Well everypony, you have all continued to behave so, as promised, I shall share with you my synopsis of "Twilight's Kingdom Part 2."

Yeah, yeah, yeah we all know what happened in the last episode. Everything from me making plans on killing Flash Sentry through Discord's betrayal and of course the most scary part, Twilight's rant and threats to punish me for taking a chance on Discord trying to take care of Tirek.

Alright, where was I when I left, oh yes, ridding ourselves of our magic. Here is the thing though, magic can not simply disappear so somepony has to keep it safe. There is one bit of good news, it is believed that Tirek does not know that a fourth Alicorn princess exists in Equestria. Hell I didn't even know he knew about Cadence, I thought he only knew about Luna and I. Well we can't worry about that now.

Now that Twilight knows what must be done and after a bit of persuasion, we were able to convince her to keep our magic safe. I know I fucked up royally on trusting Discord to aid us in stopping Tirek but this was the only option. The three of us know that Twily would never turn on us but what if she was to run into Tirek and he stole all our magic? If that happened Equestria would be doomed and everypony in the land would be praying for death as it would be preferable to enslavement.

Now for the energy transfer, I will admit that neither Luna nor myself wanted to have to do this but desperate times call for desperate measures. It felt weird, a bad kind of weird to be shooting all of my magic up into a ball and I could sense that Luna and Cadence felt the same way. Twilight was nervous seeing that ball of energy heading towards her and was literally shocked as it all entered her body. The way she was glowing and her eyes were shining white I thought she was going to blow apart but luckily that did not happen.

After the transfer was over, I felt terrible. I felt more than just terrible, I felt empty. It was a feeling that I had never experienced before. You will never know what it is like to go from being the most powerful being in the universe to being a magic-less hack. To go from being a Goddess to being no more powerful than the royalty from Maretonia is humiliating but like I said earlier, desperate times call for desperate measures.

Now it was time for us to say our good-byes. While I thought for sure Twilight would be thinking that she could easily depose us after she defeated Tirek, the look on her face said otherwise. When she saw us as blank flanks, she could sense our sadness. Damn straight we were sad. I guess now I know how the filly illuminati feels not having their cutie marks but for the three of us it is worse, we know what it was like to have magic and talents, those three don't. For now though, we have to deal with it and send Twilight on our way since Tirek is likely going to come looking for us.

Night has arrived in Equestria but one thing I wonder is how? Luna doesn't have her magic anymore and I don't remember Twilight lowering the sun and raising the moon so that was another fuck up on the part of the writers. Of course they do this all the time, I'm not sure if it is just things they miss or if they do it on purpose to see how many people will notice. Enough about that, it is time for my ultra-powerful Twily to try and raise the sun.

All seems fine down in Ponyville until she realizes she is late raising the sun. How could she? She has always been so anal about being on time and had the most epic freak out of all time over being tardy with the friendship lesson letter! If Tirek is ever defeated and I get my magic back, I'm going to punish her for being tardy raising the sun! How will I do it though? I got it, I'll get that Twicane out of her hooves and do to her with it what she wants to me! That will teach her to mishandle MY sun!

Now the time has come and while she has a horrible time doing it, she eventually gets the sun raised. Another problem though, she set the moon in THE EAST! Luna saw this and is not one bit pleased about it. She is talking about punishing Twilight too if we ever get our magic back but all she wants to do is seize her assets and buy a bunch of fritters from Applejack! She is so boring! Why only do something to get fritters when she could punish Twilight like I could! Ok, I get it, Luna is uptight, rigid and fritter obsessed while I am a lot more carefree and like my lavender icing on my cake!

Well shit, I think Luna's boring ways of punishing Twilight may be the least of our problems as I hear something outside, loud stomping. Shit, he's out there, Tirek is out there. Well after stealing Shining Armor's magic he comes barging in like the bastard he is thinking he will steal our magic, grow to the size of a mountain and enslave everypony. Guess what though, that ain't happening!

Oh yes Tirek, you think you're all that and a sack of shit. You think you can steal our magic but we don't have any you dumb fuck. What are you going to do now? Are you going to smash a few buildings because you're mad? Are you going to go jack off because all the female centaurs think you're ugly....oh wait, we have to listen to you yap for a while because Discord is terrible company and nopony or nocentaur else wants to put up with you.

