Hello everypony, it is your sexy Sun Goddess again and since you all have been well behaved I have decided to give you my synopsis of "Crusaders of the Lost Mark."

Well here we go again, the filly illuminati are up in their clubhouse and it appears as though Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo are finally throwing in the towel. They have tried every dumb and moronic thing that they possibly could and still no cutie marks. Good, if they're throwing in the towel I don't have to worry about them. Oh wait, Apple Bloom is telling them that they shouldn't give up. What the hell are they going to try to do, get cutie marks in killing ponies or *GASP* trying to overthrow the government? They better not or two of the element bearers will be sisterless and another will be missing the filly who adores her like one.

Just as they are getting ready to go out and make fools of themselves again Pipsqueak shows up and freaks out over his campaign he has running for the student pony president. Oh boy, here we go again. Seriously girls, campaign manager cutie marks? While it seems completely moronic and is obviously going to be doomed to failure, it beats the shit out of them trying to get cutie marks in deposing me and my sister.

They agree to help him and now there they are at the school where they need to convince the other fillies and colts to vote for Pip instead of Diamond Bitch, who has somehow won elections in the past to hold that post. What did she do to ever get elected, did she have her daddy buy her votes by either giving the ponies money to vote for his skank daughter or did he pay Cheerilee to rig the elections? Whatever it is I don't care. It's not like a slutty snob filly holding a student office affects me anyway.

Now a song starts, woo-hoo! I love songs so much, NOT! It is just another lame song about how the students should vote for Pip. Big deal, most elections are bought off anyway so of course Diamond Bitch will win this. The voting has started and here Filthy's whore ass daughter has to stop things and send a message to the students who have yet to vote. She goes on about this and that but the message is simple. It is "vote for me and I'll make sure my daddy gives you things."

What I find interesting though is that Diamond's little fillyfriend tries to tell something special to the rest of the school that would be certain to sway the election but Diamond Bitch tells her to shut up. Well it is obvious who the dominant one is in that relationship, quit fitting for Silver Slut, she is Diamond's little slut. Once they grow up Diamond will likely pimp her out on every street corner in Manehattan.

Their lame ass song is over and the results are in. Yeah I claim to not care but I have a synopsis to give here so I must spy on Ponyville. I can't believe it, Pip won! Of course the CMC look at their asses expecting cutie marks but they fail, again! I swear, if they ever get cutie marks they will be in being horribly impatient. Do I feel sorry for them after years of failure, no I do not. Have I been entertained quite a bit by their failures, hell yes I have.

Now for something funny, once Diamond verifies that she lost and learns she only got one vote, she cries to her little slut about not voting for her. I can't believe it, Silver Slut is actually standing up to her! Maybe she won't wind up being pimped out on some street corner after all, she'll just throw herself out there instead. Now Diamond Bitch is throwing a fit and runs off. I've never liked that little cunt and can't help but laugh here on my balcony over her distress.

Ok, now I am convinced the CMC are complete morons. They actually feel sorry for the bitch that has tormented them for years and want to try to help her so what do they do? They follow her and monitor her every movement. Perhaps they are looking to get cutie marks in spying. If they were to get them in that, I would gladly hire them to spy on other nations. After all, I do need to know if anypony might be planning on attacking Equestria.

Now I have always wondered if Filthy Rich was a single father because I have never seen his wife, well until today. Diamond's mother sees her and upon learning her bitchy little daughter lost the election, she belittles her and goes on a horrible rant. I am thinking I know where Diamond got her attitude from, from her mother. Does this suddenly mean that I don't hate the little whore? No it does not, it just adds her mother to my shit list.

After her mother belittling her the little bitch runs off and we have another song. What, am I hearing this right? She wants to be a better pony? I call bullshit on that because she has had years to change and never done so. Yeah, yeah, yeah so she sees all these parents out with their fillies and colts bonding with them. She may be singing about wishing she could be in that situation but I know it is a lie. She is a lying bitch, just like her skank mother.

The next day arrives and school is getting out. Of course all the fillies and colts are rushing out except for four. Diamond Bitch is sulking and the Cutie Mark Spies are following her. What is this, they are inviting her over to their clubhouse. Good grief, are these girls gluttons for punishment? I wouldn't invite a pony who has bullied me for ages to hang out, but then again any pony who bullied me wouldn't live to see the next day either so that is besides the point.

Now they have gone in the clubhouse and I can only see a tiny bit of what is going on through the window but I can't do the invisibility and teleport thing here because I wouldn't fit in the clubhouse. Oh well, I'm sure they'll be leaving soon enough and luckily for me, they do. Pip has been told to go fuck himself by the school board when he asks for money for new playground equipment. Now Diamond Bitch is back to arrogant little self and thinks that she should be reinstated as president. What a narcissistic little cunt. She needs to just accept the fact that she got her ass handed to her and move on.

Now a chase scene ensues. The CMC follow her as she races to the school and yet another song is sung. Ugh, it is just as lame as the last one. They could sing a song about how I am the sexiest, most powerful being in existence but oh no, that would make too much sense. Diamond Bitch just sings about how great she is and the filly illuminati just sing about how she could be a different pony and in the end try to direct her away from the schoolhouse. That of course fails and Diamond Bitch gets there just as the school board meeting was adjourning.

