Hi everypony, it is your supreme dictator Celestia again and apple bucking season has arrived. I am a bit worried though because all the apples may not get harvested and it might be my fault. Well you know how Big Mac got hurt? I am partially to blame for that because I decided that, although I am into mares, I would give a stallion a chance. I decided that Big Mac was the only one deserving so I seduced him and took him to Canterlot. Well let's just say I got a little too rough with him and I managed to injure him. It's not a matter of him being weak, it is just a matter of how much bigger I am than him. While he was good, mares are far better so I'm not going to mess with another stallion ever again. After injuring him, I hurried up, got him home and told him to tell his family that he simply fell out of bed. They would probably have had Luna banish me to the sun if they knew I was responsible for his injury.

Back to the harvest. Wow, that is a hell of a big harvest at Sweet Apple Acres this year but thanks to Yours Truly, Applejack has to do it all alone. Big Mac, always the wise one tells his sister that she won't be able to do it alone. Being the stubborn pony that she is, she insists on doing it alone. This should be entertaining.

You know something, I never knew that the cows down there in Ponyville were such little chickenshits. They stampede over a snake, a snake! Now if they were down in Appaloosa I could understand since there are rattlesnakes there but there are not any poisonous snakes in Ponyville. So Applejack and Winona has to come and save the day. Well she manages to get the stampede's path turned right before they go thundering into town. I swear, Applejack is way too patient and way too nice. Had I been the one that had to save the day, I would have banished those fucking cows to the moon for making me waste my valuable time.

So they decide to hold a party and give Applejack a huge ass trophy. What about Winona, she did help too. So basically according to the citizens in Ponyville, it is fuck Winona, who cares that she aided in preventing the town from being flattened. During this ceremony, Twilight acts like it has to be all formal and shit. I've heard that when a pony is sexually frustrated they'll try to overcompensate in other areas. Maybe I need to pay her a visit since none of her friends are putting out, that ought to get her to quit acting like she is preparing a speech for some fancy ass university graduation. I find it funny that Rainbow, Pinkie and Fluttershy all interrupt her. After all, nopony would want to listen to a long-winded speech anyway and in the end the mane dying dingbat of a mayor realized that and stopped her before she could start to bore everypony.

Well Applejack, who has been being stubborn and working her ass to death finally shows up to the ceremony late. Don't get me wrong, Applejack is my favorite of Twilight's friends but why the fuck would she carry all those apples with her to the ceremony. Was she really so tired that she forgot to leave them at home. I couldn't help but laugh when after she was given the trophy that she was standing on the stage looking into it making weird noises. Naturally that prompts Pinkie to go and do the same thing, which is no surprise. Applejack decides to cut the party short and drag her trophy home. After all, she has to continue her nearly impossible task of clearing the whole farm on her own.

Ok, what I don't get is why in the hell she would go helping her friends if she is so dead set on getting that orchard cleared. It makes no sense to me . Well first she decides that she is going to help Rainbow with some trick that she thinks will impress the Wonderbolts. Rainbow must be a complete idiot if she thinks that some trick that can only be accomplished by getting launched off of an overgrown see-saw will impress the Wonderbolts. Well Applejack continues to jump off of this platform, missing the high end of the see-saw numerous times. I'm surprised she didn't break something, such as her whole body in doing this. I love how she just presses down on her end eventually. Finally she manages to land on her end, but unfortunately for the arrogant pegasus, it was while she was stunned, sending her soaring across the sky and crashing into Twilight's balcony.

Alright animators, you really FUCKED UP this one. You had it appear as though she was launched a mile and that the library was way out of town when the library is right there in town. Ok, I get it, animation errors. If I had a bit for every animation error I could probably build a new castle. Of course Rainbow cries and whines to Twilight about it so she goes and interrupts her from her tedious task and occasional naps. Well Twilight goes asking Applejack if she needs some help and naturally my favorite but most stubborn pony says no.