Now while I'm having to put up with this idiot bloviate about how great he is and then whine about how his ex-girlfriend dumped him for that baboon from The Lion King, my Twily is having issues with all that extra magic. She is having so many problems with it that she damages the door to the library! Good grief, she couldn't have just used her damn hoof to open the door instead of blowing it off the hinges. Oh well, right now I have bigger things to worry about than minor damages to government property.

Spike must be able to tell something is up because my Twily runs from him and then takes flight. Holy shit she's flying fast, I didn't know she had it in her. Perhaps she should take up racing if we all survive this ordeal because she could certainly put Rainbow in her place! Speaking of Rainbow, my Twily soars past her but then crashes into the ground! Perhaps I should call her Twilight Sparkle, the princess of crashing. Forget her going into racing.

Now her friends know something is up because she never flown that fast and one thing they didn't show was them asking her why the hell she had energy just shooting off of her horn. Yeah Twilight, you can claim that you caught a strong breeze but they know better. I can tell they think you have been taking magic steroids and that look on Rarity's face. I can tell she is wanting some so she can be powerful enough to cast a spell on Spike to get him to stop wanting to bang her. Whenever she comes up here all she does is whine and complain wishing he would find somepony else to stalk. You know, I might just make that happen, eventually.

So now my Twily is headed off to my old castle and told her friends to stay put and make everypony stay indoors. While all this was happening here I was along with my fellow princesses having to put up with Tirek and his triumphant celebration. Yeah, yeah, yeah Tirek. We all get it, you think that soon everypony is going to have to bow to your will. We'll see about that because my Twily is very resilient. Maybe she'll write a spell or something to drain this idiot of all the magic he has stolen and everything can go back to normal.

Damn it, damn it, damn it. He's sending all three of us to Tartarus and now we are weak and can barely speak. I did speak to someone, or should I say somedog once we got there.

"Hey Cerberus, can I ask you of a favor?"

"What is it?"

"Could you keep an eye on things and continue my synopsis of what's going on. The readers don't want a huge part of this missing."

"Yes but only IF you don't neuter me."

"Oh fine, I won't neuter you. Now get up to the entrance of the cave so you can see what is going on!"

"Fine but remember your promise. If you don't keep it, I'll eat Fluttershy."

"No, not my Fluttershy! Anypony but Fluttershy!"

"Do I have your word then?"

"You have my word, I won't neuter you."

"Good, now I'll go do this"

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Hi, Cerberus here. As you all know Celestia is locked up in Tartarus and unfortunately I can't just set her free. I would but the writers won't let me so I have to report to all of you what I see so here we go.

Wow this synopsis giving stuff must give me awesome powers because I can actually see inside Canterlot Castle. Ugh, there is that arrogant bastard Tirek and his little sidekick Discord. Grrr....so help me, if everything is ever returned to normal, I'll kill and eat not just Tirek, but that tyrant Discord too. I've never ate any centaur or draconeqqus meat and I can't help but wonder what it tastes like. Alright, enough about what kind of meat sounds tasty, I must continue this if I don't want to get neutered.

Back to the episode, well it looks like Tirek is giving Discord some sort of medallion. You know how Discord likes pretty shiny things and now he is happy. Oh boy, Tirek is mad when he learns there is a fourth Alicorn princess and to make matters worse, Discord has told him where she lives. I have a feeling that some serious shit is about to go down, perhaps it will be something to make monitoring this all worth it.

Back to Ponyville, ok it looks like Twilight's friends were able to get everypony to stay indoors but along comes Discord who is obviously up to no good. I know I told Tia that I would eat Fluttershy if she neutered me but I am appalled that Discord would do what he did. Pretend he is bringing those nasty cucumber sandwiches and then imprison them all in a cage.

Oh great, now Tirek has come along and is stealing the magic from the element bearers. Damn it, I'm thinking that things might not wind up going all that well and I might wind up having to guard these princesses forever. Maybe something good will happen but I'm not going to count on it. To make matters worse there is Discord acting like he's all that boasting about how nopony in Equestria will be able to stand up against him and Tirek.

