Hello my subordinates! It is your sexy overlord and do I have a surprise for you! You have behaved and paid your taxes for the most part so I shall give you my synopsis of "Newbie Dash."

Well another boring day in Ponyville has arrived and Scootaloo is tagging along with Rainbow Crash, i mean Dash like she always does. Scootaloo is going on and on about how the Crashie fan club will be attending the Wonderbolts show despite Rainbow only being in the reserves. Come on Scootaloo, all your hero will be doing is ushering ponies to their seats, taking tickets or licking Spitfire's ass before the show. She won't be doing anything important.

Speaking of Spitfire, her and a couple other Wonderbolts are flying overhead and Spitfire must be searching for Rainbow because she lands in front of her. At first I was thinking they better run Scootaloo off and go hide in a bush to have some fun but apparently that is not the case. What is about to happen really pisses me off. Spitfire has come to inform Rainbow that she is now officially a Wonderbolt. What the hell? I have told her on numerous occasions that she was never to allow Rainbow to become a Wonderbolt but she didn't listen and now she must be punished! How am I going to punish her? I'm thinking Tartarus for a few months but it will have to be after this episode is over.

Now Rainbow is just standing there with her jaw hanging open and Scootaloo is celebrating. You know Scootaloo, I don't get why the hell you're so happy. Yes your hero and adopted sister has fulfilled her dream but you are acting more like Twilight does when I tell her that I'll let her dominate me when we have fun. Oh well, I guess some ponies get excited over the most boring and lame things.

The news travels fast and while Rainbow is up in her house getting things ready to head off to Wonderbolts headquarters her friends come to throw her a party. Sorry ladies but Rainbow is on a tight schedule and has to get going. Thing is, I didn't even see any cake at this party so it wouldn't have interested me in the slightest. No cake, no Tia, that is the rule when it comes to parties for me.

Now Rainbow has arrived at headquarters and is acting like a schoolfilly. I can tell that Spitfire is a bit irritated by her behavior but you know how the Wonderbolts are, they don't get excited. Rainbow's going to have to lose the small town hack mentality if she is going to succeed here. To make matters worse as they head there, she is stopped in her tracks when they reach the runway. Rule number one newbie: "Always look both ways before crossing the runway."

Seriously, she didn't know that she is supposed to look both ways before crossing a glorified street. She should have been taught that by her parents but sadly that was not the case. Oh well, I have a feeling that her idiocy when it comes to crossing streets will make things more entertaining further down the road.

Once they get into the barracks both Spitfire and Rainbow are getting all excited over these boring old relics that some former Wonderbolt wore. Who cares! I'll tell you who, NOPONY! Well at least not your sexy Sun Goddess and she is the only one's who opinion matters, not a couple of lame pegasi with superiority complexes.

Now it is time for Rainbow to get dressed so she can get out to practice. Ugh, she is there posing in the mirror thinking she's so great. I could see my moron nephew doing the same thing which makes Rainbow pathetic. I remember how Rarity pulled the same shit when she had those wings Twilight gave her. Looking back on that, I still think it was a bit funny since she didn't plummet to her doom in the end. Oh well, enough about that, Dashie has her first flight as an official Wonderbolt coming up!

Here she heads out and there is the runway. Get this, even though Spitfire told her to look both ways before crossing the runway, SHE DIDN'T LISTEN! She crosses and here come a couple of the other Wonderbolts and she has to get out of the way. Unfortunately for her, in her attempt to get out of the way she speeds across and fails to see the trash can right in front of her. Now she is covered in garbage and that fancy uniform of hers is stained and smells horrible.

Oh boy, here we go, now the Wonderbolts think she is an idiot and chant "RAINBOW CRASH, RAINBOW CRASH, RAINBOW CRASH!" Yes, finally I can call her Rainbow Crash and it will be an official name. Now we have a flashback to Rainbow as a filly. Yeah she was just as narcissistic back then as she was now and in an attempt to showboat her way into flight camp she falls straight into a garbage can! What is it with her and trash cans? It is just as bad as it was for my Twily and falling off cliffs when I sent her to Ponyville so I could get Twinkleshine in bed....oh yeah, and have her make friends so they could defeat Nightmare Moon.

Poor Crashie and once the day is over she learns what happens to the worst flier of the day, they have to clean the whole compound. Now I could have simply fired a bolt of energy her way to clean it for her but I was not about to do that for her. Had it been Fluttershy, yes I would have. Oh wait, had it been Fluttershy she would likely be the narcissistic jock with a superiority complex so no there as well.

After Crashie finishes cleaning the compound she heads home late and is devastated. Well I would be devastated too if they called me names, well I would have before I banished them to the moon. Her friends have broken an entering as they are inside waiting for her and naturally Scootaloo is there going all fangirl over the day's worst flier. Of course Rainbow is in no mood for a party when she gets home so she acts all tired and shit but her friends can tell something is wrong when she doesn't want to talk.