Now she is off to help Pinkie Pie bake some muffins at Sugarcube Corner. With as tired as she is, despite being the best baker in the world, this can only lead to a disaster. I have come to the conclusion that Pinkie has to be the most ignorant pony of all time. She tells Applejack what she needs and every time, she grabs the wrong item but Pinkie does nothing to stop her from putting it in there. In the end you would think she would notice the fucking worms she put in the mix. Well the muffins get done and suddenly you have a bunch of very sick ponies, including Pinkie Pie. Either Applejack didn't eat any or she has a stomach of steel since she didn't get sick. Also, those worms must be tough as nails to survive being baked. Well I have decided that I will never eat anything Pinkie makes, because baked bads do not sound very appetizing.

After poisoning half the town, Applejack goes back to harvesting apples. Once again, Twilight goes and reprimands her over what happened and basically demands that she allow somepony to help her. Come on Twilight, haven't you figured it out yet. She ain't going to go letting other ponies help her with this. The Apple Family, while I love them dearly, are a stubborn bunch. They are set in their ways so why don't you just drop it? Besides, Applejack now has to go help Fluttershy round up bunnies.

What I would like to know is why the hell is it so important to conduct a bunny census? I swear, Fluttershy really needs to come back up and be my lover every weekend. The fact that she is doing this is proof that she has way too much time on her hooves. Being the good friend she is, Applejack takes time away from the harvest she has been bitching so much about to aid in this worthless endeavor. Given the state that she is in, Applejack isn't exactly going to make the best decisions in herding them and having Winona help herd bunnies is a very bad idea. Winona probably saw them all as a bunch of little meals running around. Too bad she wouldn't have ate one of them, seeing Fluttershy cry would have been entertaining, then I could come to the rescue and make her feel all better if you know what I mean.

Well the roundup begins and immediately the bunnies go into a panic. Of course Fluttershy is whining about how they are scaring the bunnies. Who gives a fuck if they are scaring them? I sure don't care and I doubt Applejack does either. You ask her to help you but then you bitch about how she is helping. You should be glad she decided to help you at all. You are probably the only pony in Equestria that would give a rat's ass about the bunny population. Seriously though, I'm thinking of putting all the females down there on the pill so Fluttershy won't waste her time with this shit anymore. I can threaten her. I will tell her that if she doesn't start being my lover every weekend again I will sterilize every bunny, squirrel, rat, beaver and whatever the hell other animals she holds so dear. That should get her back in my bed.

After a bit of chasing bunnies around we have two stampedes in one episode, what fun! This time there would be nopony to stop the beasts from thundering through town. Luckily though the only thing that got destroyed were gardens and flowers, which only really bothered Roseluck, Daisy and Lily. Get over it girls, your damn flowers will grow back. And of course seeing the damage to the gardens and Fluttershy being unable to get the bunnies to listen to her, she goes to Sweet Apple Acres and once again starts to bitch out Applejack.

Applejack thought she was so close to achieving her goal. There she was up on a hill kicking what she thought was the last tree. Twilight states again that she needs help. With one last kick on that tree, the apples fall and Applejack appears to be victorious. She proudly states that she did it, that she cleared the whole orchard at Sweet Apple Acres without anypony's help. I loved what she said, "I did it. I cleared the entire Sweet Apple Acres crop without your help! What do you think about them apples?"

Big Mac, who is still injured, points to the other side of the orchard, which hasn't been touched and asks "what do you think about them apples?" She sees what still has to be done and passes out. I can understand why too. If I were about to drop dead of exhaustion and saw that I only had half the job done, I'd probably pass out to.

Finally when she comes to, and Twilight is kneeling over her. I am glad to see that Twilight finally appreciates the Apple Family ways but still insists that Applejack needs help. Surprisingly, Twilight is able to get Applejack to come to her senses and let her friends help her with the harvest. With the help of her friends, the rest of the harvest took no time. I tell you, Applejack claims she was a might stubborn, but she was horribly stubborn. To close things, no Spike, nopony wants those muffins you found in the garbage. Eat them yourself you little bastard, don't go making anypony sick. Had you forced those on anypony and made them sick, I would have came and banished your sorry ass to the moon.