Hello everypony and welcome to season six! Your sexy Sun Goddess is a bit sad because she had to return three of her lovelies to Ponyville since they have to start whatever boring shit it is they will do very soon. Oh well, several months is better than none at all. I will say one thing though, Starlight is a lot of fun so I'm thinking I will make her join me every now and then. I do want to warn you of something though, Twilight has decided to make her wear her mane in a new, hideous style.

Morning has arrived in Ponyville and Starlight is trying to navigate her way through Twilight's castle and unfortunately I can't see what is going on so I once again do the invisibility and teleport spell. Maybe I should have returned them a week earlier so she could figure out how to get around in there but oh well, I'm sure she knows that all that fun was out of my love for her. There she is, looking in every single room until she finds Spike brushing his teeth. I'm not thrilled that Spike is wasting money on brushing his teeth but I guess it beats taking him to that dentist up here I'm so scared of since she would bill the government an outrageous sum of money just to clean his teeth.

Finally Starlight finds the library to discover that Twilight has fallen back into her old ways. She has tons and tons of papers out trying to figure out what Starlight's first friendship lesson should be. Wait a minute, all of that is just for the A's? Wow, this reminds me of how she was when she lived in that tower and would always have waste paper all over the place when we would have our "special study sessions." What is even worse is that she has an equally huge amount of paper for the B's. One thing they didn't show though was that she had a horrible pile for every letter. I feel bad for Starlight, this must be horribly overwhelming for her.

Now they have headed into the throne room and are talking about the upcoming crystalling. That is right, Cadence is nearing term, how could I have forgot that. I'm STILL pissed though because Pinkie found out she was knocked up before her Auntie Tia did. Once she gives birth and is cleared by the doctors, I think I'll have some rough fun with her. That ought to teach her that she is to tell me about things like this before she does anypony else.

Yeah we already know their customs aren't all that well known since they were gone so long but I honestly don't care. I'd just as soon go up there, meet the baby once it is born, make Cadence set up a "mandatory appointment" with me and then come home. Yeah the crystal ponies are nice and all but I would much rather just come home and take a lovely into my sleeping chambers than stay up there and chew the fat.

Ok, Twilight has officially pissed me off. She has found a potential friendship lesson for Starlight and it is in the Crystal Empire. What the hell? She wants her to reunite with Sunbust, Sunblast, Sunbutt or whatever his name is. How dare she! She should know that he is nothing more than a lowly male, not worth reuniting with. I think I am going to punish her severely for this, and I shall allow Starlight to join me. I'm thinking, perhaps I should let Starlight take and keep her cutie mark for a while or maybe I should take that Twicane and violate her with it! That would be so much fun!

Starlight is obviously nervous about this and is now talking with Spike, who she seems to trust quite a bit. Yeah he can be a little prick at times but he is a good listener and given that Starlight doesn't have an overblown ego like Twilight, I can see why he'd want to listen but enough about Spike and the fact that he does listen, well when he isn't fantasizing about Rarity, it is flashback time.

Oh, I always do love these flashbacks. Like I have said before, Starlight was such an adorable little filly! Those pigtails were so cute and that innocent little face is to die for. But ugh, that waste of space with her is disgusting. Once again we go back to when her parents abused her by making her hang out with a little rat that got a mark on his ass. Even though it's been decades, I'm thinking about casting her parents into Tartarus for making her be friends with that thing and if they didn't make her, I'll at least reprimand them one way or another for allowing her to hang out with it. I'd rather go through that stupid mirror of Twilight's and hang out with humans but that is just me.

Now Twilight is out on her balcony acting like she is waiting for me. I know she's excited but I'm not due to visit her until tomorrow. Soon though she gets a crystalling invitation. What the hell? It was bad enough that Cadence let Pinkie know she was knocked up before she did me but now she let's Twilight know she's given birth before she does me? How dare she! Now not only am I very disappointed princess but I am also a very angry aunt. Listen Cadi, your Auntie Tia is not happy now and she will punish you when the time is right! After all, aunt/niece fun can be quite fun!

Ok, my girls have boarded the train for the Crystal Empire and it looks like some of them are ready for this and have gifts. With Applejack I'm sure she is being genuine with her gift. Rainbow probably wants Cadence to persuade the Wonderbolts to promote her up from the reserves and knowing Rarity, she probably wants to get Cadence in bed with her gift. Sorry Rarity but I'm not sure if she sees you that way. I know she does Twilight, Fluttershy and definitely her Auntie Tia, but not you!

Now I'm going to be honest, I am not happy with Twilight right now. Despite Starlight not wanting to reunite with that thing that she called a friend when she was a filly, she is still going to make her do it anyway. I am thinking more and more that I should find somepony that she doesn't like and make her reunite with them. Who it is, I'm not sure. I've got it! I'll just cast her into Tartarus and she could be Tirek's cell mate! He's weak and has no magic down there so while my sexy little princess won't be in any danger, she'll still be nervous and have to talk to a creepy centaur.

Finally they arrive in the Crystal Empire and what the hell is wrong with Shining Armor? He looks like he could use a Valium right now, or should I say a dozen or so. He is tired and seems like he is about to go bat-shit crazy. Well as long as he can't steal cutie marks like Starlight or he doesn't go on a killing spree like the fan version of Pinkamena, we'll be fine. Speaking of the fan version of Pinkamena, I should pay Pinkie a visit. I could transform her, have her pay Sunburst a visit and put Starlight at ease. I'd even make Pinkamena an Alicorn Princess if she did that. I think Princess Pinkamena, the princess of torture and murder sounds quite fun...well as long as I'm not on her hit list.

