Hello, this is your Supreme Dictator Celestia again. Now many of you have been very, very bad serfs. You have failed to do your part to contribute to Equestria, you have failed to pay your taxes and you have disrespected me a few too many times so I am going to punish you severely. I have decided to FORCE you to listen to my synopsis of Equestria Girls.

I'll make this short because I don't feel like going into too much detail over this abomination for two reasons. Number one, I didn't like it. Number two, I'm not going to punish you that badly!

Ok so now my Twily decides to leave her crown by her bed as she sleeps. How dumb can she be, doesn't she know those things are supposed to be locked in a vault when one sleeps? Maybe I shouldn't have made her a princess after all. Some dumb mirror that I had forgot about opens up and Sunset Shimmer, one of my former students, one who refused to put out after I was too rough with her, decided to come through it and steal Twilight's crown and replace it with some fake replica from this other world. Well she took the real crown back with her. Where they got the idea for a fake crown like this I'm not sure but I do know one thing, if I can get my hooves on Sunset Shimmer there will be a public execution here in Canterlot. Just for fun I'll hunt her parents down and execute them as well. If I can't get my hooves on her, her parents will still be put to death. We haven't had a public execution in Canterlot in a few hundred years and I'm just itching to execute somepony.

Luckily Twilight woke up and chased after her but it was too late, she got through the mirror. Now I had no clue where this mirror lead to, neither did my sister or Cadence. It could have lead to a world of carnivorous sea ponies but one thing is for sure, Twilight had to go through there and get her crown back. Now had the element of magic not been in that crown I would have told Twilight to forget about it, make me happy and we'd make her a new crown. However, since it has that gem in it, she has to put her life at risk heading to a world we know nothing about. Well we send her off and wish her well. I just hope she can make it back through that accursed thing before it closes. If she doesn't return, some villain will probably destroy Equestria, overthrow me and as far as Twilight goes, she'll become sea pony food or the victim of whatever creatures lie there.

One thing they didn't show in that dumb movie was the fun Twilight and I had before she left. I knew this might be the last time I see her so we had the hottest, raunchiest fun we ever had. I had to exclude Twinkleshine though as I just wanted it to be me and my sexy Princess Twily. Well the next morning arrives and after a good breakfast, I send her and Spike to what could be her doom. When she arrives she has transformed into something completely hideous. She has transformed into one of those Faust-forsaken creatures out of Lyra's comic books but she has lavender skin and Spike has turned into a dog, an extremely hideous purple and green dog. Hell, carnivorous sea ponies would have been preferable to what this world had to offer.

Well ok, now the bad part of this starts so I'll make it quicker. Twilight turns into a naive dingbat, a dingbat so dumb she makes Trixie look like the second coming of Starswirl. Well what can one expect when a pony is transformed into an inferior creature with a primitive brain. Well she meets some humans that resemble her friends here in Equestria and surprisingly they aren't as stupid as she became. Maybe it is because they have always lived there but that is beside the point.

She has to enroll in some high school. Yes, a high school for ordinary, lame brained humans. Good thing though because she discovers her crown is being held hostage by some human who resembles me. Sadly though, the human me is just as primitive as the other hacks in that world and what makes that world truly terrible, no one (yes, it is no one instead of nopony since they aren't ponies) there has magic. Ugh that must suck.

Well my now naive and moronic little Twily has friends but eventually she bumps into something truly inferior. She runs into one of those disgusting bipeds, one of the lesser sex, named Brad, aka Flash Sentry. Alright, if he touches my Twily inappropriately, I'll go through there and kill the bastard. He looks like a pretty boy so maybe he is a lot like that river serpent, flamboyant and possibly gay, well in this human's case, most likely gay.....BUT they blush at one another so he is likely bi. Alright, Twilight is in for a world of hurt if she ever gets home. I will force her to bathe in a bath of rubbing alcohol to cleanse her and then lock her in my chambers for months to purify her.

Now it is discovered that this crown is given to the princess, whore, queen or whatever title they give the most popular girl of some dumb dance. Now Twily and her new friends have to turn the school against Sunset Shimmer, who has apparently become some dictator bitch that has them all under her control. How the hell that little whore could get everyone to fear her is beyond me. Maybe she rapes them with spiked rods if they don't obey her, who knows? As long as my Twily gets home with her crown I'll be fine.

