Hi everypony, this is your Supreme Dictator Celestia again and do I have a surprise for you. I'm going to give you my analysis of Griffon the Brush Off. It was quite an interesting episode and it did prove one thing. It proved that griffons are generally assholes and the behavior of Gilda confirms why I consider them to be one of the lesser species in this world. Let's face it, ponies are the best and out of ponies, Alicorns are the best and out of the Alicorns, I am the best!

Alright, first off we have Pinkie who is yapping about Rainbow Dash's moves while Twilight is reading. You would think that with how Twilight was responding to her she would get the hint that she doesn't give a rat's ass about Rainbow's moves. I often respond the same way when somepony is being annoying.

I don't know why the hell Pinkie seems to think the sun rises and sets in Rainbow's ass. She sees her and immediately starts following her trying to get her attention. Pinkie thinks so highly of her that despite being treated like shit, she tries to warn Rainbow about a mountain which she immediately slams into. I couldn't help but laugh over that. It serves Rainbow right for being such a bitch.

Well, Pinkie goes looking for Rainbow AGAIN. What the hell is wrong with her? I wouldn't go looking for somepony who is being a total ass. Well she finds Rainbow and starts following her around everywhere. I swear, she has to be the most annoying of Twilight's friends. She is like a puppy dog, she constantly follows other ponies around until she gets what she wants. Well finally Rainbow realizes that escaping from Pinkie ain't going to happen since she has some sort of weird ability to show up anywhere and everywhere much faster than she should be able to.

Well she is able to convince Rainbow to start pulling pranks. I really feel for Spike, getting scared into getting the hiccups like that. What really pisses me off is that their stupid little pranks causes me to get buried in scrolls. Here I think I might be getting something important, such as a note from Twilight telling me to pay her a visit tonight and have some fun but all I get are junk scrolls. Scrolls advertising stagecoach insurance, life insurance, homeowners insurance and all sorts of other shit that doesn't affect my life any. I am Equestria's DICTATOR after all, I have everything provided for me. Well in the end Pinkie got her just deserts when the annoying pegasus scares her into getting hiccups as well.

One thing I don't get is when Rainbow tells Pinkie she isn't as annoying as she thought when she discovers she is a prankster. I thought those two had known each other for years and were friends. Hell, the writers have it seem as though they are just mere acquaintances that only met yesterday. Good job screwing up there writers. I would think that would have been caught by Hasbro or whoever the hell reviews this stuff but apparently not.

Well they decide to go and start pulling pranks on other ponies. I swear, that joke store in Ponyville has to have by far the worst architectural design in all of Equestria. I'll tell you one thing, something that hideous would NEVER be allowed up here in Canterlot. I'm surprised it is even allowed in Ponyville. It reminds me more of some crappy whore house in Las Pegasus. Ok, back to where I was. Well they decide to put some sneeze powder in some flowers they place on Rarity's doorstep. This is proof that Rarity is far too trusting. If I was to just discover flowers on my doorstep I would have one of my guards go check it for explosives, poison, sneezing power or anything else I wouldn't want around me.

Now the two jokers decide they are going to replace my star student and former ho's ink with vanishing ink. What are you two thinking? Yes she may not be my marefriend anymore but still, messing with her is not a wise idea. And I would love to know the hell they were able to so quickly paint Applejack's apples. Well this is a cartoon, so anything can happen. What gets me is that they would even think of pulling a prank on Fluttershy, well Rainbow anyway. Well she is a total bitch so I can see why she would do that. Thankfully Pinkie stopped it dead in it's tracks.

The next morning arrives and Pinkie is ready to make everyponies' lives hell again. This time she is in for a surprise though when she goes to get her partner in crime. She is greeted by Bitchda....oops, I mean Gilda. Yep, the bitchiest character to date has shown up, and given how she is, conjuring up a bigger bitch will be hard to do. Poor Pinkie, she keeps on trying to hang out with her friend but Gilda keeps on running her off in not so pleasant ways. Well it isn't all Gilda's wrongdoing here, Rainbow was equally as guilty in making Pinkie feel bad.

Well Pinkie runs off to Twilight to whine and complain. I'm thinking she should have ran off and whined to somepony else because Twilight is not only going to take a more analytical approach, she also ain't going to give a shit. I love Spike's comment, "green with envy, well pink with envy." Yeah he can be a little dick sometimes, but he does have a sense of humor.