Now I know why Pip had his request denied, Spoiled Rich is the dictator, i mean president, of the school board. I'm pretty sure I know how she won that office, either voters were paid off or Filthy's money rigged the last election. Anyway, I have a feeling that what is about to happen next will be interesting. Watching bitchy foals and their bitchy parents interact in front of other ponies is always fun!

What the hell did Spoiled Bitch call all those other foals? Ok, for calling them low lives I think I shall punish her for that. No way am I allowing that pig faced bitch into my sleeping chambers so I think perhaps a few months on the moon will suffice OR better yet, I'm sure Luna would gladly banish her to the sun for a few months. She hates pretty much all the wealthy ponies in Equestria to start with so she'll be happy to banish her and likely have Pinkie throw a "Luna banished a rich bitch to the sun" party.

Now I am shocked, Diamond Bitch actually talks back to her mother? Is she perhaps starting to see how horrid her mommy is and has decided to turn over a new leaf. Now I am even more shocked, she has told her mother to stop calling the CMC blank flanks because it is hurtful and suddenly they are her FRIENDS? Since when were they friends?

You all know how I always thought Diamond's cutie mark was nothing more than a status symbol cutie mark, well today I learned what it is really about. Her special talent is getting other ponies to do what she wants them to do. Yeah right, she would never get me to do what she wants. If she tried that with me she would be cleaning toilets with her tongue for the rest of her life but her daddy must be a softy. I say this because she gives her mom a note to give to her dad requesting that he donate money for the playground equipment and he does! Wow, she actually does something positive! I never once thought she would do anything good in her miserable, pathetic life.

Now she is thanking the filly illuminati for helping her see the true nature of her cutie mark and realizes that she can do good with her talent. Now as the playground equipment arrives Diamond bursts into song about how nice it is to be a nice pony and her cutie mark glows. Maybe that is what happens when a pony discovers what their cutie mark REALLY means. Now I am watching this with a smile UNTIL my Twily brings some of the playground equipment in. How dare she, she was supposed to be getting her castle ready for my visit tonight. I think I will punish her severely for this. At least Fluttershy and Rarity are being good mares and readying themselves for tonight.

Well the playground equipment is all set up and the CMC are talking about how they have tried all sorts of shit to get their cutie marks and failed but that when they take a little time off, they help somepony else. That is true, they did help Troubleshoes see his true calling in life. Now they're being all sappy and ugh Scootaloo is the worst! She is saying that she doesn't care if she ever gets a cutie mark as long as she can be with her friends. Yeah right, she wants that ass mark that she'd behead somepony if it meant she'd get one.

Now they do their typical hoof bump in the air and suddenly I can't see things all that well. Those three are levitating and are circled in light. Could it be, could that magical moment finally be happening? Well they drop back down and guess who it is that notices what has happened, even before me. Diamond Tiara mentions what has happened.

Yes, yes, yes! They did it, they got their cutie marks! The secret society is FINALLY dead! Woo-hoo, now your sexy Sun Goddess shall reign for all eternity! Oh boy, I hear snorting and stomping coming down the stairs. Shit, I have woke Luna up and you know how she is when she is woke up from her daily slumber.

"Big sister, why art thou being so loud? Thou knows that we need our daily slumber if we are to be alert tonight!"

"Luna, come check this out. The Cutie Mark Crusaders finally got their cutie marks!"

"Seriously, they finally got them? We shall believe it when we see it."

Well my sister looked off towards Ponyville and saw that I was right and what is even better is that they are going to hold the biggest cute-ceañera in Ponyville history and there's going to be cake, and lots of it!

"Big sister, they are going to have lots of cake!"

"Really, then let's go. You know me, if there is one thing I can't get enough of it is cake!"

"Yeah, and a side of Twilight, Rarity and Fluttershy too, right?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, you don't need to expose my sexual desires to everypony. Let's go, I don't want to be late."

Well we sped off towards Ponyville and as we were arriving another sappy ass song was going on. When we arrived we decided to hide in the bushes as they sang this thing and marched down main street. Here is the funny thing, while they were out celebrating the girls' new marks Luna and I sneaked into Sugarcube Corner and devoured every single cake, fritter, brownie and cookie in there. It was quite funny when they got back and there was no food left. Sadly for them, they had no snacks when they returned. What is even funnier is that I left the place before they got back but Luna was still in there. Now they are mad at her for ruining the cute-ceañera. Oh well, they know not to do anything wrong or they will wind up on the sun.

After the episode ended Luna and I both had some dessert. Luna headed to Sweet Apple Acres for a second party and ate a ton of fritters. Where she puts all this food I'm not sure but I had a nice snack of my own. I had some yellow cake with white frosting and lavender sprinkles and of course all of them were so tasty, not to mention feisty! It is always funner when they are playful and energetic.

Now be gone with you, I have decided to take my energetic desserts with me back to Canterlot and I do not wish to be disturbed. If you want to talk with anypony else, go talk to Luna assuming she isn't stuffing her face full of fritters.