Well now it looks like Twilight is going to get framed for destroying the decorations for this human version of the Gala which I see is extremely dumbed down and made for serfs. Oh boy, now my human self won't let her go and is likely going to execute her. Shit, I've gotta do something so you know what I did? I temporarily handed all power over to Luna, went through the mirror and went through the trash to clear Twilight's name. In the movie they made it look like the bisexual pretty boy cleared her name, but it was really me. Boy oh boy was the human version of me surprised to meet me! I warned her that if she didn't let Twilight go to this dumb dance I would take her to Equestria and banish her to the moon. That got her to clear her in a hurry.

Well I return home to discover that Luna was making plans to invade and conquer Saddle Arabia. Good thing I got back when I did, I really don't feel like ruling over a land of magicless horses. I told Luna that they would just be a pain in the ass and while she seemed to agree, I could see she was just itching to expand our empire. Note to self: Don't hand over complete power to Luna ever again.

Well they get this dance off and as I watch I can't help but think, "Boring! This is as bad as the Gala! Something fun could happen such as a terrorist attack or a car come crashing into their gym. After all, humans like doing shit like that because they are braindead morons." Well as it turns out the students had to vote which slut gets Twilight's crown. I should have engraved "Property of Princess Celestia, GODDESS of every living thing" on it before I gave it to my little student. Well shit happens and I just have to hope more of the peons there vote for Twilight than Sunset. If Twilight loses, I'll have to return to that world, get the crown myself, drag both Twilight and Sunset back to Equestria, destroy that damn mirror and execute Sunset! I secretly hope that happens, I want to execute Sunset so bad I can't stand it!

Time for the vote, Twilight wins! Well now she has that crown on her head and she can get her ass home. Just as I thought she was going to come home Sunset steals her crown and turns into a she-demon. Do I want to mess with that thing? I'm not sure. Well in the end Twilight "reforms" Sunset, got her crown back but she jeopardizes her chance to come home by deciding to dance with that bisexual pretty boy at their stupid dance. Oh boy, if she gets home she's really going to pay now! Maybe if she gets home I should strip her of her wings in public, take away her title and execute her along with her whole family in front of the whole city. That will teach her to willingly let an inferior creature of the lesser sex touch her. I'm sure I can get Moondancer to be more sociable and shape that gem into the shape of a moon. She is good with magic after all.

Well finally Twilight realizes it is time to go. She says her farewells to her friends and her and Spike step into the portal, just as it was going to close. When she returned we acted all happy she was back. I was happy she was back because she had that element where it belonged. However, I was not so thrilled to see her at first. They didn't show this but she gave me an extremely nervous look upon her return. She cold sense I knew what she did and knew that her punishment was going to be brutal. What is even worse is she bumps into a new guard that just graduated from the academy. It is the pony form of him, the pony form of that bisexual pretty boy Flash Sentry. What is worse is that she blushes at him. I have decided that Flash must go. I was going to execute him but Cadence convinced me to go easy on him and let him go up to the Crystal Empire.

Now for what they could never show. Twilight engaged in horrid activities in the human world and blushing at that guard upon her return didn't help her case either. I told the city about her crimes and we all agreed she deserved 100 lashes, so that is what she got. After that I gave her the bath of alcohol which really hurt because of the wounds from those lashings. Finally after a night of stinging pain, I hauled her ass up to my sleeping chambers and made her my slut for five months straight. This ought to make her realize that humans are not to be touched and really make her realize that she is not to give any adoration to the lesser sex. I'm guessing that by the time I release her so she can ready herself for whatever boring endeavors she will have next she will KNOW that she has but one master, ME! Well ok, I'll let Twinkleshine and Fluttershy have fun with her too since they enjoy it so much.

Well while I was punishing Twilight, Luna again encountered trouble with the Saddle Arabian government. This time though, she banished their monarchs to the sun for calling her "moonbutt" and now Saddle Arabia is a commonwealth of Equestria. Yeah they get to keep SOME of their revenue but a lot of it comes to Equestria since we own them now. Oh well, I guess the extra revenue will help out, we have some roads that could be improved upon. Now Luna is wondering what nation she should take the next time I have Twilight locked up in my chambers for an extended amount of time. Maybe it will be Neigh Zealand, I never did like those punks and I could straighten that backwards land out.

Oh and I would like to apologize to you serfs. Talking about this crappy movie put me into full bitch mode and I just lost control of myself. Hey look at it this way, I could have given you all my synopsis of Howard the Duck, the absolute worst movie of all time. Ugh, whatever humans came up with that abomination should have been hung for the crime of idiocy.

Oh and just so you know, I executed Sunset Shimmer's parents in courtyard one and after that, my sister and I held the biggest party in the history of Canterlot. Of course Pinkamena Diane Pie organized it, she does throw the best "after public execution" parties.