Hello peasants, this is your Supreme Dictator Celestia again and one of the biggest events of the year is upon us, the Grand Galloping Gala. While I tend to find this event increasingly boring and useless, the dressmakers of Equestria have convinced me for decades to keep it going given the money they make off of it so I keep this shitty tradition alive.

Let's get started on this. It appears as though the pegasi have created yet another wonderful day down in Ponyville and up here in Canterlot. It would have been a shame had they decided a nasty rainstorm would have been necessary, causing my girls to get wet down there before coming up here. Well in the case of my sexy Twily, it would have been a good thing. Speaking of Twily, she has suddenly decided that her and her friends are too good to take the train up here so she uses some fancy spell to turn an apple into a carriage. Ugh, that reminds me of something that lame ass showboat Trixie would do. What would happen next would horrify everypony. She uses street magic to turn four mice into the ugliest horses of all time. I know she wants to get up here to see me as soon as possible but no way in Tartarus am I letting those hideous beasts into Canterlot! Luckily for me Opal attacks one of them and they take off.

Now they have no way to get to the Gala, well until Rarity promises to whore herself out to a couple of her neighbors. How dare she, first she wants to seduce my idiot nephew and now she wants to bang these two hacks? Not after I'm done with her. After tonight, she will realize that MARES are the way to go! She'll never bat an eye at a stallion ever again. Again I had to do a little teleport and invisibility spell to see how Spike wanted in while they were getting dressed. It wasn't Spike wanting in that shocked me, it was the fact that Rarity wears false eyelashes. Yep, she has no natural eyelashes. Well they always say that when a pony lacks in one area, they overcompensate in other areas, hopefully she will prove that right tonight in my sleeping chambers.

Well after what seems to be forever they finally get going on their way to the Gala. I know Spike is excited to get to the donut shop but damn it, must he treat those hacks pulling their carriage like stagecoach horses. Come on boy, this ain't the Dodge Junction Express! They finally get here and burst into a magical number involving their dreams and of course, my sexy Twily's involves giving me bedroom eyes and talking about magic. Oh we'll be doing more than talking about magic tonight, we'll be experiencing it too!

Of course after their magical number they go off their separate ways and leave Spike all alone. Oh well, I'm sure Donut Joe won't mind given that Spike will be his only customer for most of the night. Now naturally Fluttershy goes off to piss off MY animals. What she doesn't realize is that I approached them earlier today and told them to do whatever it took to frustrate a yellow pegasus with a pink mane and tail and three butterfly cutie marks. I figure that if she is overly frustrated, I can make her feel all better!

Of course Rarity sees my nephew and naturally starts her pursuit. Ugh, her taste in potential mates is as hideous as her tail is. I wouldn't wish Blueblood on those vile witches from G1, much less any Equestrian pony. Enough about Rarity, Applejack has set her pie stand. Luckily for her my sister paid the vendor fee for her so she can sell her sweets. I know Luna appreciates her hard work ethic but to bend over backwards for her seems a bit excessive. Luckily for Applejack, Soarin' is hungry, as usual. He buys one of her pies and naturally she is happy. Sadly though, none of the rest of these ponies want her treats. Then again what can you expect when most of the guests are upper class snobs that eat caviar and demand imported apples?

Regarding Soarin's apple pie, he drops the damn thing and who comes to the rescue? Rainbow Dash of course! She must think that if she can save it, she can get one of them in bed....I highly doubt it is Soarin' she wants though. My sister has visited her dreams and reported rather disturbing images of her and Spitfire defiling the Wonderbolt Academy mess hall. Well Spitfire asks her if she wants to hang out and she goes all fangirl and nearly pisses in her dress before following them into the VIP section.

Pinkie Pie gets her chance to party, which would prove to be futile because the guests are way too boring and stupid to know how to have fun. She bounces around like always and bursts into song, which they don't like. Now she is relegated to sitting at a table singing to herself. She should just go join Spike in the donut shop since she obviously won't fit in here. I feel bad for her but she should have known better. This ain't the foal and filly fair!

