Rainbow Rocks

Hello everypony, it is your ruthless yet beloved dictator Celestia. I'm going to start out by saying that I am in an extremely bad mood, the type of mood that even makes flashbacks to when ponies were fillies seem horrible. Because of all the negative editorials, failure to pay taxes, a couple of uprisings and one of my lovelies being very disobedient, I have decided to force you to listen to my synopsis of "Rainbow Rocks."

Let me start out by saying that for this I have to monitor things in a very unconventional way. You see, a long time ago Starswirl had this crystal ball thing known as a Palantir. From what I understand he used it to spy on evil creatures he banished to primitive worlds and fortunately, I can use this to monitor what is going on so I can do this.

Well this dumb thing starts out in some cafe. I wonder what the hell could be so special about this. What if they were holding a public execution there? While that is what I was hoping for, the most we would get are three girls in less than stellar moods, well one of them doesn't seem that bad. You know, I wonder what that cute one with the ponytail would look like as a pony in Equestria? You know, if I had a way to get there, I'd grab her, drag her back here and I'm betting that she would definitely meet my requirements to be a lovely! The other two, not so much....especially the bitchy one with the pigtails.

Now wait a minute, what is that bright light off in the distance. What the fuck? How the hell is Equestrian magic leaking over into that Faust-forsaken place. More importantly, why is it? Well this is something your sexy Sun Goddess is going to find out and I will put a stop to it. I certainly hope my sexy Twily isn't responsible for it somehow but we shall see.

Well a bit of time passes and it looks like the students at that school for lame humans is going to be having some sort of battle of the bands. BORING! That is something that I would never be even the slightest bit interested in but it appears as though the magicless hack version of me is. Speaking of this "Principal Celestia," I wonder if she still remembers me paying her a visit and threatening to banish her to the moon? Oh well, that ain't important right now. I have some dumb rehearsals to monitor and tell you how they went.

Alright, once again something is wrong in this world. When the Lame 5 play their music they are still getting wings and pony ears. I am not thrilled that such magic is existing in a place that shouldn't have it. Oh well, as long as it doesn't have any negative influences on our world, I suppose I shouldn't care.

Well there is one thing that is familiar and just like it is here....Crashie is the leader of their little group and is boasting about how she is the best, everywhere. Whatever bitch, you can't fly over there and caterwauling worse than everypony, I mean everyone else won't.....wait a minute, someone is interrupting. Ugh, the very sight of that boy makes me want to vomit. It is the human version of that guard I executed, Flash Sentry. I'm wondering, perhaps next time that dumb mirror opens if maybe I should go through, grab Brad, bring him back here and execute Flash again in the same courtyard? Ponies love it when I put undesirables to death and I know they'd love to see him burn, again!

Ok, enough about burning Brad in the town square so let's move on shall we? I've been way more in-depth on this than I should be but let's just move on to the next important movement. Well it looks like Loser High, I mean Canterlot High, is getting more students, yay! These girls, Adagio, Aria and Sonata seem kind of odd....wait a minute, there's the one I want to drag over here and make one of my lovelies! I've got to figure out how to do this soon, I don't want to have to wait for that dumb mirror to open up again.

Speaking of these girls, guess who welcomes them? Little miss she-demon. I still have an ax to grind with that bitch for how she simply dropped out of my school and ran through that mirror like a damn coward. I have a great idea, I'll go through the mirror next time it opens and abduct both Sunset and Sonata. Sonata will become a lovely and Sunset will die by fire with Brad! What do ponies like even more than me putting an undesirable to death?, putting two undesirables to death.

Ugh, I wish I could just really skip ahead with this....I would love to just reveal the ending, go take a lovely along with a few slices of cake to my sleeping chambers and have some fun but oh no, someauthor just won't let me!

"Princess Celestia, you can take a lovely up to your room after you do this!"

"StormLuna, can't I just alter things a little? Couldn't I just say some foreign country nuked Canterlot and that was the end of it?"

