it wasn’t terribly large, but I’ll be damned if it wasn’t massive on the inside! There was a large living room that extended slightly into the kitchen with space to spare, and a deck on the side of the house I hadn’t seen. I was going to check the deck out later, after I finished looking around the inside of my new home. The rest was interesting; the master bedroom was large enough for a small party, the bathroom had a bathtub large enough for a fellow like myself to lie down in and be completely submerged, and the guest bedroom was quaint. Quite frankly, I was shocked that all of this space was mine. I didn’t even check out the master bathroom, but I figured it’d be large anyway.

Still slightly in shock, I wandered my way back to Twilight’s. I really didn’t want to go, but my things were still there and Celestia’s movers would be there in the morning, so it’d be best to stay out of their way. I was going to have a few words with Twilight about syntax and her choice of diction. When I got there, Twilight apologized vehemently for almost getting me killed or arrested, though I was too busy being pissed to listen to her.

A few hours later and I was resting peacefully in my house after giving Twilight a lecture on the error of her ways. Evidently, she would make a great sub because she sat there and took it like a cheap hooker, but with three times as much shame on her face. When I finished, she’d burst into tears and begged my forgiveness, which I gave without hesitation; her sincerity was adequate reason to not hold a grudge, so I considered it a matter of the past, as long as she promised not to folly her words in such a manner for a second time.

Spike was watching in confusion while I berated her using acidic jabs rather than outright shouting, and really had no clue as to what we were talking about. I felt awful at that point; the scene that had occurred reminded me of the days of my youth, when my mother used to yell at my father in a drunken rage and he sat there and tried to calm her down to avoid waking me up. I remember watching them go at it for hours… This happened for years, up until the night my mother finally lived up to all those threats she had made. I was seven when my mom killed my dad. I doubt she really knew what she was doing, but it doesn’t change the fact that she stole my protector from me. That… I’m pretty sure that is what caused me to become a modern thief. I had to steal to feed us, even though I hated her for what she did, I had to provide for us. Even before Maxwell came into the picture.

I reflected on my memories as I lay on the hardwood floor of my new place, thinking of worse times and better days. I hated that I tortured myself over things that I couldn't control, but there was precious little in life that one could manipulate most days. I thought of my old home and worried about my new one, though I did my best to rationalize my evil brain-thinking away.

There goes my restful night.

Author's Notes:

(A/N)- Sorry about the late update, but with a break-up, writer's block, and other bullshit, there wasn't much time or motivation to write. Also, having an editor on a 3 hour time difference makes a pretty annoying obstacle. Anyways: Here it is! Chapter 6! Reviews are appreciated, and Chapter 7 will be done before the end of the month.

Edit: I remember that breakup. Fuck that slaw ass hoe, and fuck me for being a dumbass. Age and hindsight make one wiser, however, and I don't even live in the same state anymore.

Fixed some indentation and added a few words here and there. Fixed myself a plothole while I was at it, so high five.