Hello everypony, it is your sexy Sun Goddess and do I have a surprise for you! There haven't been any uprisings lately, I haven't found any negative editorials in the papers about me and I just had a fresh cake delivered to me so I shall share with you my synopsis on "It isn't the Mane Thing About You."

It looks like Mares' Day has arrived again and most everypony down in Ponyville is rushing the flower stand at the last minute. Oh my poor flower mares, they look so stressed out! I'm actually glad to see them in distress like this because you know what that means! It means that I will be paying three of my sexiest girls a visit tonight, a four mare romp does sound quite fun after all.

Everypony is wondering what color of flowers to get and along comes little miss Rarity and she glows! She has never once glowed for me so I have decided I shall punish her severely for this. The flower girls have always wanted to get in her coat and tonight their dream shall come true.

Oh well, enough about that. She suggested they get flowers that match the recipient's mane and I'll agree, that does sound like a good idea and then she goes to help Mr. Breezy. I swear, she must be in an extra generous mood because she is giving him ideas on how to help boost sales. Maybe I won't punish her for glowing after all.

Next up she gives the pony who runs Quills and Sofas some advice, more colors for sofas! Well yeah, I'd think he would know that you increase the variety in your inventory, you'll get more ponies to come and buy your stuff. Now she finally goes to visit Pinkie who is holding an anniversary part for get his, the anniversary of the twins' first sneeze! Good grief, does she have a memory like a steel trap or something? Oh well, regardless of what it is it is a ridiculous reason to throw a party. It's not like she's throwing an anniversary party commemorating the first time I scored with Twilight, which has been several years ago now.

Oh boy, Pinkie has unleashed the power of sticky string and it is caught in everypony's mane. Oh no, this is THE WORST POSSIBLE THING! Rarity has a photo shoot with Photo Finish tomorrow for Vanity Mare's most hideous, I mean beautiful manes in Equestria. Before I go on this is where I am going to admit my anger and jealousy. Why isn't she coming up to photograph MY mane? Yes other ponies may have beautiful manes but mine, well Luna's too, but our manes are the only ones that have a natural wave to them. Oh well, enough about my jealousy, now Rarity has to go to Zecora's to get some good shampoo to get rid of that string and Pinkie needs remover potion to remove it from the walls.

Now I'm actually surprised that Pinkie was able to convince Rarity to so easily head into the forest. Perhaps I shouldn't be since her mane is in dire need of cleansing. You know, I can't see them now so I have to do my typical invisibility and teleportation spell so I can see what's happening. Yeah going through that part of the forest is unpleasant but oh well, I promised this and I'm not going to go back on my word.

Once they arrived at Zecora's cottage it was like it always was, she was mixing together her potions and speaking in rhyme. You know, I have always wondered how she manages to do that with such ease. Anyway she gets them made but a sudden movement by Rarity causes the vials to fall to the floor and oh boy, it looks like Rarity might be grabbing the remover potion. Hopefully it won't cause her any problems but we shall see.

Now we have got back to Ponyville and I'm thinking, should I go monitor Pinkie trying to clean up the sticky string or should I go monitor Rarity in the shower. I think I shall monitor Rarity and who knows, maybe I'll even be able to join her! I've always wanted to shower with her like I do Twilight because she is so hot with a wet mane but I shall resist for now. I'm getting a sixth sense telling me to just wait.

It looks like she's done and hey, at least I'll get to see her with her wet mane for a moment. Wait a minute, she has wrapped her mane in a towel and her body in her fancy robe. I can't help but wonder, what if something were to happen to her for denying me a good view of her. Oh wow, perhaps my holding back on my desire to join her was a good thing because she removed her towel and she has lost a lot of her mane and it looks like her tail suffered a lot too. I know I bitch about her mane and tail all the time but good grief, this is beyond hideous! It is so hideous that even I don't find her hot now!

Back to Zecora's she goes to let her know about this calamity. Normally when I would follow her like this I would grab her, haul her off somewhere and have some fun but not when she looks like this, I do have standards you know. Ok, so here she is blaming Zecora for her hair falling out but Zecora isn't the one to take the blame for not messing up. Hey Rares, you simply grabbed the wrong potion and now you must live with your mistake and Zecora is right, she isn't just going to be able to mix something up in nothing flat so deal with it!