"NO, you can not say they got nuked! Trust me, I would have loved if that would have happened but you just can't alter this so you can go take a lovely up to your sleeping chambers!"

"Why not?"

"Because the readers are expecting you to do this! Now if you want me to cut off your cake and lovelies, you can go ahead and quit on this early."

"Cut off my lovelies and cake? No, please don't do that!"

"Well then, are you going to finish this synopsis."

*sighs* "Yes, I will finish it but I demand lots of extra lovelies and tons of cake!"

"I'll see what I can do, now get back to work."

Well that was all for naught, well I tried. Ok, where was I? Oh yes, these new girls were welcomed by Sunset and have now decided to go sing in the cafeteria. Big deal, I don't think they're that great but what the hell is up with that green smoke? Maybe it is flammable and it will blow the school up! I should just say that happened and finish this up early.

"Princess Celestia, do you want me to take your cake and lovelies away?"

*sighs* "Sorry, I'll get back to this."

I swear, he is so harsh, he won't just let me lie about something nopony liked! Well something didn't seem right about those girls and the green smoke so now Sunset is going to write about it in her journal? How boring, what the hell does she think it will do? Does she think it will autodial her congressman, have him come, round up these weird girls and put them in prison or something? That would be even worse than Twilight casting a come to life spell on her Smarty Pants doll so she could fix its friendship problem.

Wait a fucking minute, something ain't right. "Dear Twilight...yadah-yadah-yadah?" Now why the hell would she be saying Dear Twilight? Is that her journal's name or is something more sinister at work here? I have a bad feeling that something more sinister is at work here.

Wait a minute, the scene has shifted to Equestria? Does this mean that Meghan McCarthy realized everypony hates humans and decided to finish this off? Even better, I can do an invisibility and teleport into Twilight's castle so that is what I did! I'm thinking I might run the non-lovelies off and drag my lovelies up to Twilight's sleeping chambers and have some fun! I'm so needy right now I may just do that.

Ok, into Twilight's castle. What the fuck is going on with that book that is not only glowing, but vibrating. What sort of dark magic is this? Well before we learn what the dark magic is we learn that Sunset has written to tell Twilight that something doesn't seem right about those new girls. So fucking what, it doesn't affect our lives here in Equestria so why should we even care?

Well it is history lesson time! That book that depicted my sister and I so long ago and Scorpan and Tirek has a lesson about sirens in it too, sirens that Starswirl banished a long time ago so perhaps me bringing that Sonata girl back here wouldn't be such a wise idea after all.

What was that Twilight, you think they need you over there? Hell no they don't, your master needs you up in her sleeping chambers ASAP. Guess what, I reversed the invisibility spell, shocked them all, convinced Twilight to not care about the human world and she came up with me! We had a very fun time and this is proof that yours Truly has more power than Meghan McCarthy!

"Princess Celestia, what did I say about you and altering the ending?"

"But I don't want to keep doing this! Besides, my ending is so much better! Twilight doesn't go to the human world and she makes me happy!"

"Yes, I agree your ending is much better and had I wrote that damn movie that is what I would have had happen but I didn't! You have to tell the fans what really happened."

*sighs* "Fine. Just know I'm only doing this so you won't take my lovelies and my cake away from me."

"As long as you do it, that is all that matters."

"Fine, I'll do this."

Well I tried, again. Ok, now I am not very happy that Twilight cares so much about the problems in the human world but I'm more pissed that she has a way to communicate with the she demon. Now something even worse is going on involving Twilight and that dumb mirror.

Get this, she has somehow rigged that damn thing to where she can open it whenever she wants and she is going to go there and help her so called "friends" with this siren problem. Fine, let her go. When she gets back let's just say that when she gets back she is going to have a little date with the Twicane....make that an excruciatingly painful date with the Twicane. Does she not know that such devices are to be handled carefully? Does she not know the dangers of just opening things like that can cause serious damage. Well when she gets back not only am I going to violate her with the Twicane, but that mirror has to go.

