Hello everypony, this is your beloved dictator Celestia again and do I have a surprise for you, my analysis of "Party of One"

Well it looks like another wonderful day has arrived in Ponyville and as usual, my hot little student is reading away when what happens, Pinkie Pie decides to go deliver a singing telegram to her about her stupid alligator's birthday. Come on, nopony cares about the birthday of a toothless alligator. I am not happy that she interrupts my student from reading a book I sent to her about new sex positions! Well after she finishes annoying my little Twily she goes and annoys the rest of her friends. By the end of her singing telegram she is so tired she collapses on Fluttershy's doorstep.

Well her annoying her friends is bad enough but the fact that she was able to get them to attend this ridiculous party is even worse. I invited Twilight and Fluttershy to a party in my bedroom that day too but they just had to pick this instead. Well next time I see them, I'll punish them severely if you know what I mean. Seriously though, why would anypony choose a party for a brain dead alligator over a party with the sexiest pony to ever exist? Well they have their dumb party, engage in boring Pinkie party antics and then go home. Then Twilight has to make the dumbest suggestion ever, that they'll have to have another party soon.

Well shit, here I was thinking I could drag Twilight up here the next day for some fun but the party pony just has to ruin it. She shows up the next day and invites Twilight to "an after birthday part for Gummy." Seriously? Who in Equestria throws an "after birthday party?" That has to be the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard of. Twilight however, has other plans. Pinkie approaches her over this but this time my student was ready, she pulled all her books out and told Pinkie she had to hit the books. Well yeah she has to hit the books, she has to learn something new! After all, I can only enjoy the same old stuff for so long. Sadly that was not what Twilight was going to study, she was simply making an excuse so she could plan out Pinkie's birthday party.

Well I suppose all I will get to do is watch Twilight and her friends do what it takes to get everything ready for Pinkie's party, which winds up becoming rather humorous....so humorous in fact that I can put my urges aside for some comedy. Now back to the episode, her other friends make excuses as well as to why they can't attend the party. She acts more and more suspicious as they all decline her invitations. I don't blame them, I would decline that kind of invitation as well. I would have simply told her that after birthday parties are stupid but that is just me.

Unfortunately for her friends, they don't manage to do that good of a job when it comes to avoiding detection. For starters, my beloved Twily must not be all that bright. She just had to go to the sweets shop to pick up the cake. I would think that if those five had an ounce of common sense, they would have had the cake delivered to Sweet Apple Acres the night before, that or had me watch over it and deliver it that day, under the condition that Twilight and Fluttershy compensate me, but it is too late for that now! Now you'd think Mrs. Cake and Twilight both would wonder what the hay is going on with the tin can in Sugarcube Corner but both of them lack common sense and don't think a thing about it.

Well Twilight gets the cake and heads over to Rarity's. What she doesn't know is that she is being followed by Pinkie, wearing the lamest and most overused disguise of all time, the glasses, human nose and mustache. I swear, while she does have her moments, she is quite dumb there. Anypony would know that is her. Well Rarity thinks she hears something and Gummy blows their cover so she has to find a new disguise. Speaking of Rarity, she is actually putting that hideous tail of her's to use. She is using it to carry the cake. Bravo Rarity! I didn't know she was that smart! Perhaps I should give her some special treatment at the Gala, if she decides to want me instead of my idiot nephew that is.

Well she delivers it to Fluttershy and who is right around the corner, a haybale with that stupid disguise on! Come on, that disguise will give Pinkie away no matter what. She could disguise herself as a pile of shit and as long as that disguise is on it, everypony will know it is her! Ok, the oh so sexy Fluttershy grabs that cake in her mouth and heads off but low and behold, she bumps into Haybale Pie and flies off. One thing most of you don't know. She was so scared she came up to Canterlot for a quickie to calm herself down. It's about damn time she put out, I was seriously considering banishing her to the moon if she would have waited much longer.

Once she got here and I took her to my sleeping chambers, I told a guard to keep an eye on this. From what he told me, Rainbow Dash walked by her and knew it was her. I must say that despite being an arrogant jock, that she is very observant. The guard broke down laughing as he told me about how no matter what she tried, she couldn't get away from Pinkie. I have some advice for Rainbow, fly up to Cloudsdale and hide....well maybe not, Pinkie would just beat her there in that balloon and manage to walk on clouds without having a spell cast on her. Suddenly I have the guard rushing in just as Fluttershy got me to climax yelling that Pinkie is chasing Rainbow towards the farm. I thought, "Oh shit! I can't have Fluttershy and the cake be missing!" With that I teleported her and the cake to the barn. What her friends thought when she was soaked with my nectar I'm not sure, but as long as she got washed off before Pinkie's party, all will be fine.

Well once I get back to my window to spy on Ponyville some more I see Pinkie interrogating poor Applejack over what is going on. Good thing my sister didn't see this or she would have flown down there, threatened to banish Pinkie to the sun if she didn't leave her alone and despite claiming she doesn't like sweets, she would have probably ate most of the cake herself.

Now the truly fun part ensues, Pinkie decides she must interrogate innocent little Spike over this. For me to see the next part, I had to cast an invisibility spell on myself and bolt to Ponyville. When I get there she has poor Spike in a chair and is interrogating him. Now you'd think Spike would wonder what is up with her offering him gems just to talk. Yeah he can be useful at times but at other times he is far too trusting. Pinkie keeps on yelling at him as he talks. I'm thinking, "Would you just shut up bitch? He wasn't in on this, alright?"

Finally Spike tells Pinkie what she wants to hear, AFTER WHAT SHE TELLS HIM WHAT TO SAY! Guess what, now we have Pinkamena Diane Pie! What a shame it wasn't the fan version of her, I was in the mood to watch some pony going on a killing spree, oh well though, I guess seeing her completely lose it and befriend inanimate objects will have to do. I suppose she decided that a bucket of turnips, a pile of rocks, a piece of lint and a sack of flour would be sooooo much better than real friends! Well they sure the hell won't be element bearers. Oh great, if this keeps up I'll have to find a new pony to bear the element of laughter.

Well after imagining her new "friends" are talking and moving on their own, Rainbow finally shows up to drag her ass to her party. Now something happened that should not be happening in a children's cartoon, in their struggle, Pinkamena ends up sitting on Rainbow's head. Now whether she was simply trying to suffocate her or wanted to give her a golden shower is beyond me, when it comes to these two, I'd rather not know.

Well finally Rainbow drags Pinkamena to Sweet Apple Acres for her party. In the crazed state she was in, Pinkamena thought they were throwing her a farewell party. Now why in Equestria would anypony throw somepony else a farewell party. With the way she was acting, they should have just thrown her out, told her to go to Tartarus and threw a "Twilight and Fluttershy are off to see Celestia party." Well eventually they get Pinkamena to see that it was her birthday and she returns to normal. Guess what though, she then wants to turn it into an "After Birthday party for Gummy" because he was upset his got cut short. Give me a break, it lasted for several hours.

I did get a good letter from Twilight which really read, "Dear Master Celestia, While I am enjoying Pinkie's stupid birthday party Fluttershy and I have plans on bolting early. Don't worry, we'll be there by nightfall. Love, Twilight Sparkle

P.S. Could you get Luna to do your duties for a few days, we're both really frustrated right now and need several days with you."

Of course my answer was yes and I'm seriously thinking that maybe I should just let Luna take over everything, make Twilight and Fluttershy immortal and have a threesome with them for all eternity.