Now comes the time when I would really like to snap Gilda's neck and feast on her corpse, when she goes into Ponyville. The bitch has the audacity to scare Granny Smith, who I probably hold in a higher regard than any other pony in Equestria. Some say she's senile but I think otherwise. She is simply elderly and something like what Gilda did would frighten most anypony. Then she STEALS an apple! I didn't know griffons liked apples, I thought they were primarily carnivorous. Even though I'm older than dirt, I still learn new things once in a while.

Ok, I honestly wonder about Fluttershy. Why the hell would she be leading a bunch of fucking ducks down main street? Doesn't she know that she will likely bump into somepony? Doesn't she know that other ponies have places to go and why doesn't she just have the damn things FLY? They do have wings. Her idiotic behavior still isn't an excuse for Gilda to be a grade A cunt to her though. I honestly wanted to kill her then as well. Hell, I've wanted to kill that bitch for years as I did accidentally run into her one time. She roared at me too but cowered in fear when she realized who she had fucked with.

Guess what? It's party time, Pinkie Pie style now! Before the bitch gets to Sugarcube Corner, other ponies are talking about her and you know something, I don't blame Fluttershy for asking Pinkie if this party was such a good idea. I don't blame her. If I was holding a party for Gilda, I would have a guillotine ready and once she got there, stun her and behead her. If a guillotine wasn't available, I'd just have Luna bite her head off, since she has done that to unruly griffons in the past.

Once Gilda gets there, let the fun begin! The hoof buzzer incident was hilarious, especially how Gilda's feathers were all fucked up afterwards. So now Pinkie wants to introduce the bitchy griffon to her friends. Well this ought to be a hoot. Now why would Pinkie want everypony to cheer for her and honor her in welcoming her to Ponyville? Pinkie knows she's a bitch and yet thinks everypony should honor her? Does she seriously think that will improve Gilda's attitude? No chance in hell is she going to improve her attitude.

The pepper covered lemon drops and the dribble glass with the punch was hilarious. Seriously though, Gilda must not be able to handle spicy foods if a bit of pepper seemed hot to her. Hell I eat five alarm chili all the time and it doesn't bother me. I could always just invite Gilda up here and serve that to her, it would likely kill her. Nah, that would be too easy on her. If I ever kill her, I want it to be gruesome and bloody.

Well apparently spitting snakes is a popular prank down there in Ponyville given that Applejack was pranked like that before. She laughed about it but Gilda didn't exactly care for it. Again she gets all pissy and then Pinkie gives her a cake. What the hell is she hoping for? Is she hoping she can get Gilda in bed? Ugh, the very thoughts of that make me want to vomit. I have decided that Gilda is way too thin skinned. Relighting birthday candles pissed her off. The more I see of her the more I want to kill her. She seems to get all mad but deep down this is what she is really thinking, "Waaaah, waaah! Poor me, poor little me! Why is everypony so mean to me? Waaaaaah!"

The pin the tail on the pony moment was priceless! Gilda in her arrogant stupidity decides to not listen to Pinkie. I know she distrusts her but come on, even I know how that game works. Apparently griffons don't. They probably play a game called pin the ass on the griffon. Well Gilda slips on some cake frosting and goes crashing into the kitchen. Once she returns she shows what a cunt she really is. She roars and goes on a tirade. Somepony forgot to tell that bitch to use her inside voice.

Then she starts yelling how every single prank was set up by Pinkie Pie, which was wrong. I will admit, I was shocked when Rainbow admitted that she was the one who set up those pranks and that Pinkie was just the one who threw the party. Pinkie must be very naive if she honestly thought that a party would turn Gilda's frown upside down. Nothing would get that bitch in a better mood, not even getting laid.

I was honestly impressed when Rainbow did not leave with Gilda and went off on her for treating her new friends like shit. I guess there is some hope for her after all. And well, I'm thinking that after this Rainbow will stop hanging out with party poopers, well she won't be hanging with Gilda anymore. One thing they don't show in the episode is me and my sister hunting Gilda down and punishing her for her behavior. Luna caught her and bit her head off which was quite the sight. We took her carcass back to Canterlot, skinned her and ate raw griffon. It was quite tasty. Hopefully another griffon will come along and give us a reason to kill it as well.