All I can do is stand there in disgust as she turns that thing on and goes through. Now I had plans on having fun in Twilight's sleeping chambers today and even though she decided to be an idiot and go through that mirror, I'm still going to have fun there. Let's just say I shocked her REAL friends by reversing the invisibility spell. I kicked four of them out and then hauled Fluttershy up to Twilight's chambers. Well we had our fun and after that I began to have different thoughts run through my mind.

I began to wonder if Twilight is mentally stable enough to be a princess. Seriously, who the hell goes through some dumb mirror to help a world that has absolutely no use to us here in Equestria. Maybe I should just destroy the mirror while she is a dumb fuck human. Let's see, who could I replace her with? There is Twinkleshine who meets my bedroom standards, there is Lemon Hearts who has a level head on her shoulders and then there is Colgate, who would become a ruthless dictator and force everypony to have perfect teeth or die. I'm thinking I'll go with Lemon Hearts. Yeah she may not be as good in bed but she'd be competent. What do you think everypony, how does Princess Lemon Hearts sound?

Well sadly I can't put that plan in action so all I can do is hope Twilight doesn't get killed in the human world OR interact with Brad. If she does, that Twicane will have tons and tons of fun! Ugh, let's get back to this so StormLuna won't take my lovelies and my cake away from me, alright?

Well Twilight has returned to the human world and to her fake friends so they decide to treat her to lunch and that Applejack just has to bring up a "certain blue haired guitar player" around Twilight. What is worse is that she has a dingbat moment and seems excited that Flash Sentry asked about her. Alright, I'm going to warm up the Twicane because it will be used....and I'm thinking I might see if Luna would be interested in joining me in punishing her when she gets back. Yeah Luna is straight laced and you think she'll say no but if I bribe her with fritters, she'll do it!

Well that is bad enough but guess who she crashes into, hugs and blushes at! That's right, Flash Sentry and now I am enraged.

"LITTLE SISTER, GET DOWN HERE, NOW!"

"What is wrong big sister, thou seems most angry."

"I am! Take a look at this."

Now Luna didn't even know I had this Palantir but when I showed it to her and she was not very pleased. She could see the fury in my eyes.

"So big sister, we are taking it that thou wishes to punish Twilight upon her return?"

"Yes little sister. I have different plans but I do know one thing, that Twicane is going to have fun."

*gasps* "Seriously big sister, thou art going to violate her with the Twicane over this?"

"Yes, little sister, I am AND I want you to help me. She must be punished for this!"

"But sister, she was thy personal protege! Thou groomed her to be a princess!"

"Do you want some extra fritters?"

"Yes big sister, we do."

"Alright then, you will aid me in punishing her and aid me in creating a very special day for a certain yellow student of mine."

*gasps* "Big sister, art thou going to strip Twilight of her crown and make Lemon Hearts a princess?"

"Yes, I plan on it. I know she has a level head on her head and will not put the affairs of a lesser world full of lesser creatures ahead of Equestria and its citizens."

"We do agree, what Twilight hast done is a serious crime! We are most tired though, thou keep watching her while we get some sleep."

"Don't worry little sister, I will."

I told you I would get Luna on board with punishing Twilight. Well back to this thing and now it looks like they are starting to argue over who the best band is at their pathetic little high school and of course everyone thinks theirs is the best. Naturally all their fighting is giving the sirens, The Dazzlings, more power and I can't help but sit here and laugh. Despite Twilight being in that world, I don't care if they destroy it. Pretty soon Lemon Hearts will be our newest princess and there are plenty of other lovelies out there so losing Twilight won't be as much of a problem for me as some of you may think.

Well now it looks like the Lame 5 has found a new band member, my little Twily. While I can't stand Sunset, I do feel a little bad for her that they are leaving her out, especially given that she actually lives there and doesn't only show up when she decides to betray Equestria and piss me off. Who knows, maybe them leaving Sunset out will be a good thing.