Alright, back to town we go again and good grief, I know Rarity looks hideous but she is even making foals cry now. Shame on you Rarity, you could have at least kept that hood over your head. It looks like my flower mares are busy selling flowers and thanks to Rarity's advice, they'll have enough money saved up to have a good sized cake ready for me tonight. Hey, they know how I am, they know that I am much more loving and tender if I have cake before I have my florists.

And Mr. Breezy and the Sofa and Quill pony, I think Rarity called him Davenport are also doing well because of her advice but oh no, she and her ugly mane have been exposed and everypony is in shock. Now this could never be shown but in the unedited version the ponies yelled at Rarity and told her that she was ugly as hell. The flower mares who know about her started laughing about how they'll just take her slot from now on. You know, until her mane grows back, I'm going to take them up on it!

Finally Rarity decides to go hide in one of my favorite places, Twilight's castle. Yes she did whine and Twily and Starlight tried to give her some mane, there is one thing they never showed. Since Trixie was off visiting her mother, Starlight decided to join my Twily and I in a threesome and despite being completely hideous, Rarity wasn't completely useless since she got video of it. Hey, I need footage of the three of us to get off to when none of my lovelies are available. Oh wait, I'll always have those hotties from Somnambula available but hey, they can watch my videos with me and then we can relive the moment!

Ok, so now they are taking Rarity elsewhere to get a new mane. Sorry girls but I doubt a milk maid's bonnet with braided pigtails will work and a quick memo to Rainbow Crash, that cloud ain't portable and I'm surprised you got it to stick to her head. Now had it been my sexy Twily's head or that of any other pegasus or Alicorn, it would have worked. And finally she seeks Fluttershy's help and ugh, that is the worst of them all. Damn Flutters, are you trying to turn her into a spectacle you would see at a circus freak show or something?

Well after my girls failed to give Rarity a new mane, Rarity headed home to throw a pity party. I'm not sure if it is because her mane looks awful, if it is because she didn't get to join in on the threesome or maybe both, but she has gone to her old standby, gorging herself of ice cream. Ice cream is ok but seriously Rarity, you couldn't gorge yourself on something better? You couldn't gorge on cake and invite me?

Rarity's friends are right, she has done enough pouting all over her mane. Yes Rares I know losing your mane has hurt your confidence but still, you could be out doing something productive. Oh well, I have a feeling her friends will get her out and about. Now it looks like Photo Finish won't have to come take pictures because Rarity has cancelled the photo shoot. Well that is a good thing because I certainly can't have photos of one of my lovelies looking like that out in Equestria! If that happened, what if I suddenly had ugly mares coming and begging to be part of my harem? I certainly can't have that!

Well finally Rarity's friends have convinced her to quit pouting like a little bitch and suddenly she has taken on a punk look and will go aid everypony she can. I'll admit, she does look decent but not harem good. Alright, now it is time to get her out helping ponies and restoring her confidence.

While she was out helping everypony I'll admit, she did put herself to good use but I'm not overly thrilled with three little hotties. When they saw her, suddenly the flower mares acted like they wanted to get in her coat. Good grief girls, just because she gave you good sales advice and doesn't look completely hideous now you want to bang her. For that I will punish them severely and no matter how much cake they have for me, I will not be gentle!

After boosting sales for everypony she tried to help earlier the show progresses several months later and during that time, the flower girls did enjoy taking some of Rarity's spots while my girls from southern Equestria took the others but finally her mane is back to normal and the big edition of Vanity Mane is out and Rarity doesn't even care. Well I don't blame her since she isn't going to be the cover mare.

Wait a minute, she is? How the hell did she wind up getting herself on there? Yeah I know that punk look was better than what she had before but still, I wouldn't say it was beautiful. Ok, so her friends contacted Photo Finish and Twilight whored herself out to her to take pictures of Rarity like this and even worse, Fluttershy did the same just to get her as the cover pony! Now I am extremely upset with them! How dare they go bang a mare who is only semi-decent looking when there are so many other, much better looking mares out there!

I suppose I shouldn't be completely upset because they got Rarity to see that being productive is better than staying inside pouting all the time. Now if you will excuse me, now that I know that some of my lovelies put out for somepony I didn't authorize them to, they must be punished and to reward her for her generosity, I shall allow Rarity to join me in the punishment of Twilight and Fluttershy.