Hello everypony it is your sexy Sun Goddess again. I must warn you, I am in a very bad mood because ponies are blaming ME and my sister for everything going to hell in that shitty summit Canterlot had to host here recently. How could it have been our fault when we weren't even there when it happened? Because of this and a few negative reports from the editor of the Canterlot Chronicle, Luna has banished them to the sun and I shall force you to listen to my synopsis of "Party Pooped."

Here it is another day and it looks my sexy Twily and her friends are preparing for another event. Damn, first she had the asses' wedding, then that useless summit that I skipped most of and now she is going to throw a party for some yaks so we can be friends with them. Come on Twily, they haven't even associated with us for Faust knows how long and I see no point to this. You would be far more useful up here with ME giving me the love I need.

Ok, enough about that. I can't see in her castle so I do the typical invisibility and teleport spell and she seems to be a bit nervous. I'll tell you why, it isn't because of her fears of failing in friendship here, it is because she knows I'm going to be pissed off at her for putting these idiots ahead of me.

Well they finally arrive and the first thing I remember about the last time I dealt with them, good grief they're stupid. "Me honored?" They can't even speak proper English, perhaps that is why Luna and I told them go freeze to death in that shit hole they call Yakyakistan. Well apparently Twily had some sort of food and claimed it was Yakyakistan food. Of course their idiot leader eats it and realizes it ain't yak food.

Now here is something that really makes me wonder how these things manage to live without drowning in their own drool. They say that if something ain't perfect, yaks get mad. Well the food ain't perfect and they get mad. They start stomping and jumping around Twilight's castle until they do probably 15,000 bits of damage....and yes I plan on billing them for it. Yeah their currency is so weak it will likely bankrupt their tiny nation but I don't care. They damaged government property and one does not get away with damaging government property without repercussions!

Ok, the yaks have left and now Twilight must assess the damage. I know it may look bad but at least they didn't do any damage to the only part of that castle that has any real use, Twily's sleeping chambers! Now it looks like some of Twily's friends have decided to try and convince these losers that they can transport them back to Yakyakistan. Seriously AJ, hay beds like they're used to? Those may be hay beds but they aren't made with yak hay so guess what, they get all pissy and decide to smash the place.

Ugh these things are stupid. Had I not heard that yak meat is nasty I probably would have reversed the invisibility spell, killed them and ate them. Forget that though, there is a cake waiting for me at Sugarcube Corner so I will go and eat it. Don't worry though, I'll keep going with this synopsis though.

Next up is the sexiest pegasus to have ever existed, Fluttershy. She thinks that by putting horned helmets on her animals that they will be Yakyakistan animals? Nice try you ditz but once the secret is revealed that they aren't yakyakistani animals, the morons nearly kill them! Luckily she was able to save them but a certain yellow pegasus will not be so lucky for endangering the lives of other citizens of Equestria. You hear that Flutters? Your master will pay you a very sexy yet painful visit tonight!

Now Rarity is trying to convince these hacks that she can make something more like what they're used to. She failed as well. Get this though, these dumb fucks tried eating the fabric. I swear, I honestly don't think befriending such stupid creatures is even worth wasting time over. Twilight needs to send them packing, grab Fluttershy and Rarity and get their asses up to Canterlot at once. That way I could get home too and "punish" them for wasting time entertaining a truly inferior species.

Good grief, now Crashie is going to try to please them. Look, you are a weather pony, you should know that Equestrian snow is not like the snow up in their Faust-Forsaken country so naturally she fucks up royally. Get this, in the unedited version Prince Rutheford yelled, "This no fucking yak snow, yaks crush pegasus!"

Luckily for her she was able to fly out of the way before they started stomping on the snow. You know something, I am seriously considering reversing that invisibility spell and putting those yaks in their place. For one, I think they have severe mental challenges given that they would flunk a kindergarten English test and behave in a manner that even hillbillies out in the middle of nowhere would be disgusted by.

Now it is meeting time and my Twily and her friends are having a meeting and Pinkie is right, things are going horrible! Well what do you expect when you're dealing with idiots that make Snips and Snails look like geniuses? Now Pinkie has come up with what she thinks is the perfect idea, actually go up to Yakyakistan, get something and bring it back to make these idiots feel at home.

Alright, this is one thing I notice constantly throughout the show. It seems like ponies can travel all over the country in nothing flat. Here it is, just a few hours before the party and she thinks she can get up there, grab something and get back in time. Memo to writers, Equestria is not the size of a small city in Lyra's comic books. The way they make it seem with the timing is that Yakyakistan is nothing more than a thirty minute journey. Hell I read a ton of fan fictions that make the distances seem far more realistic!

Back to Pinkie's trip, well she hops on the train and yeah it looks normal, lush green country, mountains in the area but suddenly she is in Dodge Junction. Ok, once again an epic fuck up on the part of the writers! You don't have that kind of territory between Ponyville and Dodge Junction. Ok, I know that besides me, only the most anal fans notice this but hey, at least they pay attention.

Now they have to stop because a bunch of damn sheep are sitting on the tracks, a bunch of damn sheep. Here is what your sexy Sun Goddess would do, put a cow catcher on the front of the train and it would just push the damn things out of the way, well at first. Once it was going fast enough it would kill them but oh well, it's not like sheep are an endangered species or anything.