Just how fucking stupid can he be? He should know that Tirek isn't going to share power with anyone and to make sure this is the case, he steals Discord's magic too. You see Discord, in his eyes you are worthless, completely worthless! You deserved this you asshole! I'll admit, I don't like Tirek one bit but I'm glad he stole that traitor's magic for two reasons. One, he betrayed the ponies of Equestria and two, he'll be easier to eat. Him trying to teleport all over the place would have made it rather difficult for me to feast upon his miserable, pathetic flesh.

Now it looks like it is Twilight, who is having serious problems with all that magic versus Tirek. Damn, I know she's having issues with her teleportation right now but she can teleport hundreds of miles and what is even more amazing is that I can see it. Having the responsibility of giving a synopsis really kicks ass, I can pretty much see anything, anywhere I want! I guess I shouldn't be gloating over this right now though, there is a lone Alicorn princess out there against some demonic scum on steroids.

Oh good grief Tirek, get over yourself. Twilight doesn't have anything that belongs to you but just like every other demon, you are a spoiled brat who thinks the world owes him everything. Well Twilight begins her battle with this thing but it won't be easy because she crashes right at the base of his leg. Twilight, get out of there, he'll steal your magic.

Luckily Twilight listened to me and teleported to her library but unfortunately, Tirek has spotted her and has fired energy towards her. Oh boy there goes the library and now Twilight is pissed! That is the absolute wrong thing for Tirek to do. I know Twilight well enough to know that since he destroyed her books, he is screwed. After all, nopony, nocentaur or nothing else destroys her books and gets away with it! What is even worse is that he almost killed Owlicious!

Now of course Twilight is in full rage mode and I don't blame her. Holy shit that is a lot of energy she is unleashing up on him. With any luck she'll kill the bastard but unfortunately that is not what happens. Now he knows what the hell has happened, he knows that she is carrying the magic of all four Alicorn princesses in her. While it won't ensure her victory, it will ensure that defeating her will be next to impossible.

And now what appears to be an epic battle ensues. The energy used in this is tremendous and while I hate to admit it, Tirek's physical power is great, so great that I think he has likely found some steroids and pumped up on him. Now the bastard throws Twilight into a mountain but luckily she uses her aura to protect herself. Now for what I don't get, how the hell can Tirek fly without magic? How is he just able to lunge forward and stay airborne? Ok I get it, it is a cartoon so anything can happen but still, I think they're glorifying a lesser creature here.

After tearing a hole in the mountain their battle continues until they fire energy at one another and the place where that energy meets is devastated. Damn, the energy released from the collision creates a mushroom cloud. Now that is epic. Finally Tirek realizes that he ain't going to defeat Twilight but unfortunately, he has taken the Mane Six, Spike and that traitor Discord captive. His terms for their release is that she give him all of his magic.

Uh Twilight, are you sure that giving him that magic is such a good idea? I know your friends are important but are they really worth allowing Equestria to burn in his fires? Well her answer to this is yes. Tirek sets her friends free and after a bit of a disagreement, he sets Discord free too and then he steals Twilight's magic. Hell I'm surprised Tirek didn't throw her in here with the other princesses.

Shit, now we have a mega-sized centaur roaming around ready to destroy anything and everything. Oh and now here we go with Discord. Yeah uh huh Discord, sure you feel bad over this. You can claim you know what friendship is all you want but you don't! You can claim that medallion you're giving to Twilight is a sign of loyalty but we all know better. Wait a minute, did that thing just have a rainbow go across it when Discord put it around her neck? If so, maybe Equestria isn't fucked and I don't have to keep protagonists imprisoned anymore.

Very quickly they get to the chest and as it turns out, that medallion was the sixth key. Uh ponies, you might want to stop celebrating you got the sixth key and unlock that chest unless you want Tirek to destroy you and the tree of harmony. Well they finally turn those keys and something magical is happening. The magic from the elements flows down and into that chest and how the hell did they get sucked into it only to raise again with amazing new mane and tail colors?