Now for this plan they are cooking up to try and defeat the sirens, they want to use some sort of counter-spell song. Of course only Twilight or Sunset actually know how to do this since they understand the magic of Equestria. Well we shall see if this little plan of theirs will work or if it will fail. I secretly hope it fails so I can go tell Twilight's parents that their daughter is an idiot who failed in trying to liberate a lesser world from three teenage girls. Then to spite them I might force them to go to Lemon Hearts' coronation.

Now this should be fun, Twilight and her fake friends have decided to do a sleep over! I'm hoping that they'll engage in some fun activities, such as munchy-munchy times or maybe violating each other with bats or something. What a shame one of those other girls doesn't have something that resembles the Twicane! That would be so much fun to see!

Well midnight has arrived and my moronic little princess can't sleep and guess who else can't, Sunset! Oooh, maybe sexy times are about to ensue! Now what happens next certainly couldn't be shown because it would wind up making this an R rated movie, or maybe even X. Guess what, I decided to make that happen. I teleported to Twilight's castle, went through that mirror, ran from the school to where they were having that sleepover and decided that fun times were needed. Now I didn't tell Twilight anything about my plans for her if she returns but Sunset sure was shocked to see the REAL me!

The first thing I did was imprison those two in the spare bedroom. After that, I decided to punish Sunset for refusing to put out after a while and run through that stupid mirror and I decided to punish Twilight for rigging that mirror to open whenever she wanted. I'll wait to punish her over Flash Sentry until she gets home. Now how did I punish Sunset? I took a little something with me to that world. If you guessed the Twicane, you are right!

I tell you, it felt so good hearing her screaming in agonizing pain as I rammed that thing in and out of her with as much force as I figured was necessary. I screamed, "This is what you get for running away you little bitch! Had you just let your overlord bang you when she wanted maybe YOU would be a princess!"

The look on her face was a combination of severe pain and extreme sadness. I finally got that little bitch to realize that she could have never had to put up with all this but it was too late now. Regarding Twilight, just for shits and giggles I FORCED Sunset to take it to her. Yeah she didn't like it but oh well!

Well the night would be over soon so I left that house, headed back to the school and then came home. What would happen next would be EPIC. Once I got home I destroyed the mirror and then watched through my Palantir in joy as a a ballistic missile struck Canterlot High and killed them! It killed them all so I decided to have a cake and my sister decided to have some fritters to celebrate the death of a bunch of undesirables along with a princess who betrayed her home......

"Princess Celestia! What did I tell you about altering the ending?"

"But StormLuna, that ending is so much more fun! I know you don't like Equestria Girls much either so I thought you would let me do this!"

"No Celestia, the readers want to hear what really happened. They don't want to hear what you and I wish would have happened."

*sighs* "Whatever, I still think they would find my ending better."

"Some may and some may not. Remember, if you don't do this my way, no lovelies and no cake from now on!"

"Can I leave the part about what couldn't be seen? Can I leave the part about me going there, punishing Sunset and Sunset violating Twilight with the Twicane?"

"Sure, why not. The people who watched the movie never knew you did that. Now get back to work."

Well unfortunately StormLuna won't let me make this better so I guess I better get back to the boring and lame Meghan McCarthy version of this. The next day they all show up at Sweet Apple Acres to do a rehearsal for their song. Now they did ask why Twilight and Sunset were walking with a grimace on their face but they knew better than to say, "Princess Celestia came from Equestria and violated us with the Twicane." Too bad they didn't, that would have really made things interesting!

Ok, they do their rehearsal and of course Rainbow Crash is acting like she is all that and a sack of shit and something just doesn't seem right. I don't know if they are simply mad over what song they're going to sing, Rainbow's narcissism or the fact that the Twicane may have diminished the magic that Twilight had. Well I can't speculate because this damn thing continues to go on and on. If StormLuna would just let me make my own ending, this could be shorter. I could finish it, grab some cake and a lovely and head up to my sleeping chambers before I crowned Lemon Hearts as the new princess.

Now the time has come for the first round of their lame music competition and I swear, some of that music is horrible! I think I would rather listen to the royal guard fart all day than listen to that shit that Snips and Snails "sang." Ugh, I know some humans have bad taste in music but this is proof that many of them are even lower on the evolutionary scale than undesirables! Luckily the Snips and Snails here in Equestria just stick to lame magic shows.