Now comes my beloved Twily running up the stairs shouting, "Celestia Master, let's get started! I can't wait!" Of course the writers edited that to something more fit for a kids' show. I gave her a seductive smile and whispered, "Not now Twily, we have to wait for the others!" Hey, just because Twily's already in heat doesn't mean I'm going to leave her friends out in the cold.

For a while Twilight and I have this long line of ponies that need being welcomed to the Gala. I suddenly notice something, it seems like I have the same damn ponies going through that line several times. Is that all you got animators? Do you only have a few generic designs for ponies. I swear, Fine Line must have gone through that line a dozen times. Next time I'm only going to give tickets to a select few and I'm thinking I will exclude most of the wealthy ponies, they are far too boring.

After nearly nodding off a couple of times and being bitched at by a couple rich scum ponies, things start to get interesting. From the ball room I hear the band playing a tune that sure ain't fit for the Gala and I hear Pinkie singing "The Pony Pokey." I'm thinking, "Thank Faust, maybe this accursed event will be fun after all!"

Now I start to hear Pinkie making more noise in the ballroom and I can see from afar that Applejack has decided to find a different way to get these snobs to eat her treats, too bad she won't make any money on it. And what is this? Rarity is still trying to whore herself out to Blueblood? If I were her I would have just left, came up with me and Twilight and waited to have some fun. Pinkie dives and launches Applejack's cake into the air and good grief, I learn that my nephew is a bigger pussy than I thought. He puts Rarity in front of him to take the hit from the cake. Maybe this isn't all bad though, Rarity is rather worked up and I'll be just the one to calm her down! I might even let her tie that hideous tail of hers around my back hooves if it will make her feel better, key word, might!

Ok Rarity's mad and Blueblood winds up knocking the Alicorn over. Eventually Rainbow Dash catches it but knocks a column over, which caused all the others to fall over as well. I know she was thinking that she could get Spitfire in bed if she kept the whole room from being destroyed. Sadly for her, Spitfire only has eyes for Fleetfoot. Just as she thinks she has saved the day, the statue breaks and I decide that I should go check it out. Of course Twily won't leave my side, fearing that if she does she won't have the time of her life.

The place is a disaster area but I am actually happy, I hoped this boring event would have some excitement for a change. Now the ultimate fun comes, my animals stampede into the room as an enraged Fluttershy chases them in. What? My dear, sweet, innocent Fluttershy is in a rage? Such a rage that she has my animals on the run? Yeah it is irritating that she did this to my animals but hey, I'll get compensated for it tonight.

As all out chaos ensues and more damage is done to the ballroom Twilight and her friends run off to the donut shop and after I throw all the rich snobs out, I go looking for them. When I find them I discover that Spike said that his plans of them sticking together would have been so much better. How dare he, he wants a boring Gala and he probably wants Rarity for himself! Well that ain't happening.

After everypony agrees with that smug ass dragon I have a talk with them. Remember how I have brought up a seven mare orgy in the past. Well I have decided against it because some of them I simply don't find attractive. Applejack, bless her heart simply doesn't remind me of the type that would engage in that activity, Rainbow Dash is as close to a boy as you can get without having a penis and Pinkie is just too damn immature. Applejack looked relieved, Pinkie was talking about throwing a "You're gonna get laid" party for Rarity, Fluttershy and Twilight while Rainbow Dash grunted and flew away.

I led the three chosen ones towards my chambers but first I told a guard to relay a message to Luna. I told him to tell her, "Twilight and her friends aren't going to be busy for a while so I'm taking three of them on a vacation. Could you perform my duties for a few months?"

He obliged and I took my lovely slaves up to my room and we started our several months of fun! Now be gone with you serfs, I have several months of non-stop fun with the three hottest mares in Equestria ahead of me!