Well it looks like Shining Armor is way too tired to do anything at this point so Twilight has offered to take care of the baby and cancels Starlight having to reunite with Sunburst! Yes, I can see the relief in her eyes. I'll admit, I was serious about punishing Twilight with that Twicane had she forced Starlight to do this. What? What was that Spike? So you are going to accompany Starlight to do this now? Now not only is Twilight going to pay for listening to him, Spike will be punished as well. Maybe I'll cast a spell on Rarity to where she will hate him, treat him like shit and as an added bonus, have her sew his mouth shut so he won't make dumb suggestions in the future.

Now ego time has arrived for Spike. Starlight sees his statue up there in the town square and just has to hear about why they put one of him up there. Now normally I would have wanted to smack Spike over his bloviating, but the more Starlight can stall him, the better. They didn't show this but Spike went on and on about how if it weren't for him, those crystal ponies would be enslaved to King Sombra. Actually no, they wouldn't have. Had Spike not got the crystal heart to Cadence, I would have went up there, used a stun spell on Sombra, cut him open and got that crystal heart to Cadence so he ain't all that special.

Now for a much more important part. I along with my sister are up with Cadence, Shining Armor and the baby. What makes this special is that I actually don't have to be invisible! Woo-hoo! I don't have to hide from the writers because of their disrespect for your sexy Sun Goddess. I'm going to say one thing, my Twily and her friends are going to be awfully surprised when they see this baby. Let's just say that ponies like her don't come around very often.

Well Twilight and her friends see the baby and I can read their minds. They, especially Twilight, are thinking "big deal, just another unicorn filly." The looks on their faces when she spread those wings was priceless. They never imagined that they would see a natural born Alicorn. Thing is, they've already seen two, Luna and myself. Now I know I said that there has never been an Alicorn birth in Equestria. That is correct because Luna and I were born in a completely different land. Hell we didn't come to Equestria until we had to cast three rather unsavory bitches into Tartarus after they pretty much wiped out the small eyed equines that preceded us. I know that didn't exactly fit into this episode but I decided you all needed a history lesson. Now though, back to the episode.

Holy shit this baby has powerful magic, she sneezed and blasted a hole in the ceiling. Now if she were anypony else I'm sure Cadence would have punished her one way or another but she can't punish her newborn, especially given how adorable she is. Luckily for Cadence, one of us can just use our magic to fix the problem. Given her magical abilities though, I'm thinking she is going to be a bit harder to handle than we initially prepared for.

While we have been trying to get a grasp on how to handle this baby, Spike has been bloviating about his exploits up here, which unfortunately did not include him knocking up Rarity in the royal bedroom. Now I'm not happy, Spike cuts things short and says they have to go see Sunburst. Why? Is it because Twilight threatened to make sure you never see Rarity again if you didn't put Starlight through this you little bastard? I'll give you guys a hint, the answer to that was yes. I was reading his mind and had that not been the case, he would have went out, boasted some more and Starlight could have laughed over him admitting to screwing up the Cloudsdale anthem. "Oh we're the Wonderbolts and we're super dumb, I mean super fast!" Ok, enough about that, back to the episode."

Finally Starlight knocks on Sunburst's door and that thing answers. Ugh, he looks worse than he did as a miniature rat. Those glasses, that cape and his whiny voice. Seriously Twi? You're making a big deal about Starlight reuniting with this thing. Hell I think meeting up with one of Opal's hairballs would be more entertaining, not to mention preferable for Starlight but oh no, Spike has to try to force this. Look Spike, she wants to hurry up, get this over with and get going. She knows I'm here and I think she is already longing for my loving touch and my tender kisses.

Well as it turns out their meeting was rather quick, short and meaningless. Yes, now Starlight can rest at ease and enjoy the rest of this trip but oh no, Spike just has to make her go back and talk some more. Look idiot, the rat in a wizard's cape didn't want to talk so don't force this. I'm thinking more and more that I'm going to throw you in Tartarus for this. Now if Sunburst were a mare, I wouldn't mind but Sunburst is a gelding. I can't help but laugh as you are all probably wondering why I'm calling him a gelding. You see, when he was in magic school, he was always a complete failure and couldn't do anything more than the most basic magic. I decided that because of that, he should not be reproducing so I had him neutered, without sedation! Enough about what the vet did to that thing, back to the episode.

While Spike was making Starlight's life hell, the baby is being adorable as hell. I will admit, she really seems to have taken a liking to Pinkie. I don't know what it is about her, she seems to simply mesh well with foals. Look at the Cake twins, they like her. Of course though, Pinkie's new playmate shall be taken away from her way too soon and sadly, the consequences are not going to be good.

Yeah Cadence, I know you need the baby so you can do this crystalling thing that I'm wasting my time over. What she does though is awful. Apparently the baby loves Pinkie so much that she throws a fit when Cadence takes her away from her and damn, I have never heard a baby cry so loud in my life! Shit, shit, shit! She cried so loud she broke the crystal heart. What are we going to do? I don't know how to put it back together nor does anypony else.

I do have an idea though. Since the Crystal Empire is going to freeze over and cease to exist, I shall force Shining Armor back into the guard, the baby can move in Pinkie and she along with the Cake twins will have a new playmate and Cadence can move into my sleeping chambers and I'll have a new, full time playmate! Woo-hoo! Maybe this isn't so bad after all. Yeah I know Shining won't like it but oh well, I am Equestria's overlord so anything I want, I will get!

Now if you will excuse me, I have to either aid in evacuating a city or aid in fixing an ancient relic. I do hope it is the first choice but I have a bad feeling that fate will force my hoof to do the second choice.