After a couple other lousy acts it looks like the Lame 5 + Twilight "The Traitor" Sparkle are going to perform. Get this, they are going to sing "Shake Your Ass, 'For Principal Celestia!'" What the hell kind of song is that? Ok, I get it, the Tia in that world is a pedophile and watches the asses of teenage girls. Perhaps I need to go visit her, drag her here to Equestria and burn her alive. That is the punishment for pedos and even though I hate that world, ridding it of a pedophile would make me a hero, EVERYWHERE!

Alright, they sing their song and all sorts of weird shit starts happening and it is obvious that someone is behind it. Is it The Dazzlings? Is it Brad the Bi-Boy and the Undesirables or is it Trixie and the Skanks? My guess is that it is Brad.

Now for some funny things going on, I don't remember quite when it was but Flash actually showed he had a brain and treated Twilight like shit! Yes, yes, yes! Maybe now she will see him for what he is, an idiot who doesn't care for her and would rather be screwing Bulk Biceps than talking to her. Now maybe Twilight will bail on this, come home and maybe rather than further punishing her, I will make her feel all better. Key word, maybe!

Ugh this is so boring, more performances go on but at least The Dazzlings had a good performance, it was so good that it had the lame versions of me and my sister thinking they were the best thing in the world. Now I know for sure that no matter how hot I think she would be in this world, I can not abduct Sonata and bring her here. She could actually be the downfall of Equestria and if Aria somehow came with her, she'd have us all in chains and be telling us that we are the worst.

Finally after way too many boring acts the lame me decides that it will be The Dazzlings going up against The Lame Five Plus Twily. Now I have some special plans coming up for this. It will involve me and a certain serial killer paying that world a visit but I'm not going to go into too much detail. Now naturally Trixie and the Skanks are not thrilled over this but hey, the Trixie there is a schemer just like the one in this world and I'm sure she'll make sure she advances instead.

Guess what, I was right! Somehow there was a very conveniently located trap door on that stage and Trixie managed to open it and cause The Rainblows to fall under the stage. Now it is set, Trixie and the Skanks vs. The Dazzlings. Now I'm predicting they'll both lose due to an act of a Goddess and I'm certain you'll all love it!

Now for something funny, The Rainblows have started to fight under the stage. How cute, maybe after they're done they'll hall have an orgy of makeup sex, something that certainly couldn't be shown and all this hate is only feeding The Dazzlings even more. Yeah it may help them win but like I said, divine intervention will prevent that.

Wait a minute, how the hell did those girls get out from under the stage? Oh, I see, DJ-PON3 freed them and now here they think they can use her music machine to play their dumb song to free the crowd from The Dazzlings' spell. Now the time for action has come.

Ok, StormLuna is distracted by the pregame ceremony for the World Series Champion Chicago Cubs so now I can do things my way and get away with it! Here in Equestria I decided to pay Sugarcube Corner a visit. Of course I was greeted by Pinkie who I knew would object to my plans so here is what I did. I used a powerful spell to transform her into not only an Alicorn, but the FAN VERSION of Pinkamena. Once I told her of my plans she gladly joined me. Before we went through, I cast another spell on us, something that will protect us after we went through that stupid mirror.

Well we went through and as we emerged, we were STILL ponies! Yes, we still had our magic! Now of course we could hear the music from that contest given we were on school grounds but one thing that movie never showed. There is a military base in that town as well so that gave Pinkamena and I an idea. We teleported over there, we each stole an attack helicopter and headed towards the competition, ready to unleash that divine intervention.

And it looks like we arrived just in time. Not only had The Lame Five + Twily started to play, but the sirens had taken their true form and were ready to smite their enemies and that appears to be just what they did. Now Sunset has finally decided to do something productive and begins to sing, prompting The Dazzlings to add more power to their song.