Now for the ultimate form of magic to be unleashed, the magic of friendship. I will tell you, seeing that rainbow zapping all the magic out of that hideous thing was wonderful and want to know what was even better? Seeing that bastard back in a cage here in Tartarus, where he belongs. I will make this promise to all of you, I'll never leave my post again because this nearly ruined Equestria and the lands beyond.

Now the magic is spreading across the land and everypony is getting their magic back and most importantly, the princesses have got their magic back and are flying out of here. One thing I did want to make sure of before I let her leave though was that Celestia would hold true to her word and not neuter me. Luckily she said she would not punish me and now all is good. Also, my time of telling you what has happened is over as Celestia has returned.

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Your Sexy Sun Goddess has returned after being imprisoned in Tartarus and like Cerberus said, I will keep my word and not neuter him because I really didn't want to lose Fluttershy. Ok, back to the episode. While everypony has their magic back, the Tree of Harmony is still acting weird, I mean much weirder than normal.

You remember that chest thing? Well now it is being carried by a rainbow into the outskirts of Ponyville and is sucked into the ground and then something very strange happened. A castle sprouts out of the ground and I'm pretty sure you all know who it belongs to. It doesn't belong to me, Luna, Cadence or anypony else. It belongs to my Twily, yep my Twily!

You see, I knew all of this was going to happen the moment that chest appeared. Enough about that, now it is time to take Twilight in her new castle and discuss with her what her role in Equestria is. I tell you, she was stoked when she saw that she finally has her own throne room, well technically it belongs to all her friends since they all have thrones.

Well I let Twilight know that she has the ability to spread friendship across Equestria so it is natural that her new title is Princess Twilight Sparkle, The Princess of Friendship. Of course her friends are going to be a big part of things because what the hell would she be without her friends? I'll tell you what, she'd be a reclusive princess who likes having your Sexy Sun Goddess over all the time to have fun. Well she'll still love having me over, she just won't be a recluse.

Now it is time for a song and the time for every hack in Ponyville to come out and start singing while a rainbow shoots out of the top of Twilight's castle and passes by everypony that gave my girls the key they needed to unlock that chest. Now many of you noticed that Discord gave me flowers and winked at me. No it does not mean we are dating nor does it mean he is in love with me!

Now I'll get to the reasoning for that, but it goes much further back than just what I set in motion at the start of the episode. Remember how Cerberus left his post a couple years back? You see, I'd had plans for Twilight like this for an extremely long time so I lured him away from his post with a few dog bones. I lured him away just long enough to let Tirek escape and luckily Twilight got him back before anything else escaped because that would have sucked.

Alright, fast forward to the start of the episode. I knew Tirek was about to start stealing magic and once I found out that he did, I summoned Discord and told him to go join forces with Tirek. I did that for a reason. You see, I knew that medallion around his neck was Twilight's key but I knew it wouldn't work unless I could get it away from him and then have an ally give it to Twilight as a sign of friendship. Well luckily it all worked out and Equestria was not destroyed, too bad the same can't be said for The Golden Oaks Library. Oh well, Twilight has her castle now and as an added bonus, a huge library came along with it so she'll still be a happy little bookworm.

Now as you all know Twilight is not happy with how I nearly destroyed Equestria but she said she would let me go take care of a couple items of business before she imprisoned me in her sleeping chambers for nearly a year. Want to know what I did? I decided to take a little trip to the Crystal Empire, I returned with Cadence. She was relieved when she learned that I decided to not punish her but the same could not be said for somepony else.

Remember Flash Sentry, the guard I hate so much? Well I abducted him and took him back to Canterlot. When I led him out in front of the populous and told them of his crimes, being too close to Twilight and how he blushed at Twilight, we all decided that he must go. Let's just say that his screams were loud yet pitiful as the flames consumed him. The crowd cheered in joy as the most hated pony in Equestria was no more. And like it was with when I executed Sunset Shimmer's parents, Pinkamena Diane Pie threw an epic "after public execution party" with lots and lots of cake and fritters!

Now I had best get back down to Ponyville. I know Twilight isn't overly thrilled with me and maybe if I beg and plead with her, she'll spare the Twicane and just make me her slave for the next eleven months.