Finally Crash fesses up and tells her friends about her journey into the trash and the nick name she was given. Now here they are feeling bad for her but Pinkie, always the one to try to see something positive, was right about how it could have been worse. She was right about how at least they didn't call her Rainbow Trash. I can't stand her but even I wouldn't go so low as to call her Trashie....well maybe if she really pissed me off I would so I'll have to keep that in mind.

Now her friends are concerned about her and of course they have to give her some bad advice. They mention how they all shine in different ways and that she should try to make a positive impression like them. Oh great, now she is probably going to start acting like a moron and cause Spitfire to ban her from her bedroom for a while. I know it wouldn't be an excessive amount of time though given the nature of their relationship.

The following day arrives and Rainbow seems all bright eyed and bushy tailed as she arrives at Wonderbolts headquarters and good grief Crash, I don't think you barging into their barracks and acting like Pinkie is going to earn you any respect. Ugh, she is acting annoying as hell and they start telling her to go fuck a trash can, well in the unedited version anyway.

Once she loses the Pinkie personality she shifts into the Applejack personality. Now Rainbow is telling the Wonderbolts things they already know. Come on Rainbow, they know that every little pegasus wants to grow up to be a Wonderbolt and they don't view it as special because they have been part of the team for quite some time and most importantly, Wonderbolts don't get excited, remember?

I can't help but wonder why she is continuing to act like her friends. Most of the Wonderbolts think she is already an idiot and unless she does something truly spectacular, she will continue to receive no respect. Ugh, now here she is trying to be a little miss bookworm. She thinks she is imitating Twilight but with those glasses she more closely resembles Moondancer. Oh well, Spitfire thinks she is an idiot and this could put a serious strain on their extra-curricular activities.

After being told she is an idiot and that they already know how wings work, she decides to play the Fluttershy role. Sorry Rainbow, but acting like a submissive little doormat will not get Spitfire to haul you to her bedroom right then and there. Now she finally decides to pull her Rarity act back in the compound and is giving Soarin' the same bedroom eyes that Rarity gives Spike when she wants him to do something for her. Give it up Crashie, you're not going to stand out for anything except being a moron acting like this and Spitfire is right, she better quit acting like this before the show.

Well the show is not too far away and Crashie has decided that she is going to do something really stupid but she has to borrow Scootaloo to do it. Get this, she takes Scootaloo and this storm cloud over to this hill with a conveniently placed ramp for a pony on a scooter. She wants Scootaloo to kick this cloud into her as she is flying by because it would make her look so awesome. While I can't tell exactly how this will turn out, I'm pretty sure that it will make Rainbow look like an idiot and cause Scootaloo to miss most of the show.

Alright, the show is about to start and Pinkie suddenly wants to go and get cotton candy. With the way Pinkie has been for as long as I can remember when it comes to Rainbow, I would think she would be glued to her seat but I guess her sweet tooth comes first. Oh well, she probably won't miss anything special anyway....oh wait, little miss showboat is flying so of course she's going to miss something.

Here we go, the show has started and everything seems to be going on normally. Crash has been able to keep up and hasn't fucked anything up, well yet anyway. The show continues and soon the grand finale will be coming. They soar over that ridge and the time has come for Scootaloo to do what Rainbow put her there to do. Now get this, the show is supposed to end with the Wonderbolts landing in front of the crowd but Rainbow remains airborne so that she can get shocked by that thundercloud.

Now for the pathetic part, that cloud is coming at Rainbow and she is getting scared! Yep, she is scared of the thing she wanted to shock her. In her attempt to get away from it she crashes into a tree, big surprise there right. Then what is even funnier is some birds chase her to where she crashes into the line with the flags on it and then is hurled into the thundercloud, which of course zaps her and she crashes, right into Pinkie's oversized cotton candy snack. What a shame, Pinkie missed the whole show and Rainbow made herself look like a moron in front of all of Ponyville.

Well congratulations Crashie, you have now pissed off your team mates. I was really hoping that Spitfire kicks her off the team for this but their conversation would be very disappointing. Ok, learning their nicknames was funny but what disappoints me is that Spitfire lets her stay on the team as long as she stops showboating. Sadly she agrees and now there will be a rainbow maned pony that I never wanted to watch in an air show. Now why am I complaining? All I have to do is not watch their airshows and I won't have to worry about it.

Night has fallen and Rainbow is cleaning up the arena and suddenly she is in a wonderful mood. Why the hell would she be in such a wonderful mood? She not only has to clean up this mess, she also is on probation AND has to clean the Wonderbolts compound for the next month, what a loser. Oh well, she is happy and her friends are happy for her.

Damn, compared to other episodes, it was rather lame because my little hotties didn't have much of a role in it and because of that, I'm not even in the mood for any fun! Oh well, I'll just go eat a whole cake by myself, that will ensure that this wasn't a total loss.