All while the battle between these two groups was going on no one bothered to notice that two attack helicopters were moving in. As it looked like The Rainblows may win it, Pinkamena and I opened fire. We began to mow those undesirables down and I mean all of them! The panic in their faces was epic as they continued to go down and what was most satisfying is when Pinkamena destroyed DJ-PON3's music machine, The Rainblows, Sunset and Traitor Twily.

Once they all looked dead we landed our helicopters and surveyed the damage and how sweet it was! We destroyed everything! We leveled that school, we destroyed the stage and we had claimed every single life, except one. Principal Celestia was laying there and was horrified when she saw two talking Alicorns heading her way. She must have remembered me because she said, "You? It's you, the one who wanted to banish me to the moon!"

I smacked her and laughed, "Damn straight it is bitch! Your world has caused me enough problems and now you must be punished."

Pinkamena saw the trophy lying on the ground and levitated it to herself. I nodded to her and we began to sing,

"Equestria, the land I love
A land of harmony
Our flag does wave from high above
For ponykind to see

Equestria, a land of friends
Where ponykind do roam
They say true friendship never ends
Equestria, my home"

Once we finished I held the principal closer to me and snarled, "Say it!"

Very weakly she said, "And the winner of the Canterlot High Music Competition is "The Goddess Queens of Equestria!"

I gave her a smile and then nodded at Pinkamena. She levitated her to herself and bit her neck open before allowing her corpse to drop. We smiled at one another and in unison said, "Mission accomplished!"

"Princess Celestia!"

"What?"

"This is your last warning! You can not alter this, especially in such a bloody and unrealistic manner!"

"Unrealistic? Look at the skin of these undesirables we killed! Now these so called humans are unrealistic!"

"Look, I agree that your ending would be much funner and had it really happened that way, I would watch that film over and over but it did not happen that way!"

"Come on, just let me finish this once!"

"You know what? Fine, I'll let you finish this your way BUT keep in mind, you can not alter any other endings, alright?"

"Alright, but now let me and Pinkamena gloat in our victory!"

"Alright, just this once. Now finish this up and then do whatever it was you planned on doing."

I am so happy! StormLuna decided to let me end one my way! Alright, where was I. Oh yes, Pinkamena and I stood there triumphant on the battle field, looking over the corpses of our fallen enemies and we headed over to where The Rainblows were singing and found Twilight. Now was it a bit saddening to see her body blown apart but at the same time I felt a great sense of satisfaction. I punished a tyrant who betrayed her homeland by putting lesser creatures ahead of them. Now given that Pinkamena had levitated one of her arms to herself and began to snack on it, something crossed my mind.

"Hey Pinkamena, want to be a princess?"

"Yes, being a princess would be FUN, FUN, FUN!"

"Alright, once we get back to Equestria I will crown you Princess Pinkamena, the Princess of Murder and Torture."

"Don't worry Celestia, I won't let you down. I'll kill any and all undesirables!"

"Good, let's get going home!"

Pinkamena nodded and we headed back to the horse statue, which managed to escape the destruction laid down by our gun ships. Once we arrived back in what was now her castle, I destroyed that mirror and forever cut ties between Equestria and that primitive world. Once we finished that we decided to call it a night and prepare for a special event.

Well the following day arrived and I must say, Pinkamena's friends were shocked to see her in her new form. Well naturally they would be and of course they asked about Twilight and we had to break the bad news to them, that she wound up getting killed in that other world. Naturally though we would never tell them how she died nor would we let them know that we were responsible for it.

The four of them began to cry and we did our best to console them but we figured that the event that would soon unfold would wipe all those tears away. Now in the past we always held coronations up in Canterlot but I asked Pinkamena where she wanted it held so we decided to hold it here in Ponyville.

Now yeah my sister was shocked and many of the ponies in Ponyville were stunned and sad that Twilight was gone but hey, she betrayed the ponies of Equestria so she had to be punished! Now you probably wonder what happened regarding bringing in a sixth since there are six thrones. Well I decided that rather than having Lemon Hearts on board, I would promote that dentist I'm so scared of to being part of this group. Yes, Colgate now has a throne and I'm certain she will keep the others from letting their teeth get in bad shape!