Well since Pinkie is stuck in Dodge Junction because of the sheep she runs into Cheery Jubilee and she's going to somehow get her to the Crystal Empire in thirty minutes or so. You know, I would use my goddess tier magic to simply teleport Pinkie to Yakyakistan but that isn't how things work. Once they get going it isn't long until they wind up falling off into a ravine. Well shit, if Pinkie dies I'll have to find some other overly joyous earth pony to take her place. Oh well, the elements are back in the tree and Tirek is back in Tartarus so I don't think it will really matter.

Great, just great. Now instead of showing us what happened, I am now having to endure some shitty music Spike is playing for these yaks who are suddenly crying like babies. What a bunch of losers. I for one find the music hideous but perhaps it is some sort of song about death back in their Faust-forsaken homeland. Soon though those tears will turn into screams of rage as we learn that Spike wasn't playing the piano, it was on a player piano.

Ugh, these yaks are idiots. Because of that they decide to smash the piano and are now going to go home. Good, I don't care for them to start with. Wait a minute, what was that? These idiots are going home, bringing back more yaks and declaring war on Equestria. Now I know for sure that they are by far the dumbest creatures on the face of the planet. Do they not know that with one single bolt of energy from my horn that I could kill a thousand of them? Well I guess once they bring more of their kind back here I'll get to show off my killing skills.

Now as you know I have been keeping an eye on things and Twilight was supposed to entertain these idiots and prevent them from doing dumb shit like this before I decided to make my presence known but because of this, she must be punished! I'm wondering, shall I do it with my horn, should I hoof her extra hard or shall I use the TwiCane? I'm not sure but the mischievous side of me is leaning towards the TwiCane. It is always so much fun to see something with her image going up in her!

Pinkie somehow arrives in the Crystal Empire and Cadence is leading her to the northern boundary, which is outside of that protective dome. Now even I have learned something new as I thought anything outside of it wasn't part of the Empire. Hmmm....perhaps if I want to have fun with Cadence without taking her out of the country I know where to take her now. Yeah it might be a bit uncomfortable for her but it will be so much fun for me!

"Ugh, I'm getting so bored with this one, this episode was so awful, why won't StormLuna just let me go grab a lovely and take her to my sleeping chambers and end this early? Hell, I'd even be happy taking Rainbow to my chambers if it meant I could get out of this and you know I don't find her the slightest bit attractive! Please StormLuna, have mercy on me, please!"

"Sorry Tia, but you have to do this. I have readers who want your view on the whole thing!"

"You're so cruel, you know that?"

"I know. Tell you what, I'll make sure you get extra cake in a different synopsis or maybe in a different story."

"Fine, you win."

Well I guess I better get back to doing this even though I'd rather be doing ALMOST anything else right now. Alright, so on her way to Yakyakistan she runs into a yeti and then a cute little baby yak. Tell you what, if the yaks declare war and I decide to not only wipe their army out but their whole country, I'll spare that one. He is adorable. I can raise him to be part of the royal guard, after all, a yak guard who is loyal to me would kick ass!

Oh no, Pinkie jumped on the baby's sled but then she started falling backwards while that little fella got in. Well so much for her making these idiots happy. Who knows, that sled thing might cause her to go crashing into the ocean. Wait, what is this? A deleted scene! Now I am very unhappy with Cadence. She caught Pinkie, hauled her up to her sleeping chambers and had fun with her! Does she not know that I must approve of anypony she takes up to her chambers? Guess what Cadi, you now have a very angry aunt and trust me, your Auntie Tia will punish you severely! Well after her moment of fun, Cadence launched that sled back on it's way and Pinkie is returning home.

While Pinkie is somehow going through basically every place in Equestria to get home her friends have broken an entering! For that I have decided that Twilight, Fluttershy and Rarity are going to be punished severely tonight. Also, since the Crystal Empire is apparently just a few minutes away, I'll use the writer's distance and go grab Cadence and punish her for banging Pinkie.

Now regarding this breaking an entering, they have discovered that Pinkie has a secret party planning cave. I'll admit, now that is cool but does she have a file for me? If she did it would read,

"Celestia likes yellow cake, lavender icing and white sprinkles....as long as they are playful and feisty! But she is afraid of apple fritters because her sister would fight her to the death over one!"

Well Pinkie is back and has discovered her friends broke into her party cave and has notified her friends that thanks to the sheep, the yaks never got out of town so in the end they had their party. Now thankfully I don't have to hide from the writers and I see that Pinkie did the right thing, she made the yaks feel at home here in our vastly superior country rather than trying to make our country feel like that dump.

Now Twilight knows what I heard when Prince Rutheford said "no declare war." Twilight gave me a nervous look when he said this and I could tell what was running through her mind. She knew that I was going to punish her and was so scared I was going to use the TwiCane on her.

After that boring party was over I took Twilight home with me and I DID use the TwiCane on her! Like I said I could have killed a thousand of them quicker than Crashie could clear the sky but still, it is the principle of the matter.

"All I have to say is thank Faust this one is over. I can't believe StormLuna would force me to give a synopsis of this while he probably had my sister either sleeping or feasting on fritters."

"Celestia, I let you get out of most of 'Princess Spike,' isn't that enough for you?"

"No, just make Twilight, Luna or Cadence do the awful ones from now on!"

"No Tia, I won't. The name of this story is 'Celestia's Views' after all."

"Fine, but I demand lots and lots of cake."

"Alright, and tell you what, I'll throw a side of Twily in with it."

"Ok, you win."