Now I must say that things in Equestria are far better. We have a bad ass princess in Ponyville, my sister will still get her fritters, I will still get my cake and more importantly, my lovelies and regarding Cadence? Who gives a shit about her? As long as she keeps on putting out I'll be happy....and now we move on to a new Equestria, a new My Little Pony centered around my Princess of Murder! Yeah the show will likely be moved to FX or somewhere else they will show that but oh well, everypony will be happy!

"Well Celestia, are you happy?"

"Yes, I am very happy! Thank you for letting me end that movie so much better than Meghan did."

"You're welcome Celestia but you must do one little thing for me if you want to keep your cake and your lovelies in the future."

"What is it?"

"You must give your synopsis of the REAL ending of Rainbow Rocks!"

"What? But it was awful and lame compared to mine! That traitor Twilight lives and Pinkamena doesn't become a princess!"

"I'm sorry Celestia but I do have fans who want the real ending as well. Either do it or I take your lovelies and your cake away."

"Oh fine but I'm only doing this so I don't get punished!"

Ok, *yawn* where was I. Oh yes, DJ-PON3 had her headphones on and was never brainwashed by The Dazzlings and somehow Twilight's mutt notified her to free them and then take them to some ridge where she had her car/music machine parked. Unfortunately the Lame Five got their instruments plugged in and they began to sing to counter the spell the sirens had brainwashed everyone with.

Ok, the sirens put more power into their song, those pendants begin to glow and they finally take their true form. Kind of unnerving but hey, at least they can't get me watching them through this thing. Oooh, fun, the sirens strike The Rainbooms directly and knock my moronic Twily's microphone out of her hand and it looks like The Dazzlings will win this and enslave that world. I'll just go destroy that mirror to keep them from coming here and we'll be short one princess. Oh well, we did just fine without Twilight before, we'll live without her after this.

Now for what I don't get. Sunset Shimmer, who had mostly been ignored, denied a chance to be part of their stupid band and then she decides to start singing to beat the sirens. Then the worst possible thing happens, The Rainblows start singing and playing and they get their pony-like additions, the ears and wings. Ugh, why did this have to happen? Oh that's right, because StormLuna is being a stick in the mud and making me do the boring ending too.

Well in the end The Rainblows, I mean Rainbooms won, the sirens' pendants broke and it was all over. Oh joy, now Twilight's overblown ego and ridiculous loyalty to these hacks is only going to get worse. Oh well, she'll pay for this when she gets home. Luna and I are warming up the Twicane and in the event she does something else that will piss me off, we may have even more plans for her, plans she won't like.

The concert is over and once again I am enraged, Twilight is hugging Flash Sentry! That's it, her punishment will be far more brutal this time. She hugged him, she smiled at him and for a second it looked like they might kiss but luckily for her, she didn't. Had she done so, I would have smashed that mirror, she could have stayed there, got knocked up by Brad (still, what a lame name) and wound up on "Sixteen and Pregnant."

Finally after yapping with her fake friends for a bit she gets her ass home where it belongs....and the credits roll. Good thing they did because it hid what the animators could not show.

When she got home it was not her friends that were waiting for her, it was Luna, me and the Twicane! Let's just say that the four of us went up to her sleeping chambers and had tons and tons of fun. I'm guessing that after this experience, she will deactivate that mirror permanently and forget about those magicless hacks in that other world. If she doesn't want me to rip her insides out with the Twicane, she will.

"There StormLuna, happy? I did the lame ending."

"Yes Celestia, it was acceptable so I won't take your lovelies or your cake away from you."

"Good and now I must get going, I need to get some cake in my system and I'm sure you have a Cubs game to watch."

"That I do so you enjoy your cake, alright."

"Alright, and you enjoy your game."

You see, everything is fine between the two of us. I'll still get my lovelies, I'll still get my cake and don't worry, I won't try to really screw these things up in the future, well for the most part and hopefully the Cubs win or StormLuna will be in a very foul mood.